Martha Kelly asks about The Chipmunks

Summary

Handsome – "Martha Kelly asks about The Chipmunks"

Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Episode Date: June 16, 2026
Question Asker: Martha Kelly
Theme: If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one of the Chipmunks—Alvin, Simon, or Theodore—which would you choose, and why?

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Handsome" kicks off with a characteristically playful and wide-ranging catch-up between hosts Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin before welcoming comedian and actor Martha Kelly, who presents a delightfully oddball question: which Chipmunk would you pick as your island companion (and no, this "contract" is not optional)? Along the way, the trio navigates topics from run-ins with Paul McCartney, the interpersonal drama of Survivor 50, healthy eating vs. European cheese binges, celebrity fandoms, and reflections on the comfort of history’s horrors—before diving deep into Chipmunk logic.

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Notable Discussion Segments & Highlights

Catching Up: Travels & Wellness

• Tig’s Orlando gig and Fortune’s European travel plans:

  • [03:00] Fortune preps for a trip to Europe with her mother, debating the appropriate amount of jackets and sweaters.
  • [04:55] Fortune details healthy habits she’s started pre-vacation:

    "I went to the farmer's market and bought a bunch of stuff to make myself cook for the rest of the week... and I lost like £3 for a week of eating like that." — Fortune

• Burns in the quest for health:

  • [05:47] Fortune recounts burning herself with the oven:

    "It almost made me be like, why am I doing this? But I knew the benefits would outweigh me getting burned." — Fortune

Celebrity Encounters: Meeting Paul McCartney

• Tig at the Colbert Finale:

  • [08:28] Tig recounts appearing on Stephen Colbert's final show, where she not only met Paul McCartney but also sang “Hello, Goodbye” with him.

    "Not just close to him. I met him. And I also got to sing 'Hello Goodbye' with him." — Tig [09:28]
    "The feeling I had more than anything... was like, oh, we've been waiting for this moment our whole life." — Tig [10:25]

• Fortune's McCartney moment at SNL:

  • [12:03] Fortune also met McCartney at SNL's finale, relishing his soft hands and sharing rumors of a celebratory joint:

    "He pulled out, allegedly, a little joint... And I was like, yeah, get it." — Fortune [12:47]

• [11:00] Discussion of Paul’s ageless “sexy cool hair” and general McCartney awe.

  "He looks incredible. He's 83 years old." — Tig [11:00]

Mae’s Survivor 50 Pilgrimage

• [17:08] Mae gushes about witnessing the Survivor 50 finale with Parvati ("the queen of Survivor"):

  "This season of Survivor 50 was Shakespearean... these returning players who are like Greek gods on Mount Olympus..." — Mae [17:17]
  "It was big for me." — Mae [21:35]

  • The finale’s battle between a MAGA bodyguard and the relatable, vulnerable Aubry; themes of social manipulation, adaptability, and hope.

• [22:00] Tig empathizes and asks about social lessons from Survivor:

  "What have you walked away with?" — Tig
  "The main lesson I've learned is that the people who win are the most adaptable, fluid people... you make your own luck, you know?" — Mae [22:49]

Digital Detox & Social Media Sabbaticals

• Tig’s disconnect:
  • [29:35] Tig explains life sans social media, now using only an Apple Watch:

    "It's been such a nice experiment... I just feel... I'm enjoying the distance from everything and taking in the real world very differently." — Tig [30:14, 31:24]

History Deep-dives & Dark Comfort

• [37:37] Mae swaps out true crime podcasts for World War I and French Revolution podcasts:

  "Things feel so cruel sometimes now, and then you're like, oh, it's always been really. It's always, always the trend." — Mae

• [38:30]

  "There's so much dreadful history in the world... it is oddly reassuring to know that it's always been bad." — Tig

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Main Question: "Which Chipmunk Would You Pick?"

[43:27] Martha Kelly, in a voice memo, delivers the episode’s question:

"If you were trapped on a desert island with one of the Chipmunks, would it be Alvin, Simon, or Theodore? ...Not hypothetical. I have already paid the contract. You are each going to be kidnapped and stranded on a desert island. So please answer seriously because your future depends on it." — Martha Kelly [42:54]

Hosts' Immediate Reactions

• Fortune: "I don't want to be on a desert island. I'm too fair-skinned." [43:27]
• Mae: "I like the idea that if you’re kidnapped on an island, no one could be mad at you." [43:35]

Assessing the Candidates

• Quick rundown of Chipmunks ([46:15–47:17]):

  • Alvin: The impulsive, fun-loving leader—greedy but loyal.
  • Simon: The intelligent, cautious middle child (Einstein-level IQ, dry wit, chess master).
  • Theodore: The youngest, sweet, naive, easy target but a peacemaker.

• Comparisons draw-outs:

  • "It feels like a version of the Golden Girls situation." — Tig [46:17]
  • "You don’t want someone greedy... I think you want—I'm going with Theodore. Even though he's serious." — Mae [47:39]

• Fortune chooses: Simon.

  "I want Simon because he's so smart." — Fortune [47:53]

• Mae, after facts, switches to: Simon

  "Oh my God, you’re right. Okay, I'm going Simon as well. Sorry." — Mae [48:07]

• Tig originally takes Alvin:

  "I take Alvin." — Tig [46:08]

Chipmunk Survival Logic

• "We don’t need to get along. We just need to survive." — Fortune [48:18]
• "I just feel like Alvin wouldn’t really want to contribute... they usually have gotten by on their personality and they haven't had to do anything." — Fortune [55:14]
• "I have to laugh and have a good time in order to survive. That’s gonna keep me going..." — Tig [55:08]

Martha Kelly's Own Answer

[55:42]

"I chose Theodore. I do feel like he would be my soulmate. I love all three of the chipmunks, but Theodore and I have a shared passion for pizza and cookies and Cheetos and just sitting around having a great time." — Martha Kelly

• Tig realizes Martha isn’t vegan anymore ("She’s off the potato wagon too, apparently." — Tig [56:19])
• The group muses about the nutritional wisdom of a potato-only diet and the logistics of finding potatoes on tour.

---

Animal Tangents: Fortune at the Zoo

• Fortune visits the Atlanta Zoo and becomes "childlike," finding joy in animals (especially orangutans and monkeys):

  "I couldn't believe how childlike I became at the zoo going like, look, look at the orangutan over there." — Fortune [50:16]

• On reptiles: "Really not into those." — Fortune [52:05]

• On chipmunks: "They could get to the places you can’t get to..." — Mae [53:27]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On meeting Paul McCartney:

  "We've been waiting for this moment our whole life." — Tig [10:25] "He pulled out, allegedly, a little joint... And I was like, yeah, get it." — Fortune [12:47]

• On Survivor:

  "Every day is a new day. You could completely turn the game around." — Mae [23:30]

• On digital detox:

  "For right now, I'm just really enjoying the distance from everything and taking in the real world very differently." — Tig [31:24]

• On the Chipmunks question:

  "We don’t need to get along. We just need to survive." — Fortune [48:18]

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Takeaways & Running Themes

• Survival, both on TV and hypothetical islands, is about adaptability and the mix of intellect, joy, and practicality.
• The hosts' personalities shine: Tig seeks good company and humor, Fortune values smarts and usefulness, Mae overthinks alliances and logistics.
• Pod friendships run deep—and their mutual love for pop culture yields hilarious, affectionate tangents.
• Ultimately, the desert island Chipmunks scenario stands as a metaphor for personal preference: who do you need with you when things get real? Someone smart, reliable, or someone with snacks and good vibes?

