Melissa McCarthy & Ben Falcone ask about comedy bits

Summary

Handsome Podcast Episode Summary Title: Melissa McCarthy & Ben Falcone Ask About Comedy Bits
Host/Authors: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Release Date: November 19, 2024

---

I. Episode Overview

In this lively episode of Handsome, hosted by Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin, the trio delves into the intricacies of developing comedy bits. Invited guests Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone bring their seasoned comedic perspectives, sharing personal experiences and challenges they've faced in crafting memorable jokes. The episode is a blend of humorous anecdotes, interactive segments, and insightful discussions on the evolution of comedic material.

---

II. The Quest for the Perfect Comedy Bit

A. The Duct Tape Anecdote (00:10 - 05:06)

The conversation kicks off with the hosts humorously discussing everyday objects and their unexpected uses. Mae Martin introduces the versatility of duct tape, sparking a round of creative storytelling.

• Fortune Feimster shares her love for "littering" as a comedic act, recounting an incident during a family hike:

  "I take my to-go coffee cup... and I just toss my coffee cup on the ground."
  (00:09)

  This act is portrayed not as actual littering but as a deliberate comedic bit to startle and engage observers.

• Mae Martin adds a playful twist to the discussion by suggesting unconventional uses for common items, further emphasizing the creative process behind comedy.

B. Embracing Failure and Persistence (05:18 - 15:17)

The hosts delve into the importance of persistence in comedy, sharing personal failures that eventually led to successful bits.

• Fortune Feimster reflects on attempts to go viral for silly acts, illustrating the trial-and-error nature of humor:

  "I like littering in front of people... it's just a tig bit."
  (09:02)

• Tig Notaro introduces a comedic Mad Lib game later in the segment, highlighting the spontaneity and collaborative effort required in comedy writing.

---

III. Interactive Comedy: The Mad Lib Challenge (15:18 - 33:02)

One of the episode's highlights is the Mad Lib segment, where the hosts engage in a humorous exercise to create a Thanksgiving-themed story.

• Mae Martin, Fortune Feimster, and Tig Notaro input random words, leading to a hilariously nonsensical narrative:

  "One of the best parts of Thanksgiving is having pie for dessert. My favorites are brisket and Secretary of State pie... It tastes so sneaky."
  (31:39)

• The activity underscores the playful and improvisational side of comedy, showcasing how unexpected combinations can generate laughter.

---

IV. Guest Segment: Melissa McCarthy & Ben Falcone (33:02 - 57:10)

A. Introduction and Personal Stories (33:02 - 49:43)

Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone join the hosts to discuss their own experiences with developing challenging comedy bits.

• Melissa McCarthy shares her struggle with a long joke about underappreciated women, highlighting the meticulous effort required to refine a comedic narrative:

  "It took, like, eight or nine times. But it's all about these badges and women being underappreciated and all this crazy stuff."
  (54:20)

• Fortune Feimster reveals her own journey in perfecting a bit about infants taking showers, emphasizing the importance of visual humor even in an audio format:

  "There was, like, nothing funnier to me than opening a shower curtain and seeing a wobbly baby... taking a shower."
  (39:15)

These anecdotes provide listeners with an insider's look into the resilience and creativity necessary for successful comedy.

B. Overcoming Creative Blocks (49:43 - 57:10)

The discussion shifts to overcoming creative blocks and the iterative process of joke refinement.

• Tig Notaro narrates her experience with a "tailor Dane bit," illustrating how perseverance can turn a simple idea into a well-received joke:

  "I kept adding like a sentence at a time... until it became one of my best bits."
  (49:39)

• Mae Martin touches on unintentional joke overlaps, highlighting the challenges of maintaining originality:

  "I was like, 'fuck. I could like, yeah, I fully stole it without knowing.'"
  (45:43)

These stories underscore the unpredictable nature of comedy and the continuous effort required to produce authentic and engaging material.

---

V. Concluding Insights and Promotions (57:10 - End)

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts and guests share final thoughts on the comedic journey and promote their respective projects.

• Tig Notaro announces her upcoming Netflix special, Crushing It, expressing excitement about her new material:

  "What a podcast."
  (57:40)

• Fortune Feimster discusses her ongoing projects, including filming Star Trek and performing at comedy bars, emphasizing her dedication to evolving her craft:

  "I'm still out in Toronto filming Star Trek and will be through February."
  (58:28)

• Mae Martin invites listeners to her performances at Largo, hinting at future collaborations and special guest appearances:

  "I really can imagine it. I really want to."
  (59:03)

The episode wraps up with a heartfelt appreciation for the listeners, encouraging them to stay tuned for future content and to continue supporting the comedic endeavors of all involved.

---

Notable Quotes

• Fortune Feimster (09:02):
  "Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds."

• Mae Martin (27:10):
  "This is just for May."

• Melissa McCarthy (54:50):
  "Finally, I still remember feeling like I'd done a man."

• Fortune Feimster (39:15):
  "There was, like, nothing funnier to me than opening a shower curtain and seeing a wobbly baby... taking a shower."

---

Conclusion

This episode of Handsome offers a deep dive into the creative processes behind comedy, enriched by the experiences of both established and emerging comedians. Through personal stories, interactive games, and genuine conversations, Tig, Fortune, Mae, Melissa, and Ben illuminate the joys and challenges of crafting humor. Listeners are left with a greater appreciation for the art of comedy and the relentless passion that drives its practitioners.

Transcript

[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Like you know how to check to make sure there's a pool to tread water in before you book a hotel?

[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

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[Technotaro]

Cheers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cheers. Hey, it's your friend Technotaro and your.

[Technotaro]

Friend May and your friend Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you're listening to the Handsome podcast.

[Technotaro]

Oh yeah, baby. The band's back together.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[Technotaro]

Looking as handsome as ever.

[May Martin]

Yeah, looking very handsome. Both of you in collars, collared shirts.

[Technotaro]

You noticed May.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you May in a hoodie. What's the special occasion?

[Technotaro]

Sexy hoodie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Yeah, I actually have a full. I'm. I'm wearing the jumpsuit that I wore in army of the Dead.

[May Martin]

Oh, no way.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it's the full.

[Technotaro]

Yeah, let's see it. Oh, whoa. My loins are feeling things. Your cooter.

[Fortune Feimster]

Big Fortune. Marie, are you gonna.

[May Martin]

Are you going to keep any wardrobe from Star Trek? You can keep your.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. I think about shows like that where it's like, oh, Fortune. Go to YouTube right now. Go to YouTube and Finger.

[Technotaro]

I'm fingering the Star Trek Star Trek.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fortune's trying really hard to do Live long and prosper.

[Technotaro]

That salute.

[May Martin]

Wait, you can't do it, Fortune?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I mean, look at her. I barely can. Like, when I go through, you know, doing press for the show and everybody's doing that, I'll be like, oh, well.

