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Mae Martin
This is a Headgun podcast.
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Fortune Feimster
Yeah, checking first is handsome.
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Fortune Feimster
Cheers. Welcome to the handsome pod. You guys, I'm Fortunate Feemster.
Tig Notaro
I'm Tig Notaro.
Mae Martin
I'm Mae Martin.
Fortune Feimster
And we're together in person.
Tig Notaro
We are for the second time this week.
Fortune Feimster
This is incredible.
Tig Notaro
This is wild, right?
Fortune Feimster
It feels like we are all just so, like, I don't know, simpatico right now.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Go to YouTube or Hulu and see what Fortune just did with her hands.
Fortune Feimster
I did this.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, you are doing it.
Fortune Feimster
I don't know why.
Mae Martin
That's a perfect representation.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, that's what's happening.
Fortune Feimster
We're very connected at the moment.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. It never fails to be uber connecting in person.
Fortune Feimster
That's right. That's why we held hands.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Just to feel it.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Just to feel your pheromones again is electric.
Fortune Feimster
Well, we saw each other this week because we had our live show in LA for the Netflix is a joke festival. And that was awesome.
Tig Notaro
Yes. And when we say this week, we mean two weeks ago. Two days ago.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah.
Tig Notaro
When this comes out. But in real life.
Fortune Feimster
Was wild.
Mae Martin
I think that might have been. I was thinking, like, the biggest show I've ever done.
Tig Notaro
What do you mean?
Mae Martin
Numbers wise? How many people are in that place?
Fortune Feimster
It would. That was about. Was it 1800? 1900. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
You've done.
Mae Martin
I told.
Fortune Feimster
I've done way bigger. No, I think maybe 2000. I don't know.
Mae Martin
I. I've been telling everyone it was. The show was bigger.
Tig Notaro
I think that was 3,000.
Mae Martin
Oh, okay. I take it all back.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, we have 3000. 1800.
Mae Martin
1800.
Fortune Feimster
Okay, never mind.
Tig Notaro
That was just a baby.
Mae Martin
But it never felt big. It felt big. And I'm always. You guys are cool as cucumbers. You're like to go out with nothing and just chat. I'm in awe. I became like a clown. I was doing, like, physical comedy that I've never done.
Tig Notaro
I didn't even pick up on it. What were you doing?
Fortune Feimster
I did the worm on the carpet.
Mae Martin
I Did a magic mike dance. I was manic, I feel like.
Fortune Feimster
And then half the carpet got on my shirt.
Tig Notaro
Yes. Yes. I honestly feel like I would feel the same if we were walking out in front of a stadium.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, funny. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I don't think it would.
Mae Martin
It wouldn't affect your.
Tig Notaro
I don't think so. I really don't. And I don't. And, you know, a lot of people like to say that it means that you don't care, and that's not true. That's not true at all.
Mae Martin
No. You're like, I'm home.
Tig Notaro
I just. I have faith. I know that. I've lived through everything so far in my life.
Mae Martin
Like, what's the worst that could happen?
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And it's like, even when things go terribly wrong in comedy, it usually creates the greatest comedy in the world.
Mae Martin
It's pretty delightful when something.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Why do the three of us always find things to talk about somehow?
Mae Martin
I know, I know. It always goes off in some direction,
Fortune Feimster
a direction we could never anticipate.
Mae Martin
Well.
Tig Notaro
And it was so nice also having our guests really reiterate, like, well, first of all, they were really great guests.
Fortune Feimster
They were small Ackerman and Brittany Snow from the Hunting Wives.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And then they were also pointing out, like, gosh, you guys are just so perfectly different, you know, and just bring such a different vibe and energy to the show. And I think I just have faith that will bring it. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
It was fun. We talked to them for a long time.
Mae Martin
They were delightful and funny and so cool.
Tig Notaro
They were so up.
Mae Martin
So up. Yeah, they were so.
Fortune Feimster
They wore handsome outfits.
Mae Martin
They were both wearing suits.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. They both showed up in suits.
Mae Martin
They looked stunning.
Fortune Feimster
And then I thought, oh, that does makes sense, because, you know, our picture is us in suits.
Tig Notaro
And then I showed up, and Fortune pointed out a few times that I dialed it in.
Fortune Feimster
You were in your most casual outfit.
Mae Martin
It was the most casual I've ever seen you.
Fortune Feimster
I was your most casual outfit.
Tig Notaro
I'm a pretty casual person.
Fortune Feimster
I was pretty casual.
Mae Martin
Like, these shoes are super smart.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Those. See the.
Mae Martin
Where were these?
Tig Notaro
Okay, well, I had a day today, but, yeah. Anyway, I'll wear a suit or a dress next time.
Fortune Feimster
A dress, please.
Tig Notaro
Oh, we should do a dress night.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, my God.
Tig Notaro
And have K D. Lang on. Who started in that? Kind of. Remember Katie's early days of wearing dresses?
Fortune Feimster
Would she wear dresses?
Tig Notaro
Yes.
Mae Martin
I've only ever seen her post dress phase.
Tig Notaro
Oh, no, she used to. It was such an obvious rebellion, I assumed, to her look and vibe. So she'd wear like cute little dress, like cowboy dresses and western dresses.
Fortune Feimster
When was the last time Dresses?
Mae Martin
Yeah. When was the first show?
Fortune Feimster
Would be wild.
Mae Martin
I don't know if I could speak.
Fortune Feimster
Would you do it in a. Maybe not a live show, but like here.
Mae Martin
I mean, for a laugh. I'd do it, but I'd be.
Fortune Feimster
I don't.
Tig Notaro
For a.
Fortune Feimster
What a loft.
Mae Martin
A laugh.
Fortune Feimster
A laugh.
Tig Notaro
Is that a laugh? Are you joking?
Mae Martin
I said that weird on purpose.
Tig Notaro
I wasn't sure if.
Mae Martin
I think that's an Alanna Johnstonism for a laugh, but.
Fortune Feimster
Oh.
Tig Notaro
Oh, okay.
Mae Martin
I don't know if I could. I think I. I'd enjoy it. And then like after five minutes.
Tig Notaro
That's okay.
Mae Martin
Change. But do you remember that photo shoot?
Tig Notaro
Rip it off.
Fortune Feimster
Rip it off. You could rip it against it.
Mae Martin
Do you remember. You probably won't specifically remember this the way I do, but that when Brad Pitt did a photo shoot in a dress, when Fight Club came out, it was the hottest. It was like this little dress and. Yeah. So maybe I could do it like that.
Fortune Feimster
Absolutely.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Do whatever you want.
Mae Martin
When was the last time you guys threw on a gown?
Tig Notaro
Ah, the last time I wore a dress was when I played Joan Jett's mother in the Runaways. And I told you the.
Mae Martin
You got cut?
Tig Notaro
Well, yeah, I got cut. But more incredibly, when I was. When they knocked on my trailer to bring me to set and I showed up at the door of my trailer, the woman that was taking me in the van, she goes, no, she laughed in your van. And I go. And she was like, sorry, I'm just really familiar with you. So this is a lot to process because I had a wig on too.
Mae Martin
Wow.
Tig Notaro
And a dress. Maybe I'll dig up that picture. I have a picture of me with Kristen Stewart and Joan Jett.
Mae Martin
Oh, you gotta get that pic out.
