John Stamos asks about first concerts

Summary

Handsome: John Stamos Asks About First Concerts

Podcast: Handsome | Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin | Episode: John Stamos asks about first concerts
Release Date: May 26, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Handsome" features comedians Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster fielding a question from John Stamos: What was the very first concert you ever went to? What follows is a lively, nostalgic, and often hilarious roundtable about the hosts' early live music experiences—including emotional confessions, surprise celebrity intersections, and their shared love for the spectacle of concerts.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Warm-Up & Gift Exchange (03:58–15:34)

• The hosts open gifts from fans, leading to playful banter about Wyoming hoodies, vintage cufflinks, quirky keychains, a plastic corn cob (mistaken briefly for a dildo), and other offbeat tokens.
• Tig recounts crashing a wedding in Austin and leaving a brick as a "gift" (06:17):

  "We wrapped a box that had a brick in it... we went and put the gift on the table and then went and helped ourselves to the food and drink." – Tig Notaro (06:47)

• Discussion wanders into horse therapy and their own self-healing quirks:

  "You lie there and then the horses, like, smell your trauma or something, and they come up and they put their big old noses on you." – Mae Martin (02:19)

2. Odd Facts, Classic Candy & Snack Debates (18:08–26:11)

• Mae shares useless facts from a fan’s book, including odd Disney trivia (18:41):

  “Peter Pan and 101 Dalmatians are the only two classic Disney cartoon series where both parents are present and don’t die in the movie.” – Mae Martin (18:41)

• The group debates Oreos and vegan snack foods:

  "People confuse veganism with like no sugar or only healthy." – Tig Notaro (25:35)

3. Fortune’s Fishing Trip Adventure (26:11–38:40)

• Fortune shares her experience on a fishing trip in the Niagara/Buffalo area, catching and releasing fish alongside her brother, nephew, and friends:

  "We were on the river, so it was calm and really pretty... and then the next day... we were just like, for 40 minutes out to where we were going. So I was like holding on for dear life." – Fortune Feimster (31:14)

• They riff on the oddity of cars (“little piggies on the road,” 21:41) and their grandmother’s language about “automobiles” and “homosexuals.”

4. The John Stamos Question – First Concerts (39:19–63:26)

John Stamos’ Cameo (41:38)

• Stamos delivers a voicemail-style question:

  “What was the very first concert that you ever went to?” – John Stamos (41:38)

• The group unpacks Stamos’s own connection to the Beach Boys and Full House lore, with Fortune openly gushing:

  “I love me some Uncle Jesse... Very handsome and very charming.” – Fortune Feimster (40:25)

Each Host’s First Concert

• Fortune:
  • The Beach Boys (accompanied by her parents, remembers shorts and T-shirts, 42:18)
  • Follow-up: Meatloaf concert, then (later) New Kids on the Block (45:56)
  • On concerts: “Cried like a baby.” (45:57)
• Mae:
  • 98 Degrees (with Jessica Simpson opening) at age 11, without parents (44:43).
  • Second concert: Alanis Morissette, resulting in tears both times.

    “All I remember is they came out on stage... and I burst into tears.” – Mae Martin (45:26)

• Tig:
  • Sammy Hagar’s “I Can’t Drive 55” tour at age 12, with friend Chris Harriman (48:27)

    “My mother dropped me and my friend Chris Harriman off at the concert. And... we should take off our necklaces in case somebody pulls them… a concert was just like mayhem.” – Tig Notaro (49:17)

Reflections on Concert Experiences

• Nostalgia for live music’s ritual—lights dimming, first song entrance, and being swept up in the spectacle (50:19):

  “When you have that moment where the lights go dark and people start going nuts, and then whatever that performer has chosen to make their first moment is like, yes.” – Mae Martin

• Personal favorites include Pretenders, Elton John, Alanis Morissette, Celine Dion, and more.
• Fortune on Celine Dion:

  “That concert blew my tits off.” – Fortune Feimster (58:28)

John Stamos’ Own First Concert (62:24)

• John shares that his first was also the Beach Boys at the Universal Amphitheater, with a story about wishing he'd be called up to play drums due to a band mishap—a prophecy that came true decades later.

  “I remember sitting there thinking, like, oh my God, I wish Mike Love would come out and say, our drummer tonight... can anybody play? And I’d be like, me, me, me... years later, I told Mike that story...” – John Stamos (62:24)

5. Finale: Banter About Banter, Touring, and Music’s Power (55:31–66:42)

• The hosts reflect on the difference between standup and musician “banter” at shows, with self-effacing stories about performing.
• Final discussions of favorite venues (Greek Theatre, Red Rocks, Hollywood Bowl).

  “There’s something about outside where it’s a little more intimate. The sound’s really amazing. I’ve never been to Red Rocks—I’d still die.” – Fortune Feimster (54:33)

• Fortune shares the magic of seeing Celine Dion live and her passion for concert experiences.

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Notable Quotes

• Mae Martin (on horse therapy):

  “When you look into the eye of a horse, you’re looking at the parts of yourself that you’re too afraid to heal.” (02:19)

• Tig Notaro (on early concerts):

  “In our minds, like, a concert was just like mayhem.” (49:30)

• Fortune Feimster (on Celine Dion):

  “That concert blew my tits off.” (58:28)

• John Stamos (on the Beach Boys):

  “Beach Boys have become part of my DNA, I always say.” (62:24)

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Timestamps: Important Segments

• [03:58] – Start of gift/merch exchange and opening stories
• [18:41] – Mae’s Disney parent fact, discussion about snacks/vegan food
• [26:11] – Fortune's fishing trip and musings about cars
• [39:19] – Introduction of John Stamos’ question and Full House nostalgia
• [41:38] – John Stamos asks: "What was your first concert?"
• [42:00–50:00] – Hosts share concert stories: Beach Boys, Meatloaf, 98 Degrees, Alanis, Sammy Hagar
• [55:31] – Reflections on performing music versus stand-up, banter discussion
• [58:28] – Fortune on Celine Dion: “That concert blew my tits off.”
• [62:24] – John Stamos describes his first Beach Boys concert and his “me, me, me” would-be drummer story

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Memorable Moments

• Tig and her ex crashing a wedding with a box containing a brick: a comedic caper (06:47).
• The “little piggies” car analogy and musings about driving alone (21:41).
• Spirited, vulnerable admissions of crying at first concerts due to overwhelming emotion (45:26, 46:01).
• Fortune’s description of Celine Dion’s show as literally “blowing her tits off” (58:28), leading to a comic conversation about dramatic concert effects.
• John Stamos’s full-circle revelation: from wishing to play drums for the Beach Boys, to actually doing it (62:24).

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Tone & Style

The episode is lighthearted, fast-paced, and candid, blending deep nostalgia with the hosts’ trademark absurdity and improvisational riffs. Personal stories, playful teasing, and affectionate artistic insights all intertwine. There is an inclusive, celebratory tone around fandom, crying at concerts, and the magic of live performance.

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For Fans & New Listeners

This episode offers a generous glimpse of the hosts’ personalities, their musical pasts, and the everyday quirks that make "Handsome" such an engaging listen. The question from John Stamos acts as a catalyst for personal storytelling, vulnerability, and deep laughter—a perfect intro for first-time listeners or devoted fans.

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Next episode tease: They joke about getting a question from Taylor Swift—so stay tuned!

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End note:
To catch future episodes early, find "Handsome" on Hulu.
Connect: @handsomepod on socials.
Share, rate, and review—"Help us build this very handsome community!"

Transcript

[Mae Martin]

This is a headgum podcast.

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[Mae Martin]

Hey, Handsomes. Big announcement. Just in time for Pride Month and the start of summer. We got some amazing new merch.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right. We've got a handsome tank top, handsome tie dye, a new handsome hat, and even a gorgeous new handsome bandana. So go to handsomepod.com and get you

[Ad Read Voice]

some

[Fortune Feimster]

chatting with friends on the handsome pod.

[Mae Martin]

Chatting with friends on the handsome pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cheers.

[Mae Martin]

Welcome to the handsome pod. I'm Mae Martin.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm Tig Notaro.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm Fortunate Feapster.

[Tig Notaro]

And you are listening and watching maybe the handsome pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Today we're in the Good Hands Studio, presented by. By all state.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, we are.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we sure are. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

We appreciate them supporting our pod, and

[Tig Notaro]

we appreciate all of our listeners and watchers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you guys for tuning in.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, you might be able to tell we're all delighted to be here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, we are.

[Tig Notaro]

We sure are. Little cowboy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Some Canadian tuxedos.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And what do you have? Boom.