[Technotaro]

You got, you got it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I, I, I do, but it takes me a beat to get there.

[Technotaro]

Do you think people have not gotten hired on that show because they can't do this?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Technotaro]

Like, is that part of your audition? Oh, wait, look. Oh, my God, you guys, look.

[May Martin]

There you go.

[Fortune Feimster]

YouTube. Go to YouTube. Seriously, go to YouTube. Oh, my God. You got to get rubber bands.

[May Martin]

Yeah, just get some duct tape.

[Fortune Feimster]

And do you know what's funny? Speaking of duct, T is my character from the old series that I did.

[Technotaro]

Star Trek Discovery, Janet Reno. No, that's not your character's name.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jet Reno. But I have a line where, because I'm an engineer and somebody does something and I say, I could fix that with duct tape. And so my character kind of is known for, you know, saying that and trying to fix things with little, you know, like, with my gum. I'll like MacGyver.

[May Martin]

I think that's, like a really Canadian quality. Duct tape is very versatile. You could fix a canoe. You could, you can make a wallet. That was the big thing in high school, making a wallet fully out of duct tape. Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, you know, I have to be honest, duct tape also has reached the States.

[May Martin]

Oh, wait.

[Technotaro]

In Canada, we love duct tape.

[May Martin]

Wait, why do. I thought, why did I think it was purely Canadian? It's not. Eh, no.

[Technotaro]

Eh, no.

[May Martin]

Whoa.

[Technotaro]

Have you seen all the kidnappers in the States with duct tape?

[May Martin]

You're right. You're so right, actually. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is such a funny thing that you thought you invented duct tape.

[May Martin]

I know. It's like, guys, you got to check this shit out.

[Technotaro]

Our greatest export, duct tape.

[May Martin]

What were we.

[Fortune Feimster]

What did you say about Star Trek? I felt like I was going to say something about, oh, keeping your costume. Oh, oh, right. Hm. Yes. No, I won't be keeping my costume.

[May Martin]

Good. I'm glad we.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I, I was thinking when I was on set the other day about how there are those types of TV shows where your wardrobe is not something that you ask if you can take home or if and anybody. The director's not like, hey, you know, on Little House on the Prairie, they weren't like, hey, you can take that bonnet home. Although I would love a bonnet.

[Technotaro]

You know, I love a bonnet.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Technotaro]

Can I take this nightgown.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. And this candle. But I did. I love the jumpsuit from army of the Dead.

[May Martin]

It really suits you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, thank you. And if you're not aware, I did go viral for being sexy.

[Technotaro]

Sexy.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. I don't mean to compete with you here, May, but I. Listen, Some people found me sexy during that window of time.

[May Martin]

I feel wildly unsexy at the moment.

[Technotaro]

Oh, really? I feel so sexy right now.

[May Martin]

I'm, like, ordering chicken nuggets at, you know, 3:00am I'm not in a sexy place. Hello.

[Technotaro]

Hello.

[May Martin]

Chicken nuggets at 3am Are you feeling sexy, Fortune?

[Technotaro]

Yeah, I sure am never feeling sexy. I'm always feeling silly. But I remember. I remember when Tig broke the Internet, it was. We were in the pandemic, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. You'd think it would have launched us out of the pandemic.

[Technotaro]

Yeah. The vaccine was coming on the heels of that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Technotaro]

But, yeah, we were all at home, collectively at home.

[Fortune Feimster]

While I was going viral.

[Technotaro]

You were going viral on the old Twitter.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Technotaro]

And Instagram.

[May Martin]

What was it like? Did someone call you up and say, tig, you're gone. You've gone viral?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, Stephanie and I were. We were in the editing bay for our movie. Am I okay? And my phone. Yeah. Starts going off. And I didn't know, or I forgot that the trailer came out.

[Technotaro]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And whatever it was, of not remembering or didn't know, I. Everybody was like, oh, my God, you're going viral for being sexy. For being sexy af. I think I told this story. And then I turned to Stephanie and I was like, I am so. I don't understand. People are texting me that I'm, like, viral for being sexy as af, is what I said.

[Technotaro]

Did you know what AF was?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. No. Had never heard of it in my life. And. And that's why I said to Stephanie, people are telling me I've gone viral for being sexy as af. And she said, oh, my God, it's not as af, it's sexy af. And she said, it's like saying you're. You've. You're sexy at. Wait, what is it? What is this?

[May Martin]

Sexy as a fuck?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah, something like that. I don't know. But I went viral in 2012 for being sickly. And then, whatever, 2022.

[May Martin]

So you've done sickly sexy. What's next? Silly.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. I love to go viral for silly.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

That would be good silliness, I'll be honest.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Start, like, go to some major event and throw a banana peel on a.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, let me write this down. This is a good one. That's a good idea. Hold on.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Go to the Olympics. Throw banana peel.

[May Martin]

Go to the Olympics. Slip on a banana peel and go. Boy.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do love. Now hear me out. I do love littering.

[Technotaro]

No, I do.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've been talking about this in my standup, but I like littering in front of people. But I'm not really littering. I like throwing. I like throwing trash down on the ground to see startle people. And so now that I have kids, they want me to litter. So we were on a hike. We were in the mountains on a hike, and they call me Mayor. And they were like, mayor, here come some people litter. And oh, my God. And so we're, like, in this pristine, just beautiful area, and I take my to go coffee cup that I'm carrying, and I'm like, oh, my God, guys, it is so beautiful out here. And then I just toss my coffee cup on the ground.

[May Martin]

Did they.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. People want to kill me. And then I act like. I act like it's because they shoot me this look that I pick up my trash. And then my favorite thing was, you know, when you're in the mountains, people are so healthy and active, and even elderly people are just out there trekking around. And. And so this is my absolute favorite. So my kids are like, mayor, here. Here comes somebody. And it's. This woman has to be in her 70s, just fit as a fiddle. And I do the same thing. I look around, and I mean, we're like. It's not like Runyon Canyon in Los Angeles. It's, like, packed full of people hiking around dog poop. It's like pristine beauty. Every now and then, someone passes you, okay, So I take my coffee cup and I go, guys, look at that mountain. And I just throw it. And the woman in her 70s, she goes, ha, that's funny. And points at me.

[May Martin]

What?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And I said, oh, my God, yes, it is. I'm joking. And I was like, I get it.

[Technotaro]

I get it. That was your ghost of Christmas Future.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, that's incredible. Old bat love that.

[May Martin]

You're gonna go viral for littering for sure.

[Technotaro]

I think so. That's what I was thinking, May. We're gonna open up an app, and it's gonna be like, comedian Tig Notaro litter litters.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, and I littered one. I was with Kristin Schall, you know, the comedian Kristen Schall. We went to a Tegan and Sarah concert, and there were 10 billion lesbians in line to get in.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I littered right there in front of them.

