Transcript

May Martin (0:02)

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Sponsor/Announcer (0:20)

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Sponsor/Announcer (1:23)

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May Martin (1:55)

Cheers.

Tig Notaro (1:56)

Hey, what's your friend, Tigna? Oh, you go, girl. You go girl.

Fortune Feemster (2:00)

You go.

Tig Notaro (2:01)

It's Tig Notaro on the Handsome pod. I'm sitting here with my co host.

May Martin (2:05)

I'll go. May Martin.

Fortune Feemster (2:08)

And I'm Fortune Feemster.

Tig Notaro (2:12)

How is it going?

Fortune Feemster (2:14)

Summary

Handsome (Headgum) – Episode Summary (January 27, 2026)

Episode Theme: “Megan Falley asks about unwanted questions”

This episode features comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin reflecting on unwanted and difficult-to-answer questions—prompted by a listener query from poet Megan Falley. Along the way, the trio swaps stories from awards season, personal moments, and signature riffs about everything from awkward social encounters to bodily functions. The conversation moves nimbly from lighthearted banter to genuinely thoughtful insights about grief, connection, and better ways to communicate in tough times.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrity After-Parties and Award Show Season (02:00–07:00)

Mae and Fortune recount their experience at the Golden Globes, including hilarious late-night antics, run-ins with celebrities (Brecken Meyer, Alison Brie, G Flip, Paris Hilton, JLO), and observations on the surreal nature of Hollywood events against the backdrop of world news.
Mae shares feeling “worn out” by the party, noting, “I think I was maybe the last person there… we came back and listened to really obscure Canadian 2000s pop. It was a great night.” (03:18)
The hosts discuss the constant turbulence of politics and the need for local action, highlighting the State and Local Election Alliance as a practical way to feel less helpless.

2. Technology Boundaries and “Apple Watch Chaos” (07:55–09:44)

Tig details her attempts to go “off-grid” (sort of) by leaving her phone behind and only receiving emails on Thursdays, sparking bemused disbelief from her co-hosts.
- “I told my assistant, my manager…if it’s not urgent, send it to me on Thursday morning…now I have an Apple Watch and no one can contact me. So I’m even more out of touch.” (08:56)
The conversation turns to managing online and text boundaries, and the shock that reshaping your digital habits is even possible.
- Mae: “It’s so bold to say I’m only receiving emails on Thursday. It didn’t even occur to me you could do that.” (09:45)

3. Kerry Russell Encounters & Tig’s Crush (09:53–12:50)

Fortune and Tig recount their mutual “sightings” of Tig's well-known crush, Keri Russell, at an event. Tig shares delight over an actual interaction:
- “I see who I’ve never seen in the flesh, Kerry Russell, waving her hands, mouthing ‘I love you’…she said, ‘but I loved you before that.’” (12:33)
Fortune: “We didn’t take a picture because I didn’t want to do that to Tig…back off, Peanut.” (13:06)
The ongoing riff about Handsome podcast merchandise, including “Peanut” shirts, adds levity.

4. Celebrity Name Flubs & Party Antics (13:28–17:37)

Mae tells a convoluted but funny story about misnaming celebrities at a party, invoking “Megan Lazarus” and “Felista Clockhart” as comic examples.
There’s also concern for an inebriated party-goer whom Mae gently shepherds to safety—a moment of kindness amidst the chaos.
- “I took [the drink] out of her hand, I poured it down the sink and filled the glass with water. You gotta drink that…They don’t want you here, you gotta go home.” (17:20-17:29)

5. Throw-Up Tales & “Life’s Messes” (20:41–27:12)

The trio launches into a series of vomit stories, from Tig’s projectile cat (21:00), to Fortune’s near-disaster in front of Arnold Schwarzenegger (22:06), and Mae’s adolescent retaliation after being sent to a theater rehearsal while sick (24:27).
Memorable quote (Tig): “If you're ever sick, you're throwing up, it's shooting out other areas—let it go. Your body knows what it's doing.” (23:44)
There’s reflection on the sometimes comic contrasts between external success and internal vulnerability.

6. Emotional Vulnerability: Mae's Junos Photo Shoot Breakdown (27:39–30:48)

Mae recounts breaking down in tears during a key art photo shoot for hosting the Juno Awards:
- “I hate what I look like. The pants were too tight…Then the photographer comes over, makes it worse. I just—I start crying and then everyone acts like I am a mental patient.” (28:41-29:12)
The group gently teases and supports Mae, highlighting the complexity of image, gender, and sensitivity in the public eye.

7. Tour Life, King Cake, and License Plate Anecdotes (31:55–41:41)

Fortune describes her experience performing in New Orleans during Mardi Gras season, her first taste of King Cake, and the strange joy of potentially finding the plastic baby.
The group riffs on custom license plates, especially Mae’s coincidence-laden “full sentence” plate and the best one Fortune ever saw: “FART GAS.”
Lighthearted, signature digressions about snacks, childhood factory tours, and star meters ensue.
- Tig: “Can you get your license plate to say star meter 108?” (39:15)

Main Theme Segment: “What Question Do You Absolutely Not Want to Be Asked?”

