Podcast Summary: Handsome
Episode: Ike Barinholtz Asks About Opening a Restaurant
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Date: April 28, 2026
Podcast Network: Headgum
Main Theme:
Comedian and actor Ike Barinholtz poses the question: If the hosts were to open a restaurant, what would it be called, what food would they serve, and what would the menu look like? The hosts go down a hilarious, creative rabbit hole, outlining absurd restaurant concepts, sharing personal stories, and riffing on everything from shaved legs to immersive dining experiences and breast milk ice cream.
Episode Overview
This episode is centered around the playful, often chaotic brainstorming of hypothetical restaurant ideas in response to Ike Barinholtz’s question. Alongside wild culinary concepts, Tig, Fortune, and Mae banter about travel stories, family dynamics, European adventures, and the nature of nostalgia—as well as more than a few tangents about body hair, gang personas, and mayonnaise on fries.
Major Discussion Points & Segments
1. Opening Banter: Touring, Nostalgia & Hygiene
[01:10–04:44]
- Mae is finally settled with proper equipment after “chaotic” travel.
- The trio discusses their shaving habits—including “smooth” legs in sheets.
- Fortune brings up the idea that hair “holds energy”:
- “People believe that your hair holds on to energy so that when you get it trimmed, you're like letting... sheeding some of that.” —Fortune ([04:44])
- Jokes about being a “helpful gang” and doing “gang voices”.
2. Sibling Stories & Fishing Plans
[08:09–11:13]
- Fortune talks about fishing with her brother and losing her “butch card” for not wanting to bait hooks.
- Mae: “I think true masculinity, it comes from having boundaries… and saying, ‘hey, touch my fish.’” ([10:23])
- Discussion of the awkwardness and nostalgia of adult sibling relationships.
3. Reflecting on Old Friends and Living Situations
[12:30–15:47]
- Mae relates a nostalgic meet-up with an old roommate in Toronto.
- Story of living with roommate’s mom, Norma, for a year:
- “And then eventually it got too awkward and my roommate moved out, and it was just me and her mom. We lived there another year.” —Mae ([14:16])
- “Dank” Prince music:
- “She comes out of her bedroom and goes, ‘guys, don't you think the music's a little dank?’” —Mae ([15:00])
4. European Tour Stories & Amsterdam Report
[21:01–24:11]
- Fortune shares her trip to Amsterdam during tulip season, “window shopping” in the Red Light District, and sampling stroopwafels.
- Observes how normalized sex work is there:
- “...it's just such a part of that city and the culture there…The girls are fine. They're great. They're living their best life.” —Fortune ([23:55])
- Mae delivers a quick “May Fact” on Stockholm Syndrome ([24:33]).
5. Listener Gifts & Fan Interactions
[27:30–28:26]
- Mae reveals she receives a large number of handmade gifts from fans for all three hosts, such as “knitted dolls” and “paintings.”
6. Home Repairs & Health Chatter
[29:05–32:43]
- Tig details construction chaos at her house and her drooping eyelid surgery plans.
- Fortune on her extensive walks in Europe and blood test anxiety.
7. Restaurant Brainstorming
[36:12–61:27]
Ike Barinholtz’s Question:
[36:44]
“What is the name of your restaurant and what is the fare? Give me, like, a quick menu—appetizer, slash salad, main, dessert, cocktail.”
Host Pitches:
a) Tig & Mae’s: Utterly Delicious
- Theme: Staff with top surgery/double mastectomies, “no tits allowed.”
- Menu joke: Everything made with breast milk.
- “And it's called Utterly Delicious.” —Tig ([41:51])
- “The irony is, no one has tits.” —Fortune ([42:36])
- Not a practical proposal, but becomes a running joke.
b) Tig’s: Pasquale’s Pizzeria
- Named for Tig’s father’s dream Italian pizzeria, but vegan.
- “Vegan pizza. And you know, Pasquale would approve. He would be so proud.” —Tig ([44:31])
- Traditional Italian décor, checkered tablecloths, black-and-white family photos.
- Menu: Vegan pizzas (including mushroom, jackfruit, and barbecued watermelon), vegan tiramisu, vegan affogato, maple syrup for crust “dessert”.
c) Mae’s: Hey, Come On In (aka Little Cowboys)
- Comfort food: mashed potatoes, schnitzel, lasagna; tables spaced apart for comfort.
