Megan Falley asks about unwanted questions

Summary

Handsome (Headgum) – Episode Summary (January 27, 2026)

Episode Theme: “Megan Falley asks about unwanted questions”

This episode features comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin reflecting on unwanted and difficult-to-answer questions—prompted by a listener query from poet Megan Falley. Along the way, the trio swaps stories from awards season, personal moments, and signature riffs about everything from awkward social encounters to bodily functions. The conversation moves nimbly from lighthearted banter to genuinely thoughtful insights about grief, connection, and better ways to communicate in tough times.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrity After-Parties and Award Show Season (02:00–07:00)

• Mae and Fortune recount their experience at the Golden Globes, including hilarious late-night antics, run-ins with celebrities (Brecken Meyer, Alison Brie, G Flip, Paris Hilton, JLO), and observations on the surreal nature of Hollywood events against the backdrop of world news.
• Mae shares feeling “worn out” by the party, noting, “I think I was maybe the last person there… we came back and listened to really obscure Canadian 2000s pop. It was a great night.” (03:18)
• The hosts discuss the constant turbulence of politics and the need for local action, highlighting the State and Local Election Alliance as a practical way to feel less helpless.

2. Technology Boundaries and “Apple Watch Chaos” (07:55–09:44)

• Tig details her attempts to go “off-grid” (sort of) by leaving her phone behind and only receiving emails on Thursdays, sparking bemused disbelief from her co-hosts.
  • “I told my assistant, my manager…if it’s not urgent, send it to me on Thursday morning…now I have an Apple Watch and no one can contact me. So I’m even more out of touch.” (08:56)
• The conversation turns to managing online and text boundaries, and the shock that reshaping your digital habits is even possible.
  • Mae: “It’s so bold to say I’m only receiving emails on Thursday. It didn’t even occur to me you could do that.” (09:45)

3. Kerry Russell Encounters & Tig’s Crush (09:53–12:50)

• Fortune and Tig recount their mutual “sightings” of Tig's well-known crush, Keri Russell, at an event. Tig shares delight over an actual interaction:
  • “I see who I’ve never seen in the flesh, Kerry Russell, waving her hands, mouthing ‘I love you’…she said, ‘but I loved you before that.’” (12:33)
• Fortune: “We didn’t take a picture because I didn’t want to do that to Tig…back off, Peanut.” (13:06)
• The ongoing riff about Handsome podcast merchandise, including “Peanut” shirts, adds levity.

4. Celebrity Name Flubs & Party Antics (13:28–17:37)

• Mae tells a convoluted but funny story about misnaming celebrities at a party, invoking “Megan Lazarus” and “Felista Clockhart” as comic examples.
• There’s also concern for an inebriated party-goer whom Mae gently shepherds to safety—a moment of kindness amidst the chaos.
  • “I took [the drink] out of her hand, I poured it down the sink and filled the glass with water. You gotta drink that…They don’t want you here, you gotta go home.” (17:20-17:29)

5. Throw-Up Tales & “Life’s Messes” (20:41–27:12)

• The trio launches into a series of vomit stories, from Tig’s projectile cat (21:00), to Fortune’s near-disaster in front of Arnold Schwarzenegger (22:06), and Mae’s adolescent retaliation after being sent to a theater rehearsal while sick (24:27).
• Memorable quote (Tig): “If you're ever sick, you're throwing up, it's shooting out other areas—let it go. Your body knows what it's doing.” (23:44)
• There’s reflection on the sometimes comic contrasts between external success and internal vulnerability.

6. Emotional Vulnerability: Mae's Junos Photo Shoot Breakdown (27:39–30:48)

• Mae recounts breaking down in tears during a key art photo shoot for hosting the Juno Awards:
  • “I hate what I look like. The pants were too tight…Then the photographer comes over, makes it worse. I just—I start crying and then everyone acts like I am a mental patient.” (28:41-29:12)
• The group gently teases and supports Mae, highlighting the complexity of image, gender, and sensitivity in the public eye.

7. Tour Life, King Cake, and License Plate Anecdotes (31:55–41:41)

• Fortune describes her experience performing in New Orleans during Mardi Gras season, her first taste of King Cake, and the strange joy of potentially finding the plastic baby.
• The group riffs on custom license plates, especially Mae’s coincidence-laden “full sentence” plate and the best one Fortune ever saw: “FART GAS.”
• Lighthearted, signature digressions about snacks, childhood factory tours, and star meters ensue.
  • Tig: “Can you get your license plate to say star meter 108?” (39:15)

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Main Theme Segment: “What Question Do You Absolutely Not Want to Be Asked?”

(Listener Question from Megan Falley, 42:18–57:15)

Listener Question (Megan Falley, 42:21)

“What question do you absolutely not want to be asked? … Why don’t you want to be asked it, and maybe some alternative questions that somebody could ask you instead?”

Hosts’ Reflections

• Tig Notaro
  • Tired of: “How’d you get into comedy?” and “Who are your influences?”
    • "It's just been run into the ground and I'm like, I don't know if I can answer this again in my life." (44:54)
• Mae Martin
  • Finds “How are you?” especially challenging, particularly in hard times or post-crisis.
    • "It's so open-ended. I always feel like I should be great, but I'm not, ever really…maybe an alternative would be, 'what's the best thing that happened to you this week?'" (45:32–46:10)
  • Suggests specific prompts can invite richer answers and genuine connection ("what's the best thing that happened?").
• Fortune Feimster
  • Dislikes: “What do you do for a living?” especially from strangers, because it triggers instant pressure to be funny or interesting.
    • "Then they're like sizing you up, like you should be funny just by existing…" (48:54)
  • Also, “Tell me a joke!” and “What have I seen you in?” can be off-putting.

Notable Discussion:

• Fortune cites a Finnish practice of asking children “what was your favorite moment of the day?” to encourage emotional regulation and richer conversations (46:40–47:31).
• Mae observes how routine questions can miss the complexities behind someone’s current state—sometimes it’s more supportive to just acknowledge you’re thinking of someone (“I’m thinking about you, wondering what you need”). (58:42)

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Megan Falley’s Answer & Deep Reflection on Grief (56:04–57:29)

“The question that I don’t want to be asked feels innocuous enough, but as somebody who has recently lost her spouse, it is a question that I find impossible to answer…The question is simple and it’s just, ‘How are you?’…That question right now feels like a thimble at the mouth of the river.” (56:04–56:27)

• Meg advocates for more nuanced or open-ended alternatives—inviting the grieving person to tell a story or share an image that “grazes the magnitude” of what they’re experiencing.
• The hosts express gratitude and awe for Meg’s vulnerability and wisdom.
  • Tig: “It kind of goes back to that idea…just switch it up and say, what was your favorite moment of the day?...Just sitting and being with them, just showing up…is so valuable.” (57:41–60:54)
  • Mae: “That image of a thimble at the mouth of a river is so good, because it’s like, where do we start?” (58:08)

