Michael Urie asks about encounters with strangers

Summary

Handsome Podcast – Episode Summary

Episode: Michael Urie asks about encounters with strangers
Date: August 4, 2026
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Special Guest: Michael Urie

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Episode Theme/Overview

This heartfelt and humorous episode of Handsome centers on the question submitted by actor Michael Urie: “When was the time you met a stranger and remembered them forever?” The hosts and Michael delve into personal stories of serendipitous and impactful encounters with strangers—on planes, at shows, and in daily life—reflecting on empathy, connection, and the surprising ways brief interactions can leave a lifelong imprint.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Icebreaker and Banter (01:47–05:50)

• Playful discussion about snacks, live show outfits, and running into fans wearing podcast merch in unexpected places.
• The hosts joke about feeling like they’re in a Truman Show-esque world, with staged moments and planted fans.
• Anecdotes about recent birthdays, parties, and vacation experiences set a friendly and candid tone.

Notable Quote:
“I walked in and one of them had on a ‘keep it handsome’ sleeveless tee... Swear to goodness.”
— Tig Notaro (05:20)

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Outfits, Touring, and Live Shows (10:10–13:30)

• The cast reminisces about their mismatched outfits at a recent live show, the pressure of big venues, and the energy of live audiences.
• Humorous brainstorming about themed piñatas filled with signature items (Snickers for Fortune, broccoli sprouts for Tig, quinoa for Mae).

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Birthdays, Parties, and Community (13:53–17:15)

• Mae shares details about their Canada Day party, complete with Canadian snacks (ketchup chips, poutine, maple cookies), drawing murals of icons, and Alanis Morissette on the stereo.
• Fortune recounts a memorable birthday spa day and a thoughtful hotel surprise referencing her character in Zootopia 2.

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World Cup, Childhood, and Soccer Fandom (19:10–27:40)

• The group discusses their soccer obsessions, attending World Cup games, and kids’ enthusiasm for sports.
• Tig shares a story about children playing baseball with a dirt bike circling the diamond—an ode to rural childhood independence and community norms.

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On Difficult Topics – Athlete Misconduct (27:34–29:26)

• Mae raises the issue of sexual assault allegations involving prominent soccer players, reflecting on the lack of consequences for celebrity athletes.
• The hosts briefly discuss the emotional impact of injustice and how music (like Alanis’s) has served as an outlet for that anger.

Notable Quote:
“I think the reason I’m so drawn and attached to Alanis is that since long before we were all talking about this stuff, she was waving that flag.”
— Mae Martin (29:00)

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Main Topic: Stranger Encounters That Last Forever (31:12–63:32)

Michael Urie’s Question (31:33–32:03)

• Michael Urie asks:
  “When was the time you met a stranger and remembered them forever?”

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Tig Notaro’s Story (37:14–46:56)

• Story: Tig's recent flight next to an autistic child who self-soothed with music and movement, initially causing Tig irritation until the child explained, transforming the entire interaction.
• Tig is moved by the child’s honesty (“I don’t have any friends. People don’t like me, but I haven’t done anything wrong.”), regrets her own snap judgment, and leaves changed, reflecting on empathy.

Notable Quotes:

• “He said, ‘I don’t have any friends... I haven’t done anything wrong.’ And I was like, oh my God... I said, heartbreaking, you have not done anything wrong. I almost gave him my phone number in that moment.”
  — Tig Notaro (40:45)
• “It’s such an example of, once you have information, everything changes.”
  — Tig Notaro (43:05)

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Fortune Feimster’s Stories (48:54–57:58)

• Coming out moment with a stranger: Early-career meet and greet where a young woman came out to Fortune as gay, having never told anyone before, profoundly affecting them both.
• Shared grief and connection through comedy: Fortune recalls unintentionally offering comfort to friends mourning a murdered friend by coincidentally doing a thumbs-up pose in a photo—a symbol their late friend used.

Notable Quotes:

• “I can’t believe I’m going to be a part of your coming out story for the rest of your life. And I’m so honored by that.”
  — Fortune Feimster (50:28)
• “At the last minute, I did my thumb. I did a thumbs up… they all started crying… She always did a thumbs up in all her pictures. And we feel like she’s here with us tonight.”
  — Fortune Feimster (53:06)

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Mae Martin’s Stories (54:14–55:10)

• Mae shares that their most memorable connections often happen after shows, especially with parents of neurodivergent, non-binary teens who find reassurance and representation in comedy spaces.
• The emotional weight of being someone’s “sign of hope” or example for a parent and child.

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Reflections on the Impact of Performance and Comedy

• The group discusses how comedy is often used as solace in grief, how audiences save up and look forward to shows, and the responsibility of artists to “give their all” knowing the significance for individual audience members.

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Michael Urie’s Answer (58:23–60:59)

• Story: Years ago, on a flight to Roanoke, Michael had an unexpectedly deep connection with a woman seated a row away; they had a natural, affectionate conversation for hours.
• The woman’s parting words—“I feel like I’ve known you for years”—inspired Michael to express kind sentiments more freely in life.

Notable Quote:
"Now I do, I try to be like her... I try to say, when I think sweet things... I feel like, I like to say it. So she's like this stranger that I met, and we never saw each other again... and she stayed with me."
— Michael Urie (59:19)

• Humorous coda: Michael jokes that she’s likely a Trump supporter now (61:01), returning the tone to light banter.

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Memorable/Emotional Moments

• Tig’s vulnerable description of her in-flight encounter, illustrating the power of transparency and empathy (37:14–46:56).
• The relief and joy expressed by a young fan coming out to Fortune (50:23–52:19).
• Michael and hosts reflecting on fleeting, meaningful connections with strangers, and how these can influence them for years to come (58:23–63:14).
• Mae and Fortune’s voices breaking as they discuss being a symbol of hope for struggling teens and their families.

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Standout Quotes

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 05:20 | Tig Notaro | “I walked in and one of them had on a ‘keep it handsome’ sleeveless tee... Swear to goodness.” | | 29:00 | Mae Martin | “I think the reason I’m so drawn and attached to Alanis is that since long before we were all talking about this stuff, she was waving that flag.” | | 40:45 | Tig Notaro | “He said, ‘I don’t have any friends... I haven’t done anything wrong.’ ... I almost gave him my phone number in that moment.” | | 43:05 | Tig Notaro | “It’s such an example of, once you have information, everything changes.” | | 50:28 | Fortune Feimster | “I can’t believe I’m going to be a part of your coming out story for the rest of your life. And I’m so honored by that.” | | 59:19 | Michael Urie | "Now I do, I try to be like her... I try to say, when I think sweet things... I feel like, I like to say it." |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening Banter, Outfits, Birthdays: 01:47–13:30
• World Cup & Childhood Stories: 19:10–27:40
• Discussion of Athlete Misconduct: 27:34–29:26
• Alanis Morissette & Justice: 29:00–30:46
• Main Question Introduction: 31:12–32:03
• Tig’s Story (In-flight Stranger): 37:14–46:56
• Fortune’s Stories (Coming Out, Loss): 48:54–57:58
• Audience Impact & Comedy: 54:14–57:54
• Michael Urie’s Story: 58:23–60:59

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Tone & Language

• Conversational, emotionally open, and frequently comedic, even when discussing vulnerable or weighty topics.
• Frequent use of affectionate banter and playful teasing among hosts.
• Deeply empathetic in moments of storytelling and reflection.

