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May Martin
This is a Headgum podcast.
Fortune Feimster
Checking All State first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking. If May wants to join me when I meet one of their pop idols, that's my fault. I can't help it that I keep meeting May's heroes and have amazing interactions with them. But now May's a little jealous and I feel bad.
May Martin
Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois how do you feel about your space?
Fortune Feimster
Maybe you're like me and you get discouraged by the messes and clutter that always seems to pile up. That's why Home and Glow has been such a game changer for me as we head into summer. Whether you're returning to work, starting new projects, or managing family commitments, having a clean space contributes to a more balanced life. Homaglow is a top rated home service platform dedicated to making your space clean and tidy. With online booking capabilities, you can book a cleaner who's passed a rigorous certification process to come clean your home for a special occasion, party, or even as a regular thing. I've been so happy with my Homaglow cleaner, I started scheduling them a couple times a month and it's been a game changer.
May Martin
So head to Homaglow's website. Choose the day and time you're looking for and the duration of your cleaning and match of the cleaner. It's that easy. You can also sign up for their ForeverClean membership, which saves you $30 an hour on all future cleanings. Take home cleaning off your plate this summer by using Homaglow. Head to Homaglow.com handsome summer to get your first three hours of cleaning for only $19. Hey, handsomes. Big announcement. Just in time for Pride Month and the start of summer, we got some amazing new merch.
Tig Notaro
That's right. We've got a Handsome tank top, handsome tie dye, a new handsome hat, and even a gorgeous new handsome bandana. So go to handsomepod.com and get you some.
May Martin
Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod.
Tig Notaro
Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. We're taking Fortune.
Fortune Feimster
Everyone. We're taking Fortune.
Tig Notaro
And May. There's May.
May Martin
I'm taking Fortune of May.
Tig Notaro
Use your eyes.
Fortune Feimster
We're together again.
May Martin
Hello.
Fortune Feimster
Yes, we are.
Tig Notaro
I'm in Orlando.
May Martin
Hey, quick Disney trip.
Fortune Feimster
Nice. Yeah.
May Martin
You going to Disney Solo Disney jaunt You.
Tig Notaro
You know me. I'm doing a corporate situation.
May Martin
Love it. Yeah, Love it. An Orlando corporate situation. Doesn't get better than that.
Tig Notaro
No, it doesn't.
May Martin
I'm back home. Fortune. You're south.
Fortune Feimster
Yep, I'm about to.
Tig Notaro
You're in your Southern chair.
Fortune Feimster
As of this recording, I'm headed to Europe.
May Martin
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
And next time I talk to you guys, I'll let you guys know how that went.
Tig Notaro
And this is with your mother.
Fortune Feimster
She. She'll be there for half of it. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Okay.
May Martin
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. So are you excited?
May Martin
It's hard to know what to pack for. I. I was just there. I was just in England.
Fortune Feimster
The temperature seems a little cooler than I would have expected. It's like, low of 50, high of 60. I just thought it would be a bit warmer. But I have a little cut, a little jacket I'm bringing with me.
Tig Notaro
Well, that's adorable. What about a little turtleneck?
Fortune Feimster
I have a little sweater.
Tig Notaro
And what about some earmuffs? Ear muffs and a turtleneck?
Fortune Feimster
I don't think any earmuffs. It's not that cold. But.
Tig Notaro
I know, but it'd be adorable.
Fortune Feimster
I know it would be, but, yeah. So I. I'm here in the south as the halfway journey.
May Martin
Right. If you're in the UK and you need a haircut, will you promise us you'll go see Debbie? Because I. I was just there for four days for a wedding, and I was so tempted to just pop in on Debbie, and I didn't have time,
Fortune Feimster
but, God, I know.
May Martin
I wanted to see.
Fortune Feimster
I'm only there for a night, so I really don't have time, but it would be. I feel like Tig is the one who needs to have this Debbie experience. Oh, wait, you did. Oh, you actually did go.
May Martin
Debbie went to take show, Actually. Fortune. Would you mind if I don't pay attention? Would you mind if I reached out to Debbie and asked if she wanted to go to your show?
Fortune Feimster
Ask away. I'll get her a ticket.
May Martin
She'd love it. She'd love it.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
She needs to have a commercial that. That where the theme song is Go see Debbie.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
You won't be disappointed. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. I'm excited. I. I gonna. I'm gonna eat a lot of cheese and a lot of pastries, and then when I get home, I need to go on a health kick.
May Martin
Okay.
Tig Notaro
What does that look like?
Fortune Feimster
Well, I started before this, and everyone and I posted about it, and everyone's like, tig would be so proud. I went to the farmer's Market because they said I was, like, one step closer to getting ready for the wellness weekend.
May Martin
Right.
Fortune Feimster
I went to a farmer's market and bought a bunch of stuff to make myself cook for the rest of the week.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And I bought tons of veggies. That's the part they said you would be super stoked about. And just made myself every meal. And I lost, like £3 for a week of eating like that.
Tig Notaro
Wow.
May Martin
Did you find it, like, can you cook? Did you find it easy to cook?
Fortune Feimster
I did get better as I went. I felt like I started to find a groove. However, I did burn myself.
May Martin
Oh, my gosh.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, that's a gnarly one, right?
Tig Notaro
That is.
May Martin
Yeah, that's a gnarly one.
Tig Notaro
What do you say when you have pain instantly? Owie, owie.
Fortune Feimster
No.
Tig Notaro
Ouchie, ouchy, ouchy.
Fortune Feimster
It was an honest mistake. The oven had stuff going on in the oven. I was up top, nothing was going, and I dropped a sweet potato and I went to get it and didn't realize the top of the oven was super hot.
Tig Notaro
Did you call that an honest mistake?
May Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do honest mistake.
Fortune Feimster
It was an honest mistake, not a liar mistake.
May Martin
And yeah, every part of that oven's gonna be pretty hot.
Fortune Feimster
I didn't think about that, mate.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I don't cook a lot, and it got me. I've been putting scar lotion on it every day. And newest.
Tig Notaro
Born in the beginning and done vitamin E. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I need a little aloe plant in my house.
May Martin
It's a real.
Tig Notaro
I think vitamin E helps with, you know, burn scarring stuff.
May Martin
That's a. That's a real burn.
Fortune Feimster
It almost made me be like, why am I doing this? But I knew the benefits would outweigh me getting burned.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
But yeah, I ate a lot of veggies, you guys.
Tig Notaro
What kind of vegetables?
Fortune Feimster
Sweet taters, broccolini onions, Brussels sprouts, red regular onion and a red onion. I got a nice piece of salmon that I made throughout the week. That's not a veggie. I know this.
Tig Notaro
No.
Fortune Feimster
And I got some really good chicken breast. Hello. And just in a spring salad. And tomato. Little cherry tomatoes.
May Martin
Oh, that sounds great.
Fortune Feimster
Hearts of palm.
Tig Notaro
We'd love to come over.
Fortune Feimster
Made a salad. Carrots. Oh, I made. I got a bunch of carrots. The tri color ones.
May Martin
Oh, I love those. Oh, tri color carrot.
Fortune Feimster
Tri color carrots. Oh, my God.
Tig Notaro
It makes you feel like orange, purple.
