Nancy Cartwright asks why we're here

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Handsome" — Nancy Cartwright Asks Why We’re Here

Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Date: April 7, 2026
Episode Theme: Exploring the big existential question: “Why are we here?” featuring guest question from Nancy Cartwright (voice of Bart Simpson).

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin dive deep into one of the classic questions of existence, thanks to a query from their friend Nancy Cartwright, the iconic voice of Bart Simpson. The trio navigates the meaning of life, personal stories of acceptance and growth, family, and of course, a hefty serving of their signature playful banter. Expect warmth, candor, philosophical musings, and plenty of laughs, as the Handsome hosts both poke fun at and seriously consider why we’re all here on planet Earth.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Catching Up: Life, Tour Stories & Oscar Gossip

• Mae’s Tour Adventures: Mae is on a bus tour, experiencing cities like Philadelphia and Cleveland for the first time, embracing the local vibes, and even getting called "Mr. Martin" at a hotel. (03:36, 24:11)
  • “It’s insane that I’m a trans immigrant, but I’m a great cheerleader for this country.” – Mae Martin (22:51)
• Oscars Experience: Tig reflects on her film’s nomination and the camaraderie among the team despite not winning.
  • “These are the people I want to do that with, you know? And we walked away going, we need to do more of this.” – Tig Notaro (06:35)
  • Both Tig and Fortune describe low-key after parties, re-entry into real life (including a series of post-Oscars mishaps), and the grounding effect of community.
• Celebrity Encounters: They swap stories about which celebs were most exciting to see. Tig is excited to see old friend Rose Byrne. Fortune mentions running into the Zootopia cast. (09:00)

Standout Mother/Parent Moments

• Heartfelt stories are shared about family acceptance:
  • Fortune recounts how her mother's PFLAG involvement inspired another parent to support their gay son. (30:10)
  • Tig shares an emotional story of her stepdad offering his tie before her wedding, symbolizing acceptance. (33:02)
  • “That was really him seeing you. Yeah. Seeing me, even though I’m not a tie-wearing lesbian.” – Tig Notaro (33:31)
  • Mae reflects on her own parents’ evolution in affirming her gender and identity. (34:06)
  • “The first time my dad said I looked handsome instead of pretty…now they’re like, whoa, you’re looking big and ripped. I’m like, yeah, that’s what I’m going for.” – Mae Martin (34:00)

Fan Connections and “Handsome” Community

• The hosts remark on the special shared language and inside jokes the podcast has cultivated among fans. (19:38)
  • “They’ll be like, really earnestly…‘say hi to Dumpster Tits for me.’” – Mae (19:38)
• Mae has meet-and-greet stories: from couples accidentally calling each other by exes' names to fans interpreting Mae as "king of kink" due to her sex-positive reputation and work. (21:30, 28:08)

The Big Question: “Why Are We Here?”

Nancy Cartwright’s Question (40:11, 40:29):

“What are we all doing here? And what I mean by that is, like, what is happening here on planet Earth? Like, what’s the dealio?”

Hosts' Philosophical Takes (45:03–49:25):

• Tig's Perspective:

  • Drawing on her life upheaval and illness in 2012, Tig centers “being in service to others” and mutual care.
  • Cites Ram Dass: “We’re all just walking each other home.” (46:43)
  • Urges the importance of accepting help and providing it to others, balanced with boundaries.
  • “That’s what you need…that’s what you should be doing with your time: connecting with people.” – Tig (47:57)

• Mae’s Musings:

  • Themes of consciousness, the metaphysical force of love, and the idea that “we’re spiritual beings having a human experience.” (49:25)
  • Wonders about reincarnation, the role of society, and personal evolution.
  • “I have a lot of friends…who are like pseudo-spiritual or make up their own… This is some kind of school of life…” – Mae Martin (45:03)

• Fortune’s Approach:

  • Emphasizes making other people’s journey easier, focusing on kindness, levity, and the positive impact of comedy.
  • “If there’s a way to ease that for anyone, I’m all about that…try to make people laugh.” (48:25)
  • Admits she doesn’t dwell much on existential questions, preferring to simply help others and enjoy the moment. (49:25, 58:44)

Nancy Cartwright’s Answer (54:02)

“I think the reason that we are all here is because, I mean, really, you just have to observe what’s going on. Look at all the different races. Look at all the different kinds of people…Guess what? People need help. So that’s what I feel like I’m here for…I think we’re here to help each other.” – Nancy Cartwright (54:02)

• The hosts agree, connecting this to Buddhist ideas about easing suffering for oneself and others. (54:39)
• “Once you accept that, your mission is to ease suffering for yourself and others.” – Mae (54:43)

Humor, Silliness & Pop Culture

• Simpsons love, comedic influences, and the significance of “silly” both for the hosts and comedians like Conan O’Brien. (42:06–44:19)
• Classic running jokes—inside podcast references, the "king of kink" merch idea, and legendary “cheese in my pocket” gags. (28:08, 62:05)

Existential Curiosity & Psychedelics

• Mae talks about DMT, altered states, and humanity’s drive to search for mystical or cosmic answers. (56:55)
• Fortune and Tig acknowledge but resist the urge to try mind-expanding substances, reflecting their different personalities and approaches to big questions. (58:21)
  • “It seems like people that do that are searching for something…I’ve never felt like I’m searching for something.” – Fortune (58:17–58:26)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We’re all just walking each other home.” – Tig Notaro, quoting Ram Dass (46:43)
• “I think we’re here to help each other. See what you can do about that.” – Nancy Cartwright (54:02)
• “That was really him seeing you. Yeah. Seeing me, even though I’m not a tie-wearing lesbian.” – Tig Notaro (33:31)
• “If there’s a way to ease [the journey] for anyone, I’m all about that.” – Fortune Feimster (48:25)
• “Silly is where it’s at for me.” – Tig Notaro (44:31)
• Mae’s story of accidentally triggering an awkward moment during a fan meet-and-greet, leading to everyone laughing about “pulling a Ross at the altar.” (21:30)
• “Dumpster tit” and “king of kink”: affectionate monikers and ongoing podcast bits that fans bring up in person. (19:38, 28:06)
• Running pop culture references: Creed’s “What’s This Life For?” and Simpson’s memorable structure. (50:06, 42:57)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Oscar stories, re-entry, and personal meaning: 05:35–14:17
• Fan interactions and Mae’s tour vignettes: 19:38–24:11
• Parent acceptance & emotional impact: 29:27–34:31
• Nancy Cartwright asks the big question: 40:11–40:29
• Simpsons nostalgia and comedic influences: 42:06–44:19
• Hosts’ answers to “why are we here?” 45:03–49:25
• Nancy’s answer and hosts’ reactions: 54:02–54:53
• DMT, consciousness, and searching for answers: 56:55–58:49

---

Overall Tone and Takeaway

The episode balances depth with humor—a typical "Handsome" mix. While the discussion moves freely from silly stories and inside jokes to remarkably open, vulnerable moments about family, identity, and what it means to be connected to others, the hosts circle back to the simple, profound idea: we’re here to help each other, to support and lift up both loved ones and strangers. Even without finding final answers, kindness, laughter, and community are what keep life meaningful.