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Takeaways

• Encounters with strangers can have a profound, unexpected, and lasting impact, whether through openness, kindness, vulnerability, or simple recognition.
• Sharing a little more empathy, or just a kind word, can be life-changing—for all parties involved.
• The lines between performer and audience, stranger and friend, are often more porous than we imagine.
• Finally, humor and candor can coexist beautifully, binding even virtual or fleeting communities together.

---

Transcript

[Fortune Feimster]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[May Martin]

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Not checking what my handsome co hosts are wearing before a big live show.

[May Martin]

My mistake. My co host showed up wearing suits and all I got is a black tee. I'm feeling underdressed.

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[May Martin]

on the Handsome Pod Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod.

[Tig Notaro]

Cheers.

Welcome to the Handsome Pod. It's your friend Tig Notaro and I'm

[May Martin]

sitting here with my co host, May Martin.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm voiding Beamster. I just took a bite of something right as our theme sound.

Well, that's because we're a professional operation. What do you. What do you have it really satisfies.

Sponsored by them.

[May Martin]

Yeah, the way you're holding it. Crazy.

[Tig Notaro]

But what. What is there? What is their little catchphrase?

Snickers. It really satisfies the quicker picker upper. The quicker picker upper.

No, no, it's definitely not a quicker, bigger upper. It satisfies you.

Yeah.

If I was sponsored by them, they'd fire me right now. Because I don't know any information.

Well, let me ask you this. Do you ever eat them frozen? That used to be my favorite.

I don't eat these frozen, but I love a ice cream Snickers bar.

[May Martin]

Oh yeah, me too. Ice cream stickers.

[Tig Notaro]

Those are great.

And you have it. Is it that you're not interested in freezing a regular Snickers bar or you

just haven't think about it?

Fortune. You must do it. Snickers used to be my favorite meal and I basically lived off of that. Yeah, King size Snicker bars. I remember a girlfriend of mine, she was like, we were out somewhere in public and I was eating a king size Snicker bar and she was like, are you not embarrassed? I was like, how dare she dawned on me to be embarrassed about chomping

[May Martin]

down on a yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And not.

Yes. Yeah. And I, I did. I was like, oh, okay. Is that weird? But yeah, I used to love freezing them and then I've never done just chipping away at it and my God, is that something I loved as a non vegan?

Yeah.

[May Martin]

So their slogan is it's satisfying Snickers really satisfied.

[Tig Notaro]

Do I need to google this?

Maybe Thomas can Google it up. Right?

Snickers.

[May Martin]

I wouldn't mind knowing that's going to drive me nuts. Think about all satisfies. Do you think we should have gone into Snicker satisfies?

[Tig Notaro]

That's their phrase.

Which seems Snickers satisfies.

[May Martin]

Someone came up with that and was like, it's nailed it.

[Tig Notaro]

Their famous marketing slogan, the quicker picker upper is better. I don't feel good about all this Snickers promo for nothing.

Oh, different Snickers slogans. Candy at its best.

[May Martin]

Okay, They've had different 1930 candy at its best.

[Tig Notaro]

1930 was around.

They need to go back to that one. That's fun.

[May Martin]

Oh, 2010. 2010. They had you're not you when you're hungry. That rings a bell.

[Tig Notaro]

None of this rings a bell.

Why wait? Oh, I remember hungry. Why wait? I remember that.

None of it except what a hungry cast.

Grab a Snickers. You guys just never know how we're gonna start one of these. By the way, I just went to a lovely coffee shop. I'm traveling right now because I'm gonna go to a another World cup game. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh my God. You go early dream.

[Tig Notaro]

And I stopped by a little coffee shop in New Jersey run by lesbians. And I walked in and one of them had on a keep it handsome sleeveless tea.

[May Martin]

No way.

[Tig Notaro]

Swear to goodness.

Did her mind explode when you walked in.

I had been there a long time ago, so they had. I had met them before, but they were just like, ah. It was not a planned thing, obviously.

[May Martin]

Do you guys ever worry that we live in like the Truman show and no one's listening to this podcast and. And someone's just pranking us and like knowing where we're going to be and putting people in handsome merch and it's all a big charade.

[Tig Notaro]

It hasn't crossed my mind, but I'm okay with it if that's happening, you know?

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's true.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess I am in a recliner though.

Yeah, that's good looking.

[May Martin]

Unrelated. I am a recliner though.

[Tig Notaro]

Made me think about the Truman Show. I don't iron recliner. Maybe that made me think of that as well.

Well, can you please tell us, did you have a happy birthday?

Amazing birthday.

Oh good.

It was lovely. I took a little vacation for a couple days. I went to Mexico.

[May Martin]

Oh, did you have, you know, unfortune.

[Tig Notaro]

I never noticed your accent before.

Ate some frijoles. Tequila. I just wanted to go somewhere on my birthday eve because the. The hotel had a. They do a dinner once a week.

[May Martin]

Once a week?

[Tig Notaro]

No, like a special dinner. Oh, okay. And I don't know that it's every week, but it happened to fall on my birthday and it's in their garden and so they all. All the food comes from local farmers and all the herbs come from their garden. So it's all farm to table. Incredible, as you say. And it was open bar.

[May Martin]

Oh boy.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh no.

I was like, I'm gonna buy a ticket to this thing because it's my birthday and this is gonna feel like they threw this dinner for me.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Even though they didn't. And it was awesome.

[May Martin]

Did you keep going ding, ding, ding, ding and making speeches to the whole.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right. What did you have at your farm to table meal?

They went around with little baby corns covered.

[May Martin]

Why were tick and I just so charmed by that.

[Tig Notaro]

Baby corns.

[May Martin]

It was like. They are cute though.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was covered in some kind of green sauce. That was incredible.

Probably it's baby diarrhea.

Fresh tortillas being made and she just put like this tomatillo and avocado mix with salt on it. It was so good. God. Then they had this little mushroom like crispy tart thing that's all the apps. And then an amazing salad with chopped up jicama and so far I haven't

[May Martin]

heard about any meat and this is me coming.

[Tig Notaro]

Sorry.

[May Martin]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. But still, so far, the dressing could have indulged.

[Tig Notaro]

I know. The dressing was made from their local honey. Some kind of honey vinegarette.

Incredible.

Then there was a strip bass fish. Shrimp dish with corn, a lamb chop and some kind of braised beef on tortillas.

Oh, stripped bass or striped bass?

Sorry. Striped bass. This one was also stripped.

You were the one off fishing recently. And you're coming on the show saying stripped back. Like I was. Listen, here's the thing.

