Martha Plimpton asks about astrological signs

Summary

"Handsome" Podcast Episode Summary

Episode: Martha Plimpton asks about astrological signs
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Date: September 30, 2025
Theme: Exploring Astrological Signs — How the hosts are (and aren't) like their zodiac signs, prompted by Martha Plimpton. Includes comedic banter, personal stories, and playful digs at astrology.

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Episode Overview

In this episode, comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin answer a question from Emmy-winning actress Martha Plimpton about how they do and don’t embody the traits of their astrological signs. The conversation weaves between personal anecdotes, astrological stereotypes, playful skepticism, and the hosts’ typical offbeat humor. The episode also features memorable moments regarding celebrity name pronunciations, shared experiences from recent projects, and, as always, a parade of silly tangents.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Hypothetical Body Sharing and Food Preferences

[02:12 – 05:17]

• The hosts riff on the idea of all three sharing one body, debating who would control the "ship" at any time.
  • Mae imagines herself as a possible "control freak" in this scenario.
  • Fortune notes the food conflicts: "Tig's a vegan... and I would be like, ugh, I'm really feeling naughty today." ([04:29])
  • Tig considers late-night “snack attacks”: "You do late night cravings while I'm asleep?" ([05:00])
• Frequent “yes, and” improvisational banter strengthens their camaraderie.

2. Recent Life Updates: Shows, Collaborations, and Accents

[07:39 – 14:05]

• Mae discusses her Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) premiere, likening it to a wedding—friends from the past, emotional full-circle moments, and seeing herself on the big screen for the first time.

  • "It was just like a lot of full circle... we've, like, transmuted this awful experience." ([08:12])
  • On feedback: "If you go into it expecting a procedural crime thriller, you're going to be disappointed. But if you go in expecting a sort of twin Peaksy, sort of spooky, then you might be... into it." ([09:05])

• Fortune shares early days filming with Will Ferrell, expressing joy and comedic synergy: "It's such a trip. I just can't believe I'm getting to go toe-to-toe with this comedy legend." ([12:18])

• Tig recounts tea-drinking with her kids and upcoming family travel to London, expressing excitement about exposing the family to the British side of Stephanie’s heritage. ([19:36])

Memorable Accent Play

• The trio delights in (and critiques) each other’s attempts at British, Australian, and Southern accents (“No, it's my English accent.” — Fortune, [21:24]). Mae's "public radio" impersonation evokes much laughter.

3. Name Pronunciation Rabbit Hole

[24:24 – 37:07]

• Extended debate on the correct pronunciations of "Angelina Jolie," "Abby Wambach," and "Raven-Symoné," punctuated by Google searching audio clips.
  • Mae: "Is it Jolie or Jolie?" ([28:06])
  • Fortune: "Jolie!"
  • Tig: "Everyone has a duty to relinquish how their name should be pronounced." ([31:07])
• The segment includes a hilarious revelation: Tig is on Raven-Symoné’s mysterious holiday group text. ([32:43])

4. Martha Plimpton’s Question: Astrological Signs

[37:20 – 61:46]

Martha’s Question

• Martha Plimpton (voice message at [37:37]):
  "Regardless of whether or not you believe in astrology, how are you most like your astrological sign? And how are you least like your astrological sign?"

Each Host’s Response:

Fortune (Cancer) [~40:08]

• “Cancers are emotional, sensitive... we have a hard shell, like a crab... but we’re soft inside.”
• Says she’s not that “moody” as Cancers are supposed to be, but resonates with the need for security and being empathic: “If you do us dirty, we retreat. But if you make us mad, we snap you.”
• Reads off Cancer qualities and finds some fitting, others not:
  • Positive: emotionally intelligent, nurturing, caring, resilient.
  • Negative (less accurate): moody, irritable, clingy, "hypersensitive"—she’s "sensitive" but not to the point of needing “kid gloves.” ([41:49])

Mae (Taurus) [42:40]

• “I think about Taurus as, like... stubborn, sensitive, loyal. Well, am I loyal?”
• Notes being born premature (almost a Gemini), but feels personality matches Taurus: stubborn, needing home comfort, romantic, sometimes whimsical.
• Fortune (reading from a rundown): Tauruses are "relaxed and contented or hyped up and ready to charge." Taurus people "hate being rushed" (Mae: "I hate being rushed.") and supposedly have “long and elegant necks.” ([44:47])
• Admits some attributes are oddly specific or don’t fit ("I like things and objects in my space”).

Tig (Aries) [45:41]

• Emphasizes decisiveness and forward movement: “My personality, when I get an idea, I move forward,” confirmed by Stephanie calling this approach “yeah, this can wait.”
• Finds herself less moody than Aries are known for; thinks impulses look impulsive to others, but are usually well-considered internally.
• On impatience: “I don’t see myself as impatient... but if so, I’m curious to hear...” ([48:40])—Mae notes Tig nudges her to drive faster sometimes. ([48:46])
• Rudeness: Recognizes her dry humor is sometimes misread as rudeness, but it’s mostly delivery.

Mayan Astrology Diversion ([50:46])

• Mae finds each host’s Mayan sign (e.g., Tig is a “white spectral dog”: "I dissolve in order to love, releasing loyalty...") leading to much giggling and confusion.

Astrology Skepticism and Amusement

• All hosts acknowledge the mixture of entertainment and skepticism.
  • “It just seems like online, all the astrology accounts... it’s always something massive happening astrologically. Like, every day, it’s like, guys, today is it, portal day...” — Mae ([55:39])
  • “I do feel, as much as I don’t necessarily connect to all that, I do feel curious and I love hearing about it.” — Tig ([56:08])
  • Fortune says she’s checked date compatibility in her dating years, finding fun in comparing signs ([56:51]).

5. Martha Plimpton’s Own Sign and Candid Response

[59:08 – 61:36]

• Martha is a Scorpio and describes the associated (and often scandalous) stereotypes:
  • "I automatically have a reputation... aggressive and crazy, maybe a little bit demonic, maybe a little bit toxic, and also sexually voracious and, you know, like I will rip a man's head off after I have sex with him..." ([59:08])
  • But, she jokes, "I am least like the perception... I will likely just express an A level of boredom."
  • Relates to Scorpio loyalty: "Loyalty means a lot to me... but once I’ve learned my lesson... they're out. So, I don’t know how funny or amusing this is... I may have just revealed way more about myself..."
• The hosts react with laughter, admiration, and appreciation for her candor; Tig observes, “That was one of the most thorough responses, not just on this podcast, but I think ever, that anyone has ever given.” ([61:46])

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Notable Quotes

• Mae: “It was just like a lot of full circle, like... we’ve, like, transmuted this awful experience.” ([08:12])
• Fortune: “Cancers can be moody. I would say that is where I'm not exactly. Like, I get quiet... but I'm not, like, a moody person." ([40:45])
• Tig: “My personality, when I get an idea, I move forward... at the end of the day when [Stephanie] comes home, I'm like, 'Oh, by the way, I reached out to investors,' and she'll go, 'Yeah, this can wait.’” ([46:36])
• Martha Plimpton (voice message): “I will not rip a man's head off after having sex with him. I will likely just express an A level of boredom.” ([60:04])
• Tig: “I don’t necessarily connect to all that, [astrology] but I do feel curious and I love hearing about it.” ([56:08])
• Mae: "It should be illegal to have a turdy toilet around Angelina Jolie." ([28:02])