May Martin
Yeah. You feel like a gourmet when you're doing that. It's.
Fortune Feimster
I know. So like A purple carrot. And I just. Throughout the week, I was like, what do I have? Let me just figure out something with this stuff.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, it's divine.
Fortune Feimster
I know. Go me the pillar of health. But now I'm about to blow it in Europe. But when I get back, I'm gonna do. Do what I did again.
Tig Notaro
Well, your wheels of cheese. Yeah.
May Martin
And then when you get back, it's. It's time to prep for Wellness Weekend. It's time to start prepping.
Fortune Feimster
Time to start prepping, y'. All.
May Martin
I feel like we have so, so many updates for each other. Like, I. I want to know about. Tig was at Stephen Colbert's last show. I want to know about that. Oh, yeah, I went to the Survivor 50 finale.
Fortune Feimster
What?
May Martin
Talk about that.
Fortune Feimster
Yes. We have so much to update.
May Martin
Tig, how was it?
Tig Notaro
How was Colbert? Yeah, it was really fun. They were trying to get me on the second to last episode.
May Martin
That's funny.
Tig Notaro
But I was filming, and it was. It was not looking promising for a while there, and I just kind of was like, I'm just gonna let go and let God. And then I got a call, you know, a few days before saying they're gonna put you on the finale. And I was like, oh, heck, yeah. And it was fun. It was. You know, your buddy Paul McCartney was the guest.
May Martin
This is what I want to know about.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And Elvis Costello was the musical guest.
May Martin
O. Oh, my God.
Tig Notaro
Ryan Reynolds. Bryan Cranston.
May Martin
Can we go back to Paul McCartney for a sec?
Tig Notaro
Oh, sorry. So you were.
May Martin
You were in the same room. Miss him? Like, closer than you, than you've ever been.
Tig Notaro
Not just close to him. I met him. And I also got to sing hello Goodbye with him.
May Martin
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, my God. I don't want to may. I don't want to pile on. And you guys can keep discussing this, but I also met him at the Sarnat Live finale. I'll be. Be right back.
Tig Notaro
Keep. What do you mean?
May Martin
Is he just going to everything these days?
Tig Notaro
He's making his rounds. He is making his rounds, but he is avoiding you in his rounds.
May Martin
Did you. Did you feel emotional when you met him?
Tig Notaro
I can't say I felt emotional, but I was such a fan as a child. Yeah, I mean, I'm still such a fan, but it was my fantasy to be the fifth Beatle, even though John Lenn had been killed the year before. You know, I was just in my own world. I'm going to be the fifth Beatle. And so having loved this band obsessively my whole Life. The feeling I had more than anything when I met. When I met him was like, oh, we've been waiting for this moment our whole life.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Martha Kelly
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And so it just. It felt like, you know, when we said hello and shook hands, I was like, ah, finally we met in person.
May Martin
Oh, God. This is what I would feel, too. But what were his hands like?
Fortune Feimster
I'm very soft, actually.
Tig Notaro
Really? Yeah. Yeah. And he looks incredible. He's 83 years old. He's just. He's still got that, like, you know, sexy cool hair and sexy cool face facial hair, and he's rocking it, you know?
May Martin
And I can't believe you sang. You say yes, that's pretty great. I say no.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And that's. So I was thinking, also in my nep. In, like, a Netflix special, I think it was in, like, 2019, I had the Indigo Girls on there.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
So I've played with the Indigo Girls and I've sung with Paul McCartney. And so I'm just going through and checking off all of my faves, slowly but surely.
May Martin
And did you get him? Did you tell him about me? Did you have a. Did I come up?
Tig Notaro
He asked about you. Yeah. As soon as I met him, he was like, don't mess with me, girl. Tell me all about. Oh, my gosh. May's kind of believing it. May just said, don't mess with me.
Fortune Feimster
It's so funny because we had just talked on a prior episode about how none of us had met him and Tigging met him. And then within a week, Tig and I both met him. I went to the finale of SNL where he was a musical guest. And so I watched him sing a bunch of these Beatles songs at the end.
May Martin
A bunch of these Beatles.
Fortune Feimster
And then afterwards, I was like, I gotta. Like. I gotta say hi to him. Yeah. And so he. He, like, was about to walk by me, and then he stopped to talk to Emma Stone for a long time. And I was like, oh, man, I'm never gonna meet him. And then he walked by and I just, like, shook his hand. I was like. And I was like, you're great. Like, he's never heard that before.
May Martin
You're great.
Fortune Feimster
And he had very, very soft hands. And. And then he was, like, having fun and dancing with his family. And at some point, he pulled out, allegedly, a little joint. I think that's neither that or it's. But I'm pretty sure it was a joint. And I was like, yeah, get it.
May Martin
Oh, my God. Like, I'm smiling and I'm so full of Joy. But I'm having like slight flashback to the Alanis feelings.
Tig Notaro
Just because of course, of course.
Fortune Feimster
Like I didn't, at least I didn't sing with him. So I'm off the hook for that one.
May Martin
But I trust, I trust I live in and let God or whatever. I, I'm, I trust the universe's timing. I'm like, I will have my moment. I have to.
Tig Notaro
Because to me you might not.
May Martin
I saw.
Fortune Feimster
I know, I know, I know.
Tig Notaro
I might not. Let's be honest, you probably won't. Wow.
Fortune Feimster
God.
May Martin
I know. Like it's.
Fortune Feimster
But you never know. I mean, I didn't think I was going to meet him when we.
Tig Notaro
I mean, look, I'm a little surprised how many Beatles I've tripped over in my life. I, you know, seeing Ringo at Erewhon grocery store and then eating dinner next to Paul at a vegetarian restaurant and then finally meeting him in New York. That's a lot of running into the Beatles, you know, in a lifetime.
May Martin
Yeah, it really is. It feels.
Tig Notaro
Considering half of the band is gone.
May Martin
Yeah. You know, it feels like, like, I don't know. He's representative. It's like, like meeting him is like a glimpse of a whole other timeline. It's like, yeah, he was the defining figure of a whole era, but the fact that he's still so with it and energized and performing. He's doing three hour concerts and.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
Oh, man. Yeah. Last night my friend was like, maybe you don't want to meet him. Maybe it would ruin it. And I was like, absolutely not. I, I know it wouldn't ruin it. I've seen. I know enough about him that he's a nice guy and I could.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, it wouldn't ruin it.
Fortune Feimster
He just, he did seem really nice. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, absolutely.
May Martin
Well, I'm happy for you guys.
Fortune Feimster
He's just kind of like, hey, hey.
May Martin
Yeah, that's exactly right. And that's how he's always been.
Tig Notaro
Fortune is not known for her Paul McCartney impression. Let's be honest.