---

Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------| | 03:00 | Fortune’s Europe plans, pre-vacation health| | 08:28 | Tig’s Paul McCartney story | | 12:03 | Fortune’s SNL Paul McCartney story | | 17:08 | Mae on Survivor 50 finale | | 22:00 | Survivor social dynamics discussion | | 29:35 | Tig’s Apple Watch/digital detox | | 37:37 | Mae on comfort in dark history | | 42:54 | Martha’s Chipmunks question arrives | | 46:15 | Chipmunks character breakdown | | 55:42 | Martha’s answer—chooses Theodore | | 50:16 | Fortune at the zoo, joy in animals |

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Episode Tone & Closing Thoughts

The episode is warm, irreverent, occasionally chaotic, and always affectionate. Like the best sleepover chats, it blends real-life vulnerability with random pop culture, honest snack talk, and the ridiculous hypothetical. Even if you missed the show, you’ll feel like you were hanging out on their conversational island—and maybe still pondering: who’s your Chipmunk?

Transcript

[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod.

[Tig Notaro]

Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. We're taking Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everyone. We're taking Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

And May. There's May.

[May Martin]

I'm taking Fortune of May.

[Tig Notaro]

Use your eyes.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're together again.

[May Martin]

Hello.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, we are.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm in Orlando.

[May Martin]

Hey, quick Disney trip.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nice. Yeah.

[May Martin]

You going to Disney Solo Disney jaunt You.

[Tig Notaro]

You know me. I'm doing a corporate situation.

[May Martin]

Love it. Yeah, Love it. An Orlando corporate situation. Doesn't get better than that.

[Tig Notaro]

No, it doesn't.

[May Martin]

I'm back home. Fortune. You're south.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yep, I'm about to.

[Tig Notaro]

You're in your Southern chair.

[Fortune Feimster]

As of this recording, I'm headed to Europe.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

And next time I talk to you guys, I'll let you guys know how that went.

[Tig Notaro]

And this is with your mother.

[Fortune Feimster]

She. She'll be there for half of it. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. So are you excited?

[May Martin]

It's hard to know what to pack for. I. I was just there. I was just in England.

[Fortune Feimster]

The temperature seems a little cooler than I would have expected. It's like, low of 50, high of 60. I just thought it would be a bit warmer. But I have a little cut, a little jacket I'm bringing with me.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, that's adorable. What about a little turtleneck?

[Fortune Feimster]

I have a little sweater.

[Tig Notaro]

And what about some earmuffs? Ear muffs and a turtleneck?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think any earmuffs. It's not that cold. But.

[Tig Notaro]

I know, but it'd be adorable.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know it would be, but, yeah. So I. I'm here in the south as the halfway journey.

[May Martin]

Right. If you're in the UK and you need a haircut, will you promise us you'll go see Debbie? Because I. I was just there for four days for a wedding, and I was so tempted to just pop in on Debbie, and I didn't have time,

[Fortune Feimster]

but, God, I know.

[May Martin]

I wanted to see.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm only there for a night, so I really don't have time, but it would be. I feel like Tig is the one who needs to have this Debbie experience. Oh, wait, you did. Oh, you actually did go.

[May Martin]

Debbie went to take show, Actually. Fortune. Would you mind if I don't pay attention? Would you mind if I reached out to Debbie and asked if she wanted to go to your show?

[Fortune Feimster]

Ask away. I'll get her a ticket.

[May Martin]

She'd love it. She'd love it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

She needs to have a commercial that. That where the theme song is Go see Debbie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

You won't be disappointed. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I'm excited. I. I gonna. I'm gonna eat a lot of cheese and a lot of pastries, and then when I get home, I need to go on a health kick.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

What does that look like?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I started before this, and everyone and I posted about it, and everyone's like, tig would be so proud. I went to the farmer's Market because they said I was, like, one step closer to getting ready for the wellness weekend.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

I went to a farmer's market and bought a bunch of stuff to make myself cook for the rest of the week.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I bought tons of veggies. That's the part they said you would be super stoked about. And just made myself every meal. And I lost, like £3 for a week of eating like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow.

[May Martin]

Did you find it, like, can you cook? Did you find it easy to cook?

[Fortune Feimster]

I did get better as I went. I felt like I started to find a groove. However, I did burn myself.

[May Martin]

Oh, my gosh.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, that's a gnarly one, right?

[Tig Notaro]

That is.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's a gnarly one.

[Tig Notaro]

What do you say when you have pain instantly? Owie, owie.

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Ouchie, ouchy, ouchy.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was an honest mistake. The oven had stuff going on in the oven. I was up top, nothing was going, and I dropped a sweet potato and I went to get it and didn't realize the top of the oven was super hot.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you call that an honest mistake?

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do honest mistake.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was an honest mistake, not a liar mistake.

[May Martin]

And yeah, every part of that oven's gonna be pretty hot.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't think about that, mate.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't cook a lot, and it got me. I've been putting scar lotion on it every day. And newest.

[Tig Notaro]

Born in the beginning and done vitamin E. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I need a little aloe plant in my house.

[May Martin]

It's a real.

[Tig Notaro]

I think vitamin E helps with, you know, burn scarring stuff.

[May Martin]

That's a. That's a real burn.

[Fortune Feimster]

It almost made me be like, why am I doing this? But I knew the benefits would outweigh me getting burned.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But yeah, I ate a lot of veggies, you guys.

[Tig Notaro]

What kind of vegetables?

[Fortune Feimster]

Sweet taters, broccolini onions, Brussels sprouts, red regular onion and a red onion. I got a nice piece of salmon that I made throughout the week. That's not a veggie. I know this.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I got some really good chicken breast. Hello. And just in a spring salad. And tomato. Little cherry tomatoes.

[May Martin]

Oh, that sounds great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hearts of palm.

[Tig Notaro]

We'd love to come over.

[Fortune Feimster]

Made a salad. Carrots. Oh, I made. I got a bunch of carrots. The tri color ones.

[May Martin]

Oh, I love those. Oh, tri color carrot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Tri color carrots. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

It makes you feel like orange, purple.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You feel like a gourmet when you're doing that. It's.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. So like A purple carrot. And I just. Throughout the week, I was like, what do I have? Let me just figure out something with this stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it's divine.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. Go me the pillar of health. But now I'm about to blow it in Europe. But when I get back, I'm gonna do. Do what I did again.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, your wheels of cheese. Yeah.

[May Martin]

And then when you get back, it's. It's time to prep for Wellness Weekend. It's time to start prepping.

[Fortune Feimster]

Time to start prepping, y'. All.