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Key Segments with Timestamps

• Body-sharing/food control games: [02:12 – 05:17]
• Stories about TIFF, new shows, and filming with Will Ferrell: [07:39 – 14:05]
• Accent play and British-vs-Australian bits: [21:23 – 22:44]
• Name pronunciation rabbit hole (Jolie, Wambach, Simone): [24:24 – 37:07]
• Martha’s astrological question and hosts’ sign analysis: [37:20 – 61:46]
  • Fortune (Cancer): [40:08 – 42:28]
  • Mae (Taurus): [42:40 – 45:39]
  • Tig (Aries): [45:41 – 50:38]
  • Mayan astrology poems: [50:46 – 53:41]
• Martha Plimpton’s voice memo (Scorpio reveal): [59:08 – 61:36]

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Tone & Style

Light-hearted, silly, and honest with irreverent, witty banter. The hosts fluidly shift between comedy, candid self-reflection, and pure nonsense, maintaining a welcoming, playful vibe throughout.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode is a quintessential "Handsome" experience: a meandering, character-driven conversation punctuated by sharp observations and absurdities. Whether you revere or ridicule astrology, you’ll find the hosts’ journey through star sign stereotypes relatable, hilarious, and oddly illuminating. The off-topic detours—pronouncing celebrity names, turd-in-the-toilet adventures, and the etiquette of British tea—enrich the fun, making for a vibrant, engaging listen.

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Closing

The episode concludes with Martha's heartfelt/irreverent answer, the hosts’ appreciation, and a light wrap-up on the true purpose of these discussions—to connect, poke fun, and, occasionally, maybe find a little truth in the stars.

Transcript

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[B]

Hey, it's your dear friend Tig Notaro sitting here on the Handsome Podcast with.

[A]

My co hosts, May Martin, also sitting here on the Handsome podcast and joined.

[C]

Finally by it's Fortune Fame sir also sitting here.

[B]

We are sitting here, which is different places.

[A]

Yeah, we're sitting in different places. But we're. Yes. Ending.

[B]

Yes and yes and go on.

[A]

And it makes me feel connected when we. Yes.

[C]

And it's so nice being connected because.

[B]

It feels bad when you're not connected.

[A]

I wish we all lived in the same body. Oh, wow.

[B]

Okay. And I'm out.

[A]

Can you imagine?

[B]

I'm out.

[A]

If we all had to, we. It was all three of our minds, but in one body. And so we had to take turns being like, can I be in control today? Like, because I want to go sit on a Bench or like, can I be on. Yeah.

[B]

So one person would be in control at a time.

[A]

At a time sort of driving the ship, while the other two just have to sit there.

[C]

That would definitely be a lot of communicating with each other and negotiating, which May would like.

[A]

That's all I want.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Here's my question. What if, like, May, what if you turned into and. And maybe you are but, like, a massive control freak. It has to all be you. You need to decide everything. Then what do we do? What do. What do us little, pretty little ladies do?

[A]

Well, because the way I'm picturing it is like in that movie Inside Out. Is that what it's called? Where. Where it's like we're numbskulls. Like, the three of us are sitting inside a brain and we're being like, can I get a turn on the control? So, yeah, you guys would just have to talk amongst yourselves, and I'd. I'd.

[B]

I know, but what if you were taking too much control? Like, you were like, I still. I don't want to let go of this. I just. It feels too good to have this kind of power. So we're going to another escape room.

[A]

Yeah, it sounds good to me. I mean, you guys would have to, like, forcibly take the controls back, I think.

[B]

How do we do that, though? This is your made up hogwash.

[A]

Overpower me. Overpower me physically.

[C]

I think I would just pipe up when it came to, like, ordering food.

[A]

Yeah, you'd be pretty amenable with everything else.

[C]

See, there'd be a problem because Tig's a vegan and.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And really genuinely loves healthy food. And I would be like, ugh, I'm really feeling naughty today.

[B]

Well, so wait, are you saying that we have, like, one body?

[A]

Yeah. One mouth. Oh, it's like being John Malkovich. But there's three of us inside.

[C]

Tigs out.

[A]

Now you're out.

[C]

Tig's like, I don't want to eat the garbage. Food that fortunate.

[A]

But fortune. We could wait till Tig falls asleep and then we order, like, whatever we want.

[B]

You do late night cravings while I'm asleep? That's right. Look, I like a snack and a treat and, you know, basket of fries and chips and a cookie more than the next pretty little lady. But, you know, it's more of, like, burgers. Yeah. Stuff like that.

[C]

It's the meat.

[B]

Yeah, it's the meat and it's the dairy. But listen here.

[C]

Oh, but cheese is so tasty. You know, I love me a charcuterie board. We do.

[B]

We know that. And so you're saying, Fortune, that it would just be wonderful to just spend the day rolling around, not worrying about anything. Except here comes the. The.

[C]

It's meal time.

[B]

Cheese.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe the three of us could be in Thomas's skull taking. And we're. We're in control of Thomas's day, you know.

[C]

Interesting.

[A]

What would we do? Sort his life out, I think. Not that it needs sorting, I guess, but, yeah.

[B]

Do you need your life sorted out by us?

[C]

Sort this out. I need your help.

[B]

Thomas is off the rails again.

[C]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

What's on your T shirt there? Tig and Fortune. Let's talk teas.

[B]

Let's talk teas.

[A]

I got Georgia. Georgia. Very nice.

[C]

It's for the University of Georgia. Go Dogs. My mom went there.

[B]

All right. And this is kcrw.

[A]

Is that radio station public radio?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You're listening to kcrw, which is exactly.

[B]

How public radio hosts. Hey, what's up? Thanks for tuning in to kcrw.

[C]

So. So what? It'd be more like, hello, everyone. Thank you for tuning in today. What a pleasure it is to be talking to all of you. I just got up from connecting with my listeners.

[A]

It'd be like, when we think about memory, where do we go in our minds? Is it to a physical place, or.

[B]

Are you suggesting that people on public radio have sinus issues?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm thinking of. Well, is. Is Ira Glass, public radio like this American Life? Yeah, because he's sort of. He's sort of like, today on the podcast, we're talking to people who. Is that pretty good?

[B]

No, I would not have guessed that.

[A]

That's during the podcast.

[B]

I'll be honest.

[C]

I would have guessed May Martin doing public radio.

[B]

That's so funny. I was just about to say that. Martin, if I heard that, I would say, who is May trying to impersonate right now? Never in a million years would I have guessed. Ira Glass. My apologies. Yeah.

[C]

Have you guys been up to anything fun?

[A]

I just got back from. From Tiff and had the premiere of my show there, and that was really. It felt like my wedding and. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've never had a wedding, but I assume you were the.

[C]

You were the belle of the ball.

[A]

Well, it was like Friends from the past. And even in the show, like, there's a.

[B]

No Friends from the future.

[A]

No. Well, how would I know? Maybe the whole audience. But yeah, like, even there's a guy on the show, Mark McKinney, who is from that show Superstore, and Kids in the hole.

[C]

And he.