[Mae Martin]

Rocking a Wyoming hoodie. I don't.

[Fortune Feimster]

Little cowboy hoodie. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Where'd you get it?

[Mae Martin]

You want to check for me?

[Tig Notaro]

No. No. Is it.

[Mae Martin]

I think it might be cherry. Los Angeles.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Mae Martin]

I think.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess I just met. Where did you get it?

[Fortune Feimster]

It looks cozy.

[Mae Martin]

Online.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Not in Wyoming. Never been there.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, you've never been?

[Mae Martin]

Never been.

[Fortune Feimster]

Actually, I've never been to Wyoming either.

[Tig Notaro]

Two against one.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I've been to most of the states. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

What's Wyoming known for?

[Tig Notaro]

That.

[Fortune Feimster]

This.

[Tig Notaro]

Horsies. Horsies and cowboys.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cowboys.

[Mae Martin]

I have a lot of friends getting into horse therapy, where you go and the horses breathe on you. They. You lie there and then the horses, like, smell your trauma or something, and they come up and they put their big old noses on you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know about that.

[Tig Notaro]

Big old horse snout.

[Mae Martin]

Their big old horse snail. Big old horse snail and just go like. And then you go, that's better.

[Fortune Feimster]

A boy.

[Tig Notaro]

We are really looking to heal ourselves, aren't we?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah. You guys are searching right now.

[Mae Martin]

Maybe a horse.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, maybe if a horse breathes on me with their messy little snout.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Then it'll all be okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

It'll be fun.

[Mae Martin]

I have a bit in my show that's, like, about a meme I saw that's, like, when you look into. It's a photo of a horse's eye. And it said, when you look into the eye of a horse, you're looking at the parts of yourself that you're too afraid to heal. And I kind of make fun of it. And then at the meet and greet, this woman was like, no, you are. That is true. And she said, I have a horse therapy farm and you're invited. And I have seven horses and you will heal your inner child by looking in their eyes. And listen. I don't doubt it. Listen sorry to the horse community.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And what is the saying? Like, don't look a gift horse in the eye.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

So there's that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it in the mouth?

[Mae Martin]

Don't. Oh, in the mouth.

[Tig Notaro]

In the mouth. Yeah. Well, you know, I'm not a perfect person.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not a perfect person. I haven't thought about that song forever.

[Mae Martin]

And funny that all three of us know that one.

[Fortune Feimster]

Guys. 3 on 3.

[Mae Martin]

3 on 3.

[Tig Notaro]

Is that the first time? Also, it sounds a lot sexier than it is.

[Mae Martin]

Three on three on three,

[Tig Notaro]

guys.

[Mae Martin]

I am excited because before we came to record, Thomas reminded me that I had said that because people have been bringing me things on tour, little trinkets and gifts, and Thomas was like, don't forget to bring some stuff. And so I manically started ripping open these. There's. I have 12 boxes of stuff.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[Mae Martin]

So I. I couldn't bring it all, but I brought stuff that's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, we wanted it all.

[Mae Martin]

I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm kidding.

[Mae Martin]

I do need help going through it. But I brought stuff that relates to us, the three of us. Or I don't even know what I brought, actually.

[Fortune Feimster]

But let's see. Two things as well.

[Tig Notaro]

It's okay if mostly none of them are for me.

[Mae Martin]

No, they are.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, thank you, Thomas. I also, a lovely fan, brought some. No, actually, Fizz fan sent these to my mom for you guys and one for me as well.

[Mae Martin]

No way.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, so I'll hand that out.

[Mae Martin]

So this is. So I've been handed some beautiful cufflinks that say District A, Ontario, Canada. That's where I'm from.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Open it now.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my gosh.

[Fortune Feimster]

Those look cool.

[Mae Martin]

Maybe this person makes cufflinks and this.

[Fortune Feimster]

And this is some kind of jewel keychain that Tig has an emerald looking jewel.

[Mae Martin]

Did you get an emerald?

[Tig Notaro]

Maybe.

[Fortune Feimster]

Was there a note?

[Tig Notaro]

Tig, Exo.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait. I don't know who it's from.

[Mae Martin]

Angela.

[Tig Notaro]

Angela.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, it's from Angela. Thank you. Angela.

[Tig Notaro]

Angela. How did you know you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I could see you wearing those cufflinks.

[Mae Martin]

I. I honestly would.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah. Those are cool.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is it?

[Tig Notaro]

It's this.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, but it's a keychain.

[Mae Martin]

It's a hair clip.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a hair clip keychain. That's right.

[Mae Martin]

Tiga's put it in her hair.

[Fortune Feimster]

I got one something too, but I forgot to bring it in. Go to Hulu. Go to Hulu.

[Mae Martin]

That is really well chosen for you. That is beautiful.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, how would you not think. I gotta get this for Tig.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's definitely Tig coated.

[Tig Notaro]

A hair clip keychain.

[Mae Martin]

Do you think these are vintage things?

[Fortune Feimster]

They look vintage. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

These really?

[Tig Notaro]

It doesn't look brand new. Plasticky.

[Mae Martin]

I'm going to a wedding soon of people I've never met.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, they know you're coming.

[Mae Martin]

They know I'm coming, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cause that's in the shape of a splash.

[Tig Notaro]

Can I tell you, those are the

[Fortune Feimster]

shape of a maple leaf, Right?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. These are Canadian cufflinks.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I went to. I know. On a previous episode. Why are you laughing at.

[Fortune Feimster]

Leave that in your hair.

[Tig Notaro]

Why not?

[Mae Martin]

Because the little dangling Angela didn't want.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, but on a previous episode, I talked about my ex who wrote the song Kevin's in Heaven.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, she and I went to a wedding when we lived in Austin and we were not invited. We crashed the wedding.

[Mae Martin]

Was it someone you knew? Oh, my God. Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

And we wrapped a box that had a brick in it. And we got dressed up and we went and put the. It was at a hotel in downtown Austin. We put the gift on the table and then went and helped ourselves to

[Fortune Feimster]

the food and drink.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, but the whole time we were terrified. Like, we didn't execute it perfectly. Did I also tell you, when I lived in Austin, we set up a drum set and played French horn in

[Fortune Feimster]

the middle of a golf course.

[Tig Notaro]

That's the same one. Oh, my goodness. But anyway, so we dropped off the wrapped brick that was in a box.

[Fortune Feimster]

Seems like a hate crime.

[Tig Notaro]

And we wandered around very awkwardly, like, oh, my God. Do you think they know? They have to know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anyone talk to me?

[Tig Notaro]

Nobody said anything.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have to.

[Tig Notaro]

I have to ask her. I don't remember anybody saying, I Think we chickened out after a while and we left. But it was so worth it. But we weren't as cool as we thought we were gonna be.

[Fortune Feimster]

Favorite party. Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, just like that, we would, like, hang out and just have a funny, fun story, but the only fun part of it is we dropped a brick off and ate some food and ran out.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have couples watching right now. Oh, my God. That's where that brick came from.

[Mae Martin]

Somewhere there's a couple. Yeah. Who's. Maybe they have, like, we gave them a. Yeah. But maybe they were like, oh, that was definitely from our cousin or one of their exes.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Mystery.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why are you going to a wedding where you don't know the people? Are you a plus one?

[Mae Martin]

I'm a plus one. Yeah. But I'm. I'm punished.

[Tig Notaro]

You should bring a brick.

[Mae Martin]

I'll bring a brick. The brick is crazy. That's another level of a prank that's, like, to wrap the brick. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know why we. Why didn't we just get them, like, a dish or something?

[Mae Martin]

Right?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

That's the least we could have done.

[Fortune Feimster]

A brick seems very random.

[Tig Notaro]

Or we could have set up our band that we set up in the golf course.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just be the wedding band. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

We could have just brought the drum set and the French horn and been like, yeah, rock it.

[Mae Martin]

That's all you need musically. The drums and the French horn together. No rhythm guitar.

[Tig Notaro]

Keep in mind, we set that up in the middle of a golf course in the middle of the night. So people were hearing drums and French horn, and nobody knew.

[Fortune Feimster]

Those are two things you don't want to hear in the day. Together.

[Tig Notaro]

How dare you. Together.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're all separate.

[Tig Notaro]

It was a grand old time.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. The French horn is the only. I only know it from that song for no One by the Beatles. It has the French horn solo. That's the only French horn I know.

[Tig Notaro]

It's like, while my ex plays it.

[Mae Martin]

Okay. Amazing.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right, what's in the box?

[Mae Martin]

So, first of all, I'm going to show you this. This is for me. But you guys, I hope, will recognize what this is.