Fortune Feimster
I would love to see that.
Tig Notaro
You will not. And I have boobs at the time.
Fortune Feimster
Whoa.
Tig Notaro
Like, it was actual tig boobs. Tiggy tits.
Fortune Feimster
Tiggy tits.
Mae Martin
What about you?
Fortune Feimster
Well, you know, I do my character Brenda, where I'm in a one piece bathing suit. That is. It doesn't count. But it's very girly.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fortune Feimster
But when I'm in character, it feels very natural.
Mae Martin
Right.
Fortune Feimster
But a dress itself might have been.
Mae Martin
I'm picturing it and I like it.
Fortune Feimster
I filmed something in Austin. I want to say 2016. And they had me wear a long dress and big dangly earrings.
Mae Martin
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, wait, no, I take that back. In fubar, they made me Wear. I think they made me wear something girly. Oh, my God.
Tig Notaro
Something girly or a dress.
Fortune Feimster
It's always. Well, now that I think about it, it was a girly pants suit. It wasn't a dress.
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But didn't we.
Tig Notaro
Not the same.
Fortune Feimster
I know it's not, but if I do any dress, it's usually a character type thing. Last time I wore a dress for real was when I was a journalist and I covered the Oscars.
Mae Martin
And you wore a gown.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, my gams were showing. I have a picture of that fortune.
Tig Notaro
Marie, you get that?
Fortune Feimster
I'll have posted on socials.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
My gams were gammon.
Tig Notaro
And did you know you were a homosexual?
Fortune Feimster
I did. I had, but I was. I was only out at that point. Maybe to your dress. Like a year or two.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I look cute.
Mae Martin
I think. I don't doubt as a character in my teens, like, that was the last time for real. And then in. In Feel Good, my character had to put one on. Had to. I wrote it, but I hate it. I was so stressed. And then the director, I. I found out, luckily in time that she was gonna have the whole crew wear dresses to make me feel more comfortable. And I was like, oh, that's gonna make it way worse. I was, I. I nipped that in the bud.
Fortune Feimster
You just. Because you just wanted it to just be like a non thing.
Mae Martin
Yes, but I was freaking out about it. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Speaking of nipping things in the bud.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I years ago thought it was nipping it in the butt. Like if a dog bit.
Fortune Feimster
I could totally see that, though.
Mae Martin
That makes more sense.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Nip it in the butt.
Mae Martin
Did you know, because Malin Ackerman grew up in Toronto. And so then I posted the pictures from the live show and then my friend messaged me and went. She went to North Toronto High School. That's where I went. No, I went for six months to North Toronto High School.
Fortune Feimster
I didn't even get to talk about them.
Tig Notaro
Are you the same age?
Mae Martin
No, she was older, but she was in my friend's sister's year, which is wild.
Fortune Feimster
So, yeah, I want to say Mullins are maybe around my age, I think.
Mae Martin
Yeah, Yeah. I got. I wanted to have little. I kept trying to have little side combos and forgetting I know 1800 people there.
Fortune Feimster
Especially once you found out Malin was from Toronto, you're like, really?
Mae Martin
I really?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah.
Mae Martin
It's getting lost in her eyes.
Fortune Feimster
We had a. A number of their hunting wise fans came to the show, which they were rabid fans. We showed up to the show. And there was like eight girls outside. And I was like, man, people are really excited for this show. This was like a side gate or something.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, like 20 alley by the alley.
Fortune Feimster
And we're real fast at the same time. And they could. Could not have cared less about me. And I.
Tig Notaro
They were like, yeah, excuse me, could you get out of the way?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And then I was like, oh, they're here for them. Okay.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So it was very funny.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Yeah. Really put you in your place.
Mae Martin
It really does.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Yeah. That was fun.
Mae Martin
I loved it.
Tig Notaro
Meanwhile, then when I arrived, all eight of those girls went nuts.
Mae Martin
Screaming, fainting.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Have you ever fainted from excitement?
Fortune Feimster
Oh, I don't know that this would be excitement, but I did faint in the middle of a gay bar in Paris.
Tig Notaro
That sounds like excitement.
Fortune Feimster
I was like. I was living in Spain at the time. Went to go visit my friend Brian in Paris. He took me to a gay bar, but it was like, in a. Kind of in a basement. It was really hot. Yeah, it was packed. And it was like they had, like, a Mr. Paris competition. So dudes and Speedos and stuff. Hell, which I don't. I don't mind a guy in a Speedo.
Tig Notaro
Like, I don't mind a guy out of a Speedo.
Fortune Feimster
Right. They're beautiful. Some beautiful bags out there.
Mae Martin
I love it.
Fortune Feimster
And we're just like, watching the. Watching the competition, and next thing I know, I'm like, on the ground.
Mae Martin
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
He said that my knees buckled and that I just passed out.
Mae Martin
Not heard this story.
Fortune Feimster
I thought about it forever, but I guess it was so packed that, like, my fall was, like, kind of gently, like by these greased up, all these gays just kind of broke my fall. And then I came to and my friends laughed, laughing hysterically. And I realized what happened. And he. He got me up really quick. And we run out of the bar and just are crying, laughing, walking out of this bar. And we went and got a crepe after. So, I mean.
Mae Martin
Yeah, you fainted from all these Speedos,
Fortune Feimster
I guess I was so excited about these Speedos. It was. Yeah. Like a Paris Magic Mike situation.
Mae Martin
I feel like people used to faint. Oh. Like Beetle Mania. Like that. It used to be more of a thing. I want to do it on the pod at some point in this episode. I'm gonna.
Fortune Feimster
Well, I bet that was the case because back then they just weren't exposed to much.
Mae Martin
Do you.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. You know, excitement.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So your. But their bodies may have just been in such shock that even like scary movies and stuff.
Mae Martin
Yeah, the Exorcist people are puking and freaking out and.
Fortune Feimster
But we're so desensitized now.
Mae Martin
Or like when Elvis moved his hips for the first time, everybody just fainted.
Tig Notaro
Not to bring up what's his name? The movie I saw recently, Forrest Gump.
Mae Martin
Oh yeah.
Tig Notaro
That's how Elvis learned how to dance.
Mae Martin
Oh, funny.
Tig Notaro
It was from Forrest Gump.
Mae Martin
Oh yeah.
Tig Notaro
Do you remember that? I forgot.
Mae Martin
You've just seen it for the first time.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I forgot. So this is my only reference point now.
Fortune Feimster
They made an impact.
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Tig Notaro
I have some really interesting news.
Fortune Feimster
Give it to us.
Tig Notaro
Got rid of Instagram.
Fortune Feimster
You did?
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
What made that happen?
Tig Notaro
Well, I went to the. Well, just to back up. I was. Believe it or not, I have never. The Met. The Met Galilee has never been on my radar.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
Tig Notaro
I'm not familiar.
Fortune Feimster
I assumed as much.
Tig Notaro
Okay, but you didn't.
Mae Martin
Did you know it existed or you hadn't really.
Tig Notaro
It sounds familiar, but it's something that. It's just like. But there's so much political with the Amazon and the rumblings around this one, so there's so much that I was seeing and I became very familiar with the Met situation and the polit. I was like, what is this event? What is. What is the meaning of it? What is the. What are the politics going on? Then I'm looking at people and I'm like, well, why is this person. And then I started to feel like.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, like sucked you in?