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Memorable Quotes

• “There's always something terrible happening in the world, and there always has been...Hell is always going on.” — Tig Notaro (07:06)
• “If you’re ever sick, you’re throwing up, it's shooting out other areas—let it go. Your body knows what it’s doing.” — Tig Notaro (23:44)
• “That question [‘how are you?’] right now feels like a thimble at the mouth of the river.” — Megan Falley (56:25)
• “Can you get your license plate to say star meter 108?” — Tig Notaro (39:15)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:00 — Hosts begin awards show/Golden Globes stories
• 07:55 — Tig describes her anti-phone strategy, limiting email (Apple Watch woes)
• 09:53 — Fortune’s Keri Russell sighting and Tig’s red carpet crush story
• 13:28 — Mae’s bathroom party misadventures and “Megan Lazarus” joke
• 20:41 — May helps sick party guest; hosts segue into vomit stories
• 27:39 — Mae on breakdown during Juno Awards photo shoot
• 31:55 — Fortune tries King Cake in New Orleans; King Cake lore
• 39:15 — License plate anecdotes, “star meter 108”
• 42:18 — Megan Falley’s question about unwanted questions
• 44:54–46:10 — Hosts reveal their least favorite questions and propose alternatives
• 56:04 — Megan Falley’s voice message on grief and the impossibility of “how are you?”
• 58:08 — Hosts reflect on supporting others, value of presence, non-verbal support

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Tone

Playful, irreverent, and honest, with trademark banter and comedic asides. The conversation shifts gracefully to moments of genuine vulnerability and thoughtful reflection, mirroring the real complexity of life’s conversations and challenges. The episode is peppered with punchlines, callbacks, and gentle self-deprecation, staying grounded even in its most absurd moments.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode expertly balances the comedic chaos of backstage stories and “life’s messes” with the raw reality of grief and connection. The hosts remind us that behind every glib “how are you?” is a complex river of experience. Listeners are encouraged to rethink the way we interact—offering presence, support, and more meaningful questions in place of social autopilot. Amidst all the irreverence, it’s a touching reminder of how humor, compassion, and a willingness to “switch it up” can make all the difference.

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Selected Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “It’s so bold to say I’m only receiving emails on Thursday. It didn’t even occur to me you could do that.” — Mae Martin (09:45)
• “That question [‘how are you?’] right now feels like a thimble at the mouth of the river.” — Megan Falley (56:25)
• “Can you get your license plate to say star meter 108?” — Tig Notaro (39:15)
• “If you’re ever sick, you’re throwing up, it's shooting out other areas—let it go. Your body knows what it’s doing.” — Tig Notaro (23:44)

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Transcript

[May Martin]

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[May Martin]

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[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[May Martin]

Cheers.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, what's your friend, Tigna? Oh, you go, girl. You go girl.

[Fortune Feemster]

You go.

[Tig Notaro]

It's Tig Notaro on the Handsome pod. I'm sitting here with my co host.

[May Martin]

I'll go. May Martin.

[Fortune Feemster]

And I'm Fortune Feemster.

[Tig Notaro]

How is it going?

[Fortune Feemster]

It's going good. Good morning.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah. How did you have your eggs in the morning, May?

[May Martin]

I haven't had them yet. I had a smooth. A smoothie.

[Fortune Feemster]

Did you. Did you just wake up?

[May Martin]

May, I'll be honest. And it's. I, I. Yeah, Yeah, I did. I gotta be honest.

[Fortune Feemster]

And that's fine. I would. We appreciate the honesty.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. It's almost past lunch.

[May Martin]

I did. And I did text.

[Tig Notaro]

Coming up on dinner time on the East Coast.

[May Martin]

I'm embarrassed because I texted. I'm so sorry. I'M gonna be eight. And that's how long I'd calculated to like, get dressed, get a coffee and make a smooth.

[Fortune Feemster]

I saw you last night.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Did you?

[Fortune Feemster]

And I left at a reasonable, A reasonable. Well, fairly reasonable. We, so we had the Golden Globes. Yeah. And I saw you at an after party.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You Left at about 12:30 or what?

[Fortune Feemster]

12:30. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I think I was maybe the last person there.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my Lord. Amazon.

[Fortune Feemster]

It was Nikki Glazer's after party. I, I, I went to the award show, so I was spent from. Yeah, it was an all day thing.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Those are long, long days.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I did not, I only went to that, that one party.

[Fortune Feemster]

And it wore you out?

[May Martin]

It wore me right out. I was with Lisa Gilroy. I was her plus one. And she just gets me riled up. I just, we, we just get hyper. And we stayed, we stayed very late and then we came back here and we were listening to really obscure Canadian 2000s pop. And it was a great night.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Did you have fun? You looked great. You looked so handsome.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, thanks, bud.

[Tig Notaro]

What were you wearing?

[Fortune Feemster]

I wore a navy Dolce and Gabbana tuxedo.

[Tig Notaro]

Hello.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And assless chaps.

[Fortune Feemster]

And assless chaps. I had never been to the actual award show, so I went with the Zootopia 2 filmmakers. And that was.

[Tig Notaro]

You had never been to the Golden Globes, you're saying?

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, I'd been to Afterparties and stuff, but never the actual award show.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

So it was cool.

[Fortune Feemster]

It was fun to just like watch people mingle. I stared at Julia Roberts for a long time. Oh, that's so good to see.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you have a thing for her? Are you just a fan or what's going on?

[Fortune Feemster]

You know, I, you know, I love those girl next door movies. Movie star actresses from the, my childhood. You know, Sandra Bullock, Julie Roberts.

[Tig Notaro]

I used to live on Julia's street in Venice. Oh, no, I don't know if she still has that house, but yeah, I lived on the same street that she did. And I would see her and her husband pushing their little cubs. They have twins?

[May Martin]

Yeah, they have twins.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah. I'd see them pushing their cubs around the neighborhood. And I was like, that's Julia. Yeah, there's. I think she, it's one of 10 houses that she probably has.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, she's pretty. Oh my God.

[May Martin]

There are a lot of beautiful people there. Last night it was.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, but.

[May Martin]

Ghoulish people. I, when I, I walked in and the first person I saw was Brecken Meyer, who asked a Question on our podcast. And I saw it. Friend of the pod. We chatted to Alison Brie and Dave Franco.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And G Flip.

[Fortune Feemster]

G Flips asked a question.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah, G Flip was there. Yeah, it was good. It does feel insane, though, with everything going on in the world to be at those parties. And then I feel like I've. Like, I have to say that. Which is a real bummer at a party. Like, I'm going, well, anyway. But of course, all this is going on. But there I was saying that to someone last night, and she was so, like, flippant about it. She was like, yeah, but, you know, it comes in. These things go in cycles, politically. Like, you know, we're in a bad spot, and then it'll just swing back. And I was like, yeah, I guess. But then I was like, but it's not affecting you at all. Like, that's like, we. I do think we gotta take action. Anyway, I just woke up. But I will say my. My only my two cents about everything is the state and local election alliance. That's a great thing to do if you're feeling helpless, which is they direct money to the really crucial local and state elections, and it's a great place to donate if you're feeling helpless. I just. When that woman said that, like, yeah, well, you know, wait it out. I was like, but no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, there's no real waiting it out because there's always something terrible happening in the world, and there always has been terrible stuff happening. Happening in the world. So I get that things come in phases, but hell is always going on.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Anyway, how is every.

[May Martin]

Sorry. We went from Golden Globes. Well, I saw Paris Hilton last night, though.

[Fortune Feemster]

That was exciting. There you go.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that was very cool.

[Fortune Feemster]

Really? These things are cyclical. JLO was dancing in the corner.

[Tig Notaro]

In the corner alone.

[Fortune Feemster]

I've been.