May Martin
You know, I, I actually, I would have guessed music. Let's walk. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the ingredients on that bottle of lotion I just dolloped onto my hands. Big regret. I'm famously allergic to coconut. So you think I would have learned by now that coconut oil is in seemingly everything.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check all state first for an quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability Allstate North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois today's question is
May Martin
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May Martin
That's $30 off your first box and free Croissants for Life when YOU visit wildgrain.com handsome or you can use promo code Handsome at checkout I la last so the the equip. Luckily, I mean if I'm on the spectrum in any way, which I'm sure I am, like my hyper fixations are the Beatles and Survivors up there and so at least I got to go to Survivor 50 finale. Yeah. And it was like, I know you guys are not gonna emotionally connect with this the way I did, but this season of Survivor 50 was Shakespearean in that this is decades of interpersonal relationships between these contestants, these returning players who are like Greek gods on Mount Olympus that fight amongst themselves and you know, flirt and fight in the but they're like a dysfunctional family and they are so human. Like their hubris always gets to them and we, we like root for them and then we watch them crumble and oh my God this season was like a coliseum. It really is like. Yeah. And so to be there. And so you've got the cast of that season, but also there were. There were maybe 200 former contestants there who've had this unique experience of being on the. An island together, surviving.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
And I get to go with the queen of Survivor. So people are losing their minds for Parv, which is always really gratifying to see her get the love she deserves, you know, and. Oh, my God, it was good. And it was. This season was a battle between good and evil, because what happened was there was this MAGA alliance kind of always. It's a reflection, it's a microcosm of American society. And this season, really, like the finals, there was this sort of Goliath, and then there was this little woman called Aubrey, who I've watched play for four or five seasons, who's just this little woman. She's always kind of. She's like the. Every woman where she's like, I have stomach problems. She's like, I feel sick. I'm sunburned. Like, I'm anxious. Like, I. I just relate to this woman. She. She rarely wins a challenge. She. But she's a social mastermind, and. And she always gets really far. And this season, it came down to, like, a challenge and where this beast man, who is sort of a misogynist, he used to be a bodyguard for Roy Moore. The far right politician. Yeah. So it's between her and him, really. And they're in this final challenge, and Aubrey, you're like, come on, Aubrey, you can do this. It's like balls catching balls. And then she says to the camera, she's like, oh, my God.
Tig Notaro
What do you mean, balls catching balls?
Fortune Feimster
That's just supposed to tell me. That is a good question, Tig. I was like, thank you.
May Martin
Did I.
Tig Notaro
You know, it's like balls catching balls catching balls.
May Martin
Okay, so it's like, yeah, I don't care, actually. Go ahead. It's a marble run where you have to catch them and add balls and be really quick. And she's finds. She finds out what this challenge is. And this is a crucial moment in the game where. And there's three guys and her. So final four. And all the three guys are saying to each other, basically, we want a guy to win. The three of us will kick out Aubrey. She's. No way she's gonna win immunity. She sees the challenge and then she says to the camera, she's like, oh,
Tig Notaro
I feel like she's gonna win. I feel like she's gonna win.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, it feels like. It feels like we're being set up for her to win.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, that's how I'm feeling, fortunately.
May Martin
But she goes, I bought this challenge on Etsy to practice it, but just in case it came up and she's like, I. I can do this. I've done it for. I practiced for months. And then everyone's like, classic her, Classic.
Tig Notaro
She nails it.
May Martin
And it's like that. People are like, that's. Oh, what a lucky choice. That's not.
Fortune Feimster
Wait, I have a question, because that's hard because they're. They're bringing in past games as well.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Like, how did she know to buy this game? It was a previous game in another season.
May Martin
They often repeat games.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
May Martin
Yeah, often. Yeah, yeah, yeah, got it. But then, so, yeah, she wins and now this, this. Oh, it just. I met her after I. I was, like, in tears and I said, this is about more than Survivor. I was like, this. I don't know what I would have done.
Tig Notaro
Wait, tears? Like what, Actual tears?
Fortune Feimster
Like, I think I was crying.
Tig Notaro
Right. But, like, what were you feeling?
May Martin
Joy.
Tig Notaro
Joy, okay.
May Martin
Relief.
Tig Notaro
Relief.
May Martin
Like, I, I. Oh, it was like, oh, there's hope in the world.
Tig Notaro
Having a hard time connecting with this.
May Martin
Okay, okay. Anyway, the point is, it was big for me.
Fortune Feimster
If anyone's listening, for me, that's all that matters.
May Martin
There's gonna be, like, a percentage of our audience who are electrified by this. Most people won't be, but.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, there are a lot of fans of this show.
May Martin
Watching the interpersonal dynamics between all the previous players. Like, I'm sitting next to Ben. I'm sitting. You know, it's crazy. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Fortune. Ben was there. Mel May. Yeah. It's interesting hearing about this because not fortunate. Survivor isn't really on my. Of course I know about it, but it's not anything I follow or watch, obviously. And while you're talking about it, it's that reminder of, like, oh, right, these shows are about the interpersonal relationships and the like. And have you learned anything? Like, watching the show of, like, oh, how to deal in social dynamics, or I could manipulate this person in this way, or I could become friends or insert myself and. Yeah. What kind of lessons have you.
May Martin
Thank you for asking. What a wonderful question.
Tig Notaro
That's what interests me more is like, what. What have you walked away with?
May Martin
Personally, I've learned so much, but the people who. The main lesson I've learned is that the people who win are the most adaptable, fluid people. Because if you carry a grudge for even A day you're fucked because you. You might be left out of a vote, your best friends voted off, and now you're alone on this tribe with all people who. Who don't really want to play with you. If you sulk, you're done. But you can come back and go, guys, that was an amazing move. You got me. Wow. Now, now, moving forward, what should we do next? Like, and those people go far and. And having that fluidity and like, every day is a new day. You could completely turn the game around. That's interesting that you make your own luck, you know?
Tig Notaro
And do you feel like you're applying that or it's just like a lesson you're learning kind of in a. You're observing that lesson going, huh? But I'm having trouble applying it.
May Martin
Oh, I'm always having trouble applying it. But it's more like watching just there's. It's just so human. Everyone has different qualities that you see in yourself and stubbornness and. And also you're like, oh, my God, how would I do in the beating sun, not eating, sleeping on the dirt.
Fortune Feimster
I can tell you right now, I'd not be good.
Tig Notaro
Fortune would want her veggies.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I want to win those challenges where they, like, food is up for grabs.
May Martin
Oh, yeah.
Fortune Feimster
The rewards where they just like, where
Tig Notaro
you have to eat bugs, where you
Fortune Feimster
eat stuff until you throw up because you haven't been eating like that.
May Martin
Yeah. You know who was there at the finale was Adam Scott. I saw him. He's a big fan. Yeah. And Gayle King is a big f.
Tig Notaro
Big fan of Survivor or of you?
May Martin
Survivor. No one was excited. It was. I was nothing in the room. It was so nice. Like, the. There's such a deep fandom there. And so it was like, I'm sitting next to this guy, Todd Herzog, who won season, like four or something.
Tig Notaro
Todd was there.
May Martin
Yeah. And he, to me is like the biggest deal. So it was great. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Wow.
May Martin
And nice to be there with Parva, but, yeah, Parvana are doing good, good, good. I feel like I haven't talked about it on the pod.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I mean, you've hinted at some things
Fortune Feimster
you want to say.
May Martin
Well, in a way, I feel like I learned my lesson last time by talking so much about her and then that.
Fortune Feimster
Right.
May Martin
That was tough. But we've. We've never really fully disconnected for a long period of time. We've stayed in each other's lives and, yeah, part of the best. And people are complicated, and it's feeling really good.