[A]

I babysat for him when I was 13, and he's in the show. So it was just like a lot of full circle, like. Yeah. And the show's kind of based on my friend getting sent to this troubled teen institute, and so she came and then. That was more emotional than I anticipated. It was like, wow, man. We've, like, transmuted this awful experience. And she was a consultant on the show, and it was just nice.

[C]

And y' all got to watch the show on a big screen.

[A]

Yeah, we watched two episodes. Guys, listen, you've been in movies. You guys have done. I've never seen myself on a big screen like that. That was wild.

[C]

And how did the audience respond?

[A]

They seem to like it. Yeah, you know, you know, who knows? We'll see. It comes out.

[C]

I think it's going to be fan. It's going to be a hit. I can already tell.

[B]

And did you like it? Were you like, this is awesome. This looks great. It feels great. This is, this is. This is it.

[A]

I like it. Yeah, I like it. Obviously, I'm, I'm noticing, like, the tiny things where I, But, But I, Yeah, I'm, I'm proud of it. It's kind of, I think if you go into it expecting, like, a procedural crime thriller, you're going to be, like, disappointed. But if you go in expecting a sort of twin Peaksy, sort of spooky, then you might be. You might be into it. I'm excited. Well, when this podcast airs, it will have been out for five days, so put it on in the background.

[C]

Yeah. Need to tune in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, what if somebody went in with zero expectations?

[A]

That's ideal.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. That's so ideal.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What if they go in wanting love scenes, like, from feel good.

[A]

There's one. There's one.

[B]

Isn't there one insane, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it full frontal?

[A]

No, but it's almost worse. It's almost crazier. And I, I, I can't believe they let me keep it in because they made me take out a shot of my character injecting testosterone. They said that that would. That in their test viewings. People, People turned off and they were like, obviously, it's up to you, but, you know, we could just lose the injecting testosterone. And I was, like, obviously furious and, like. And then I was like, well, if it's going to get people into the show and then. And if I'm allowed to have this insane sex scene in episode five, then I'm happy to compromise on little Things. Because it's.

[C]

Everyone's forwarding to episode five.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, man. Well, I'm excited to watch it.

[A]

It was good. We got to see Toni Collette doing press with her in Toronto. And we bring out the witchy side. We went out kayaking under the full moon, the eclipse. And they were like, don't go past this barrier out into Lake Ontario. And Tony gets in the kayak immediately. Just kayaks out across the lake under the full moon. And we did spells and we wrote down what we want to release and dissolved it in. It was good. Yeah.

[C]

Y' all were in the same canoe or separate.

[A]

Separate kayaks. Our kayaks.

[B]

Also known as being in the same boat. Right.

[C]

Good one.

[A]

We were emotionally in the same boat.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And what was it like? Was it like my.

[B]

Here we go, here we go, here we go. There we go.

[C]

If I could. Wait, what accent is that?

[A]

We don't know.

[C]

Razor blades. Jennifer Lopez. Here's my. Here's what I'd like to. To talk about. Jennifer Lopez.

[A]

Wow. Wow.

[C]

I'd really like to get rid of razor blades. There's a huge issue.

[A]

Tony listens to the pod and every time there's an Australian accent, she'll comment and be like, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.

[C]

Tony. Yeah. I need you to calm down.

[A]

Get.

[C]

I'm working on it.

[A]

I supplied.

[C]

How are you?

[A]

What are you. What have you been up to? Oh, you started filming.

[C]

I did. I started filming this Will Ferrell show. Super fun. So far, everything I've shot is just Will and I. And it's such a trip. I'm like, I just can't believe I'm getting to go toe to toe with this, like, comedy legend.

[A]

Yeah, seriously. And find your, like, comedic groove together like that.

[C]

And he's like, such a nice guy. And chill vibe. Like, we just set was just easy. And we were out in the hot, hot ass sun. It was like almost 100 degrees. But everybody was like, you know, no, no complaining, just having a good time, laughing. It's pretty great.

[B]

We'll see how it goes. Day two.

[A]

I know.

[C]

That was my thought.

[A]

I was like, so this was day one, right? Y. Yeah, they do.

[C]

Everyone's like, oh, f this.

[B]

And that's a wrap on season one.

[C]

I'm like, it's amazing. You've been there one day.

[B]

Do you feel like when you know a production, you start to sniff out, like, oh, boy, this is way more complicated. Have you ever been like, I'm thinking about a. When I've been on Shows where I guest art or something. And I'm like, God, everybody's so nice. And then people are like, well, wait. I mean, you don't. There's a lot going on here.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I had that when I. I did one guest role on Glee. Remember that show, Glee? They had a lot of drama on their sets, I believe. And I filmed the second to the very last episode ever.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

The.

[C]

The. Everyone was, like, checked out.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

To the point where I didn't even know who the director was. I think the d. I think the DP was like, telling me what to do. Oh, my God, that is.

[B]

And so they all just didn't like each other or whatever.

[C]

I think that they were like, well.

[A]

Corey Monteith had passed away. They were all grieving. That.

[C]

That was. I think that was like two seasons, a couple seasons before the. The end.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They had just different clicks.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And certain one. And certain actors. I think from what the rumors were at the time, certain actors didn't get along with the other actors. So.

[B]

Right.

[C]

They had their little teams. So I just didn't talk to anybody.

[B]

Oh, no, you just went in, put your head down, did your job.

[C]

Although I'm friends with Chris Colfer, I love him. And he. He was delightful because he's a delightful guy.

[A]

Yeah, he seems great.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's always just so amusing. I mean, it's. It's a bummer, but it's just always so funny because everybody's so nice and welcoming. You've never been there, and then you. You find out.

[C]

You know, what it is, too, with a show like that is like, I. I randomly went to the premiere of that show because that. When I was a journalist, and you see everybody very, like, innocent and like, I'm happy to be here. It's success when something blows up. Then. Then it's like, you know, two seasons later, like, oh, my God, what happened?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Everyone needs to get in and get out one or two seasons and then. And then get out.

[B]

I think before people that when casts do not get along, and then when they're going through press like we are. It's like a family here.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's. It is like a family in that you're about to kill each.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

And there's massive issues and lot simmering underneath. It's that. Anyway, that's just always a funny surprise because now when I say something to somebody on set, I'm like, everybody seems so nice. Is it like that or is there. You know what I mean? Because it's so rare that everybody really is just all I feel like often.

[A]

If you're a guest star on something and you show up and there's one cast member who's super nice to you, hey, what's up? Often they're the troublemaker because they've alienated themselves from everyone else and they're like, yeah, yeah. Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart. Unfortunately not checking your coffee beans expiration date is not smart. If you're someone who doesn't make coffee too often, it might be a bit of a shock when you break out the beans for your houseguests.

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[B]

Well, I'm, you know, it was announced Stephanie just got booked in this big film, and so she's in London. And then we're going to kind of. I mean, I don't know that we're gonna go back and forth now that I almost said we're gonna go back and forth.

[A]

Yeah. That's 10 hours.