(Listener Question from Megan Falley, 42:18–57:15)

Listener Question (Megan Falley, 42:21)

“What question do you absolutely not want to be asked? … Why don’t you want to be asked it, and maybe some alternative questions that somebody could ask you instead?”

Hosts’ Reflections

Tig Notaro
- Tired of: “How’d you get into comedy?” and “Who are your influences?”
  - "It's just been run into the ground and I'm like, I don't know if I can answer this again in my life." (44:54)
Mae Martin
- Finds “How are you?” especially challenging, particularly in hard times or post-crisis.
  - "It's so open-ended. I always feel like I should be great, but I'm not, ever really…maybe an alternative would be, 'what's the best thing that happened to you this week?'" (45:32–46:10)
- Suggests specific prompts can invite richer answers and genuine connection ("what's the best thing that happened?").
Fortune Feimster
- Dislikes: “What do you do for a living?” especially from strangers, because it triggers instant pressure to be funny or interesting.
  - "Then they're like sizing you up, like you should be funny just by existing…" (48:54)
- Also, “Tell me a joke!” and “What have I seen you in?” can be off-putting.

Notable Discussion:

Fortune cites a Finnish practice of asking children “what was your favorite moment of the day?” to encourage emotional regulation and richer conversations (46:40–47:31).
Mae observes how routine questions can miss the complexities behind someone’s current state—sometimes it’s more supportive to just acknowledge you’re thinking of someone (“I’m thinking about you, wondering what you need”). (58:42)

Megan Falley’s Answer & Deep Reflection on Grief (56:04–57:29)

“The question that I don’t want to be asked feels innocuous enough, but as somebody who has recently lost her spouse, it is a question that I find impossible to answer…The question is simple and it’s just, ‘How are you?’…That question right now feels like a thimble at the mouth of the river.” (56:04–56:27)

Meg advocates for more nuanced or open-ended alternatives—inviting the grieving person to tell a story or share an image that “grazes the magnitude” of what they’re experiencing.
The hosts express gratitude and awe for Meg’s vulnerability and wisdom.
- Tig: “It kind of goes back to that idea…just switch it up and say, what was your favorite moment of the day?...Just sitting and being with them, just showing up…is so valuable.” (57:41–60:54)
- Mae: “That image of a thimble at the mouth of a river is so good, because it’s like, where do we start?” (58:08)

Memorable Quotes

“There's always something terrible happening in the world, and there always has been...Hell is always going on.” — Tig Notaro (07:06)
“If you’re ever sick, you’re throwing up, it's shooting out other areas—let it go. Your body knows what it’s doing.” — Tig Notaro (23:44)
“That question [‘how are you?’] right now feels like a thimble at the mouth of the river.” — Megan Falley (56:25)
“Can you get your license plate to say star meter 108?” — Tig Notaro (39:15)

Important Timestamps

02:00 — Hosts begin awards show/Golden Globes stories
07:55 — Tig describes her anti-phone strategy, limiting email (Apple Watch woes)
09:53 — Fortune’s Keri Russell sighting and Tig’s red carpet crush story
13:28 — Mae’s bathroom party misadventures and “Megan Lazarus” joke
20:41 — May helps sick party guest; hosts segue into vomit stories
27:39 — Mae on breakdown during Juno Awards photo shoot
31:55 — Fortune tries King Cake in New Orleans; King Cake lore
39:15 — License plate anecdotes, “star meter 108”
42:18 — Megan Falley’s question about unwanted questions
44:54–46:10 — Hosts reveal their least favorite questions and propose alternatives
56:04 — Megan Falley’s voice message on grief and the impossibility of “how are you?”
58:08 — Hosts reflect on supporting others, value of presence, non-verbal support

Tone

Playful, irreverent, and honest, with trademark banter and comedic asides. The conversation shifts gracefully to moments of genuine vulnerability and thoughtful reflection, mirroring the real complexity of life’s conversations and challenges. The episode is peppered with punchlines, callbacks, and gentle self-deprecation, staying grounded even in its most absurd moments.

Summary Takeaway

This episode expertly balances the comedic chaos of backstage stories and “life’s messes” with the raw reality of grief and connection. The hosts remind us that behind every glib “how are you?” is a complex river of experience. Listeners are encouraged to rethink the way we interact—offering presence, support, and more meaningful questions in place of social autopilot. Amidst all the irreverence, it’s a touching reminder of how humor, compassion, and a willingness to “switch it up” can make all the difference.

Selected Notable Quotes with Timestamps

“It’s so bold to say I’m only receiving emails on Thursday. It didn’t even occur to me you could do that.” — Mae Martin (09:45)
“That question [‘how are you?’] right now feels like a thimble at the mouth of the river.” — Megan Falley (56:25)
“Can you get your license plate to say star meter 108?” — Tig Notaro (39:15)
“If you’re ever sick, you’re throwing up, it's shooting out other areas—let it go. Your body knows what it’s doing.” — Tig Notaro (23:44)