Fortune Feimster
People are complicated.
May Martin
We've always been, like, full of respect for each other and care, so. Yeah, it's been nice.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
May Martin
I mean, I'll keep you posted.
Tig Notaro
Yes.
Fortune Feimster
Well, you know, as far, you know, this is a podcast where you talk about a lot of things, and as far as what people share about their own lives is always your call. And, you know, sometimes we're in a podcast that, as people have seen where life is happening around us, and sometimes it's complicated and tough and it's hard not to, like, want to talk about it, but also, like, trying to, like, have some boundaries and, you know, that's it.
May Martin
Like, I don't want to feel like I'm being coy and like, not because it. So I just. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, it's. Yeah, you gotta. There's personal. I don't. I've not talked at all about, like, my situation is any more than just, like, the effect of it not being a current relationship. It's just, you know, some things have to be for yourself, and that's what it is.
May Martin
But I'm really happy anyway, so that's good.
Fortune Feimster
Well, that's good. That's. That's what matters.
May Martin
But mainly I'm happy in myself, you know, individually.
Tig Notaro
That's.
Fortune Feimster
That's important. Yeah, because you have to feel good about yourself because that will also. That will also dictate how people treat you. Not in your, you know, that relationship in general.
May Martin
Yeah, that's wise fortune. I like that.
Tig Notaro
Well,
Fortune Feimster
the better we feel about ourselves, the less we're willing to put up with people not, you know.
May Martin
Yes.
Fortune Feimster
Treating us well.
May Martin
Also, did you know that in Michigan, there's a town called Hell that's being sold for $666,000? And it's like a tourist attraction called Hell Michigan. And it's like they have a church and they. And they have. Where you can get married. They have a mini golf course. And this guy, John Cologne, of course, that's his name. He's 80, and he's like, I don't want to run Hell Michigan anymore. Can someone else take it over? So I was wondering if you guys wanted to go in with me.
Fortune Feimster
I love that one guy was running the show there.
May Martin
Yeah, it was just this guy. He's got seven acres, and he's made it a little town.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, so hit. The entire town is just property of seven acres. Okay. Because I was like, how does one person become in charge of an entire town?
May Martin
Yeah, it's all him.
Tig Notaro
I'm down.
Fortune Feimster
Do we know. Do we know if he named It. That.
May Martin
That's a good question. But maybe we could do wellness weekend at Hell.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, clearly he's. Clearly he's leaning into it for that to be the sell price.
May Martin
Yeah. Like the door, the welcome says like, welcome. These are the gates of hell. And he looks like a funny guy. There's all these eccentric people all over
Fortune Feimster
America being like, guy was like, I'm tired of running this place.
Martha Kelly
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I'm ready to hang it up, let somebody else take over. Hell.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
People that don't like him are like, he's literally the devil.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
The guy that runs Hell. What were you gonna say, May?
May Martin
Well, I. I'm just over excited and telling you all my news, but yesterday I went to Brett Goldstein's premiere of his Jennifer Lopez movie.
Fortune Feimster
Jennifer Lopez.
May Martin
Jennifer Lopez.
Fortune Feimster
I saw that you were on the red carpet with your friends and looking very and handsome.
May Martin
Thank you. But it was. It was so good and I'm so proud of him. But I met the person I was most excited to meet was Abby from Love on the Spectrum.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah.
May Martin
That was amazing. She was so great. And she. Her mom knew who I was, which was an in for me so I could say hi. And I said, I'm such a big fan, Abby. And she said, that means the world to me. And I. Yeah, it was lovely.
Fortune Feimster
You? Yeah, I love it.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Did you ever watch any of those shows, Tig? No.
May Martin
Oh, I think you'd really love them. They're really life affirming.
Tig Notaro
I don't. I don't doubt that I would. I just. I don't know how to quite explain that. Nothing like that ever crosses my mind. Nothing?
May Martin
Nothing matters never occurred to you to watch it?
Martha Kelly
It just.
Fortune Feimster
I don't know how to tell you guys that nothing like that matters to me.
Tig Notaro
I don't care about your TV shows. I've almost. Almost a month not on social media.
Fortune Feimster
How you feeling?
Tig Notaro
Totally fine. It's like it never even happened.
Fortune Feimster
Wow.
Tig Notaro
I've switched to an Apple Watch.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, wow.
Tig Notaro
Which I did a couple of months ago, but I.
May Martin
And what's that for?
Tig Notaro
Well, I have the Apple Watch where you don't need to have your phone with you. So I just don't have a phone with me and I just have an Apple Watch and I don't have many options on it, and so I just am completely out of touch.
May Martin
I love that.
Tig Notaro
And it's just. It's been such a nice experiment. Obviously, I'm like, emailing, like, on my flight out to Orlando. Those are always really great moments to Catch up on emails and everything. But the. Whatever. I'm just.
May Martin
No scrolling.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I just. I. As I mentioned, that kind of influx of information I wasn't even looking for. It really hit me on a deep, deep level. And that's not to say I'm not seeking out. You know, like, I looked and. Oh, yeah, sure, I seek out news. But also, like, after the Colbert finale, I went and looked at clips on YouTube and. Yeah, I don't know, I just feel. And I always want to say I could end up tick, tock, tick tomorrow, but for right now. Yeah, for right now, I'm just really enjoying the distance from everything and taking in the real world very differently.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
I wonder what that would feel like for me. Because, like, for instance, the. The hell Michigan thing, that's like. That feels like pressing news to me. Like, that I had to. I make. I made a note of it in my phone, and it's like I'm seeing thousands of those things a day. I must have scrolled past that and been like. And then wrote it down. It's like, what if I just made space of all that trivia and little things?
Tig Notaro
Yeah, well, it depends on what you're looking for.
Fortune Feimster
You want to have as many Mayfax?
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
May Martin
Yeah. Well, I do have a lot of focus. A lot of fact books from tour that people gave me.
Tig Notaro
Oh, real quick, I was. Stephanie and I were at a wedding this last weekend, and you know the comedian. Yes, you do. Atsuko Okotzuka. She and her husband were there, and she was joking that. Because she was like, oh, I saw you're not on Instagram anymore. And I said, oh, yeah. And. And she goes, well, I'm gonna start doing proof of life when I see you. Just post things of you. Tig was last seen in Montecito. Yeah, I thought that was really funny.
May Martin
That's really good.
Fortune Feimster
At least you have this podcast. People will know you're still what you're up to.
Tig Notaro
Well, yeah, obviously. It's not like I'm erased from the Internet or anything.
Fortune Feimster
You will not exist to.
May Martin
What if you just started, like, fading away? Like. Like just becoming kind of translucent and then fading away.
Tig Notaro
I'm open to it.
May Martin
Yeah. You know, to becoming a vapor.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, whatever.
May Martin
Sure.
Fortune Feimster
I'm.
Tig Notaro
I'm curious to head down different roads,
Fortune Feimster
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Tig Notaro
support with Honey Love in partnership with Airbnb. Let's talk about our spring travel plans. Fortune. I feel like every summer my family gets a little bit more adventurous with our travel plans, but there's a hitch.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah? What might that be?
Tig Notaro
They're now getting really into competitive sports. And that means we're now traveling around their team schedules.