[May Martin]

I feel like we have so, so many updates for each other. Like, I. I want to know about. Tig was at Stephen Colbert's last show. I want to know about that. Oh, yeah, I went to the Survivor 50 finale.

[Fortune Feimster]

What?

[May Martin]

Talk about that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. We have so much to update.

[May Martin]

Tig, how was it?

[Tig Notaro]

How was Colbert? Yeah, it was really fun. They were trying to get me on the second to last episode.

[May Martin]

That's funny.

[Tig Notaro]

But I was filming, and it was. It was not looking promising for a while there, and I just kind of was like, I'm just gonna let go and let God. And then I got a call, you know, a few days before saying they're gonna put you on the finale. And I was like, oh, heck, yeah. And it was fun. It was. You know, your buddy Paul McCartney was the guest.

[May Martin]

This is what I want to know about.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And Elvis Costello was the musical guest.

[May Martin]

O. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Ryan Reynolds. Bryan Cranston.

[May Martin]

Can we go back to Paul McCartney for a sec?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, sorry. So you were.

[May Martin]

You were in the same room. Miss him? Like, closer than you, than you've ever been.

[Tig Notaro]

Not just close to him. I met him. And I also got to sing hello Goodbye with him.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. I don't want to may. I don't want to pile on. And you guys can keep discussing this, but I also met him at the Sarnat Live finale. I'll be. Be right back.

[Tig Notaro]

Keep. What do you mean?

[May Martin]

Is he just going to everything these days?

[Tig Notaro]

He's making his rounds. He is making his rounds, but he is avoiding you in his rounds.

[May Martin]

Did you. Did you feel emotional when you met him?

[Tig Notaro]

I can't say I felt emotional, but I was such a fan as a child. Yeah, I mean, I'm still such a fan, but it was my fantasy to be the fifth Beatle, even though John Lenn had been killed the year before. You know, I was just in my own world. I'm going to be the fifth Beatle. And so having loved this band obsessively my whole Life. The feeling I had more than anything when I met. When I met him was like, oh, we've been waiting for this moment our whole life.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Martha Kelly]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And so it just. It felt like, you know, when we said hello and shook hands, I was like, ah, finally we met in person.

[May Martin]

Oh, God. This is what I would feel, too. But what were his hands like?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm very soft, actually.

[Tig Notaro]

Really? Yeah. Yeah. And he looks incredible. He's 83 years old. He's just. He's still got that, like, you know, sexy cool hair and sexy cool face facial hair, and he's rocking it, you know?

[May Martin]

And I can't believe you sang. You say yes, that's pretty great. I say no.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And that's. So I was thinking, also in my nep. In, like, a Netflix special, I think it was in, like, 2019, I had the Indigo Girls on there.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

So I've played with the Indigo Girls and I've sung with Paul McCartney. And so I'm just going through and checking off all of my faves, slowly but surely.

[May Martin]

And did you get him? Did you tell him about me? Did you have a. Did I come up?

[Tig Notaro]

He asked about you. Yeah. As soon as I met him, he was like, don't mess with me, girl. Tell me all about. Oh, my gosh. May's kind of believing it. May just said, don't mess with me.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's so funny because we had just talked on a prior episode about how none of us had met him and Tigging met him. And then within a week, Tig and I both met him. I went to the finale of SNL where he was a musical guest. And so I watched him sing a bunch of these Beatles songs at the end.

[May Martin]

A bunch of these Beatles.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then afterwards, I was like, I gotta. Like. I gotta say hi to him. Yeah. And so he. He, like, was about to walk by me, and then he stopped to talk to Emma Stone for a long time. And I was like, oh, man, I'm never gonna meet him. And then he walked by and I just, like, shook his hand. I was like. And I was like, you're great. Like, he's never heard that before.

[May Martin]

You're great.

[Fortune Feimster]

And he had very, very soft hands. And. And then he was, like, having fun and dancing with his family. And at some point, he pulled out, allegedly, a little joint. I think that's neither that or it's. But I'm pretty sure it was a joint. And I was like, yeah, get it.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. Like, I'm smiling and I'm so full of Joy. But I'm having like slight flashback to the Alanis feelings.

[Tig Notaro]

Just because of course, of course.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like I didn't, at least I didn't sing with him. So I'm off the hook for that one.

[May Martin]

But I trust, I trust I live in and let God or whatever. I, I'm, I trust the universe's timing. I'm like, I will have my moment. I have to.

[Tig Notaro]

Because to me you might not.

[May Martin]

I saw.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know, I know, I know.

[Tig Notaro]

I might not. Let's be honest, you probably won't. Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

God.

[May Martin]

I know. Like it's.

[Fortune Feimster]

But you never know. I mean, I didn't think I was going to meet him when we.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, look, I'm a little surprised how many Beatles I've tripped over in my life. I, you know, seeing Ringo at Erewhon grocery store and then eating dinner next to Paul at a vegetarian restaurant and then finally meeting him in New York. That's a lot of running into the Beatles, you know, in a lifetime.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it really is. It feels.

[Tig Notaro]

Considering half of the band is gone.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You know, it feels like, like, I don't know. He's representative. It's like, like meeting him is like a glimpse of a whole other timeline. It's like, yeah, he was the defining figure of a whole era, but the fact that he's still so with it and energized and performing. He's doing three hour concerts and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh, man. Yeah. Last night my friend was like, maybe you don't want to meet him. Maybe it would ruin it. And I was like, absolutely not. I, I know it wouldn't ruin it. I've seen. I know enough about him that he's a nice guy and I could.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it wouldn't ruin it.

[Fortune Feimster]

He just, he did seem really nice. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, absolutely.

[May Martin]

Well, I'm happy for you guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

He's just kind of like, hey, hey.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's exactly right. And that's how he's always been.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune is not known for her Paul McCartney impression. Let's be honest.

[May Martin]

You know, I, I actually, I would have guessed music. Let's walk. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the ingredients on that bottle of lotion I just dolloped onto my hands. Big regret. I'm famously allergic to coconut. So you think I would have learned by now that coconut oil is in seemingly everything.

[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

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[May Martin]

That's $30 off your first box and free Croissants for Life when YOU visit wildgrain.com handsome or you can use promo code Handsome at checkout I la last so the the equip. Luckily, I mean if I'm on the spectrum in any way, which I'm sure I am, like my hyper fixations are the Beatles and Survivors up there and so at least I got to go to Survivor 50 finale. Yeah. And it was like, I know you guys are not gonna emotionally connect with this the way I did, but this season of Survivor 50 was Shakespearean in that this is decades of interpersonal relationships between these contestants, these returning players who are like Greek gods on Mount Olympus that fight amongst themselves and you know, flirt and fight in the but they're like a dysfunctional family and they are so human. Like their hubris always gets to them and we, we like root for them and then we watch them crumble and oh my God this season was like a coliseum. It really is like. Yeah. And so to be there. And so you've got the cast of that season, but also there were. There were maybe 200 former contestants there who've had this unique experience of being on the. An island together, surviving.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And I get to go with the queen of Survivor. So people are losing their minds for Parv, which is always really gratifying to see her get the love she deserves, you know, and. Oh, my God, it was good. And it was. This season was a battle between good and evil, because what happened was there was this MAGA alliance kind of always. It's a reflection, it's a microcosm of American society. And this season, really, like the finals, there was this sort of Goliath, and then there was this little woman called Aubrey, who I've watched play for four or five seasons, who's just this little woman. She's always kind of. She's like the. Every woman where she's like, I have stomach problems. She's like, I feel sick. I'm sunburned. Like, I'm anxious. Like, I. I just relate to this woman. She. She rarely wins a challenge. She. But she's a social mastermind, and. And she always gets really far. And this season, it came down to, like, a challenge and where this beast man, who is sort of a misogynist, he used to be a bodyguard for Roy Moore. The far right politician. Yeah. So it's between her and him, really. And they're in this final challenge, and Aubrey, you're like, come on, Aubrey, you can do this. It's like balls catching balls. And then she says to the camera, she's like, oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

What do you mean, balls catching balls?