Tig Notaro
Well, yeah, I was like, why am I even looking at this?
Fortune Feimster
You know what?
Tig Notaro
I. This is not something that is my genuine interest.
Fortune Feimster
And you didn't seek it out?
Tig Notaro
Did not seek it out. It was served up to me. And I. And I. I felt like a tool.
Mae Martin
Yeah. Because now you're having a physiological response of like, ugh.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And I'm like. And I'm like having these conflicted ideas about these people and this idea, like, you know, and that's not to take away from any sort of politics around it or any point of view somebody might have. All for it. All for the discussion.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But I didn't like, what a tool. I felt like.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Because I walked right into what Instagram was wanting from me. So that happened.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Then I went to this festival where I was talking about the documentary and before that happened, I was talking to a very well known news correspondent person who shared with me how deeply, deeply into social media her child was.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, I think that's a big thing.
Mae Martin
Yeah. They're starting to make laws. Not in America, but elsewhere. They're making laws about ages and stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And there was something in our conversation and something in the look in her eyes that I really felt so, like, ugh.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And I left there and I just went, goodbye. And it started this chain reaction of thinking about relationships that I only have on social media, how much I've enjoyed looking at cute animals, but what's even better than going to an animal rescue?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, true.
Tig Notaro
You know, and so it started me on this whole spiral and as I said to Stephanie, I go, maybe I'll be back on, and I'll be promoting myself like crazy in a couple of days. But right now, I really am interested in what this is. Awakening.
Mae Martin
Yes.
Tig Notaro
Okay. But it started from the gala. This is very cool. What is that? Connecting with. For you?
Mae Martin
Just the.
Tig Notaro
Also, if I can say.
Mae Martin
Yeah, please.
Tig Notaro
I was on a panel talking about the documentary, which is. Look, I had my own wake up in 2012.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And you hope those things stay with you.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And then here I am working on a film around somebody who's having an awakening.
Mae Martin
Yeah. And then about being present in the world.
Tig Notaro
About being present. And then I'm, like, on a press tour talking about it. And then I'm like, am I. Have I really learned the lesson?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
You know, and so. And I'm not saying I have haven't that I have this figured out. It's just something I want to follow and see how it feels. And I want to challenge myself.
Mae Martin
Please challenge me to what's connecting for me. What's coming up for me is I'm really in awe because I'm like, I want to be vegan. I want to get rid of Instagram. I say these things all the time. My assistant, for my birthday, got me a brick that blocks your phone from all these things. Because. Because apparently I'm saying so much. God, I'm addicted. My sleep's bad. It's so miserable. It's so dark on there. And I know it's bad for me, but then.
Fortune Feimster
Wait, what's a brick?
Mae Martin
Oh, it's like a. I actually don't know. I haven't learned yet. But you put it on your phone, and I think it disables it for a certain amount of time or something like that. It's like a thing you can put, like, on your fridge, and it's like you almost, like, tap your phone with it, and then it will, like, disable your phone for a certain amount of time.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, so you can lock your phone. I did not know that was a
Tig Notaro
thing, because I didn't either.
Mae Martin
My problem is, like, I. Then I'm like, well, I'm in a shame spiral about it, and then that's not doing me any good. So then I try to let go of the, you know, regret about it and just do it in moderation, because I do really. I. I actually like staying in touch with people that I don't normally or like. And I. And for work. It's so, like, being on tour and stuff. It's so. There is, like, A sense of community sometimes. But, yeah. All those things you're saying, I deeply connect with. And I. I know I'm so addicted.
Tig Notaro
And look, I might find I. I get halfway down this road.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Of exploring what this woke up in me.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And be like, oh, this isn't manageable.
Mae Martin
Or there's like a way to do it that's bad because, like, you also
Fortune Feimster
need it for career stuff at times.
Tig Notaro
But I was also thinking, like, okay, I have projects and it's fun to announce them, but it's like, I also don't need to. You know what I mean? Like, it's not. I was really trying to get in touch with. Do I really need. Like, if I need to share something with somebody.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
You call them now.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. But I mean, really, like. But also people will see me in the TV show or the movie or. You know what I mean? And I don't know. I don't know. It's just something I'm exploring.
Fortune Feimster
It's a new journey.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I'm exploring it. I'm interested in this feeling. And I've had certain signs that have bubbled up before this where it just. Something didn't feel right or congruent. And I just thought especially. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And then I just thought, I'm just gonna do it. I'll live through this too, you know?
Mae Martin
Well, he post posted. Cause I can't.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, no, he posted via tag Y.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I'll let you know.
Mae Martin
Because the thing about the Met Gal is super interesting. Cause I feel the same where I'm suddenly like, all these people I love and now I have weird feelings about it, and I kind of wish I didn't even see it.
Tig Notaro
But it also leads into the thought of. Sure, you can have conflicted ideas of these choices, but also, I'm not living a perfect life.
Mae Martin
Yeah. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Everything I'm doing is not lined up and congruent with my thoughts and feelings and political beliefs. And so that's part of the wake up of People are complicated. You want to do good. People are complicated. And where is the gray?
Mae Martin
Cause you said before or we've talked about, like, it's. Yeah. With social media, when that becomes the metric of how political someone is. But you don't know what they're doing in there. But it's like, oh, who? That person didn't post that thing or didn't share that thing. And that doesn't actually reflect what they're doing.
Tig Notaro
You could be doing something. Boots on the ground, donating Cash and giving back in other ways. And that's just one way to get your voice out there is through social media. And of course it's massive. But it also becomes a junkyard. That part of what the person I was talking to was saying, you don't remember what you've seen, what you've read. It's in your brain and it translates to other parts of. Of your life where you're not fully clocking because of your.
Mae Martin
Yeah. I mean it is designed to be de. Wildly addictive. Like it's.
Fortune Feimster
And especially to like kids whose brains are not developed yet. Even more addictive. And what I've noticed with the young people that they've. They said that it gives them a false sense of community.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So that they think they are connected.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
But they're not hanging out with each other outside of school. And so not. Not of course, every kid.
Allstate Ad Voice
Right.
Fortune Feimster
Sometimes there's a number of kids who think they're being in touch with their friends because they talk to them on these game headsets or on the social media.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
They are having conversations, but it's all through tech. Yeah. They are not hanging out in person.
Tig Notaro
Well. And part of it is that you're not seeing an in person facial response that is connecting you human to human.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
That I think is really interesting because you're seeing it just on a flat
Mae Martin
screen and you think you're saying where I. I'm like, oh, that's part of how I stay informed. Because I do learn about world events on. On Instagram. But that's. Sure. But then how can I trust what I'm seeing? Like I should be informed in other ways. I should be reading.
Tig Notaro
But that's the other thing is how do you trust what's popping up?
Fortune Feimster
I was about to say that is that's becoming harder and harder. There are so many art tools popping up where I'm like, really? That happened?
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And then I go to the comments and they're like, AI, AI. And I'm like, oh my God.
Tig Notaro
Like, and is it really AI or is it people just saying that's AI? And so it becomes so confusing. And I think I've said like part of this crack in me.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Like I think I've said on the podcast where I go to post something and I'm like, who am I talking to? Like, what am I doing?
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Like, what am I? I'm like, hi, look at me.