Fortune Feimster
Hmm. Let me guess. They're having you stay in a bare bones hotel on the side of a highway somewhere.
Tig Notaro
That's right. So for the next big weekend, we decided to mix things up and find a home on Airbnb to stay at instead. We found a place with a massive yard so they could keep playing baseball with their pals on the team day and night. Plus, it's got a pool, unlike the hotel we were supposed to stay at. It's even got a tree house.
Fortune Feimster
Wow, that sounds incredible. But I have one important question for you. Is there a hot tub?
Tig Notaro
Oh, Fortune, there is indeed a hot tub. So maybe after the boys go to bed, Stephanie and I will have some tub time together. And that's what I love about finding a place on Airbnb. Instead of being trapped in our room, we get this whole unique experience. So if you're listening, go check out Airbnb and have your own adventure.
May Martin
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Tig Notaro
Whether your vibe is modern, coastal, farmhouse, or eclectic, Wayfair has options to help you create an outdoor space that's uniquely yours. Wayfair makes it simple to narrow down to what works for your style and budget. We got a couple deck chairs for our upstairs porch that are perfect for lounging with a book. We had some very specific dimensions to work with, but Wayfair's filters made it easy to find something that was exactly
May Martin
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Tig Notaro
But I'm. It is. It's. I have to say I'm genuinely enjoying this transition I've been doing of like I said, a few months ago, moved to Apple Watch and then it also naturally came up where I was like, I don't want to be on social media. And yeah, I'm just. It just feels good.
May Martin
This is a boring question, but can you use your Apple Watch to get your maps on in your car? You know what I mean? Yeah, you can navigate and just use it. Okay, cool.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And you can. There's, you know, you have choices of what you have and I try to just have. Not inundated by, you know.
May Martin
Yeah. Okay.
Tig Notaro
Email stuff.
May Martin
I'm love. I'm driving a lot and I'm. I love. I love the maps. I love the little. I have a little British voice going Sunset. I wish it was Debbie or Paul McCartney.
Fortune Feimster
Okay, well, you definitely need to know where you're going. Yeah, that was a. That was a good Paul accent. I'll try to work on mine.
May Martin
I just listened to a podcast with him talking about what it was like in. In Liverpool growing up post war and what effect that had on their music. I'm. I'm trying to listen to less true crime, like inspired by you, Tig, and what your embodies taken in. I'm listening to less horrific true crime and instead I'm listening to like World War I podcasts and stuff and that are equally grotesque and awful. But in a way it's reassuring because things feel so cruel sometimes. Now and then you're like, oh, it's always been really. It's always, always the trend.
Tig Notaro
Regularly beheaded.
May Martin
Yeah. Regular. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
You know, and people would watch. Drawn in court into it.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
May Martin
They'd be cheering. Yeah. Yeah. So at least.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, at least that's also still happening in some places.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But, yeah, it's just like it's. There's so much dreadful history in the world. And it is like you said, it is oddly reassuring to know that it's always been bad.
May Martin
And it's kind of interesting. Like, I'm onto the French Revolution now, which is always interesting. But you're like, okay, where. What point did it have to get to for the people to. But then they beheaded all these. Well, Marie Antoinette I'm interested in because I, I didn't realize she was like 12 when she got married to. Oh my gosh, another 12 year old. They were. It was like she was Austrian and then.
Tig Notaro
Wait, they were both 12?
May Martin
They were both about 12, 13. And he was, I think Louis the 15th and France. And they married them off to sort of align the two countries. And then she became this crazy projection of everybody's rage and desire and. Yeah. And she's pretty interesting. I want to watch that movie. Kind of like me.
Fortune Feimster
Exactly like that.
May Martin
Oh, my God, I love that.
Tig Notaro
That's funny.
May Martin
That was funny what you said.
Tig Notaro
That was.
May Martin
Well, should we, should we get our question?
Tig Notaro
Let's do it.
Fortune Feimster
Today's Question is brought to you by
May Martin
AT T. Today's Question Asker is a comedian and actor who starred in the FX comedy Baskets and played the title character in the animated TV show Carol in the End of the World. She was nominated for an Emmy for her work in Euphoria and stars in the third season of the show Out Now. Martha Kelly is asking today's question.
Tig Notaro
And I have to say, Martha is a dear old pal of mine. We came up in the early days like open mics with like Zach Galifianakis and Maria Bamford. And Martha was always like just the most ridiculous person that was so nervous, stood outside of the spotlight, I think even once hid behind a bookshelf on stage. But she and I have such a history together and touring. She and I did this knock, knock, it's Tig Notaro tour on Showtime where we went and did people's homes, like our fan base. We went, performed in their homes. And Martha and I always would get in little fights where she wouldn't allow me to drive my own car and like, and my endless, endless. I know we have to get into her thing, but like, one time Martha was on a diet where she could only have like strictly. A strictly potato diet.
May Martin
No.
Tig Notaro
And she's you know, she's very much like, I need this and we have to get this. And so we were driving around looking for a potato and we pulled over. There were two other comedians with us. We pull over, we all stand in this long line to order our food. We all get our food, get back in the van. And she is outraged, gets in the car. They didn't serve potatoes. And all of us in the car, the rest of the comedians, we all have our food and we're just chowing down and she is, she's like, you know, the angry mom carpooling, like peeling out in the minivan that we're in tour. And we all got very quiet and like, oh man, we can't mess with her. She hasn't had her potato today. But she also, God, makes me laugh so hard. And I don't know, people might know her more as an actor now, but man, is she a funny. Stand up. She's funny. Walking through the world. Yeah. And acting. Stand everything. She's just a delightfully ridiculous human being that I adore.
May Martin
So I remember Knock knock. Gets signature. I remember that with. And John Doerr did some.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah. John Doer. Martha makes a, an appearance, I think in the very beginning of it.
May Martin
Okay, I want to re. Watch.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Anyway, Martha Kelly.
Martha Kelly
Hi, I'm Martha Kelly. I'm on Euphoria. And my question is for each of you to answer individually. If you were trapped on a desert island with one of the chipmunks, would it be, would you choose Alvin, Simon or Theodore? And unfortunately, this is not hypothetical. I have already paid the contract. You are each going to be kidnapped and stranded on a desert island. So please answer seriously because your future depends on it.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, no, no, I wouldn't mind. I don't want to be on a desert island. I'm too fair skinned.
May Martin
I want to see what I'm made of. And I like the idea that if you're kidnapped on an island, no one could be mad at you. You know, you're like.
Tig Notaro
And no one can be attracted to you either. May.
May Martin
Exactly. You're not a projection of everyone's rage and desire anymore.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Trying to survive.
Tig Notaro
I love that Martha thinks she just assumes we know the, the chipmunks.
Fortune Feimster
You guys are gonna have a lot to say about the chipmunks.
Tig Notaro
This is gonna really open up a conversation.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, this devil. I don't know how we're gonna fit in all the things we have to say about the chipmunks in this episode.
Tig Notaro
I know. I have so much to Say, did y'.
Fortune Feimster
All, did any of you watch the Chipmunks growing up?
Tig Notaro
I saw it. My. My father in law is very into the Chipmunks and he's shown Max and Finn and I feel like it's. Is it that kind of older kind of show? Thomas.