[B]

Yeah. We're gonna go to visit her for, like, I don't know, almost 10 days maybe. And so it's a really big deal because Stephanie's mother, her family is from England.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's been Nana's big dream to be in England with Stephanie and the boys. And so she's flying over us and so. And Max and Finn are really into drinking tea. And we start, like when they were three, we started having tea with them, in which, of course, their tea was so lukewarm, you know, and. But we would go and have tea in our front living room and talk. And so we'd sit down with them with our teacups and we'd be like, so, let's talk. And then. And so they would talk and of course it was like three year old talk. But to this day, I mean, it stuck. They love tea and they can't wait to go for high tea and.

[C]

Yes, and high tea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So anyway, the. The museums in London for kids are so good. The natural history museum is amazing and, like, great. Yeah, Yeah. I have good kid recommendations, I think.

[C]

Do you need any recommendations from me? I also am very familiar with this area.

[B]

I thought this was a country accent.

[A]

First I thought it was southern.

[B]

Yeah, I thought it was southern.

[C]

No, it's my English accent.

[B]

No, it's not.

[C]

No, it's not.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

No. Fortune. It's not an English accent.

[C]

Unfortunately not like you. I'm very excited for you.

[B]

Listen to yourself. Listen. Say again. And listen.

[C]

I'm very. Thank you. I'm very excited for tea.

[A]

Wow. This is a this. You have a lead role almost on a Netflix series. Oh, my God.

[B]

My name is Fortune, and I'm from London, England. That's what you sound like.

[C]

How are you born and raised in London? Dare you.

[B]

How dare you come on here? How dare you? Oh, Fortune Marie, coming on here and acting like you're nailing any sort of accent across the pond.

[A]

Wait, but also, Tig, you should take the boys to see Debbie, get them some haircuts.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Hello. I love Debbie. See, this is a good impression for. Pay attention. Let's hear it.

[C]

Yeah, let's hear it.

[A]

Oh, twins, is it? Oh, I haven't seen twins since 1984.

[C]

Twins, is it? I haven't seen twins since forever.

[B]

We have a neighbor, this elderly man, since Max. Well, when Max and Finn were babies and we would stroll them past his house, up until maybe they were three, he would always say, twins.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And the answer was always, yeah, yeah, twins. Twins.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And so whenever we're walking past his house and he's out, Stephanie and I always go whisper to each other, twin.

[C]

What'S the longest that you and Stephanie have gone being apart? Do you know?

[B]

Probably a month and a half.

[C]

Whoa. Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was that hard?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I feel. I think I talked about it recently. It's like. It's nice to check into a hotel and kind of take a breather, but I do. I. I miss her, and I. I look forward to seeing her, but those kind of long stretches are. Are really brutal.

[A]

Tell me about it. Sometimes you're engaged at the start of it, and then by the end, you're just by yourself. So sometimes those long stretches are. Yeah.

[C]

Is too long of a stretch.

[B]

It's even longer. And. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Well, you will. You have, like a. I know you're going to visit soon, but then will. Will there be, like, a really long stretch? You don't see her?

[B]

Yes, but luckily I'm gonna see her. We're gonna be there for her birthday. It'll be her 40th birthday, and then she wraps on our anniversary, but. But we're very happy that at least one of the celebratory days will be together.

[A]

Yeah, I know this is a dumb like. And also, I know it's not cool to say, but will you meet Angelina? Because.

[B]

Oh, yeah. The movie is starring Angelina Jolie, and.

[A]

It'S a small cast. It's like.

[B]

It is. It's a small cast. I don't know if I'll meet her. I'm very interested to, if possible, can.

[C]

You ask her to do a handsome question?

[A]

Oh, my God, that would be huge.

[B]

Planet Earth would implode if she did a podcast. She done a podcast.

[C]

I don't think she's ever a podcast gal.

[A]

I saw her at tiff. I saw her back as she left. So I. I showed up at. You know when people are tight. Oh, we're tight. Yeah. Like, her back has seen me.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But you know when they do, like, they bring puppies to photo shoots, and so People magazines.

[C]

I did not know that was a thing.

[A]

Oh, it's like. It's a thing. Yeah. So they'd set up a little studio, and they had these rescue puppies. And then all these celebrities are coming in, and. And you, one at a time, you go and do. And I'm, like, looking around. There's James McAvoy, and there I. And. And Tony knows everyone, so I'm like, I'm in heaven. And there's puppies.

[C]

Look, there's Jennifer Lopez.

[B]

Hey, look, it's me, Tony Collette. There's Jennifer Lopez.

[C]

No. Is that Jennifer Lopez?

[B]

Is that Jennifer Lopez? Okay, go on.

[A]

The Australian's getting better, but the British was so.

[C]

Well, if one gets better, the other one gets worse.

[A]

Oh, that's how it goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she. So. And Angelina's there, and then. And then me and Tony are like, we got to pee. And so.

[B]

And I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. You're saying she was at tiff?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, I'm back on track. Go on.

[A]

And so I go up to one of the, you know, assistants working there. I'm like, is there a bathroom here we could use? And they're like, that one's, I think, out of order. I'm like, I'm sure it's fun. Open the door, and there's a giant turd floating in this toilet. I'm so sorry to bring the pod.

[C]

Down, but this part was going to be about Angelina Jolie.

[B]

I thought you were going to walk in. And she's like, she was going to.

[C]

Be there half naked, changing lunch.

[B]

And Marie, we were talking about Angelina.

[C]

Jolie's back, and then it somehow went to a turd.

[A]

Well, my point is, because then I go, is there another bathroom? They go, well, there's this gross one in the back that's like, you know, off limits, but you can try that. I go back, there's a turd in that one, too, and it's clogged.

[B]

Why are you telling us? I'm tell disgusting story.

[A]

And to say turd over and over. But the point is, it was just.

[B]

No point to this story, is there? The point is that there's no point. We just have to listen to disgusting information after you saw Angelina Jolie.

[C]

Jolie show up.

[A]

The point is that we're in this small room with, like, more famous people than I've ever seen, and I'm freaking out, and there's just turd toilets everywhere and no one can pee. And it's like. Well, anyway, it wasn't a good story, but it was just funny.

[B]

It was a disgusting story. If you're into disgusting things, land this plane.

[C]

Oh, my God. Did you see Angelina Jolie's front?

[A]

No, I just saw it.

[B]

I saw turds and toilets. Fortune, were you not listening?

[C]

I heard that, but I didn't know when we got back to Angelina Jolie.

[B]

It's not getting back to Angelina. There was no reason to even mention the woman comes back. No, I have a question.

[A]

Because my point was. No, there was no point. There is a point.

[B]

No, it was disgusting.

[A]

The point is, it should be illegal to have a turdy toilet around Angelina Jolie.

[C]

Angelina Jolie.

[B]

Okay, here's my question. You both said it differently. What is the answer? Is it Jolie or Jolie?

[C]

I thought it was jolie. I've never heard jolie.

[A]

Because it's French.

[C]

I mean, look at that.

[A]

Jolie.

[B]

Thomas, what is it? Is it. How does she say it? Does she say jolie or Jolie?

[A]

I thought it's jolie because it's French. Her mom was French.

[B]

But Fortune doesn't think it is. She thinks it's just Jolie.

[C]

Jolie.

[A]

Well, that's really Jolie.

[C]

Jolie, Jolie. There's a video of her pronouncing her own name. Do you want to watch it?

[A]

We're all, what if it's really wrong? It's like jolly.