Mae Martin
Yes.
Fortune Feimster
Sometimes you are real cute and funny on there sometimes. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
You really are. But I'm also. It reminds Me of like, one time, when my first comedy special came out years ago, friends of mine had a party for me and I was talking to my friend during the premiere of my special and she shushed me. She goes, shh, shh. And I was like, but I'm here right now. Like, I filmed that months ago.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Anyway, I like it because it makes. Even having the conversation. I think it's good because it makes you be honest with yourself about like. Yeah. What am I actually getting from it? Like, when I go to look at people's pages, am I looking at my best friend's pages or am I looking at someone I had an argument with a year ago because I'm curious what they're up to in a kind of high school way. You know what I mean?
Tig Notaro
For sure.
Mae Martin
It feeds a weird part of you because it's designed to do that. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And again, I might be back full throttle. Like, no one's ever seen me tomorrow
Fortune Feimster
posting TikTok by the time this comes out.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, might be. But I'm just. I'm curious about this road.
Mae Martin
Yeah, that's cool.
Fortune Feimster
You're going with your. How you're feeling right now, so feels.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Anyway, I thought I would share that.
Fortune Feimster
That's an interesting turn of events.
Mae Martin
I think I just. My first step is gonna be to. I just don't need to. I wish phones had a thing that would detect when you're scrolling.
Fortune Feimster
I think they do have a thing on there where you can limit your. In the settings where you can limit your usage.
Mae Martin
Oh, okay.
Fortune Feimster
And it informs you like you. You set how much you want to see.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
In a day. And when you've reached that limit, it tells you.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Now whether or not then that's up to you to then be like, okay, I reached my limit. Phones down. But it does at least. Least make you aware.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So you could look into that. It's in the same.
Tig Notaro
Maybe we could have Wellness Weekend.
Mae Martin
Yes. This is it. I'm so gung ho. I'm like, name the day and because. Yeah. Put our.
Tig Notaro
Are you really? Yes. Like, for how many days would you have a wellness weekend? How long is it as long as a weekend.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Is what two days?
Tig Notaro
Is it a long weekend?
Mae Martin
Friday night till Sunday evening.
Tig Notaro
Oh, okay.
Mae Martin
I'll do that.
Fortune Feimster
Sunday evening.
Tig Notaro
I'm free all of August and Fortune. Where are you on the interest level?
Mae Martin
Because we'll put our phones away.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I'll try my best, but
Tig Notaro
would you actually show up to Wellness Weekend?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. If you guys were serious about it. And it was a plan.
Mae Martin
What if we promise that we'll do content for the pod there and we'll get predictions.
Tig Notaro
I'll post it on my new account.
Mae Martin
Your secret account.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I. The only. The only thing I would want is to maybe like, you're vegan. Yeah, but I would probably want cheese. A shark. I don't need. I don't need the meat part of a charcuterie board. Just a cheese blade. As long as you're. Love that.
Tig Notaro
It's like, can I get a wheel of cheese?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, as long as you're okay with me eating a brick of cheese.
Tig Notaro
And would you be open to trying to meditate and journal and watch the sun come up journaling and share your feelings?
Podcast Announcer/Host
Oh, I would share.
Tig Notaro
Don't touch me.
Fortune Feimster
I would share feelings. Easy. I have no problem sharing feelings.
Tig Notaro
Great.
Fortune Feimster
And what if I just don't love pen to paper?
Mae Martin
Oh, you don't.
Fortune Feimster
My hand gets tight.
Tig Notaro
But guys, do you know what's oddly the most fun thought to me?
Mae Martin
What?
Tig Notaro
Is really waking up to watch the sunrise.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want that.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
Tig Notaro
Fortune stunned, we'd stay in our sweat.
Fortune Feimster
Lately I've been waking up much earlier, so that is not too far off.
Mae Martin
What if you catch us at sneaking out? I wake up and I sneak out.
Fortune Feimster
Going to the coffee shop. Can I still drink coffee? Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Can I decaf?
Mae Martin
What about a sneaky cigarette?
Fortune Feimster
A cigarette. You can have a cigarette on wellness weekend.
Tig Notaro
I know that this is terribly, terribly. It's gone sideways already.
Fortune Feimster
I eat a salad.
Tig Notaro
Fortune's gonna come and journal and eat
Fortune Feimster
a salad and a smoothie. As long as there's not berries in it.
Mae Martin
Well, we could do b. Potatoes. We could barbecue. Wait, baked potatoes?
Tig Notaro
Absolutely. May I? Promise. We can barbecue a baked potato.
Fortune Feimster
Love it.
Tig Notaro
No problem.
Fortune Feimster
But I would want sour cream on it. I know that's not vegan.
Tig Notaro
No, listen, listen.
Mae Martin
It would be a real gesture of like. Because I know we're all so busy.
Tig Notaro
So here. Here's the other thing. We could each orchestrate our wellness weekends. No, our different wellness.
Fortune Feimster
Like what we want and then like. Like decide as a group what it will entail.
Tig Notaro
No. We could have three different wellness weekends.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, my God.
Tig Notaro
I have to eat sausages and cheese wheels.
Fortune Feimster
I would never make you go and smoke a cigarette. I would never. Veganism.
Tig Notaro
I wouldn't.
Fortune Feimster
I know you wouldn't. But yeah, I mean, listen, I would
Mae Martin
make you guys do play game. Like maybe do an escape room or like.
Tig Notaro
And you know I hate a game.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But I would do It.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. We would all try something new.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
For each other.
Tig Notaro
This kind of thing is what gets me going.
Mae Martin
Me too. Because I like an agenda. I like working together.
Tig Notaro
Here's the other thing that I just want to say really fast that I was talking to Stephanie about today as far as, like, social media, taking on things, taking in things that you're not wanting and seeking yourself. And then I was realizing also, in the bigger picture of life that I'm trying to cram and wedge in places, I actually find real joy in life around the stuff that isn't bringing me joy. And so if you. My plan right now is to clear out the complications that are not bringing me joy. So that the priority. And I know this is. It's like a dream world, but for whatever I have control over to make conscious decisions of, I do wanna. Like, our son goes and takes an art class in Koreatown on the weekends. And whenever I go, he has so much joy. And I was like, man, I would love to take an art class here too, you know, not. Cause I'm an artist.
Mae Martin
I'm definitely craving routine like that. Like. Yeah. Like a weekly dinner with the same five people or bi weekly or whatever. Yes.
Fortune Feimster
You're kind of creating, like, community for yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
I've been thinking about that consciously.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. I had lunch with two of my, like, oldest friends from LA in that we've been friends for 20 years.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And I'm like, I want more of this, you know, Like.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
We just sat there for, like, almost two hours.
Tig Notaro
And don't you feel like you're trying to cram the good into.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, the.
Tig Notaro
The stuff that doesn't feel as good as.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And I'm just like, God, why don't we do this? Like, more. We just sat there outside the.
Tig Notaro
That's amazing.
Fortune Feimster
The restaurant and just chatted and. Yeah, it was.
Mae Martin
It was great.
Fortune Feimster
And then I made me realize, like, God, I'm always traveling. Always.
Mae Martin
I know. Working.
Fortune Feimster
I'm like, what is my community now? Because my life has changed so significantly in the last year. It's like, what does this look like going forward?
Tig Notaro
And you have.