[Fortune Feimster]

I see.

[Tig Notaro]

You don't have to pull everything out and say, this is for me.

[Mae Martin]

This is for me.

[Fortune Feimster]

What if everything is for me, and we're just.

[Tig Notaro]

Now, this is for me.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is for me, not you guys.

[Mae Martin]

Okay, so I'm holding up a. A framed piece of art that someone gave me, and.

[Tig Notaro]

Is it us?

[Mae Martin]

It's actually Frau Trofia.

[Tig Notaro]

I should have known that.

[Mae Martin]

Frau Trophia. And starting the dance play.

[Fortune Feimster]

And people are. I love looking like they're about to die.

[Mae Martin]

The townspeople are freaking out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dance till you die.

[Mae Martin]

Dance until you die.

[Tig Notaro]

How did that merch do?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

Brown Troffea.

[Mae Martin]

I haven't seen that one around as much.

[Fortune Feimster]

I gotta say, sometimes, every now and then, one of y' all will write about a merch item, and I'm like, that is so niche. Brow Trophia.

[Tig Notaro]

We got a dance academy.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm like, we can put it out there. Let's try.

[Tig Notaro]

I want one of those still. That's a good, good shirt. I stand by it.

[Mae Martin]

I'm just realizing that the one. The main thing I wanted to bring, I forgot to bring.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh.

[Ad Read Voice]

What was it?

[Mae Martin]

It was. Someone made all three of us, and. But they're little birds and they're. And they have our hair.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't believe the next one you can show us.

[Mae Martin]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

There's more time. This isn't our last one, unless a tragedy passed.

[Fortune Feimster]

A couple Aprils now.

[Mae Martin]

Okay. This simply says, for Tig and Fortune, keep it Handsome with love from Minnesota. There's two books in here that I can feel, but I don't know what they are. You want to open it?

[Fortune Feimster]

Sure. It's like Christmas. Oh, my gosh.

[Mae Martin]

For Taken Fortune. That's from someone in Minnesota.

[Tig Notaro]

I really love the Frau Trafia.

[Mae Martin]

Isn't it good? I'm gonna put it up in my house. I really love it.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I know it's yours.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. And I can't remember the name of the person who did this. It's mine, by the way.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right, let's see what we got here. Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

What is it?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a book.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Called Breaking up with the Patriarchy.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, May, this makes me nervous that you're gonna get out and step on breaking up with the patriarch.

[Fortune Feimster]

I meant to pick for me, and I didn't even look inside it.

[Mae Martin]

Wait, it's really funny that those are just for you two and I didn't get one.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know.

[Mae Martin]

Is it because she maybe love the.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, because you are the patriarchy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you the patriarchy?

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God. And they want you to break up with me.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, so. Dear Tig, you are. You are a star shining your beautiful light into this world. Here's to dispelling darkness. Sarah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I guess I should read my kind note too, then. Fortune, Marie, your ability to share joy and kindness is such an act of resistance. Keep crushing it. And as always, keep it Handsome with love from Minnesota. Heather. And up here, Fortune. Marie. Keep it handsome. From Sue. Susan.

[Ad Read Voice]

Two people.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, maybe this is Susan who wrote it.

[Tig Notaro]

What are you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Bringing up with the patriarchy?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, out goes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Maybe.

[Mae Martin]

Well, we've all got three crocheted pineapples here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Keeping a pineapple apart, one of them

[Mae Martin]

looks a little different to the other two, so I'll take that one. It might have been from someone else.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, because you're special.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

Two against one. This is the epitome of two against one.

[Mae Martin]

This I just thought might be fun to show everyone because someone was like, I had to give you this. And it's a plastic corn cob. I thought it was a dildo. It's a plastic corn cob.

[Fortune Feimster]

I bet some people have used that as a dildo for sure. Because, you know, with the right amount

[Mae Martin]

out of lube, anything could be a dildo. Take a.

[Tig Notaro]

This hurts so bad.

[Fortune Feimster]

It looks like it hurts, but the bit.

[Tig Notaro]

It's not worth it.

[Fortune Feimster]

The bit was worth it for a second.

[Tig Notaro]

It's not.

[Mae Martin]

Turn this way.

[Tig Notaro]

It's so painful.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, take it off then.

[Tig Notaro]

It hurts so bad. It's just pinching.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, God. It's going to put a hole in your ear.

[Mae Martin]

It su.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a bit. What a bit, man.

[Tig Notaro]

What to do with these keychains?

[Mae Martin]

The jewelry.

[Fortune Feimster]

So many keychains.

[Tig Notaro]

The jewelry, keychains. Oh, my gosh.

[Fortune Feimster]

So what is this? Corn on the coin? Hold on.

[Mae Martin]

Well, I haven't tried. Oh, that's really strong. Tigs. Attach the keychains together.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. You'll have to go to Hulu, where we stream now.

[Mae Martin]

Okay, this. I haven't tried it yet, but this is this plastic corn cob dildo thing. And I'm gonna press the button and see what it does.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah, that's a dildo for sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Imagine.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait.

[Mae Martin]

Imagine this was your dildo.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, even back up. Imagine it's still going.

[Mae Martin]

It's. This is long.

[Fortune Feimster]

We don't know how to stop it. We literally can't stop it.

[Tig Notaro]

Imagine the mind behind this creation and people believed in it and mass produced it.

[Fortune Feimster]

And tell you guys that I do sell these.

[Mae Martin]

This is your.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's my voice.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. Fortune, you sounded just like the corn cob.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's cause I sell it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Good for you.

[Mae Martin]

It really does sound like your voice. Okay, I'm into this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Mae Martin]

The idea of it.

[Tig Notaro]

Or is it into you?

[Mae Martin]

We'll see later.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hello? Hello?

[Tig Notaro]

Tig Marie?

[Mae Martin]

Tig Marie.

[Tig Notaro]

You know what I had fun doing the other night when I was in some town I'm really hitting those minor markets right now. And I called the town, whatever their name was. Let's just say Town Marie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, people enjoyed it, I bet.

[Mae Martin]

I like that a lot.

[Tig Notaro]

Town Marie. They laughed at something inappropriate and it was. It was good. I'm gonna keep using that.

[Mae Martin]

These are for all three of us. They are keys to the city. Oh, they're stickers were designed for us.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're having a hard time divvying these.

[Tig Notaro]

Is this a good episode?

[Mae Martin]

I don't know. This is really not going the way I.

[Fortune Feimster]

But we can do a speed round.

[Mae Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Speed round.

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[Mae Martin]

A book of useless facts, Although that might be kind.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's for you for sure.

[Mae Martin]

In Malaysia.

[Tig Notaro]

No, thank you.

[Mae Martin]

In Malaysia, it is illegal for restaurants to substitute toilet paper as tables table napkins.

[Tig Notaro]

The end.

[Mae Martin]

Repeat offenders go to jail.

[Fortune Feimster]

Whoa. I think that you should memorize some of these and then present them as Mayfax.

[Mae Martin]

That's how I. That's.

[Tig Notaro]

You do.

[Mae Martin]

That's the method to my.

[Fortune Feimster]

We don't want them read from the book.

[Mae Martin]

No. You don't want one right now?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I mean, we just had one.

[Mae Martin]

I mean, here's a good one.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, give it to us. I changed my mind.

[Mae Martin]

Peter Pan and 101 Dalmatians are the only two classic Disney cartoon series where in which both parents are present and don't die in the movie.

[Fortune Feimster]

For real.

[Mae Martin]

That's so interesting.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, that is a good fact.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

101 Dalmatians and what? Peter. Peter Pan.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. They don't like parents. Both the parents being in the picture, apparently.

[Mae Martin]

Somebody gave me a DVD of the Golden Girls.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think that's for me.

[Mae Martin]

The complete first season of the Golden Girl.

[Fortune Feimster]

But also you've never watched it. I feel like you should watch it.

[Mae Martin]

Should I? Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. That's for you.

[Mae Martin]

I don't. These are all for me. I don't have a DVD player. And then.

[Tig Notaro]

This is a selfish Christmas.

[Mae Martin]

No, I just.

[Tig Notaro]

Digging through a box.

[Mae Martin]

I think it would have been better if I had those birds that looked like us.

[Tig Notaro]

I think it made for really great audio.

[Fortune Feimster]

I really did too. Describing to people what we're pulling out of a box.

[Mae Martin]

Wait, are you telling me this isn't good audio?

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune sounds exactly like this. Man, I haven't had my croutons.

[Fortune Feimster]

Croutons. I've had my croutons.

[Mae Martin]

I see. My dusty croutons.