[C]

We're sitting on the edges of our seats.

[B]

What happened to my co host?

[C]

I'm sitting on the edge of my seat.

[B]

Angelina.

[A]

Hi, Jolie.

[C]

Yes, the emphasis on the Joe.

[A]

Jolie. Jolie.

[C]

Jolie. Isn't that what I said? She says jolie, so she does. What?

[A]

I got it wrong. I was saying Jolie.

[B]

Wait, what is it? I'm conf. I'm still confused.

[C]

I still hear Jolie.

[A]

You're the closest. Fortune.

[C]

Play it one more time. Let's hear it again. Everyone shut up.

[B]

Angelina, hi, Jolie.

[C]

Yes, the emphasis on the Joe.

[A]

Jolie. Joey. Jolie.

[C]

Yes, Tig's right.

[A]

Joe Jolie.

[C]

The interviewer said Joe. Emphasis on The Joe. And she says Joe.

[B]

Exactly. This is what I'm saying, is everybody says it differently. And now here, I might be meeting her within a few days.

[A]

And you'll definitely go full name, too.

[C]

You're gonna go in Jolie, and she'll be impressed.

[B]

Emphasis on the show.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Joey. Well, this is a real mind effort. I didn't. I didn't anticipate that. I've said it wrong, and I hate to.

[B]

I hate to dig in even deeper, but you were saying Abby's last name wrong, too.

[C]

I did.

[B]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[C]

It's not Wombach.

[B]

It is not. It's Wombach.

[A]

Wombach.

[B]

Look at Fortune's face. Listen.

[A]

Fortune looks offended.

[C]

Wombach.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Don't say it like that.

[C]

Wombach. Yeah, I think everyone.

[B]

I.

[C]

Here's what I think. Hear me out. There's certain.

[B]

This better not be a turd toilet.

[C]

No, no. Okay. There's certain people whose names have just in the zeitgeist have become one thing. Okay? And most people call that person that thing. I think that person then has a duty to relinquish what the original. I think they have to give up.

[B]

And to be fair, you did just say duty. You said this was not a turd talk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you did say everyone has a duty.

[C]

You slipped a dude D, I, E. This is to. I think you have to just give into it and go, this is how my name is pronounced now.

[A]

I mean, I do. I hate.

[B]

All right, Feinster.

[C]

No, I know.

[B]

Everyone calls you. There's a handful. No. Feimster. Go on. Me?

[A]

Yes, look.

[C]

Jolie. Happy Wombach.

[B]

Thomas, can you pull up a video of somebody saying her name? Okay, go on.

[C]

Everybody goes, Abby Wambach.

[A]

My instinct is, like, obviously we owe everyone the respect of learning their names properly. But then I think about old Timothy Chalamet, and I think, can he just. Can we say Timothy Chalamet? Like, he maybe needs to just relinquish control.

[B]

Fortune, is your head blowing up now?

[C]

Wait, what? Is his name not pronounced Timothy?

[A]

No, it's Timothy.

[C]

Yeah. No one wants that.

[A]

Well, no one wants maybe, but it's. There's other cultures in the world.

[C]

Like.

[A]

No, it's a French name.

[B]

No, sorry.

[C]

You have to go with what the culture wants. They don't want your name pronounced that way.

[A]

With what American culture wants.

[C]

Specifically Raven Simone. We've known that She's. She's now correct everyone and says it's actually Simone. I'm like, well, I'll never not think of you as Raven Simone.

[B]

Oh, my God, that's classic her, is it not? You know I'm kidding. I don't.

[A]

You don't know who that is?

[B]

Wait, did I tell you I'm on her. I told you I'm on her text thread.

[A]

Are you?

[C]

Wait, what?

[B]

This is the weirdest thing in my life. I am on a group text thread with Raven Simone, and it's. It only happens in the holidays, and there's not a number that I recognize. I don't know how I ended up on her holiday thread. I don't know if she knows I'm on it. That's bizarre. It is the funniest thing. I'll turn to Stephanie. I'll be like, look.

[C]

And it's like a yearly tradition. I've heard from Raven.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And Raven just is, like, wishing people a happy holiday.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. And everybody's chiming in like, I'm part of the friend group or family.

[C]

Maybe you're on a lesbian text thread that you don't know about.

[B]

I. I know I am. I'm telling you.

[C]

But maybe it's all a bunch of lesbians on there.

[A]

Then Tig would recognize some of the numbers, you know?

[B]

Okay. Thomas, did you find.

[C]

I'm gonna eat a brownie.

[B]

Here we go. Settle in.

[A]

This is Abby Wambach, number 20, with the U. S. Women's national team. Wombach. It's sort of a soft ak. Wombach.

[C]

Wombach. That'd be. Wombach.

[B]

So are you saying that Raven Simone previously. Thomas, this last time, I'm gonna do it. Will you pull up a video of her saying her name? Like, has she said it previously?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Or she's just now.

[C]

Currently, she's saying. Everyone's been saying it wrong for years.

[B]

Right, but has she been saying it wrong?

[C]

No, I. Oh, I don't know if. Back in the day. I would imagine. Back in the day. She even said it how it was supposed to be said.

[A]

You know, we really. We get into the important. The important stuff. Yeah.

[C]

About the most nonsense.

[B]

If you want to know what's going on in the world, you got to know if you want hot button issues.

[C]

If you want to know, I'm using a bounty.

[B]

Why are you having a brownie?

[C]

I just got really hungry.

[B]

I know, dear, but we're in the middle of a pirate.

[C]

I got really hungry.

[A]

Look how cute she is.

[B]

Hungry.

[C]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Podcast is supported by FX's English teacher. Last year's critically acclaimed series returns to follow Evan, Gwen and Markie as they vie for their students divided attention. Cy Cosmopolitan called its premiere season a masterclass of comedy, while glamour raved it's the year's funniest and most heartwarming new comedy series.

[B]

FX's English Teacher returned September 25th on FX, all episodes streaming on Hulu.

[C]

And I need to eat something. Yes, you do.

[B]

You need your afternoon snack time. Thomas, any luck on Simone?

[A]

It's easier for people to just call me Raven Simone, but if you want.

[C]

To call me by my government name, all right.

[A]

It's Raven Simone.

[B]

Okay. Well, it's good to get all this cleared up and it's, it's good to know that it's Jolie.

[C]

Jolie.

[B]

And Simone Wombach.

[C]

And Wombach Simone.

[A]

And my Martine.

[C]

My Martini.

[A]

Should we get to our question?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, bud.

[A]

Today's question. Oscar is an Emmy winning and Tony nominated actor who first became known for her role in the Goonies. She starred in Raising Hope in the Real o' Neills and stars in the new HBO series about an FBI team task. Martha Plimpton is asking today's question. Nice.

[D]

Hi, I'm Martha Plimpton and here is my question for you all. My question is now, regardless of whether or not you believe in astrology, how are you most like your astrological sign? And how are you least like your astrological sign?

[C]

I think those are.

[D]

That's a good, you know, getting a good juxtaposition there.

[A]

Okay, great.

[C]

Have you all Seen that new show, Task?

[A]

No. I can't wait, though, because I love Martha Plimpton.