Fortune Feimster
I'm still building it.
Tig Notaro
You. You have, like, a whole new map to create.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And. And house.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that too. Today we're talking about one of our favorite sponsors, Honey love.
Podcast Announcer/Host
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Mae Martin
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Mae Martin
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Podcast Announcer/Host
Wayfair Every Style Every Home in partnership with Airbnb, let's talk about our travel plans. May Did I tell you I'm planning a fishing trip with my brother?
Mae Martin
Yes, that's right. So what's the plan?
Fortune Feimster
Well, we are going to go with
Podcast Announcer/Host
a home that I found on Airbnb. I found a place that's right on the water with a sweet deck and a barbecue with a beautiful view. Plus there's a dock so we can park our boat when we're not out fishing.
Mae Martin
Fortune. That sounds dreamy well, you know, I
Podcast Announcer/Host
haven't mentioned this to my brother yet, but there's also a karaoke machine, so
Fortune Feimster
I don't know, is it weird to
Podcast Announcer/Host
do karaoke at the end of a long fishing day?
Mae Martin
No, that's so normal and so perfect. But here's my question. Is, are you going to be eating the fish that you're. That you're fishing?
Fortune Feimster
Honestly, I have no idea about that part. But this place does have an amazing
Podcast Announcer/Host
kitchen, so we're definitely going to be cooking something. And that's what I love about Airbnb. If we were staying at a hotel, we would not have any of these amenities, and we'd have way less space to just hang out with Airbnb. I know. We're going to be making some fun memories for life.
Mae Martin
Okay, well, I can't wait to hear how the trip goes. Have a blast. And if you're listening, check out Airbnb and go have an adventure. I feel like I'm still in the mindset of, like, saying yes to everything and. But. Yeah, and. And I'm so grateful and lucky and that. But then, yeah, I'm. I'm feeling it. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. You're seeking something. And it's obvious, because you've brought it up a lot on the podcast. Not too much.
Mae Martin
Have I?
Tig Notaro
No, I'm just saying you have brought it up.
Fortune Feimster
Just that you're seeking.
Maria Shriver
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
You're seeking nature and routine. Yeah, you've mentioned that.
Mae Martin
Have I?
Tig Notaro
Okay. Yeah.
Mae Martin
This is what therapy is. It's people going, oh, you said that before. And you go, oh, did I?
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Well, it just means it's clearly in you as a desire.
Tig Notaro
And that's where I'm going back and connecting these dots that I noticed where I was saying things like, I don't want to post, like, I don't even know who I'm talking to.
Mae Martin
Right.
Tig Notaro
You know, it started to feel confusing.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Anyway, it just was something that I wanted to share that I thought, I love it. You might be interested in.
Mae Martin
I love it.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah. Like, I have this. It's so embarrassing that I know. No, it's not embarrassing. These things are designed to be addictive. We're just little people flopping around.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
But it. Like that. I know the things that would make me feel like drinking more water, sleeping eight hours a night, not be on my phone as much. Like, I. I know the things, but it's just so hard to enact them. But I found I. When I lived with the child, I did. I. My lifestyle was a lot Slower. Time moved slower. It was really nice. So I know that's something I want because it does force you to be present or even just living with a partner. Like. Yeah, I'm left to my own devices. I will, I'll watch a lot of Survivor. I'll watch a lot of reality tv.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I eat a lot of turkey corn dogs from the frozen food section.
Mae Martin
Oh my God. My friend.
Fortune Feimster
That's what you do currently. Yeah.
Mae Martin
Turkey corn dogs are good though.
Fortune Feimster
Now that I'm living alone. Yeah, you're just kind of like, I don't need a cook sit down meal. I'm just gonna grab a turkey corn dog and put it in the air fryer.
Tig Notaro
I'm not great at a sit down meal.
Mae Martin
Really.
Tig Notaro
No, I'm eating on the fly.
Mae Martin
Ye.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, that's something I'd love to do differently.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Well, we have, you know, things to think about, y'.
Tig Notaro
All.
Mae Martin
Well, this is all gonna come up in Wellness Weekend. Like we're gonna be journaling about our, our dreams and aspirations.
Tig Notaro
I. I can't tell you how much I would really love to do it.
Mae Martin
Well, I was thinking about getting that place in Arrowhead again. It's so beautiful.
Tig Notaro
We can also use my office.
Fortune Feimster
I couldn't wait to get out of that. You like got there and we're already planning to go home and come back. I had to come back and then
Mae Martin
ordered like, I ordered a lot of stuff.
Fortune Feimster
$500 of Amazon stuff.
Mae Martin
That was really cool.
Tig Notaro
Which brings us back to the Met.
Mae Martin
I know. Oh my God.
Fortune Feimster
Full circle on that one.
Tig Notaro
Should we get to our guests?
Fortune Feimster
We should.
Tig Notaro
It's a good one.
Fortune Feimster
It is.
Mae Martin
Today's Question is brought to you by AT&T.
Tig Notaro
Today's Question Asker is a writer and journalist and the former first lady of California. She anchored the NBC Nightly News and won a Peabody for her reporting. She won two Emmys for producing the Alzheimer's project. Her award winning digital publication is Maria Shriver's Sunday paper. Maria Shriver is asking today's question.
Fortune Feimster
Woo hoo.
Tig Notaro
Hi.
Maria Shriver
Hey handsome. Hey handsome. It's Maria Shriver. Hey handsome. I like saying that. I actually say that to my boys. Hey handsome. Anyway, okay. Hey handsome. I digress. So thank you for having me on. Thank you for asking me to think of a question for you. So before I get to a question, because I have so many questions, I ask questions for a living. I ask questions of myself every day. So like, for me to have one question for you, you know, it's kind of almost impossible. So Lauren, who I Work with. She gave me some of these question ideas. If you could interview someone dead or alive, and then ask them one question, who would you interview, and what would you ask them? Wow, that's really good. Who would I interview, dead or alive?
Fortune Feimster
She looks great.
Tig Notaro
She does. She looks good.
Fortune Feimster
She's looking handsome.
Mae Martin
Yeah. That's a charismatic person.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Wow. Wow.
Fortune Feimster
Well, you can, you know, tell that she is a pro at asking questions. As she said, She's.
Tig Notaro
She's the real deal.
Mae Martin
Yeah. Seriously.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And I think she's also, you know, where she stands on most things, I would say. But she's also a reasonable human being is what I find her to be.
Mae Martin
Isn't the bar so low that we're like. And she's a reasonable human being?
Fortune Feimster
Because you never know.
Tig Notaro
I know a lot of people are not, but it's just. I really love a reasonable human being.
Mae Martin
Like, someone who. Who's open to amending their ideas or just who's like.
Fortune Feimster
Or at least hearing someone else. Yeah.
Mae Martin
Curious about people and. Yeah, that's cool.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Getting to the bottom of things.
Mae Martin
It's a really. It's like a. A classic question almost, but I don't think we've had it. But it's such a. I know.
Tig Notaro
I thought the same thing.
Mae Martin
Yeah. But it's very good.
Fortune Feimster
If you could interview anyone, was it Dead or Alive, who would you talk to?
Tig Notaro
What, the band Dead or Alive? Is that who you. No, that's not the band Dead or Alive.
Fortune Feimster
That's Bon Jovi.