[May Martin]

How have you guys been feeling? Very up and down with everything or, like, glued to your phone.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

So it is a lot going on.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I was just telling Fortune and Thomas that I'm driving Stephanie nuts because I got an Apple watch. I don't know how to use it. So I am. I'm leaving my phone at home and at my hotel rooms, and I'm trying to figure out how to use my Apple watch with no success. And so I'll get home. And the other day, I had 68 texts. To be fair, I'm on text threads with different friends or jobs or whatever. But I was like, this is hilarious. Like, I must seem like I just don't care about anything or anyone anymore, which is not the case. I'm just trying to figure out how to use my phone. And. And. But I'm loving it because I told you about how I'm only getting emails on Thursdays now. No, I didn't tell you that.

[May Martin]

I missed that somehow. Maybe there's not many episodes.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, you didn't tell us that you're.

[May Martin]

Only getting emails on Thursday.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I told my assistant, my manager that if something's urgent, reach out anytime, but if it's not urgent, send it to me on Thursday morning, and then I'll have Thursday and Friday to deal with emails solely. And now I have an Apple watch and no one can contact me. So I'm even more out of touch. And so I'm trying to find a happy medium. So I haven't been glued to everything, but I am checking in with things here and there when I get back to my phone and I catch up and respond and whatever, but I'm trying to find the happy medium, but I'm very excited about the direction I'm going because I don't want to be at the beck and call of every text and buzz that comes in.

[Fortune Feemster]

Right.

[May Martin]

That's a bull. It's so bold to say I'm only receiving emails on Thursday. It's like it didn't even occur to me that you could do that. But.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, well, I'm experienced. It would take. Because I, at the award show last night, saw Tig's crush, Kerry Russell.

[May Martin]

Okay. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Were you shocked that I didn't respond immediately?

[Fortune Feemster]

Yes. Were you, like, up with this?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I'll tell you what. Well, I was also in San Francisco.

[Fortune Feemster]

I did spell Carries first name wrong, which Tig did eventually correct me on.

[May Martin]

Oh, God.

[Fortune Feemster]

But it was a lovely back shot of Carrie sitting with her very talented husband Matthew.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't bring him up.

[Fortune Feemster]

Sorry. And I was like, hey, it's your girl. And there was no silence. And I was like, well, maybe she's moved on.

[May Martin]

You don't know. Maybe Tig was, like, jabbing at her wrist, trying to figure out how to respond.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, no, I. I promise you, I was complet. Completely out of touch. But the good news is. Okay, all right. I did respond to Fortune, but I one upped her because.

[Fortune Feemster]

Big time.

[Tig Notaro]

Big time.

[Fortune Feemster]

Because.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, hear me out. I'm at a red carpet for I. I've been having to do a lot of different events, like, all day and night for the last push for the Oscar nominations.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And so I'm in Line at this red light, red light, red carpet. And I see who I've never seen in the flesh, Kerry Russell, waving her hands, mouthing, I love you. And I was. Well, that's what I. I was like, well, that's.

[Fortune Feemster]

Obviously, I don't want to one up Tig, but she also did it to me last night.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, wait, what is happening? Hold on a second. Hear me out. So I'm just. I'm looking at her and I'm think, well, clearly that's not for me. And she's like, I love you. And. And then I look around and I. I pointed myself. I said, are you talking to me? Did you say moi? And she's like, yes. And so we start talking, and I said, hey, you know, I've talked about you publicly. And she was like, no.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

What? Like, And I said, yeah, right. I said, I am about. I'm blushing. I said, I've spoken about how you are my type. I think you're hot. You didn't hear that? And she was like, yeah, you did.

[Fortune Feemster]

Like a whole thing.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Ride a bike.

[Tig Notaro]

And she was like, no, no. And anyway, so we chat, we take photos, and. And she's trying to get, like, the perfect light, and so we both look as hot as we are. I was so underdressed.

[Fortune Feemster]

They look very hot.

[Tig Notaro]

So. Yeah. And then as she's walking off, she's like, yeah, I actually did hear, oh, my God. And she was like, but I. She said, but I. I loved you before that. And I was like, all right.

[May Martin]

That'S fun.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it was really fun. And she is an attractive person. I will. I'll confirm.

[Fortune Feemster]

And she seemed as a super bubbly personality because she was, like, waving. She's like, hey, yeah, we didn't take a picture because, you know, I didn't want to do that to Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, back off. But back off, Peanut.

[Fortune Feemster]

Those shirts are the flying off the shelves, are they? They are.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow.

[Fortune Feemster]

How do you know the merch? People said that that's the top.

[Tig Notaro]

The hot ticket.

[Fortune Feemster]

The hot ticket right now.

[Tig Notaro]

More than Fortune Marie.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Can you believe it?

[Megan Fowley]

Wow.

[May Martin]

You know what? You know what's embarrassing? I ordered. I ordered one of the peanut butter shirts from the website, and then I thought, I probably could have got that for free.

[Fortune Feemster]

You can be sent a shirt of your own merch. Yes.

[May Martin]

Y ordered it. Well, so that means you guys are making $3 each from.

[Fortune Feemster]

You don't think we're making that much.

[May Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

My stepfather, Cowboy Rick, he. When he would go to my shows, maybe I've told you this. He would stand in line if I was at the merchandise table meeting people or doing any sort of meet and greet. He would stand in line with the rest of the audience waiting to meet you, waiting to tell me that I did a good job.

[May Martin]

I love that.

[Tig Notaro]

And I was like, rick, you could cut the line. And he was like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I will wait money to be here. Yeah, I'm gonna wait my turn to tell you. Every show he came to, he was like, I believe that was your best performance you've ever. That I've ever seen. That was the best one.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's.

[Tig Notaro]

Anyway. Yeah, pretty good.

[May Martin]

I Last night was in the bathroom with Lisa and Leighton. Leighton Meester was there waiting to use the bathroom. You know Leighton Meester from. From Nobody wants this. And she's married to.

[Fortune Feemster]

She was in Gossip Girl.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Anyway, Adam Brody.

[May Martin]

Yeah. So she's there and then has no clue. She has no idea. Yeah, Blank expression.

[Tig Notaro]

Listen, I'm still thinking about Keri Russell.

[May Martin]

So Lisa goes, hi, excuse me. I just want to say I love you. You're amazing. But something really funny happened where my. And I hope you think this is funny, but my husband was trying to talk to me about you, and he said, oh, you know who's really great? Is that like Megan Lazarus. And. And then she goes, oh, and she goes, I'm just saying he didn't know your name, but that's just because he's a man. But he said Megan Lazarus. And so latent Mister's like sort of chuckling. And then I said, I got a better one. My friend recently said, Felista Clockhart. And that really got her laughing.

[Tig Notaro]

So wait, but who is Megan Lazarus?

[May Martin]

No, just a made up name.

[Fortune Feemster]

Her name. Lighten me.

[May Martin]

Oh, there's no one called Megan Lazarus.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I was like, I'm so lost right now.

[May Martin]

It wasn't a great story. I'm still. Bear with me, me.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you mess up the name Megan Lazaru or this person messed up.

[May Martin]

Lisa Gilroy was telling Leighton Meester. Oh, my husband called you.

[Tig Notaro]

I need to tap out of this.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm lost.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feemster]

My husband called you this crazy name. Isn't that funny?

[May Martin]

Yeah, and she was sort of laughing, but then I tr. Then I said, Felista Clockart. And she really liked that. And then a few hours later, I went to the bathroom and I heard somebody throwing up. And in the stall, it wasn't Megan.