Catch myself. Say that.

I am the first to say. I don't know a word. I don't have an education. I had a moment there. I was like, all these years.

[May Martin]

I. I just thought you meant, like, it had been stripped from the bone or something.

[Tig Notaro]

Honestly, let's move on. Sea bass.

Who cares? Well, it's good that you know now.

I know now.

And you're only 46.

Yeah. Don't tell anybody.

Okay. Well, I whispered it.

[May Martin]

You don't look a day over seven.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you.

[May Martin]

You look like Shirley Temple, as always.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Oh, but Shirley Temple working at Old Navy.

That's right.

[May Martin]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Can I get you some khakis? I need another pair of khakis on the front floor.

That would be fun.

[May Martin]

The Good Ship Lollipop.

[Tig Notaro]

Go into Old Navy and have a headset and just pretend that you work there.

Sure, why not? I'll throw me some khakis on, pretend like that's my jam. Oh, one other cool thing. That my day was good. Just so you know, I got a spa situation, too. Like, got myself a massage and a facial.

Okay. That's why you look so dynamite. You deserve it.

And then when I came back to my room, the hotel. They had this whole birthday set up on the table and said happy Birthday in this big neon sign. And. And they had someone draw on this, like, portable chalkboard. Nibbles Maple Stick.

[May Martin]

No way.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Huge.

[Tig Notaro]

Let me see it. I'm going to show you.

What is Nibbles maple Stick?

[May Martin]

I knew t you were going to ask. That's the character from Zootopia, too. That Fortune place.

[Tig Notaro]

I was like, look at that.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's incredible. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Happy birthday, Mrs. Fortune. And it's my beaver.

Oh, how dare you. How.

I can't believe you said, who's Nibbles Maple Stick? You're literally in that movie.

But, well, you know, I missed my part. Now, May. How did you know I was gonna. You were truly anticipating me saying, who is Nibble's Maple Stick?

[May Martin]

I actually went. I. A Thousand thoughts went through my brain in a split second. First I thought, oh, I. I better chime in and say to Tig, that's the character from Zoo. Then I went, oh, actually, maybe it looks like Tig knows Nibbles. And then I thought, nah, she didn't know.

[Tig Notaro]

That's ok. Saw the film and I remember Nibbles. And you did an excellent job.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

And you deserve all of the accolades. But I just didn't know the name.

Here's my question. How did you guys enjoy my birthday?

[May Martin]

Well, I enjoyed it. I had a Canada Day party on your birthday.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh yeah, tell us about it.

[May Martin]

I really had a lovely time. Thomas came by with Laura and there was ping pong, there was foosball, there was soccer on in the back. Every Canadian that I know came. And some.

[Tig Notaro]

Was Alanis there?

[May Martin]

Didn't know. No, Alanis didn't show up.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, did you invite Atlantis?

[May Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

There's an open invitation for Atlantis anywhere.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anywhere in the house.

[Tig Notaro]

It's falling off the hill.

[May Martin]

I should have gotten Thomas to contact her. Her team. Can you imagine what a. You should showed up. I would. I mean, and also everyone would remember that party. All the Canadians at my house.

[Fortune Feimster]

We were.

[May Martin]

I mean, we were listening to Alanis. It was craz, of course. And we had the soccer on in the background. And then it was my perfect parties. It started at 2. Everyone was gone by sort of 7. And then. Except for Lisa Gilroy and her husband stayed and we. We were working on a mural of all our favorite Canadian icons. Like children coloring. It was so soothing. It was really great. And we had all Canadian snacks and

[Tig Notaro]

all dressed chips, ketchup. Chips.

[May Martin]

Ketchup chips, maple cookies, French fries with

[Tig Notaro]

the gravy on it.

[May Martin]

Yes, My poutine. Matt's wife Leslie googled the recipe and made poutine and got real cheese curds. So that was pretty good. Yeah, I was. I mean, to be honest, I didn't really do much. Alana Johnston. It was her idea, the party. She came over at noon. She set everything up. She'd ordered all these snacks. She cleaned the house. She.

[Tig Notaro]

And then provided the space.

Pretty much provided the. Yeah. And did you. Cheers. Fortune or, you know, how does fortune fit in?

At what point did you guys stop and say something about me?

[May Martin]

We had a Fortune pinata and we did pin the tail like this.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

Can somebody out there in the handsome universe make pinatas of each of us, please, Please?

[May Martin]

And wait. We should have different. They should be filled with different things that are like, you could have Many Snickers in years, Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

I would have, like, crystals, king size, family size. Snickers.

[May Martin]

Yeah, Snickers.

[Tig Notaro]

Dough that people want to spin.

[May Martin]

What would yours be full of? Tig? Wild blueberries, Broccoli, kale.

[Tig Notaro]

Broccoli sprouts. Broccoli sprouts.

[May Martin]

And all the kids are like, oh, showers.

[Tig Notaro]

And you with quinoa.

Yum.

[May Martin]

You know what I did yesterday? The dream of yours yesterday? I went to see the Phantom of the Opera.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, it's so funny. Don't you want to know what I did on Fortune's birthday?

[May Martin]

Oh, yes, sorry. Yeah. What did you do for Fortune's birthday?

[Tig Notaro]

We were making our way around.

[May Martin]

Yes, let's make our way around. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I truly woke up and went, oh, it's little, tiny baby Fortune's birthday. And you texted me. I texted you right then, right? First thing in the morning. I said, happy birthday, Fortune Marie.

That's right.

I was like, oh, what about my little mountain day?

[May Martin]

You got it in before midnight, 10:30pm I texted Fortune. I said I almost missed it, but

[Tig Notaro]

then I wrote, that is someone who cares. Now you share a birthday with my ex.

Okay?

And so it's forever etched in my mind, you know? Yeah. You know what?

[May Martin]

Yeah, I. I was going to see your ex on her birthday, but then I had my. My Canada Day party.

[Tig Notaro]

You were gonna see my ex on her birthday?

[May Martin]

I was. I was gonna go for dinner there for her birthday.

[Tig Notaro]

I know your ex. Is that what you said?

No, this is a different ex.

Oh, come.

That is in the May circle.

[May Martin]

We gotta know each other.

[Tig Notaro]

I can't keep up with all the exes you're still friends with.

[May Martin]

Well, guys, can I say something about the Phantom of the Opera?

[Tig Notaro]

Please, Mason, dying to get through your Fortune Day.

[May Martin]

Just to get back to Phantom, I have a bunch of Phantoms of the Opera merch I really like, but I've never seen it. And so I went yesterday and I didn't realize it's like a community of Phantom heads. Like, if you thought that there were no goths left in the world, there are phantom Goths like these. Everyone dressed in black, dressing up, wearing masks, wearing, like, black eyeliner. It's like a whole. It's a whole vibe, a whole scene. Phantom. And people were so excited. It's a crazy musical. It's so toxic. It's very, like, you know, Beauty and the Beast, Stockholm syndromey. But I loved it and it was really exciting. And that's all I have to say about it.