Tig Notaro
Oh, I know. And that was really good, the way you went up with Alive.
Fortune Feimster
Thank you.
Mae Martin
Yeah, that was great.
Tig Notaro
Now Mae's trying to compete.
Mae Martin
That was good.
Fortune Feimster
Well, what about this?
Mae Martin
I think I know my answer.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
Mae Martin
And I'm surprised by my answer because I. I'm such a, like, fan of pop culture and, like, idolize all these people, but I think I'm going with my paternal grandfather, who I never met was my dad's dad, because I feel like my parents are still kind of mysteries to me in a lot of ways, like all of ours are, because you don't know what their childhood was like. And I've heard such great things about him, and he was an actor and really funny. And.
Tig Notaro
Was he related to your grandmother who's an agent?
Mae Martin
He was her wife.
Tig Notaro
He was her.
Maria Shriver
He said.
Fortune Feimster
No, wait, he went through that. Right.
Mae Martin
He was her husband.
Tig Notaro
I know. We're really open and flexible here on sexuality and gender.
Mae Martin
He was her husband.
Tig Notaro
Sorry.
Mae Martin
Yeah. My dad's dad.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
So, yeah. Yeah. The agent's husband and he, he was. He had these like big bushy eyebrows
Fortune Feimster
and he's love it already.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
And he was like a character actor. He'd pop up, have like little parts and things like, like. And whenever I see him in something, there's like four clips that I have. And he's. His comic timing is so good. He's like Peter Sellersy, you know, like Alec Guinness. Like that old.
Tig Notaro
What a shame if you had those eyebrows and had terrible delivery with your comedy.
Fortune Feimster
I know.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
What do you do?
Tig Notaro
You go pluck them, I guess.
Mae Martin
I guess you. Yeah, you shave them off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think, I think him. Because my mom, when she met my dad was. Well, she was Canadian. She came over to England and she was really self conscious, like all these kind of British people and they all went to good universities and we're all kind of verbose and like, look. Sort of look down their noses at like the commonwealth a little bit or just like, you know. But apparently he was so kind and just like anyone who walked in the room, he'd make them feel really comfortable and love it. Yeah. And I. I want to know what my dad was like and just. Yeah, chat to him. I know he was a very heavy drinker.
Fortune Feimster
So.
Mae Martin
Yeah, I'd sit maybe with a scotch and.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, Eyebrows was a heavy drinker.
Mae Martin
Eyebrows was a very heavy drinker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
You'd have to be in those days. You gotta. Well, and also the cartoon face and to carry.
Fortune Feimster
To carry those eyebrows.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, you gotta sit down with a drink.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
You know.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
If they even. They might have made him drink, you know, that might have been what pushed him to drink the brows. Yeah, he might have been like, this is a lot.
Fortune Feimster
Is there cultural or historical person you would want to interview?
Mae Martin
Napoleon? I have a lot of questions.
Tig Notaro
Oh, yeah, I love to see Mace. Can you imagine Napoleon?
Fortune Feimster
Napoleon, he would speak French, but y' all would have a translator, maybe.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he would. Would never speak English. He hated the Brits so much.
Fortune Feimster
Right. Well, that would be a cool person for you to interview, little translator.
Mae Martin
Yeah, the visual is pretty good. Yeah, me and. Me and old Napoleon. But he didn't like when people showered. He loved stinky people. So I'd have to.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Don't shower.
Mae Martin
That doesn't. It's not gonna fly with me because
Tig Notaro
you shower twice a day.
Mae Martin
Oh, yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah.
Tig Notaro
Kate Micucci.
Mae Martin
Does she.
Tig Notaro
She showers. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
My cooch is. I did go to the coochie doctor this morning. Yeah. All is Good. She said my. My cooch was great.
Tig Notaro
I went to the doctor today too.
Fortune Feimster
You did not for the cooch?
Tig Notaro
No, no.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah. I mean, listen, it wasn't something I was looking forward to, but it went fine. And when she, when she, she was down there and gave me a thumbs up. No, she didn't. Hey, it's looking good down here. But I was pretty happy, like, feeling good about what?
Tig Notaro
Clean as a whistle.
Fortune Feimster
Clean as a whistle.
Mae Martin
Can I change my answer and say I'd interview your gynecologist.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God.
Mae Martin
Now who would you interview? Fortune.
Fortune Feimster
I. So on a purse. I have personal and then historical. I would want to interview my grandfather because I never met him. He died unexpectedly when my mom was 17. And he was a very prominent. A contractor. And he built a lot of things around North Carolina, like schools and churches and houses that were really beautiful. And he built the house my grandmother lived in. And so I just have a lot of questions because I don't know him or that.
Mae Martin
And you'd fill in stuff about your mom and like, what do you know about his personality?
Fortune Feimster
No, I don't know a lot about him.
Tig Notaro
Anything about his eyebrows?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I don't know that either. I think he was very charismatic, very, very successful. And he and my grandmother were very philanthropic and.
Mae Martin
But then didn't you say. Now it's coming back to me that then after he passed, then there was no money, but there was a nice house or something.
Fortune Feimster
There was like. Yeah, well, he left them a lot of money. But things happened over the years, you know.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
Shopping sprees.
Fortune Feimster
So many shopping sprees. And then I would be curious to interview my grandmother's mom because she was the treasurer of Rutherford county in North Carolina, which was very unusual for a woman in those times. She was a widow and she, when she was campaigning, she had put her kids, my grandmother being one of them, in a donkey cart and would go around handing out flower flyers for her campaign. And the men around town were like pissed about it because they felt like she was trying to use her being a widow and her kids to make people feel sorry for her. But she kept, she kept getting reelected and kept the position for, you know, know, for a long time. And I just thought that was so cool that a woman in those days, because this is my grandmother's mother, that
Mae Martin
would be like 19.
Tig Notaro
So it's your great grandmother.
Fortune Feimster
Yes. Putting that together. But that was a long ass time.
Tig Notaro
I know it is. You need to yell at me about.
Fortune Feimster
Didn't happen with women and I think that's so badass.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
That's questions for her. And to know more about my grandmother as a kid.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And then historically, I mean, it would be kind of interesting to get to talk to Jesus.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Just because think of all the conflict that has surrounded the Bible.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Religion. I know this is news to you, but I would want to be like, what do you think about all this?
Mae Martin
Yeah. And like, what did you actually say? What were your direct words?
Fortune Feimster
What do you mean by this? What happened in this scenario?
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
What about what in the Bible has been, like, misinterpreted or. Or, you know, it was also like a game of telephone. The Bible. Of course, it's 400 years after he died. Right. So I think that would be a pretty good interview. That would be a good get.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God. If we could get Jesus on Handsome haw.
Fortune Feimster
Jesus, we need to interview you because
Podcast Announcer/Host
we have some questions.
Tig Notaro
Have you seen that guy that looks like Jesus in Los Angeles and Hollywood?
Fortune Feimster
He's. Well, he's. He's dead now. He's been dead for a while.
Tig Notaro
Oh, know.
Mae Martin
Wait, but there's so many guys that.
Tig Notaro
Look, there was a guy, a very
Fortune Feimster
prominent one for many, many years.
Tig Notaro
He wore a robe, had long hair and all.
Fortune Feimster
His name was Kevin.
Tig Notaro
And what would he do?