[Fortune Feemster]

Lazarus.

[May Martin]

It was Felista Clockwork. No, someone was throwing up. And so I Thought I better wait and make sure this person's okay.

[Tig Notaro]

So, Megan Felista.

[Fortune Feemster]

Is everyone okay?

[May Martin]

She comes out and she. And then she's at the sink and she starts almost throwing up in the sink then. And I said, hey, are you okay? And she goes, maybe. And I said, yeah. And she goes, I love the pod. And then I said. I said, I think you gotta go home. And then she's holding a drink, and she goes to take a sip. And I said, is that alcohol? That. And it was like a clear drink. She goes, it's vodka.

[Fortune Feemster]

No.

[May Martin]

And so I said, no, no, no. And I took it out. She puked and rallied, took it out of her hand. I poured it down the sink, and then I filled the glass up with water and I said, you gotta drink that. And she was like, thank you.

[Fortune Feemster]

I know this toilet water drink.

[May Martin]

You have to go home. And she goes, but all my friends are here. I said, they don't want you here. You got it.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

You gotta go night night.

[May Martin]

Yeah, go night night.

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feemster]

Right now she's texting her friends. You'll never believe what happened last night.

[May Martin]

May still know.

[Tig Notaro]

She doesn't remember anything.

[Fortune Feemster]

She might, she might be like, may took my vodka.

[Tig Notaro]

I have a throw up story.

[Fortune Feemster]

Let's hear it.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

My friend will go around and tell throw up.

[Tig Notaro]

My friend. My friend Steph is in town for all this. She's one of the producers. She's who got thumbed. She's one of the producers of Come See Me in the Good Light. So she's staying with us while we're doing these, these little, you know, pressed this press stuff we're doing. And, and the other night after we all hung out, she went into her room and closed the door. And then one of my cats just projectile vomited outside the door. And I told Steph was like, what? Should I take this personally? And I, I was like, no, I think honestly, because nobody in our house closes doors. I think our kitty was just like, emotionally distressed because Steph closed the door. And so my cat was like, Stephanie and I were in bed and she was like, oh, God, a cat just threw up. That's really funny. Anyway, life, right? Life.

[May Martin]

Do you have a throw up story? Fortune?

[Fortune Feemster]

I almost threw up in front of Arnold once that he would have been.

[May Martin]

Like, your stomach is weak.

[Fortune Feemster]

I got food poisoning and was like having the grumbles that morning. And I was like, oh, what's wrong? Like, and I. And. And one of the makeup artists was like, here, drink some tea. And it made it worse.

[May Martin]

Oh, God.

[Fortune Feemster]

And. And. But I was like, okay, maybe I'll be okay. I'll just like through. And I was sitting beside Arnold and all of a sudden I. And we were about, like, started shooting and I could feel it kind of coming up during a. And I had seconds to be like, am I.

[Tig Notaro]

Was it also coming down?

[Fortune Feemster]

No, it was just, just throw up. And I was like, am I going to throw up? And on beside. Sitting beside Arnold Schneer. I was like, I can't do. Like, this cannot be our story together. And so I just like, during the middle of the take, just stood up and bolted out of the room and didn't even make it a trash can right in the hallway. I was like, I know. I was like, I am not throwing up in front of this man.

[Tig Notaro]

I feel like, would he throw up in front of you?

[Fortune Feemster]

I don't know.

[May Martin]

I don't think he's ever thrown up.

[Fortune Feemster]

He's never, ever.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, he's got the strength to keep that in his body.

[Fortune Feemster]

Holding it.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

You will not, you will not come out of my body. Yeah, no, I couldn't. I didn't have the strength.

[Tig Notaro]

By the way, if you're ever sick, you're throwing up. It's shooting out other areas. Let it go. Your body knows what it's doing. Don't take medicine that's gonna hold on to that stuff. Like, why is everyone desperate to on to their diarrhea anyway?

[Fortune Feemster]

Only I think they're only doing that if they, like, have to go somewhere.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, okay, that makes more sense.

[May Martin]

They're like, keep it in, keep it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, that's mine. I'm holding on to it.

[Fortune Feemster]

If you're going somewhere, you're like, oh, God, I don't want to be having this happen.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I understand now.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Now that I think it through, I.

[May Martin]

Have only one throw up story.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, yes, Please may share yours.

[May Martin]

Well, all I can think of is when I was about 12, I was really feeling sick. I'd eaten macaroni salad. That I think was bad. And my parents didn't believe me because I was boy who cried wolf so much. I was.

[Fortune Feemster]

No, I was fake sick.

[Tig Notaro]

I can't. I don't believe it.

[Fortune Feemster]

I'm gonna need proof either.

[May Martin]

It was because I'd get anxious. I wouldn't want to go to school because I couldn't say, I'm anxious. So I would say, oh, my arm fell off or whatever, of course. So I said. My parents were like, you gotta go. It was an after school drama program that I was signed up in called the Trinity Basement Theater. And I really. I begged not to go. And they made me go. And then I was sitting in the rows of seats and it was. We were rehearsing for this like religious theater thing. And then I thought to myself, okay, it's coming. I'm gonna throw up. And vindictively, like I was. I was so vindicated that I just projectile. I made it. Like I went. And it went all over the room like it was so projectile. But I did it. I was like. Because I was so pissed that they hadn't believed me.

[Fortune Feemster]

I showed you guys.

[Tig Notaro]

One of my favorite since. I mean. Welcome to the show. If you're a new listener. One of my favorite throw up stories was my. My first girlfriend's sister's daughter. So my first girlfriend's niece when she was 2, was sitting on the bed watching Sesame street while her mother was folding clothes on the bed. And this little two year old watching Sesame street projectile vomits while she's just enjoying herself in her life watching this wonderful television show. And then she turns to her mother and she goes, what happened? Like, she was so confused because she was so new to the world. Like, all she knew was like, she's enjoying herself. What the hell is this?

[May Martin]

Hell was that?

[Fortune Feemster]

That's funny. What happened?

[Tig Notaro]

What happened? And may I have to say, since you and I did our mini episode, I keep laughing about it's been.

[May Martin]

Me too. You know what? I'm hosting the Juno Awards in Canada. Like the Canadian Music Awards. And I think that would kill there. Maybe because it's Canadian, I might say.

[Tig Notaro]

So good.

[May Martin]

I might say it's so nice to be in a room where everyone knows what I mean when I say it's been.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's funny.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you know what song that is? Fortune.

[Fortune Feemster]

Is that bare? Yeah, of course it is.

[May Martin]

I'm so glad.

[Tig Notaro]

It's just such a tiny. It's such a. That's just so funny, mate.

[Fortune Feemster]

What are the Juno Awards?

[May Martin]

They're in the end of March, and they're giving Joni Mitchell a lifetime achievement award. So I'm gonna be. I'm gonna meet Joni Mitchell. What will I say?

[Tig Notaro]

Amazing.

[Fortune Feemster]

Going on Christmas.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Cutting down trees.