[C]

I know. It's pretty good. It's from the guy who created Mayor of Easttown. Did you watch that show?

[A]

Yeah, I loved that show.

[C]

Mary of East Town is so good. You ever watch it, Tig?

[B]

No.

[C]

Tig, I think you. I think it. That would be a series worth you going and watching.

[A]

I think you'd have a crush on Kate Winslet in that series.

[C]

So good.

[B]

Really?

[A]

She is so good. Badass.

[C]

It's one of the best modern day TV series. It's a limited series.

[B]

You know my name, my kids call me is Mayor.

[A]

It is Mary, Mayor of Easttown. Yeah.

[C]

So I think you should watch it. All right. But that guy that created that one and created this, so it still has that. Is it Philly? Is that the area?

[A]

The water?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

[B]

Why just in that pocket of the country. Do they say water?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Water for water.

[B]

Yeah, water.

[A]

They're saying water.

[C]

It's like, correct?

[B]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Oh, boy. This episode is really about phonetics and vowel sounds.

[B]

I would say it's. Did you say bowel or vowel? Because also bowel sounds.

[C]

The Goonies is also one of the best movies of all time.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

So she just does good work and.

[A]

She just seems like. Like someone I really get along with. Like, she just sort of doesn't give a. And speaks her mind and is.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And she dated River Phoenix back in the day.

[A]

I know. And they were in a movie together that I loved.

[B]

What movie?

[A]

Mosquito Coast. What. What star signs are you guys?

[B]

I'm Aries.

[C]

I'm a Cancer.

[A]

Wow. Okay.

[C]

What are you?

[A]

Taurus.

[C]

I don't know anything about Taurus, and I don't know anything about Aries.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So why don't we each tell each other what our signs are about? And we might have to also tell T what her sign's about.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But you know what yours is for? Like, you know what it means.

[C]

I'm a Cancer through and through.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Cancers are. They're emotional, sensitive.

[C]

Yeah. We have a hard shell, like a crab. That's our animal is a crab.

[B]

So we have a heart out, but.

[C]

We'Re soft on the inside. And if you. If you do us dirty, we retreat. But if you make us mad, we snap you. Someone just rang my doorbell. Cancers can be moody. I would say that is where I'm not exactly. Like, I get. My moody is more. I get quiet.

[A]

Right.

[C]

But I'm not Like a moody person.

[A]

Yeah. You don't strike me as, like, no big swings of mood. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. So I differ there. But you. I like security. Home life is important. Being at home, we like to, like, get centered.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, Thomas just sent us a thing about zodiac signs and personality traits. This says cancers are emotionally intelligent. I would say that I'm an empath. I pick up on energy very strongly, to the point where, like, I can go in a room, and if the energy is bad or off, I'll leave the room.

[A]

Some people call that a trauma response.

[C]

So deeply, it says we're nurturing, caring, and resilient. I would say those are true negative attributes. This says that we're clingy, moody, irritable, and hypersensitive. I am. I can be sensitive. Yes.

[B]

Hyper sensitive.

[C]

Hyper sensitive? I don't think so. I don't. But sensitive I can be. But I'm not like, a. I'm not like, you have to handle me with kid gloves type of sensitive.

[A]

Irritable.

[C]

Irritable. I'm not irritable.

[B]

Bowels.

[C]

That. Yes.

[A]

Sensitive bowels.

[C]

Clingy. I don't know. I can definitely get needy. But I'm not, like, a clingy person. I. I'm good at reading the room. If someone does not want to hang or want to be my friend or be. I'm just like, all right, peace out.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I would say, for the most part, I am pretty dead on cancer.

[A]

It's so funny that you're like, our animal is a crab. Like, humans are so embarrassing that we're like, my animal's a crab, and mine's a bull. And mine's a ratley.

[C]

Little teams, who wants to go next?

[A]

I'll go. Okay. So I think about Taurus as, like, well, because I was really premature. I was supposed to be a Gemini, and I have some Gemini in my chart, but I feel like I'm stubborn, sensitive, loyal. Well, am I loyal? I can be. And when I'm in, I'm in is.

[B]

Not a good sign.

[C]

You don't convince me about loyalty.

[A]

I am a very loyal friend.

[C]

And, like.

[A]

And when I fall, I fall hard. I'm romantic, but I like my. My home. And to, like.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you think you're a crab. Now I'm sounding very crab like. But what.

[C]

Yeah, but you're definitely not a cancer. So I wonder what sets you apart. Cancer marked.

[A]

I got really into Mayan astrology for a while, and I would love to.

[C]

Yeah, see, that's where we differ. This witchy stuff.

[A]

Yeah, you're not.

[C]

That's not me. That's not a cancer.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

You're like. What's the word? Not, like, fanciful, you know? Is that a Taurus thing or a May thing?

[A]

Oh, like whimsical.

[C]

Whimsical, that's the word.

[A]

Is that Taurus? Yeah, maybe.

[C]

It says that the Taurus star sign is ruled by the persistent and determined bull. And when it comes to your energy, the typical Taurus has two speeds. They're either relaxed and contented or hyped up and ready to charge.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Would you agree with that? Any of that?

[A]

Yeah, I think so. That. That checks out.

[C]

That Taurus people will patiently assess whether something is worth the investment of time and resources. Then if the green light flashes, it's all system go. Until then, slow and steady wins the Taurus race.

[A]

Yeah, I think I. I think. Yeah. I'm trying to find this.

[C]

This thing. It says what? They hate being rushed.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I hate being rushed.

[C]

Wasting money and you waste plenty of money. Oh, my God. Synthesizer.

[A]

Well, I like the. I. I'm. I do like things and objects in my space, you know?

[C]

Oh, it says y' all have deep and soulful eyes. Long and elegant and elegant necks. And a delicate room, too.

[A]

What?

[C]

Reading this thing?

[A]

It says I have a long and elegant neck.

[C]

Just all Tauruses, apparently.

[B]

Wow. It says that.

[C]

You know, like dirty things, hotels and mornings. How do you feel?

[A]

I hate mornings.

[C]

Okay, so we've got some things here. It's favorite things. Photography. You're in.

[A]

Hey.

[C]

The mountains. You're into that. Hey, what great music.

[B]

Taurus is like, great music.

[C]

Everyone else.

[A]

Beads. No way. Well, I'm into linen now, but I, for years was Jersey cotton all the way, but. Wow. But a lot of that does check out. Yeah.

[B]

This is so oddly specific.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. What am I? I'm Aries.

[A]

Aries.

[B]

And I'll tell you one thing I know about myself because Stephanie always makes fun of me about this. She calls it, quote, unquote, yeah, this can wait. Which means that my personality, when I get an idea, I move forward. Like, we'll casually talk about something where I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm thinking about, you know, doing this documentary about Andrea Gibson. And then at the end of the day when she comes home, I'm like, oh, by the way, I reached out to investors, and she'll go, yeah, this can wait. And so it's kind of her sarcastic, which we read somewhere about Aries is that they move. They move quickly, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. All the Air signs are, like, forward moving.

[C]

Here's what it says that the thing Thomas said, you're brave, willful, productive, enterprising, humanitarian, and assertive. Yeah, that's pretty spot on, right?

[A]

That checks out. Yeah.