Mae Martin
Just walk around?
Tig Notaro
He wasn't crucified.
Fortune Feimster
No, it wasn't actually. I would have made the news. But he did die this. And it was a couple years ago.
Tig Notaro
Oh, that's sad.
Fortune Feimster
But he used to go to the Comedy Store a lot.
Tig Notaro
Oh, no, he was. He was just like a cool guy. I assumed I hadn't seen him because I got married and had kids and never saw anyone again.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Well, rest in peace, Kevin. Kevin's in Heaven. My ex girlfriend wrote a song called that.
Fortune Feimster
Kevin's in Heaven.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
About someone she knew. No way.
Tig Notaro
About her friend's friend named Kevin who passed away and she wrote Kevin's in Heaven. Oh, nice Kevin's in Heaven song that runs so far.
Mae Martin
We got grandparents Napoleon and Jesus. Napoleon actually is second only to Jesus in the amount of books that have been written about him because he's such a divisive, complex figure. Huh. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
We would have a lot of questions for them. Yeah. Yeah.
Mae Martin
But I'd probably go blank and be like, how are you?
Fortune Feimster
But I don't. Do you think Jesus would want to be on camera? Or he would be like, this is off the record.
Mae Martin
I think Jesus liked a bit of attention. I mean, he must. He was giving speeches and, you know, like, he Was. He was out there.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
I think he would have been, like, great. Get the message.
Fortune Feimster
I would want to ask him about gays.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I would be curious.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
To see what his thoughts were. He. He, you know, he could be like, no, thanks. Or he could be like, love is love.
Mae Martin
I feel like it'd be that. That was his whole message. Right. I mean.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, that's what I believe.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
He was friends.
Fortune Feimster
He was all. He was friends with all the outliers. Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah. A rebel.
Fortune Feimster
So I think that'd be a good get.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
How about you put them on the handsome pod?
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Podcast Announcer/Host
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
What you got?
Tig Notaro
Well, I mean, my. The. My personal one. I mean, my mother. Yeah. My mother. My mother died so unexpectedly, and. And I, you know.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
You didn't have time to ask all those questions.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, it's. It's that sad story of, like, God, I thought. I thought, you know.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
How old was she when that happened?
Tig Notaro
65.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Man, that's tough.
Tig Notaro
And so. Yeah, I have. So especially as I get older and now that I'm married and I'm a parent, it like, really came in big time for me, I'm sure.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Really came in big time.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
You know, I'd be curious to talk to my father, but my father was a little bit of a big talker.
Mae Martin
Right. And like, he'd get off on one. Like, he'd start talking and he'd be like, okay, we don't have a lot of time for this interview.
Tig Notaro
No, no.
Fortune Feimster
Like, I think up talking things.
Tig Notaro
Oh, gosh.
Mae Martin
Like, do you think he.
Tig Notaro
I had a character in my TV show, One Mississippi, that was my father, and in that he was a part of the Mississippi Mafia, which my father claimed to be. Remember I told you he carried a pistol and a knife in his cowboy boots?
Mae Martin
Yes, Pasquale.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, Pasquale Notaro. But sometimes I wasn't quite sure where it was, like, if that was the case. He liked to really, I think, embellish. Like, I think there were some real parts of his stories, but I think there were also. He liked to seem kind of like he was involved in some stuff.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And he had some stuff going on. And he can't talk about this, but I remember just sitting. He surprised me at a show in Virginia, and we went out to ihop, I told you. And he was telling me all these stories and there's something there, but it was also a little, like.
Mae Martin
A little.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, just like, just kind of something where I'm like, okay, what is real and what are you embellishing to make a really great story here. But I think more so than anything, my mother, because of everything marriage and children and family has brought up. And then, I mean, gosh, how great to sit down with Maria Shriver and just pick her break. You can do that, right? Right. I could do that. But, you know, actually, who really pops up for me is I am endlessly blown away by the mind of Emily Saliers.
Fortune Feimster
I just had lunch with her.
Tig Notaro
I know.
Fortune Feimster
That's so funny.
Tig Notaro
As a songwriter, what she does, I think is extraordinary. I think it is extraordinary, and I just would love to. I could never understand what she does or how she does it, because it is that gift. But I'm truly in awe. I'm truly in awe.
Mae Martin
I bet she'd feel the same about stand up like musicians.
Tig Notaro
She said that before. She's like, well, how do you do what you do? Yeah, I'm in awe of what you do.
Fortune Feimster
Have a lunch where you guys.
Tig Notaro
I like, I don't, I don't want to talk about me. I truly just want to be like Emily.
Fortune Feimster
Ask her a bunch of questions.
Tig Notaro
I have. But she's, like, reflected.
Fortune Feimster
She's very humble.
Tig Notaro
Very humble.
Mae Martin
And she's like, commit to, like, having to answer.
Fortune Feimster
Tooting her horn a little bit. She's like, no, no, no.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Right.
Tig Notaro
But like, I, I don't like. It's so, so many people you can write and look, I love a love song.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But so much about the world and life and experiences, thoughts, feelings that aren't typical. Obvious themes she'll write about and make it rhyme.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And make it catchy. And I'm just. I mean, obviously Amy Ray, the other part of the Indigo Girls, brings the entire other half of this, but I'm just talking from, like a. Yeah. The poetic side of Emily.
Mae Martin
Isn't it funny?
Tig Notaro
Relentlessly blows my mind.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
It makes me laugh. Like, what suckers we are for rhyming as human beings. Like, you put a, put a sentiment but make it rhyme. Then people are getting tattooed. It's like just, it stays with you. If it rhymes, it's like it burns it into you. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But also, sometimes she doesn't rhyme. Yeah, whatever.
Fortune Feimster
And we're like, no, thanks.
Mae Martin
I mean, Alanis Morissa is up there for me just because of. I, I, I'd want to ask her about spirituality and. Yeah. Songwriting and just what the, what her 90s was like and. Yeah. Yeah, that would be up there for me.
Fortune Feimster
Well, I think we're gonna see Emily moving into even more writing because you know, she shared. Yeah, she and Amy shared on social media.
Tig Notaro
Right.
Fortune Feimster
About Emily's having some health complications that's affecting her voice. And so they're figuring that out. But, yeah, I can see a world in which she really leans into writing even more, which will be. See what she comes out with.
Tig Notaro
I'm here for anything this woman writes.
Fortune Feimster
That's right.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I am. Whether. Yeah, I'm all in. Should we see what Maria has to say? Yes.
Maria Shriver
Well, I'd probably interview Mary.
Mae Martin
I really thought she was gonna do it.
Maria Shriver
The Virgin Mary?
Fortune Feimster
Yes.
Maria Shriver
I have so many questions for her. Yes, I have a lot of questions for Mary from the very beginning, all the way to the very end. I mean, I have so many. You must have some questions for Mary. I don't even know if I can get into all the questions I have for her. Bye, handsome.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, Mary would be a good one, too. Oh, yeah.
Tig Notaro
Mary and Jesus.
Fortune Feimster
There's a lot of mystery around that. Come on.
Tig Notaro
That could be your regular weekly dinner. Oh, Mary and Jesus are coming over for spaghetti.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Dig into things a little bit more each week. Yeah.
Mae Martin
We give him. He turns the water to wine. We got him a little touchy.
Fortune Feimster
That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that.