[May Martin]

Oh. Just to see them lose their minds.

[Fortune Feimster]

They all got whiplash. Just cardinals swinging their heads around like.

[Technotaro]

A collective gas.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Yeah. We almost lost 10 billion lesbians. And I was on a flight and I sat next to Tegan and Sarah. It was one of the gayest moments that have ever happened. That's ever happened.

[Technotaro]

Gay flight.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I told them that I had been talking about them on stage and it was about this littering thing, how I littered at their concert. And keep in mind, I don't leave litter on the ground. I do it as a bit. It's a tig bit. As a t. Yeah, it's a tig bit. I like to shock.

[Technotaro]

Shock and awe.

[May Martin]

Ruffle feathers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Ruffle. Like, in a fun way. I'm having fun. And so did that woman. But, yeah, so I'm telling them. And it was so funny. Sarah Quinn of Tegan and Sarah, she is so. She was so uncomfortable. And she was telling me how she loves when people do uncomfortable things, but she cannot.

[May Martin]

Like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like when she thinks about doing anything like that. It just.

[Technotaro]

Ooh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I was like, I'm here for you. I will do this. This is my job in the universe.

[Technotaro]

You're going to sit in that uncomfortability and draw it out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Technotaro]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do love to litter.

[May Martin]

My favorite thing that maybe you'd enjoy this one is like, if you're sitting near a window or actually you don't have to be by window, but ask someone for a piece of gum and then they go all through their bag and they're rifling through and they dig out the gum and take some ages. And as soon as you get it, you just throw it away. Like, throw it out the window or just. It's really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm happy to do that.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what I never got to do?

[Technotaro]

What are y'all doing to people over there?

[Fortune Feimster]

Because there's not video stores anymore, Right? You can't really rent videos. I always wanted to rent a bunch of videos and then immediately return them in front of the people that. Just. Because there was a video store near my house that had the Dropbox right at the end of the counter. And so I. Yeah, I wanted to rent like five movies and then just drop them in the return thing and then just walk out the door.

[May Martin]

I love that.

[Fortune Feimster]

One more thing I have to tell you. Yeah, This I want to do so desperately, but it is a Form of littering that is delayed. It is delayed littering. Okay. And that is when you set a balloon free. Yeah, that's just litter, like, one town over.

[Technotaro]

You know, it's going to go in the ocean somewhere.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. But here is my big dream. I want to go to Disneyland with my family.

[Technotaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you know those people that are holding those balloons that have Mickey Mouse in the balloons?

[Technotaro]

Those $50 balloons?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. I want to buy the whole bundle. I want to be like, how much for all of them? And buy all. The entire bundle of.

[Technotaro]

They're like $10,000.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Buy the bundle and then just stare them in the face and let them go. Just let them go right there. I want to do it.

[Technotaro]

Look at you, you prankster.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want to do that.

[May Martin]

What about bringing a pair of scissors to Disney and just walking down the main strip just snipping everybody's balloon strings?

[Technotaro]

What's happening with you two today?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think we could get through security in their Security at Disneyland.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's true.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's true. Yeah. It'd be like, I'm gonna bring a butcher's knife.

[Technotaro]

Look who's joined us. Hi, Biggie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, precious animal. Oh, my God. I gave Biggie a kiss from my office in Los Angeles.

[Technotaro]

Did I?

[Fortune Feimster]

Did I just went, oh.

[Technotaro]

He's like, what's up. There he is up close.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. Look at him.

[Fortune Feimster]

Biggie, go to our YouTube channel right now and see Biggie's dead eyes. That is the epitome. That is what Biggie. Biggie has dead eyes, and they light.

[Technotaro]

Up when he sees a carrot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Barely.

[Technotaro]

Or food. His toy carrot. Or food.

[Fortune Feimster]

And the eyes, that's the charm.

[May Martin]

Yeah, simple life.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Just dead eyes.

[Technotaro]

If you guys came to my home, he is a lot more animated.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't need it.

[Technotaro]

Well, not in this moment on my desk, but, like, downstairs.

[May Martin]

Yeah, he's in your home right now.

[Technotaro]

I know, but, like, playing. And you'll see the. The.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would love to see him playing with dead eyes.

[Technotaro]

No, Tig, his eyes are full of life.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's his charm.

[Technotaro]

Well, because he's like, what are you doing to me right now? Why are you putting me up in the zoom? He knows what a zoom is, and he has no interest in it.

[Fortune Feimster]

My cat knows what sunshine is. Every morning when I come down, Fluff will meow at me and I'll say, fluff, where's your sunshine? Where's your sunshine? And she goes over and she. She lays down. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

[May Martin]

Like you know how to check that you have your handsome coffee before you head to work?

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Check in first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary terms apply Allstate Firing Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois the holiday season is starting and it's easy to fall off my routine this time of year. That's why I decided to add AG1 to my routine and right now AG1 is running a special Black Friday offer for all of November. AG1 is a Daily health drink packed with nutrients to help alleviate bloating, support, sustain energy and whole body health.

[Fortune Feimster]

I recommend AG1 to everyone I meet. I drink it in the morning, I feel a boost in energy without any jitters and it's just an all around great, healthy start to the day.

[May Martin]

So this holiday season, try AG1 for yourself or even gifted to someone else. It's the perfect time to focus on supporting your body with an easy and surprisingly delicious daily health drink. That's why I'm so excited to be partnering with them. Every week of November, AG1 will be running a special Black Friday offer for a free gift with your first subscription in addition to the welcome kit with vitamin D3 and K2. So make sure to check out drinkag1.com handsome to see what gift you can get this week. That's drinkag1.com handsome to start your holiday season off to a healthier note while.

[Fortune Feimster]

Supplies last in a little sun patch in the kitchen and I pet her. It's so cute.

[Technotaro]

Oh, that is cute.

[May Martin]

Have you seen those things where it's like a pad with words and the dog can step on the words to communicate and it's like take me outside or it's like I want toy and the dog is basically making sentences.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is unnatural.

[Technotaro]

The dog is standing the door. Standing on a woman's pad.

[May Martin]

What? Fortune.

[Technotaro]

Like a tampon pad?

[May Martin]

Yeah. The dog is standing on pads are not.

[Fortune Feimster]

You sound like a man Fortune. You do.

[Technotaro]

You're like, no, I know what a tampon is, but I'm saying like the adjacent version of the tampon. The pad.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yo, bro, you mean like a tampon.

[Technotaro]

Pad with those pads? His giant pads with the wings?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Technotaro]

My chick wears those. Can I reveal a secret? Biggie's very familiar with pads because he has one in his diaper.

[May Martin]

What? Wait a second.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why does he have a diaper?

[Technotaro]

Yeah you're making me reveal all of Biggie's secrets.

[May Martin]

I don't think anyone made you.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, you really wedged it in there.