May Martin
They've brought it back. They brought it back. But now. But it used to be in the 80s, right?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Well, like when I was growing, when I was young, it was like a popular cartoon on TV, but like in our. In, I don't know, 15 years ago, they made a animated movie of it.
Tig Notaro
Right, okay.
Fortune Feimster
Or 10 years ago. I don't know how long it was.
May Martin
Yeah, it started in 1958 as Novelty Records with like the sped up squeaky voices.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. So this is my father in law's time.
May Martin
And then the show is in the early 60s.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And then there is that Christmas song.
Tig Notaro
What is it?
Fortune Feimster
We Can Hardly Stand the Weight. Please, Christmas, Don't Be Late. Yep. Wow.
Tig Notaro
I. That doesn't even sound remotely familiar to me.
Fortune Feimster
I can't do the chipmunk voice.
May Martin
The hula hoop thing sounded familiar to me, so.
Tig Notaro
Well, you've probably heard of hula hoops.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Because there's the Alvin.
Tig Notaro
No, I don't know that the father.
May Martin
They're. The human that they live with is always annoying.
Tig Notaro
They have a human father?
May Martin
Just a friend. Just a friend.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, it's a friend. Yeah. Oh, I thought it was like a father figure, A human friend that always yelled at Alvin. It wasn't Alvin. Kind of the, like, mischievous one.
May Martin
Well, Thomas has sent a link here,
Tig Notaro
so just briefly, I'm just going with Alvin. Okay. I. I take Alvin.
Fortune Feimster
Well, we have. Let's go through what each.
May Martin
The main qualities of each. Okay.
Tig Notaro
It feels like a version of the Golden Girls situation.
May Martin
It really does.
Tig Notaro
What are we talking about?
May Martin
So Alvin's like the tr. Troublemaker. The. The leader. The term look before you leap does not apply to him. He's an emotional roller coaster. He's enthusiastic. He's kind of greedy and selfish. But he loves his brothers and he's fearless and he'll stick up for them. He does not like anybody touching his cap. And he has no trouble in saying, don't touch the cap.
Tig Notaro
Okay.
May Martin
Okay. Simon Seville. Simon is the oldest nerdy one. He's tall. He's the middle child, and he's. Sorry, not oldest. He has an IQ bigger than Einstein and he's got a dry sense of humor and a keen wit, and he's a chess master. And Simon worries a little bit. He worries about everyone.
Fortune Feimster
Theodore.
Tig Notaro
We found out that May was just riffing all this.
May Martin
And then Theodore is the youngest and he's innocent. He's loving, gullible, trusting, naive. He. He often is the peacemaker between his two brothers and appeals to Theodore's better nature. And his sweet nature makes him an easy target for bullies. But then they'll have to answer to his big brothers. His color is green.
Tig Notaro
Can you repeat those again?
Fortune Feimster
For real? Do you guys resonate with any of those?
May Martin
Well, I'm thinking about being stranded on desert island. You don't want someone greedy and who. Who doesn't think before they leap. I think you want. I'm going with Theodore. Even though he's serious.
Fortune Feimster
And I think I want Simon.
May Martin
You want sweet little Simon?
Fortune Feimster
I want Simon because he's so smart.
May Martin
No, Theodore is smart.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, I felt Simon was smart.
May Martin
Simon is smart.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Simon has the Einstein.
May Martin
Oh, my God, you're right. Okay, I'm going Simon as well. Sorry.
Tig Notaro
Nobody wants Theodore.
May Martin
Well, you're trying to survive. You don't want to be.
Fortune Feimster
Theodore is the peacemaker. We don't.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
We don't need to get along. We just need to survive.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Almond does seem like he would be fun.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So, like, he would keep. He would keep things lively. Theodore might just be too boring.
May Martin
Wait a minute there. This human is their father. It says Dave Seville. Like any other single parent trying to raise three chips.
Fortune Feimster
Single dad trying to raise three chipmunks. It's not easy.
Tig Notaro
Shows get green lit.
Fortune Feimster
Well, it started in the 60s. It was popular when I was a kid. That's what he would yell, and I was like, man, must be hard to be a single dad.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
You know all those single dads out there raising three chipmunks?
Tig Notaro
So where's his. His wife must have been a chipmunk. Right?
May Martin
That's what's worrying me.
Fortune Feimster
I don't think that the dad. I don't think biologically he's the dad. I think you know how chipmunks kind of make their way.
Tig Notaro
Oh, he adopted them. He adopted them.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Let's not get crazy here, okay?
Tig Notaro
Okay.
Fortune Feimster
I haven't. I honestly have not thought about the chipmunks in so long. It's so.
Tig Notaro
Since Christmas time.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, of course. I listen to that song every Christmas. It's funny, though, because I have not thought about any chipmunking forever. But I just went to the zoo and I haven't been to the zoo in forever.
Tig Notaro
By yourself.
Fortune Feimster
And I know. With some friends. And I kept seeing chipmunks. Running around.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I love it.
May Martin
I love a little chipmunk.
Tig Notaro
They're so cute.
Fortune Feimster
I couldn't believe. Luckily the zoo was a very like. You know, sometimes you hear about zoos and they seem like depressing.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
This is the Atlanta Zoo. Run very well. And the habitats are amazing. These, you can tell these animals are well cared for. I couldn't believe how childlike I became.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
At the zoo going like, look, look at, look at the orangutan over there.
May Martin
Oh my God. Yes.
Fortune Feimster
You know, I'm just like, I became a legit 7 year old. So much for every animal.
May Martin
Okay, Thomas, put it on the list. We got to take Fortune to the zoo because I need to see that version of you. Fortune.
Fortune Feimster
Silverback.
May Martin
Yeah.
Martha Kelly
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Look at the tire. Look at the tiger. It's in the room.
Tig Notaro
Could just replay this. Us.
May Martin
Yeah, true.
Tig Notaro
We could edit in pictures of different animals and show Fortune. I was like, oh my gosh. Can social media make that video where saying different animals and then they show a picture of the animal quickly.
May Martin
Can you do an elephant? Fortune, do the elephant one. Elephants.
Tig Notaro
Oh my God.
May Martin
Giraffe, zebras.
Fortune Feimster
I was like every single animal I'd acted like I've never seen this animal before. And if they were like hiding in any crevice. Nevis. I was like, you can see the tail. Look, look, look, there's. And I was not doing this to be funny. I legit was like so present at the zoo in a way I've not experienced with myself in a very long time.
May Martin
Oh, I love that. And then I love that even adults, like, when you're leaving the zoo, the question is always, what was your favorite animal? Like, which was. Which was your favorite? Which, which was.
Fortune Feimster
Mine was definitely the orangutan.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I mean all the monkeys. It was very fun to see them. The, the chimps climbing on each other and amazing. You know, the light, the, the lions were right by the window and their paws are just so massive. It's like crazy. Yeah, Yeah. I was, I was very impressed with their setup there. They, they put a lot of care and money into the zoo, I think.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I don't like the reptiles. Really not into those.
May Martin
You don't like the cold blooded.
Fortune Feimster
I went into the little hall with all the snakes and the komodo dragon.