[Fortune Feimster]

That's just supposed to tell me. That is a good question, Tig. I was like, thank you.

[May Martin]

Did I.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, it's like balls catching balls catching balls.

[May Martin]

Okay, so it's like, yeah, I don't care, actually. Go ahead. It's a marble run where you have to catch them and add balls and be really quick. And she's finds. She finds out what this challenge is. And this is a crucial moment in the game where. And there's three guys and her. So final four. And all the three guys are saying to each other, basically, we want a guy to win. The three of us will kick out Aubrey. She's. No way she's gonna win immunity. She sees the challenge and then she says to the camera, she's like, oh,

[Tig Notaro]

I feel like she's gonna win. I feel like she's gonna win.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it feels like. It feels like we're being set up for her to win.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's how I'm feeling, fortunately.

[May Martin]

But she goes, I bought this challenge on Etsy to practice it, but just in case it came up and she's like, I. I can do this. I've done it for. I practiced for months. And then everyone's like, classic her, Classic.

[Tig Notaro]

She nails it.

[May Martin]

And it's like that. People are like, that's. Oh, what a lucky choice. That's not.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, I have a question, because that's hard because they're. They're bringing in past games as well.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, how did she know to buy this game? It was a previous game in another season.

[May Martin]

They often repeat games.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Yeah, often. Yeah, yeah, yeah, got it. But then, so, yeah, she wins and now this, this. Oh, it just. I met her after I. I was, like, in tears and I said, this is about more than Survivor. I was like, this. I don't know what I would have done.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, tears? Like what, Actual tears?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, I think I was crying.

[Tig Notaro]

Right. But, like, what were you feeling?

[May Martin]

Joy.

[Tig Notaro]

Joy, okay.

[May Martin]

Relief.

[Tig Notaro]

Relief.

[May Martin]

Like, I, I. Oh, it was like, oh, there's hope in the world.

[Tig Notaro]

Having a hard time connecting with this.

[May Martin]

Okay, okay. Anyway, the point is, it was big for me.

[Fortune Feimster]

If anyone's listening, for me, that's all that matters.

[May Martin]

There's gonna be, like, a percentage of our audience who are electrified by this. Most people won't be, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, there are a lot of fans of this show.

[May Martin]

Watching the interpersonal dynamics between all the previous players. Like, I'm sitting next to Ben. I'm sitting. You know, it's crazy. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune. Ben was there. Mel May. Yeah. It's interesting hearing about this because not fortunate. Survivor isn't really on my. Of course I know about it, but it's not anything I follow or watch, obviously. And while you're talking about it, it's that reminder of, like, oh, right, these shows are about the interpersonal relationships and the like. And have you learned anything? Like, watching the show of, like, oh, how to deal in social dynamics, or I could manipulate this person in this way, or I could become friends or insert myself and. Yeah. What kind of lessons have you.

[May Martin]

Thank you for asking. What a wonderful question.

[Tig Notaro]

That's what interests me more is like, what. What have you walked away with?

[May Martin]

Personally, I've learned so much, but the people who. The main lesson I've learned is that the people who win are the most adaptable, fluid people. Because if you carry a grudge for even A day you're fucked because you. You might be left out of a vote, your best friends voted off, and now you're alone on this tribe with all people who. Who don't really want to play with you. If you sulk, you're done. But you can come back and go, guys, that was an amazing move. You got me. Wow. Now, now, moving forward, what should we do next? Like, and those people go far and. And having that fluidity and like, every day is a new day. You could completely turn the game around. That's interesting that you make your own luck, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

And do you feel like you're applying that or it's just like a lesson you're learning kind of in a. You're observing that lesson going, huh? But I'm having trouble applying it.

[May Martin]

Oh, I'm always having trouble applying it. But it's more like watching just there's. It's just so human. Everyone has different qualities that you see in yourself and stubbornness and. And also you're like, oh, my God, how would I do in the beating sun, not eating, sleeping on the dirt.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can tell you right now, I'd not be good.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune would want her veggies.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want to win those challenges where they, like, food is up for grabs.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

The rewards where they just like, where

[Tig Notaro]

you have to eat bugs, where you

[Fortune Feimster]

eat stuff until you throw up because you haven't been eating like that.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You know who was there at the finale was Adam Scott. I saw him. He's a big fan. Yeah. And Gayle King is a big f.

[Tig Notaro]

Big fan of Survivor or of you?

[May Martin]

Survivor. No one was excited. It was. I was nothing in the room. It was so nice. Like, the. There's such a deep fandom there. And so it was like, I'm sitting next to this guy, Todd Herzog, who won season, like four or something.

[Tig Notaro]

Todd was there.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And he, to me is like the biggest deal. So it was great. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow.

[May Martin]

And nice to be there with Parva, but, yeah, Parvana are doing good, good, good. I feel like I haven't talked about it on the pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, you've hinted at some things

[Fortune Feimster]

you want to say.

[May Martin]

Well, in a way, I feel like I learned my lesson last time by talking so much about her and then that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[May Martin]

That was tough. But we've. We've never really fully disconnected for a long period of time. We've stayed in each other's lives and, yeah, part of the best. And people are complicated, and it's feeling really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

People are complicated.

[May Martin]

We've always been, like, full of respect for each other and care, so. Yeah, it's been nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I mean, I'll keep you posted.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, you know, as far, you know, this is a podcast where you talk about a lot of things, and as far as what people share about their own lives is always your call. And, you know, sometimes we're in a podcast that, as people have seen where life is happening around us, and sometimes it's complicated and tough and it's hard not to, like, want to talk about it, but also, like, trying to, like, have some boundaries and, you know, that's it.

[May Martin]

Like, I don't want to feel like I'm being coy and like, not because it. So I just. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, it's. Yeah, you gotta. There's personal. I don't. I've not talked at all about, like, my situation is any more than just, like, the effect of it not being a current relationship. It's just, you know, some things have to be for yourself, and that's what it is.

[May Martin]

But I'm really happy anyway, so that's good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, that's good. That's. That's what matters.

[May Martin]

But mainly I'm happy in myself, you know, individually.