[Technotaro]

Twist my arm, I'll tell you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Technotaro]

Biggie has a. What's called a belly band. And it's a diaper that goes around this back section here of a male dog. And it's a. It's a diaper. And so because, you know, male dogs like to mark everywhere. And so if we don't want Biggie to mark, if we take him somewhere we don't want him to mark, we put a belly band on them. It's essentially a diaper, but we put a woman's pad in there.

[May Martin]

The indignity.

[Fortune Feimster]

You don't even have to say woman's pad. It's like, that's like when a guy will say, I am a male nurse. It's like, okay, but wait.

[Technotaro]

Well, he's got a pad in there. And so we go to the dollar store to get him his pads.

[May Martin]

But is the diaper not enough? Like he needs a diaper and a woman's pad.

[Technotaro]

The diaper is.

[Fortune Feimster]

She wants to humiliate him more.

[Technotaro]

Yeah, the diaper is enough, but you just have to wash them a lot more frequently. But I have been in an airport holding his belly band with a woman's pad or pad just flowing in the.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wind with the help of a male nurse.

[Technotaro]

Looks like I'm just holding a pad in the airport and oh my God, we were like, you psycho. Yeah, he. He is well potty trained, so it doesn't need it often. It's more in just new places where I'm bored. You stop. So, yeah, anyway, pads, Women's. Speaking of pads, it makes me think of the word mad, which makes me think of the word mad lib.

[May Martin]

Oh, don't.

[Technotaro]

Another great transition, right?

[May Martin]

How good? The response to our mad lib was electric.

[Technotaro]

It was electric, May. You knew what the people wanted.

[May Martin]

I'm so pleased that people.

[Fortune Feimster]

We'll have to do it at a live show sometime.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. I didn't know how much I would be delighted. I was like giddy from it. I got high from it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Technotaro]

I'll tell you the thing. People didn't like May.

[May Martin]

What?

[Technotaro]

They didn't like that we didn't give you a chance to do one.

[May Martin]

But I got a lot of joy out of giving it to you guys. I'm a very generous lover.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we can say that. May has given it to us.

[Technotaro]

Yeah, you gave it to us so good.

[May Martin]

I'm a Giver.

[Technotaro]

And you're such a giver. Well, Thanksgiving is upon us.

[Fortune Feimster]

My favorite holiday.

[May Martin]

Is it really?

[Technotaro]

Is it your favorite holiday?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Stunned faces.

[Technotaro]

I love it too.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love it so much. I love food and friends and family bringing their little weird dishes and.

[May Martin]

Little weird dishes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I mean, I'd come by and.

[May Martin]

Be like, I brought one shrimp, I forgot.

[Technotaro]

May, do you go to visit your American friends? Thanksgivings.

[May Martin]

I've never. I mean, I did a Canadian Thanksgiving type of thing here.

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

This year. I'm not sure when is it again.

[Technotaro]

November 29th or something.

[Fortune Feimster]

The last Thursday. Yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna get off work because I'm working in Canada.

[Technotaro]

Oh, right.

[Fortune Feimster]

They don't celebrate it, so I might be working on my favorite holiday.

[Technotaro]

Yeah, I think it might be my favorite holiday too, because really just all the food and. And you're giving thanks, saying what you're grateful for.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. When we took Max and Finn to Austin one year, we spent Thanksgiving, we have, on my, my stepfather's side of the family, all boys. Like, I think it was like 15 boys had been born, not one girl until my brother just had a girl like a year ago. So we were all there and giving thanks for whatever going around the table. And Max and Finn were three at the time. And when we got to them, I think one of them said, monster trucks.

[May Martin]

That's what they're grateful for.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thankful for monster trucks. As everybody's like, you know, I'm so thankful for my health and what I got through last year. And we will miss this person and that person. And then monster trucks. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I went to an ex's Thanksgiving once with her whole family. I hadn't met her family yet. And we're all sitting around and they're, you know, the great grandmother goes, you know, for these and all his mercies, God's holy name be praised. Amen. We all say it and then it goes to. And then this two year old angel, sweet child, is just like babbling away and then starts going around the table and going like she's been kind of eyeing me up. And then she's going, well, Lindsay's a girl, Mommy's a girl, Daddy's a boy. And I'm like, here we go. And there's all these like, grandparents, great grandparents. And everyone's silent. And then gets to me is like, grandma's a girl. And then points at me and goes, what's may?

[Fortune Feimster]

And what did you answer?

[May Martin]

I was like, well, you know, it's a spectrum.

[Fortune Feimster]

So everyone at the table had that accent.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Yeah. I was like, wow. For this and all his mercy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you good at. You know, Stephanie's really good at saying prayers.

[Technotaro]

Oh, really?

[May Martin]

I kind of clam up. I get. Everyone expects, like, do you find this, like, expects you to be good at toasts and things because you do comedy?

[Fortune Feimster]

She doesn't do it in a real way.

[May Martin]

She.

[Fortune Feimster]

She can do it, like. Like, she's a. A pastor who just breaks into prayer out of nowhere.

[Technotaro]

Who are in heaven. Well, hallowed be thy name.

[Fortune Feimster]

No. Like, she can rip thy kingdom come.

[Technotaro]

Whoa.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, free form.

[Technotaro]

I will be done.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, like, totally.

[May Martin]

Give thanks for the spirit of the Lord pouring down upon us.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Like, when you do a show with her again, a live show, ask her to do a free form prayer, you will die laughing.

[May Martin]

I will.

[Technotaro]

Can she do this? The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord lift his head to shine upon you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thankfully not. Thankfully not.

[May Martin]

I feel like if you had been in your prime in, like, the 1930s or 40s, you would have had an unironic career as a singer.

[Technotaro]

Like a chamber singer, A housewife. I would have been the spinster that sings at church.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, you would have been married and spent your whole life thinking something feels off.

[Technotaro]

Yeah, I feel different. But I sing to the Lord.

[Fortune Feimster]

Keep going. Keep going.

[Technotaro]

And all is good. That's it.

[May Martin]

Wait, are we going to do it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, let's do it.

[Technotaro]

Who's ready? This is a Mad Lib called oh, My Thanksgiving Pie.

[Fortune Feimster]

And this is just for May.

[Technotaro]

It's you, May, and you. Perfect. I'll let you know whose turn it is. All right, you ready?

[May Martin]

Yes. I'm already, like, giggling.

[Technotaro]

Are you ready for the Lord? Lord?

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, I'm still preparing.

[Technotaro]

One of the best parts of Thanksgiving is fortune. Fortune. So you just ask for a noun.

[May Martin]

Like, you don't tell them the Thanksgiving.

[Technotaro]

Oh, God.

[May Martin]

Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, you have to keep that in Thomas.

[May Martin]

Please keep that in you guys.

[Technotaro]

That you just started to know what matters.

[Fortune Feimster]

Now you've proven it.

[Technotaro]

And I'm like, why do I need to know this when I know about the Lord? It's hard to read. Okay, May, give me a noun.

[May Martin]

Brisket.

[Technotaro]

All right, Tig, give me another noun.

[Fortune Feimster]

Secretary of State.

[Technotaro]

God, that took forever.

[Fortune Feimster]

But it was worth it.

[Technotaro]

Meg, give me. Give me another noun.

[May Martin]

Butt plug.

[Technotaro]

Whoa.

[Fortune Feimster]

Classic.

[Technotaro]

Give me an adjective.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fluffy.

[Technotaro]

Okay, May, Another noun.

[May Martin]

Water wings.

[Technotaro]

Okay. Wow. This is going to be a real treat. Tig, give me a family member. Any family member.

[Fortune Feimster]

Godfather.

[Technotaro]

Good one.

[May Martin]

Can I replace water wings?

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Technotaro]

Okay, the ad lib police. Mad lib police. May, give me an adjective.

[May Martin]

Slippery.

[Technotaro]

Tay. Give me a plural noun.

[Fortune Feimster]

A plural noun. How about.

[Technotaro]

I'm bored.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's my joke. A plural noun. Jellybeans.

[Technotaro]

Sure, bud. Another noun. May.

[May Martin]

Mystery.

[Technotaro]

Take. Give us an adjective.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why don't I ever get nouns?

[May Martin]

Dude, all you got was nouns in the beginning.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sneaky.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's good.

[Technotaro]

All right, May, give us another family member.

[May Martin]

Uncle. Actually, I'll say ankle. Isn't that like the non binary version of uncle and aunt? Ankle.

[Technotaro]

I know. I think that's a part of your foot.

[May Martin]

Right? I'm gonna go with ankle, though.

[Technotaro]

It's an aunt. Uncle. Uncle. Aunt.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it's like a non binary and uncle. Well, I've made it up, but I think that's what it is.

[Technotaro]

Okay, what's that say? A number. Can you read that? Thomas?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

I thought you guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is a nightmare.

[Technotaro]

How dare you.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is a nightmare.

[Technotaro]

If I. If I could show you this picture of this mad lib. It's so blurry.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you know people have paid Verb Good money to listen to this free podcast?

[Technotaro]

Give us a verb.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is a verb again?

[Technotaro]

Dumb.

[May Martin]

Like. Like an action word.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Remember, I'm the one without an education. I have a seventh grade education.

[Technotaro]

We're all like, wait, what's an adjective? Verb.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hop. Is that a verb?

[May Martin]

Yeah, hop.

[Fortune Feimster]

Get off my ass. Get.

[Technotaro]

Eat my ass. Noun. May.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, there you go.

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Gouda.

[Technotaro]

Gouda. Okay, take a number.

[Fortune Feimster]

88. My favorite one.

[Technotaro]

May. An adjective.

[May Martin]

Yeah, an adjective.

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Whiny.

[Technotaro]

Take a family member.

[Fortune Feimster]

Godmother.

[Technotaro]

A. May. Another noun.

[May Martin]

Jockstrap.

[Technotaro]

Take a plural noun.

[Fortune Feimster]

Singers.

[Technotaro]

And lastly, may a noun.

[May Martin]

Ooh.

[Tig Notaro]

Who?

[Technotaro]

You said it. All right. Now what? Now what happens now?

[Fortune Feimster]

We read it and we laugh.

[Technotaro]

Now, this story, it's a. This is a mad lib.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it true?

[May Martin]

Is it a true story?

[Technotaro]

It's a true. It's a based on a true story. Some of the names of our people have been changed to protect their identities. But this is called. Oh, my Thanksgiving Pie. Hold on to your panties.

[May Martin]

I'm so excited.

[Technotaro]

You ready?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we're ready.

[Technotaro]

1. One of the best parts of Thanksgiving is having pie for dessert. My favorites are brisket and Secretary of State pie, though I know lots of people like butt plug pie and even fluffy water wings pie. My godfather makes their own pie crust using slippery jelly beans and mystery. And it tastes so sneaky. Ankle pops pies in the Gouda for 88 minutes and it comes out smelling whiny. I like to have Godmother's jockstrap pie with vanilla singers on top or fresh whipped poo.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I'm sorry, it's godmother's what pie.

[Technotaro]

Cause I'm gonna make Godmother's jockstrap pie.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm making that a yearly tradition with my family.

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh my God.

[Technotaro]

You have to hop a pie in Gouda for eight minutes to make it.

[May Martin]

That one was all recipes. That was really.

[Technotaro]

What a mad lib.

[May Martin]

What a mad lib.

[Tig Notaro]

The fall is such a handsome season. Getting cozy, gathering with friends and family, maybe doing some apple picking or pumpkin carving. Another thing I'm excited about is ditching the shorts and flip flops and upgrading to a comfy and fashionable cashmere sweater from Quint.

[May Martin]

Quint offers affordable, high quality essentials for any wardrobe. That includes seasonal must haves like featherless quilted long puffer jackets for 99.90. Quint only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices along with premium fabrics and finishes. And they partner with them directly, cutting out the cost of the middleman and passing the savings on to you. I got a Mongolian cashmere crew neck sweater from Quint. It's the best sweater I own. You'd never know I only paid 50 bucks for it.

[Tig Notaro]

Upgrade your wardrobe with pieces made to last with quint. Go to quint.comhandsome for free shipping on your order and 33065 day returns. That's Q U I N C E dot com handsome to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com handsome if you're ever worried about.

[Fortune Feimster]

The safety of your home and family, there's no better time to act. Right now you can get 60% off a new Simplisafe security system. Their best deal of the year. Simplisafe is the home security I trust. I love the peace of mind it brings knowing my home is protected 24. 7 our listeners can get 60% off today just by visiting simplisafe.com handsome I.

[Tig Notaro]

Love SimpliSafe because it makes me feel confident my home is protected. It's not just technology. Their active guard outdoor protection includes live monitoring agents who can prevent crime before it even happens. Plus there are no long term contracts, no cancellation fees and it's around a dollar a day for all this prot.

[May Martin]

Simplisafe is offering our listeners exclusive early access to their Black Friday sale this week only. You can get 60% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. This is their best Offer of the year. Head to simplisafe.com handsome. That's simplisafe.com handsome. There's no safe like simplisafe.

[Technotaro]

What a mad lib, man. I'm so glad you got to participate.

[May Martin]

To be honest, I realized I like being in control more.

[Technotaro]

We have discovered something. Well, the next time we do a mad library, you're in charge, boss. For all our handsome listeners, Dom. You're welcome. Mason and Dom take and I, we're gonna be topped from the bottom.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not playing next time.

[May Martin]

Yeah, next time. Take a look. I'll get a coffee.

[Technotaro]

All right.

[May Martin]

Well, that was great.