[Tig Notaro]

I've never seen it. I would Assume you have fortune.

I have seen Phantom several times. Yes.

Yeah, several times.

But I didn't know I was still touring.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it's in la. And, and, and people were freaking out and the chandelier fell. That, that's the big thing. The chandelier falls at the end.

[Tig Notaro]

Great moment.

[May Martin]

Great moment. But it felt, it felt very slowly

[Tig Notaro]

ruined it for everybody. We didn't know that was coming.

It's been around for a while.

I know, but I didn't. I had never heard about it.

It's like how Miss Saigon had the helicopter.

[May Martin]

Don't.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, I don't know what to tell you, pal.

Don't tell me what happens to Bambi's mother.

I will not.

[May Martin]

She lives. Don't worry. You gotta watch it.

[Tig Notaro]

I will not tell you.

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[Tig Notaro]

Well, that's very exciting because I remember you wore a phantom shirt to our live show. Yeah, I have all the merch. And then at the last minute you're like, I can't wear a phantom shirt on stage. And I think you changed, right?

[May Martin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Why couldn't you wear it on stage?

[May Martin]

I just thought it looked too cash. There was a little hole in it.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

I know.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune pointed out I was too cash.

[May Martin]

Yeah, we were both pretty cash.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

Guys, pretty big show.

I mean, what the hell were you wearing that was so sparkly?

Beautiful jacket on and black pants. And our guests literally had pant suits on.

[May Martin]

Our guests looked gorgeous. Pants on.

[Tig Notaro]

I had army pants.

Honestly, our guest probably had glam done for the show.

[May Martin]

Tig, you were wearing a fleece. It's like a zip up fleece when you arrived.

[Tig Notaro]

I had waterproof trail shoes. I had army pants and some sort of shirt to hide my big old tiggle bitties.

Tingle bitties. Yeah. Yeah, we were keeping it cash. I mean, not me. I. I looked appropriate.

Geez, I really was so shocked by how hard you were on me about my fashion.

I'm not hard on you at all.

You gave me a beat down.

I think I went, huh? Okay.

[May Martin]

I was electrified by that exchange. Fortune said, is that what you're wearing? It was like classic.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, we need to do the text thread where it's like, girl, what are you wearing tonight?

Okay, next time. Yeah, when we do, like, our shows at Dynasty and stuff. That's a little more cash. This is like a 2000 seat theater.

[May Martin]

I didn't realize that either, though.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, when we were in Austin, I wore a black T shirt with a bull skull on it.

Yeah, maybe. Maybe we should always have a thread then. Yeah.

A girl, what are you wearing? We should change our thread name to just girl.

What are we. What are you?

[May Martin]

Instead of handsome? Can we check in daily about what we're all wearing? What are you wearing today?

[Tig Notaro]

I'm in an Under Armour tee.

What is that?

Under Armour?

Yeah.

[May Martin]

What is that?

[Tig Notaro]

You don't know what Under Armour is?

Two against one. What is it, y'?

All?

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

What in the world?

[May Martin]

What is it? Is it, like, support?

[Tig Notaro]

Thomas, do you know Company?

[Michael Urie]

Yeah, I know what Under Armour is.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Ginormous.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, you do your thing, I'll do mine. Well, I don't need to be treated this way.

They first got huge because they. They were the. The shirts underneath, like, aren't. Not army football jerseys. You know, the. That type of material that you can. That carries sweat better. Yeah, it breathes.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

They came. They. They were the first to, like, put that out there, you know, Good for them. So then they apologize for how you talk to us.

[May Martin]

No, because you should know, like, we were dirt on the ground.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you.

[May Martin]

To us. Like, we were.

[Tig Notaro]

Anyway, they're a ginormous sports company.

[May Martin]

Anyway.

[Tig Notaro]

Athletic wear, shoes. Steph Curry had. Has had. I think he might have it gone on his own now, but he had shoes with them forever. Well, I don't need to explain to

y', all, so, I mean, how would I get this information you have?

Like, they don't. They don't ever.

Like, Under Armour has not come up. I will ask them, though.

Okay, well, it's a. It's a great brand, so check it out again. Why am I plugging all these businesses?

Yeah, it satisfies.

Are you gonna wear under our pants right now?

Jesus.

[May Martin]

Are you gonna wear it to the World cup game?

[Tig Notaro]

Good question, May.

It's gonna be 102 degrees in Philadelphia.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm going to dress like I'm going to the gym. So that would be gym shorts that are very, like, thin. Probably some sort of just. Just a sports bra.

[May Martin]

Yeah, just a sports bra, girl.

[Tig Notaro]

Can you imagine, girl? I think, hey, girl, can you imagine, girl?

[May Martin]

What are you wearing, girl?

[Tig Notaro]

No, and just. I mean, not to give it another plug, but probably an Under Armour shirt because it Is breathable in the heat.

And a Snickers bar for sure.

[May Martin]

You got to see Mbappe play.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm so pumped. It's the France Paraguay game. This is my third World cup game that I've gotten to see in person. I'm truly grateful that it's been here in our backyard because I'm a huge soccer fan.

[May Martin]

And when I was really deeply into it too. Mexico.

[Tig Notaro]

I watched the whole time.

[May Martin]

You did?

[Tig Notaro]

Did you say Mexico?

Not on purpose. Did I?

[May Martin]

Mexico.

[Tig Notaro]

Mexico. Mexico. Yeah. They had a bunch of TV setups, so I watch for hours.

May I? I just remembered I sent you that video of the baseball field with the kid riding his motorcycle through the. Was that baseball diamond?

[May Martin]

Because was that just a minisode? We talked about that. Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Tig went to watch like. Like all the kids in this small town.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Max and Finn will like, they'll go play pickup games. Like when they are traveling or whatever, they'll go play baseball. So they go to this field, this baseball field to play a pickup game.

Yeah.

And then, you know, a lot of the kids in the town, they didn't. They'll just show up to the game without their glove and they use their hat to catch the ball.

Oh, my God.

And then some. And some kid just showed up on a motorcycle and was just zipping through the game, like pitch like. Yeah. He's in the baseball diamond and they're just playing the game. Like it's not even weird.

And that is funny.

It's not on the video, but that kid ramps on his bike over the pitcher's mouth.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. Yeah. When Tig told me this and was like. Yeah. And then a 10 year old on a motorcycle came just driving through the field and I was like, yeah, yeah, sure. Then you see the video. It is a child on a motorcycle.

[Tig Notaro]

There's a child on a dirt bike

[May Martin]

just motorized riding through the baseball game

[Tig Notaro]

that was in Colorado between players. Yeah.

And everyone just hilarious.

[May Martin]

Taking it in stride. Everyone seems really chill about it. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Just like whatever.

[May Martin]

There's.

[Tig Notaro]

There's Charlie.

There's Charlie again. Yeah. That's really cute. I'm just kids out and about, being outside and. Yeah, but in Colorado that's probably more prevalent.