Mae Martin
He'd be a cheap date. You just need one fish, right?
Fortune Feimster
He would.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
He doesn't seem like he would eat much.
Tig Notaro
Oh, yeah. And you fish. You can bring the fish.
Fortune Feimster
That's right. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I used to fish anyway. Well, I have to say, complete delight.
Allstate Ad Voice
Delight.
Mae Martin
Absolute delight.
Tig Notaro
It never ever isn't a delight to do this in person.
Mae Martin
I know in a perfect world, it would always be in person. It is so. It is so nice.
Fortune Feimster
I'm gonna kiss your actual hand.
Tig Notaro
Fortune kissed my hand.
Fortune Feimster
Did you just m Me? I've never done. No, no, no. I'm sorry.
Mae Martin
It's just gonna. Please, Please. Thank you, Portia.
Fortune Feimster
I gotta. Well, because my hand was tried, I thought.
Mae Martin
And I thought you probably don't.
Podcast Announcer/Host
Oh, I have to reach
Mae Martin
because you
Fortune Feimster
thought, oh, now I gotta kiss you.
Tig Notaro
Got it from May. And then I didn't actually kiss your hand. I kissed mine. So you didn't get.
Fortune Feimster
I didn't get much of anything from this.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Next time.
Tig Notaro
Well, you always got your corn dogs waiting for you.
Fortune Feimster
You have a turkey corn dog and
Tig Notaro
your tits out tub.
Fortune Feimster
Tits out tub.
Tig Notaro
Well, that was. That was a real delight.
Fortune Feimster
It was.
Mae Martin
And I wish we all lived together in a big house with a fireman's pole. And we slide down in the morning.
Tig Notaro
We can do that on wellness Weekend.
Fortune Feimster
You sure can.
Tig Notaro
I can put a wellness. A wellness pole, a poll at my office. If we, if we stay there for wellness weekend.
Mae Martin
I think if we're doing it, we should go to nature. That's my feeling. If we're in la, we're gonna be tempted.
Tig Notaro
You've seen the backyard of my office.
Mae Martin
It is pretty beautiful. Yeah, that's true.
Tig Notaro
Anyway, either way, I would love a
Fortune Feimster
Palm Springs Wellness Weekend.
Mae Martin
I'd do that. Or Joshua Tree.
Tig Notaro
It's a little hot now. All of my tour dates you can find@tignotaro.com Please go there and check it out.
Fortune Feimster
I'm gonna be in Europe soon with Berlin, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, London and Dublin. My mom will be a few of those. And then back in the States, Rochester, Minnesota. Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Detroit and somewhere else. Omaha. Huh?
Mae Martin
Nice. Yeah, I am. What I know is June 10th, I'm at Largo in LA and then I'm doing two music festivals this summer. I've never done a music festival.
Tig Notaro
That's so exciting.
Mae Martin
And one of them's in Yellow Knife and it's going to be.
Fortune Feimster
Where's Yellow Knife going?
Tig Notaro
Swan.
Mae Martin
Like the Northwest Territories, I think in Canada.
Fortune Feimster
Okay, that's.
Mae Martin
But it's like.
Tig Notaro
Oh yeah, that's in our country.
Mae Martin
Daylight, 24 hours. It's one of those. Yeah, it's going to be surreal. And then the other one, Yellow Night.
Fortune Feimster
Now I know where that is.
Mae Martin
Yellow Knife in July. And also I'm going to play in Guelph, Ontario. I'm doing another music festival in.
Fortune Feimster
I've been to Guelph. You've been to Guelph? I filmed there.
Mae Martin
A lot of my friends went to university there. It's really nice.
Tig Notaro
I want to go to.
Mae Martin
You'd like it.
Tig Notaro
I've never heard of it, but what a great name.
Fortune Feimster
I know I kept pronouncing it wrong,
Mae Martin
but what were you saying? Gulf.
Fortune Feimster
Gulf.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And yeah, we've filmed in a little cute. There's a cute little downtown.
Mae Martin
Yeah, really nice. I've never done a music festival. So if you're near Yellow Nun Knife or Guelph, like the nightmare is you're playing outside and there's 20 people. Right.
Fortune Feimster
So please don't do that to me.
Mae Martin
Don't do that to me.
Fortune Feimster
Don't do that to me in Europe either. I need our European handsome folks.
Tig Notaro
How do people get sleep? They just wear eye masks.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Or. Or blackout curtains.
Mae Martin
Blackout curtains, I guess. Yeah. It's gonna be wild.
Tig Notaro
And that's year round in Guelph.
Mae Martin
Well, winter it's dark all the time.
Tig Notaro
Oh. Oh, okay.
Mae Martin
Yeah. I mean, Iceland's the same, right?
Tig Notaro
I don't know.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I'll get there.
Tig Notaro
Bjork on the horn.
Fortune Feimster
It went. It got dark in Iceland around 10pm when I. When I was there.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Well, that's when you head in for the night, anyway.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. What a podcast.
Tig Notaro
Share episodes with your friends if. If you love this one, which I think you did.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Share it. Help build our community and rate review.
Mae Martin
And don't forget, you can now watch us on Hulu a day earlier than YouTube if you're. If you're fiending.
Podcast Announcer/Host
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And you are.
Fortune Feimster
We'll see you there. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And until next time, keep it handsome.
Podcast Announcer/Host
Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster,
Fortune Feimster
Tig Notaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouelette.
Podcast Announcer/Host
Email us@handomepodmail.com and follow us on social media at Handsomepod.
Fortune Feimster
What a podcast.
Mae Martin
What a podcast. That was a Headgum podcast.
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Tig Notaro
Didn't see that coming.
Allstate Ad Voice
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Podcast Announcer/Host
Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds.
Fortune Feimster
You're in good hands with Allstate.
Podcast Announcer/Host
Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
Tig Notaro
Hi, I am Mandy Moore.
Fortune Feimster
Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.
Tig Notaro
Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is Us.
Fortune Feimster
That's right.
Tig Notaro
We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.
Fortune Feimster
Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?
Podcast Announcer/Host
A whole lot.
Fortune Feimster
That's what I'm hoping. Man. Listen to that was Us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.
Podcast: Handsome
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Episode Date: May 19, 2026
Guest: Maria Shriver
This episode of Handsome centers around the insightful and thought-provoking question submitted by acclaimed journalist Maria Shriver: "If you could interview anyone, dead or alive, and ask one question, who would you interview and what would you ask?" The hosts—Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin—delve into personal memories, funny tangents, and the deeper meaning of connection both on and off the internet. Along the way, they discuss everything from wardrobe choices and wellness routines to the nature of social media addiction and building real-world community.
Question: If you could interview anyone, dead or alive, and ask just one question, who would it be and what would you ask?
The episode is a classic Handsome blend: sincere, meandering, and irreverently funny. The hosts are open about their vulnerabilities, habits, and the oddities of their lives, making serious themes like family loss, social media addiction, and existential curiosity feel approachable and relatable.
This episode stands out as a heartfelt meditation on presence, connection, legacy, and curiosity. Maria Shriver’s incisive question prompts thoughtful, personal stories blending humor and emotional resonance. The conversation threads together issues of digital fatigue, old-fashioned community, and the fantasy of asking just one clarifying question of the people—famous or familial—who shape us most.
Listen for: