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Mae Martin
This is a headgun podcast.
Tig Notaro
Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.
Mae Martin
Like, you know to check that you plan a fun day outside in the sun for the longest day of the year. Happy June Solstice, everyone.
Tig Notaro
Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings varies, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
Mae Martin
This episode of Handsome is brought to you by booking.com booking.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
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Tig Notaro
Yes, you can. I've been planning a getaway with some friends to the desert. And here's what we want. Okay.
Mae Martin
We want a big house with a.
Tig Notaro
Bedroom for each person, plus views of the desert, plenty of space to congregate both inside and out. And last but not least, gotta have a hot tub and a sauna. And with booking.com finding the perfect place was a warm desert breeze. I can't wait for the trip because I'm going to be able to hang out with my friends and also have privacy when I need it. And if my buddies and I can find our perfect stay on booking.com then.
Mae Martin
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Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Book today on the site or in the app.
Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod.
Cheers.
Welcome to the Handsome Pod. Here we are live in the flesh in person. I'm one of your hosts, Mae Martin.
Tig Notaro
And I am another host. And my name is Tig Notaro.
Fortune Feimster
And I am Fortune Peepster.
Tig Notaro
This is all true.
Mae Martin
This is true.
Tig Notaro
So far, everything is true.
Fortune Feimster
We're on a real hot streak here.
Mae Martin
I'm sitting on this butch leather sofa.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Feeling butch.
Tig Notaro
Look at it.
Mae Martin
Thank you.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Yeah.
Mae Martin
I've been cutting my own hair, though, a lot, and it's got into a weird shape and very thin, thick, and kind of. I don't know why I do it.
Fortune Feimster
Do you know how to cut hair?
Mae Martin
No.
Tig Notaro
So you just clearly.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, you do. I have noticed a lot in life. You're always doing this with your hair. What?
Tig Notaro
You do this? You do a little circle?
Mae Martin
No, I do. Okay, I'll show you, though.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, show us.
Mae Martin
Okay, so it's this. The fingers go into it, and then it kind. And then I kind of pull out to give it some texture. But it. My friend was like, well, that's a stim. That's autism.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, really?
Mae Martin
Because I do it all the time and I can't stop. So am I up to.
Fortune Feimster
Is stimming just an autism thing, or is it, like, anxiety or.
Mae Martin
Could be. Yeah. Who fucking knows? It could be, like, an OCD thing. I don't know. But I am constantly, like.
Fortune Feimster
I do things with my fingers. Like, you do stuff like this? Yeah.
Mae Martin
There's, like, whole blooper reels during filming of me doing that in scenes or using the cameras, using my reflection.
Tig Notaro
Your blooper is touching your hair. I mean, you should see my bloopers.
Fortune Feimster
Is it you just messing a line?
Tig Notaro
I mean, the gibberish that comes out of my mouth on Star Trek.
Mae Martin
I love a blooper. Oh, yeah. They edited together a montage of me using my reflection in the camera to fix my hair and then doing it in character.
Tig Notaro
And when they play it for the cast and crew, does everyone laugh so hard at your blooper? Her?
Mae Martin
No. Everyone sort of. Everyone's like, oh, that's old May. And then I'm sort of laughing at first, and then my face slowly falls as I see myself reflect. And, you know.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Well, this has started out sad.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
This has started out melancholic, if it's helpful at all. Your hair looks the same to me. Would you say May's hair looks the same?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I mean, we don't notice the change, but I think it matters to.
Mae Martin
You more than anything on this earth.
Tig Notaro
Well, you know, it's funny we're talking about this, because tonight I'm giving my little cubs a haircut.
Mae Martin
Oh, my God. Are you excited? Cause you're good. You have the whole kit and everything.
Tig Notaro
I have the whole kit. I have the cape that goes around the neck.
Mae Martin
Oh, my gosh.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I have buzzers, clippers, everything. That's fun. I have been doing this since the pandemic. I love it so much.
Mae Martin
Will you make, like, banter as if you're a hairdresser while you do it?
Tig Notaro
No, because Max and Finn are like, are we finished yet?
Fortune Feimster
Right?
Tig Notaro
And it's like, every few seconds, I'm like, guys, guys, please. If we were, you know, we would have to get in the car, we'd have to drive to the barber shop that we have to wait. You know, this is much faster.
Mae Martin
Yeah, you're saving time.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And money. Okay.
Fortune Feimster
We are saving our cash.
Mae Martin
Oh, yeah, you are.
Tig Notaro
And so I cut their hair and then I cut. Stephanie's dad. Papa Grande cut his hair and he does saddle up like, he's at an actual barber shop. And he's like, well, you know, today I was going down the 101 and.
Fortune Feimster
You know, he wants the full experience.
Mae Martin
They should, like, for men who have difficulty talking about their feelings, they should set up like a little barber shop. Like, it. It gives them the space to talk.
Fortune Feimster
To open up, say what's on their mind.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I. Oh, go on.
Fortune Feimster
No, no, please.
Mae Martin
No.
Tig Notaro
Please.
Fortune Feimster
No. Honestly, my hair is like a three hour process.
Tig Notaro
You said I could go.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, sor.
Tig Notaro
You go, no, Fortune, it's your turn.
Fortune Feimster
My hair take is like a three hour process.
Tig Notaro
What?
That?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, because I have to.
Tig Notaro
Oh, you mean cutting it.
Fortune Feimster
Cutting it.
Tig Notaro
Nothing meant styling it.
Fortune Feimster
No cutting it. How dare you?
Mae Martin
It's three hours. Is this your style?
Fortune Feimster
No, because, you know, I sunkiss my hair. So that takes forever.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
How do you sun kiss your hair?
Fortune Feimster
They put in highlights and lowlights.
Tig Notaro
That is adorable. So you sit in one of those little chairs with.
Fortune Feimster
It takes forever. With the. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
The helmet over your head.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God. Can you tell us when you're having that done again?
Fortune Feimster
Are you gonna come over?
Tig Notaro
Yeah, we put on the list. So you go to the salon and you sit under the thing?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, with the foils.
Mae Martin
The foils.
Fortune Feimster
I'll take a picture.
Tig Notaro
No, you're gonna. Oh, you're gonna. Yes. God. Oh, my God, yes.
Fortune Feimster
In the salon. You just hear you guys come tromping in.
Tig Notaro
Look at. Look at fortune. Trying to keep it handsome over there.
Fortune Feimster
It takes a village.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Do you play games on your ph and wait, you take vaccines? You know I do.
Fortune Feimster
Well, the. The person who I found to do it, she's been doing it in the last year. It's fun to talk to. Okay, so we talk a lot.
Tig Notaro
Why is she fun to talk to?
Fortune Feimster
She's just like, easy going and easy to talk to.
Tig Notaro
More fun than me?
Fortune Feimster
No.
Tig Notaro
No, thank you.
Fortune Feimster
Who is.
Tig Notaro
Exactly.
Fortune Feimster
And while the thing's on, you can't really talk.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So then I'll play on, like, games on my phone and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
What kind of games do you play on your phone? Best fiends.
Mae Martin
Best fiends. It ruined my life for a while.
Fortune Feimster
I know. It's addictive.
Mae Martin
I stopped playing it.
