John Early asks about parental traits

Summary

Handsome Podcast Episode Summary

Episode: John Early asks about parental traits
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Release Date: November 25, 2025
Guest/Question Asker: John Early
Main Theme: Which personality traits (especially the most unsettling) did the hosts inherit from their parents?

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Episode Overview

This episode of Handsome delivers the show's signature charm and candor as hosts Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin respond to a question from comedian and actor John Early: “What’s the most obviously inherited quality or personality trait from your parents, especially the most upsetting one?” Along the way, the hosts riff on recent talk show appearances, family quirks, and gratitude, blending heartfelt reflection with relentless humor.

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Key Discussions and Insights

1. Showbiz Adventures and Anecdotes

• Mae’s NYC Trip and Talk Shows

  • Mae details a whirlwind New York trip (02:20) including appearances on Drew Barrymore and Kelly Clarkson; she shares meeting past podcast guest Allison Williams on her flight.
  • On Drew Barrymore: “We held hands...I did leave her my phone number...not in a romantic way. I just was like, we got along.” (03:41–04:12)
  • Tig and Mae reflect on Drew’s warmth and sense of comfort, to the point of imagining crashing at her place if stranded in NYC (04:54).

• Talk Show Crossovers and Wardrobe Crisis

  • Tig did Colbert, Drew, and Good Morning America, and recounts leaving a note on set for Tig to find (06:11–07:19).
  • Tig describes a vulnerable Colbert moment promoting Andrea's documentary, where she tears up reading a poem on-air:

    “There’s kind of no sign that it’s coming. And then when it happens, I’m like, oh, no.” (09:02–09:42)

  • Mae jokes that Tig wore the jacket Mae planned for her own talk show appearance (12:02).

• Wayward’s Success

  • Mae’s show is in its fourth week in Netflix’s Top 10, leading to more public recognition and, humorously, unsolicited pitches for Season 2 from fans (23:34–24:50).

2. Self-Care and Pedicure Banter (13:30–16:11)

• The trio discuss the joys (and quirks) of pedicures and self-care habits, revealing new sides ("girliness") and more about their often-overlooked downtime.
• Fortune: “I have tiny little nails, though, so they’re always just, like, doing little blops of paint. I get color on my toes, but just buffed on my hands.” (14:32)
• Tig: “I actually don’t even get my nails done. I just nibble them off.” (14:48)

3. Kelly Clarkson, Embarrassment, and Girl Power

• Mae describes becoming tongue-tied and effusive about women in showbiz while meeting Kelly Clarkson, only to realize she’d gotten somewhat overzealous:

  “Can I just say, you are so talented...Why are there no female late night hosts?” (21:26–22:33)

  • Kelly’s response: “All right, whoa.” Mae: “Yeah, I blacked out." (22:35)

4. Mae Meeting Allison Williams and Fame-Awareness

• Mae recounts meeting Allison Williams again, feeling both starstruck and awkward since “on the pod I had been so giddy and she had maybe seen that, so I was like, hey, what’s up?” (26:47)
• On Wayward fans: “I always get, ‘Oh, yeah, I watched you in something’...Sometimes people don’t know that I wrote it...” (24:18, 24:50)

5. Food Tangents: Oysters and Family Lore

• Extended silliness about oyster safety ("only eat oysters in months with ‘R’") and food habits, including learning about cold water oyster risks (28:19–29:50).

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Core Segment: John Early’s Question on Parental Traits

[31:03] John Early asks:

“What is the quality in you that is most, like, obviously inherited from one of your parents...the one that you’re most surprised at this point in your life that you have...the trait you inherited from your parents that's most upsetting?” ([31:18–32:03])

Host Responses

Tig Notaro

• Inherited Playfulness/Prankster Instinct (from her mother)

  • “I’m not a prankster...it’s more just kind of silly pranks...I can feel my mother in me.” (33:25)
  • Mother would send water shots to strangers in bars for laughs and dye mashed potatoes blue for Tig’s friends, just to see their reactions (34:45, 39:08).
  • “I always loved that side of my mother where she just...She would also call restaurants from the restaurant and check in on her waiter.” (38:36)

• From Stepfather: Rigidity/Strictness

  • “I feel like if I was just doing [parenting] by myself, I probably would have been a little more rigid about things, you know...You have to keep this particular schedule or routine.” (47:01–49:00)
  • Stephanie (Tig’s wife) balances this out, modeling a more flexible, nurturing parenting style.

Fortune Feimster

• Positives: Book-smarts and Street-smarts

  • “My mom’s very book smart…I think I got some of that from her. And my dad’s more street smart, and I think I got a little of that from him.” (40:37–40:51)

• Resilience from her mother (especially through illness)

  • “I always wanted my mom to not go to that [self-pity] place...She has surprised even herself at the resilience she's shown in it.” (41:26)

• Defensiveness (from her dad)

  • “I get a little defensive...if I feel reprimanded...that defensive thing kicks in where I'm just like, I didn't do anything, yeah, what, what, what...” (42:13)
  • “It's interesting as an adult to see that quality in yourself where you're just like, ah, I want to work on that.” (43:08)

• Locking Doors Obsessively (from her mom)

  • “I do lock the doors all the time because of my mom...It was like Fort Knox.” (51:06)

Mae Martin

• Playful Pessimism and Anxiety

  • “I think like, a general sense of dread...like at any minute something could go wrong and there’s, like, a physical tension in my family...Like we forget to take a deep breath.” (44:41)
  • Family described as "a very thinky family and not very connected to our bodies sometimes." (45:20)

• Sensation of Relaxation Only During Specific Activities

  • “I kind of only feel relaxed during a massage and, or during sex sometimes...But in, in a massage I can go instantly to like a deep state of relaxation.” (45:55)

• Dad’s Humor and Quirkiness

  • Mentions her grandfather’s (dad’s dad) proclivity for theatrical phone complaints to the BBC, just to make others laugh (40:04).

John Early’s Own Answer ([53:30]):

“There’s almost a pathological hosting quality...a need to host and be friendly...But it’s kind of me potentially...turned me into a kind of hawkeyed, oppressive host that I almost, like, you know, out of love, almost kind of strangle my guest to death, like...of Mice and Men style.” (53:30–54:35)

“My dad’s one of the funniest people on earth...I've inherited...using funny to disarm people and make people feel good...but also as a way to avoid conflict. As I know everyone on this podcast knows.” (54:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Drew Barrymore’s Kindness:
  "That is the magic of Drew Barrymore, is that she is going to treat you exactly how she treats her PAs, the security guards, her audience, Robert De Niro, friends...”
  — Tig Notaro ([04:15])

• Tig on Emotional Vulnerability:
  “There’s kind of no sign that it’s coming. And then when it happens, I’m like, oh, no.”
  — Tig Notaro, describing her tears on Colbert ([09:02])

• Mae on Starstruck Fangirling:
  “Can I just say, you are so talented...Why are there no female late night hosts? Why do women have to be such multi-hyphenates to just get their foot in the door?”
  — Mae Martin to Kelly Clarkson ([21:26–22:33])