Tig Notaro
If someone came up behind you and you were looking at a snake and went, would you.
Fortune Feimster
I would jump to, yeah.
May Martin
Wait, so now Fortune. So socials can edit in like the reptile hall. Can you do your reaction to. Yeah, great, great.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
My mom had a black snake climb up her door last week. Black and black snakes are the. Of all the snakes, that's the friendliest one. You want them around because they help with your garden and they kill like predators and yada, yada, but still, it's a big ass snake. This was a massive snake. It climbed up her door and it coiled itself around her door handle. Oh, whoa. No, she was inside. It was a screen door and her friend happened to see it and they were like, well, we're not leaving. That snake stayed there for like an hour and a half.
May Martin
Just.
Fortune Feimster
My mom was just like trapped in her home for an hour.
Tig Notaro
That's like a, you know, the beginning maybe of a horror film.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I don't know. Never mind. I don't want to go wide with that pitch.
May Martin
I like. I like the idea of being on a desert island with a chipmunk because they could. Could get to the places that you can't get to. Like, they could get the coconuts from the tree. They could go into little caves and find things for you to eat, hopefully.
Fortune Feimster
Thank you for bringing this back full circle.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, that's me trying to get out of this episode.
May Martin
Oh, no, I would.
Fortune Feimster
If it were up, the chipmunks could go reach that you could not get. This is true.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
But, yeah. I don't know about this contract that we have to be stuck on a deserted island.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. It's funny that Martha. Martha said a contract because we have an ongoing joke over the years of anything terrible that happens in life. We're always like, where do I sign?
May Martin
That's good.
Tig Notaro
Oh. Because we were presented a very bad contract once for to buy a project that we were pitching. And that might be where that started was where do I sign?
May Martin
Because they were like, sign here and you'll have no ownership over it. We'll give you zero dollars.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
We're gonna go straight into production.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Where do I sign?
Fortune Feimster
Do you think Martha has an answer?
Tig Notaro
I would say Martha's Alvin. Really?
Fortune Feimster
Okay, let's see what Martha thinks.
Tig Notaro
Well, you know, she likes to have a good time.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. She seems like she'd be a little mischievous.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I'm.
May Martin
But I'm just thinking not in terms of company, in terms of survival. You want the smart. Unless you're gonna cook and eat the chipmunk.
Fortune Feimster
No.
Tig Notaro
Well, see, I have to laugh and have a good time in order to survive.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
That's gonna keep me going is to have that kind of joy in my heart.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. I just feel Like, Alvin wouldn't really want to contribute to the, like duties.
May Martin
I know.
Fortune Feimster
That's my concern. When they're so fun, they usually have gotten by on their personality and they haven't had to do anything.
Martha Kelly
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But they can come up with ways to. They're thinking outside of the box.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Okay, let's hear what Martha has to
Martha Kelly
say, and then should I do my answer?
Tig Notaro
Yes.
Martha Kelly
So I'm also. I paid to be kidnapped to go on a desert island, and I chose Theodore. I do feel like he would be my soulmate. I love all three of the Chipmunks, but Theodore and I have a shared passion for pizza and cookies and Cheetos and just sitting around having a great time. And so I actually can't wait to go and spend time with him.
Tig Notaro
Okay. I just found out through this video that Martha is no longer vegan.
May Martin
Oh.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
She had called me to help her start her vegan diet.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And it seems like maybe she's.
Fortune Feimster
I think she's.
Tig Notaro
She's even. She's off the potato wagon too, apparently.
Fortune Feimster
Well, that's a difficult one to maintain.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, it sure was. Try going on tour with somebody who needs a potato for every meal.
Fortune Feimster
That would be. That would be very tough to accommodate. I was like, you're not getting a potato today.
May Martin
I can't think of, of any nutritional reason why that would be advised as a diet, but just potatoes.
Fortune Feimster
You.
Tig Notaro
You don't ask any questions. Martha's got a new diet she's trying. You just get on board and you spend your time on tour looking for that potato. Well, and if she does, Theodore, then somebody's chosen everybody at this point. Right?
May Martin
Yeah. Simon's got to choose between me and Fortune.
Fortune Feimster
That's right. Or we're all stuck together.
May Martin
Oh, great.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. Who is Simon gonna choose?
May Martin
I don't know.
Fortune Feimster
I don't know. Probably May, because May's watched all the Survivor and probably has picked up a few points.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, but you've watched all the album in the Alvin and the Chipmunks
Fortune Feimster
and I did go to the zoo.
May Martin
Yeah, that's true.
Fortune Feimster
That's true.
May Martin
I'm allergic to coconuts, which will.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, that's gonna be hard because we will rely on coconuts and its water.
May Martin
This is why I couldn't play Survivor because they survive off coconut. That's the only reason that I would.
Tig Notaro
The only reason coconut is between you and Survivor.
May Martin
Me and a million bucks.
Fortune Feimster
Being a part of Survivor would be my literal nightmare. Me being on the show would be like, what did I Do wrong. How did I get punished in order to be here?
May Martin
Crazy that Mike White went back season 50. He played for the second time and he was literally season 50. Yes. Thank you.
Fortune Feimster
That's a huge anniversary season.
Tig Notaro
I think you mentioned that.
May Martin
So Mike White, who. He was writing White Lotus and went back and did it. Not great.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
May Martin
He didn't make it to the jury, but I think there was a big target on his back, you know?
Tig Notaro
Do celebrities typically go on Survivor?
May Martin
No, I think he is the only celebrity. Well, Elizabeth Hasselbeck became a celebrity after playing, but no, no one.
Tig Notaro
Is she still a celebrity?
May Martin
She's sort of.
Fortune Feimster
I don't know where she went. Kind of went. Is she still disappeared, like, doing journalism
May Martin
stuff, like presenting, interviewing stuff. But they should do a celebrity season of if. I would respect anyone who would be that exposed. Like, you have no control over the edit. You got no makeup. You're your true person.
Fortune Feimster
No makeup.
May Martin
That would be a big deal for me. No clear mascara.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, no.
May Martin
No lip.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah. You can't. You can't be on an island without your face on.
Fortune Feimster
I don't have any lip taint.
May Martin
But I know, like, Nick Offerman and Megan Mulally are big fans. Like, I'd love to see them play or.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God. To see their dynamic.
May Martin
That would be great. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Well, lovely. Well, I mean, that's the thing about this podcast. You never know what we're gonna end up talking about because we never know what people are gonna ask us.
Tig Notaro
We had no idea Martha Kelly was gonna ask us about Alvin and the Chipmunks. We did not see that coming. But now that it's happened, it makes sense.
Fortune Feimster
That's right.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
May Martin
Now I'm glad about it.
Tig Notaro
It makes sense. Well, wonderful to see you, friends.
May Martin
Wonderful to see you, Tig.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
May Martin
Fortunate to have the best time in Europe.
Fortune Feimster
Thank you.
Tig Notaro
If anybody cares, I will be doing some shows in Los Angeles. I'm also going to be in Rochester, Colorado Springs, Calgary, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia. The road goes on forever. Please come out and say hello right to my face from your seat. But don't say it actually from your seat. You know, let me do my show.
Fortune Feimster
Right.