Fortune Feimster
Although some people say it's called best Fins. I don't know.
Mae Martin
Gotta be fiends.
Fortune Feimster
I think What's a better name, too?
Tig Notaro
Best Fins.
Fortune Feimster
Best Fins and Maxes. What's that?
Tig Notaro
Best Fins and Maxes.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
What's and Maxes?
Tig Notaro
My other son.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, Fin. I just went.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
Like, yeah, yeah.
Mae Martin
My new, like, passing the time thing is the. Is the capital cities, and I'm at 130 if anyone was, like, following my progress and wanted to know, because I know the countries and I'm 130.
Tig Notaro
Have I already told you? You should talk to Finn about this.
Mae Martin
Yeah. He's into geography and maps and.
Tig Notaro
Oh, even beyond the U.S. i mean, it's like, so. And flags.
Mae Martin
I'm stressed because I didn't know each state in America has a capital city.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yes.
Mae Martin
I didn't know that.
Tig Notaro
That is adorable.
Mae Martin
So now I got. I guess.
Tig Notaro
Welcome.
Mae Martin
Yeah. Thank you. I like it here.
Fortune Feimster
Welcome. When are you getting your license, by the way?
Mae Martin
Well, I've had a lesson recently.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
Mae Martin
But after the lesson, I've learned that my learner's permits expired, so I have to do the written test again. I know. But as soon as I'm done that, I'm. I swear to God, you guys, I'm going to get the license by the end of the summer. It's happening.
Tig Notaro
Where are you going to go?
Mae Martin
I'm gonna drive around the block. I'm gonna go. Oh, my God. Every morning I could go anywhere. I could go to the desert.
Fortune Feimster
You can? Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Every morning I could go.
Fortune Feimster
The world is your oyster when you have a car.
Mae Martin
Yeah. I could go to Ojai.
Tig Notaro
I don't have a car.
Fortune Feimster
You don't?
Tig Notaro
No.
Fortune Feimster
So how do you get around?
Tig Notaro
We're one car. Family.
Fortune Feimster
No.
Mae Martin
Yeah. So that counts as yours.
Fortune Feimster
For real? Y' all have to ride together everywhere?
Tig Notaro
Well, we, you know, we live in a very walkable area.
Fortune Feimster
True.
Tig Notaro
And I don't go anywhere. Oh, wow. I just shuffle around my neighborhood and have coffee and snacks and picture you.
Mae Martin
In a robe, shuffling around in a robe.
Fortune Feimster
That is nice to be able to walk to coffee. I do like that.
Tig Notaro
Or I'll Uber like I ubered here.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah.
Tig Notaro
I didn't take a stretch limousine Uber like you.
Fortune Feimster
Well, I guess if you don't go many places and it doesn't make sense to have two cars.
Tig Notaro
No. Stephanie wants me to get one.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah.
Tig Notaro
She's tired of. She's tired of me being like, oh, you don't. You don't need the car today. I'm gonna take that and. Yeah, but we'll work that out.
Mae Martin
Who's a better driver, you or Stephanie.
Tig Notaro
Well, that's up for debate. Stephanie would swear if she is.
Mae Martin
Is she faster?
Tig Notaro
No.
Mae Martin
Really? Okay.
Tig Notaro
Okay. No, no. And she has a car that famously goes fast. And I'm like, why do we even have this?
Mae Martin
Right?
Tig Notaro
You know? And she's just buckled in, going, the speed limit.
Mae Martin
I'm gonna go the speed limit all the time. It's too scary.
Fortune Feimster
Well, at least while you're still getting comfortable.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Speaking of getting comfortable, look at Biggie.
Mae Martin
Yeah, Biggie.
Fortune Feimster
Biggie's getting very comfortable.
Mae Martin
Guys, tonight I'm. I'm already feeling nervous because tonight I'm going to see a scary movie.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
Mae Martin
And this is, you know, Brett Goldstein, my friend. So he. I think some.
Tig Notaro
We're friends with them too. Yeah, he's your buddy and he say, our friend Brett.
Mae Martin
You know, our mutual friend Brett.
Fortune Feimster
Of course.
Tig Notaro
He' someone.
Mae Martin
You got like a screener of a movie because the guys are going to come on his podcast or something and they're the guys that made that movie. Talk to me. And can I just read you. This is what the reviews said, because it hasn't come out yet. And then I googled it.
Tig Notaro
Do you get swayed by reviews?
Mae Martin
No, normally I don't read them, but I'm. I don't like all scary movies. I like, like a thriller and I like a slasher movie, but this is. Okay. Extremely gnarly with no pulled punches. This film has such an evil presence from the get go, even before the studio logos hit. You're hit with this disturbing imagery that makes you feel gross and unsafe, deeply upsetting. I'd even go so far as to say this is an evil film. Like, it feels like it haunted me, like I'm gonna die in seven days.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, no. This is gonna be like the bear.
Tig Notaro
Is this like a professional reviewer or is it somebody who's in a comment in their underwear in the middle of the night?
Mae Martin
I think it's that. I think it was someone on Rotten Tomatoes or something.
Fortune Feimster
You're gonna be haunted by this movie.
Mae Martin
I know. I'm scared.
Fortune Feimster
You're going with Brett. Is that what you were saying?
Mae Martin
Yeah. I don't normally like supernatural horror movies. They. They freak me out.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah, I don't. For some reason, I don't mind a. Well, crazy guy with a knife.
Fortune Feimster
You can always fall asleep during it.
Tig Notaro
Or.
Mae Martin
That's true. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Who cuts Biggie's hair?
Fortune Feimster
Jax does.
Tig Notaro
Okay.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Because I see some pieces that need to be evened out with clippers or.
Fortune Feimster
He's been all over the place lately, so.
Tig Notaro
Well, he's beautiful, of course, but I just see some little need to be evened out. Happy to do that.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And would you like me to cut your hair?
Fortune Feimster
Get that kid out.
Tig Notaro
You would let me cut your hair?
Mae Martin
Yeah, I would. Yeah. You would tidy up the back and sides? Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh.
Mae Martin
Cuz, look at the back. Just this chunk.
Tig Notaro
Oh, bless you. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Mae Martin
Oh, no, really, it's bad.
Fortune Feimster
Well, I wouldn't notice it if you didn't tell us to look, but it's just. It's just like a diagonal right now.
Mae Martin
Should I show the camera?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, why not?
Tig Notaro
I wouldn't want to show that.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, there's scissors right there.
Mae Martin
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
You're going to have a handsome haircut.
Mae Martin
Do you think you could even it out with this? Just big old chunky scissors.
Tig Notaro
Big old chunky scissors.
Fortune Feimster
Big old chunky scissors. You heard that song before?
Tig Notaro
So we have horror films.
Mae Martin
Big old chunky scissors.
Fortune Feimster
Big old chunky scissors. Oh, hi and bye. That's your friend now.
Tig Notaro
Yes. We're scared this has turned into a horror film.
Fortune Feimster
Tig gave Biggie some apple earlier. So I see that you have one picture.
Mae Martin
What if there was a horror movie where the killer sang Big Old chunky Scissors?
Tig Notaro
That's how I started is I cut Max and Finn's hair with big old kid scissors.
Mae Martin
Oh, no way.
Tig Notaro
Yes, it did look good. But here's the thing. It took me five years.
Mae Martin
We don't have that kind of time.
Tig Notaro
I can't do it right now.
Fortune Feimster
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Tig Notaro
It took me five years to. Now be real quick. Like, I can just.
Mae Martin
Oh, your snips and snips.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I'm just like, oh, that's nice. Stephanie said I give her dad the best haircut she's ever seen him have since she's known.
Fortune Feimster
That's amazing.
Mae Martin
I had a hairdresser in England. Not Debbie, but this guy who I remember one day, he was like, I'm pretty nervous because in a couple months I'm going on Britain's Got Talent, I think. Yeah. Or the X Factor. One of those. But it was Simon Cowell judging and he was so nervous and he had a piano in the shop and he'd practice playing and stuff. And I was like, I hope this goes well for him. He was pinning everything on it. And then I. I remember him coming back after the audition, like the next month, being like, they didn't like it next time. But, man, it takes balls to go on those shows.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Did you cousin went and auditioned for really one of those shows. And she was laughing so hard at, like, how she did not have, like, a story, a compelling story. Oh, yeah. The same as.
Mae Martin
Yeah, pretty much like, they. Yeah, you. You need a compelling story. Yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Have you ever done those comedy competitions when you started out?
Fortune Feimster
I did Last Comic Stand. Did you do that?
Tig Notaro
Oh, yeah, I did that, too.
Mae Martin
Did you? Is that televised? Yeah, yeah. How'd you do?
Tig Notaro
I won every year.
Fortune Feimster
It was my first TV thing. So, yeah, for me, it was great.
Mae Martin
It's so scary when you got, like, three minutes.
Fortune Feimster
I know.
Tig Notaro
And then they edit.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
Edit out the flow and fully edit.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, you know what I'm about to do with my mom?
Mae Martin
What?
Fortune Feimster
Speaking of hair, I'm gonna take her wig shopping.
Mae Martin
No way.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And I'm wondering if I should get her a wig that looks like my hair.
Mae Martin
Oh, that would be good.
Tig Notaro
We should get her a wig of each of our hair, including Thomas' and a mustache.
Fortune Feimster
And she could change wigs.
Mae Martin
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Tig Notaro
Got your toothbrush, your hairbrush, any other sort of brush you need packed and ready to go before leaving town for your summer vacation.
Mae Martin
Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings varies, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
Tig Notaro
This episode of Handsome is brought to you by Wild Grain. Wild Grain is the first baked from frozen subscription box for artisanal breads, pastries and pastas.
Mae Martin
Wild Grain really outdid themselves with this month's box, which I was thrilled to receive. A half dozen raspberry lemon biscuits, the perfect breakfast treat. I also got ham and cheese croissants for when I'm in more of a savory mood.
Fortune Feimster
And for dinner, you know, I had.
Mae Martin
To get a couple of their slow fermented margherita pizzas. The dough is so fresh and everything was delish.
Tig Notaro
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Mae Martin
For a limited time, Wild Grain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box, plus free croissants in every box when you go to wildgrain.com handsome to start your subscription. You heard me. Free croissants in every box and $30 off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com handsome. That's wildgrain.com handsome. Or you can use promo code Handsome at checkout.
You know him. You love him.
Tig Notaro
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Fortune Feimster
That's right, May.
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Tig Notaro
So fill us in. Maybe some people don't know what's going on.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, my mom has cancer. I. I'm sorry. I can't.
Tig Notaro
It's uncomfortable.
Fortune Feimster
I laugh, but I'm uncomfortable.
Mae Martin
Yeah, I understand the laugh.
Fortune Feimster
It's not funny.
Tig Notaro
No.
Fortune Feimster
But yes. So. Well, she didn't know about this when we saw her at the Ryman.
Mae Martin
I know. We just saw.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, you just seen her. Which. I'm so glad. We've had some, like, really cool experiences lately. Not that she's going anywhere, hopefully. Yes. My mom got diagnosed, like, a month ago with. I don't. I can't say the long name, but it's bile duct cancer. It's in the bile ducts in her liver. And it's a very rare cancer, very aggressive. It's stage two. She, like, randomly found it. She went to urgent care for, like, shortness of breath, and they didn't see any. She thought she might have a blood clot. They didn't see any. And they said, we can do this other test with dye, but you don't need it. And for whatever reason, she's like, no, I want it. And they did it. And she Had a mass about the size of an orange, small orange on her liver. And they were like, this is not good. They set up the time stage four because it was so big, and she had a bunch of tests, and so she has this. It's not great. It is not curable, but they can be treated. The prognosis? Who knows? It could anywhere from a year to six years.
Tig Notaro
Some people longer or even longer.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, it could be 12, 15. So we're just.
Mae Martin
You're.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
In that phase of, like an onslaught of information, like, wading through it.
Fortune Feimster
And she didn't want to talk about it for the first month, though, you know, so I. I kept it to myself and. And then it was funny, like, she started to slowly want to talk about it to people. And I went home to visit her and, you know, she'd been saying she didn't want to talk about it, and someone said, you know, hey, Ginger, good to see you. How are you doing? I have cancer. And I was like, wait, what just happened? And so then she told me to share the story because she just needed help and information, and especially because it's such a rare. Yeah, it's rare. And all these people have rallied around her, and she's got all these great people in her hometown, like, saying they'll take her to any appointment. She's got a. She's starting chemo or by this time has started chemo. And we got her a set up with a great doctor at Emory. We're gonna see what happens there. And I don't know all these people. I. I'm trying to compartmentalize right now.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And how is. How is she with. I mean, with my own experience of having cancer, it's so overwhelming. And there's so much information like you're saying. And so is she bringing somebody to her appointments with her?
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
To take notes and.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. She went to one appointment the other day by herself and started crying and.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
Oh.
Mae Martin
Ginge.
Tig Notaro
It's tough.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
So I'm glad she's got you. And people are rallying around.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. So she said she wasn't gonna do that again. She's gonna take some, have somebody go with her. So, like, we have great family down that way that have reached out and a lot of people said they'd go with her.
Mae Martin
Well, if anyone can rock a wig, it's gonna be.
Fortune Feimster
Well, some people are like, oh, it doesn't have. Not everyone loses hair, but pretty much every doctor is like, with what you have your. You're gonna lose hair.
Mae Martin
Right?
Fortune Feimster
You know, she's just, she's scared and. But it's got that fighter mentality and. Yeah. Just unexpected. Did not see this coming. And life is a bit crazy right now and a lot of changes are happening, but just focused on her and getting her better.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
And it makes you so grateful that, yeah, you have all these insane experiences together. Like all these clips of you guys on stage together and then. And then like that we were all just hanging.
Fortune Feimster
I know. Yeah. I was glad we went on a cruise together earlier this year. These cool experiences. The good thing is that, you know, I'll be able to go pop into North Carolina more and spend time with everyone's like, you know, make sure you spend a lot of time together. And I mean, hopefully this, you know, the treatments help her live a much better, longer life and, you know, it would if it were stage two by getting those scans done now there's, I think, hope for, you know, keeping it at bay for a while. A lot of people don't find it till stage four because it's so undetectable. It's so hard to find. And no, usually no symptoms.