[May Martin]

Actually, guys, I just went to Toronto. I went to Toronto to do, like, two days of filming promo for this Juno's hosting thing. And I had something happen to me that has never happened to me before, which is I burst into tears in the middle of a photo shoot. It was, like, 10 people watching, and I'm in this suit, and I know this is going to be, like, the key art for, like, May is hosting the Junos. And there's, like, all these people just standing expressionless, kind of looking at me, going, yeah, maybe something better than this. I don't know. And I catch s monitors, and I just am like, I hate what I look like. And, like, the pants were too tight. I don't know. I just shouldn't have looked at the monitors, you know? And then I get a lump in my throat and I go. I said, I'm just going to go pee. And then the photographer comes over and goes, are you okay? And you know when someone likes it makes it worse. And I just.

[Fortune Feemster]

You're like, no.

[May Martin]

I went, I'm so sorry. I don't know. I just. And I start. I start crying and. And I. And then everyone acts like I am a mental patient. Like, I am, like, so fragile. Everyone's like, oh, my God. And I go, guys, it's totally. I'm probably getting my period. I'm like, fine. I go, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be back in, like, 10 minutes. And I go out. People are going, should we pull the shoot, May? Do you want us to cancel it? It's. This is. We don't want you to be uncomfortable. And that's making me cry more because I'm going, it's just a photo shoot.

[Tig Notaro]

That's your star level, though, right there. Everyone like, oh, my gosh. May's not your IMDb score. Thomas, can you look up May's IMDb score, see if this is reasonable?

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, my God. If this behavior matches the score, then.

[May Martin]

So I changed. Oh, I'm 108.

[Tig Notaro]

You are a bonafide star.

[Fortune Feemster]

You're a star, baby.

[May Martin]

No way, man.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm lost in the shuffle. So far away.

[Fortune Feemster]

You're a star, baby.

[May Martin]

But so I go out and I'm trying to stop crying, but it's like the floodgates have opened. I don't know what it was. And then so my. My makeup's getting all up, and then I go back in, like, 10 minutes.

[Tig Notaro]

Later, and your clear makeup go on.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah. My invisible makeup.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And they've erected these poles with. And put this black fabric up to block everybody, so it feels like I'm by myself and. But I know they're all just standing behind this. The curtain, looking at the monitors. Oh, man. It was embarrassing. And I was like, it's really fine. It's nothing to do with anything except my own.

[Tig Notaro]

You're like, I'm not even gonna bring it up on my podcast. It's no big deal. Everyone move on.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, yeah, it's been.

[May Martin]

But it was just. I think, just, like, gender stuff. And they. But they were so nice about it. But the more. The nicer they were, the more I cried, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

But you got through it. The photo shoot ended up being okay.

[May Martin]

Totally.

[Tig Notaro]

Or were you crying through it? That would be interesting, too.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. Those are artsy photos. Can you imagine on clear mascara running down your face.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Fortune Feemster]

Swollen red lip taint all over your lips.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Also, did you notice Tig scratch like this?

[Tig Notaro]

I did, because I. I wanted to explain myself. Go to YouTube and rewind a little bit. I wanted to explain myself. I didn't want to interrupt May's story. I did that because I had. Oh, I can do it again.

[May Martin]

That's how you scratched yourself.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Because my microphone is set up on metal lunchboxes from my childhood, and so I. It's, like, so precariously placed that it will fall with the slightest touch. And I was trying to go in through here, but I couldn't get the angle. This is really good podcasting. And so it's been fortune. Can you do it?

[Fortune Feemster]

Spin it Spam?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, let's all do it together.

[Fortune Feemster]

One week since you looked at.

[Tig Notaro]

Looked at me.

[Fortune Feemster]

Me. I went to your neck of the woods. Take to new. I had a show in New Orleans.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, how is that?

[Fortune Feemster]

It was amazing. And they're all pumped right now because it's y'. All start of Mardi Gras season.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

So everyone insisted that I try King Cake.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you?

[Fortune Feemster]

I did. They. They bought a king cake.

[Tig Notaro]

I can't believe you never had one.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Stage.

[Fortune Feemster]

No. And I very carefully cut into it, hoping to find. Is it a baby?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

I wanted to find a baby, but I didn't want to eat the baby.

[Tig Notaro]

Sure.

[Fortune Feemster]

But I cut a slice for me and my tour promoter and. And my opener, Zach, and none of us got the baby. We Left the rest of the King Cake for the theater. So someone there got the baby.

[Tig Notaro]

But how delicious is King Cake?

[Fortune Feemster]

The one what we got tasted like a cinnamon roll.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, well, that's basically what they taste like. Okay, but what do you get if.

[May Martin]

You get the baby?

[Fortune Feemster]

Yes. It's a lot to explain.

[May Martin]

It's like just good luck, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

Good luck, but also you host the next Mardi Gras party.

[Fortune Feemster]

You know, that doesn't seem like good luck to me.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, well, it depends on what you're looking for. It's film.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

You got.

[Fortune Feemster]

You're gonna get good luck. And also you have to throw a party. Well, but, yeah, they were. They were pumped. And then I had a show in mobile, and someone there owns a float company, and they had made 60 floats for Mardi Gras, and they were, wow, so pumped about.

[Tig Notaro]

Was there a handsome float?

[Fortune Feemster]

No, but they wanted me to come tour their float, their facilities, which I imagine would extend to any of you guys should you want to see floats.

[May Martin]

I. For the record, if anyone listening here runs any kind of factory, I'm interested. I want to go see how.

[Tig Notaro]

Factory. Factory. Where they just pumping out factories left.

[May Martin]

Because fortune, when you were a kid, didn't you go for your birthday and see how something was made? Ice cream.

[Fortune Feemster]

In my current set, I talk about going to the Frito Lay factory.

[May Martin]

The Frito Lay factory?

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. And it was warm out there. Well, is that unseasonably or is always warm there during this time?

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, I'm not a weatherman.

[May Martin]

I mean, you look like one for sure.

[Fortune Feemster]

If not a weatherman.

[Tig Notaro]

You should have swung by to see my family.

[Fortune Feemster]

I. Yeah, I wish I had. I didn't think about it. How far are they from New Orleans?

[Tig Notaro]

About an hour.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's not swinging. That's going on a trip.

[May Martin]

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[May Martin]

What are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to squarespace.com handsome for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use Offer Code handsome to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. People keep asking me about my 2026 resolutions.

[Fortune Feemster]

Sure.

[May Martin]

Listen, I've got the usual goals. Go on a road trip, learn to play the synthesizer, visit the North Pole, get my metal detector working. But this year there's a new one at the top of my list and that's get comfy. And that's where Bombas comes in. They're bringing serious comfort to all my everyday go to's.

[Tig Notaro]

The all new Bombas sport socks are engineered with sports specific comfort for running, golf, hiking, skiing, snowboarding and all sport. This year I want to go on more long walks and these are the perfect socks to keep me comfortable and locked in. But when I'm home, Bombas has got me covered as well with their luxurious Sherpa Sunday slippers that feel like walking on clouds even when I'm just sitting on the couch with my family. And underneath it all, Bombas has the softest base layers that will have you rethinking your whole wardrobe.

[May Martin]

Head over to bombas.com handsome and use code handsome for 20 off your first purchase. That's B O-M-B-A-S.com handsome code handsome@ checkout in partnership with Airbnb. Let's talk a little about travel. Tig. I want to go away. I want to take a little getaway somewhere in the next couple months. Where should I go? I want to maybe go somewhere warm with a pool. I want to be by myself like I was in Big Bear. But I also want to invite some friends. What do you think?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I love Palm Springs and we spend a lot of time there as a family. There's also Ojai if you're looking for somewhere a little different. Different? The nice thing about Ojai is you're also only half an hour away from some really nice beaches.