[C]

Negative attributes. Moody, impulsive, impatient, rude.

[B]

Okay, let me go through those one by one. What was the first one?

[C]

Moody?

[B]

Yeah, I'm not. I am not a moody person unless I'm completely in denial. I don't feel like I'm not somebody that. Where I'm like, don't talk to me till I've had my coffee. Or I'm. I just feel like I'm pretty. Pretty much like this, you know? And then. What's the next one?

[C]

Impulsive. Are you. Listen. Just, like, trying to get things done.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

It would be impulsive to someone who hasn't been in your head and you've gone through the whole thinking process. So you're like, okay, I'm doing this now. But to someone else, they might be like, what? Where'd that come from?

[B]

Yeah, I think I could have seen myself as more impulsive as a kid, but I feel like that's also maybe a trait of a kid, but. Yeah, I think things through. I feel like I'm kind of measured in ways, so I guess I don't fully.

[A]

Sabrina Julies is an Aries friend of the pod, and she's very sort of. Yeah. Especially with her family. It's like, this is my family, and we're making decisions and we're gonna build this life and very like. And makes things happen and, like, pulls the trigger on decisions like that.

[B]

And what is. What is my next one?

[C]

Impatient or rude?

[B]

I don't think I'm impatient. I certainly get challenged in moments. I don't know. I'm very curious, I think, because I've known Thomas so long. Would you say I seem impatient? Thomas? And I know hard feelings. If.

[A]

Yes, safe space.

[C]

Impatience. Not that negative, though.

[A]

No, that's.

[C]

No.

[B]

But either way, I just don't see myself as impatient. But if so, I'm just curious to hear.

[C]

When I'm driving on the highway, you.

[A]

Do tell me to drive faster sometimes. Okay.

[C]

But, like, overall, I'd say you're not.

[A]

Someone who's so eager to, like, you know, move on to the next thing.

[C]

Or rush through things.

[B]

So I don't know. It's interesting. And then rude. I don't think I'm rude. I know that I have a certain delivery that people sometimes don't get.

[A]

A dryness.

[B]

Yeah, a dryness where people are like, God, I can't believe she said that to that person. And it's like, oh, I was kidding. But if it didn't land, then it's not funny. But. But yeah. And I, I think at times, you know, like anybody who is in the public eye, like, say you're sitting and having dinner with your family or something and somebody's like coming up and talking to you when you're with your family. Or sometimes I'm a little like, not right now.

[A]

You know, I would say it's, it's not even, it's not, it's. It's more like you don't have the people pleasing quality. Like you're not gonna sort of fill every silence and like, like I. You're like, yeah, you'd like right now. Yeah.

[B]

But I think also when I'm with my family, I don't like my kids seeing me in a particular light.

[A]

Right. Like a fame or.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like I just, I don't, I don't like. Yeah, that makes sense for them to see any of that. Of course they see elements of that, but it's not my favorite. So I try and kind of quickly get out of that so that we can just kind of just do our family thing.

[A]

Can I really quickly look up your Mayan astrological? Because each one comes with a poem. You get your little sign and then.

[C]

You go on your poem. Yeah, look it up. It also says you're open and honest. I would agree with that.

[A]

I'd agree with that. Yeah. So what's the day, month and year of your birth, Tig?

[B]

March 24, 1971.

[C]

So Tig's a fire sign, I'm a water sign. And what's Taurus earth sign?

[B]

Wow.

[C]

I would say those are all pretty accurate.

[B]

Does it say though, Fortune, what bed sheets I like or anything like that?

[C]

Oh, let me see. That's a good question.

[A]

Oh my.

[C]

Wait, Tig.

[A]

This is really good. Oh, you are a white spectral dog. And you're. Yes. And you're in the earth family of Polar. And this is your poem. Okay, so you're a white spectral dog. It's just be open minded and see if this poem resonates with you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I dissolve in order to love, releasing loyalty. I seal the process of heart with the spectral tone of liberation. I'm guided by my own power doubled. I'm Tig. I'm also guided by my own power doubled.

[B]

Oh, look at that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, two and one.

[A]

Fortune, what's your birthday again?

[C]

July 1st, 1980. July is while you're looking that up. I'm gonna tell Tig. What this. The. The one that said your favorite sheets does not have that on Tigs. But your favorite things. Competitive games, New clothes. Road trips in fast red cars.

[A]

Wait a second.

[B]

Wait. What was the last thing?

[C]

Debating expressing themselves through stunning verbal and physical feats. What you hate. Sharing their toys. Being ignored. Cramped spaces. Losing. And the word no.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

I gotta. I have to look up mine.

[B]

You. Yeah. Let's hear about your bed sheets.

[A]

You love fast red cars.

[B]

Oh, you know I do. I don't even care about cars.

[A]

You literally never share your GI Joe with me.

[C]

May. Did you find that one thing?

[A]

Oh, yeah. So, okay, Fortune, this is you. Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

You're a yellow spectral seed. I dissolve in order to target, releasing awareness. I seal the input of flowering with a spectral tone of liberation. I'm guided by my own power doubled. So your yellow spectral seed and. Well, we don't know. Great.

[B]

It's a poem. You're not supposed to really understand. You're just supposed to go, oh, okay.

[A]

I'll send it to you. And then you mull it over, see if it speaks to you.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm a red magnetic moon. And I really liked that. And so I basically latched onto it.

[B]

I can't believe how much I related to what was said about me until the specifics came up of, like, race cars. And.

[C]

This is this one site that thinks. May love satin sheets.

[A]

I. But I sort of. I get the energy of satin sheets.

[C]

You know, I'm trying to look up cancer. I want to know the specifics.

[B]

Yeah, we want to know what bed sheets you like.

[C]

Why is it not. Oh, here it is.

[B]

You like, 10 count, right?

[C]

Yes. It says my favorite things are gourmet meals that do love that. Intramural sports do love that. Hosting parties. I'd rather go to someone else's party. Working with kids. I like kids, but it's not like that's my thing. Yeah, museums and art galleries, I like them, but again, not like the thing I'm looking for. What? They hate tacky clothes. Could care less about that. Frozen dinners. Public speaking. Obviously, that's not true. Being rushed and paying full price.

[B]

What?

[A]

You did bring a gift card to a restaurant, didn't you?

[C]

Famously, I did, but I spend money all the time.

[A]

Yeah, this is not resonating.

[C]

No, this is not.

[A]

Yeah, public speaking.

[C]

Where you'll find them. Shopping for antiques and rare finds.

[B]

Oh, Fortune's probably running late from the antique shop. We'll have to postpone, Handsome.

[A]

But. So when you, like, through your life, have you. Are you someone who, like, read the horoscope in the newspaper and, like, you know, ascribe meaning to it? Like, well, it takes. Clearly not.

[C]

But, yeah, sometimes. Every. Every now and then again, I'll be like, that's a sign.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, when I was little, I always would read the. The cartoons, the funnies in the newspaper, and I would also read my horoscope, but just kind of out of curiosity, but I wasn't like, oh, my gosh, unbelievable news this morning. My moon is rising or whatever.

[A]

It just seems like online, all the astrology accounts I follow, of which there are many, it seems like there's always something massive happening astrologically. Like, every day, it's like, guys, today is it portal day, because we are never going to have this blood. This blood moon again. And it's like, it's always something.

