Episode Summary: "Jerry O'Connell Asks About Invitations"

Release Date: March 25, 2025
Hosts: Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster
Guest: Jerry O'Connell

In this engaging episode of "Handsome", Jerry O'Connell poses a thought-provoking question about handling invitations to events one might not want to attend. Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster delve into their personal experiences, societal pressures, and practical strategies for navigating such social dilemmas. The conversation is laced with humor, relatable anecdotes, and insightful reflections, making it a valuable listen for anyone grappling with similar situations.

Mae Martin's Lip Tint Controversy

The episode kicks off with a candid discussion led by Mae Martin about a recent controversy surrounding her appearance on the "Daily Show." Mae reveals that her lips appeared unnaturally pink on camera, sparking speculation about whether she was wearing lipstick.

Mae Martin [04:03]:
"I've lost my mind because I did put on this, like, lip tint and then I didn't expect it to look. I just thought I would look healthy."

Mae explains how the unintended result of the lip tint led to overwhelming reactions online, with some fans defending her choice, making her question her initial response. She grapples with the idea of whether to openly confess her use of lip tint or maintain her position.

Mae Martin [05:10]:
"It's actually. It's a lip tint by Benefit that usually... look like bright pink. And then I didn't expect it to look that pink."

Hosts Share Makeup and Appearance Stories

Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Jerry O'Connell join Mae in sharing their own experiences with makeup and hair-related mishaps, highlighting the pressures of maintaining appearances in the public eye.

Jerry O'Connell [08:05]:
"They put like a little lip tint on me... When the clips came out, I was like, why are my lips so big?"

Tig Notaro [12:13]:
"I've had that happen, too, when I've... they put a little bit and it was fine."

These stories emphasize the universal struggle with managing personal appearance and the sometimes absurd outcomes that can result from cosmetic applications.

Strategies for Declining Unwanted Invitations

When addressing Jerry O'Connell's central question about how to handle invitations to events one doesn't want to attend, each host offers their unique perspective and strategies.

Thomas Willette [40:20]:
"I think I just feel like, you know, people get too involved in their excuses to get out of things when it's really okay to say, I'm not going to be able to make it."

Thomas Willette [40:59]:
"But if it's just a random invite, I just don't have any problem saying I'm not going to be able to make it. Thanks for the invite."

Mae Martin shares her lifelong goal to improve her ability to say no without over-promising or feeling guilty.

Mae Martin [41:39]:
"But that's like a real lifelong goal for me is sort that shit out because yeah, don't over promise."

Overcoming Social Pressures and Setting Boundaries

The conversation delves deeper into societal expectations around attendance and the importance of setting personal boundaries to maintain mental well-being.

Thomas Willette [40:20]:
"If it's somebody's birthday or their book is coming out or something I care about supporting, I feel like that overrides it for me. But if it's just a random invite, I just don't have any problem saying I'm not going to be able to make it."

Mae Martin discusses the anxiety associated with declining invitations and the internal conflict between being supportive and preserving her own mental health.

Mae Martin [41:55]:
"My problem is I want to go to everything. I'm excited by the invitation. In the moment. I have every intention of going. And then something happens and then I'm like, can I."

Humorous Interludes and Personal Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, the hosts infuse humor by sharing lighthearted and often absurd stories related to makeup mishaps, haircuts, and social interactions.

Jerry O'Connell [25:02]:
"Have I told you guys this?"

Mae Martin [49:14]:
"I was humiliated."

These anecdotes not only entertain listeners but also underscore the relatable nature of the discussion, making the episode both insightful and enjoyable.

Upcoming Events and Community Engagement

As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts take a moment to promote their upcoming events, tours, and projects, reinforcing the sense of community among the "Handsome" listeners.

Jerry O'Connell [58:46]:
"Our Austin show on April 12 is going to be live streamed. There are no tickets left, so that's the only way to see it."

Mae Martin [60:10]:
"I'm at Largo on March 28 and then April 25. And also what I would love so much is if people listen to my album..."

They encourage listeners to subscribe, share episodes, and engage with their content across various platforms, fostering a supportive and interactive community.

Conclusion

In this episode of "Handsome," Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster, along with guest Jerry O'Connell, provide a thoughtful exploration of the challenges associated with accepting or declining social invitations. Through a blend of personal stories, humor, and practical advice, the hosts offer listeners both entertainment and actionable insights into managing social pressures and setting healthy boundaries.

Notable Quotes:

• Mae Martin [04:03]:
  "I've lost my mind because I did put on this, like, lip tint and then I didn't expect it to look."

• Thomas Willette [40:20]:
  "I'm just not going to be able to make it. Thanks for the invite."

• Jerry O'Connell [08:05]:
  "Why are my lips so big?"

• Fortune Feimster [02:37]:
  "Bed is a magical place. So it should work for everything."

These quotes capture the essence of the hosts' experiences and the central themes discussed throughout the episode.