- Outside seating for espresso and cigarettes.
- Live band—jazzy Beatles covers.
- “I want, like, comfort food, like mashed potatoes and schnitzel and, like, lasagna...some tables outside where you can smoke a cigarette.” —Mae ([51:07])
- Optional “immersive”/escape room-style dining experience: waiters give clues, secret menu items unlocked with code phrases.
- “Maybe there's a thing where... you get a slice of cake and you bite it and you're like, ‘oh no, it tastes different.’ Like it tastes like meatloaf...” —Mae ([55:46])
d) Fortune’s: Good Fortune(s)
- Farm-to-table, locally sourced meats, chicken, salads, and fish.
- Thoughtful buildout: greenhouse vibe, lots of windows, plants everywhere.
- Signature drinks: Old Fashioneds, a “mixologist” with a wall of booze.
- “A farm to table type of restaurant... everything's bought from [local farms].” —Fortune ([57:15], [57:30])
- Fortune cookies with “actual wisdom” and various chocolate dips.
e) Ike’s Dream Restaurant: Chai’s (Chicago-Inspired)
[61:56–63:14]
- All Chicago favorites: amuse bouche Chicago-style hot dog, Italian beef salad, meat pizza, chocolate-covered beef or pork for dessert, big cup of whiskey with sausage.
- “We never turn the light off, even if you have a heart attack at the table.” —Ike ([63:10])
Notable Quotes & Comedic Highlights
- On gang personas:
- “It's like we're a street gang or something that nobody's scared of us.” —Tig ([05:37])
- On the imaginary restaurant:
- “No tits allowed. You can eat there with your tits.” —Tig ([42:40])
- Mae, on immersive restaurants:
- “Maybe there’s a thing where... you get a slice of cake and you bite it and you’re like, ‘oh no, it tastes different. Like meatloaf or something.’” ([55:44])
- Tig, about vegan pizzeria:
- “Of course [we have vegan tiramisu]. It's Pasquale's pizzeria.” ([47:22])
- Ike, on his concept:
- “Chocolate pork sausage with, like, a big cup of whiskey... We never turn the light off, even if you have a heart attack at the table.” ([62:55], [63:10])
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Timestamp | Segment/Topic |
|-----------|--------------------------------------------|
| 01:10 | Hosts reuniting, shaving and hygiene banter|
| 08:30 | Fortune’s fishing trip & family stories |
| 12:30 | Mae’s nostalgic roommate story |
| 21:01 | Fortune’s Amsterdam adventures |
| 27:30 | Fan gifts & listener interactions |
| 29:05 | Tig’s construction woes & eyelid saga |
| 36:12 | Start of restaurant brainstorming |
| 41:51 | “Utterly Delicious” cafe riff |
| 44:31 | Tig’s “Pasquale’s Pizzeria” |
| 51:07 | Mae’s comfort-food & immersive concept |
| 57:15 | Fortune’s “Good Fortune(s)” idea |
| 61:56 | Ike Barinholtz presents his own restaurant |
| 63:14 | Wrap-up, show plugs, and tour dates |
Memorable Episode Moments
- The running theme of “tits/no tits allowed” as a restaurant concept.
- A detailed, tongue-in-cheek debate over using breast milk in desserts.
- The concept of a comfort-food restaurant with subtle immersive/escape room features.
- Ike’s Chicago-style amuse-bouche and “never turn the light off” quip.
Episode Tone & Style
The tone is casual, off-the-cuff, and consistently playful, veering into improv territory as the hosts riff off each other’s absurd ideas. The language is warm, friendly, and frequently cheeky, with plenty of double entendres and buzz of genuine camaraderie.
Who Will Enjoy This Episode?
Listeners who enjoy:
- Comedic brainstorming and improv-style banter
- Absurd, left-field humor
- Stories about travel, nostalgia, and family
- Whimsical, creative scenarios
- The personalities and comedic styles of Tig, Fortune, and Mae
This episode is a fun, no-holds-barred tour through the hosts’ imaginations, blending restaurant fantasy with personal anecdotes, all delivered in their trademark silly, irreverent style.