[Tig Notaro]

That's.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's important. Yeah, because you have to feel good about yourself because that will also. That will also dictate how people treat you. Not in your, you know, that relationship in general.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's wise fortune. I like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Well,

[Fortune Feimster]

the better we feel about ourselves, the less we're willing to put up with people not, you know.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Treating us well.

[May Martin]

Also, did you know that in Michigan, there's a town called Hell that's being sold for $666,000? And it's like a tourist attraction called Hell Michigan. And it's like they have a church and they. And they have. Where you can get married. They have a mini golf course. And this guy, John Cologne, of course, that's his name. He's 80, and he's like, I don't want to run Hell Michigan anymore. Can someone else take it over? So I was wondering if you guys wanted to go in with me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love that one guy was running the show there.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it was just this guy. He's got seven acres, and he's made it a little town.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, so hit. The entire town is just property of seven acres. Okay. Because I was like, how does one person become in charge of an entire town?

[May Martin]

Yeah, it's all him.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm down.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do we know. Do we know if he named It. That.

[May Martin]

That's a good question. But maybe we could do wellness weekend at Hell.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, clearly he's. Clearly he's leaning into it for that to be the sell price.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Like the door, the welcome says like, welcome. These are the gates of hell. And he looks like a funny guy. There's all these eccentric people all over

[Fortune Feimster]

America being like, guy was like, I'm tired of running this place.

[Martha Kelly]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm ready to hang it up, let somebody else take over. Hell.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

People that don't like him are like, he's literally the devil.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

The guy that runs Hell. What were you gonna say, May?

[May Martin]

Well, I. I'm just over excited and telling you all my news, but yesterday I went to Brett Goldstein's premiere of his Jennifer Lopez movie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jennifer Lopez.

[May Martin]

Jennifer Lopez.

[Fortune Feimster]

I saw that you were on the red carpet with your friends and looking very and handsome.

[May Martin]

Thank you. But it was. It was so good and I'm so proud of him. But I met the person I was most excited to meet was Abby from Love on the Spectrum.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[May Martin]

That was amazing. She was so great. And she. Her mom knew who I was, which was an in for me so I could say hi. And I said, I'm such a big fan, Abby. And she said, that means the world to me. And I. Yeah, it was lovely.

[Fortune Feimster]

You? Yeah, I love it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did you ever watch any of those shows, Tig? No.

[May Martin]

Oh, I think you'd really love them. They're really life affirming.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't. I don't doubt that I would. I just. I don't know how to quite explain that. Nothing like that ever crosses my mind. Nothing?

[May Martin]

Nothing matters never occurred to you to watch it?

[Martha Kelly]

It just.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know how to tell you guys that nothing like that matters to me.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't care about your TV shows. I've almost. Almost a month not on social media.

[Fortune Feimster]

How you feeling?

[Tig Notaro]

Totally fine. It's like it never even happened.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

I've switched to an Apple Watch.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Which I did a couple of months ago, but I.

[May Martin]

And what's that for?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I have the Apple Watch where you don't need to have your phone with you. So I just don't have a phone with me and I just have an Apple Watch and I don't have many options on it, and so I just am completely out of touch.

[May Martin]

I love that.

[Tig Notaro]

And it's just. It's been such a nice experiment. Obviously, I'm like, emailing, like, on my flight out to Orlando. Those are always really great moments to Catch up on emails and everything. But the. Whatever. I'm just.

[May Martin]

No scrolling.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I just. I. As I mentioned, that kind of influx of information I wasn't even looking for. It really hit me on a deep, deep level. And that's not to say I'm not seeking out. You know, like, I looked and. Oh, yeah, sure, I seek out news. But also, like, after the Colbert finale, I went and looked at clips on YouTube and. Yeah, I don't know, I just feel. And I always want to say I could end up tick, tock, tick tomorrow, but for right now. Yeah, for right now, I'm just really enjoying the distance from everything and taking in the real world very differently.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I wonder what that would feel like for me. Because, like, for instance, the. The hell Michigan thing, that's like. That feels like pressing news to me. Like, that I had to. I make. I made a note of it in my phone, and it's like I'm seeing thousands of those things a day. I must have scrolled past that and been like. And then wrote it down. It's like, what if I just made space of all that trivia and little things?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, well, it depends on what you're looking for.

[Fortune Feimster]

You want to have as many Mayfax?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Well, I do have a lot of focus. A lot of fact books from tour that people gave me.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, real quick, I was. Stephanie and I were at a wedding this last weekend, and you know the comedian. Yes, you do. Atsuko Okotzuka. She and her husband were there, and she was joking that. Because she was like, oh, I saw you're not on Instagram anymore. And I said, oh, yeah. And. And she goes, well, I'm gonna start doing proof of life when I see you. Just post things of you. Tig was last seen in Montecito. Yeah, I thought that was really funny.

[May Martin]

That's really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

At least you have this podcast. People will know you're still what you're up to.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, yeah, obviously. It's not like I'm erased from the Internet or anything.

[Fortune Feimster]

You will not exist to.

[May Martin]

What if you just started, like, fading away? Like. Like just becoming kind of translucent and then fading away.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm open to it.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You know, to becoming a vapor.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, whatever.

[May Martin]

Sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm curious to head down different roads,

[Fortune Feimster]

see what's down there. Hardly an episode of Handsome goes by where we don't mention our favorite makers of bras and shapewear, Honey Love. I love honeylove's bras because they're comfortable, supportive, and I Feel good wearing them. There's no slipping, no constant adjusting. Just a secure, flattering fit that actually stays in place. All of Honeylove's bras are designed to provide lift and structure using innovative bonding technology rather than uncomfortable underwire. That includes their new crossover Contour bra, which combines their best selling wireless design with molded foam cups to create a style smooth, natural shape. Honey Love believes that comfort isn't a luxury, it's a requirement. And you know what? I'm starting to believe that, too. So give Honeylove a try. If you're anything like me, you're going to love it.

[May Martin]

Treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market. Use our exclusive link to save 20% off [e-mail] handsome that's honeylove.com handsome. After you check out, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show. Tell them we sent you. Experience the new standard in comfort and

[Tig Notaro]

support with Honey Love in partnership with Airbnb. Let's talk about our spring travel plans. Fortune. I feel like every summer my family gets a little bit more adventurous with our travel plans, but there's a hitch.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah? What might that be?

[Tig Notaro]

They're now getting really into competitive sports. And that means we're now traveling around their team schedules.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hmm. Let me guess. They're having you stay in a bare bones hotel on the side of a highway somewhere.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right. So for the next big weekend, we decided to mix things up and find a home on Airbnb to stay at instead. We found a place with a massive yard so they could keep playing baseball with their pals on the team day and night. Plus, it's got a pool, unlike the hotel we were supposed to stay at. It's even got a tree house.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow, that sounds incredible. But I have one important question for you. Is there a hot tub?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, Fortune, there is indeed a hot tub. So maybe after the boys go to bed, Stephanie and I will have some tub time together. And that's what I love about finding a place on Airbnb. Instead of being trapped in our room, we get this whole unique experience. So if you're listening, go check out Airbnb and have your own adventure.