• John Early’s Self-Effacing Honesty:
  “I almost, like, out of love, almost kind of strangle my guest to death, like of Mice and Men style.”
  — John Early ([54:03])

• On Gratitude:
  “It seems so wishy washy and basic, but I think it’s kind of a game changer just to, before bed and in the morning, think about all the things you’re grateful for.”
  — Mae Martin ([58:19])

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Key Timestamps

• 02:20 — Mae recounts meeting Allison Williams and prepping for talk shows
• 03:41–04:12 — Holding hands with Drew Barrymore and exchanging numbers
• 09:02 — Tig describes unexpectedly crying on Colbert
• 21:26–22:33 — Mae’s emotional fan speech to Kelly Clarkson
• 31:03 — John Early poses the main episode question on inherited parental traits
• 33:25 — Tig explains inheriting playful pranking from her mother
• 40:37–40:51 — Fortune explains book-smarts/street-smarts from her parents
• 42:13–43:08 — Fortune’s defensiveness, inherited from her father
• 44:41 — Mae on family tension and dread
• 53:30–54:35 — John Early answers his own question about hosting and humor habits

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Episode Tone

Light, honest, and silly, but punctuated by genuine vulnerability and the warmth of friendships forged in both comedy and real-life experiences. The hosts’ trademark banter is balanced with surprisingly earnest self-reflection.

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Takeaways

• The hosts are self-aware about what they carry from their parents—both the gifts and the baggage.
• John Early’s question unlocks a mix of funny, awkward, and poignant stories—showing how personality is shaped by both admiration and resistance.
• The show continues to blend showbiz snippets, roast-y camaraderie, and relatable confession, all while “keeping it handsome.”

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Useful For

Anyone interested in personal growth, family legacies, or the modest joys (and anxieties) of getting through life with humor, support, and a little bit of inherited eccentricity.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[Mae Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

It's the holidays, and like me, you.

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[Mae Martin]

Chatting with friends on the Handsome pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome pod. Cheers.

[Tig Notaro]

Hello, it's your friend Tig Notaro, one of the hosts of the Handsome pod. I'm sitting here with a couple of people by the name of May Martin. I'm Fortunate Feavester, Fortune Feaver, Enemy Martin.

[Fortune Feimster]

How are you guys doing? So good.

[Tig Notaro]

How are y'?

[Fortune Feimster]

All?

[Mae Martin]

Very well, thanks.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Are you.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, you're not in New York anymore?

[Mae Martin]

I'm back home. I'm back. I'm back home. But what a trip, guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

Was it. What happened?

[Mae Martin]

Well, just from the. The perspective of, like, the lore of this podcast, I feel like it was a big trip for me because we talk about. I went and did Drew Barrymore show and Kelly Clarkson, and we talk about them so much on the pod. But first I was on the plane and on the way to New York.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Guess who.

[Mae Martin]

Guess who.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

I see.

[Mae Martin]

Guess who. Guess what?

[Tig Notaro]

The pilot. The pilot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Was that fun?

[Mae Martin]

The captain let me sit on his lap.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh.

[Tig Notaro]

I would call hr.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. No. Allison Williams, who asked a question on the pod, and we were all giddy about. And she was. She like an angel, came and crouched by my chair and shouted to me. It was so nice.

[Tig Notaro]

What did she have to say for herself?

[Mae Martin]

She went on this political diatribe. No, just kidding. Imagine. No, she was really nice. She. I just said I was nervous for Drew Barrymore, and she was saying, oh. That she'd just done it, and Drew was so nice. So that was.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you settle when you got to the Drew taping?

[Mae Martin]

Did I settle? No.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

I would.

[Mae Martin]

Maybe halfway through the. The interview, I started to relax, but because she.

[Fortune Feimster]

Drew talk close to you.

[Mae Martin]

Thank God we held hands.

[Ad Read Voice 3]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

I knew it.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. And I did kind of like going in, I was remembering what you guys had said. Like, you're going to think you're in love.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I think she's in love, too.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. But I did. I did leave her my phone number, so obviously it did get in my head. I. I left, like, a card afterwards. Not. I don't think in a romantic way. I just was like, we got along. Oh, well. So I. I wrote, like, a thank you card, and then I wrote, here's my number.

[Fortune Feimster]

Here's my digits.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. That is the magic of Drew Barrymore, is that she is going to treat you exactly how she treats her PAs, the security guards, and, like, her audience, Robert De NIRO Friends.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Yes.

[Mae Martin]

100%. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And it's really, really incredible to see somebody that really does not, like, she does not at all give anything less.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Like, she doesn't morph or change according to. Yeah. It was super, super nice.

[Tig Notaro]

I know. I always think, like, if I. Okay. And maybe I've said this when we talked about Drew, I feel like if I was in New York City and I was stranded, I would feel very comfortable. And I don't even know if she would respond, but I would feel very comfortable saying, drew, I'm stranded. For whatever reason, I can't get a hotel room. Can I come over? And if she said yes, I would feel comfortable sleeping in her bed.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I wouldn't be trying to get anything romantic going on. I'm just saying, like, that's how. How comfortable.

[Mae Martin]

That's sort of how I felt. And I. I. Yeah. Yeah. What an. What a special ray of sunshine.

[Fortune Feimster]

Aw.

[Mae Martin]

Then I did Kelly. Kelly Clarkson.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

The.

[Mae Martin]

Kelly Clarkson.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, the knockoff.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Kelly Clarkson. The one. How'd that go?

[Mae Martin]

Well, first of all, though, Tig, you did Stephen Colbert.

[Tig Notaro]

I did. And I did Drew as well. And then I just got back from Good Morning America.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nice. Oh, my God, you guys are all over the place.

[Tig Notaro]

We were all over place. But this is way after. This is airing way after the fact, so go back and watch our clips.

[Mae Martin]

And I. So I left a note for you in the sofa.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Did that.

[Tig Notaro]

I was going to reveal that, but you went ahead and revealed it.

[Mae Martin]

Sorry. Did it work, Tig? Afterwards, I was like, is this me trying to, like, muscle in on like. You're probably going to be.

[Tig Notaro]

It worked. I mean, they did a video of me trying to find the note that you left.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

Oh, really?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I couldn't. I don't know if they're going to air it anywhere, but I couldn't find it. And so the producer kind of, like, said, you're hot, you're cold, you're hot, hot, hot, hot, burning hot. And then I flipped the wrong thing over.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cold, cold, cold. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

I was like, I'm 54. Where is the note?

[Mae Martin]

Where is this fucking note that I never asked for?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't have much time left.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm 54. Where is this note?

[Tig Notaro]

54. I don't want to play hide and seek. And I also have limited time on where is the note?

[Mae Martin]

Stupid note. Yeah. And the note was just like, keep it handsome and I can't wait to spend some quality one on one time with you or something like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it was kind of generic. I'll be honest. It was a generic, handsome friendship note. But I was very pleased to get it once I finally was led to it. But, yeah, I did Colbert, and I did something I've never done before, and I burst into tears on national television.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Why?