Yeah. It's. It's such an active. It's one of the healthiest states in the country. It's a very, very. Huh. It's a very active state.

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I wonder if. If kids get really into soccer around the World cup, like if there's a big up upswing and kids signing up for soccer and stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

So. It's so exciting. It's been a fun World Cup.

[May Martin]

It really, really has.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

But a lot of rapists on the teams.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't you dare.

A lot of what?

[May Martin]

A lot of rapists on the teams. This is like. It's.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I have to like. I think I know about this.

No.

[May Martin]

There's, like, five major soccer players that have been charged with, like, gang rape and.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. It's really great to bring this up.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

We're about to introduce our question.

[May Martin]

But I gotta. I gotta say it. It's in the same way that Conor McGregor was just on.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

On Jimmy Fallon. It's like, we. There are no consequences for these guys. So many. So a good moment was there was one British player who didn't shake the hand of a Ghanaian player who's charged with a vicious rape. And it was like, oh, wicked. And then it's like, man, just one guy. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

It's.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, anyways.

But really bad news.

That is bad news.

[May Martin]

What are you going to do? The Japanese.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't even know about Conor McGregor on. Or Fallon or like, whatever.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And then just. Welcome to board. Huh?

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah. Yucking it up. Yeah. But really, you got to Google that. It's so bad. Or don't, if you don't want to bum yourself out.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, should we?

[May Martin]

You know what I was thinking?

[Tig Notaro]

That's my cleanser.

[May Martin]

Well, I'll bring it back to Alanis to close the loop.

[Tig Notaro]

Please.

I'm sure she'd love to be roped into this.

[May Martin]

I think that I've been. Because I have been feeling angry lately about things like that. Injustice. And I think the reason I'm so drawn and attached to Alanis is that since long before we were all talking about this stuff, she was waving that flag. She's writing songs like under rug Swept and you'd ought to know, and she was channeling that in that righteous indignation and rage into hell.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

I think that's the beauty.

That's why I appreciate our friendship with her.

Yes.

[May Martin]

Oh, God damn it. You guys are real friends. She. I can't.

[Tig Notaro]

We're friends. May. We're fortunate. And I are friends with Alanis and Paul McCartney.

[May Martin]

I know. I actually think, you know, if you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I think Paul would be in my top four.

[Tig Notaro]

Amazing.

[May Martin]

I think she'll happen.

[Tig Notaro]

Be an incredible chatter. And we love chat. Yeah. I think she'd have a ton of great stories.

I mean, I know. I think I mentioned this. I don't think she would remember it, but I. I was at a dinner party with her, an intimate dinner party, years ago.

What told us that?

Oh, yeah.

[May Martin]

How could you have not mentioned that?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, because I think it's in my mind. It doesn't count because she doesn't. I'm certain, didn't remember me.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

How did y'. All. Was she chatting it up? She strikes me as a one on one gal.

I was gonna say I didn't really have. Even though it was maybe 10 people. I don't. I don't think I really had any moment with her other than hello and an introduction that I'm sure she forgot about.

[May Martin]

It's insane how much we talk about her and I know that that's. That I bring her up the most, but it is getting. It's getting to the point.

[Tig Notaro]

But it's nice for me and fortune just because of how close we are

with it takes us down memory lane quite. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

Isn't it ironic?

[May Martin]

Don't you think?

[Tig Notaro]

All right, let's see. Should we get into our question?

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

We should.

[Tig Notaro]

Today's question asker is an actor who played Mark on Ugly Betty and currently plays Brian on Shrinking. He won an Emmy award for best supporting actor for his work on the show. Michael Urie is asking today's question. Yeah. Nice.

[Michael Urie]

Hey, handsome podcast, It's Michael Urie. Wow. Thank you for asking me to do this. I really, really, really love your podcast. And I'm not just saying that because I'm on it. I really love it. My sister Laura and my cousin Cher and I talk about handsome podcasts anytime we see each other. So this is like. I'm a little bit excited and starstruck. Okay, here's my question. When was the time you met a stranger and remembered them forever?

[Tig Notaro]

Wow, he's so adorable. He would.

Yeah.

I first saw him on Ugly Betty. He's such a great actor.

[May Martin]

Yeah, he really is. I know he's friends with Brett Goldstein, too, because they're shrinking and.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right.

[May Martin]

He's a lovely man.

[Tig Notaro]

He's real cute, but.

[May Martin]

Okay. Everyone's a stranger when you meet them.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, that's a good point.

[May Martin]

But I guess someone who was a stranger and kind of stayed a stranger, but had when that in that one meeting had a big impact on your life, that kind of thing.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[May Martin]

So in a way, like the masseuse I had.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

I had a memorable for a different.

[Michael Urie]

The response to that has been amazing, by the way.

[Beck Bennett]

May.

[Michael Urie]

I don't know if you've seen the comments, but like universally positive people.

[May Martin]

Oh thank God.

[Michael Urie]

Happy you shared about that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really?

[May Martin]

Oh my God. I was so worried that people would be like you're over sharing or like that's weird. Okay, great. People are into the masseuse story. Great.

[Michael Urie]

And they also enjoyed Fortune and Tig's scandalized reactions us clutching our pearls the whole time.

[Tig Notaro]

Is this on. On Instagram?

[Michael Urie]

On YouTube mostly. Is where I saw.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, these old buddy duddies over here.

[May Martin]

Go on. It didn't even occur to me to read the YouTube comments. And I wish you hadn't said that Thomas. Cuz now you know I'm going to

[Tig Notaro]

be reading Go down a rabbit hole.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I am. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

Upgrade your everyday.

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[Beck Bennett]

Hi, I'm Beck Bennett.

[Kyle Mooney]

I thought I was Beck Bennett.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no, no.

[Kyle Mooney]

Kyle Mooney.

[Beck Bennett]

Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good.

[Kyle Mooney]

Thanks, buddy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And we host the show what's our podcast here on Headgum.

[Kyle Mooney]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick ass person online.

[Beck Bennett]

Like you're skateboarding through the Internet or you're like you're surfing through the web.

[Kyle Mooney]

Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place.

[Beck Bennett]

I like that it's all in one place. I don't, I like that I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something.

[May Martin]

It's just all, it's like, oh, do

[Kyle Mooney]

I need to go to like, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or to like another type of website to upload?

[Beck Bennett]

You know, it's all in one place.

[Kyle Mooney]

The video or audio or like. No, I want it makes it easy. Make it easy on me, please.

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Yes. And you can do all those things. Photos, videos, changing fonts, you know, I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. They're SEO tools, which. I know what those are. And their custom domains.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, let's come up with a domain right now. Let's see. I wonder if it exists.

[Beck Bennett]

Www.friendsmeetingfriends friendsmeetingfriends.com that's an original thing that we came up with. Friends meeting friends. Anyway, so check out squarespace.com edgar for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HEADGUM. Save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, stranger, I had one recently and this is going to be very uncomfortable for me to share because it doesn't Paint me in a good light at first.

Okay.