[Tig Notaro]

Excuse me, but she hasn't had her croutons.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not until I get my croutons. Can I give you guys a good song? I mean, I do appreciate you trekking all the way back home with these things. Did you have to fly with an air. In an airplane with this?

[Mae Martin]

I shipped them. I had to ship 12.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you go by tr.

[Fortune Feimster]

By car to ship 12 boxes?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, but I want to go through

[Tig Notaro]

them all and yeah, my grandmother always said automobile. Did your grandmothers.

[Mae Martin]

Those were the days where you'd say homosexual too, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Automobile. I saw a homosexual and I said

[Fortune Feimster]

the word queer back then.

[Mae Martin]

Meaning, like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Meaning weird.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I had the queerest night I saw.

[Fortune Feimster]

Now we're like, tell me more.

[Tig Notaro]

I think I'm going to start using automobile more often. Well, I'm going to hop in my automobile. Automobile. And speaking of automobile, I was so thankful that Stephanie could get on board with this feeling I was having when we were driving down the road. I was like, this is so. Look, it's not like a huge breakthrough, but when you see one person, automobile, just like by themselves, driving a contraption that is so large surrounding them, and they're just taking up that seat, but they're driving an engine and three other seats and a trunk.

[Mae Martin]

It's grotesque.

[Tig Notaro]

It's so wildly piggish to just be

[Fortune Feimster]

driving little piggies on the road.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, little piggies on the road.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, when you see a car again, an automobile, and you really think about there is when. Especially when there's one person, one little pig.

[Fortune Feimster]

One little pig.

[Mae Martin]

How many pounds does a car weigh?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like a lot of pounds.

[Tig Notaro]

And you're on one side in the front, and then. And then you're not taking up any of the other space and you're just a little piggy rolling down the road to your destination.

[Fortune Feimster]

The problem is, if you go solo, like motorcycle, all the little piggies around you are dangerous.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like you're now in danger.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, that's why I don't ride. Ride my motorcycle anymore.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, but that's such a, like, quintessential, like, stoner thought, like, where you just something that you see every day and suddenly you go, what?

[Tig Notaro]

Like, yeah, I looked at animals that way. Yeah, I told you about that.

[Mae Martin]

No, but I'm with you.

[Tig Notaro]

I was just like, whoa.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. These furry creatures are living in our house. And it feels like they were just created for us to have. Even though that. That's not really what I think. But it just feels like we're in this storybook and.

[Ad Read Voice]

I don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, definitely. I'm not even on drugs.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, but I'm with you. Like the last time I. Well, anyway, one day

[Fortune Feimster]

you're looking at both of those.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, May is editing in real time.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have no idea. What is it?

[Mae Martin]

Well, just that the. It occurred to me just how good an Oreo is. Like, I. And. And I hadn't thought about it in Orego or Oreo.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, Oreo.

[Mae Martin]

And I was just like, God, imagine the person who got that recipe, like. And like there's nothing but like, who

[Fortune Feimster]

came up with it.

[Mae Martin]

And when they perfected it and they went, that's it, that's it. We got it.

[Tig Notaro]

There it is.

[Mae Martin]

And like, what an amazing thing. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't like Oreos till I was an adult.

[Mae Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

I still not that into them, but

[Tig Notaro]

I like Macy's cream ice cream.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is that part of.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, that's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is that part pure Oreos? There you go. I like that.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I don't really want an Oreo. Just to the cookie.

[Mae Martin]

Oh. It's like I have a box in my house at all times and I'll eat six in a row. For sure. Yeah. I love Oreo.

[Tig Notaro]

Six and then you move on.

[Mae Martin]

No, like roughly six. It could be seven, could be five.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you all. Do you like when they have different flavors, like mint?

[Tig Notaro]

No question. Fortune. Yes.

[Mae Martin]

This is why we gotta be in person.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I swear, if I said that on zoom, no follow up questions, I swear to God.

[Fortune Feimster]

We'd all just be blank faces.

[Mae Martin]

Mint. No. But I love the chocolate ones. And I like a double stuffed. Do you like a double stuffed?

[Fortune Feimster]

I would enjoy the double stuff. Yeah. There's too much cookie.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you ever. There's too much cookie.

[Fortune Feimster]

I prefer the middle.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh. I prefer the cookie with just a hint of middle.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, interesting.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah. And interesting.

[Mae Martin]

Tell us more.

[Tig Notaro]

This has to be our number one episode. We open a box of presents for May. But some people, they just want the cookie. They just want the cream. And like when you open it and

[Mae Martin]

there's some leftover on one, that's your perfect.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Like a little more than that. Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You get what I'm saying?

[Mae Martin]

I get what you say. Have some Oreos.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm not into double stuffed, though.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Mae Martin]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

But I stack two and that would be the same.

[Fortune Feimster]

Look at you.

[Tig Notaro]

You have a new thing

[Fortune Feimster]

lit up. Are vegan, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, they are. They're accidentally vegan.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I believe Swedish fish are as well.

[Mae Martin]

Really? Swedish fish are also vegan.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Some treats for you.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right. Sweet tarts. You know, things like that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, sweet tarts, too.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. People think people confuse veganism with like no sugar.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Or only healthy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right. Or no gluten, because you can eat French fries too.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, if you get real in the weeds about it, how were they? Like, what was the. The oil.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's a lot of weeds.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. That's a lot of weeds.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's a lot of weeds.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. But yeah. I'm often in conversation with somebody where they're like, no, no, no, no gluten. These are all gluten free. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, delete that bread.

[Mae Martin]

How was your fishing trip?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, man. Good transition.

[Fortune Feimster]

My vision trip was awesome.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Well, we talked about it a bit at the live show.

[Fortune Feimster]

A little bit. Yeah. I went for those that. If you don't remember me talking about an earlier pod, I went to the Niagara area, the USA side, to go fishing with my brother, who's an avid fisherman.

[Tig Notaro]

Buffalo.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, Niagara and Buffalo right beside each other. Yeah. So we went up there and I met all the Niagara tourism folks, and I got some sweatshirts and wow. I went and saw Niagara Falls at the bottom of it. That was cool.

[Mae Martin]

It's one of the great wonders of the world, right? It gets wild.

[Fortune Feimster]

I believe.

[Tig Notaro]

I think Handsome is one of the other 12.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then the first day, we went out on a small boat, which I actually pretty preferred.

[Tig Notaro]

And did anybody say, we're going to need a bigger boat?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, the bigger boat was for the next day, so we already knew that was coming.

[Tig Notaro]

But you didn't like my movie reference.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, what movie was it from? Wow. Okay, what is it?

[Mae Martin]

Jaws.

[Tig Notaro]

Jaws.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, and then there's a reference.

[Tig Notaro]

And it's also just a saying, like, in life, we're going to need a bigger boat.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then I think I've heard that

[Mae Martin]

in Calendar Girls about a bunch of women in their 60s who make a this sexy calendar. They go, I think we're gonna need bigger bonds.

[Tig Notaro]

There's constant references to it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Bigger what?

[Mae Martin]

Buns. Like, they have to hide their booze with the buns. And they go, I think we're gonna need bigger bombs.

[Tig Notaro]

I love that. Fortune just genuinely answered, well, we did get a bigger boat.

[Fortune Feimster]

Later.

[Tig Notaro]

One time I pull out a movie reference.

[Mae Martin]

That's not forced.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's not forced to call.

[Fortune Feimster]

Now that you say it. I remember him saying that.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, not just that movie. It's because, you know, it's like how in Happy Days, the they jump the shark. The shark.

[Fortune Feimster]

It becomes a catchphrase.

[Tig Notaro]

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're right.

[Tig Notaro]

Always right.

[Mae Martin]

An embarrassing thing the other day I went. I was talking about, like, creativity or something, and I was like, yeah, like, sometimes a melody will come in my head. And then I went, I have this song that I want to write that all I know is it goes, come and knock on my door. I didn't know an existing very famous song.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it's very famous.

[Tig Notaro]

You wrote that after years and years after it had been written.

[Fortune Feimster]

I never knew it was a thing.

[Mae Martin]

It just came up in my subconscious. I must have heard it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You must, because.

[Tig Notaro]

And then it's the next line.

[Fortune Feimster]

We've been waiting for you.

[Mae Martin]

Well then I went, oh my God.

[Tig Notaro]

May wrote that song.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

What are the.

[Mae Martin]

What's the legality of that? If I did write it, it just had already been.

[Fortune Feimster]

You'll definitely get sued.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, you need to get credit.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

But when I listened to it, it blew my mind because I've really. I have a voice note on my phone of me going, I gotta remember this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh my God.