May Martin
If anyone wants to make a little road trip, wouldn't it be fun if we just went nuts and sold out these festivals? I'm doing playing music at the Hillside Festival in Guelph on the 17th of July, and on the 19th, I'm in Yellowknife doing a music festival. And then I'm gonna be at Just for laughs in Montreal right after that. But oh, my God, how cool if. If a bunch of people just showed up in Yellowknife, that would be great.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God. Got to.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, that's too. I just have a few shows June 18th and 19th, Portland, Maine, and Detroit, Michigan, June 20th, and then Red Bank, New Jersey, August 8th, and that's it until I figure out the rest of my tour. But also coming up, my show that I did with Will Ferrell is going to be airing on Netflix in a couple weeks called yeah, guys.
May Martin
Also, we have new merch For Pride Month, handsomepod.com We've got a tie dye T shirt, a bandana, a new hat, and a tank top. And they're good.
Fortune Feimster
They're real fun. This is.
Tig Notaro
They're really good.
Fortune Feimster
We got some good stuff.
May Martin
And don't forget to watch us on Hulu one day early.
Tig Notaro
What a podcast. Make sure you subscribe, rate, review, send your favorite episodes to your loved ones. Help us build this handsome community. And until next time, keep it handsome.
May Martin
Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handsomepodmail.com and please follow us on social media at. Handsome. Handsome Pod.
Fortune Feimster
What a podcast.
May Martin
That was A Headgum podcast.
Fortune Feimster
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if my mom has something to keep her busy while I'm podcasting at her house. Oops. Turns out Ginger has some opinions she wants to share on the podcast, but she doesn't have a microphone. At least not yet.
May Martin
Yeah, checking first is Handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.
Fortune Feimster
And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.
Tig Notaro
Each episode, we're gonna go into a
May Martin
deep dive from our show.
Fortune Feimster
This is us.
May Martin
That's right. We're gonna go episode by episode.
Martha Kelly
We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot? A whole lot.
May Martin
That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was Us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Episode Date: June 16, 2026
Question Asker: Martha Kelly
Theme: If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one of the Chipmunks—Alvin, Simon, or Theodore—which would you choose, and why?
This episode of "Handsome" kicks off with a characteristically playful and wide-ranging catch-up between hosts Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin before welcoming comedian and actor Martha Kelly, who presents a delightfully oddball question: which Chipmunk would you pick as your island companion (and no, this "contract" is not optional)? Along the way, the trio navigates topics from run-ins with Paul McCartney, the interpersonal drama of Survivor 50, healthy eating vs. European cheese binges, celebrity fandoms, and reflections on the comfort of history’s horrors—before diving deep into Chipmunk logic.
Tig’s Orlando gig and Fortune’s European travel plans:
"I went to the farmer's market and bought a bunch of stuff to make myself cook for the rest of the week... and I lost like £3 for a week of eating like that." — Fortune
Burns in the quest for health:
"It almost made me be like, why am I doing this? But I knew the benefits would outweigh me getting burned." — Fortune
Tig at the Colbert Finale:
"Not just close to him. I met him. And I also got to sing 'Hello Goodbye' with him." — Tig [09:28]
"The feeling I had more than anything... was like, oh, we've been waiting for this moment our whole life." — Tig [10:25]
Fortune's McCartney moment at SNL:
"He pulled out, allegedly, a little joint... And I was like, yeah, get it." — Fortune [12:47]
[11:00] Discussion of Paul’s ageless “sexy cool hair” and general McCartney awe.
"He looks incredible. He's 83 years old." — Tig [11:00]
[17:08] Mae gushes about witnessing the Survivor 50 finale with Parvati ("the queen of Survivor"):
"This season of Survivor 50 was Shakespearean... these returning players who are like Greek gods on Mount Olympus..." — Mae [17:17]
"It was big for me." — Mae [21:35]
[22:00] Tig empathizes and asks about social lessons from Survivor:
"What have you walked away with?" — Tig
"The main lesson I've learned is that the people who win are the most adaptable, fluid people... you make your own luck, you know?" — Mae [22:49]
"It's been such a nice experiment... I just feel... I'm enjoying the distance from everything and taking in the real world very differently." — Tig [30:14, 31:24]
[37:37] Mae swaps out true crime podcasts for World War I and French Revolution podcasts:
"Things feel so cruel sometimes now, and then you're like, oh, it's always been really. It's always, always the trend." — Mae
[38:30]
"There's so much dreadful history in the world... it is oddly reassuring to know that it's always been bad." — Tig
[43:27] Martha Kelly, in a voice memo, delivers the episode’s question:
"If you were trapped on a desert island with one of the Chipmunks, would it be Alvin, Simon, or Theodore? ...Not hypothetical. I have already paid the contract. You are each going to be kidnapped and stranded on a desert island. So please answer seriously because your future depends on it." — Martha Kelly [42:54]
Quick rundown of Chipmunks ([46:15–47:17]):
Comparisons draw-outs:
Fortune chooses: Simon.
"I want Simon because he's so smart." — Fortune [47:53]
Mae, after facts, switches to: Simon
"Oh my God, you’re right. Okay, I'm going Simon as well. Sorry." — Mae [48:07]
Tig originally takes Alvin:
"I take Alvin." — Tig [46:08]
[55:42]
"I chose Theodore. I do feel like he would be my soulmate. I love all three of the chipmunks, but Theodore and I have a shared passion for pizza and cookies and Cheetos and just sitting around having a great time." — Martha Kelly
Fortune visits the Atlanta Zoo and becomes "childlike," finding joy in animals (especially orangutans and monkeys):
"I couldn't believe how childlike I became at the zoo going like, look, look at the orangutan over there." — Fortune [50:16]
On reptiles: "Really not into those." — Fortune [52:05]
On chipmunks: "They could get to the places you can’t get to..." — Mae [53:27]
On meeting Paul McCartney:
"We've been waiting for this moment our whole life." — Tig [10:25] "He pulled out, allegedly, a little joint... And I was like, yeah, get it." — Fortune [12:47]
On Survivor:
"Every day is a new day. You could completely turn the game around." — Mae [23:30]
On digital detox:
"For right now, I'm just really enjoying the distance from everything and taking in the real world very differently." — Tig [31:24]
On the Chipmunks question:
"We don’t need to get along. We just need to survive." — Fortune [48:18]
| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------| | 03:00 | Fortune’s Europe plans, pre-vacation health| | 08:28 | Tig’s Paul McCartney story | | 12:03 | Fortune’s SNL Paul McCartney story | | 17:08 | Mae on Survivor 50 finale | | 22:00 | Survivor social dynamics discussion | | 29:35 | Tig’s Apple Watch/digital detox | | 37:37 | Mae on comfort in dark history | | 42:54 | Martha’s Chipmunks question arrives | | 46:15 | Chipmunks character breakdown | | 55:42 | Martha’s answer—chooses Theodore | | 50:16 | Fortune at the zoo, joy in animals |
The episode is warm, irreverent, occasionally chaotic, and always affectionate. Like the best sleepover chats, it blends real-life vulnerability with random pop culture, honest snack talk, and the ridiculous hypothetical. Even if you missed the show, you’ll feel like you were hanging out on their conversational island—and maybe still pondering: who’s your Chipmunk?