And safe space. Okay? Safe space, please. Everybody listening. I was on a flight, and there was a kid sitting next to me, and he was, you know, kind of, like, had headphones on and was, like, putting music on and, like, seemingly jamming. Like. Like, very outwardly jamming. And I. I was like, oh, gosh, I don't think I can handle this flight, you know? Yeah. With. With the energy that was going on. And I texted Stephanie. I was like, holy Lord. And in my mind, I'm thinking, this kid. Well, first of all, I was sitting in first class, and I was thinking that this kid was maybe spoiled and was not aware of his surroundings and

[May Martin]

has all this technology.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

Has all this technology. Didn't care that I was sitting right next to him, and I was a little irritated. And then he turns to me and he says, I listen to my music because it soothes me. I'm autistic. I didn't even ask him. And he said, I'm an anxious flyer. And he was like, maybe. I think 11. And I was like, immediately, oh, my God. May. Oh, my God, May this. Listen. I have been around autistic kids. My first girlfriend's nephew is autistic. I've known him since the day he was born. And I did not identify it. And I went from being irritated to so moved. He said. He completely just announced this to me like, 30 minutes into our flight.

[May Martin]

That's what's so moving, is that he obviously has been told or has learned to, like, tell people that and divulge that. Yeah, go on.

[Tig Notaro]

He was like. He said, I'm autistic and I have adhd. And I said. I go, oh. I said, okay. And I asked what his name was. And then I completely went from irritated to so deeply engaged in this child. Plus, he is one year older than my sons. And he told me. He said, my dad and I got split up on this flight, so he's back, you know, in coach. But he let me sit here because I have to, you know, I need space to calm myself. And I was like, oh, everything was adding up. I was like, oh, my gosh. And then he said to me, out of nowhere, another beat of silence. He said, I don't have any friends. He said, people don't like me. He said, but I haven't done anything wrong. And I was like, oh, my God. I said, heartbreaking. You have not done anything wrong. I almost gave him my phone number in that moment, because I was like, I'm your friend. I am your friend. And then his dad came up to check on him after a while. And then after the. And we had such a nice conversation. And then once the plane landed and he exited, you know, he exited much earlier than his father. And then I was, you know, I waited with him just to see his father, you know, meet up with him. And then, you know, his dad, I think obviously is very used to. He didn't like stop and talk to me. He just like once I saw his dad catching up with him, I waved and his dad waved like, thank you, you know.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Ye.

[Tig Notaro]

I walked away a completely changed person and was like, oh my God, you have to be more aware. And I called Stephanie and I could not get it out of my mouth. I was like telling her about this guy and I said, and when he told me he did not have any friends and that there he's done nothing wrong. People just think I'm weird, but I've done nothing wrong. I was like. And it took me so long to get that out of my mouth.

Yeah.

And, and, and I just, I wasn't hard on myself. I was just so.

[May Martin]

I.

[Tig Notaro]

It was so hard for me to look back at myself irritated for the first half hour because I saw him in such a different light and then I saw him in a way different light after.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And. And it just made me again there. I know autistic people. I know severely autistic people in my life. And, and I just somehow missed it. And I think it was because he was a young kid in first class that was like, had a lot of technology like you said, May.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And it just made me want to be more aware of. And I feel like I am and I try to be, but this was,

[May Martin]

but that's so human on a flight to be like, that's like a classic thing to be like I'm sitting next to a kid and I'm on this long flight, like. But, but, but yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And he was banging his head like he was like bouncing his head on the seat. And I was just like, oh boy, here we go. And then as soon as I had the information, I didn't care what this guy did. I didn't care if he was banging my seat with his hand. It's just, and it's such an example of like once you have information, everything changes.

Yeah.

Everything changes anyway.

It's incredible.

[May Martin]

Like assuming the, the best about people. Yeah. And, and so many, I mean on a broader scale, like so many of the behaviors that are antisocial are, are self soothing things. You know, and people on the fringes of society and stuff. That. And growing up, it was such a different time, the way we talked about people, you know, and now I think we see, like, yeah, people are doing what they can to soothe and get by.

[Tig Notaro]

And it was so interesting, too. Like, once he told me he was autistic, and then seeing how he would respond, like, he put on a show, a cartoon that he liked, and when he got excited, he was so overwhelmed, and it was the cute. All of a sudden, he was just the cutest thing in the world. But it was such. Also a different reaction than banging his head. Like, when he saw his cartoon come on and he got so physically overwhelmed, he couldn't calm himself down. And it was. He truly changed my life on that flight.

[May Martin]

God, that is the best answer to this question.

[Tig Notaro]

That was a great one, I feel.

But it just happened. It just happened, like, three weeks ago. And again, there are, like, very clearly autistic people in my life, but I just missed it with this guy.

[May Martin]

Did you tell Max and Finn this story? Because I feel like that's such a good learning story.

[Tig Notaro]

No, but that's a good idea. I should definitely share it with him.

[May Martin]

And I feel like kids are always on the edge of your seat when you're telling them a story where. Where you are like, I. I messed up, or, like, I got it wrong. Then kids are like. Like, they're electrified by that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanted to in our past episodes, but I was just, like, I wasn't fully comfortable with it, but. But this really applies, and it really was a person. I know. I will never forget this kid. Yeah, I will never forget this kid. And I. And I would actually love to keep in touch, but I knew it didn't really make sense. Maybe, but I don't know. But, man, he really. He was so sweet.

[May Martin]

I bet you had an impact on him by being his friend and, like, by connecting with him on that flight.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? But, man, I hope he's out there in the world. Just do what he can try, you

know, and just having a positive experience for him with the stranger, like, oh, I got through this one flight, and it was nice, you know, Even if it's as simple as that.

And it was like, as you were saying before May, like, just him knowing what he needs to do to take care of himself and to share about himself.

[May Martin]

Yeah, he must have.

[Tig Notaro]

He might have picked up that I was a little like, jesus, what is going on with this kid? Like, does he not. Because when he Was banging his head. It was like rocking me too in my seat. And anyway, whatever that was somebody I met one time. I know I'll never see him again, changed my life. I'll never forget him.

[May Martin]

But also that he must have good support in his life, that he knows I didn't do anything wrong, that there's nothing that's cool.

[Tig Notaro]

And that's that thing of like I see it so often. I have, my cousins. Son has down syndrome and I feel like this is so common with people that have, you know, are differently abled and all kind of, you know, all of their, the little ways that make them themselves that they seem to most times fall into the perfect family. And it, and it. And you see these parents, like even though I didn't talk to that little boy's d. His vibe and sweetness from a distance, I was like, this kid's in great hands.

Yeah.

[May Martin]

You know, great.

[Tig Notaro]

And I'm not saying it's every time, but when you see. I feel like I've seen so many kids, especially with down syndrome, where I'm like, man, these parents are the most patient, kind, seemingly loving people.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I know there's a lot of. Maybe there's criticism of love on the spectrum that, that show. Like it's exploitative but, but from what I'm seeing, I like the. I think it's demystifying things a lot for people and everyone's relating so much to the, to the people featured on that show and then they're. Yeah. And I think, I think that's great because yeah, we're all.