[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

Whether your vibe is modern, coastal, farmhouse, or eclectic, Wayfair has options to help you create an outdoor space that's uniquely yours. Wayfair makes it simple to narrow down to what works for your style and budget. We got a couple deck chairs for our upstairs porch that are perfect for lounging with a book. We had some very specific dimensions to work with, but Wayfair's filters made it easy to find something that was exactly

[May Martin]

the right size Patio season is here, and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home.

[Tig Notaro]

But I'm. It is. It's. I have to say I'm genuinely enjoying this transition I've been doing of like I said, a few months ago, moved to Apple Watch and then it also naturally came up where I was like, I don't want to be on social media. And yeah, I'm just. It just feels good.

[May Martin]

This is a boring question, but can you use your Apple Watch to get your maps on in your car? You know what I mean? Yeah, you can navigate and just use it. Okay, cool.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And you can. There's, you know, you have choices of what you have and I try to just have. Not inundated by, you know.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Email stuff.

[May Martin]

I'm love. I'm driving a lot and I'm. I love. I love the maps. I love the little. I have a little British voice going Sunset. I wish it was Debbie or Paul McCartney.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, well, you definitely need to know where you're going. Yeah, that was a. That was a good Paul accent. I'll try to work on mine.

[May Martin]

I just listened to a podcast with him talking about what it was like in. In Liverpool growing up post war and what effect that had on their music. I'm. I'm trying to listen to less true crime, like inspired by you, Tig, and what your embodies taken in. I'm listening to less horrific true crime and instead I'm listening to like World War I podcasts and stuff and that are equally grotesque and awful. But in a way it's reassuring because things feel so cruel sometimes. Now and then you're like, oh, it's always been really. It's always, always the trend.

[Tig Notaro]

Regularly beheaded.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Regular. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, and people would watch. Drawn in court into it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

They'd be cheering. Yeah. Yeah. So at least.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, at least that's also still happening in some places.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But, yeah, it's just like it's. There's so much dreadful history in the world. And it is like you said, it is oddly reassuring to know that it's always been bad.

[May Martin]

And it's kind of interesting. Like, I'm onto the French Revolution now, which is always interesting. But you're like, okay, where. What point did it have to get to for the people to. But then they beheaded all these. Well, Marie Antoinette I'm interested in because I, I didn't realize she was like 12 when she got married to. Oh my gosh, another 12 year old. They were. It was like she was Austrian and then.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, they were both 12?

[May Martin]

They were both about 12, 13. And he was, I think Louis the 15th and France. And they married them off to sort of align the two countries. And then she became this crazy projection of everybody's rage and desire and. Yeah. And she's pretty interesting. I want to watch that movie. Kind of like me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Exactly like that.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God, I love that.

[Tig Notaro]

That's funny.

[May Martin]

That was funny what you said.

[Tig Notaro]

That was.

[May Martin]

Well, should we, should we get our question?

[Tig Notaro]

Let's do it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Today's Question is brought to you by

[May Martin]

AT T. Today's Question Asker is a comedian and actor who starred in the FX comedy Baskets and played the title character in the animated TV show Carol in the End of the World. She was nominated for an Emmy for her work in Euphoria and stars in the third season of the show Out Now. Martha Kelly is asking today's question.

[Tig Notaro]

And I have to say, Martha is a dear old pal of mine. We came up in the early days like open mics with like Zach Galifianakis and Maria Bamford. And Martha was always like just the most ridiculous person that was so nervous, stood outside of the spotlight, I think even once hid behind a bookshelf on stage. But she and I have such a history together and touring. She and I did this knock, knock, it's Tig Notaro tour on Showtime where we went and did people's homes, like our fan base. We went, performed in their homes. And Martha and I always would get in little fights where she wouldn't allow me to drive my own car and like, and my endless, endless. I know we have to get into her thing, but like, one time Martha was on a diet where she could only have like strictly. A strictly potato diet.

[May Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

And she's you know, she's very much like, I need this and we have to get this. And so we were driving around looking for a potato and we pulled over. There were two other comedians with us. We pull over, we all stand in this long line to order our food. We all get our food, get back in the van. And she is outraged, gets in the car. They didn't serve potatoes. And all of us in the car, the rest of the comedians, we all have our food and we're just chowing down and she is, she's like, you know, the angry mom carpooling, like peeling out in the minivan that we're in tour. And we all got very quiet and like, oh man, we can't mess with her. She hasn't had her potato today. But she also, God, makes me laugh so hard. And I don't know, people might know her more as an actor now, but man, is she a funny. Stand up. She's funny. Walking through the world. Yeah. And acting. Stand everything. She's just a delightfully ridiculous human being that I adore.

[May Martin]

So I remember Knock knock. Gets signature. I remember that with. And John Doerr did some.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. John Doer. Martha makes a, an appearance, I think in the very beginning of it.

[May Martin]

Okay, I want to re. Watch.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Anyway, Martha Kelly.

[Martha Kelly]

Hi, I'm Martha Kelly. I'm on Euphoria. And my question is for each of you to answer individually. If you were trapped on a desert island with one of the chipmunks, would it be, would you choose Alvin, Simon or Theodore? And unfortunately, this is not hypothetical. I have already paid the contract. You are each going to be kidnapped and stranded on a desert island. So please answer seriously because your future depends on it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no, no, I wouldn't mind. I don't want to be on a desert island. I'm too fair skinned.

[May Martin]

I want to see what I'm made of. And I like the idea that if you're kidnapped on an island, no one could be mad at you. You know, you're like.

[Tig Notaro]

And no one can be attracted to you either. May.

[May Martin]

Exactly. You're not a projection of everyone's rage and desire anymore.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Trying to survive.

[Tig Notaro]

I love that Martha thinks she just assumes we know the, the chipmunks.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys are gonna have a lot to say about the chipmunks.

[Tig Notaro]

This is gonna really open up a conversation.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, this devil. I don't know how we're gonna fit in all the things we have to say about the chipmunks in this episode.

[Tig Notaro]

I know. I have so much to Say, did y'.

[Fortune Feimster]

All, did any of you watch the Chipmunks growing up?

[Tig Notaro]

I saw it. My. My father in law is very into the Chipmunks and he's shown Max and Finn and I feel like it's. Is it that kind of older kind of show? Thomas.

[May Martin]

They've brought it back. They brought it back. But now. But it used to be in the 80s, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Well, like when I was growing, when I was young, it was like a popular cartoon on TV, but like in our. In, I don't know, 15 years ago, they made a animated movie of it.

[Tig Notaro]

Right, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or 10 years ago. I don't know how long it was.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it started in 1958 as Novelty Records with like the sped up squeaky voices.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. So this is my father in law's time.

[May Martin]

And then the show is in the early 60s.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then there is that Christmas song.

[Tig Notaro]

What is it?

[Fortune Feimster]

We Can Hardly Stand the Weight. Please, Christmas, Don't Be Late. Yep. Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

I. That doesn't even sound remotely familiar to me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't do the chipmunk voice.

[May Martin]

The hula hoop thing sounded familiar to me, so.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, you've probably heard of hula hoops.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because there's the Alvin.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I don't know that the father.