Tig Notaro
I mean, really unbelievable that she found it. Yeah. And. But, but she does. I know people are saying, oh, I can go with her, but she has like, I'm gonna go with this person, or I, I have this plan because I just, I would hate for that to sneak up on her again where she doesn't. Like, that's not planned. And I don't know if that, if, if you have family, friends that you could reach out to or be like.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I think so.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I think that's the part that's been tough lately is just like, there's so many people reaching out and so many people wanting to help that I'm. I'm kind of shutting down a little bit. And I'm trying to like, I know I can't. I have to face it, but I'm just trying to like, be like, give me a minute to like, yeah, sort this out. And once I can just kind of wrap my head around everything and what needs to be done, I can help facilitate that stuff because I have cousins and stuff being like, let me talk to you or let me reach. And I'm just like, give me a minute. You know, that's the thing about the cancer situation that I just never realized was all these people reaching out, saying how much, how many tasks there are to do for the person that has the cancer.
Tig Notaro
It's a full time job for the person with cancer. And the community surrounding. Because, I mean, I was one of the very lucky people that had rides everywhere I went, people staying with me, making food for me, and I just don't. And I was so at a point in my life where I was such a different person. It's crazy to think about, but I was just like, I could do everything on my own. I didn't need. You know what I mean? Like, even after surgery, I was like, I didn't. My friends were like, we're gonna stay with you. And I was like, I'm fine. Like, at my place, alone with it and open it. Like, these incisions in my chest, they're like. You can't even lift your arms.
Fortune Feimster
No, I'm fine.
Tig Notaro
I'm good. But it's. You know, it really makes you realize. And I'm like, that's. You kind of need a medical degree to understand everything, and maybe it would be good, aside from even taking notes, to just, I don't know, like a voice memo.
Fortune Feimster
That's what people say.
Tig Notaro
Record the appointments. But for sure, for the emotional support to have somebody there with her, because it is so overwhelming. And while you're taking in all of this crazy information, then your emotions come over you and it'll. It's. It's all. It's so much, you know?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. I mean, she's at the age where most of her friends are retired, you know, so that's helpful.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So a lot of them are out. When in our church, like, had a. Made a whole list of, like, people signing up to volunteer.
Tig Notaro
Oh, great, great, great.
Fortune Feimster
So I think she'll, you know, be in good hands. And my brothers are out that way too, and they're. They're their wives.
Tig Notaro
And how far away are they from your mother?
Fortune Feimster
One's 45 minutes and one's six hours.
Tig Notaro
Okay.
Fortune Feimster
So.
Tig Notaro
Huh.
Mae Martin
It must be too. Like, everyone knows someone who's had cancer has had some encounter with cancer in their life. And so everybody has different. I'm sure, like, tips and thoughts on it. Like. Like, everyone has different.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. It's pretty.
Mae Martin
It's overwhelming.
Fortune Feimster
I will say it's pretty incredible. Who?
Tig Notaro
Oh, fortune.
Mae Martin
Love you, bud.
Fortune Feimster
Sorry.
Tig Notaro
No, I think, you know, there's, like, you said, there's so much going on right now.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And this is like, no joke.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
And you need support.
Fortune Feimster
I was just trying to say, like, it's been pretty crazy in a good way. How many people have shown up.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
For me and. Yeah, for her and.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Just like. And people. I don't even know that well, yeah. You know.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I've been really pretty amazed, actually, at just like, how many people just care and want to help.
Tig Notaro
People just instinctually want to help, I think. And of course, knowing her and people, I mean, of course people want to help her and that's. I hope she's somebody that's open to.
Fortune Feimster
Help very much so. That's why she had me finally tell people about it because she was like, I need help.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And. And I've just been, like, really grateful for everybody who's. I mean, even my, like, good friends are like, just calling her.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Like, talking with her, like.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I don't know that part. Just like, really.
Mae Martin
That's really so much. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And this. And I. And I've made new friends who've been like, what can I do? How can I help, like, people. Strangers that I don't know or like, I mean, this woman that saw the post, like, reached out to this unbelievable, you know, cancer doctor in Atlanta to like, please, please help and look at her information. I mean, just like, yeah, friends sending, like, here, here are the things to eat, to donate. You know, here are the things to do. Here's tips. I mean, it's been like. I hate that it's under these circumstances, but just seeing people, it's heartening. Come together like that.
Mae Martin
It's hard to, like, remember and feel that you have that support network day to day. And then when something happens and everyone comes out of the woodwork like that and you're like, oh, I guess that was there all along. And I didn't know that people have my back.
Tig Notaro
I've been doing my hand off of you.
Fortune Feimster
No, I love it. I've been. This year's been a. Has tested me in many ways, but people have just freaking showed up for me and in ways I could have never expected. So it's like, just what's gotten me through it. Yeah. So, you know, she gonna fight it. Yeah. Do everything we can and she'll fight it. And then she's.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
You know, she'll fight it.
Tig Notaro
But as you said, she has an entire army behind her.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I mean, of. Maybe she'll do a family, friends, neighbors, townies, strangers, every. I mean.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And to be hooked up with such an incredible doctor and I have the.
Fortune Feimster
Means to go, you know, like this, this weekend. I. Last minute I was like, I'm just gonna go fly out there. You know, I'll go see her and it's not the journey. It's funny, I've this year just from things going on with me. I've talked to her every day and before we even knew about the cancer, and we've just gotten some. We've always been close, and especially in my adult years, but we've just talked every day. And she's gotten me through some tough times. And so I. Entering into this phase of my life where I'm at right now, I was like, oh, we're gonna go do fun things and, you know, and have some fun mom, daughter times. And this is just not really the journey. I thought she didn't think this either, but that. That she'd be on at the moment. So that's just life, though. But, yeah.
Tig Notaro
One of my favorite things in the world, and I know I've said it on this podcast, and I say it to everybody in times like these, but what's so amazing is one of my favorite things that Ram Dass has ever said is that we're all just walking each other home. And I just love it so much because it's like, everybody and home just meaning any point in your life. Just like I experienced that outreach and it changed my life. Like, I really don't know who I was before I was so sick. And, man, were people walking me home. And, man, do I want to help people walk home. You know, it's just like, no, I'm.
Mae Martin
Going, oh, man, that's nice.
Tig Notaro
It's true, like, when you look around, whether it's strangers or your family or friends, and it's just like, it's such a beautiful thing. And it is. Yeah. But I'm relieved to know that she has so many people.
Fortune Feimster
I'm very grateful. She's from. We're from a small town where everybody really looks out for each other. So that makes me feel much better, but that her facing this is not going to be alone.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Yeah. That's very reassuring.
Fortune Feimster
What a year.
Mae Martin
I mean, if we were on a.
Tig Notaro
Like, what, a month?
Mae Martin
If we were on, like, a talk show or something, we'd go to a commercial break right now.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But we can't.
Mae Martin
We can't. So we got.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. They decide what our commercial breaks are.
Fortune Feimster
Laughing awkwardly. Meanwhile, like a little baby.
Tig Notaro
Biggie doesn't know what the hell.
Fortune Feimster
He's just enjoying his life.
Tig Notaro
But just thinking about the Apple piece I gave him.