[Tig Notaro]

I love that show.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, in this curveball, I've never seen it, but that's my story.

[May Martin]

That's a great story. I can't top that. I. I'm trying to think of podcast is over fortune of you guys. Yeah. What? I can't ever top that. So no more episodes.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean I was trying to think. I mean the, the beauty of being a stand up, as you guys know, is you get to have these interactions with people. I think in a way you might not get to like on a pretty regular basis. You're meeting strangers who are very familiar with you and you not know them obviously. So I would say, you know, throughout my career there has been different people, strangers who've come up to me and I just had a moment with where you just go, wow. Like that was pretty. That was really incredible. And I, I feel like I have

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

those quite, quite a bit.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, I mean, you know, some that kind of stand out would be early on in my career. I had. I was doing Chelsea lately, touring, I

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

think I was in Boston doing a

[Tig Notaro]

show and I noticed there was a, A young, maybe college age girl kind of hanging sort of the back. Looked like she wanted to talk and people were chatting with me. And then she kind of like waited patiently. And then she came over and she was like, I just wanted you to know that I am gay. And I've never told anyone this wow person I've ever.

[May Martin]

I already cried this morning before. I'm like, I'm gonna go. Okay. So you're the only person she's ever

[Tig Notaro]

said that I love. No one knows. I just, I wanted to tell you because I felt safe to tell you and I just wanted to thank you for allowing me to tell you that and for making me feel brave enough to say that. And I just was like, oh my, oh my God. Like, first off, congratulations, because that's huge. This is the start of you telling many people, I think, and I think your journey ahead is going to be much lighter because this is such. I know when I came out it was such a weight lifted off my shoulders. I said, I can't believe I'm going to be a part of your coming out story for the rest of your life. And I'm so honored by that. It really touched me that, that she was. Wanted to share that. And so I've always remembered that and just thought, you know, that was back when I started to really realize that, you know, my lack of representation growing up, how that affected my journey. And that was when I started to realize, oh, wow, I get to be. It's not for everyone but some people here and they're a part of their representation and you know, hopefully making their path a little bit easier to being out or comfortable with being gay or whatever, however they identify. So, yeah, that was really powerful. And then I voice and you know what's wild? What's that?

She probably listens to this podcast.

Maybe. I hope so.

I bet she does because. I bet. Yeah, I bet. Because it was such a massive impact that she felt comfortable coming out to you, that you are close to her heart for the rest of her life.

Yeah, that would be awesome. Hopefully she's living a big full out gay life. I, I really, I really do. And then, you know, as part of our job too is you're, you, your comedy, you, you're sometimes with people in their most vulnerable moments. So I've had, you know, people share with me about, oh, there was this one group of friends who came to my show In Fort Worth, Texas. And we took a picture after the show. I was doing meet and greets. And I want to say there was like five of them, all girls. And, you know, just like, hey, what's up?

[May Martin]

Like, nice to meet you guys.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

And they're like, hey, we take this picture.

[Tig Notaro]

And at the last. I don't know if I've shared this, but at last minute, I did my thumb. I did a thumbs up because I put a thumbs up a lot in pictures. And they all started crying. And I was like, what? What just happened? And they were like, our friend was supposed to come here with us and was murdered only like a month ago and we weren't gonna come. And at the last minute, she was a big fan of yours. And at the last minute, we just decided we would come to honor her. And she always did a thumbs up in all of her pictures. And we feel like she's here with us tonight. It killed me, I started crying. Yeah. I mean, I've just had so many of those unbelievably vulnerable specialists, Just real moments with people. There's too many to like, even say them all on here. But it's the best part of our job is to get to have these, like, really special interactions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Those are great.

[May Martin]

Those are great. Yeah, my. I guess mine would be similar. They're all kind of blurred into one because. Yeah, it's those types of moments. But on this recent tour, I definitely. It was the parents that really got me. Like, the parents bring in their teens and. Yeah, yeah. So. And meeting like a one mom with her 13 year old who was non binary and neurodivergent and having a terrible time in school and. Yeah. And so. And the mom was just crying and it was just like, it felt very special because the mom was like, I didn't know that it could be okay for my kid. Like, it's so reassuring to be in this space where all these different types of people are and. And for my kid to see someone being confident and. And, you know, and so that meant a lot. Yeah. That those types of things. Yeah, I'm sure.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm.

[May Martin]

I mean, I. My mind is going back to that masseuse as well. They really did open up, blast me to outer space.

[Tig Notaro]

Of course, there's always that Sometimes you're also like bringing, you know, making people laugh again for the first time. Those moments are really incredible.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I've had parents come up to me who. Who just lost a child in an accident, and they're like, this first time we Laughed. You kind of forget just, like, how much people just need it. Yeah. For whatever reason. Not just like in the most extreme versions of it, but you're just like, God dang, that's heavy for. For them.

[May Martin]

And it's pretty special that to. To go somewhere for the purpose of laughing with a group of people and to know you're. You're in a. Yeah. A space that people have come there to laugh. And that's what I'm.

[Tig Notaro]

I remember years ago doing a show in South Bend, Indiana, and before I went on stage, and this, like, changed my whole perspective. I didn't. It's not that I didn't think about the audience. I just was. I thought about them as a group, but I wasn't thinking about individually. And I do that now. And of course you have. Sometimes you have. Yeah, you're not so. Great show that you do where you walk off stage going, wasn't my favorite, but I really, after this experience, felt like I just always want to do my best because I remember this woman just being like, we have saved up all year to get a babysitter to go out to dinner and to come to this comedy club to see you perform, and we cannot wait.

Yeah.

[May Martin]

So nice.

[Tig Notaro]

And they had driven, like, a couple of hours, and I was like. Pressure was on. I was like, oh, my God. And that's what I mean. It was early days of my career where I didn't really think about, oh, people are planning, people are getting babysitters, people are saving money. This is a big outing for some people. And so that just changed my perspective going on stage. And again, you have great shows, you have tanks, or not necessarily tanks, but you know what I'm saying? Just like, you never know, but you go on stage going, man, I do want to give my all. But, yeah, that. That definitely was one of those moments. Even though it wasn't, like, heavy or anything, it changed.

Just a good reminder. Yeah.

That people are going through things. People don't have as much money. People are really going out of their way to have a nice evening, but blow off steam, whatever it is. Yeah.

That's what May likes to do. Blow off steam.

[May Martin]

You know what I mean?

[Tig Notaro]

Strangers.

Well, should we hear what Michael has to say?

[May Martin]

Yeah, let's hear Michael's answer.