[May Martin]

That's a good idea. I'm kind of. I'm craving the kind of home where I don't even want to leave the house. Like maybe there's a garden or some nooks to read and do my paintings in. And I love Airbnb because it feels so much more special than a generic hotel. You get more space, a kitchen, maybe a patio, nice balcony. Airbnb also has a guest favorites feature, which is a badge on Airbnb that shows the most loved homes on Airbnb. I've had a lot of success with that feature.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, May, good luck wherever you end up. Just don't forget your synthesizer.

[May Martin]

Of course. I could never forget. Check out Airbnb and do some traveling yourself. I would love that. Because I'm loving driving.

[Tig Notaro]

They come get you an hour long.

[May Martin]

Drive to me sounds great right now.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

How's your driving going?

[Tig Notaro]

Drive?

[May Martin]

I'm loving driving.

[Fortune Feemster]

You're loving it?

[May Martin]

Yeah. I'm listening to tunes now. I've been brave enough to listen to music while I drive.

[Tig Notaro]

That is hilarious.

[Fortune Feemster]

I mean, we did tell you like two years ago you were gonna love driving.

[May Martin]

I know. I didn't believe you. And then now I'll finish a drive. I'll just sit in my car.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I finish. I'll park the car, I stop the engine. I'm just sitting there. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You don't care.

[Fortune Feemster]

It's your own little oasis in the thing.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

I said to you, May, you're gonna love driving. It's gonna be. You're gonna feel so into. More independent.

[May Martin]

Yeah. So free. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Can you get your license plate to say star meter 108?

[Fortune Feemster]

Star meter 2.

[May Martin]

Can. Okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

At one point, maybe.

[Tig Notaro]

Might even been one.

[May Martin]

I want to tell you this without telling you my actual license plate, but. So I'm going to change some of it. But my license plate is a full sentence. I haven't done that in a while.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, we'll put that in, but tell us now and Thomas will edit it out.

[May Martin]

Well, okay. I'm just changing some of the details.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

But we'll be able to figure it out.

[May Martin]

Yeah, my license plate is. Okay, it's a different number, but let's say it's this eight G, F, B, four, two, nine. So eight girlfriends before 29. And then I added them up, but they're different. But they're different numbers. It's actually that I just. I just obscure. I told different numbers for the sake of this podcast. Take your face. So. So. But then I added them up and it turned and the. And it's accurate.

[Fortune Feemster]

That is kind of crazy. That is. That is a weird coincidence.

[May Martin]

You don't think that's weird?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, how many boyfriend friends did you have?

[May Martin]

I don't know.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's not what the license.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune, Stay out of this. Fortune, Please stay out of this.

[May Martin]

I was busy.

[Fortune Feemster]

Isn't that, say, GF and bf?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

All right.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. I'm sorry. Well, that's great, May.

[May Martin]

It's good to have a full sentence license plate because it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

You don't remember it.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And it's like, I've got a personalized one.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, sure.

[Fortune Feemster]

It sure does. Not to compete with the best license plate I ever saw was fart gas.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's really good.

[Fortune Feemster]

That was the best one.

[May Martin]

Don't they have to have some numbers in them? The license plate?

[Fortune Feemster]

No, not a personalized one.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feemster]

I think. I don't think. I think a personalized one can be whatever you want.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Like, you could just have your license, say, star Meter. You don't even have to have a number on it.

[May Martin]

I could get Brow Trophia.

[Tig Notaro]

That Frau Tr. Or Felisa.

[Fortune Feemster]

We also have Frau Trofia shirts.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh, I want one of those.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, we have three Dance Academy frou. However you say it.

[Tig Notaro]

Let's get to our question. Marie, let us please get to our question. We have a whole episode on Throw Up Diarrhea and Frau Shafia, and yeah, it's bound.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay. Today's question asker is an author and poet who was a National Poetry Slam finalist. Her relationship and marriage to Andrea Gibson is featured in the documentary Come See Me in the Good Life. Megan Fowley is asking today's question.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Megan Fowley]

Hi, Tig. Hi, May. Hi, Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

Marie.

[Megan Fowley]

Hi, Handsomest handsome podcast ever. My name is Megan Fowley, but you can call me Meg. And I am a writer and the one of the subjects of the documentary Come See Me in the Good Light, along with my partner, Andrea Gibson, which was produced Bite Tick. And my question's a little weird today, and it is. What question do you absolutely not want to be asked? Obviously, I'm not asking you to answer that question. I just want to know what question you don't want to be asked, why you don't want to be asked it, and maybe some alternative questions that somebody could ask you instead. That would feel better. I cannot wait to hear your answers.

[May Martin]

Interesting.

[Fortune Feemster]

Of course.

[May Martin]

Of course. From a. From a poet, we get a stunning question.

[Fortune Feemster]

I know, and I love that Meg knows how handsome all of us are.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I felt. I felt.

[Tig Notaro]

Especially after all the diarrhea talk.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, no, no, I know. They're still handsome. And also, don't forget to put in our comments your own Throw ups. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I like to not forget your own.

[Fortune Feemster]

Please weigh in.

[May Martin]

I met somebody take. Who has a theory about you and what our question askers and their theory is that when. When you don't know who the question asker is after the question you say nice for longer. But you know Meg very well. So we've just proved that theory is not true. But they had a whole theory. They go, I've noticed that. That if Tig maybe doesn't know the question asker, Tig will go, nice. But I've never noticed that. But it's funny. The theory is.

[Tig Notaro]

Anyway, yeah, that theory is wrong. I just like. Because I think I'm saying nice after everybody is introduced on the podcast. But in a weird twist, I haven't known who any of our guests have been, so that's not true. I know it. Fortune. You couldn't let that hang in the air for a second, could you?

[Fortune Feemster]

No, I couldn't.

[Tig Notaro]

I know what happened. What happened? What happened else Film. Let's do an episode where it's all callbacks. Callbacks, the time and catchphrase, Pineapple apart, all that stuff. Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Ghost.

[May Martin]

What question would you not want to be asked?

[Tig Notaro]

You know what? I'll tell you. I've been asked this question many times and I guess I've just really. It's just been running to the ground and I'm like, I don't know if I can answer this again in my life. But, like, how'd you get into comedy and who are your influences? How would you describe your comedy? I'm like, oh, God. Well, that's so good. Here's how I got into it. Here's who I liked and here's how.

[Fortune Feemster]

I would describe it.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's a good answer.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it's tough.

[May Martin]

I think that when I struggle with. Is, how are you? Like, it's so open ended. I mean, like that photographer saying, are you okay? It kind of makes me. And it. And it. I always feel like I should be great, but I'm not ever really. Or you know, or I periodically. But are any of us. Like, it just spins me out and I'm like, well, what. What's the metric? Like, what do you. Deep. Should I go? Like, do you actually want to know? Or. Or am I going to overshare? Like, do you just want me to go, yeah, I'm great. Or if I.

[Fortune Feemster]

So yeah, that's often when you hear that.

[May Martin]

Every time.

[Fortune Feemster]

Every time.

[May Martin]

Listen, I think I'm a little on the spectrum. What can I say? I get really spun out. I'm like, what's the correct answer? But then I think an alternative question someone could ask would be like, what's the best thing that happened to you this week? Or. Or what's on your mind these days? What are you ruminating on? You know, or that kind of thing. How are you? Is too non specific, I think.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Maybe give me some parameters. Go. Scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel in your bod today?