Fortune Feimster
That's right.
Tig Notaro
Well, Fortune, we are here for you.
Fortune Feimster
We are.
Mae Martin
We love you. We're sending Ginger so much love and.
Tig Notaro
Support, and we're here for walking home.
Fortune Feimster
Thank you for that. I appreciate it.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Well, we'll just rally behind her get her through this.
Tig Notaro
Absolutely we will.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Isn't that right, Biggie?
Tig Notaro
Biggie can't talk.
Fortune Feimster
What a podcast. We go from being ridiculous and insane to look at us sharing feelings.
Mae Martin
What a podcast.
Tig Notaro
What a podcast.
Mae Martin
But, you know, I'm like, hungry for the real stuff. Like, I.
Fortune Feimster
What is it about?
Mae Martin
It's good to get earnest sometimes.
It is.
Fortune Feimster
But why? Why did I laugh at being so uncomfortable?
Mae Martin
Well, take the stand up thing. If I have cancer, like, it's a natural kind. I think, like the almost the absurdity of just the shocks of life, that.
Tig Notaro
Was what my whole special was, was just like. Cause, you know, in my run of months that that stuff happened, it was like. It was hell upon hell. Like, you know, my mother tripping and dying and my breakup and all the diseases I had. And then I was like, it just seemed. It was relentless. And then when the doctor was like, you have invasive cancer. I was like.
Mae Martin
What?
Tig Notaro
I was like, but it can't happen like this. I'm like, I'm in hell. I can't eat food. And my mother's gone and my girlfriend's gone. I was like, how could I possibly have cancer? And I don't know if I've shared this on the show, but Ira Glass from this American Life, he was saying, you know, people think random means sporadic and spread out. And he said, sometimes random can be all things in one cluster. Yeah, in a cluster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that really sounds stuck with me because I thought, like in the first three things that happened in those four or five months, I was like, well, life's just gonna be smooth sailing now because I've gone through everything and then it just. And I don't mean to say that, like there's more for sure coming, but it's just. It's like there's no gauge. There's no. It's just random.
Fortune Feimster
Random.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you think, oh, it won't be me, or, oh, it won't be my loved one. It won't be my relationships or my health or whatever it is. And it's like, it's all of us.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And look at you now, though.
Mae Martin
Exactly.
Tig Notaro
Look at me now. I mean. Yep. I mean, life is good, but I still have many challenges, like everybody does, but I have a very solid foundation in my life with my health and my marriage and my kids and all that work and whatever. But within those areas, there's still always rough spots.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, for sure.
Tig Notaro
But, yeah, I'm very thankful. Very deeply thankful. So.
Mae Martin
Well, you let us know what's helpful.
Fortune Feimster
I will.
Mae Martin
Okay.
Fortune Feimster
I just wanted to touch Tig back up the shoulder.
Tig Notaro
That feels a little different.
Mae Martin
Is that a Buck Mason T shirt?
Tig Notaro
Tig? It's rag and bone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mae Martin
Sorry.
Tig Notaro
No, no, no.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, that took it out of me.
Mae Martin
Yeah, you take a break, Fortune. You sip your beverage.
Tig Notaro
Let's go to commercial.
Mae Martin
Yeah, we'll go to commercial.
Fortune Feimster
I don't even drink soda. What am I. Oh, yeah. I like, don't drink soda. And I'm just like, I'll go gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp. I will say I have lost a lot of weight because I've barely felt like eating for two months. Hey, so hot girl Summer.
Tig Notaro
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Tig Notaro
The way I shop for groceries.
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But you, you feel good like aside from any sort of emotional turmoil.
Fortune Feimster
I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I'm, I'm not terrible. I'm not great. I have compartment. Compartmentalized a little bit just because there's things going on in my life but.
Mae Martin
Just like day, day by day.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I think I'm just trying to find the light, you know, like focus on the happy things and.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
What are, what are the good things in my life and focusing on that.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
You know, throwing myself into work a bit, but not to the point where like I'm ignoring everything and just pretending like everything's good. I'm, I, I'm, you know, talk to a therapist and just trying to like feel the things when it comes up.
Mae Martin
And you know, lucky that we love what we do. Like, can you imagine if you had all this going on and you hated your job or something?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Like, I mean it's trick. It is tricky like being on tour, having all this stuff going on and just, and then been like, okay, here we go.
Mae Martin
Yeah. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Be silly. But I, I'm not forcing myself to. I don't go out there going, well, you gotta do this.
Mae Martin
Right.
Fortune Feimster
I genuinely am so happy to see everybody. Yeah. And to make people laugh makes me feel good.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So that having that in my life is probably what's getting me through is just like being in those theaters, feeling that love.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
The community.
Fortune Feimster
So kind.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
That is what's moving me forward.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
That's really spending time, you know, with my mom and, and yeah. I'm focusing on, I've, you know, had re. I've always had my friends, but just reconnecting with them in a way. That's meaningful. I've had some really meaningful conversations with a lot of people lately. Deep, deep ones that I just hadn't had in a while. Everything had been kind of surface for a bit just because I was so busy that I've really allowed myself to connect and just. Just get to the. Get to it with people. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Those are the best, those conversations.
Mae Martin
Kind of like when we all talk about Pontis.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, just like that.
Mae Martin
And the puff.
Fortune Feimster
Just. Just cutting the. And sharing. Sharing what's important, I think.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Where I'm at right now. Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So, yeah, I'm. I'm gonna be okay.
Mae Martin
More than okay.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And I was just thinking when I was. When you were emotional and I reached out to touch you, I'm very curious. You know, some people don't like to be touched when they're emotional, and then other people do. Where do you guys stand on that?
Mae Martin
I want to be curled up, held like a baby and held like a baby.
Tig Notaro
But, like, if I was sitting next to you or Fortune was or Thomas, you'd want us to snuggle you, like, hold you.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, touch me in some way? For sure. I think.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
You're such a natural human.
Tig Notaro
Were you like, oh, boy, this is awes. When I touched your arm. Okay. And then was there a part of you that was like, why isn't she holding me?
Mae Martin
Why isn't she spooning me?
Fortune Feimster
Well, I knew Biggie was getting in the way of that. Otherwise I would be in your lap with you brushing my hair.
Tig Notaro
But it is so interesting.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
You know, if I'm throwing up, I don't want anyone touching me.
Tig Notaro
Good to know.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would probably be. I don't need that.
Mae Martin
I don't need someone holding my hair.
Fortune Feimster
But I'm a physical touch person for sure.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. So this was okay. It wasn't too much, too little?
Fortune Feimster
It was perfect.
Tig Notaro
Okay.
Mae Martin
Could you feel me wanting to.
Fortune Feimster
I could totally feel it.
Tig Notaro
And could you feel Biggie not knowing anything?
Fortune Feimster
I feel the love from all of you. Thank you for letting me be vulnerable.
Tig Notaro
Of course. Thanks for sharing that.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. There's been a lot going on and just trying to move through life as.
Mae Martin
Yes.
Tig Notaro
As a person and through work and.
Mae Martin
And I think that's part of why people like podcasts because. Because. Yeah. Even though. Yeah. You have to kind of go with someone through all the ups and downs of their life and. Yeah. Even in a subtle way and.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah. It's a really long term relation.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. There's other Stuff going on that I'll talk about in time, but.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
One good.