[Tig Notaro]

You need to reach out to the network or studio for Three's Company. Yeah. To get your. Your due for coming up with that

[Fortune Feimster]

idea for your retroactive royalties.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my God. Yes.

[Mae Martin]

I've never seen Three's Company.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That was a good one. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Sorry.

[Mae Martin]

You're on the little boat on the

[Fortune Feimster]

edge of their seats right now to hear about my fishing. Little boat. I preferred that because.

[Tig Notaro]

Can that be my new nickname?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Little boat.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Big old Boltons. Because you do your own rod and. And you hold it and it's just more active. I didn't have to bait my hook. Everyone's been asking me. Oh yeah, and we didn't use real. We use the fake bait anyway. Yeah, that would have been fine. We didn't use worms or anything.

[Mae Martin]

But like.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you use rubber worms?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it was like a. It was like a rubber minnow.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

And tomato.

[Tig Notaro]

Tomato.

[Fortune Feimster]

And we were on the river, so it was calm and really pretty. And we wore the big. They call it, I don't know, these big outfits for the wind and stuff. And because it was pretty cold, it

[Tig Notaro]

was like the big outfits for the wind.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like a windbreaker. Like. Yeah, they have a word for it, but I can't remember. Foul weather gear is what they call it. Foul weather gear. Weather gear.

[Mae Martin]

I saw a homosexual in an automobile wearing foul weather gear.

[Tig Notaro]

What year was it?

[Mae Martin]

And do you caught a bunch.

[Fortune Feimster]

And it was like. Because it was like 45 degrees and on the water it's even colder. But that gear really warm. So that was really fun. And then the next day, the. It was pretty windy into the water and we went out onto Lake Ontario, like the big massive part of it. And the. The water was super choppy. And we were on a big like 32 foot boat at that point. And we were just like for 40 minutes out to where we were going. So I Was, like, holding on for dear life. Like, oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And you're a pretty little lady.

[Fortune Feimster]

Pretty little lady. But it was so cold that day because the wind was.

[Tig Notaro]

It was.

[Fortune Feimster]

That part was really fun. Like, we had a cool boat captain who he. I mean, fishing has come so beyond what I knew. I mean, there's all this. These tools and equipment, and he's putting everyone's lines out, but there's, like, five of them, and you just take turns for, like, when. When you see it, like, a fish is on there. We're like, all right, someone go. And then you just. You reel it in, which is cool, but I like the more. River. Yeah. River Stitch.

[Mae Martin]

That feels like it takes the. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. That was, like, more of just like, we want to, but we were doing catch and release, so.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm sorry. Were you miserable?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I really liked it. I just preferred the lazy river.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And are you guys chatting about life while you. While you fish and stuff? Definitely.

[Fortune Feimster]

On the first day, you could, like, really have conversations. The second day is a little more chaotic, and. But it was still really fun.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And we caught a ton of fish, and, like, it was all, like, I said, catch and release, but it was.

[Mae Martin]

That's an adventure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it was just, like, something different. And I got to be with my brother. My nephew was there, too, and some friends of ours, and we just had, like, a fun time. We ate. We ate, like, buffalo, you know, known for their chicken wings. We got some excellent chicken wings.

[Mae Martin]

Fun to be out on the water on a cold day. Got it. Like a thermos.

[Ad Read Voice]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

We got up early. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

That's nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Put on this gear.

[Ad Read Voice]

I felt very outdoors, very butch.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't have to touch a fish because I wore gloves.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, evening gloves

[Fortune Feimster]

down to my elbows. Yeah. And, you know, my brother and I just don't get to do stuff like that together very often.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And it was nice.

[Tig Notaro]

So I have to say, fishing was something I absolutely loved. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Even I was somebody that liked watching fishing shows.

[Mae Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I could.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Mae Martin]

When you're watching a fishing show, they're talking and you're just waiting or.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, they're not talking.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Just waiting.

[Fortune Feimster]

My brother's deep in that world, and it is a huge, like. Like, hugely popular, those shows and the tournaments and all that stuff, because he was there for, like, a conference about fishing.

[Mae Martin]

No way.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. So he.

[Tig Notaro]

Because he.

[Fortune Feimster]

He and my other brother own a company called Ska Southern Kingfish. Association where they put on tournaments as well.

[Mae Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then he also has a company that live streams tournaments. So people in that world, like, love it.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I mean, it must be really satisfying. All the gear and stuff. Like, I could see as a hobby. It's got everything.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I like Niagara Falls a lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's cool.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, I. I used to go there as a kid a lot and I like the. There's a museum about all the freaky deaky people that and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that tried to go down it.

[Mae Martin]

I gotta get in a barrel and go over that.

[Fortune Feimster]

There's like no way they'll be.

[Mae Martin]

Or this guy Charles. Charles Blondin. This guy who. He walked across a tightrope over May Fact. Yeah. Then he was like. Like that wasn't enough. So he pushed a wheelbarrow across it with a tiger in it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And then I noticed you said wheelbarrow correctly. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

You did.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did I say that was a topic of conversation?

[Tig Notaro]

Wheelbarrow. At our live show, we got in it.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I was.

[Tig Notaro]

And you thought wheelbarrow.

[Mae Martin]

I was convinced. I would have bet my life.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. A lot of people. Audience did too.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Big cheer for barrel.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right. It was Barrow.

[Mae Martin]

Barrow. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was kind of trippy being in the water and I was looking at Toronto.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I was like, I had a show there the next week.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, that's weird.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like, it's like right there.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I could just go do my show right now.

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[Mae Martin]

Yes, that's right. So what's the plan?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, we are gonna go with a

[Ad Read Voice]

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[Mae Martin]

Fortune. That sounds dreamy.

[Ad Read Voice]

Well, you know, I haven't mentioned this to my brother yet, but there's also a karaoke machine, so I don't know. Is it weird to do karaoke at the end of a long fishing day?

[Mae Martin]

No, that's so normal and so perfect. But here's my question is, are you going to be eating the fish that you're. That you're fishing?

[Fortune Feimster]

Honestly, I have no idea about that part.

[Ad Read Voice]

But this place does have an amazing kitchen, so we're definitely going to be cooking something. And that's what I love about Airbnb. If we were staying at a hotel, we would not have any of these amenities, and we'd have way less space to just hang out with Airbnb.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know we're going to be making

[Ad Read Voice]

some fun memories for life.

[Mae Martin]

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[Ad Read Voice]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Look.

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[Mae Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

It was fun. Yeah. So, yay, fishing.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, that's great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, should we get to our question?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't see why we wouldn't.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Today's question is brought to you by AT&T.

[Fortune Feimster]

Today's question asker is an actor, musician and New York Times best selling author. Best known for playing Jesse on Full House. Remember he would say, have mercy. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ad Read Voice]

And Dr. Tony Gates on ER.

[Fortune Feimster]

He's also played drums with the Beach Boys since 1985. He's been in a ton of things.

[Ad Read Voice]

John Stamos is asking today's question.

[Mae Martin]

That's blown my mind.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, you didn't know? You didn't know that?

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't know until I met John. I blew my mind.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Well, he played drums on Full House.

[Mae Martin]

I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

And they, they have the Beach Boys on there at one point.

[Mae Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

As a. Yeah, as guests.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, in a surprise twist. I haven't seen Full House.

[Mae Martin]

What? What?

[Ad Read Voice]

Not one episode?

[Fortune Feimster]

You got it, dude.

[Tig Notaro]

Is that what John says?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, the.

[Mae Martin]

The Olsen. But John Stainless was, I don't know, age wise. Like he. That was the sexual awakening for everyone in my. Even I was like, yeah, Uncle Jesse

[Tig Notaro]

Thomas is still attracted Uncle Jesse.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, did I call him Jesse? It is Uncle.

[Mae Martin]

Uncle Jesse. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. How dare you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, listen, Jesse and the Rippers. That was his, his band name on Full House. And also he's in the music video, I believe for you.

[Mae Martin]

Never saw that video, I'm pretty sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, but he was playing. I think he was playing hand drums on that one.

[Tig Notaro]

Life Fortune.

[Mae Martin]

I love.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love me some Uncle Jesse. I've met him a couple times. He's very handsome and very charming.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I tried out for a Greek yogurt commercial and you had to audition with him. And I turned into a pretty little lady around him. Giggly, giggly. And he, he had like some yogurt on his mouth and best part, he licked it up. And I'm just like,

[Tig Notaro]

recently?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, this is years.

[Tig Notaro]

Try it out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

An audition. Try it out.

[Fortune Feimster]

But that guy, that man is a charming fella.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I believe they call him a panty dropper.