---

If you’re seeking laughs, big existential chats, and genuine warmth—plus the thrill of hearing Bart Simpson’s voice ask the meaning of life—this episode is a must-listen.

Transcript

[May Martin]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking. If I need to update my prescription before I order new reading glasses, I messed up. Now I've got the screen brightness and font size turned up to max and I'm still struggling. At least I can see that it's time to make an appointment with my optometrist.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois Every spring, I lean into the tradition. I love to clean and organize my space and give myself a fresh start. This year, Homaglow is helping to make that happen. Homaglow is a top rated home service platform dedicated to making your space clean and tidy. Homaglo has online booking capabilities that allow you to instantly schedule a cleaner in your area for a special occasion or for a regular scheduled cleaning.

[Tig Notaro]

My Homaglow cleaner is amazing and cleans my home inside and out. They're dedicated to doing a good job and communication has been great. If I've got a specific area of the house I want tackled, like the kitchen fridge, for example, they're happy to take that on. I. I signed up for Homag Glow's Forever Clean membership, which lets me save $30 an hour on all my cleanings.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Take home cleaning off your plate this spring by using Homag glow. Head to homag glow.com handsome to get your first three hours of cleaning for only $19. That's h o m e a g l o w.com handsome

[May Martin]

chatting with friends on the handsome pod. Chatting handsome. Cheers.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Cheers.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, it's your friend Tig Notaro on the Handsome pod. I'm sitting here with my co hosts

[May Martin]

May Martin and Fortune Beamster. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

What's up?

[Tig Notaro]

What's up?

[Fortune Feimster]

What's up, you guys?

[Tig Notaro]

What is going on?

[May Martin]

What is happening?

[Fortune Feimster]

We haven't been together in a in a minute, so it's good to see you.

[Tig Notaro]

It has been a beat.

[May Martin]

It's been too long. Anyway, good to see you. Bye, guys. Yeah, yeah. I'm on tour.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where are you right now?

[May Martin]

I am in Philadelphia. First time in Philadelphia.

[Tig Notaro]

Isn't it awesome?

[May Martin]

I've only been out off the bus to get a coffee and it looked beautiful and old and there was some big. Some big building, you know.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, you saw the big building?

[May Martin]

I saw a big Building. And it was beautiful. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I love Philly. It's so beautiful and historic, as you're saying. And just.

[May Martin]

It just.

[Tig Notaro]

It's so great.

[Fortune Feimster]

They have something called the Reading Terminal, or. There's, like, all these booths and food things. I love going there. And just. I'll get bags of, like, goodies.

[May Martin]

Like a market.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it like a. Yeah, like a big. Yeah, like a big market. But there's, like, everything from, like, cheesesteaks to, like, banana pudding to, like, coffee, places to, like. They're awesome. Like, pretzels and Amish bakeries.

[Tig Notaro]

Philly cheesesteaks, donuts, and.

[May Martin]

I'm listening to Streets of Philadelphia on repeat. Bruce Springsteen.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I'm like, we hear philosophy behind you.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Do you hear it?

[Fortune Feimster]

The sirens?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we hear it on the streets of Philadelphia.

[May Martin]

I'm, like, three hours ahead of you guys. But why? But I'm, like, groggy, just waking up, and you guys are perky. I'm in the.

[Commercial/Announcer]

I'm in the South.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is the big Ginger birthday weekend.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

That's exciting.

[Tig Notaro]

How old?

[Fortune Feimster]

80.

[May Martin]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, she's doing it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Her big parties this weekend.

[Tig Notaro]

Sounds like May is about to be arrested.

[May Martin]

It's, like, right there.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. There. It.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just see it right behind you.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Sorry. Okay, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

But so you're. We're on the same time zone, May.

[May Martin]

Okay. And. Yeah, Tig, you missed. We did a mini episode, me and Fortune and. And Ginger was chiming in the whole time. It was the best. She was, like, sitting just off camera, being like. Well, I wouldn't exactly say that. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everything we talked about, she was weighing in. So, yeah, who knows what that episode will sound like?

[Tig Notaro]

That's, like, when I do material and Stephanie's in the audience and.

[May Martin]

Does she chime in?

[Tig Notaro]

No, no, no. I'll share a story on stage, and then I'll think, oh, wait a minute. And then I'll check in with her in the audience and I'll say, stephanie, is that how you remember it to have happened? And she'll be like, no, it's not. And then the audience will enjoy our back and forth. In fact, for a while, we did a live show called she Said. She Said. Yeah. Where we would get on stage and, like, talk about our different perspectives of different things that happened in our relationship and stuff.

[May Martin]

I love that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it was fun.

[May Martin]

How are you guys enjoying. Wait, we haven't talked about the Oscars.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah.

[May Martin]

I'm. I'm just gonna make it.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm a loser.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah. You're not a loser. I'm a loser.

[May Martin]

No, Tig is.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're a winner. Because how incredible it is to have been nominated.

[Tig Notaro]

It really is. And I, of course, don't really feel like a loser, but I just go back to the group of people that made this film, including Andrea and Meg, the financiers, the director, every sound, camera, everything. Just phenomenal and just easy, all on the same page. And so, like, to get through this process of making such a personal, heavy, but also joyful film and come out the other side even closer to celebrate the success and loss the whole thing was, it's like, these are the people I want to do that with, you know? And we walked away going, we need to do more of this.

[May Martin]

Yes. You have to work together again. That's so rare to have that. Yeah. And all the pictures, you guys were, like, glowing, like, as a group moving along the red carpet. You were all, like, winning.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I ran into. I ran into their big group at the Oscars. It was really cool to see all you guys together.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. It was a fun surprise to turn around and see Fortune. Marie stands there looking so handsome in the sea, too.

[May Martin]

You look great.

[Fortune Feimster]

We got a picture together because, I mean, that's what the handsome listeners would want.

[May Martin]

Well, okay, Speaking of what the handsome listeners would want, if I were listening, I'd want to know, what celebs did you see? Who'd you talk to? What they smell like? Was anyone weird? Was anyone great? Was anyone hot? Like, was there anyone. You were excited about that. You were like, oh, my God, I talked to Leo or something.

[Tig Notaro]

I cannot wait to tell you. All the people I talked to Fortune go for. I got.

[Fortune Feimster]

I had to get to the red carpet pretty early. So I got there, there way before the, you know, the big superstars get there.

[May Martin]

Oh, they. They show up late.

[Fortune Feimster]

They show up later.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because you kind of get assigned, like, different times. Yeah. And. And.

[Commercial/Announcer]

But the red carpet was so hot.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was, like, really, really warm. So I stayed up there for a bit, and I would have kept, you know, seeing who was coming through, but I. My face was gonna melt off, so I ended up just going inside and getting a drink. So I don't feel like I. Like, I didn't see a ton of people on the actual red carpet, but in the. In the ceremony itself, you know, you're right there. So you're seeing.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everything.

[May Martin]

Who were you sitting near?

[Fortune Feimster]

I sat with all the Zootopia folks.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Except for Man Take.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, there was just four cast There.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Four Zootopia cast there.

[May Martin]

So far. I'm not getting the gossip.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, well, maybe.

[May Martin]

Take, take.

[Tig Notaro]

What do you got?

[Fortune Feimster]

Maybe. Maybe you saw something Mae's interested in.