[Mae Martin]

It was amazing.

[Tig Notaro]

They asked me. I was out promoting Andrea's doc.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And I was asked if I wanted to read one of Andrea's poems. And so I was like, oh, yeah. So I was planning on doing that. And, you know, it was definitely going to be a very different vibe than when I'm normally with my boyfriend, Colbert.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

So I'm standing, I'm waiting in the wings, you know, and he comes over before he introduces his guests, and he says hi to them. And, well, normally we have a silly time, but this one, he walks over, gives me the biggest hug, holds my hand, looks me in the eyes, and he says, I love you. And I knew that was, like, about the Doc and Andrea. And so then my emotions jumped into my throat.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Right below the surface.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And so I go on, and we're talking, and then he said, I would love for you to read one of Andrea's poems. And I was like, okay. And I was thinking, I can do this. I'm all right. And I was reading it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, boy.

[Tig Notaro]

I got about two thirds of the way through. And then there's this line of, like, when you hear the chains of a swing set, only the soul. You know, hearing the chains of a swing set can bring you to your knees. And I think later I realized that I was connecting with feeling on my knees. That's how I felt in that moment. So I think when I said that, it just. I'm that kind of crier where it's like, there's kind of no sign that it's coming. And then when it happens, I'm like, oh, no.

[Mae Martin]

The way you started, you sort of got. I mean, there's nothing more like tear jerking than watching someone try not to cry. That's, like, more moving than watching someone cry, I think. And watch it. It was just the most powerful. And the poem is so beautiful. And. Yeah, it was just.

[Tig Notaro]

It's so beautiful.

[Mae Martin]

You cry like river Phoenix. It was very handsome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, it's true.

[Tig Notaro]

I.

[Fortune Feimster]

Handsome crier.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I struggled that night, and I didn't sleep well because I was, like, really in my head of. I already had to edit Andrea's poem, which I felt horrible about because I didn't have all of the time in the world on the segment. And then I didn't even get to finish it. And so it basically ends with me going, swing set. And I was like, in my mind, I'm like, andrea wouldn't have ended the poem there. There was more. I'm sorry, but I was texting with Meg, Andrea's wife, after, and she was just like, it was perfect. It's how Andrea actually would have wanted it. And in the documentary, Andrea says, when I die, I know that's just gonna make everybody that I love more of who they are as a person. And I kind of didn't understand that. And Meg was telling me she never liked that because she was like, I don't know what good could ever come from this. And. But she said she understands it now. And she said. And I feel like actually, you going on Colbert so vulnerable and reading one of Andrea's poems actually was you becoming more of who you are. And so it just was. It's. I feel better about it. I just I felt like I had botched the mission when I was. When I was crying and I was.

[Mae Martin]

Like, jesus, I feel like the mission.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is a real moment, though.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. A real moment. And I feel like the mission is just, like, spreading love and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And showing that beautiful vulnerability that Andrea had, too.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

But anyway, I was messaging you, and then I felt I was, like, deeply moved by the clip. And then another part of me was like, oh, fuck. Tig is wearing the only jacket that I brought to wear on Kelly Clarkson tomorrow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, really? Yes.

[Mae Martin]

The exact Imogen and Willie green jacket. And I was thinking, oh, great, now this is going to be another viral clip of take on a talk show. It's going to be infamous. And this is. I can't wear that jacket now. But I wore. But I did.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, mine was an actual, I think, real army jacket.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, really?

[Fortune Feimster]

From your time in the service?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, when I did it when I served during do not, don't, don't tell, don't ask, do not tell.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And then we talked about you a lot. Fortune on Kelly Clarkson. We. Like, half my little interview was about how much we love you, so. Oh, you're very beloved at that show.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's sweet. Yeah, I love them, too. Well, guys, we've had quite a week.

[Mae Martin]

What have you been up to? Tell us.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, y'.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

All.

[Mae Martin]

Girl, girl, don't even.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't hold anything back, girl.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, lay it out for us, girl. Let me tell you.

[Fortune Feimster]

What I have been up to. I've had.

[Mae Martin]

First of all, you had your hair.

[Tig Notaro]

Done, did you not?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, it's just gorgeous today.

[Mae Martin]

It is gorgeous today.

[Tig Notaro]

What about your nails? Your nails look divine.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that. I do need to actually get my nails done this weekend. And I'm not being facetious. I actually really do love a manicure and pedicure.

[Tig Notaro]

I love a pedicure. Yeah, I'm getting one tomorrow.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think I might get one tomorrow, too.

[Tig Notaro]

You've never had one?

[Ad Read Voice 2]

May.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

I? Don't.

[Mae Martin]

I don't think so.

[Tig Notaro]

Welcome to your new life.

[Mae Martin]

Really?

[Tig Notaro]

Does it matter?

[Fortune Feimster]

Girl, let me tell you about a pedicure.

[Tig Notaro]

This little piggy went to the pedicure. Tell us Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

I. I haven't done it. I mean, I've done them plenty, but I'm gonna do it, I think, tomorrow as well. So we'll have a handsome pedicure day.

[Mae Martin]

Put it on the list, though, Thomas.

[Fortune Feimster]

I get the callus remover and stuff. You know, you just gotta get everything just kind of scraped off your foot.

[Tig Notaro]

And speak to yourself.

[Fortune Feimster]

Start anew.

[Tig Notaro]

While I go throw up.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have tiny little nails, though, so they're always just, like, doing little blops of paint. I get adorable. I get color on my toes, but just buffed on my hands.

[Tig Notaro]

Really, girl.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Girl.

[Tig Notaro]

Have to have a spa day. That's me. I. I actually don't even get my nails done. I just nibble them off. And then I go in for my. My pedicure, and I get little. I get my. My toenails painted as well.

[Mae Martin]

What color, girl?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I like a sparkly blue or a purple, and I got red last time.

[Tig Notaro]

Give me flaming red toenails.

[Fortune Feimster]

I said, let's keep those toes sexy.

[Tig Notaro]

I go for, like, a deep, deep maroon. Like a deep maroon. Yes, I do.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Mae Martin]

So when we.

[Tig Notaro]

When we get our handsome firefighter calendar going, we have to each have foot fetish months, where it's my feet, your feet, your feet, you know, and then Thomas can plop down his hair.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't want anyone looking at my toes too closely, though.

[Mae Martin]

I got really long. We can do a bird's eye view of your feet. Yeah. Fortunes are from a far distance.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Okay. I'm gonna get a pedicure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Girly side of us, I do too.

[Tig Notaro]

It's like, I feel like I'm home.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I bet if people listening did not expect to hear us talking about manicures and pedicures.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. But here we are.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but that's. So that's my plan. I'm gonna be a bum today and do nothing, though. I have not had a day off. And fortune that fills me two months.