[Mae Martin]

Fortune Marie.

[Fortune Feimster]

You've never heard that term?

[Tig Notaro]

Of course I have.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just didn't like me saying it. No. Well, look at all the. That is what you know, that's the truth.

[Tig Notaro]

I'll be honest. At first I thought you said a penny dropper.

[Fortune Feimster]

Penny drop? Yeah, he's a penny drop.

[Tig Notaro]

I believe what they say about Johnny is he is a penny draft.

[Fortune Feimster]

All Right. Let's hear this question.

[Tig Notaro]

We got F back.

[Mae Martin]

Hello, everybody.

[John Stamos]

This is John Stamos. Hello, May. Hello, fortune. Love you guys.

[Mae Martin]

That's crazy.

[John Stamos]

Tig and I go way back. Tig. Every time I see Tig, she likes to tell me how much she looks like Lori Loughlin. So, anyway, here's my question. What was the very first concert that you ever went to?

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys are gonna die when I tell you what my first concert was.

[Tig Notaro]

John Stamos playing drums with the Beach Boys.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was the Beach Boys.

[Tig Notaro]

Was it?

[Ad Read Voice]

It was.

[Fortune Feimster]

He was not playing drums, but it was the Beach Boys.

[Mae Martin]

No way.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

How old were you?

[Tig Notaro]

I can't say. I'm gonna die about that.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys are going.

[Mae Martin]

Was Brian Wilson still playing with them?

[Fortune Feimster]

Honestly, I don't remember. I was so young. I was like.

[Tig Notaro]

Then he was.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was like a. Yeah, my parents took us all, and it was one of those, like, outdoor amphitheaters. And I just remember people in a lot of shorts and T shirts and just, you know, jamming.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I remember. I could not tell you specifics at all at five.

[Mae Martin]

Clearly just, like, overwhelmed by the atmosphere.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then after that, I believe I went on. The next concert was Meatloaf.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

That's the obvious next step.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, what did Meatloaf sing?

[Tig Notaro]

Bat out of Hell is his

[Fortune Feimster]

love.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I've seen Meatloaf live.

[Mae Martin]

Have you? Is it a real experience? I bet he's sweating.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, he was like.

[Tig Notaro]

Well. And he's no longer with us. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think I knew that.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, you didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We lost Meatloaf.

[Mae Martin]

Meatloaf fan.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really?

[Mae Martin]

Well, because in Rocky or A Picture show, he plays Eddie, and that's true. Yeah. And then he's in Spice World playing the bus driver, and those are two of my favorite movies.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Is that the Spice Girls movie? Spice World, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You want to know who my next concert was?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, please.

[Fortune Feimster]

Let's go.

[Tig Notaro]

I've seen Rod Stewart in concert.

[Mae Martin]

Really?

[Tig Notaro]

I haven't seen the Beach Boys.

[Mae Martin]

You want to hear my 19th concert?

[Fortune Feimster]

You want another one over that?

[Mae Martin]

Are you someone who would keep a concert ticket, buy a T shirt? No. You're just there for the.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I've never been really in. I mean, maybe a little bit when I was younger, but I didn't keep the concert stubs. But, no, I don't. I didn't have T shirts from any of those. My parents.

[Tig Notaro]

I have a whole drawer.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you.

[Tig Notaro]

Of rock jerseys.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, sick.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

We've been to A concert together, Famously.

[Fortune Feimster]

We went to Alanis Morissette together. Yeah, we did.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Almost broke up the handsome pod for one night. You were ready to throw in the towel.

[Tig Notaro]

Weren't sure if you'd make it to April.

[Mae Martin]

It was more like, I think why it stayed with me was it really made me confront myself. Cause, like, I really was yearning, like, I was happy for you, but the swirling emotions in me of just like

[Fortune Feimster]

something took over your body that you had no control over.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And it was Alanis.

[Mae Martin]

I want to be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Atlantis was one of my first concerts, too. Well, so the first one I ever went to was 98 degrees with Jessica Simpson opening.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Mae Martin]

I was maybe 11.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, what is 98 degrees?

[Fortune Feimster]

A boy bamboo.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, Nick Lachey.

[Mae Martin]

Nick Lachey.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I thought that was like her album or tour.

[Mae Martin]

No, boy band who played Massey Hall. And I. Yeah. This is the first one I went to without my parents, I guess.

[Tig Notaro]

So wait, it was the boy band and Alanis?

[Mae Martin]

No, Alanis is separate. That was my second concert, I think, that I went to by myself.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Mae Martin]

At 13, you went alone? No, with one friend.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh.

[Mae Martin]

Like, you know when your parents drop you off and pick you up. Yeah, but I didn't know 90.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I have more of an experience where my mother would drop me off and then forget to pick me up.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my goodness.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did that happen?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my.

[Mae Martin]

Anyway.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

She like to party. But anyway, go ahead.

[Mae Martin]

All I remember is with this boy band that they came out on stage and I didn't even know their music, and I burst into tears. Like, just the energy of the room. I was like.

[Fortune Feimster]

And there was probably something about you that's like. Kind of like, I want to be

[Tig Notaro]

on that could have been Me. Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

It's the hardest thing I'll ever. That one.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. There's a lot of.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you know that one? It's the hardest thing.

[Mae Martin]

All it to look.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was a New Kids on the Block. Yeah. And I went to the. I also went to that concert.

[Tig Notaro]

Was that concert number four.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cried like a baby.

[Tig Notaro]

Were you in love with them?

[Fortune Feimster]

In love?

[Mae Martin]

I cried when I saw Atlantis.

[Tig Notaro]

Did it work out?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, but I know Jonathan, you know,

[Mae Martin]

one of the new kids.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know Jonathan. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

I should get him to ask a question. I think I said that forever ago. I forgot.

[Mae Martin]

All I remember about the Atlantis concert is again crying. And when Fortune was there. No, no, when I was 13.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

I could see that.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Overwhelmed by her. She's so magnetic on stage.

[Mae Martin]

I was way in the nosebleeds and the woman next to me was convinced that she was making eye contact with Alanis. So she kept being like, yeah, yes, girl. Like, it was like. She was like, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Looking into like a dark hole. All you see are like bright lights in your face. I'm sure.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And how old was that woman that. That was feeling?

[Mae Martin]

Must have been in her 30s or something. And I. I was 13. I remember she had sort of had a cane and these long nails.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cane at 30.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. She was an interesting character. I don't know what her story was. Yeah, my friend went to a Backstreet Boys concert and then stood up cheering and a woman said, sit down. And she took her long fingernail and pushed it in her back. And my friend, this was in the 90s where we were all scared we were going to get stabbed with needles. That was a thing. I don't know if you remember that. That was.

[Tig Notaro]

Was.

[Mae Martin]

No, I. Thomas.

[Fortune Feimster]

Maybe that was a Canada thing.

[Mae Martin]

It was Canadian high school. It was like, don't go to Wonderland. Canada's Wonderland. You're going to get stabbed with a needle.

[Tig Notaro]

And just like a needle.

[Mae Martin]

Remember this? I remember like Halloween candy. Yes. Razor blades.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

That was the needle attached to anything. Or somebody was just like poking you with a needle.

[Mae Martin]

People were like, you're people are going to give you diseases with needles and do things to you. I don't know. That was like. That's not.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you ever know anyone that got poked with a needle?

[Mae Martin]

It was a full urban legend that

[Fortune Feimster]

like middle school kids spread place.

[Tig Notaro]

Urban.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. You're.

[Tig Notaro]

That's a question.

[Mae Martin]

Rural. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

There must probably better ones.

[Mae Martin]

So Alanis. Yeah, that just was like a religious experience. But yeah. My parents before that, I guess took me to Sandra Beach. She was a children's. A children's entertainer who I was in love with him.

[Tig Notaro]

Romantically in love with or just like. Oh, I love this.

[Mae Martin]

I think. I think really romantically. But I was like three. But I wanted to. Yeah, you wanted to hit that.

[Fortune Feimster]

What about you? What was your name again?

[Mae Martin]

Little Boat.

[Fortune Feimster]

What about you? Little Boat.

[Mae Martin]

Little Tugboat. Tugboat. Tig Boat.

[Fortune Feimster]

Tig Boat.

[Tig Notaro]

Tig Boat. My first concert was heavy metal.

[Mae Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Sammy Hagar.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, I can see that.

[Tig Notaro]

I can't drive.55 tour.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know it. And do you know. You don't know Sammy.

[Tig Notaro]

He ended up replacing David Lee Roth and Van Halen. Oh, and he was also in. What was. He was in another Band before he was solo, that was. Oh, let me. Let me. We'll come back to this.