Mae Martin
One day at a time.
Fortune Feimster
I need this sun kiss.
Tig Notaro
You drain that pot one chama at a time.
Mae Martin
Yeah, I saw. I read a quote that was like. It's like I was so scared that if I let the dam burst, like, it would just. Everything would keep flowing out of me. And then I realized, like, what's wrong with being a river? Like, it's so nice. Let it flow out. Yeah, yeah, let it flow. Let it flow. Gosh. We get to our question.
Fortune Feimster
Let's get to our question. Okay, cool. I'm actually very excited about today's question asker because she is a dear friend of mine. We're on the show fubar together. That will be out or. It's already out. It's on Netflix right now. Today's question. Ask her. She's an actress who was nominated for a freaking Oscar this past year for her role as Joan Baez in the Bob Dylan biopic A Complete Unknown. And she's also been Top Gun Maverick. She was the female fighter pilot.
Mae Martin
Yes.
Fortune Feimster
And of course, fubar. So Monica Barbara is asking today's question.
Tig Notaro
Let's hear it, Monica.
Mae Martin
I would have so many questions for her. I want to know about playing Joan Baez. Did she get to hang out with Joan Baez? I want to know.
Tig Notaro
Did she.
Fortune Feimster
They did meet.
Mae Martin
Really?
Fortune Feimster
I will say Monica blows me away. She's. She's so wonderful. Such a lovely human, but she's so talented. She was a ballet dancer. Tisch and Tidge. What's Tidge?
Mae Martin
What is that?
Fortune Feimster
The nyu, right? Yeah, nyu. And like, for fubar, she does all these crazy stunts. Top Gun Maverick. She had to, like, be in those planes for real. In the planes and catching GS or whatever it's called. Like, you pass out and throw up and all this shit she was doing.
Mae Martin
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
You had to train your. They trained their bodies for, like, a year and a half for that.
Mae Martin
What about.
Fortune Feimster
So she filmed that, and then for Joan Baez, she had to learn 11 songs that did not play the guitar. Had to teach herself to play guitar.
Mae Martin
Wow.
Fortune Feimster
And she sang all those songs. So there's nothing that girl can't do. And this is just the beginning for her. She has got. She's going many places, and I love her. She's such a good friend.
Mae Martin
Love it.
F
Hey, guys. Really exciting to get to be a part of your amazing podcast. Okay, so my question is if you woke up and discovered you had the ability to talk to animals, what would you do? And bonus points if you have an answer in addition to probably talk to your pets.
Fortune Feimster
Okay, my pet. Right away.
Mae Martin
Okay. Well, I don't have pets. So my, my first thought was there's been a lot of conspiracies lately about what's going on with the orca, the dolphin, the whale.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
Mae Martin
Cause they.
Tig Notaro
Oh, they're communicating.
Mae Martin
They're communicating and they're rising up. They're rising up and I think there's something that's come out that's like. Places have made it illegal to communicate with dolphins. I'm like, what don't they want us to know? Like, what are they trying to tell us? And maybe there's aliens under the water. I want to talk to the dolphins, the whales and the orca and ask them what's up. Ask them what the hell is going on.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
There's gotta be a lot of secrets in the ocean.
Mae Martin
100%. There's GHOS, there's bigh hot goss. Yeah. Who's who. But those orca are so well organized and they're like bring. Taking down boats and stuff.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
But they're like breaching the water and. And just slamming these boats everywhere.
Tig Notaro
They've had it with all the pollution in the water.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, I talked.
Fortune Feimster
That's a good one.
Mae Martin
Yeah. I'm amazed we haven't yet with AI figured out how to translate their.
Fortune Feimster
What they're saying. I mean, I only have ever thought about talking with Biggie.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I don't know if I'd get much out of him though.
Tig Notaro
I don't think you would.
Fortune Feimster
Don't you think he's kind of simple?
Mae Martin
He's a simple man.
Fortune Feimster
He's like. I'm hungry.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
No, I'm thirsty.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Now I want you to. Yeah. Give me a rub on my belly. And now I want to go on a ride in the car so I can sleep.
Mae Martin
What about like around your house? You got squirrels, possums.
Tig Notaro
Oh, good question. May.
Mae Martin
Thanks.
Fortune Feimster
I don't. No, I don't. There's a lot of animals around, so. So I don't have. There's some birds I wouldn't mind. Not the squawky ones that won't are so annoying. But like those really beautiful birds with like a little bit of red in them. They pop around.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I want to know like what they're about. I have had. I have friends who have like in their hippie dippy way, have thought a loved one was coming to them via a bird.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I would be Interested to know from those birds if that's the case.
Mae Martin
Yeah. Like, does that ever happen and they're like, oh, yeah, I was someone's uncle or whatever.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
But I definitely want. I would like some information from Biggie.
Mae Martin
What do you need to know?
Fortune Feimster
I just want to know, like, how much he loves me.
Mae Martin
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I wanna. I just want him to tell me.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And if he just spread his paws out like this, this much.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, that would be cute, too.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
But I also want to know if there's anything he. He wants that he doesn't have.
Mae Martin
Right.
Tig Notaro
I can answer that for him.
Fortune Feimster
Are there any needs that's not. That aren't being met?
Tig Notaro
No, he's fine. Maybe he needs pants. I don't know.
Mae Martin
Maybe because sometimes little jeans.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Come on.
Fortune Feimster
Or. But he could tell us if he doesn't like him.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
See, that was partly what I wanted when I had kids, to dress them up. I want. I was like. When I told Stephanie, I was like, I just want to put little pants on them.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Like, that is what I want. I just want to have kids so I can put little pants on them.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And we don't anymore. They put their own pants on. But we did for a while and it was really.
Fortune Feimster
I love it when kids dress up in little suits.
Mae Martin
Oh, yeah. Really good.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. If you love that. I mean, I know my kids are 8, but I can show you some little ties and suits and what have you.
Fortune Feimster
Little ties and suits?
Tig Notaro
Yes.
Mae Martin
Would you be talking to Kitty City? Pretty much.
Tig Notaro
No. I think I know what's going on there.
Mae Martin
Yeah. You get the interpersonal dynamics of that group.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fluff is like just the raging bitch in town that keeps everyone in order. Just. And Linus and Skip are just, you know, kind of tiptoeing around her, but they all travel in a group, you know, but she just really whips everyone into shape and leads the way. I would be more curious to see what apes say about us evolving from apes.
Mae Martin
Well, do you think they know that?
Tig Notaro
Well, that's why I want to ask.
Fortune Feimster
What. I mean, do you think.
Tig Notaro
Do you think. Yeah. I mean, I don't know.
Mae Martin
Do these birds.
Tig Notaro
I mean, I don't know.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But I'm curious. You know, all the humans, like, yeah, we came from apes. No, we didn't. Well, let's talk to an ape and see what. What's the. What do they think?
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
What's their theory?
Mae Martin
But they can sign language a lot, right?
Fortune Feimster
Like, really?