[May Martin]

I'm not getting the gossip and the juices.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know mine was very chill, so maybe Tig has something.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I. I mean, I was sitting with our documentary crew and. And so as far as you know, it's funny, this whole process. People have been like, who are you excited to see who? And as you know, I don't really follow a ton of stuff, so I'm not, like, I'm not who half of the people were. The answer I gave everybody when they said, you know, like, who are you so excited to see? And I was. And my feeling was Rose Byrne is an old friend who I adore, and I was excited to see her. You know what I mean? So anytime I saw Rose, I was always like. Or anybody asked, I'd be like, oh, I can't wait to see Rose Byrne. And that's a genuine, real thing. Was like, I just think she's the greatest. I just love her.

[May Martin]

I don't know her, but I would be excited to see her. I think she's so funny. They're just so talented. Yeah. Actors that you can tell, they're. They're really smart and they just get the joke of the line every time

[Tig Notaro]

and the drama of it all.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, Rose Byrne nails drama and comedy so effortlessly. It's weird. It's truly weird. And she's fun and I just love her. But anyway, that's it. And. Oh, and then. And then. And then people were like, oh, my gosh, the after parties. Vanity Fair, blah, blah. And I was like, we truly went into. What was the governor.

[Fortune Feimster]

A governor's bowl.

[Tig Notaro]

After we got our vegan food, and then we went home and we were in. Yeah, yeah, we were.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like. We were at Valet together.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I did.

[May Martin]

Guys. I would have been.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's such a long day, though. It's like the longest day. And by the time you get done with the Governor's Ball, you're just like, poops.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I truly was. Because you can't eat, except they put a little snack box under your chair during this at the awards. And other than that, there's no food. The whole day.

[Fortune Feimster]

The whole day.

[Tig Notaro]

And so you have to wait till that night to go to a party. So we went to the nearest party, which was the Governor. Governor's Ball. We went and tossed some vegan food in our mouths, and then we went home and got in bed.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Same, same.

[Tig Notaro]

I have to say the Abby Wambach who's one of the. Was one of the financiers. She started this. We have an old text thread, and she changed the name of it to Oscar winners the day before the Oscars. And when we lost, I changed it to Oscar Losers. And. But Meg, Andrea's wife, chimed in the day after the Oscars, and she said, okay, everybody, let's share our reentry stories into life after the Oscars of what reality looks like for everyone. And she said. And she goes, I will go first. She flew back to Colorado, and she said that their house was infested with flies and she had to hang fly traps all around. And then Glennon chimes in, and she's like, well, our dog chewed and destroyed the thousand dollar shoes that the stylist let me borrow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no.

[Tig Notaro]

And then Sara Bareilles was at her house in upstate New York, and there was some weird door.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I saw the video.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Like, some critters. This is so sad. But, like, crawled in some space and died. And she was pulling out, like, dead animal critter carcasses.

[May Martin]

How come all of you were dealing with this animal, like, chaos?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, Meg said it sounds like everyone either had a fashion or animal emergency.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

And then I chime in, and I'm like, oh, my God. I said, right after the Oscars, I'm in our bathroom, and, you know, I have my sleep concoction that I take with CBD oil. I had a brand new bottle that was like the size on the thread I said, the size of a large man's fist. It was a huge bottle. I reach up to get slides out of the medicine cabinet, smashes on the bathroom counter. Brown all over my white tux.

[May Martin]

On your white tux?

[Tig Notaro]

No, on my May.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

The night of, like, as soon as I got home, I was covered in CBD oil on my jacket, my bow tie, my. My shirt, everything. And I just. I stood there and I thought, I can get really upset about this because it wasn't cheap or I can think. Well, Andrea Gibson would give anything in the world to be alive and spilling CBD oil on their blazer. And so I just took it off and went, all right, I'm happy to be alive and experiencing the good and the bad. And then. Yeah, so anyway, that's really.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys all did have something so random.

[Tig Notaro]

It was so funny.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking the instructions for a new skincare gadget before I give it a whirl. Ouchy. The box promised that my skin would be replenished, but now I'm turning a little red and it's not from embarrassment. Time for some emergency moisturizer.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds of you're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois I didn't realize a pillowcase

[Commercial/Announcer]

could help with anti aging and hydration until I tried Blissey. Blissey's silk pillowcases reduce fine lines, wrinkles and sleek creases. They even help prevent breakouts. They're better than satin because silk is natural, cooling and gentler on skin and hair. Blissy uses high quality 100% pure mulberry silk that's breathable, hydrating and hypoallergenic. Blissy is dermatologist tested and recommended. Plus Blissey's are fully machine washable so I just throw them in the laundry with the rest of my bedding. In addition to selling the best silk pillowcases you can buy, Blissey also has matching sleep masks, bonnets and crease preventing scrunchies. Because you're a listener, blissey is offering 60 nights risk free plus an additional 30% off when you [e-mail] handsome that's B L-I-S-S-Y.com handsome and use code handsome to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm a parent and sometimes it's hard to get the whole family to eat healthy. That's why Hungryroot is such a massive help towards establishing a healthy household routine. You've heard us talk about Hungryroot before. It handles weekly meal planning and grocery shopping, giving you one less stress to worry about.

[Commercial/Announcer]

I've been using Hungry Root to try out new recipes at home and get back into cooking for myself.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love knowing that I have a

[Commercial/Announcer]

fully stocked fridge and that I don't have to wait for another meal delivery

[Fortune Feimster]

that I'm not even that excited about.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Spring is here so I'm trying some fun bowls with fresh grains and veggies. Hungryroot offers over 50,000 chef crafted recipes with many ready in just 15 minutes or less.

[Tig Notaro]

You're going to love Hungryroot as much as I do. For a limited time, get 40% off your first order plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.comhandsome and use code HANDSOME. That's hungryroot.com handsome code HANDSOME to get 40 off your first box and a free item of your choice. For life.

[May Martin]

I've got. Well, I'm gonna be at like a big fancy and in like, it feels insane, but in like 48 hours, I'm gonna be standing in an arena in front of Joni Mitchell and the prime minister of Canada hosting this award show. And I'm. Yeah, but like, I don't.

[Tig Notaro]

And it's like the Grammys.

[May Martin]

It's like the Canadian Grammys.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, Okay.

[May Martin]

I don't. I'm not prepared. I haven't tried on my suits. I'm on a bus in Philadelphia. I've been eating weird things for like.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you want to borrow my suit?

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

With the stickers of brown tux and Glennon has some shoes.

[May Martin]

Oh, perfect. Perfect. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you. Is your stuff. They've already written your stuff. You just haven't had the time to practice it yet.

[May Martin]

I've written a monologue that I've never said out loud, and it's. It needs some work. So I'm. I have a dress rehearsal tomorrow in. So I fly at like 5am dress rehearsal and then the next day, but. Oh, my God, can you not rehearse it?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I was like, can you do it at your show tonight? Be like, hey, guys, can I.

[May Martin]

It's so specifically Canadian music. It's like, well, Daniel Caesar is here. And, you know, well, that would be

[Tig Notaro]

still so funny to watch the show too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. To be like, hey, guys, should I do this for you real quick?