[Michael Urie]

My stranger who I remember forever was a woman. I don't remember her name. We shared a flight together. There was no one sitting between us. I was on the aisle, and she was on the window, and there was nobody sitting between us. It was, you know, two Hour, three hour flight, I believe we were going from New York to Roanoke, Virginia where my parents were living at the time. And she and I got to talking and we talked the whole flight, two hour flight, three hour flight. Just chatted the whole time about who knows what, I don't remember. But we really got along and it was the easiest free flowing conversation. And when it was done, when we were done we were like sort of landing or it was like we were at a point where we couldn't really start a new conversation because we weren't gonna have time to finish it. And we kind of hit our first like lull and we both kind of realized, well, this is it, we're never gonna see each other again. And she said, I feel like I've known you for years. And I agreed and I was so touched that she said that. And I felt like we'd sort of become these kindred spirits and we were now going to go off into our lives together never to see each other again. There was no social media, I was not, you know, like she couldn't find me on tv, I wasn't on TV or anything like that yet. And I would never see her again. And I haven't as far as I know. And I have kept her with me because I was so inspired by her saying that to me. I feel like I've known you for years because I just thought this is a sweet thing to say that like I don't know that I would like have said it if, if I thought that. But now I do. I try to be like her, that lady from Roanoke, Virginia. I try to say when I think sweet things like that or kind things or I feel a connection with somebody, I feel like, I like to say it. So she's like this stranger that I met and we never saw each other again. We spent a few hours together in a plane and she changed me and she stayed with me and I hope that I have become more like her, but I think I have.

[May Martin]

Isn't that great?

[Michael Urie]

I miss her.

[Tig Notaro]

I miss her too.

[Michael Urie]

We should share emails or something.

[Tig Notaro]

That's so weird.

[Michael Urie]

Well, she's probably a Trump voter.

[May Martin]

Oh no.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh no.

[May Martin]

She's probably a Trump supporter. That's so funny. That's a great story.

[Tig Notaro]

I love that those kind of interactions,

[May Martin]

you know what it made me think? Like in when you're in your teens and twenties and in sort of party days, like if you're at a house party or in a bar and you're a little intoxicated or on then it's so easy to form those connections with strangers. So many people rely on. On booze. Like, you know when you're in the bathroom and you just bond with a stranger and you're like, there's. You're like. But, yeah, I want that all the time, basically.

[Tig Notaro]

You love a bathroom bond.

[May Martin]

I love the bathroom bond. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

It reminded me of. I also had this experience where this guy and I were on a flight from Portland, Maine, to. I can't remember.

I've been there.

Yeah, me too. But anyway, we had this really nice connection, and it was in 2001, and we were on the flight together on September 10, 2001, and we parted ways after having such a nice conversation. And I don't know if I've shared this, but I had a very weird. I had cycled from Montreal to Portland, Maine, and then I flew off to. I can't remember what city after that, but it was the exact path of the hijackers on September 11, and they came over the Montreal border to Portland, Maine, and they all flew out the day after I was there.

[May Martin]

That's bizarre.

[Tig Notaro]

It was very bizarre. And it was at a time in my career where I had my email address on my website, and that guy looked me up and emailed me, making sure I got home safely, that I wasn't on one of those planes because.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. Yeah. But he and I, we talked the whole time. I was like, I love this guy. And then I should look him up. I think about him every now and then.

Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway.

Wow.

Yeah. Really wild.

I love this. I love you, too. I love special connections.

Yes. Like a handsome one.

[May Martin]

We were all strangers when we met.

[Tig Notaro]

We sure were. It's a very good point, once again.

And now look at us, chatting with friends on the handsome pod.

Yeah, we should write a song about it.

[May Martin]

And, guys, I feel like I've known you for years. For three years, the time that we've been doing the pod.

[Tig Notaro]

So does anybody have anything they want to share about where they'll be?

I do.

Hit it. Yeah, hit it. All right. I'll be in Rochester, New York. Calgary, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati. Charleston, West Virginia. Chattanooga, Knoxville, Olympia, Washington. Fresno, Los Angeles. Always a dynasty typewriter in Largo. What about you guys?

My tour starts back up on Thursday in West Hampton Beach, N.Y. then Foxwood Casino in Connecticut. Red Bank, N.J. halifax, Canada.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Provincetown, Mass.

[Tig Notaro]

In two weeks. Greenville, S.C. wilmington, N.C. then a bunch more dates. Boise, Portland, Oregon. Austin. Dayton, Ohio. Louisville. Madison. Durham, Denver. A bunch of places. And also, if you have a child who's very young.

I do.

I have a fun part in the Paw Patrol movie that just came out August 2nd, so I play a fun little character in that. So I hope you all take your

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

little kids to see it.

[Tig Notaro]

That's awesome. My kids outgrew it, but, man, were they Paw Patrol fans.

It's for sure.

It's so massive. My nephew's never even seen it. And he's a fan. He's never seen a screen in his life. He just listens to, like, the audio of it.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

They dropped off all these toys, all these Paw Patrol toys, but all the kids in my family are much older, so I dropped some off to a neighbor's kid and my manager's kid, my radio producer's kid. So I was a big hit.

Nice.

[May Martin]

I got no. Well, check out my social media. I'm in la. I'm gonna do shows at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. But in general, check out my music on Spotify, wherever you get your music. Or check out an old. An old special and get ready for the new special, the Possum coming out. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And also go to handsomepod.com for all of our wonderful, beautiful merchandise. Please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe whenever, wherever you get your podcasts. Also on YouTube. And we are available a day early on Hulu Streaming on Hulu.

[May Martin]

Yeah, you can watch me crying all through this app.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Go to Utah. Go to Hulu.

[May Martin]

Deeply moved by everyone's stories and always a pleasure to see you guys. And until next time, keep it handsome.

[Tig Notaro]

Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, May Martin, and Fortune Feamster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handsome podgmail.com. follow us on social media at Handsome Pod.

What a podcast.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Podcast.

[May Martin]

What a podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

That was a headgum podcast.

[May Martin]

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not checking.

[May Martin]

My camera has film before I go on a trip up to the mountains.

[Fortune Feimster]

I messed up.

[May Martin]

I love taking photos with real film, but it helps to actually bring some with me and not just an empty camera.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check

[Tig Notaro]

Allstate first for an auto quote.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[May Martin]

What's up, everybody?

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm Kyle Mooney.

[Beck Bennett]

And what's up, everybody?

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm back, Bonnet and Man. Ooh, we got something. To tell you.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah, we definitely do.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes. It's a brand new podcast on Headgum.

[Beck Bennett]

That's right. And it's called what's Our Podcast?

[Kyle Mooney]

Yep. And that's because we don't have a single idea what our podcast should be about.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, we don't. So we actually have guests come on and they tell us what they think our podcast should be about, and then we try it.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yep. Guests like Marc Maron, Jack Black, Brittany Broski, Caper lan, Bobby Moynihan, Meg Stalter.

[Beck Bennett]

And Tim Ball.

[Kyle Mooney]

Landon Axler, Joey, Joni McGrease. And Dender.

[Beck Bennett]

And Dender. New episodes release every Wednesday, so subscribe to what's Our Podcast?

[Kyle Mooney]

On YouTube or any of your favorite podcast platforms. Yeah, I'm gonna go do it right now.