Mae Martin
Yeah. Well, Coco the gorilla Was so. And. But mainly it seems like they're. Yeah, they're just boning and. And boning and living in little communities and fighting and.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
I wonder if they'd be like, yeah, how come you had to overcomplicate things? Like, they'd be like, our life is pretty good.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And like, if they've been. You know, if they were like, oh, yeah. When my grandmother was alive, she told me about, like, her neighbor that she saw actually become human, you know, like, you know, my grandmother was alive during that time.
Mae Martin
Right.
Tig Notaro
You know, or my great, great, great grandmother. Like, probably a lot of grades.
Mae Martin
That graph of. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I haven't really thought about communicating with any other animals. I don't know. I feel like you would be in good standing with most of the animals because you're a vegan. Yeah, they appreciate that.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
They'd have a word with me.
Fortune Feimster
They'd have a word with me.
Mae Martin
Although they're eating each other.
Fortune Feimster
Fair point.
Mae Martin
Sometimes.
Fortune Feimster
I don't know, but it would be kind of cool to hear from the animals. Like, the Lion King. Yeah, we can hear what they're saying.
Mae Martin
When I was really little, my mom read me Charlotte's Web.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
I was like two. Like, I could barely talk yet. And then she tells the story that she, like, finished the book and she wasn't even sure if I was following it. And I just started bawling and bawling. But I think that's because the way she was reading it was probably really sad. Like, her tone of voice is probably like, charlotte died.
Fortune Feimster
Like.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah.
Mae Martin
You know, But. Yeah. I always then used to think about spiders talking and pig. Pigs, babe.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Did you just call Fortune babe?
Mae Martin
I've been thinking about pigs, babe. I've never called anyone babe.
Fortune Feimster
I have.
Mae Martin
You haven't.
Fortune Feimster
I like nicknames. Babe, love, sug.
Mae Martin
None of those three I could do. I said, baby. I do, baby.
Tig Notaro
I don't do, baby.
Mae Martin
Really? Not even, like, in bed.
Tig Notaro
I say, I say to Stephanie, my love. I say, how are you, my love?
Mae Martin
That's nice.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I say my love to friends, though, too.
Tig Notaro
Oh, well, look at you just throwing it around.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, my love.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, my love. How are you, my love?
Mae Martin
Please start texting me now.
Fortune Feimster
That's like, I think a Southern thing. We always go, hey, Suge, do you.
Mae Martin
Say that to your. To your bros, too? Like, would you text?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, my guy friend. I've had a number of, like, bro y guy friends have texted me, you know, about my mom or whatever, and I'm just like, thanks, love.
Mae Martin
Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's nice.
Fortune Feimster
Don't worry, I'll get you.
Mae Martin
I'll get you, boo. Yeah, look at that. I'll get you, boo. My friend Joe, who's staying with me calls me all kinds of things. Good old Joe. He calls me, like, cheeky baby.
Fortune Feimster
You just like affection, right? Both physical and.
Mae Martin
Yes.
Fortune Feimster
Verbal.
Mae Martin
Give it all to me. Yeah. That's what I want.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, your love language.
Mae Martin
I like giving it too.
Tig Notaro
Your love language is actually love language.
Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Should we hear Monica's answer?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, let's do it.
Tig Notaro
I don't think we should.
Mae Martin
Yeah, you know what?
Tig Notaro
Actually, Just kidding. Monica, we want to hear. But before you answer, do I look like Tom Cruise?
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah.
Mae Martin
Yes, you do.
Fortune Feimster
Monica would have a hard time. Monica not knowing that you aren't. Aren't her co star.
Mae Martin
You really do.
Fortune Feimster
Hearing that. Training for Top Con really was, like, insane.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, what they had to do.
Tig Notaro
It'S a real deal.
Fortune Feimster
I could never be cast in a movie like that.
Mae Martin
It's insane. Yeah, you do it. You'd fly in those planes, no problem. Puking, passing out.
Fortune Feimster
Puking and passing out. You have to train your body to be able to take it.
Tig Notaro
I can't even fly on a commercial flight without being like, okay, how was that?
Fortune Feimster
She's a badass, though. I'm telling. And the fubar, you guys should check it out. Fubar on Netflix. It's a fun, silly show. It's. It's one of those things you can watch and. And not take too seriously, but it's like, good, fun entertainment with the Arnold Schwarzenegger. I get to shoot guns and I. I get in fights. Yeah, you do run from explosions.
Mae Martin
I just saw the trailer and it looked hilarious.
Fortune Feimster
For the new season. Yeah, yeah, it's. I was in Epsom Salt bass a lot.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
The first couple months. And. But yeah, it's. It's action comedy, so it's not meant to be taken seriously.
Mae Martin
I'm gonna take it deadly seriously.
Tig Notaro
Okay.
F
So first of all, I think I'd have a really long heart to heart with my dog. Try to really understand where he's coming from and what happened to him before I adopted him.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah, that's a good question, because.
F
I think that would inform a lot for me. And then also, you know, I'd have to hear him out. But I really think I'd try to get him to understand that when I leave him at the house, it's never forever.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
F
He seems very confused about that. Every single time I leave and then every single time I come home, he seems to have at some point, thought he was being abandoned for life. And I'd love to just ease his fears if. If you know, in any way possible and just, like, chat. I'm so curious what he thinks day to day.
Tig Notaro
I think.
F
I think I'm curious about it.
Mae Martin
Okay.
F
Beyond pets. I would really love to swim in the ocean and talk to humpback whales.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, there you go.
Fortune Feimster
That.
F
I think. I think that would be. Or an octopus.
Fortune Feimster
Oh. Because that would be really.
F
They're brilliant.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So.
Mae Martin
It'S all about the ocean.
F
Would be a really fascinating conversation. I don't know why, but that's what I think.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I used to.
Fortune Feimster
And there's her doggy.
Tig Notaro
This is sweet.
Mae Martin
Oh, my God. Come on.
Fortune Feimster
What would you say?
Tig Notaro
I used to think that my cat. Pre Kitty City, this other cat I had. I was convinced that she thought that when I left for the day. I used to do this as a joke, but it was true that when I left for the day, that I was just standing on the other side of the door for 12 hours.
Mae Martin
Right. So she was just like.
Tig Notaro
And then I'd just come back inside. And then when I'd come back inside, she'd be, like, terrified and do that sideways crab walk that cats do when they're scared. Yeah. So. But that's. That was a really good answer.
Mae Martin
Well, yeah. And it made me think about that Greenland shark that they found that is 400 years old. It's been around since the 1700s, this shark, like, since Napoleon times. You'd want to talk to that guy.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Yeah. Just blind and just floating through the ocean. It's so old.
Tig Notaro
Still alive.
Mae Martin
Yeah, I think so. They tagged it and everything. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Those are good questions. I would. Both of what she said with the pets. I would want to know. I would love to know where he. What his story was before he was found on the street.
Tig Notaro
On Earth would anyone leave this dog on the street?
Fortune Feimster
He had no tags and he was not chipped.
Tig Notaro
Wow.
Fortune Feimster
So I would love to know what.
Tig Notaro
Happened and did you find him and.
Fortune Feimster
Snow the Humane Society. Okay. And then we found him. Okay. There. But I. I doubt he was out there long. He's so cute. He probably got snatched pretty quick.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And then same. He cries and cannot. Biggie, cannot settle down. We're not home.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And it stresses him out, and I hate that. I do wish I could just be like.