[Tig Notaro]

You could. You know what you do? You do your regular show.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You do your closer. You get your standing ovation. The audience begs for you to come back out. You do that again. And then you say, hey, guys, do

[May Martin]

you have three minutes?

[Tig Notaro]

Here's a little bonus. Five minutes of your time for me to do Canadian material that you maybe won't even sound familiar, but let me just walk it through. And people will die for that opportunity to hear.

[May Martin]

Also, like, whenever I said on the podcast about. It's been about, it's been so. It's like that. That has, like, caught on like wildfire at so many shows. People are saying it's been. And so I'm like, well, I know I got that joke in the bag. I'm definitely put that in my monologue and just pray for the best.

[Tig Notaro]

It's a part of my day to day now.

[May Martin]

I'm so thrilled.

[Tig Notaro]

And I shared it with Stephanie and I'll, and I'll turn to her and I'll go, it's been funny. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I. The people that I'm meeting after shows and stuff, it's, it is so funny that we all have this shared like language. They'll be like, like really earnestly, no laugh, no twinkle in their eye. They're like, say hi to dumpster tits for me. Like, oh my God. I'm like dying laughing.

[Fortune Feimster]

I called you that in front of somebody a couple weeks ago. And they were like, don't call her that. That's what Tig calls herself. Y.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm a proud, proud dumpster tit kind of gal.

[May Martin]

Wait, I had a really funny awkward thing at one of the meet and greets. So this queer couple, one of them looks like me. One of them looks of course like long hair. And they come up to the front and it's their six month anniversary and they're so in love. And I'm meeting them and then I'm signing a poster for them and I go, sorry, remind me your names. And the one that looks like me is called April, funnily enough. So she's like, oh, I'm. I'm April and this is Emily. Then the girl turns to her, goes, what? And she goes, oh my God. Carrie. It's Carrie. It's Car. She said the wrong name. And I go, did you see? Did you say your ex's name? She goes, yes. And then they were so. I felt so bad for both of them because the one that looked like me was just like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like I did. And then did it really cause friction? Yeah, we were all like. And the, the one whose name was said wrong was like, oh my God. And then that would be wild. They had like planned a funny picture for us to take. So we all are in a row gazing at this light. And then the one with long hair goes, yeah, pretend the light is Emily. I was like, oh my God. And then I couldn't. I was freaking. That's pretty funny though.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And then everyone that came up after them, I was telling them the story. I was like, oh my go you guys. This guy. I felt really. But they seem very in love and happy and I hope, I hope you know, listen, they were nervous. You just. It was like in Friends when Ross says Rachel's name at the altar. But it wasn't like that. Cuz I'm sure the X is out of the picture. I'm really spiraling that

[Fortune Feimster]

it's just one of those Brain farts. But yeah, what a moment to have that in.

[May Martin]

It was wild. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And it would be a surprise as the other person, like, wait, what, what did you say?

[May Martin]

And yeah, it was so visceral.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm sure they had a very comfortable ride home.

[May Martin]

I know. They were like, we'll talk about this later.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we're talking about this later. Well, let's do the fun picture we had planned.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

That is so funny.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I'm having a wild time. Like I'm going to like vintage stores and guitar stores and museums and like in one theater there was a haunted stairwell. And like every, every city I'm doing something very strange and interesting and I feel like I'm like a big fan of America, but. And it's insane that like I'm like a trans immigrant, that I should. But I'm like, I'm a great cheerleader for this country.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, yeah.

[May Martin]

You know.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, especially if we're going to a bunch of states for the first time, like in cities for the first time, there's a lot to, you know, get to see that if you've not experienced it is fun for every city has

[May Martin]

such a different vibe too. It's wild. Yeah. What a diverse, crazy mix of.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a big ass country.

[May Martin]

It's huge. It's humongous.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's why you're, you're, you're like bus tours is just like this. You feel like you're doing a bazillion places and you're like, I've barely covered this, this country.

[May Martin]

This was a huge mistake. I'll say that I'm having a blast. But like, I am huge. This was a huge mistake. I, I cannot do this again.

[Tig Notaro]

Like I could have told you. I mean, I think I tried to.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think we both told you.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow, that's hard. Yeah.

[May Martin]

For some reason I was, I had one conversation with John Mulaney at Largo where he was like, you gotta do a bus tour. It's so easy. You just get off the stage, you get on the bus. And I was like, yeah. And I ignored everyone else who told me, you're gonna lose your mind.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't do it. I have to like go out, do shows and come, come home and like have a normal life.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

In between, I can't just like go out and just like have that be my life for a long ass time.

[May Martin]

Like 15 cities in like three weeks. I went to a hotel in Cleveland that was nice and had like a regular bed and in the hotel Weirdly, everyone was calling me Mr. Martin and I loved it. It's never happened before.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just Mr. Martin.

[May Martin]

Yeah, hi, Mr. Martin.

[Fortune Feimster]

Can I get.

[May Martin]

But they've got my ID and everything. But I was like, yeah, Mr. Martin, I loved it.

[Tig Notaro]

And what does your ID say?

[May Martin]

Female. But they must have been like, well, it's obviously a mistake.

[Tig Notaro]

That's a mistake. That the guy didn't care that just left his passport. Did you get to see Cleveland much? Because I love Cleveland too. Cleveland has so many cute areas.

[May Martin]

Very cute. I had a massage, actually. And afterwards the masseuse goes, thanks for your entertainment, by the way. And I was like, oh, that's so nice. And then she goes, I'm telling everyone to see Zootopia too. And I felt like she just googled me and seen that I was in that and didn't know that it was five words.

[Tig Notaro]

That's so funny.

[May Martin]

I loved Columbus, Ohio.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, Columbus is great. It's very gay friendly too.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Columbus is awesome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Lots of gays in Columbus.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Yes.

[May Martin]

We were in a theater that was the first ever theater to not have segregation. And it was so cool. And we went to the botanical gardens and Matt, we went to a glass blowing demonstration. Got to my friend.

[Fortune Feimster]

A what?

[May Martin]

Blowing glass blowing Fortune. An ass blowing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Finally getting into some real fun talk.

[May Martin]

Yeah, we went to an ass blowing demonstration and Matt has blowing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Now we're. Yeah, Columbus, you know.

[May Martin]

You know, classic Columbus. A lot of people in the meet and greets have gone, thank you for representing the kink community on Handsome. I'm like, am I representing the kink community? But I don't know. I'm happy to.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess I am, but I sure am not.

[Fortune Feimster]

Maybe it's because you're like sex positive and post yourself holding vibrators.

[May Martin]

Oh, maybe. Is that kink, though?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I don't see that as kink. But they just think you're, you know,

[May Martin]

maybe it's the, the scene in Wayward and stuff, but I've got like leather daddies coming up to me in their

[Fortune Feimster]

full gear being like, oh, yeah, it could be that. Was it the. You mean the part where the. The girl who plays your wife tells you to turn around? Is that. Is that.

[Tig Notaro]

Or is it because of all the orgies you've talked about?

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, which one.

[May Martin]

Which one's the kink fortune? She never says turn around. You inserted that.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's in my mind.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's in my mind.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's hilarious. What'? But don't you get flipped around or something.

[May Martin]

Yeah, she kind of turns me around, I guess. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Something happens.

