Podcast Summary: Handsome – "Paula Pell Asks About Bad Dates"
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Guest Question Asker: Paula Pell
Date: February 10, 2026
Podcast Network: Headgum
Main Theme
This playful episode of "Handsome" revolves around Valentine’s Day and dives deep into the panel's worst and most awkward date experiences. The episode features plenty of light-hearted banter, personal stories, and a main question from comedy legend Paula Pell: "What is your absolute worst date you've ever been on?" The hosts share moments of vulnerability and embarrassment, with recurring themes of queerness, awkwardness, and late-blooming dating mishaps. As always, the trio’s chemistry keeps the tone fun, candid, and utterly relatable.
Key Discussions & Insights
1. Valentine’s Day Attitudes and Anecdotes
[02:00 – 10:05]
- The trio riffs on Valentine’s Day traditions, May’s open window (and taped-up curtains), and guitar case decor.
- Discussion of plans: May is eager to see Alanis Morissette in concert—but briefly panics assuming tickets are sold out until the other hosts urge them to check reputable sites. Comedy ensues as the group discovers the AlanisMorissette.com domain is up for sale.
- Banter about buying Alanis’s website and trading it for VIP tickets leads to a fantasy about May serenading Alanis with her own songs.
- Discussion of how each host is or isn't celebrating Valentine’s Day (Fortune performing at NYC’s Beacon Theater, Tig home with her wife, May scrambling for concert tickets).
Memorable quote:
“Why don’t we buy the site, May puts a bunch of different videos of singing Alanis songs…so she will finally see.”
— Tig Notaro, [08:24]
2. Coming Out, Early Relationships & Finding Queer Community
[20:20 – 26:00]
- The hosts reflect on feeling isolated on past Valentine’s Days and the awkwardness of growing up queer in environments without visible queer community.
- May and Fortune reflect on how they might have dated if they’d met in high school, and on crushing on unavailable (often closeted) classmates.
- Tig: “Wait, how about those mysterious people from your childhood…that you’re like, looking back, there’s something up with them.” [24:49]
Quote:
“Just try the lady train, you know, I mean, get a ticket. Take a ride. It can be one way, it could be round trip.”
— Fortune Feimster, [25:50]
3. Bizarre Valentine’s Traditions & Family Stories
[21:24 – 27:18]
- Fortune recalls only once receiving flowers in high school—a sympathy gesture from her brother.
- May reminisces about her father making Valentine’s Day special for their family, leading to a suggestion to celebrate with any loved one, including pets.
- Absurd tangent about koalas: their inability to properly digest eucalyptus, universal chlamydia, and indistinguishable fingerprints—plus their imaginary love for J.Lo.
4. Question of the Week: Worst Dates Ever (Paula Pell’s Question)
[31:01 – 63:56]
a. Fortune’s Story: The Craigslist Era
[31:44 – 42:25]
- Fortune shares about coming out at 25, the awkwardness of dating via Craigslist’s personals (pre-apps, often photo-less).
- Three blind, chemistry-less dates: nervousness, spilling tea, and repeatedly saying “gay date.”
- Another date at Chili’s (“but the triple dipper was fantastic!”), and a failed attempt at online dating, only to discover two women she’d met were already dating each other.
- Fortune’s early 20s: “Just a couple years of bad luck, like, drama… I just think that’s what’s tough about coming out later, is you want to be doing this awkward stuff in your teens…”
[42:25]
b. Mae’s Story: The Wheelchair Garden Date
[43:28 – 45:53]
-
Living with a closeted girlfriend in England, pretending Mae “lived” in a cupboard under the stairs.
-
For Mae’s birthday, her girlfriend drags her to a distant garden to avoid running into anyone they know, gets “tired,” and asks Mae to fetch a wheelchair and push her around—all to keep the relationship secret.
-
“I pushed her around this garden in the rain in a wheelchair… I was like, this sucks.” — [44:45]
-
Afterwards, May is told not to act “weird” when the girlfriend’s friend arrives at their apartment.
c. Tig’s Story: Couch Confusion & Missed Signals
[50:00 – 54:24]
- Tig recounts a painfully awkward would-be date: invited to a potential love interest’s place; when offered to “spend the night,” she overcorrects and volunteers for the couch. The woman calls from her bedroom: “Tig, are you comfortable on the couch?”—to which Tig simply replies, “Yep!” Catalyzing a classic missed connection.
- Tig admits: “There’s no world that I will do that [make the first move].”
- Also tells of wearing a favorite shirt to impress a woman—only to receive an indifferent response.
d. Paula Pell’s Story: Being Stood Up for Her Own Deli Date
[60:55 – 61:38]
- Paula describes, post-divorce, getting set up in LA: all dolled up for a Canter’s Deli dinner, she’s repeatedly delayed for over two hours by her date—who then confesses that she went and dined at Canter's with a friend instead. Paula admits: “I had very low self-esteem at the time, so of course at the end of the date I was like, I hope she still wants to make out with me. Which she did not.”
e. Miscellaneous
- May recounts being proposed to on Valentine’s Day, “ruining all future Valentine’s Days” ([29:38]).
- The group discusses the “arrested development” that can happen in queer dating due to late coming out.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Fortune, on the perils of blind dating:
"You’re putting two, like, totally mismatched people together and just like, being like, okay, here you go." [39:44] - Mae, on the fake bedroom:
"So if people came over, we could be like, oh, no, May sleeps in there." [43:49] - Tig, on missed signals:
“It’s like, you have to absolutely just kiss you. There’s no world that I will do that.” [53:00] - Paula Pell's epic bombshell:
"She proceeds to tell me that she went to dine with her friend… at Canter’s where we were supposed to be going." [60:55]
Important Timestamps
- [02:00]—Valentine’s Day banter kicks off
- [03:38]—Concert ticket misadventures and Alanis rabbit hole
- [10:07]—Are the hosts excited for Valentine’s Day?
- [20:20]—Shifting attitudes on Valentine’s Day and being single/queer
- [22:27]—Sibling support: Fortune’s brother sends flowers
- [25:50]—Fortune’s “lady train” quote; being young and closeted
- [31:01]—Paula Pell poses the 'bad date' question
- [31:44 – 41:12]—Fortune’s “Craigslist era” dating confessions
- [43:33 – 45:53]—Mae’s “wheelchair rain date” disaster
- [50:00 – 54:24]—Tig’s missed romantic cues on the couch
- [60:55]—Paula Pell’s Canter’s Deli stand-up date story
Overall Tone & Cohesion
The episode is informal, hilarious, honest, and full of self-deprecating humor. Each host brings a unique perspective—Fortune’s earnest awkwardness, Tig’s understated discomfort, and Mae’s blend of introspection and wit. The friendly mockery and support highlight their close friendship.
Closing
The episode wraps with Paula Pell’s story, reflections on resilience in dating, and a preview of upcoming projects and tours for each host. The group expresses admiration for courage in vulnerability, and closes with their signature warmth and more silly banter.