[Technotaro]

The only thing left to do is go to our today's questionnaire.

[Fortune Feimster]

We teed that up perfectly.

[Technotaro]

Today's questioners are a married couple who have brought you films like Thunder Force, Life of the party, and Tammy. One of them is Oscar nominated for her role for her roles in Bridesmaids and can you ever forgive me? They have a new podcast called Hildy, the barback and the lake of fire, in which Melissa stars as Hildy, an unlikely hero from the land of Golgorath.

[May Martin]

That sounds right up my street.

[Technotaro]

I know, right?

[May Martin]

I love that. Yeah. Hildy from Golgorath.

[Technotaro]

I'm.

[May Martin]

I'm in.

[Technotaro]

Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone are asking today's questions.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nice.

[Technotaro]

Oh, man, Melissa. I love Ben and Melissa. I've known Ben and Melissa both for many, many years from the Groundlings.

[May Martin]

Oh, really?

[Technotaro]

Yeah. They were both in main company, and as I was coming up, I would watch them both in these shows at the theater. And then Melissa started doing Gilmore Girls and was really busy and. But Ben was. Started directing a bunch of shows, and everyone that had him as a director just loved, love, love Ben. So obsessed. And was he a teacher too? He was a teacher, too. And Melissa would come back, and I remember she had a bunch of wigs and like, oh, my God, stage glasses and jewelry. And she's like, if anybody needs any of this, you know, And I was like, oh, my God. Because that stuff was so expensive. And so we were like, yes, this is awesome. And she would come watch shows, and both are just so lovely, but so funny. Her role in Bridesmaids, I forgot that.

[May Martin]

She got nominated for an Oscar for that, as she should. Like, I just saw a clip of it where she meets Kristen Wiig for the first time, and she's like. And she questioned me, goes, hey, how are you? And she goes, well, I'm on the mend, and it's just like, you know people like that who open. She's like, I took a hard, violent fall off a cruise ship. So good.

[Technotaro]

Oh, so good.

[May Martin]

I met her once. I was having dinner with Lisa Kudrow, and they know each other, and they bumped into each other, and I was, like, vibrating at the table. I couldn't. Yeah, but she was so nice and funny and warm.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. She's.

[Technotaro]

She's the best.

[Fortune Feimster]

She is speechlessly funny. Like, yeah, good people always just trying.

[Technotaro]

To make people laugh and do good things and haven't succeeded yet, but good luck to them.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wish them the best.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Hello, handsome.

[May Martin]

This is Melissa McCarthy.

[Melissa McCarthy]

This is Ben Falco. We're so excited about our podcast. Hildi the Barback and the Lake of Fire. We're shaking fire. We're so excited. So subtle. Well, yeah.

[May Martin]

But we also have a question.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We do. What is the trickiest bit? Joke story. Something that you had to, like, work and rework, but you knew. You knew it was there. You knew there was something to it, but you had to, like, battle it to the ground. That's just our neighbor who's building a house. Don't worry about it.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Technotaro]

That is so funny. A comedic bit that you had to work.

[May Martin]

Something that you knew you were like. The conviction that it was funny was so profound, and it just was not working. That's a great question.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, so. Oh, I'm sorry I missed that. And it. And does it not ever work, or does it finally work out?

[Technotaro]

I think it finally works. Right?

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay. Okay.

[May Martin]

Could do.

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I feel like for myself, I've had so many of those, I don't even know where to begin. Just that out on a ledge, feeling where you're like, this is a real leap here. Yeah. I had this concept of thinking it was really funny. You know, you, of course, see babies taking baths, but I thought it would be so funny to see an infant taking a shower.

[Technotaro]

What?

[Fortune Feimster]

I just.

[May Martin]

Okay, talk us through it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, that's really. It.

[Technotaro]

I.

[Fortune Feimster]

It really. There was, like, nothing funnier to me than opening a shower curtain and seeing a wobbly baby that doesn't even know, like, can barely stand, is in a shower, taking and being like. But just being like, no, like, really unstable, wobbly, you know, because they. They can't really. They can't really stand or walk very well, but yet they're standing there taking a shower. To me, that concept was really funny. And I see it's really tickling both of you now.

[Technotaro]

Has it? Yeah. Has it worked yet?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, it's Long, long past. It was on my first album called Good One and it made it onto an album. Yeah, yeah, because I do an act out.

[Technotaro]

I do an act and the crowd went wild.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I mean, I do it. It wasn't a tape special. It was years ago where it was just an audio album. But. But yeah, I. I really believed in this bit. And then, and then I. I act out the. The awkward unstable infant actually showering.

[Technotaro]

Well, that part's probably funny, which it's a shame it's on an audio.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because I'm like seeing you wobble as an infant. As an infant.

[May Martin]

I wish I could see it in your mind. See how you're like, see the infant in the shower in your mind. Because I bet it's like the specific shower and the specific.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, also just seeing the little fat baby thighs and legs and you know, the creases of fat on like an infant. It's just so cute to like picture that little unstable chubby body with lit. And in the bit I say with stupid little 2 inch feet. So like, I like. You have barely anything to stand on to support that body, you know?

[May Martin]

Little two inch feet. I like as a phrase a lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I like the idea of seeing infants in incongruous situations. Like a, Like a, A baby in a suit working in an office is. That's good to me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, yeah, and that's the. What begins today is the infant takes a shower.

[May Martin]

Right, right, right. Okay. Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, it took me a while to get that.

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But that's the, that's the fun of it all. Of like as a comedian, you're trying. You have your ideas and your concepts, your jokes, your thoughts and feelings. And then you have to. When they're a little weird like that, you gotta get the masses on board. You have to get that to translate. And that's like such a fun leap.

[May Martin]

I can think of two small things. One was when we were making feel good. It was in my head it was really funny that my roommate was. He's from la, but he always says he's from Hollywood. And then that the. My British girlfriend gets really shy every time she says the word Hollywood. Like she thinks she can't. She's not allowed to say it even. And so she's. No one liked it. The crew didn't like it. The director didn't get why it was funny. The actors were like, where's the joke here? And the line was just her going, well, you'd understand, Phil, because you're from. And then him going, you can say it. Hollywood. No one thought it was funny, but I was like, that's funny. A British person being shy to say Hollywood. I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, it must be very directed to some sort of feeling or thought that you have around Hollywood.

[Technotaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Which is what?

[May Martin]

Maybe it's like embarrassing to say. Like you would never say, like, I live in Tinseltown. Like, yeah, you say, I live in Los Angeles, you know, I say the biz. The biz. Okay.

[Technotaro]

Someone asked me Bloomingdale's the other day where what I did for a living. And I said, I work in the biz.

[May Martin]

Oh my God. And they were like, what biz?

[Technotaro]

They had no. Not one follow up question. I'm dealing with a crazy person.