[May Martin]

They're. The human that they live with is always annoying.

[Tig Notaro]

They have a human father?

[May Martin]

Just a friend. Just a friend.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, it's a friend. Yeah. Oh, I thought it was like a father figure, A human friend that always yelled at Alvin. It wasn't Alvin. Kind of the, like, mischievous one.

[May Martin]

Well, Thomas has sent a link here,

[Tig Notaro]

so just briefly, I'm just going with Alvin. Okay. I. I take Alvin.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, we have. Let's go through what each.

[May Martin]

The main qualities of each. Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

It feels like a version of the Golden Girls situation.

[May Martin]

It really does.

[Tig Notaro]

What are we talking about?

[May Martin]

So Alvin's like the tr. Troublemaker. The. The leader. The term look before you leap does not apply to him. He's an emotional roller coaster. He's enthusiastic. He's kind of greedy and selfish. But he loves his brothers and he's fearless and he'll stick up for them. He does not like anybody touching his cap. And he has no trouble in saying, don't touch the cap.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Okay. Simon Seville. Simon is the oldest nerdy one. He's tall. He's the middle child, and he's. Sorry, not oldest. He has an IQ bigger than Einstein and he's got a dry sense of humor and a keen wit, and he's a chess master. And Simon worries a little bit. He worries about everyone.

[Fortune Feimster]

Theodore.

[Tig Notaro]

We found out that May was just riffing all this.

[May Martin]

And then Theodore is the youngest and he's innocent. He's loving, gullible, trusting, naive. He. He often is the peacemaker between his two brothers and appeals to Theodore's better nature. And his sweet nature makes him an easy target for bullies. But then they'll have to answer to his big brothers. His color is green.

[Tig Notaro]

Can you repeat those again?

[Fortune Feimster]

For real? Do you guys resonate with any of those?

[May Martin]

Well, I'm thinking about being stranded on desert island. You don't want someone greedy and who. Who doesn't think before they leap. I think you want. I'm going with Theodore. Even though he's serious.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I think I want Simon.

[May Martin]

You want sweet little Simon?

[Fortune Feimster]

I want Simon because he's so smart.

[May Martin]

No, Theodore is smart.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I felt Simon was smart.

[May Martin]

Simon is smart.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Simon has the Einstein.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God, you're right. Okay, I'm going Simon as well. Sorry.

[Tig Notaro]

Nobody wants Theodore.

[May Martin]

Well, you're trying to survive. You don't want to be.

[Fortune Feimster]

Theodore is the peacemaker. We don't.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

We don't need to get along. We just need to survive.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Almond does seem like he would be fun.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So, like, he would keep. He would keep things lively. Theodore might just be too boring.

[May Martin]

Wait a minute there. This human is their father. It says Dave Seville. Like any other single parent trying to raise three chips.

[Fortune Feimster]

Single dad trying to raise three chipmunks. It's not easy.

[Tig Notaro]

Shows get green lit.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, it started in the 60s. It was popular when I was a kid. That's what he would yell, and I was like, man, must be hard to be a single dad.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know all those single dads out there raising three chipmunks?

[Tig Notaro]

So where's his. His wife must have been a chipmunk. Right?

[May Martin]

That's what's worrying me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think that the dad. I don't think biologically he's the dad. I think you know how chipmunks kind of make their way.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, he adopted them. He adopted them.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Let's not get crazy here, okay?

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

I haven't. I honestly have not thought about the chipmunks in so long. It's so.

[Tig Notaro]

Since Christmas time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, of course. I listen to that song every Christmas. It's funny, though, because I have not thought about any chipmunking forever. But I just went to the zoo and I haven't been to the zoo in forever.

[Tig Notaro]

By yourself.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I know. With some friends. And I kept seeing chipmunks. Running around.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I love it.

[May Martin]

I love a little chipmunk.

[Tig Notaro]

They're so cute.

[Fortune Feimster]

I couldn't believe. Luckily the zoo was a very like. You know, sometimes you hear about zoos and they seem like depressing.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is the Atlanta Zoo. Run very well. And the habitats are amazing. These, you can tell these animals are well cared for. I couldn't believe how childlike I became.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

At the zoo going like, look, look at, look at the orangutan over there.

[May Martin]

Oh my God. Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, I'm just like, I became a legit 7 year old. So much for every animal.

[May Martin]

Okay, Thomas, put it on the list. We got to take Fortune to the zoo because I need to see that version of you. Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Silverback.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Martha Kelly]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Look at the tire. Look at the tiger. It's in the room.

[Tig Notaro]

Could just replay this. Us.

[May Martin]

Yeah, true.

[Tig Notaro]

We could edit in pictures of different animals and show Fortune. I was like, oh my gosh. Can social media make that video where saying different animals and then they show a picture of the animal quickly.

[May Martin]

Can you do an elephant? Fortune, do the elephant one. Elephants.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my God.

[May Martin]

Giraffe, zebras.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like every single animal I'd acted like I've never seen this animal before. And if they were like hiding in any crevice. Nevis. I was like, you can see the tail. Look, look, look, there's. And I was not doing this to be funny. I legit was like so present at the zoo in a way I've not experienced with myself in a very long time.

[May Martin]

Oh, I love that. And then I love that even adults, like, when you're leaving the zoo, the question is always, what was your favorite animal? Like, which was. Which was your favorite? Which, which was.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mine was definitely the orangutan.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean all the monkeys. It was very fun to see them. The, the chimps climbing on each other and amazing. You know, the light, the, the lions were right by the window and their paws are just so massive. It's like crazy. Yeah, Yeah. I was, I was very impressed with their setup there. They, they put a lot of care and money into the zoo, I think.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't like the reptiles. Really not into those.

[May Martin]

You don't like the cold blooded.

[Fortune Feimster]

I went into the little hall with all the snakes and the komodo dragon.

[Tig Notaro]

If someone came up behind you and you were looking at a snake and went, would you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would jump to, yeah.

[May Martin]

Wait, so now Fortune. So socials can edit in like the reptile hall. Can you do your reaction to. Yeah, great, great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

My mom had a black snake climb up her door last week. Black and black snakes are the. Of all the snakes, that's the friendliest one. You want them around because they help with your garden and they kill like predators and yada, yada, but still, it's a big ass snake. This was a massive snake. It climbed up her door and it coiled itself around her door handle. Oh, whoa. No, she was inside. It was a screen door and her friend happened to see it and they were like, well, we're not leaving. That snake stayed there for like an hour and a half.

[May Martin]

Just.

[Fortune Feimster]

My mom was just like trapped in her home for an hour.

[Tig Notaro]

That's like a, you know, the beginning maybe of a horror film.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know. Never mind. I don't want to go wide with that pitch.

[May Martin]

I like. I like the idea of being on a desert island with a chipmunk because they could. Could get to the places that you can't get to. Like, they could get the coconuts from the tree. They could go into little caves and find things for you to eat, hopefully.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you for bringing this back full circle.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's me trying to get out of this episode.

[May Martin]

Oh, no, I would.