[May Martin]

Yeah. But.

[Fortune Feimster]

But is that the king part?

[May Martin]

I don't know. I guess it's a little. It's a little subdomy. I'm like, you know, But.

[Tig Notaro]

But it's like, just. Even orgies. Wouldn't that.

[May Martin]

I guess.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know. I feel like.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I guess I'm in the cake community.

[Tig Notaro]

Have people been. I remember for a little while, you said people were being a little like. Like, kind of crossing boundaries with you. How's that been?

[May Martin]

Yeah, it's toned down since I talked about it on the pod, actually. People are being a lot. A lot more sort of respectful. And I don't mind a bit of. I don't mind a bit of us.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, now you want a little bit of it? Come on back. Come on.

[May Martin]

I kind of miss it. Turn around now.

[Fortune Feimster]

No one's doing anything.

[Tig Notaro]

I appreciate boundaries. Yes, definitely.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's. It's so funny because it's. We're all like. Tig's, like, super boundary. I'm, like, in the middle, and I know the other direction.

[Tig Notaro]

Kink rap. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I'm the king. The king of kink. And they're like, oh, oh, merch.

[Tig Notaro]

King of kink.

[May Martin]

A lot of people are like, oh, I'm gonna see all three of you. Like, I'm ticking. They're ticking off. Like, I gotta see all three. Which is so nice. And it's. But it is funny. Like, did I tell you about the people who were like, can we take a photo? First in the style of a Fortune meet and greet. Then in the style of a Tig meet and greet. And then in a style of a May meet and greet.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, so. So it would look like Tig would be far apart from someone.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Tig was, like, standing.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then I'm like, side by side, maybe arm around.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you're like, what? Legs intertwined.

[May Martin]

They're. They literally. I'm like, how did I get this reputation on, like, a koala on me?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, oh, my God, hilar. Like, all right.

[May Martin]

It's been nice, though. I started crying the other night during one. And that I knew I'm too tired. Like, this mom. A mom and her trans kid. And she was just like, I didn't know that. That there were trans people who were like, could be silly and happy and, like, I didn't. I. And she starts crying. I start crying, and she's talking about. This poor trans kid's just like, okay, everyone needs to chill. Yeah. But also.

[Tig Notaro]

That's so nice.

[May Martin]

Oh, man. Like, it was such a hug from a mom. Like.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I was kind of like, oh, man, I need a hug from a mom. Like, Yeah, I. Yeah. I'm still early in my journey with this stuff. I'm like, I was 35 when I figured it out, so I'm like, oh, it feels nice to have a mom be like, you're okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's. It's always cool when you see a parent, like, being accepting of.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

A kid. And I. My mom and I went to the Human Rights Campaign, gave me a thing in Charlotte, this visibility award, and I brought my mom with me, and I always love taking my mom to those kind of events, because.

[Tig Notaro]

Was this recent.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it was like, a week ago.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

And. And this. This one guy came up and said that my mom's involvement in P FLAG influenced his dad to accept him. And dad was, like, super conservative, like, MAGA guy. And he. His dad saw how my mom was with P Flag and very supportive, and so he started secretly donating money to P flag.

[Tig Notaro]

Amazing.

[Fortune Feimster]

In honor of his gay son. And I've. Like, my mom. I could see that really meant a lot to my mom to hear that, and it meant a lot to me, too. And it's. I think it. We go to these events, people come up to my mom a lot, just being very appreciative of a parent accepting their kid. And it may. And then in turn, they feel accepted, too.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And that's always. Always really nice because she's modeling, like,

[May Martin]

what it looks like for it have. For it to be not a big deal. Like. Like, I like how Robert De Niro, when they ask him about his trans kid, he's like, yeah, I love them then.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love them now.

[May Martin]

Like, it's just. I think it's.

[Tig Notaro]

I saw this. Yeah, sorry.

[May Martin]

No, go ahead.

[Tig Notaro]

I was gonna say Robert De Niro. I saw him on. I was on Nicole Wallace's podcast recently, and she had just had Robert De Niro on, and I saw a moment when she. When she had posted my clip. I had seen his clip on her page, and it was so touching because she was asking about the importance of lifting people up, and he started crying.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Tig Notaro]

And I felt like it was very direct. I'm sure it's across the board, but it felt very directly connected to potentially his child. And just, like, it's so important to lift people up. It's so important to encourage them and help them, to help elevate Them, whoever they are. And just to see that emotion in him. And it was really, it was so touching. It was so real. And I remember when Stephanie and I got married, even though my stepfather, my family, fully accepts me, it was still a moment that was so beautiful.

[May Martin]

I'm cry.

[Tig Notaro]

I can tell my stepfather was so buttoned up and things should be. And look a certain way and no matter who you are, you know, and. And there I am in my suit, about to get married in my hometown in Mississippi, and Rick comes up to me and I didn't have a tie on. And he came up to me and he said, tig, would you like to wear my tie?

[Nancy Cartwright]

And.

[Tig Notaro]

And I was like. I go, oh. I said, no, thank you, Rick. And I'm not really a Thai person, but it was him seeing me for who I was. And in his mind, even though he was a little off in his mind, if I'm getting married and I'm wearing a suit, you should also be wearing a tie. And he was offering to take his tie off and put it on me.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

So that I could walk down the aisle. And I did. He walked me down the aisle. Both of our fathers walked us down the aisle. And it was really so nice. But it just always struck me like that was really him seeing you. Yeah. Seeing me, even though I'm not, I'm not a tie wearing lesbian. But he, he just, you know, in his mind, you tuck your shirt in, you wear a tie. Yeah. Yeah.

[May Martin]

And also that's such a quintessential paternal moment of like, tie. Like, that's so sweet.

[Tig Notaro]

It was so sweet. It just leveled me. I was like, oh, God, this is the best.

[May Martin]

I remember, like the first time I felt like my parents got like the look I'm going, like the first time my dad said I looked handsome instead of pretty or like the, like they used to be. Like, you're, you're lift. You're lifting too many weights, you know? And now they're like, whoa, you're looking big and ripped. I'm like, yeah, that's what I'm going for.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And they're, they're. Yeah. It's so sweet.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Commercial/Announcer]

For many of us, the definition of paradise is sunshine by the sea in Provincetown, Massachusetts. It's where you'll find mischief, sizzle, magic and pride. It's queer, it's quirky, and it's always a fabulous time. One of my favorite things about P Town is that you can strut your stuff with your squad, go solo, or hand in hand with your sweetheart galleries, theater, comedy, nightlife and dining that's a gastronomical delight. From pizza by the slice to white

[Tig Notaro]

tablecloth Rapture P Town has many theme weeks for the LGBTQ Community Pride, Girl Splash, Bear Week, Family Week Carnival and Trans Week. From Boston from mid May through mid October, you can hop on a fast ferry to Provincetown or arrive any time of the year by plane or bus or car. For more Info go to ptowntourism.com the Official Guide to Provincetown. That's ptowntourism.com Provincetown now more than ever,

[Commercial/Announcer]

Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable, handsome website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Level up your game with professional on brand invoices and online payments, plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools.