[Fortune Feimster]

My friend. When I. I moved to LA with some childhood friends and like maybe two days after we got to la, my friend Leslie goes to order a pizza for us and she's on the phone with the. The person taking the order. This is how long ago it was that we moved. That you actually call and talk to a person to order pizza and don't you do it all online now?

[Technotaro]

And mostly except for some Thai places.

[Fortune Feimster]

So Leslie calls to order us a pizza. And then the woman asks what Leslie's address is and what part of town she's in. That's what it was. And Leslie goes. And she earnestly felt this way. Like she goes, hollywood. Because we had only lived in town like three days and to her it was just like, whoa, we live here. Hollywood.

[May Martin]

The other one is this stand up bit I was doing pretty recently, like a couple years ago about bees communicating through the power of dance and things. I was doing this bit in England and it was like, I was like, this is like a really well structured joke. And it was always bombing, like just there were these sort of chuckles. I was like, what's going on? And then finally someone shouted out, that's an Eddie Izzard bit. And I was like, what? And. And then it was a bit that I have seen from one of his specials that I loved when I was about 13, 14, and my brain just. It was almost verbatim.

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[May Martin]

It was really scary because I was like, fuck. I could like, yeah, I fully stole it without knowing. And I was like, oh, my God. This just came to me so fully formed.

[Technotaro]

This is like, it's wild.

[May Martin]

I was so embarrassed. I was like, like, thank you for saying something finally. Like, what must people think he's. Or she is so famous in.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is the bit I want to. I'M looking for new material.

[Technotaro]

I don't know this bit.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. But I need a closer for my new hour.

[May Martin]

You gotta try the B bit. Try Eddie's be bit. It's. It's just that bees communicate through dance and I can't remember what. Oh, yeah. And then how depressing it would be if they have to communicate something sad and they're like, like, oh, Stephen died or whatever. But they're.

[Technotaro]

I don't know.

[May Martin]

Because they do communicate through dance. Did you know that?

[Technotaro]

I did not know that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I had heard it through Eddie, but. Yeah.

[May Martin]

How embarrassing though. Like, what if Eddie got wind that I was just verbatim just doing this.

[Technotaro]

Doing this bit, Doing this bit.

[May Martin]

Oh, God. Isn't that terrifying when you don't know if, like, we don't know if we steal something.

[Technotaro]

I mean, that is a. So much stuff is coming in and out of people's ears and, and eyes these days that you are like, is this a unique thought or did I hear this?

[Fortune Feimster]

But that's why it's always, like helpful when you use personal stories because, yeah.

[May Martin]

You know, you know what, I learned my lesson because that's like one of the only observational bits I've ever done. And I was like, oh, wow. It's also from one of my favorite comedians from one of my favorite specials, like, how is my brain just corroded? And Swiss cheese.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, I'm pretty sure I would be a little suspicious if some. If you told me somebody was out there doing like a 15 minute long tailor Dane bit.

[May Martin]

Completely.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, you know.

[May Martin]

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

[Technotaro]

Something to tell you.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is it? Is it something about bees?

[Technotaro]

No, I've been doing a 15 minute tailor Dane bit and it's crushing. I guess. I have two. Two ones. One was a stand up thing and one was a groundlings thing and the stand up one was. Now, it's a bit that people often shout for me to do, but it took me a long time to figure out how to make it funny. But it started by me doing a. I was doing a show in my home in Charlotte, which is 30 minutes from my hometown, and someone in the audience was just like, remember when you were on the swim team? And I was like, I do remember that. And that was it. And I was like, yeah, I was on the swim team and I wasn't very good. And they were like, yeah, you weren't very good. And I was like, okay, calm down. And it made me remember that when I joined the swim team, I didn't know how to do the butterfly. So I would run across the pool and do the motions of the butterfly with my hands.

[May Martin]

But your feet were walking, walking.

[Technotaro]

And so they like the visual. They thought that was funny. But then I didn't know, I go, that's it. I don't know, you know what else to tell you about that. And I kept being like, there's something to that. Like that is funny. A funny visual. A kid can't swim, so they're running across the pool trying to do the butterfly with their hands. But I could not for like two years figure out how to turn it into a story. And I just, I was like, I'm not giving up on this story. And I just kind of kept adding like a sentence at a time of just like, I'm gonna keep telling this like boring story until it I can build, build it better. And then now and then it, at the end of that like two and a half year tour, it is one of my best bits.

[May Martin]

I love that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you did it.

[Technotaro]

I did it. You never know.

[Fortune Feimster]

We did it, we did it.

[Technotaro]

And then the growlings one was, I would always start with a wig that I thought was funny. And I was like, oh, this short gray haired wig is kind of like, I'm in, I like this and a sparkle jacket. And I was like, I'm gonna basic character just around this, like this outfit. And so I came up with a lounge singer. The Lord. And I was like, I don't know if this is like, could not. I just like, I know this is a funny look and a funny costume, but I don't know what she does other than she's a lounge singer. So I finally, I would kind of do it and there was like not much to it because just seeing a woman like that sing is kind of like, well, okay, but what, what about that is funny? Besides she just looks funny. So then I start, then I came up with a thing where she has a signature cocktail. And I would say, hello, my name is Tita Martin. I have a Sunrise Sunset signature cocktail named after me, Tita Martin. And then I would play piano. And then so the bit became over time that she would sing and then stop herself to say, I noticed nobody ordered my Tina Martin Sunrise Sunset ginger cocktail. That's okay, we've got time. And I would just keep coming back to this cocktail and I go. And I would say, well, maybe you need to know what's in it. And I'd be like, gin, vodka, tequila, sprite, cranberry juice, pomegranate seeds and a whole banana so it just became this stupid bit. But it. It ended up being funny, but by a lot of trial and error.

[May Martin]

I'd like to see it. When it was just singing, just singing the songs straight up, I would be.

[Technotaro]

Like, you are my sunshine My only sunshine.

[May Martin]

And that was it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what I would have done with her?

[Technotaro]

What?

[Fortune Feimster]

Since she was a lounge singer, I would have made her always lounging around.

[Technotaro]

Oh, yeah, that's fine.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just like when she, you know, she's singing as a lounge singer, but then when she's off stage, man, she is just lounging in the chairs, in the boobs backstage. I needed you lounging. Like, you can't stop this woman from lounging around.

[May Martin]

I have a character that nobody likes as well.

[Fortune Feimster]

Ooh, let's hear it.

[Technotaro]

Yeah, let's hear it.

[May Martin]

A character that nobody likes. It's basically a stand up comedian who after every punchline their bit is or their, like, catchphrase, I guess is they yawn as if they're bored. So they go. And that's why they call it fair play.

[Technotaro]

I don't know.

[May Martin]

After every punchline they go, I like it. Thanks.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I remember the first time I was doing tv, doing standup on tv. I was backstage getting ready to be called out and I just started yawning. I got so tired. And the producer was like, are you really this tired? And I was like, I think I don't know what's happening. But people told me later that that can happen with nerve.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That, like, you just kind of shut down.