Tig Notaro
Just sleep.
Fortune Feimster
I promise. Yeah. You're okay. And we're coming home.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Poor little pup.
Mae Martin
I know.
Fortune Feimster
I'll look in the cameras and he'll just be like. You can see his head going back, like he's howling.
Mae Martin
Oh, no.
Fortune Feimster
It breaks my heart.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God.
Mae Martin
But what if you actually got the sound of the cameras and he was just going.
Fortune Feimster
He's just singing.
Tig Notaro
Or if you got a hold of the cameras, the audio, and he was like, woohoo.
Fortune Feimster
House to myself. Yeah. He does not like being alone.
Mae Martin
Do any of us? Some people do, actually. I do like being alone. If it's late at night and everyone's asleep and I'm in my house and I know everyone in the city's asleep and I'm playing my guitar, I like that a lot.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Mae Martin
But in the daytime, I get a little.
Fortune Feimster
Really?
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I don't like being alone too much.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I guess a nice mix is good.
Mae Martin
A nice mix is good. Let's land there.
Fortune Feimster
Balance.
Mae Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Man, what an episode.
Mae Martin
What a podcast. What a podcast.
Fortune Feimster
I'm sorry it wasn't as silly today.
Mae Martin
Never apologize. Never apologize.
Fortune Feimster
But it was nice talking with you guys.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Mae Martin
Always a pledge.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, Always a pledge. What if I started talking like that? Always a pledge. See, it didn't even sound weird to you?
Mae Martin
No. I was like, yeah. Finally takes talking, right?
Tig Notaro
Finally something I can understand.
Mae Martin
I am at Largo tonight, June 17, doing music and telling stories and with very cool musical guests. So if there's tickets left, come to that. And then other than that, I'm not doing any live shows for a little bit, but check out my album IMATV on Spotify. Or you could watch Feelgood on Netflix.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. So I'm basically just working out the new stuff, having some fun, silly shows at Largo and Dynasty typewriter. Go to tignotaro.com what do you have going on? Fortune. Anything?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. If you want to come laugh with me and let all our sorrows go for an hour and a half. June 20th, Lexington, Kentucky. Knoxville, Tennessee. On the 21st, Asheville, Lincoln, California. Edmonton and Canada. San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, Richmond, D.C. portland, Maine. Boston, Burlington, Mobile. I'm everywhere.
Mae Martin
You're everywhere.
Tig Notaro
Always everywhere.
Fortune Feimster
Everywhere. But listen, I am so grateful to people coming to my shows and getting me through this time and all the lovely messages people are sending me. It's. It's really nice. We love, appreciate you guys.
Mae Martin
Yeah, love you guys.
Tig Notaro
We appreciate you. We are all behind you and Ginger.
Fortune Feimster
Let's go, Ginger.
Tig Notaro
One million percent. And thanks for listening to the podcast. Please subscribe, subscribe to the show. Also, subscribe to the YouTube channel, where you can see our beautiful faces on.
Fortune Feimster
You can see me crying and wiping my nose.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, head on over to YouTube.
Fortune Feimster
Who doesn't want to miss that?
Mae Martin
And I had to cry today as well.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, you got teary eyed.
Mae Martin
Yeah, you can see my bad haircut.
Tig Notaro
It's a good haircut. I'll fix it though. Also Share an episode with a friend and help us build this very handsome community. Share this episode Share this episode Give them a room taste of what it usually is like.
Fortune Feimster
They're like, God this is sad.
Tig Notaro
Well, until next time, shall we keep it handsome?
Mae Martin
Handsome is hosted by Me May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette.
Tig Notaro
Email us@handomepodmail.com and please follow us on.
Mae Martin
Social media at Handsomepod.
Fortune Feimster
What a podcast.
Mae Martin
What a podcast. That was a Headgum Podcast.
Tig Notaro
Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.
Mae Martin
Like, you know to check that you've got a few books to prop your laptop up on before taking that important video meeting.
Fortune Feimster
You don't want everyone to be looking.
Mae Martin
Up your nose on the call.
Tig Notaro
Check in first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois Hey Gorge, it's me.
Gottmik and me, Violet Chachki, and we want you to listen to our podcast no Gorge now on Headgum. Each episode we will be bringing you vlogs, answering burning questions, discussing what's going on right now, and diving into all things fashion, hookups, gossip and more with past guests such as Heidi Klum and Dita Von Teese. No Gorge always keeps things hot. Listen to no Gorge on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Thursday by Gorgeous.
Handsome Podcast Episode Summary: "Monica Barbaro Asks About Talking to Animals"
Release Date: June 17, 2025
Host/Authors: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
The episode begins with a light-hearted conversation about personal grooming and haircuts. Mae Martin shares her humorous struggles with cutting her own hair, leading to an amusing exchange about stimming behaviors and personal habits.
The hosts laugh over Mae's unconventional haircut techniques, highlighting their camaraderie and ability to find humor in everyday mishaps.
The tone shifts as Fortune Feimster opens up about her mother's recent diagnosis with a rare and aggressive bile duct cancer. She details the emotional turmoil and the challenges faced by her family during this difficult time.
Fortune discusses the importance of having a support system, describing how friends, family, and even strangers have rallied around her mother. The conversation delves deep into the emotional impact of cancer diagnoses, emphasizing the need for community and emotional support.
The hosts reflect on their own experiences with illness and the significance of being there for loved ones, showcasing the podcast's blend of humor and heartfelt moments.
Following the discussion on cancer, the hosts explore various coping mechanisms and the importance of mental health support. They share personal strategies for handling overwhelming situations and maintaining emotional well-being.
They emphasize the value of therapy, meaningful conversations, and reconnecting with friends as ways to navigate through tough times. The dialogue highlights the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of leaning on others during crises.
Transitioning from personal stories, the hosts address the episode's main question posed by Monica Barbaro: "If you woke up and discovered you had the ability to talk to animals, what would you do?" They offer whimsical and thoughtful responses, blending humor with genuine curiosity.
The discussion ranges from playful imaginings of communicating with marine life to heartfelt desires to understand and comfort their own pets. Mae expresses skepticism about AI translating animal languages, while Fortune contemplates deeper emotional connections with her dog.
Their interactions reflect a balance between light-heartedness and sincere reflection, engaging listeners with relatable fantasies and genuine emotions.
Throughout the episode, the hosts adeptly balance humor with serious topics. After discussing personal challenges, they return to playful banter, including anecdotes about their pets and humorous takes on everyday situations.
This dynamic interplay ensures that the podcast remains engaging, catering to listeners seeking both laughter and meaningful conversations.
As the episode wraps up, the hosts reiterate their support for Fortune Feimster and her mother, emphasizing the strength of their community. They encourage listeners to share the podcast and stay connected, fostering a sense of belonging and mutual support.
The episode concludes on an uplifting note, reinforcing the themes of friendship, resilience, and the importance of embracing both joyous and challenging moments together.
Notable Quotes:
This episode of "Handsome" masterfully navigates the spectrum of human emotions, from humorous mishaps to the profound challenges of dealing with serious illness. Through their candid conversations and supportive interactions, Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin create a relatable and comforting space for listeners.