[Tig Notaro]

With Squarespace, your site design is flexible to suit your needs with intuitive drag and drop editing, beautiful styling options, unrivaled visual design effects on brand content, and more ways to list what you offer. No experience required With Squarespace's SEO tools, every site is automatically optimized to show up more often in search results, ensuring that you find the audience you're looking for and that they find you as well.

[Commercial/Announcer]

What are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to squarespace.com handsome for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code handsome to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Tig Notaro]

It's Way Day at Wayfair. From April 25th through the 27th, you can score the best deals in home, like up to 80% off with free shipping on everything Wayfair's got. With Wayfair, it's easy to find exactly what fits your style and needs, from furniture to decor to all your outdoor essentials. All of it is on sale during weigh day. Upgrade your space with quality pieces that work within your budget. And the best part? Everything ships fast and free during way day.

[Commercial/Announcer]

I'm still decorating my new house and I really enjoy discovering a new aesthetic that fits the space. Every home is a little different, so browsing Wayfair gives me inspiration. I actually just bought a really unique accent chair on there that I'm really excited to try in my living room.

[Tig Notaro]

Wayday is the sale to shop the best deals in home. We're talking up to 80% off with fast and free shipping on everything. Head to Wayfair.com. april 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's W A Y-F A I R.com Wayfair. Every style, every home.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, well, shout out to all those parents out there loving their kids for who they are. Totally.

[May Martin]

Like, if you're.

[Tig Notaro]

And even like.

[May Martin]

Wait, what? What's happening, Louis? Oh, love is. Love is Fortune's shirt.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

In Louisville. Love Louisville. I do.

[May Martin]

Louisville.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love.

[Tig Notaro]

Have you been May never. You've got to. It is really awesome. Awesome. It is a great, awesome city. Louisville, Kentucky.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, Kentucky.

[May Martin]

Going there. I think I'm going there in April.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, good. Because it is awesome.

[May Martin]

Amazing.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've been.

[May Martin]

I mean, I loved Minneapolis. I loved Atlanta. I'd never been to Chicago. I love Chicago. Like, this is wild.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like cowboy getting around.

[May Martin]

I really am. I'm getting, getting around. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm. I'm back on tour too. It's starting this coming weekend, so I'm all over the place. And then I was telling me, Tig, that my mom wants to come to Europe with me. So we'll see.

[May Martin]

That's awesome.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm doing a little European run of shows and she's trying to get in on it.

[Tig Notaro]

Ginger takes Europe.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I said she would want to get on that hop on hop off bus that you. You like. That's how she likes to look at the cities, too.

[Tig Notaro]

We're made for each other.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[May Martin]

I would have such a nice day with Ginger on one of those buses. Just sort of commenting. That would be so nice.

[Tig Notaro]

We're doing a staycation just so we're home with fluff during spring break. And one and Max and Finn are like, let's take the hop on hop off bus in Los Angeles.

[May Martin]

And that's a great idea.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. So we're gonna do all the touristy things here in town for two weeks.

[May Martin]

That's a great idea.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fun.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I've never done the La Brea Tar Pits.

[Tig Notaro]

We're doing that. That's on our level. Yes, indeed. We are doing everything for two weeks.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's great.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, should we get to our question?

[Tig Notaro]

I think we should.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Let's do it.

[May Martin]

Today's question asker is an Emmy award winning actor who voices Bart Simpson, Maggie Simpson, and Ralph Wigham for the Simpsons. She also has a successful YouTube channel with over 600,000 subscribers. Nancy Cartwright is asking today's question.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, handsome.

[Nancy Cartwright]

I'm Nancy Cartwright, best known as the voice of Bart Simpson. And my question to you is, what are we all doing here? And what I mean by that is, like, what is happening here on planet Earth? Like, what's the dealio? What's the biz, man?

[Fortune Feimster]

What's happening here?

[May Martin]

It's pretty amazing to just hear the hint of Bart Simpson in there. That's pretty. What a cool person.

[Fortune Feimster]

Eat my shorts.

[May Martin]

Yeah. When I found out that it was a woman doing those voices, and I was a kid, I was.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I was so pumped and impressed.

[Tig Notaro]

I know. I don't know if I was pumped. I was just more like, wow, that's wild. And it's fun, too, because my kids were very into. They stumbled upon Family Guy, and we were like, I don't know about this. And. And south park. And we were like, I don't know. But we tried to turn them on to the Simpsons, and they were kind of pushing back at first, like, this isn't edgy enough right now. Oh, boy. It has taken.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're in.

[Tig Notaro]

It is one of the most joyful things for us because as much as Finn loves. Love sports and it's. It's a lot, you know?

[Commercial/Announcer]

It's a lot.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

He will go upstairs. We call it the chill out room. And they'll sit in there in the chill out room and watch the Simpsons on the couch, sitting side by side, giggling together.

[May Martin]

And it is so nostalgic.

[Tig Notaro]

Ah, it is. It has. It's really, really brought so much real joy into our lives. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I got to do an episode of the Simpsons that was like, wow, like, so cool.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you play yourself?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I played. What was the name of the character? It was kind of described to me as, like, a female version of Homer. I played. I played the girlfriend of the. One of the sisters. I played a character named Evelyn, and they go to a trip to Costa Rica.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

And just to get to be in there. And.

[May Martin]

And Marge's sisters are the ones that. The smoking.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Their girlfriends.

[May Martin]

And that's amazing.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, they're both lesbians?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think both. Just one of them. And then I got to, like, sign the wall and they give you, like, a box of Simpsons swag. It was really awesome.

[May Martin]

Well, those. I feel like it shaped my sense of humor because it was kind of. Wasn't it, like, the first thing to do, like, cutaways almost? It would be like, like hard cuts to things. Like, just the structure of it was. And then now my. My brain thinks like that. Like, if I'm like, well, I'm sure it'll be safe here. My brain goes, cut, Cut. To me, in an ambulance. Right, like, and that's very Simpsons Y.

[Tig Notaro]

Like yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[May Martin]

When Conan was the head writer and we had all the amazing Mr. Burns stuff and Sideshow Bob and God, speaking

[Tig Notaro]

of Conan, he just is to go back to the Oscars for one second. It, it was funny because my mother in law this morning was like. Or she said, and gosh, I was so proud watching the Oscars. I thought she was talking about me. And I said really? And she goes, she goes, yeah. I mean just the way Conan handled all the political stuff. And I was like, I go, what about me? But he did. I just think he's so stellar. It's like, it's crazy how good this guy is.

[May Martin]

God, it's like just, I don't. We all feel so like relieved and grateful when, when a, an iconic comedy man, crucially from that time, like, like keeps evolving and growing and it's just like relevant and funny and silly and

[Tig Notaro]

doesn't become twisted angry dinosaur.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah. The silliness like him as Aunt Gladys in the beginning.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So funny. I loved that.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Silly is where it's at for me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love the silly.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it's good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Which in these times that Nancy's speaking

[Tig Notaro]

of, we need the silly. Yes, we do.

[May Martin]

And she's asking my, I mean that's like my favorite question is just like what is this and why are we here?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't really, I personally don't dig that deep, you know, like to try to understand this. Well, I think you'd be scratching your head forever.