[Fortune Feimster]

If it were up, the chipmunks could go reach that you could not get. This is true.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But, yeah. I don't know about this contract that we have to be stuck on a deserted island.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. It's funny that Martha. Martha said a contract because we have an ongoing joke over the years of anything terrible that happens in life. We're always like, where do I sign?

[May Martin]

That's good.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh. Because we were presented a very bad contract once for to buy a project that we were pitching. And that might be where that started was where do I sign?

[May Martin]

Because they were like, sign here and you'll have no ownership over it. We'll give you zero dollars.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

We're gonna go straight into production.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Where do I sign?

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you think Martha has an answer?

[Tig Notaro]

I would say Martha's Alvin. Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, let's see what Martha thinks.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, you know, she likes to have a good time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. She seems like she'd be a little mischievous.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I'm.

[May Martin]

But I'm just thinking not in terms of company, in terms of survival. You want the smart. Unless you're gonna cook and eat the chipmunk.

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, see, I have to laugh and have a good time in order to survive.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

That's gonna keep me going is to have that kind of joy in my heart.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I just feel Like, Alvin wouldn't really want to contribute to the, like duties.

[May Martin]

I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's my concern. When they're so fun, they usually have gotten by on their personality and they haven't had to do anything.

[Martha Kelly]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But they can come up with ways to. They're thinking outside of the box.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, let's hear what Martha has to

[Martha Kelly]

say, and then should I do my answer?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Martha Kelly]

So I'm also. I paid to be kidnapped to go on a desert island, and I chose Theodore. I do feel like he would be my soulmate. I love all three of the Chipmunks, but Theodore and I have a shared passion for pizza and cookies and Cheetos and just sitting around having a great time. And so I actually can't wait to go and spend time with him.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. I just found out through this video that Martha is no longer vegan.

[May Martin]

Oh.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

She had called me to help her start her vegan diet.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And it seems like maybe she's.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think she's.

[Tig Notaro]

She's even. She's off the potato wagon too, apparently.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, that's a difficult one to maintain.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it sure was. Try going on tour with somebody who needs a potato for every meal.

[Fortune Feimster]

That would be. That would be very tough to accommodate. I was like, you're not getting a potato today.

[May Martin]

I can't think of, of any nutritional reason why that would be advised as a diet, but just potatoes.

[Fortune Feimster]

You.

[Tig Notaro]

You don't ask any questions. Martha's got a new diet she's trying. You just get on board and you spend your time on tour looking for that potato. Well, and if she does, Theodore, then somebody's chosen everybody at this point. Right?

[May Martin]

Yeah. Simon's got to choose between me and Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right. Or we're all stuck together.

[May Martin]

Oh, great.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. Who is Simon gonna choose?

[May Martin]

I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. Probably May, because May's watched all the Survivor and probably has picked up a few points.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, but you've watched all the album in the Alvin and the Chipmunks

[Fortune Feimster]

and I did go to the zoo.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's true.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's true.

[May Martin]

I'm allergic to coconuts, which will.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that's gonna be hard because we will rely on coconuts and its water.

[May Martin]

This is why I couldn't play Survivor because they survive off coconut. That's the only reason that I would.

[Tig Notaro]

The only reason coconut is between you and Survivor.

[May Martin]

Me and a million bucks.

[Fortune Feimster]

Being a part of Survivor would be my literal nightmare. Me being on the show would be like, what did I Do wrong. How did I get punished in order to be here?

[May Martin]

Crazy that Mike White went back season 50. He played for the second time and he was literally season 50. Yes. Thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's a huge anniversary season.

[Tig Notaro]

I think you mentioned that.

[May Martin]

So Mike White, who. He was writing White Lotus and went back and did it. Not great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

He didn't make it to the jury, but I think there was a big target on his back, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

Do celebrities typically go on Survivor?

[May Martin]

No, I think he is the only celebrity. Well, Elizabeth Hasselbeck became a celebrity after playing, but no, no one.

[Tig Notaro]

Is she still a celebrity?

[May Martin]

She's sort of.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know where she went. Kind of went. Is she still disappeared, like, doing journalism

[May Martin]

stuff, like presenting, interviewing stuff. But they should do a celebrity season of if. I would respect anyone who would be that exposed. Like, you have no control over the edit. You got no makeup. You're your true person.

[Fortune Feimster]

No makeup.

[May Martin]

That would be a big deal for me. No clear mascara.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no.

[May Martin]

No lip.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. You can't. You can't be on an island without your face on.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't have any lip taint.

[May Martin]

But I know, like, Nick Offerman and Megan Mulally are big fans. Like, I'd love to see them play or.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. To see their dynamic.

[May Martin]

That would be great. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, lovely. Well, I mean, that's the thing about this podcast. You never know what we're gonna end up talking about because we never know what people are gonna ask us.

[Tig Notaro]

We had no idea Martha Kelly was gonna ask us about Alvin and the Chipmunks. We did not see that coming. But now that it's happened, it makes sense.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Now I'm glad about it.

[Tig Notaro]

It makes sense. Well, wonderful to see you, friends.

[May Martin]

Wonderful to see you, Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Fortunate to have the best time in Europe.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

If anybody cares, I will be doing some shows in Los Angeles. I'm also going to be in Rochester, Colorado Springs, Calgary, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia. The road goes on forever. Please come out and say hello right to my face from your seat. But don't say it actually from your seat. You know, let me do my show.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[May Martin]

If anyone wants to make a little road trip, wouldn't it be fun if we just went nuts and sold out these festivals? I'm doing playing music at the Hillside Festival in Guelph on the 17th of July, and on the 19th, I'm in Yellowknife doing a music festival. And then I'm gonna be at Just for laughs in Montreal right after that. But oh, my God, how cool if. If a bunch of people just showed up in Yellowknife, that would be great.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. Got to.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, that's too. I just have a few shows June 18th and 19th, Portland, Maine, and Detroit, Michigan, June 20th, and then Red Bank, New Jersey, August 8th, and that's it until I figure out the rest of my tour. But also coming up, my show that I did with Will Ferrell is going to be airing on Netflix in a couple weeks called yeah, guys.

[May Martin]

Also, we have new merch For Pride Month, handsomepod.com We've got a tie dye T shirt, a bandana, a new hat, and a tank top. And they're good.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're real fun. This is.

[Tig Notaro]

They're really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

We got some good stuff.

[May Martin]

And don't forget to watch us on Hulu one day early.

[Tig Notaro]

What a podcast. Make sure you subscribe, rate, review, send your favorite episodes to your loved ones. Help us build this handsome community. And until next time, keep it handsome.

[May Martin]

Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media at. Handsome. Handsome Pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast.

[May Martin]

That was A Headgum podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if my mom has something to keep her busy while I'm podcasting at her house. Oops. Turns out Ginger has some opinions she wants to share on the podcast, but she doesn't have a microphone. At least not yet.

[May Martin]

Yeah, checking first is Handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.

[Tig Notaro]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a

[May Martin]

deep dive from our show.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is us.

[May Martin]

That's right. We're gonna go episode by episode.

[Martha Kelly]

We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot? A whole lot.

[May Martin]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was Us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.