[Mae Martin]

But when you saw me was a solo metal performer.

[Ad Read Voice]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Hard rock.

[Mae Martin]

Whoa.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And how old were you?

[Tig Notaro]

I was 12.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And my mother dropped me and my friend Chris Harriman off at the concert. And I remember, you know, my mother's like, you two stick together.

[Fortune Feimster]

Don't get poked with any needle.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't go getting poked with a needle. And I had a gold necklace that I wore as a kid. And my mother, or no, Chris and I decided we should take off our necklaces in case somebody pulls them. Because in our minds, like, a concert was just like mayhem.

[Mae Martin]

You were waiting to get mugged and moshed.

[Tig Notaro]

You were maybe gonna be knifed. Who knows?

[Mae Martin]

This is similar to the needle paranormal.

[Fortune Feimster]

The fear. Fear that we were instilled with.

[Tig Notaro]

But it was truly. We just walked in and it was. You know, we were shown to our seat, and we just sat and watched Sammy Hagar sing I can't drive 55.

[Mae Martin]

But there's. When you're a kid especially, or, like, the first time that you go to a big venue and you have that moment where the lights go dark and people start going nuts, and then whatever that performer has chosen to make their first moment is like, yes. Yeah. Like, when I saw Barbra Streisand, I was maybe 14 and really stoned, I think. And I was with a bunch of my friends, moms, and I was the only young person. And I just remember blackness. And then Babs appears at the top of a staircase. Long black dress, one leg comes out. Don't tell me not to live. I said again, burst into tears.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would have died.

[Mae Martin]

I know every word to.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I kind of want to die. Just hearing you recount that moment.

[Fortune Feimster]

Don't tell me not to just because I love Babs.

[Tig Notaro]

I love Babs.

[Fortune Feimster]

You do?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Stephanie and I own three.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

We went and saw Babs. I had a moment like that when I went and saw the Pretenders.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

When she. There was, like, a platform that. There was a curtain and a light shining on the curtain. So you see her.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like the shadow of her walking out on a platform behind the curtain. And then she appears, and I.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I was like, I can't handle.

[Tig Notaro]

I cannot handle. I can't handle this.

[Fortune Feimster]

That would have been cool to see, don't you think?

[Mae Martin]

More stand up. Like, why don't we have that on our tour?

[Fortune Feimster]

A little bit more of a. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

People start clap, chanting.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, it'd be weird in a theater, but if you're at, like, an arena or something, maybe, or just a comedy club.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Working out new material. Yeah. I'm still bothered that I'm forgetting the name of the band. This is my own rock and roll trivia. Will you look up Sammy Hagar's?

[Mae Martin]

Was it Montrose?

[Tig Notaro]

Darn it. I didn't want you to tell me. I was like, will you look it up? And you looked it up.

[Fortune Feimster]

I did think you asking him to look it up meant you wanted to know the answer.

[Tig Notaro]

I know, but he interrupted me. I was gonna say, well, you look it up and not tell me the name. Just the initial, and I will get it.

[Mae Martin]

I've heard that name.

[Tig Notaro]

Montrose.

[Mae Martin]

Montrose. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Montrose was really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did you see any other of those metal bands like Guns and Roses?

[Tig Notaro]

I saw Guns and Roses. I saw Metallica. I saw Metallica with Cliff Burton, who was their original bassist who died in their bus accident.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Opening for Ozzy.

[Mae Martin]

What? Metallica opening for Ozzy.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, sir. I mean, we're going way back. Okay.

[Mae Martin]

This is before Master of Puppets. That's my Metallica album that I love.

[Tig Notaro]

No, Master of Pup. This was, I believe, on that tour, they were opening for Ozzy.

[Mae Martin]

Cool, man.

[Tig Notaro]

And I believe Ozzy's guitarist was Zach Wilde.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cool.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Okay. So you used to go to a lot of live music shows.

[Fortune Feimster]

Were you going in, like, New Orleans? Is that where you were seeing these?

[Tig Notaro]

I've seen concerts there. Houston, Dallas. But, you know, I was also going to see Willie Nelson and Elton John. I was a massive. Elton John.

[Fortune Feimster]

I saw Elton John. Yeah, I love him.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretenders, Indigo Girls, Edie Burkel. I went and saw at a dance club in Houston called Numbers. And Numbers was like, I just. As I've said, I was never into drugs, but I remember kids would go when it was like the dance club night and do ecstasy and dance all night at Numbers. Yeah, but this was like the early days of Edie Brickell and New Bohemians. And I went and saw her at Numbers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I love live music.

[Mae Martin]

I'm talking about is making me want to be there right now.

[Fortune Feimster]

But my favorite ones, I don't really love, like, the big, giant arena ones. Something feels very, like, same, not. Not personal about it. And I get it. Like, they're so popular there in those places. But I prefer, like, an amphitheater.

[Tig Notaro]

Right?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

The Greek Theater, even the Hollywood Bowl. Something like, outside where it's a little more intimate. The sound's really amazing. I've never been To Red Rocks. I still die.

[Tig Notaro]

Red Rocks. I've seen the Indigo Girls. I saw the Sex Pistols there.

[Ad Read Voice]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And. And Johnny Rotten.

[Mae Martin]

Oh my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Was on a. On oxygen.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Through the whole concert. Like how punk rock is.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I gotta go to a concert there.

[Mae Martin]

I want to go see a concert right now. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Right this second.

[Mae Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

This beauty of L. A or any big city. You can kind of see a concert at any night.

[Tig Notaro]

I saw Melissa Etheridge at Red Rocks.

[Mae Martin]

I will say, like, just. And I'm like so mediocre that I'm still like quivering. But to have had the experience of walking out with your guitar and not having to say, oh, hi guys, I'm May. What are we all doing here today? Like to get to go out and just play like open with a. A riff and then start.

[Tig Notaro]

It is crazy when you play music.

[Mae Martin]

Do you. My whole energy changes.

[Fortune Feimster]

What.

[Tig Notaro]

But what I find so amusing is when singers do their little banter between songs like that, the audience dies laughing. I love the banter, but it wouldn't hold up as stand up.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, 100%.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And so your banter as a standup between songs.

[Mae Martin]

I'm not doing whole bits.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm mainly saying I'm scared. Yes.

[Mae Martin]

Truly saying like, oh, I've never worn a tank top on stage before, guys. And it's a lot of like this

[Tig Notaro]

one goes out to like deep, earnest

[Mae Martin]

gratitude and just being like, this is my teen dream and being self deprecating. But I. Yeah, it really is so satisfying.

[Tig Notaro]

Is there one that's more satisfying? Music or comedy or improv? Hello.

[Mae Martin]

You know when. Oh man, they're so like when improv. When you're in the zone with improv, you feel like a wizard. Right?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And that's so fun with other people. But then. Yeah. I don't know. There's so.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You can't choose one music.

[Mae Martin]

I'm feeling pretty because I'm on tour. I've been playing songs and there is something about like at the silent. Like you hear a pin drop and then like people get emotional or you like, I'm trying to get braver about emoting with my voice, like, and being. Yeah. Trying to own it more.

[Ad Read Voice]

I'm sure the more you keep doing

[Fortune Feimster]

it, that will keep coming.

[Mae Martin]

Yes. It's like exactly like any skill or standup. Like I'm just at the beginning of like my trying it out. So. Yeah. You really notice that you're getting better.

[Tig Notaro]

And by the way, I've experienced in standup hearing many Pins drop. That is. Is definitely.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's your wheelhouse. Yeah. That is way Is the silence. You love it.

[Tig Notaro]

But whether I'm orchestrating it or I'm bombing, I have heard many a pin drop.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're often orchestrating it.

[Tig Notaro]

Often orchestrating it.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. When you feel like. Do you ever have that feeling with Stand up where you're like, you're. It's like you're an energy conductor or something, where you're like. I'm such a nice. Nice feeling.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

That's cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

One of the best concert I've ever seen.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Handsome.

[Mae Martin]

Guess not. Alanis.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, she was unbelievable.

[Mae Martin]

That was crazy.

[Tig Notaro]

Golden Girls.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys don't have one guess. Okay.

[Mae Martin]

The best concert you've ever seen. Oh, I. No, you've said this before.

[Fortune Feimster]

Come on, you.

[Mae Martin]

Clarkson.

[Tig Notaro]

Judas Priest.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love her pain.

[Mae Martin]

Pink. But no, no, you love pink. Katy Perry, guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, the chicks, they're incredible as well. But this is a version Celine Dion.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. I never would have gotten that.