[C]

And I feel like Mercury's constantly in retrograde.

[A]

Constantly.

[C]

That means I hear you, girl. It's in retrograde again. Wasn't it just.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I do feel. As much as. I don't necessarily connect to all that, I do feel curious, and I love hearing about it. And when people are really knowledgeable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love hearing what they have to say.

[A]

You know, people like hearing about themselves, too. Right? Like, people are like, oh, you're like this. You're like, yeah.

[C]

Am I?

[B]

But it's also. It's fun to hear about you and fortune. Like, it's. All of it is so fun to kind of laugh and talk about. It's just connecting.

[A]

And I have noticed that, like, most of the people I've been in love with in my life have been born between, like, mid August and the end of November. That's like, the window.

[C]

Yeah, I do. I do, like, in my dating days, would always look up whoever it was I was going out with or, like, what their sign was. I was always. And I would look up compatibility and stuff like that. I do find that stuff very interesting.

[B]

Yeah, it is. It's fun.

[A]

There's an app called Costar that I'll add you guys on. It gives you a daily update on your friendship with that person. Like, today, you and Tig are struggling with communication, but, you know, hang in there. And it's usually very accurate.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Interesting.

[B]

I. I've probably mentioned this already, but when Stephanie and I. She's very into that. And when we first got together, she brought over a book that tells you. I guess.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like the birthday book or something. And it tells you all your compatibility and. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And so she was reading that to me, and. And when she finished reading it, I was asleep.

[A]

No way.

[C]

Are you serious?

[B]

Yeah. And she was like. And the person does this and that and blah, blah, blah. And then she looks over and she's like, oh, my God.

[C]

You were like. And you were like, honk, shoe, honk, shoe, honk, shoe.

[B]

So. But I think it's fun. Like when. When. When we had this question from Martha, it was like, let's do that. That sounds really interesting and fun.

[C]

Should we hear Martha's answer?

[B]

Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.

[A]

Wait, can I. I don't know. I don't know Martha's birthday or anything. Can I. Should we guess her son? Okay, I'm gonna guess that Martha is a. A Capricorn.

[B]

Pisces.

[C]

Martha. Martha. Seems like a fire sign to me.

[A]

Okay. Is that like, Capricorn, you think?

[C]

I have no idea.

[A]

Scorpio, maybe.

[C]

Well, she could be a Scorpio.

[B]

Thought of a sign that I've heard of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The first that came to my mind.

[C]

Or a Leo.

[B]

Nah, she's Pisces.

[A]

We've said most of the signs.

[C]

Leo. I say. I'm gonna say Leo or Scorpio.

[B]

It's a Pisces.

[A]

I'm gonna go Capricorn just to be different.

[C]

Okay, let's hear it.

[A]

No, she's not a Capricorn. No, come on.

[B]

She's a Pisces.

[C]

And Pisces. I'm giving myself two options.

[A]

I'm going Libra.

[C]

Okay. Oh, yeah, that's a good guess.

[B]

No, it's not, because she's a Pisces. What is it, Thomas?

[A]

I'll play the clip.

[D]

I think for me, I'm a Scorpio. And she's lying. This means I. I automatically have a reputation among people for being aggressive and crazy, maybe a little bit demonic, maybe a little bit toxic, and also sexually voracious and, you know, like. Like, I will rip a man's head off after I have sex with him. Or something like that. Wow. So we can. I will say that I am least like the perception of my astrological sign in that I will not rip a man's head off after having sex with him. I will likely just express an A level of boredom.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

At least that's been my experience.

[C]

Hilarious.

[D]

And just, you know, say, you know what?

[A]

You know what?

[D]

Let's not. Let's just not. How about that? Let's just not.

[A]

That's pretty. Scorpio.

[D]

How I'm most like my astrological sign is that I am extremely. I'M extremely. Loyalty means a lot to me. And dishonesty or disloyalty is really. I don't like it at all. And I will stick with a thing. I will, you know, a thing or a person or I will stick to with it and, you know, no matter how rough or tough it gets. But then, like, once. Once I've learned my lesson, then forget it. It's decisions made. It's over. They're out of my life. I have no desire or need to ever speak with them again. Doesn't matter how close we were. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. If they're. If they have in any way betrayed me, they're out. So I don't know how funny or amusing this is. I may have just revealed way more about myself than I've ever intended to with this question.

[A]

But.

[D]

Yeah. Anyway, I'm hoping you guys can lighten this subject up a little bit, because I'm feeling like I really brought it down.

[C]

I thought it was interesting.

[A]

Obsessed with imagined sleep and to someone and afterwards they go, can we not. Can we just not?

[C]

That's funny.

[A]

That was great.

[B]

Yeah. That was one of the most thorough responses, not just on this podcast, but I think ever, that anyone has ever given.

[C]

Scorpios are famously known for being voracious in the bedroom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How do you know this?

[C]

I've. I've looked at people's astrology over the years.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And they are famously.

[B]

And that's what you are looking for.

[C]

No, I'm not looking for anything in from any sign. I just see different traits of different signs, and I do know that's one of their traits.

[B]

No, you're looking for a sign. I dated somebody that blamed everything on me being an Aries.

[A]

Oh, my God. That would drive me insane.

[B]

And it was such an unfair argument. And I used to say. So you're saying that if I was just born one day sooner, it all would be your fault. Well, this was really fun. This was truly fun. Because at first I was like, huh, Talk about our signs I don't know much about. So it was nice to read through and learn more about you both. And also be like, that's not you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And learn about your love of fast red cars.

[A]

I'm ordering satin sheets.

[B]

Although it isn't true about me. Thomas is did say that. I'm like, hey, Thomas, can you go a little faster? But to be fair, you are a slow driver, Thomas.

[A]

Wait till we all get inside his head and we're controlling his body and then we're gonna drive as fast as we want.

[B]

And I've. I've spent many hours in a car with Thomas and he's a great person to be on a road trip with. I do love a road trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Well, always a pledge. What do you guys have coming up?

[B]

I have a show on October 11th, Salt Lake City, Utah, the Equality Utah Allies Gala. And then October 17th, I'll be at Largo right here in Los Angeles working on some new material. And also at this point, the morning show is out on Apple. And Yeah, go to tignotaro.com for the rest of my tour dates.

[C]

Yeah, I'm on tour too. October 11th in Boston. The 18th in Atlanta. November is Chicago, San Jose and Fresno, California. Then I got Charlotte, North Carolina, and then St. Petersburg, Florida, and Orlando. And then I rescheduled some dates that are happening at the beginning of the year, so those are on my website.

[A]

When this episode airs. My show Wayward is out on Netflix, so stream that, please. October 17th, I'm at the Lyric Theater in LA and and I still got my animal book for sale for Doctors Without Borders. If you go to my Instagram, you can click it and I just got more in stock. My animal paintings. There's a hat and a tote bag and some postcards.

[B]

So get on that and share an episode. If you like this episode, share it with a friend, family member, build the handsome community and subscribe, rate, review. And also we have a YouTube page that you can also subscribe to. And until next time, I say keep it handsome.

[A]

Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media at Handsomepod.

[C]

What a podcast.

[A]

That was a hitgum podcast.

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