[May Martin]

I used to yawn in doctor's offices a lot, you know, because I'd be nervous.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

But then would you ever have an observation that you think is universal and then it bombs?

[Fortune Feimster]

Because all the time.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Like, do you think that the only food that gets stuck in your kind of nasal cavity is carrot? Like when you're chewing a carrot and a little piece of carrot just flies up into your nasal cavity. That doesn't happen with any other food.

[Technotaro]

Thomas. Happen.

[Fortune Feimster]

I haven't either.

[May Martin]

Are you serious?

[Technotaro]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thomas, are you against one, if not three against one? I kind of know what you're saying.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think he does.

[Technotaro]

It's a Canadian feel Bad duct tape.

[May Martin]

It's a duct tape thing. But yeah, you don't. You've never had that thing where you're like, I think a bit of carrot is stuck in my nose.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't say no enough times. Yeah.

[Technotaro]

I'm gonna go with my original answer of no, never happened.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do love Carro.

[May Martin]

If you agree. Yeah, me too. Except I don't like the risk that I'm going to get a. I know. And no other food does that to me.

[Technotaro]

Interesting. Anyways, well, that's the end of this episode. Let's hear Melissa and Ben's answer.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right. Right.

[Technotaro]

I love their outfits, by the way. You'll have to go on YouTube to see these.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I know. Mine is. Was in the boss. There was one really long joke that my brain was ahead head of my mouth, and I kept saying, I know it, I know it. I can't. But I couldn't say it. And I kept, like, stuttering, stammering. It took, like, eight or nine times. But it's all about these badges and women being underappreciated and all this crazy stuff. And finally, finally, it worked out. And I still remember feeling like I'd done a man.

[May Martin]

Finally.

[Melissa McCarthy]

The elixir of profanity was just perfect. See, I stayed out of your way, too.

[May Martin]

Let you do it.

[Melissa McCarthy]

A lot of done work.

[Technotaro]

She just added. Added profanity. Is that what she said their neighbor's construction was?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Technotaro]

That house getting in the way of their. Of their punchline.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's hard to imagine, I think, that, you know, when somebody is just so outrageously funny as Melissa McCarthy, it is hard to be like, you struggled with anything.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anything. Like, anything. It seems impossible. Funny just runs through her bones. It's so crazy.

[May Martin]

And was she saying. It was a long phrase about women being underappreciated. Yeah. I'm into it.

[Technotaro]

I love it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mm.

[May Martin]

Do you ever bond with your kids, Tig? Were you really?

[Fortune Feimster]

All the time. That's the only thing I do is bond with them.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's so good. Like, when you really go out on a limb with something bold.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. That's my entire relationship with them. They look at me like I am the most annoying loser who shares a house with them. And I. I push. Like, every part of my personality as a comedian disappears when I'm around them. And, oh, my God, I push so hard. I am so desperate.

[Technotaro]

I will win them over.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God, that's so good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. I'm like. I try so hard so none of that dry.

[May Martin]

It's all like, hello, my darling.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hello, my darling. I love you.

[Technotaro]

Jesus, you got a treasure chest of props.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hey. And I'm just. I'm just disturbing them.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God, that's so funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. It's really wild where I have to.

[Technotaro]

Remind my professional comedians.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I do. I have to remind myself to just take a deep breath, chill out, just act normal.

[Technotaro]

If you build it, they will come.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. It's so interesting to see that side of me come out because it doesn't come out with anybody else aside from them. I want them to think I'm the funniest person and I. I don't trust myself. I don't trust that they will know that just by me being myself. But yet I trust it as I tour the world with strangers.

[May Martin]

That's amazing.

[Technotaro]

What a podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. What a podcast.

[Technotaro]

I would like to say mark your calendars. December 3rd. Okay. My Netflix special, Crushing It.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Technotaro]

Is premiering and I'm super pumped. I'm in a pink suit.

[May Martin]

Yes. I was going to say you teased that you were really happy with your outfit for it and I didn't know what it was and I sort of in my mind thought suit some kind. But it's electric. It's beautiful.

[Technotaro]

Thanks.

[May Martin]

Uplifting pink. It's so beautiful.

[Technotaro]

I'm so proud of this one. It's my third Netflix special. I just want people to watch it and enjoy, enjoy it. So I'll remind you on that week of. But yeah, well, mark your calendars.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm sure people are going to watch it and enjoy it and I cannot wait to see you looking handsome.

[Technotaro]

Thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I'm still out in Toronto filming Star Trek and will be through February, so check my website. I am doing two to three shows a week at Comedy Bar, working on that's cool new material. I mean, I basically live there, so check that out. And then I have, you know, sporadic dates here and there.

[May Martin]

You could come see me at Largo on December 4th. And Stephanie Allen will be doing improv and I'm going to try and get her to do a free form prayer.

[Fortune Feimster]

You have to.

[May Martin]

I really can imagine it. I really want to.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's good.

[Technotaro]

That is funny.

[May Martin]

And I've got great surprise guests. It's going to be super fun. And yeah, I'll be riding high off watching Fortune special.

[Technotaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Probably doing some of your jokes verbatim, please.

[Technotaro]

I have a whole new tour starting. I think it goes up on sale this week, so check out my Instagram for all those dates.

[Fortune Feimster]

Subscribe to the podcast and subscribe to our YouTube channel. That way you're not going to miss any biggie appearances.

[Technotaro]

That's right.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're not going to miss anybody going sexy viral, AF or whatever. But yeah, thanks for listening. And until next time, I mean, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, May Martin and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] follow us on social media at Handsome Pod what a podcast.

[May Martin]

What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Handsomes, the audio version of my comedy special hello Again is available everywhere. Just in time for the holidays. Go to tig notaro.com to get a copy for you and a loved one.

[May Martin]

Now some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking all state state first.

[Tig Notaro]

Like you know how to check the weather before you go sailing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary. Terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois.

[Technotaro]

Hey everyone, I'm Dan Licata.

[Ben Falcone]

And I'm Nick Nanny and we are.

[Technotaro]

The host of Chicken Padme John, now on Head Gum.

[Ben Falcone]

It's the very first podcast for and about Italian Americans.

[Technotaro]

That's right. But if you're not Italian American, you can listen to.

[Ben Falcone]

I guess I suppose we can let you in, cut you a deal. We're talking about all sorts of crazy topics on this who's a better cook, Nona or Mama?

[Technotaro]

Who you got in that fight? Nona or Mama?

[Ben Falcone]

I mean, I can't say bad about Nonar. I was. She smacked me across head. We got some great guests on the show. We got Wayne diamond, we got Edie Modica, we got Mike Hanford and our wife. Severely so. Subscribe to Chicken Parmesan on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Thursday.