[May Martin]

Of course. I think that's like the part of it is you'll never, you'll never answer it. But yeah, I'm into, I'm interested in how people over the centuries have tried to answer those questions. And I don't know, there's, there's. I have a lot of friends and me too who are like pseudo spiritual or like make up their own kind of version in their head. And I have this feeling like this is some kind of school of life. I don't know, like everyone who has near death experiences or does dmt, they all report the same feeling of like returning home to this like pure love and like where people are like, oh my God, wasn't that crazy? Like you did great. Like what? You know what I mean? Like that it seems across the board people are, are saying that. I don't think that's just a sort of hallucination. I feel like it's got to be like your return to some energy world where you're like, I know I'm, I'm rambling.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, no, I, I, I am.

[May Martin]

It's.

[Tig Notaro]

How's that for an answer? I mean, I feel like I've talked about this a lot, maybe also on this podcast, but, But I feel like after. And I know I've talked about this a lot, but after everything I went through in 2012 and the way it cracked me open and changed my life and the way people were so helpful to me, it's hard to not want to be, to some degree, in service to others after that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And to just be as helpful as possible and return the favor tenfold. And I really feel so grateful to be alive. And I think about. And this is the part that I know I've probably mentioned before because I do talk about it a lot, is one of my favorite sayings by Ram Dass is we're all just walking each other home. And I feel like that is what life is. That is what we should be doing. That is what I try to do. And there's also a level of needing to have boundaries, and you can't, you know, you can only get involved so much in so many different ways with different people on different levels. But, man, to accept people's help. Walking you home.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And you giving others help and walking them home and whatever that encompasses. But just to. Yeah. When you're, when you're at the end of life or you are really sick or struggling.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

That's what you need. That is, that is. And that's what you should, Should, I think, be doing with your time in connecting with people. Yeah.

[May Martin]

And giving love and receiving love. And I feel like love is a pretty powerful metaphysical force that, like, you can actually feel it sometimes. And I think that's probably what we're here to do, is cultivate that as much as possible.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I think, too, just like, trying to make everybody else's journey here easier in some way.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, because, like, there's, like, stresses that everyone goes through or hardships, and, like, you don't ever want to be adding to those for other people. It's like, if there's a way to ease that for anyone that I, I'm all about that. Like, I think, you know, when I think about, like, why are we here individually? What is your purpose here? And I think as a. That's why I love my job. Our job is, like, to bring levity to people in tough times. And, and so I love that my time in this journey is, that gets to be part of it. To try to ease the load in. In either, like, my everyday life, just how I interact with people, or in my job, like. Like trying to make people laugh.

[May Martin]

Yeah. We're spiritual beings having a human experience. I. I feel like. And then we'll go have another experience.

[Tig Notaro]

So, like, you like reincarnation? Kind of.

[May Martin]

Maybe. I don't know. I feel like we'll never know. But I. It's, isn't it? I mean, it is like, this is. This is bizarre. And then, like, yeah, we. We. Our. Our sense of reality is so connected to, like, the systems we live in that. That have been built and function and, like. Or don't function in society. I'd like to just be in the forest and be like, okay, what is actually life without all that?

[Tig Notaro]

If this is so funny, because I Literally, two nights ago, when Stephanie and I were dozing off, I said, you know that Creed song, what's this Life For?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you know that song?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

What's his life? I just know. With arms wide open.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I mean, this. It's basically that. But what's his life for? But she said, no, I don't. I don't know that song. I was like, oh, well. Anyway, and then I. I just, like, fell asleep soon after. But that song comes, what an interaction. I know, but that's. It's just funny that that happened a couple of nights ago, and we're talking about, what is this life for? And. But what. I was. If she did know the song, I was. We were so tired that, you know, like, who knows where that conversation was going to go? But I just was going to tell her, like, what a funny, random song that pops up in my head. A lot of what's this Life For? By Creed. But I think it's just that constant thought of, like, what are we. What are we doing? What is happening? What is this life for?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Maybe we can drop that clip in of the Creed song in this point.

[May Martin]

I mean, remember, was it. Was it Max's song that he wrote? Like, that was very existential about.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[May Martin]

No one. No one knows why we were born. No one knows.

[Tig Notaro]

No one knows if we were born. Also, was a line wild.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Very cool. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I think I. Not. I'm not advocating drug use at all, but I think having been in my, like.

[Tig Notaro]

All right, King. King.

[May Martin]

Well, King. King says as soon as I, like, did mushrooms or something as a teenager and saw reality behave differently with my own eyeballs, like, the first time I sort of felt like I. I was seeing these nature Patterns and things, then. Yeah, that set me on a real. Actually, cut that out.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know.

[May Martin]

Well, leave it in.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, as we continue to talk and time goes by and these trucks drive by your window, man, keep thinking you're gonna get run over.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are y' all just, like, hanging on the. In, like, a parking space on the side of the.

[May Martin]

We're parked right outside the theater, and so the bus can't expand because it's

[Tig Notaro]

on a. Oh, you're in the bus now.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I'm on the bus now.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, okay. I didn't. I. I didn't add that up.

[May Martin]

I'm in the bus. Yeah, it's really getting pretty claustrophobic also.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh. Because you can't expand and it's.

[May Martin]

There's four of us on the bus, and we're all. There's always people around, and. But we. Luckily, all our personalities are gelling very well, I think. Even if. Even if one person was, like, obsessed with fitness or, like, on a different, like, schedule, but we're all pretty chill.

[Tig Notaro]

Obsessed with fitness.

[May Martin]

You know what I mean?

[Tig Notaro]

What a nightmare.

[May Martin]

Like, if they were doing yoga in the morning on the bus, it would

[Tig Notaro]

be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hot yoga.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've been to the gym. I've been to the gym every day this week.

[Tig Notaro]

Have you really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Look at those guns. Go to YouTube.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You don't want me on your bus because someone's obsessed.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. That's what this life is for. That's exactly what this life is for.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just haven't been able to move my body in, like, six months. Been filming and all day, every day. So, yeah, I've been so happy to, like, get sleep and go to work. Move my body.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Work it, girl. Work.

[Commercial/Announcer]

You better work.

[May Martin]

Come a, girl.

[Tig Notaro]

Should we hear what Nancy has to say?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Maybe Nancy knows something we don't.

[Tig Notaro]

That'd be amazing if she has the answer.

[May Martin]

Yeah. I don't know what I even said on this episode. We.

[Fortune Feimster]

We have no clue. No.

[May Martin]

We don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

Doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

[Nancy Cartwright]

I think the reason that we are all here is because, I mean, really, you just have to observe what's going on. Look at all the different races. Look at all the different kinds of people that compile that compose planet Earth. We got a lot of motion, a lot of action going on, a lot of busy people doing a lot of different things. And guess what? People need help. So that's what I feel like I'm here for. I think we're here to help everybody. My voice kind of cracked right there. I'm sincere, though. I do think that is why we're here. We're here to help each other. See what you can do about that.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Yeah. I think that all feeds into what we're saying. Yes.

[May Martin]

100%. Like, the Buddhist thing is, like, life is suffering. Once you accept that and your mission is to ease. Ease suffering for.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

Yourself and others.