[Tig Notaro]

Switch up the question.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Make the person think.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, I was reading. I don't remember if I told you this, but there was a. A study, a finished study where they started asking their kids, what was your favorite moment of the day? And it like, had a. Like, really? Pot? Instead of being like, what was your best and what was your worst? Just like, what's the favorite moment?

[May Martin]

That's good.

[Fortune Feemster]

It helped them emotionally regulate better.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah. And also when you. When your kids get home from school and you're like, how was your day? It's so open ended.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

But if you say like, who was your best friend today? Or what was your favorite subject?

[Fortune Feemster]

Finding a simple thing, that was like, yeah. It wasn't like measuring the best and worst or bringing up a negative thing. It was just like, oh, what? What was it? And just for some, somehow that correlated to them helping emotionally regulate. So that was interesting.

[Tig Notaro]

I certainly kind of do. I. I have been like, oh, what? What was good today? What wasn't great? And that kind of stuff. And it does get the conversation going. But that's interesting to say. What was your favorite moment? I'm gonna give that a whirl. Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Try it. See what, See what comes of it. So maybe people now, if they hear this, they'll ask you that instead of, how are you?

[May Martin]

Yeah. The funny thing about kids is when. When they're. You're like, what happened at school today? And they're like, man, nothing. And then like two days later they're like, sophie shot herself in the hall a few days ago. And you're like, why didn't you mention that? Anyway, back to, back to boo. Yeah, sorry. And it was so aggressive the way I said shot shat herself. Yeah, sorry about that.

[Tig Notaro]

So aggressive. May. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I hope everyone feels safe. Fortune, what about you?

[Fortune Feemster]

What question do people ask me a lot People always, what do you not.

[May Martin]

Want to be asked?

[Fortune Feemster]

I mean, there's no question that. I'm just like, I wish we wouldn't ask me that. I mean, sometimes I don't. It's weird when you're like talking to a stranger. And they're like, like, what do you do for a living? Oh, yeah, Never. I never like answering that question. Because then it was like, oh, you're a comedian, are you?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, right.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

All right. And then they're like sizing you up like, you should be funny just by existing.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

And then it's like, well, you hadn't said anything funny so far. You're like, well, I'm just talking to you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Or they'll be like, tell me, tell me a joke that. Love that.

[May Martin]

Or what have I seen you in? That's rough.

[Fortune Feemster]

I do get that sometimes. What have I seen you in? And I'm like, do I really have to list my resume here?

[Tig Notaro]

That's. And this is, this is gonna sound like, oh, aren't I or aren't we great? But like, when people just generally say I love you in your show. And then I, I used to be like, what? Which show? Like, I wanted to get it right to talk to them about it, but now I just go, oh, thanks. Rather than, oh, Star Trek. Oh, no, Stan, stand up. Or, you know, or handsome or there's like, that's what we do. It's like a million different shows. And so now when people are like, oh, I love you on your show.

[Fortune Feemster]

Thank you.

[May Martin]

I was excited flying back from Toronto. Dan Aykroyd was on my flight and like growing up in Canada and around Second City and stuff, he's. He was like very omnipresent. And then I got off the flight and I thought, I'm not going to bother him because I don't want to. Gonna be disappointed and you know, if he's not in the mood. And then he came up to me and he goes, you were wonderful in that. In that show. And I went, oh my God, thank you so much. And then he said. I said, I'm a huge fan. I'm from Toronto.

[Fortune Feemster]

And that's awesome.

[May Martin]

And then he said, do you live in. Do you live in la? And I said, yeah. And he goes, do you have an agent? It was such a sweet. And he was being like a supportive dad, but it was just funny to imagine that it a. I made Wayward without an agent.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, well, you can. I made one Mississippi without an agent.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, no, he was super nice.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, I just watched him in that John Candy documentary.

[May Martin]

I had to watch it.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's very nostalgic Canadian. So you would enjoy it, seeing a lot of that. The folks from that comedy scene in.

[Tig Notaro]

A. Yeah, it's good I was on a flight out of Toronto and Geddy Lee was on my flight. You know who that is?

[May Martin]

Yeah, from Rush.

[Tig Notaro]

Lead singer and bassist of Rush.

[May Martin]

Hell yeah. Which is rare. Lead singer and bassist is rare.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that is right. Well, except the lead singer of God is Night Ranger. Thomas is the lead singer of Night Ranger. A bassist?

[May Martin]

I guess. Paul McCartney.

[Tig Notaro]

And so is Sting as a bassist.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

He's also into Kamasutra.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

The art of making love for a long time.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm thinking of like 80s metal bands. I feel like the lead singer of Winger. Is he a bassist too? Will you check out Winger?

[Fortune Feemster]

I don't know. He can have sex for hours.

[May Martin]

Fortune's still uncommon. Karma Sutra.

[Fortune Feemster]

Well, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, for life. That's for Night Ranger, right? With the note you just sent Thomas? Yeah, well, he's saying sister, Christian wife, Charles Kip Winger is a basis. Come on. Who is impressed that I knew the lead singer of Winger was a bassist? I'm talking 80s metal right now.

[Fortune Feemster]

I don't know. You lost it.

[May Martin]

Yeah, we're stuck on the. On Sting's.

[Fortune Feemster]

Anybody have any. Y' all studied that?

[May Martin]

Well, I've dabbled in like, in sex. In. In like long term edging. Like, which I guess is partly what Karma Sutra is. Right?

[Fortune Feemster]

Wait, edgy? Long term edging. Like someone riled up and not doing anything. Is that what that is?

[May Martin]

Yeah, like orgasm denial. You get. You get real close and you make it go on for hours and hours and it gets.

[Fortune Feemster]

Wait, you could do that for hours?

[May Martin]

I could do that for hours, yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Wait. Yeah, hold on. You're in the. Okay, you're.

[May Martin]

You're having a sex.

[Fortune Feemster]

You're making love.

[May Martin]

Well, maybe the person's tied up or you're. Or something. And. And oh, boy.

[Tig Notaro]

Anyway.

[May Martin]

But it can go for hours.

[Fortune Feemster]

Hours. Hours, yeah, if you want the time. So you're just doing stuff to torture them?

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune's like, I got a radio show to record.

[Fortune Feemster]

I mean, my schedule is full. You're talking about hours of edging?

[May Martin]

I think you gotta block up.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's why you're not available for the podcast sometimes.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, guys, I'm running eight minutes late in my edging.

[Fortune Feemster]

Edging right now. Wow. Honestly, like maybe an hour of that. Sure, but you said hours.

[May Martin]

I mean, with breaks. Taking breaks and like, you just have like a long sesh. Maybe you're taking turns, but should we.

[Tig Notaro]

See what Meg has to say?

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Wait.

[May Martin]

Oh, God, no. How can you wait?

[Fortune Feemster]

How can you move on? I don't understand though.

[May Martin]

Like.

[Fortune Feemster]

Like at some point or the other person's not like, enough. This is.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

I'm tired.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's kind of part. Part of it. Like at some point someone will, you know, it'll. It'll end.

[Tig Notaro]

I could just text Meg on my own.

[Fortune Feemster]

I mean, like, good for you, I guess. And then when you finally achieve, then it's the best satisfaction. Then it's. It's been worth the three hours ban.