[Mae Martin]

I was just thinking what would be like.

[Fortune Feimster]

That concert blew my tits off. Just like, y'.

[Tig Notaro]

All.

[Fortune Feimster]

She. Her voice.

[Mae Martin]

That's actually how I got my top surgery.

[Fortune Feimster]

Her voice is.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. An audience full of tits flying off.

[Mae Martin]

She hits that high note and then boom.

[Fortune Feimster]

But then her banter is insane.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like what?

[Mae Martin]

Well, have you seen the edit?

[Fortune Feimster]

I got a. A call from Ryan Reynolds. Ooh la la. You know, it's like. It's like.

[Tig Notaro]

And then just goes into a song,

[Fortune Feimster]

and then it goes to the most beautiful song you ever heard. And then the banter is wild.

[Mae Martin]

You got it. There's on YouTube search, Celine Dion is amazing. And it's a montage of her on stage and some of her strange banter.

[Fortune Feimster]

Her banter is.

[Mae Martin]

There's one where she goes. This one goes out to all the parents and all the children of the world. That's everyone in the world.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because everything's very dramatic in her accent and stuff. And. And she's a little wacky in her banter.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And so I live for the banter. But then her song, her voice is just incredible.

[Tig Notaro]

Now, I can't remember why, and I think that actually Martha and I should follow up on this. But my friend Martha Kelly, insanely funny comedian and actor, she and I did something for Zach Galifianakis, like, as a favor, I can't remember, but he said if we did this, he would give us tickets to Celine Dion in Vegas.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

And so I need to ask Martha what that was. And so he was going to give us these tickets to Celine Dion in Vegas. And it never panned out. And we couldn't organize it or we had to cancel it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't remember what it was you missed out.

[Tig Notaro]

I saw Britney Spears. I think I told you that. In Vegas. Yeah. And I think she had to scoot off stage to fix.

[Mae Martin]

It was a weird time.

[Tig Notaro]

Something. I think she had to fix something. Like we were watching dancers for, like, a good 20 minutes, and then she scooted back out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow. I saw one of Taylor Swift's backup dancers today.

[Mae Martin]

They.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well.

[Mae Martin]

On the street.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. He's like, I'm a fan of yours. I'm like, I'm a fan of yours. You know what?

[Mae Martin]

Cup Dancer.

[Fortune Feimster]

Of course I do. Whoa. I also saw Taylor in concert. She was incredible.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I know. I don't know every single one of her. Who. Every single one of her backup dancers were, but that Eras tour was so huge.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That a lot of those dancers became, like, known, too. Wow. Wow. And he was. But he was also on Dancing with the Stars, so.

[Mae Martin]

Okay. Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

What's his name?

[Fortune Feimster]

And he's gorgeous.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you know his name? Jan. Jan,

[Fortune Feimster]

is it?

[Tig Notaro]

Yawn.

[Fortune Feimster]

With a J, though. He's done Dancing the Stars. Taylor SW backup dancer. He's gorgeous. Just like John Stamos.

[Mae Martin]

We got to hear John's answer.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. Let's hear John's answer while we never know.

[Tig Notaro]

By the way, there's a story behind why John said that. I always tell him that I look like Lori Laurie.

[Mae Martin]

Laura Loughlin, for another time.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right, Jan.

[Mae Martin]

I can't believe he said my name. That's.

[Tig Notaro]

I. I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's something like that.

[Tig Notaro]

You can't believe John Stamos said your name.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I actually got butterflies when he said it, when he said May, because I really like. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I would rush home from school, watch Full House. I think I wanted to be him. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I think I was too old for schoolhouse, for. For school house, for. I think. Yawn.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. Somebody out there knows. Taylor. Taylor, Let us know.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah. Next week, our. Our questions coming from Taylor Swift.

[Fortune Feimster]

That would be amazing.

[John Stamos]

My very first concert, of course, was the Beach Boys, and it was at the Universal Amphitheater. And I'll never forget it because I. It's changed my life, obviously. Beach Boys have become part of my DNA, I always say. And I remember sitting there thinking, like, oh, my God, I hope. I wish. I wish Mike Love would come out and say, our drummer tonight, you know, broke his finger and he can't play. So does anybody know the songs out there? And I'd be like, me, me, me, me. And interestingly, years later, when I became friends with them and I was telling Mike that story, he said, you know, before we went on stage, Dennis and I got in a fight because he had a big bottle of orange juice and vodka, mostly vodka. And it was at Universal Studios. He said he took the vodka and he threw it over and it landed near a tram or something. Like, the tours were going by, and they got in this fist fight, and he said he smashed his fingers in some. You know, in a fence or something. So it almost happened.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's kind of trippy.

[Tig Notaro]

But he still found a way to become their drummer.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, that's. That's wild.

[Tig Notaro]

And John and I, I. I like to think very seriously have talked about rocking together.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm sure.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God. That. What, like renting or.

[Tig Notaro]

Or, I don't know, just like, you know, jamming.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right.

[Mae Martin]

Please can I come? Let us know how.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I suspect he's a lot better than I am.

[Fortune Feimster]

He'll have a jam sesh.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, that was lovely.

[Mae Martin]

Can I say one more thing?

[Fortune Feimster]

Sure.

[Mae Martin]

I just said. I heard a interview with Paul McCartney where he described the moment of. He was in Brian Wilson's house, and he said. In the interview, he said, I'm not glorifying drugs, but I had just done a big line of coke and then this. And then Brian Wilson comes in and goes, ah, we've been in the studio. Can I play you something? And plays in the first cut of Good Vibrations.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, wow.

[Mae Martin]

And you know the opening to that song. And Paul just describes being like Goose. Like the hair on his arms.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

No. Yeah. Isn't that the colorful. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

God only knows. It's such a beautiful song.

[Tig Notaro]

So good.

[Mae Martin]

I'm gonna listen on the drive home. Yeah, I'm. I can do that now. I can listen to music in my car. And I was too scared for a long time, but I don't get distracted now. I can listen. Yeah, I know Carney.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm friends with Carney Wilson.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, nice. I met her on a flight once.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wilson Phillips. Phillips member. Oh, yeah. We were on that flight, too. I didn't know Carney then. You and I were on that flight when Carney was on the plane.

[Tig Notaro]

That was the same flight.

[Fortune Feimster]

Same flight, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

What a good memory.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know.

[Tig Notaro]

I.

[Fortune Feimster]

You don't remember. It's fine.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, good times.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where are you guys gonna be performing?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my website knows that's for sure. Tignotaro.com can tell you everything. The show's about. Been so fun. And I also just want to acknowledge Newtown, Connecticut, such a beautiful community. Been through so much. I went and just had two very fun shows and just got the most beautiful letter from the promoter.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's so nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Such a beautiful letter and I. I can't wait to return to that area.

[Fortune Feimster]

Amazing.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Maymartin.net I have some shows listed, I think coming up, some music festivals in the summer in Yellowknife and Guelph in July. But otherwise just, just check out, you know, the old stuff.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I'm coming to Europe. I might already be there tomorrow. I've got Berlin, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, London and Dublin. Then back in the states in June, Rochester, Minnesota, Cedar Records, Iowa, Omaha and Detroit. So check those shows out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And if you are there tomorrow, I hope you travel safely.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hit the airplane tonight.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And make sure to share episodes, your favorite episodes. This might be one of them. With your loved ones. Help us build this very handsome community and raise rate. Review. Subscribe.

[Mae Martin]

You can catch us on Hulu now.

[Tig Notaro]

A day early.

[Mae Martin]

A day early.

[Tig Notaro]

A day early. You can get this nonsense. One day early. Wait, what concert blew the tits off Celine Dion?

[Fortune Feimster]

Baby, baby,

[Tig Notaro]

I'm nude. We're here to blow your tits off.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

And thanks for listening. And as always, keep it handsome.

[Mae Martin]

Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media at@HANDSOME POD.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast. What a podcast.

[Mae Martin]

That was a Headgum podcast.

[Ad Read Voice]

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[Tig Notaro]

Not checking that.

[Ad Read Voice]

I've got my gavel before recording the podcast that is out of order. It's not an episode of the Handsome podcast if I don't have my podcasting

[Tig Notaro]

gavel in my hand.

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[Tig Notaro]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sterling K. Brown.

[Mae Martin]

And I'm Chris Sullivan.

[John Stamos]

And we host the podcast that Was

[Mae Martin]

Us now on Headgum.

[Tig Notaro]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show.

[Ad Read Voice]

This is us.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars. And writers and ca.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping. Man. Listen to that. Was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.