[Tig Notaro]

One million percent. And also, you know, somebody could be like, well, why are you helping me? I reached out. I did that. It's like, again, it's like you can do certain things. You can't do everything for everyone. But, like, if your general idea and philosophy is to, as Robert De Niro was saying is, lift people up or help walk people home in life and whatever that means for you, if it's towards the end of life or just getting through a period in time and accepting the. Help yourself too, with, I think, important. With boundaries. I just. I think it's all. I think it's all I do. I think that is what this life's for.

[Fortune Feimster]

What this life's for. Yeah. With arms for wide open. I just love picturing two lesbians in bed.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

One of them turns to the other referencing Creed.

[May Martin]

Creed song.

[Fortune Feimster]

And she's like, no, good night.

[May Martin]

Yeah, well, good night.

[Fortune Feimster]

Take, take, take turns back over in her nightgown.

[Tig Notaro]

It's me in my nightgown. Maybe it's not a real song, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, that's the thing. We don't know what. What's. What's what. Why we're here, what's going on, but just gonna help try to help people. I like that.

[May Martin]

And I mean, I. My algorithm feeds me, like, quantum physics and stuff all the time, and I don't do any further research on these things. And it'll be like, big news. Top Harvard scientists agree that the past and the present are happening at the same time. Or like. Like alternate dimensions. Proven. You're like, is it proven? Is this. What is that? Should I now think that? But then if you Google it, it turns out it's just somebody's thesis. Or. Yeah, I want to know. But hopefully before we die, we'll get some answers. Just. Just a little.

[Fortune Feimster]

We will, though.

[May Martin]

Well, that's why people do dmt, so they can talk to the beings. Would you like to do the drugs? It's 15 minutes. The high. I'm too scared. But people, it's no. That. That guy who's trying to live forever, he just did it recently.

[Fortune Feimster]

Brian Johnson.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I have bad news for him.

[Fortune Feimster]

What?

[Tig Notaro]

He's not going to live forever.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, that is the reality of this situation. Yes, I know.

[May Martin]

And I wish that the beings he met in the DMT universe were like, dude, you got to stop.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, it's not going to happen, bro. Dude.

[May Martin]

Yeah, but would you do it? 15 minutes it. And it's. Let's say it's guided. There's doctors. We're on our wellness weekend, maybe, and we're.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's not for me, but is that not Molly or whatever?

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[May Martin]

DMT is like the molecule that's released at death, I think, and it's an hallucinogenic and the high only lasts 15 minutes. And everyone says the same thing. They're sucked out of their body. They're in a realm with deities. People describe the same sort of beings who are all like, hey, we love you. And they're just like, oh. And the peace they feel, it's so positive. And then they're like, wow. They get to ask some questions about the universe and then they're sent back into their bodies. Some people actually have not great experiences.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, it seems like people that do that are searching for something.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I am. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've never felt like I'm searching for something.

[May Martin]

Yeah. I love that about you. And I'm jealous. And.

[Fortune Feimster]

And so I've never had the desire to do something like that just because there's no. I'm not. Like, I need something answered that's not being answered. So let me do this thing. I just. I'm like. I'm not even thinking.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, in that regard. So I've never had that desire.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. Yeah.

[May Martin]

And you can.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not being deep, you know, it's not like I'm. I'm not a thinker, a deep person, but I've never been the type of person that's just like, what is this? What are we.

[May Martin]

What are we doing?

[Fortune Feimster]

It just never been that way.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, don't. Don't try and join the band, Creed.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, look at that. We did it.

[Tig Notaro]

We did do it.

[Fortune Feimster]

We have a. Our Netflix is a joke festival show coming up. Up. Yes, just around the corner.

[Tig Notaro]

It's going to be so fun.

[Fortune Feimster]

May 4th at the Wiltern. So if anyone lives in LA or wants to take a fun trip to la, come see us. We're going to be kicking off the festival week.

[May Martin]

Please come see us. We're going to be interviewing the cast of the Hunting Wives, or that's our guest. And just General silliness, I think.

[Fortune Feimster]

Of course, there's always general silliness.

[Tig Notaro]

General silliness.

[Fortune Feimster]

This will not be streamed, so you got to see it live.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Will not be streamed. Come to the will that show.

[May Martin]

What do you have coming up, though?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm doing a little European run. So for European listeners, just in a couple days, I'll be in Amsterdam at the Comedy Train Club. So come check that out. And then I'm also doing some state

[Commercial/Announcer]

stuff in San Antonio and Dallas, Texas,

[Fortune Feimster]

Des Moines, Toronto, Reading, Pennsylvania.

[Commercial/Announcer]

I just added for mid May.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then my European run for all you folks that live out there, Berlin, Stockholm, Oslo, Copenhagen, in London and Dublin. I'll be there the end of May, early June. Awesome city. Yeah.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Get your tickets and come.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would love to see some European handsome listeners.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm gonna head out there too. I have a few dates I'd like to run by. I'll be in Newtown, Connecticut on April 24. Portland, Maine, April 25. Brooks, California. May 15, San Luis Obispo. May 16, Albany, New York, June 4. Peekskill, New York, June 5. Clayton, New York, June 6. The list goes on and on. Rochester, New York. Spokane, Eugene, Oregon, Colorado Springs. Come on out and party with me.

[May Martin]

I just added an extra show tomorrow night in Boston at the Wilbur. There's a late show now at 10pm still, some tickets. Also I'm, I'm around, you know, go to maymartin.net I'm on tour all of April, so I'm, I'm in San Diego and Vegas. Lots of tickets available for Vegas still. I'm doing two shows. And then I added an extra show in San Francisco too. There's some tickets. Portland, Oregon, Vancouver, Denver, Kansas City, St. Louis and Nashville.

[Tig Notaro]

Love it. Yeah. So many opportunities to see us. I'm also at Largo and Dynasty typewriter. Go to tignotaro.com for my ticket and show information.

[May Martin]

Love that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Amazing. Great. And don't forget to get your handsome merch. We got a lot of fun stuff on our website, handsomepod.com.

[Tig Notaro]

yeah. Cheese in your pocket.

[Fortune Feimster]

Party kisser.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. Wait, I found something out, guys. There's a song called Cheese in My Pocket.

[Tig Notaro]

No, no.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Really? Alanis Morissette.

[May Martin]

It's from I've got Cheese in My Pocket. It's by. By Uzi Ramirez and yeah, we got it. Maybe next time on the POD we'll talk about it because that's hilarious. We should play. We should play some of it.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, in the meantime, make sure you subscribe. Share your favorite episode with your loved ones and help us build this handsome community. And also subscribe on YouTube and see Fortune's guns. There. She did it again. Look at those things.

[Fortune Feimster]

It just requires me to win this.

[Tig Notaro]

Until next time, keep it handsome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Wuellette.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Email [e-mail] and follow us on social media at handsomepod.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast.

[May Martin]

What a podcast

[Tig Notaro]

that was a Headgum podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking the sky for baseballs. When I'm at my son's game, look out. I'm very proud of my boy for hitting a home run, but now the ball's headed directly for my noggin. Mama's gotta get out of the way quick.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[Tig Notaro]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[May Martin]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan.

[Fortune Feimster]

And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.

[Tig Notaro]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show.

[Commercial/Announcer]

This is us.

[May Martin]

That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Are we gon.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[May Martin]

A little bit.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are we gonna laugh a lot? A whole lot.

[May Martin]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to. That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.