[Tig Notaro]

Would you ever consider doing cartwheels in your backyard just to kind of be like, I off work and then, you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Know, I would, except I don't want to hurt myself, and I feel like that's dicey.

[Mae Martin]

It gives me a lot of joy to think about you taking a day off. That is nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what's smart?

[Tig Notaro]

Checking Allstate first for a quote that.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

Could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking? If there's an online forum for your extremely niche hobby. You love carving ocean animals out of driftwood. And it turns out there are 12 other people on the Internet who are just as into it as you are.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Yeah, check in first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Every kid has potential, but no matter what they grow up to be, they're.

[Mae Martin]

Gonna have to deal with money.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

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[Fortune Feimster]

I wish I had had this as a kid.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

I mean there are so many financial.

[Fortune Feimster]

Life lessons that I had to learn.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

The hard way and I think we don't talk to kids about finances enough.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

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[Mae Martin]

Are here what if you could give.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

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[Ad Read Voice 2]

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[Ad Read Voice 1]

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[Mae Martin]

To WI Fi and you're ready to go.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

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[Mae Martin]

Speaking of girl power, I think I did something embarrassing at Kelly Clarkson.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I kissed her. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

No, wait, on Drew.

[Mae Martin]

No, on Kelly.

[Tig Notaro]

Kelly.

[Mae Martin]

Because what happened was I. The night before, I watched. I was just alone in my hotel room, and I watched the 1996 live tour, I think it was in Japan or something, of Alanis doing Jagged Little Pill. I don't know why.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Mae Martin]

It was. I watched a full, like, hour and a half tour concert just on my laptop, and I was just like, is.

[Tig Notaro]

This what the retreat taught you to do?

[Mae Martin]

No, this was not one of the tips, but it should be. It was more therapeutic than anything.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I was watching her, like, truly, her vocal performance is insane. She's in this, like, baggy gray T shirt, sprinting around the stage. Taylor Hawkins from the Foo Fighters is on the drums. It's just like. I was like, this is. I mean, why is she not more.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

In the pantheon of, like. She's like Robert Plant.

[Mae Martin]

Like, it's crazy. So anyway, that was my mood going into Kelly Clarkson. I got myself all worked up about Kelly's talent, and. And I got really kind of. I kept saying backstage, like, God, you know, Kelly, Drew, they're just so talented. And then, so, you know, you have, like, a minute to talk to the host after the interview's done, and you take your little photo and they usher you off, and the next guest comes in. So she's like, oh, so.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, to be fair, with Drew, they only give you, like, three minutes to hold each other before you leave.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, true. Just to embrace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, kelly, thank you so much for having me. And she's like, oh, so great to meet you.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

And.

[Mae Martin]

And then I go, can I just say. And it was just like with fucking Justin Trudeau. When I told him, your legacy will.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Be great, something came over me.

[Mae Martin]

I launch into.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

I've never met this woman.

[Mae Martin]

I go, can I just say, you are so talented. And it is crazy that I said, women have to be so good to, like, break through. I was like, you are a platinum artist. You're an incredible talk show host. I was like, it's. There's no female late night host. Like, I don't know what I was doing. I went on a monologue. She's like, okay. And I go. Because I was just thinking, like, look at Drew Barrymore. That's a literal movie star. Like, a movie star who's also an incredible, like, producer, actor, an amazing interviewer. Same Person.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Person.

[Mae Martin]

Same with Kelly, like, her vocal talent and. Yeah. And I was just like, why are there no female late night hosts? Why do people have. Why do women have to be such multi hyphenates to just get their foot in the door? And I was getting real worked up. And anyway, Kelly was like, all right, whoa.

[Tig Notaro]

You blink and she's walked away.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, I blacked out. Yeah, away. It was crazy. She goes, well, you know, we just got to leave the door open for the next generation. I was like, yeah, okay. Anyway, bye.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right, well, it's been fun.

[Tig Notaro]

Your legacy will be great.

[Mae Martin]

That was the vibe. I don't know what came over me. I was just, like, in awe of these women.

[Tig Notaro]

You were feeling it.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, I actually was really feeling it. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

That's great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Strong, talented ladies got you excited?

[Mae Martin]

They got me all flustered. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And your pantalones.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, boy, here we go.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, also, people kept saying, like, in their introductions and stuff that I directed Wayward, and I'm. I'm not correcting them, but I didn't. But people keep going. They. They wrote, directed, and I'm like, all right.

[Tig Notaro]

Choreographed all the dance moves.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

To be clear, I didn't direct it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Your show's still in the top 10.

[Mae Martin]

You know, dude, it's nuts.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's crazy.

[Mae Martin]

It's so wild.

[Tig Notaro]

So how long do shows that are in the top 10 usually stay in the top 10?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, like a week and a half is, like, a long. Like, a very long time. Most are there a couple days and leave, if at all.

[Tig Notaro]

This is like a month.

[Fortune Feimster]

May. How long has it been?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, we're going into week four. Yeah, it's not.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's like, a lot of views.

[Tig Notaro]

That's incredible.

[Mae Martin]

It's so crazy. And if we do, like, another week, then we're at, like, squid game level numbers. It's so nuts.

[Tig Notaro]

And so now I must know. When you're out in the world just being your Mae Martin self, are you getting more like, oh, my God, there's May.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

May.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God, May.

[Mae Martin]

I never get May. I always get. Oh, yeah, I watched you in something. I get that a lot. But then I went to the Whitney Art Gallery, and in New York.

[Tig Notaro]

Is that where I was supposed to meet you?

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Yep.

[Mae Martin]

That's where we almost hung out. Listen, traffic was bad.

[Tig Notaro]

Plus I had to prep for my public cry.

[Mae Martin]

Yes, exactly. But, like, three separate people came up to me and pitched me. Season twos of Wayward, like, came up and were like, all right, season two. This is what happens.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

But sometimes People don't know that I wrote it. They just think I acted in it.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

So they come up and say, oh.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, you were great in that. I didn't like the writing that much.

[Tig Notaro]

But you were whoever created that out of their mind.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, yeah. Fortune. How's filming going?

[Ad Read Voice 2]

Great.

[Fortune Feimster]

So fun.

[Mae Martin]

You're filming this week?

[Fortune Feimster]

Was filming the last couple days.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have a little time off in the next couple weeks.

[Tig Notaro]

More cartwheels.

[Mae Martin]

More cartwheels.

[Fortune Feimster]

But it's great. I love Will we. We. I. I like finished last night and. And went into his. He was getting ready. I went and sat with him and we watched the Dodgers together. So we just have a good time, you know.

[Mae Martin]

I was really embarrassed when this is related, but when. When Allison Williams on the plane came up, I was watching. She was like, what are you watching? And I was like, oh, no. Because I was watching Mr. Beast waiver. Mr. Beast, the YouTuber. It's just like, it's garbage television. But it's so interesting. He's a YouTuber and he did a thing where if a random person could hit more home runs than like a pro baseball player, they'd win like 250 grand. And I was watching this random. Actually, it was like a 10 year old.

[Tig Notaro]

And so wait, the kid won 250,000?

[Mae Martin]

I think so. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You couldn't concentrate because.

[Mae Martin]

Because an angel was crouched in the aisle.

[Tig Notaro]

Allison Williams.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I do remember your reaction to Allison asking a question on the pod. And it was one of delight.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, of course. What a delightful person.

[Tig Notaro]

Was there delight in person?

[Mae Martin]

Of course, of course.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

But I was.

[Mae Martin]

I was also really aware that on the pod I had been so giddy and she had maybe seen that. So I was like, hey, what's up?

[Fortune Feimster]

What's up? I'm just chilling.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

I really.

[Tig Notaro]

I was just thinking about you, how weird that you're here.

[Mae Martin]

I really did, though. I think we're like the same age. Like, I just. I felt a kindred spill, like we could be friends. For sure. She was funny. Really funny.

[Tig Notaro]

So you are getting a vibe from her.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, she's married.

[Mae Martin]

No, she's married. Happily married.

[Tig Notaro]

Listen, I don't know what she's up to, you know what I mean, these days.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know what she's following. Her life.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Have you heard from Drew? You left your number for Drew.

[Mae Martin]

Have not heard from Drew.

[Tig Notaro]

But were you looking for friendship there or were you. If she was like, I. Yeah, I.

[Mae Martin]

Friendship. Like, I don't know, I just was like in the days from the interview. And I thought because we were talking about the nature of reality in our brief time together, about quantum stuff. And so I was like, text me for podcast recommendations. I can send you.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, but, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, there you go, little cowboy. The world.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Should we get to our question?

[Tig Notaro]

It'd be very different if you said the oyster is your world.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is it?

[Ad Read Voice 2]

It's very different.

[Mae Martin]

The oyster is your world.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't even like oysters, so.

[Mae Martin]

Girl.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Mae Martin]

Really?

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, I don't eat them.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't. I. I've had them. But I realized that all I like is all the stuff you like, drown it in, like, the vinegar so that you don't have to taste it. Yeah, I like all the accoutrements.

[Tig Notaro]

And what about raw versus fried?

[Fortune Feimster]

I would probably like fried better, but I keep hearing all these stories lately of people eating a. A bad oyster and losing, like, a leg.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

What?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, yeah. Yeah. The ocean is heating up, and so seafood is getting more, like half dangerous down there. So. Another reason to go vegan.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because they're supposed to be. Oysters are supposed to be in cold or cold water.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you're only supposed to eat them.

[Ad Read Voice 3]

May fact.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, someone said you're not supposed to eat them when there's an ER in the month.

[Tig Notaro]

An er.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are they summer? Is it summer food?

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, what's an er?

[Fortune Feimster]

October, September.

[Tig Notaro]

Or wait, what's an ER if a month ends in er?

[Mae Martin]

Okay, so what is. So you can eat them in July, August.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hold on. I don't want to lead our people astray.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's.

[Fortune Feimster]

The saying is only eat oysters. Only eat oysters in months with. With an R. So not summer.

[Mae Martin]

I'm glad we clarified that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

And summer ends with er.

[Fortune Feimster]

However, it's saying that that is no longer the case due to.

[Tig Notaro]

Rotten oysters.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it says. It says, though the R months, September through April. Well, April doesn't end in R. Are still considered by many to be the best time for peak flavor and texture.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, should we get to our question?

[Fortune Feimster]

Historically, warmer months lead to issues with spoilage, higher bacteria levels, and so that's what it is. But people, I keep reading these things of, like, oh, this person died eating oysters. And I'm like, that's not worth it.

[Mae Martin]

No, this, like, Russian roulette.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

Gross.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, well, let's go to our question anyway.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

Oh.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, I'm excited.

[Tig Notaro]

Welcome to Seafood News.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Today's question asker. I'm a massive fan of this man. He's an actor. And comedian who starred in Search Party on HBO Max. He's appeared in movies like the Disaster.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Artist, Late Night, and Other People.

[Mae Martin]

He also stars in Eternity, a new comedy movie with Elizabeth Olsen and Miles Teller that comes out in theaters tomorrow November 26th. He's also one half of a comedy duo with Kate Berlant. They had such an amazing special on Keycock.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Go to Keycock now to see John early and Kate Berlant.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, I'm gonna stick with it live.

[Tig Notaro]

On Kee K. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

John early is asking today's question.

[Tig Notaro]

Woohoo.

[John Early]

Yeah, Hi, handsome. It's John Early. What's your favorite color?

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Seriously?

[John Early]

My. My question is this might bring up a lot.

[Mae Martin]

Okay.

[John Early]

But I think this could be a really. This could have. This could lead to a really juicy discussion. What is the quality in you that is most, like, obviously inherited from one of your parents? Like, what's. What's, like, the quality in you that you, like, received from your parents obviously against your will, that, like, the one that you're most surprised, like, at this point in your life that you have that you. That you. You know what I mean? Or I guess maybe the better question is, what's the quality? Like, what's. What's the kind of personality trait you inherited from your parents that is most upsetting?

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[John Early]

Love y'.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

All.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, it's most upsetting.

[Tig Notaro]

Most upsetting. Because I was going down other tracks. I was like, I think I have an answer here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, you were thinking positive.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was thinking positive.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, I wasn't.

[Fortune Feimster]

He is so funny, though. John does all these characters, and they're just a trip. Very out there. His mind works in a very unique way. His. I enjoy watching him.

[Mae Martin]

Have you seen his special, the characters on Netflix? Like, a bunch of people had, like, one episode to do, and I think his is flawless. It's. It's. He's one of those people who's, like, in my sort of peripheral, like, group of, like, I have so many mutual friends with him, and I'm actually, like, starstruck. But I'm like, a fan, so I. I kind of. Yeah. I like. I show people his character special. If they're at my house and we're bored, I'll be like, have you seen this? And I'll put it on.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm gonna start showing people that video of him asking us a question.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Have you seen this?

[Mae Martin]

Have you seen this? Have you seen this?

[Tig Notaro]

Have you seen this?

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Because I guess we get every. A good portion of things from our parents in those first few years and then also environment influences us as well as we go through life.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm trying to think what I got from them that I'm like, ugh.

[Tig Notaro]

The thing I was going towards was this. What I know I got from my mother, but I like it is my mother. Look, I'm not a prankster where I put a whoopee cushion under you type person. I'm not the person that's like, careful of Tig on set. You know, it's more just kind of silly pranks. I was talking about it on Good Morning America Today when I taped it. They were asking about the morning show and working with Jen and I was saying, oh yeah, I like to. When they call cut. I like handing Jen my props or whatever or I'll hand her my trash or something. When we're on set, I'll just, I'll give her like a pile of trash or my coffee cup. And you see people from, you know, the different departments. Oh, Jen, I'll take that. I'll take, you know. And she's laughing. But to me, that's very. I can feel my mother in me. My mother would do stuff like that just to get a reaction and, and that kind of prank. I've told you my mother would send water shots to strangers at bars.

[Mae Martin]

I. I didn't know. Maybe I forgot that.

[Tig Notaro]

That's genius. She would send like a round of water to strangers and they'd look over at her and be like, thank you, that's so funny. And then they'd throw back the water.

[Mae Martin]

And then would they laugh?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And they'd also be like, what a weird. They'll have that. They'll have that story forever. They'll remember that.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

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[Mae Martin]

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[Ad Read Voice 1]

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[Mae Martin]

Good set of underwear and that's why.

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[Ad Read Voice 2]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Guess what? The Tomboy X Black Friday sale is.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

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[Ad Read Voice 1]

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[Ad Read Voice 3]

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[Mae Martin]

I'm getting a jump start on getting ready for the holidays so I used.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Wayfair to get a Christmas wreath with pine cones and red berries.

[Mae Martin]

It looks so festive on my door. I'm excited about it and I also.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Picked up some old fashioned multicolored Christmas string lights that are going to look.

[Mae Martin]

Good on the tree.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Not to mention I got fast and.

[Mae Martin]

Free shipping on all my items.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Wayfair has a huge selection of home goods and furniture with something for every style. This holiday season I'm recommending Wayfair to everyone.

[Ad Read Voice 3]

May this is wonderful so don't miss out on early Black Friday deals. Head to Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair's Black Friday deals for up to 70% off. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

[Tig Notaro]

Sale ends December 7th. So I always loved that side of my mother where she just. She would also call restaurants from the restaurant and check in on her waiter.

[Mae Martin]

No. And be like, just checking where my waiter is.

[Tig Notaro]

She's like, oh, yeah, we ordered dinner. We're just back here in the corner table. We're just wondering. Not, like to get anyone in trouble. Just. She did it in a way that was fun and funny.

[Mae Martin]

That's really good.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. So that's in me. I can feel it. But I like it.

[Fortune Feimster]

The playfulness.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. Silly little pranks.

[Mae Martin]

Your tidbits, too, and your commitment to them.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, my mother committed.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

My mother would also. She would. When I'd have friends come over, she would dye food colors. Like, she would cook mashed potatoes and dye them blue.

[Mae Martin]

My dad used that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Since she would want. Yeah, she.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

She.

[Tig Notaro]

She loved the reaction.

[Fortune Feimster]

The.

[Tig Notaro]

That awkward thing of somebody, of course, not wanting to speak up, but wanting to speak up because their mashed potatoes are blue. Because she'd be like, tig, don't. Don't say anything to your friend. I'm dying all the mashed potatoes blue. I'd be like, all right.

[Mae Martin]

You're like, okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I never met my grandfather, but my. My dad's dad. But he apparently was.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

He.

[Mae Martin]

He had a bit. He was. He would mainly sort of sit with a whiskey and a cigarette on the couch, you know, for hours at a time. And he would call up the BBC, this is in England, and complain if there was any swearing. And he'd say. He'd say that, like, I fought for this country, and this is abominable. And, like, you did. He was in the war, but he was. He was just doing it to make the people around him laugh. That's great character. Fortune, what about you?

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, positive things. I. My mom's very book smart, so I feel like I got some of that from her. And my dad's more street smart, and I think I got a little bit of that from him. So, like, kind of a combo of the two.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley.

[Tig Notaro]

That's how I met Fortune was in a dark alley.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Ad Read Voice 3]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

It worked out.

[Fortune Feimster]

And look at us now. Gosh. I'm like. I'm pretty different from my family other than, like. I mean, my parents, other than like, my. My mom's pretty positive. Like, you know, just seeing her go through this cancer situation, she's keeps getting bad news lately and still is very positive. So I feel like I. I got that. Which I appreciate.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Which is I. It's nice to see my mom in that place because there was. In the past, there was a. Sometimes my mom had a tendency to feel sorry for herself in hard times, and I. I did not get that trait. And I always wanted my mom to. To not go to that place. And it's been. If there is a positive to come from her situation right now, I think she has surprised her, even herself, at the resilience she's shown in it. There will be moments of feeling sorry for herself, but not in the wallowing way that she had done in the past. She's definitely been rising to the resilience stage of this journey.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

That's.

[Tig Notaro]

That's incredible.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm proud of her for that. My. I. I would say I get probably. I get a little defensive. My. My dad. I think we. I have a little bit of, like, we don't want to get in trouble. That there. I have realized that there are. I have experienced people in my life that. Where I feel reprimanded sometimes, and. And I. That defensive thing kicks in where I am just like, I'm not trying to, like, defend myself, but there's something that triggers there that I'm just like, I didn't do anything. Yeah. What? What? What? You know, like a child. And I get a little bit of that from my dad. Like, why are you. What. You know, and it's interesting as an adult to, like, see that quality in yourself where you're just like, ah, I want to work on that.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because if you did, you know, I didn't do anything, but I don't need to defend that.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Just.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, just like.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Be an adult about it.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I turn into like.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, people. I think that's pretty common on some level where, you know. But I get what you're saying. Like. Yeah. You want to handle it differently or.

[Ad Read Voice 3]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's like when you feel like you've been reprimanded and you're an adult, it makes you feel like a child.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

So then my response becomes childlike.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

And then.

[Mae Martin]

And then you lose credibility. It's like, exactly. Like the coolest, most Zen thing to do is be like, oh, that's your experience.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. You know. Yeah. Like, just. Just having the. The, like, wherewithal to Know I didn't do that. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Like, I don't, I don't need to.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't have to be like, oh.

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't know you were doing that. That is something to work on.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I think I got that from my dad.

[Tig Notaro]

I'd love to see you and your dad in a defensive argument.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Just back and forth because he, because.

[Fortune Feimster]

He was married to my mom, who is a strong woman, and he would, I could, he would feel reprimanded.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

By the way they, their dynamic was. And, and I saw a little. I saw a bit of that in myself and I was like, oh, interesting.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I think from. I, I think of a lot of positive things too, for sure, but then negative, I think like a general sense of dread. Like a sort of. Like at any minute something could go wrong and there's, there's like a physical tension in my family. Maybe like, like, like that we're not even aware we're doing as a family. Just like we're holding our fists tight and we're like, we forget to take a deep breath and we all like, as a family should be doing primal screaming kind of in the desert. So maybe that. But then.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Tons of positive stuff. Well, they're very in clever, my parents, so that I think I'm quite in my head. Like we're a very thinky family and not very connected to our bodies sometimes. Like we're all up in our heads. So that's maybe.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I wonder if they were listening to this. They'd be like, we're doing yoga every night. What are you talking about? I mean, they do. Yeah. Like they are.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're very mindful.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Doing primal screams during yoga.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Mae Martin]

They're like every night we scream and stretch. So.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

But I do feel. I. I kind of only feel relaxed during a massage and. Or during sex sometimes because it's like it gets me out of my head. But in, in a massage I can go instantly to like a deep state of relaxation and. I know, I know. My, my parents are like that too. It's like they're walking around like this and then you just.

[Tig Notaro]

Then they have sex.

[Mae Martin]

I don't know about that. I don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I do. That's how you got here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh my God. No.

[Mae Martin]

Like the minute they. Tig Marie get a massage. That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

I said sex.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, you did.

[Mae Martin]

S E X.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wasn't me this time.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Why aren't there three X's on the end of sex?

[Mae Martin]

Great question.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you.

[Mae Martin]

And where did that come from the, like triple X?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know. But if you're going to use that, throw it on the end of sex. God, I can't believe I just saw that. It's just been sitting there for years.

[Mae Martin]

That's your closer in your new hour.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Which is what your new hour is called. Not my best.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not my best.

[Tig Notaro]

You know what I have to say, like, aside from my mother's pranks, I was raised by my stepfather from the time I was 2 and he was very. Things had to be a certain way and there wasn't a lot of leeway with like, even when I was little, you know, And I'm so thankful that I married Stephanie and that we can parent together because I feel like she just out of the gate, did things so differently. And I often reflect on how I would have been as a parent if I was just doing it by myself. I probably would have been a little more rigid about things, you know, that's.

[Mae Martin]

So good that you balance each other.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And I just, I feel like, I feel like I kind of go through life watching her parent and go, oh, right, that's. That's how it should be done. Right? That's.

[Mae Martin]

That's the best compliment.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Well, you guys just had your 10 year anniversary.

[Fortune Feimster]

We did.

[Tig Notaro]

We just, we hit our 10 year wedding anniversary and. And we never seem to be able to line up being together on our wedding anniversary or on Valentine's Day. But. But yeah, we always send each other flowers with like, here's. We always, you know, 10 years of pure hell. I'm looking forward to a lifetime of it. I love you so very much. That's what came with my flowers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Aww.

[Tig Notaro]

But anyway, yeah, I'm just, I feel very thankful that like, when I watch her and how she kind of effortlessly and.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, because you think he would have absorbed that from your stepdad?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I think I would have been a little more. Not exactly like him, of course, but I think I would have just been like, oh, it has to be done this way or it has to be by this time or it has to. You have to keep this particular schedule or routine or, you know, but like kind of letting go is. It's such a better feeling.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Such a better feeling of being like, yeah, what. What is reasonable in this moment? And actually, does it have to be that black and white or.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I think if, if I raise a kid, I, I need to be with someone who's relaxed because I find like, it's the safety thing for me, like yeah. I'm like, if this kid gets hurt on my watch, like, you know, like. And it makes me neurotic. But to be with someone who's like, they know their own bodies. They can, you know, I mean, just to have the balance, I think, because I don't know how people do it, to be honest. A kid climbs a tree. I'm like, get me to the hospital. Get me to the hospital.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I think I would worry too. Yeah. I mean, look, we. Our house is all about safety. And I. And again, Stephanie leading the way in that I would have. You know, there's the side of me that is a little casual in that. Oh, yeah. I grew up in the back of pickup trucks and what? And swimming in swamps and water skiing in swamps.

[John Early]

And.

[Tig Notaro]

Whereas Stephanie is like, yeah, let's reel that in.

[Mae Martin]

Let's not throw them in the swamp.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Whereas she doesn't have. There's not a casualness around safety or anything like that. It's more just like bedtime or when to turn the TV off. Like, you know, she's. She's very much like, well, when does the show end? Well, in ten minutes. Okay, well, when that wraps up, then we'll turn the TV off. It's not like it's 8 o', clock, the TV goes off, we go to bed. You know, it's. It's. It's just nice. It's. It feels more flowing and nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's good.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like that. Oh, I did real. I did realize this is not like a personality trait, but I do lock the doors all the time because of my mom. Oh.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Like, she was like, when you're in a locker.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, interesting.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everything was like. It was like Fort Knox. I don't like that too. There's. There's not one door that's left or a window open.

[Tig Notaro]

I am always like, click, click, click. That's my stepfather, too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mm.

[Mae Martin]

Really?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah. I mean, you're gonna think I'm kidding. I almost can't even say it. This man was a robot. Okay.

[Mae Martin]

He.

[Tig Notaro]

He one time locked me out of the house when I was going to get the mail.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Just.

[Tig Notaro]

I was like, yeah. And he said, well, you should bring a key with you. I was like, I went to get the.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, it's. Yeah. So it's probably a little different than fort locks over there.

[Fortune Feimster]

But.

[Tig Notaro]

But we were on full on lockdown at my house.

[Mae Martin]

Our house was unlocked. It was Toronto. And like, ever.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

No one locked their doors.

[Mae Martin]

I remember the. Do you remember that Michael Moore Documentary. But yeah, Bowling for Columbine came out and he. He tested the theory that in Canada, nobody locks their doors. And it was true. And yeah, my parents door was always open. But then I remember the time that that woman came into our house and took a nap in their bed, and I'm like, goldilocks. It sounds like it.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, change them.

[Mae Martin]

I told that story on the pod once. It like, a stranger came and took a nap. Who'd you inherit those beautiful curls from? Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, fortune. Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, not.

[Tig Notaro]

Not Tigs curls.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. Maybe my grandfather. My mom said he might have. I mean, he. It was straight, but when he was born, his hair was curly, but nobody else had like a big curly head like mine.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow. Oh, Curly head.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Curly head. That's my nickname. Old curly head.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, Curly head, Dumpster tits and little cowboy. All right, let's hear John's answer.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[John Early]

Oh, I didn't realize I had to answer the question too. And now my coward ass doesn't want to answer it. So I feel. I feel bad about. It's like. It's like more provocative and like, exposing than I even really realized when I was asking. And I have to be real, but I have backed myself into a corner here. So here we go. And I say this, and I encourage you to do the same. I say this with so much love and compassion for my parents. You obviously don't have to feel the same way for your parents. I. I would say, okay, so, you know, my. My parents are Southern. They're. They're both. They were at one point kind of ministers, Presbyterian ministers. So there's a kind of like. I would say there's like, it's. There's almost a pathological hosting quality, like a need to host that comes. A need to host and be friendly that comes from such a good place of, like, wanting people to feel. To feel good. But it's kind of me potentially. It's not just them, but it's like, maybe turned me into a kind of hawkeyed, oppressive host that I almost, like, you know, out of love, I almost. Almost kind of strangle my guest to death like, like of Mice and Men style. You know, I. You know, and then I would also say, like, my dad's one of the funniest people on earth, and. And I've inherited his kind of the. The way that funny. Disarm. Disarm people and make people feel good, but also like it. You know, it's also a way to avoid conflict. As. As I know everyone on this podcast Knows. Okay. Was that too tame? I'm hoping to. I'm hoping to arouse something kind of juicier in Yalls responses. I'm sorry if I took the. The coward's path here but. But I love y'.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

All.

[Tig Notaro]

I honestly thought he was gonna get to the end and be like talk about how he inherited the quality of rambling on. I was like, that's what's coming. That's what's coming. But that was a good answer.

[Mae Martin]

I love that I'm obsessed with the phrase a hawk eyed oppressive host is.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know that.

[Tig Notaro]

Funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

So funny. That did make me realize that I over explained things. I think I got that from my mom.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. He talks a lot about or. I think I've seen him do stuff. Him and Kate Berlant were on Jimmy Fallon, I think and they were talking. Talking about that Southern tension in the face of every muscle in the face when you relax at the. Very funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

He's just one of those people that's just funny to listen to. No matter what happens. Well, this week is Thanksgiving. It's in a couple days. So this question does make me. When I'm around, both my parents want to sort of study to see if there are other things that I have taken away from. From their habits as well.

[Tig Notaro]

And do you all get together including your dad and brothers?

[Fortune Feimster]

This year we are. I rented a house just, you know, again with my mom's situation. I want to take these times when everyone can be together to make the most of that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And have, you know, these share some cool moments together. So we're all going to come and stay in this house together and.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Eat and do all of that.

[Tig Notaro]

And is that going to be in Belmont or nearby?

[Fortune Feimster]

That will be in Belmont. Yeah. I have a show in Charlotte Friday night and so all my nephews will be there and. And all. Yeah, everybody. It's gonna.

[Tig Notaro]

We'll be at your show or at the.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, all this stuff. Yeah, we're making a weekend of it. We're gonna eat the Thanksgiving, go to my show in Charlotte and then I think we're gonna go all go see Zootopia too.

[Mae Martin]

Oh my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

It comes out this weekend as well.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are y' all doing stuff for Thanksgiving? I know Mace Canadian, but Canadian.

[Mae Martin]

But I'll be thinking about gratitude for sure. That's one of the things that I took from that therapy retreat was like really? I actively practicing gratitude, thinking every day about all the things I'm grateful for. It seems so wishy washy and basic, but I think it's kind of a game changer just to. Before bed and in the morning, think about all the things you're grateful for.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, yeah. And to go back to Andrea's poem, tincture.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, to me, that really conjures up so much gratitude in my heart.

[Mae Martin]

Grateful for the good, grateful for the.

[Tig Notaro]

Bad, grateful for everything.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I really do. As I said on the show, when I'm feeling cold, I think, man, Andrea would give anything to feel cold again. You know, those little things.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

That it's every part of the human experience. It adds to their richness.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

It feels like this Thanksgiving will be a more reflective time for all of us for different reasons. And it definitely is a time where I think the gratitude is high.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And. And just. I think we're all more aware of it right now than usual.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, of course.

[Mae Martin]

Big time. Do you ever play that heads up with your family, or do you play games?

[Tig Notaro]

I hate games.

[Mae Martin]

Okay. Oh, yeah, I forgot that you hate. See, see? Was that your stepfather coming out?

[Tig Notaro]

I. I think my. My mother hated games more than, like, just like. Like, just put, like, cards, like, shuffle, and then this is your dice, and then blah, blah, blah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's such a funny dichotomy, don't you think, that, like, playful pranker. That's, like, there's rules.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, like, you have to take turns, and then you roll the dice, and then you move the thing, and then you pass go, and then you have to sit out for this one, and then you did it, and it's like, who cares? Put it away and let's have a conversation.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hilarious. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I hate games.

[Fortune Feimster]

Put it away. Let's look each other in the eye and connect.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Let's talk.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, man.

[Mae Martin]

See, that's my nightma nightmare. I love a game.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, God, I know you do. I think we're.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're not like a game family, but we have played games.

[Tig Notaro]

Psychological games.

[Fortune Feimster]

That too. We have mind each other gaslit.

[Tig Notaro]

See, I'd rather you play a mind game with me than roll dice and move pieces and pass go.

[Fortune Feimster]

And. No, like, occasionally someone's like, I've heard of this game.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

Let's try it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm like, oh, okay. Like, we're kind of like. We go with the flow.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

We're our.

[Fortune Feimster]

My family's eaters. We're just eating the whole time. We're like that. We're at, like, Thanksgiving, the Thanksgiving meal, talking about what we're gonna eat for dinner the next night. Like, right.

[Tig Notaro]

You play Spin the pie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we're just like, everything is like. And then our day, we'll eat leftovers tomorrow and then we'll go out for this and then we'll make this.

[Tig Notaro]

I love leftovers.

[Mae Martin]

That's nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I think I'm going to be filming. I think I'll be in my space suit on Thanksgiving.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Because my family might fly out and spend it with me, but who knows? Cute, cute, cute.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I love it.

[Mae Martin]

I love you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love you too.

[Tig Notaro]

I also love that I have a stand up tour starting, you guys. It's called the. I didn't go with the what was the best? Oh, that is a good title. No, this one is called. This tour is called out of Nowhere. So go to tignotaro.com and get your tickets for the out of Nowhere tour, which this material came from. Which everything comes from out of nowhere. And also Come See me in the Good Light is available on Apple TV now. And that is the Andrea Gibson and Meg Fali documentary that I produced. And Starfleet Academy will be starting in January. So that's what I've got going on.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm in Charlotte, North Carolina this Friday. And then in December I'll be in St. Petersburg, Florida and Orlando, Florida, then finishing the year off in Norfolk, Virginia, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, and then New Year's Eve in Seattle and then right after that, New Orleans, Mobile and Atlanta.

[Tig Notaro]

Lovely, lovely.

[Mae Martin]

And I'm kicking off my first North American tour end of February. And so those tickets are still on sale 35 cities. And check it out. I think it's maymartin.net yeah, and I'm always in LA doing shows as well. And check out Wayward on Netflix.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, let's get the. Let's get it up to a trillion views. Also go to handsomepod.com for all merchandise and share an episode if you enjoy it. Enjoy the show. Let's build this handsome community.

[Mae Martin]

Yes, please.

[Tig Notaro]

And yeah, it's a really fun little group of people on this planet that follow the show. Make sure you. Speaking of following, follow us, subscribe, rate, review, and until next time, keep it handsome.

[Ad Read Voice 3]

Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin and Fortune Theme steer. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast.

[Mae Martin]

What a podcast. That was a hitgam podcast.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

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[Mae Martin]

Not checking that you have enough pet.

[Ad Read Voice 1]

Food for your furry friend. The pet store is closed, so it looks like the dog is going to.

[Mae Martin]

Share your dinner tonight. They don't seem too upset about it.

[Ad Read Voice 2]

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[Lamorne Morris]

What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris and Hannah Simone, and we host the Mess Around a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl. And we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

[Tig Notaro]

That's not true. We talk about so many memories we.

[Mae Martin]

Have of working with the biggest star on the planet. I'm talking Prince Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

[Lamorne Morris]

We're just two BFFs having a good old time. Okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Waynes Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

[Mae Martin]

Make sure you subscribe to the Mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.