[Tig Notaro]

Worth.

[May Martin]

Yes, three. Usually you cry after.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm just gonna.

[Fortune Feemster]

No. Are you serious? The person's cried.

[May Martin]

I've cried after, like the release of like.

[Fortune Feemster]

Because you're like, God, that took three hours. I can't believe it.

[May Martin]

Well, because it's built up for so long that it's like explosive. Oh, cathartic.

[Tig Notaro]

God.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay, well.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my gosh. Can I just tell you something? Sorry, I was going to text me that we're taking for we're edging and we can't get to the answer of her question. And do you know I need to get a question from him. John Lovett, who's from Love it or Leave it and POD Save America. He texted, he texted me something about grabbing dinner and then he wrote again, if you're seeing this on your watch, please hand the whole watch to Stephanie and ask her to take. Text us. Because I saw him the other day and I was like, I can't. I don't know how to use this. I'm completely out of touch. Anyway. Haha. Should we see what Meg has to say before we.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, we would love it. We were edging the answer.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Megan Fowley]

The question that I don't want to be asked feels innocuous enough. But as somebody who has recently lost her spouse, it is a question that I find impossible to answer. And the question is simple and it's just, how are you? Hey, I am so many things, y'.

[May Martin]

All.

[Megan Fowley]

And a few flimsy adjectives are not enough to hold it. And I've said before that the question how are you posed to me right now? Feels like a thimble at the mouth of the river. If I were to come up with some alternative question to ask somebody, perhaps going through something huge or in deep grief, it might be like, tell me a story or send me an image that feels like it grazes the magnitude of what you're experiencing right now, that would be a whole lot just more true and real for me to. To share with others. So I hope that alternatives to the a basic question like how are you? Can be found and can help other people connect with folks going through something Big.

[Tig Notaro]

All right, y'.

[May Martin]

All.

[Megan Fowley]

I love you so much, and I'm so grateful for what you do and so grateful for the episode of the podcast you devoted to talking about Andrea. Yeah. Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, Meg, Mag is.

[May Martin]

I'm sorry that I. I'm. Now I'm sorry I went.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey.

[May Martin]

When she said, I just take my tone down. Yeah, I'd like to take my tone down.

[Tig Notaro]

Here is the beauty of Meg is everything is. Is all right. You know, she can. She can work through it, make sense of things, and if she needs something different, she'll tell you, which is what she just shared. And it's. It kind of goes back to that idea of, like. Like talking to your kids after school. What was good, what was bad? Or just switch it up and say, what was your favorite moment of the day? Like, fortune was saying.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah. And to sort of what we were saying at the beginning of the episode of, like, with everything going on in the world, like, the magnitude of it saying, how are you? That image of a thimble at the mouth of a river is so good, because it's like, where do we start? Yeah, I guess I'm okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

My mom said that, too, about people lately asking her how she is and the how, how are you? She's had the hardest time answering. She's like, yeah, I'm not good. Yeah. But nobody wants to hear that. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Like, sometimes I like my friend who just lost her mom. Instead of saying, how are you? Or, you know, I'll. I'll say, I'm. I'm thinking about you.

[Tig Notaro]

And, yeah.

[May Martin]

Wondering what you need because. Because I know she's not doing well, so it's like, I don't want to make her even feel compelled to answer anything.

[Tig Notaro]

I remember when I was in my relationship with my girlfriend when I was ill and had lost my mother and stuff, and I'm so. I'm very close to my ex now, all these years later. I'm so thankful for that friendship. But I remember I. We were obviously so much younger then, but I was. I would get so mad when she would ask how I was doing, and I was just like, I can't eat food. My mother's dead. Like. Like, when that. When. When there's something new, I will tell you, you know? Like, I'm terrible. I'm terrible.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, and of course, she was just trying her best to connect and help, and it's so hard to know the right thing, but. And I'll tell you, I do feel like just that simple thing of listening to somebody, just being with somebody is so valuable. Just sitting and being with them. Just showing up to spend time, hear what they have to say. But it's very helpful to hear that from Meg, who is going through so much and also going through it in this publicly. Not just. Yeah, publicly, but also. She is just a real. I just always call her a freak of nature, but she really is because she's. Yeah. In the very best way. She's experiencing deep, deep trauma. And she's also applying these lessons that she learned through this experience with Andrea. And she's. I, I don't know. I'm just. I'm really in awe.

[Fortune Feemster]

And.

[Tig Notaro]

And yeah, I'm. I'm just. I. I think she's. She's just, she's doing.

[May Martin]

Her writing is beautiful as well, as you can tell from her question.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, she's a. She's a talent and she's a stellar human being and. And I'm thankful for her and for Andrea and the documentary and everybody. It's just been something. But.

[May Martin]

Anyway, this has been one of our most like, far reaching episodes. We really ran the gamut.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we really did it.

[Fortune Feemster]

Our randomness.

[May Martin]

Yeah. From emotion to pooh.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

I mean, that's what we bring to the table, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

And you know what else is. I guess we're just at a place where nobody even mentions that I have a mustache on today. Like, it's just.

[Fortune Feemster]

We only mention it in terms of you looking like a weatherman. Yeah, exactly.

[May Martin]

Which if people were just listening, they'd be like, huh. I just. As the episode wraps up, want to reiterate that a cool place to donate would be the state and local election alliance that is strategic in supporting the crucial, crucial local and state elections coming up. Because it's not hopeless. We can try and make democracy work still.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, here's something for you.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

You can check me out in. I'm going on tour. I'll be in Omaha February 22nd. Tucson, February 26th. I'll be in Santa Fe February 27th. The list goes on and on. I'[e-mail] all ticket and show information. And please, if you haven't seen the documentary, come see me in the Good light about Andrea Gibson and the exquisite Meg. Fantastic. Please go to Apple TV and check it out. It's just beautiful.

[Fortune Feemster]

I have a big show on Valentine's Day. I would love for any handsome folks to come to a New York City at the Beacon. So if you're looking for a fun Valentine's getaway, Join me in New York on February 13th.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

I'm in Ben Salem, Pennsylvania.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's my Philadelphia spot for that for this tour. And I had to reschedule some dates. Those have all been rescheduled and we'll be hitting those in the spring and early summer. And then I'll have like San Diego, Oklahoma City, Little rock and Fayetteville, Arkansas. So. So yeah, my website, FortuneFuture.com love it.

[May Martin]

I am. If you go to MayMartin.net you can see all my tour dates. I'm going all so soon. And on February 11, I'm at Largo and I'm going to try out the new show, most of it, and see how it sounds.

[Tig Notaro]

That's great.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Come check that out and you can watch Wayward on Netflix. That would be great.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And please share your favorite episodes of this show and make sure to subscribe and comment. And also go to YouTube, see our mustaches and our very handsome faces. And until next time, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, May Martin and Fortune Themster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] follow us on social media at handsomepod.

[Fortune Feemster]

What a podcast.

[May Martin]

What a podcast. That was a hitgum podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you have enough eggs and pancake mix for tomorrow, not so good. The problem with breakfast for dinner is that you can run out of ingredients for, well, breakfast.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American insurance company and affiliates.

[Fortune Feemster]

Northbrook, Illinois New Year same extra value meals at McDonald's. Now get a savory sausage McMuffin with egg plus hash browns and a small.

[May Martin]

Coffee for just $5 for limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery.