Pretty Little Episode #21

Summary

Podcast Summary: Handsome – Pretty Little Episode #21

Release Date: January 10, 2025
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Produced by: Headgum

---

1. Gardening Dreams and Aspirations

Timestamp: 00:48 – 03:38

The episode kicks off with a light-hearted conversation about gardening. Fortune Feimster shares her love for fake plants, humorously revealing that her assistant once watered one, unaware it wasn't real. This leads to a deeper discussion about the allure of lush gardens and the desire to cultivate one in retirement.

• Fortune Feimster (02:03): "I admire those people that have those just, like, lush gardens and they're growing all this fresh food."

• Tig Notaro (02:23): "I would love to be one of those little old ladies... hunched over in their garden... with a hat that's covering their entire body."

The hosts humorously speculate about their future gardening selves, envisioning Tig as a gardeners' icon with a perpetual sun hat and clippers.

2. Navigating Gender Misidentification

Timestamp: 05:26 – 08:23

Transitioning from gardening, Tig and Fortune delve into personal experiences of being misgendered. Fortune shares a recent encounter where a valet mistook her for a "sir," prompting a humorous exchange about handling such awkward moments.

• Fortune Feimster (06:28): "I just got called sir last night."

• Tig Notaro (07:12): "I always say, oh, I'm female... causing some awkwardness."

Fortune reflects on how her strong presence often leads to these misunderstandings, while Tig pokes fun at her own interactions with Uber drivers.

3. Listener Questions: Reflecting on Past Styles

Timestamp: 10:25 – 16:37

Simon from Canada poses a question about past style eras the hosts might look back on with amusement or embarrassment.

• Simon (10:25): "Did you ever have a style era that you look back on and think, what was I doing?"

Fortune Feimster admits to regretting some fashion choices, particularly ill-fitting sweater vests and jeans, which were often highlighted in her media appearances.

• Fortune Feimster (11:03): "I wore a lot of sweater vests... my shirts were either too long or too short."

Tig Notaro reminisces about her elementary school phase, complete with cowboy hats and boots, and humorous stories about her ex-girlfriend critiquing her earrings.

• Tig Notaro (13:12): "I wore cowboy hats and cowboy boots and shorts... little earrings."

The segment is filled with laughter as the hosts share relatable fashion missteps from their past.

4. Listener Questions: Embracing New Experiences

Timestamp: 17:50 – 25:19

Hannah from Berlin asks the hosts about activities they've never tried but would love to, and what's holding them back.

• Hannah's Question (17:50): "What is something you've never done or tried that you think you would actually love? And what's stopping you?"

Both Tig and Fortune reveal a shared dream of learning tap dancing. Their enthusiasm leads to a playful brainstorming session about taking lessons and even hosting the Oscars with their newfound skills.

• Tig Notaro (18:40): "I want to tap dance."

• Fortune Feimster (19:03): "I really want to learn to tap dance."

They fantasize about tap dancing in tuxedos and gowns, imagining humorous scenarios where they might accidentally disrupt an Oscars ceremony with their clattering taps.

• Fortune Feimster (21:19): "We have to find a class that's not just us and a bunch of 8-year-olds. It needs to be like an adult beginner."

In addition to tap dancing, Fortune expresses a desire to learn the banjo, inspired by Steve Martin's performances.

• Fortune Feimster (25:00): "I would like to learn how to play the banjo. Every time Steve Martin does it, I'm like, that's so cool."

5. Wrapping Up

As the episode nears its end, the hosts reiterate their shared aspirations and encourage listeners to engage with the podcast by submitting their questions. They wrap up with cheerful goodbyes, leaving listeners entertained and inspired by their candid and comedic exchanges.

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Notable Quotes:

• Fortune Feimster (02:03): "I admire those people that have those just, like, lush gardens and they're growing all this fresh food."

• Tig Notaro (07:12): "I always say, oh, I'm female... causing some awkwardness."

• Tig Notaro (13:12): "I wore cowboy hats and cowboy boots and shorts... little earrings."

• Fortune Feimster (19:03): "I really want to learn to tap dance."

• Fortune Feimster (25:00): "I would like to learn how to play the banjo. Every time Steve Martin does it, I'm like, that's so cool."

---

Conclusion:

In this episode of Handsome, Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin engage in an entertaining and heartfelt discussion, touching on personal aspirations, past fashions, and the joys of embracing new experiences. Their chemistry and humor make for a captivating listen, offering both laughter and relatable insights for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Mae Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Like, you know, to check and make sure that TV show didn't get canceled after one season before you commit to watching it.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, IL.

[Tig Notaro]

This is a Headgum podcast. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod Pretty little episode. Hello.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hello.

[Tig Notaro]

Welcome to this pretty little episode with these pretty little ladies. What are you laughing at?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm laughing at you. Just so you're like, hello. Hello, we're here.

[Simon]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Hello. How's your plant doing?

[Fortune Feimster]

What? My plant? My fake plant is amazing.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Would you know that's a fake plant?

[Tig Notaro]

No. No.

[Fortune Feimster]

See, that's why I love fake plants. I've not had to water it once.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, you shouldn't. Our assistant was watering a fake plant. Fake plants on our back patio, and I saw her do it one day, and I was like, oh, it's like those. Those don't need to be watered.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would be confused if they were on the patio, though.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I mean, she had every reason to think they were real.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But you're like, why is this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why is there a puddle of water under here constantly?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do not have a green thumb, so this is the best it's going to get for me.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I wish I was a little more green botanical. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I admire those people that have those just, like, lush gardens and they're growing all this fresh food.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I would love to be one of those little old ladies. Little old. Little pretty old ladies that's just hunched over in their garden and then, you know, they always have little clippers in their hands and then a hat that's covering, like, their entire body. And then you walk by and you're like, hi, Mrs. Notaro.

[Fortune Feimster]

I see that for you.

[Tig Notaro]

And then I look up, I'm like, oh, hi. Oh, you've gotten so big. You know, have those.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think that's in your future down.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And I'm not joking. Like, that is my fantasy. Like, if somebody told me that I could get that going on immediately, I would be thrilled to have, like, a garden where things come up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

High enough to. Where when you're hunched over and you're gardening, somebody just sees that little hat.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You think I've got that in my Face.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think you've got it in you tenfold. You've got that. It's so in your body. I don't know, just see you with your little clippers and your sun hat. You can start now. A lot of people do the raised beds.

[Tig Notaro]

Mm. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

They start with, like, one of those. Start with one of those.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I wonder if there's gardening college or school somewhere.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think you need a college for. I do.

[Tig Notaro]

I think I need a four year degree on agriculture. Yeah. And fashion. You know.

[Fortune Feimster]

And fashion. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think if you watched one YouTube video, you could start a garden.

[Tig Notaro]

I could immediately hunch over and start picking weeds.

[Fortune Feimster]

Come to my garden. Rest here for a while. What's that from listeners who knows this answer?

[Tig Notaro]

Thomas almost looks like he does. No, I don't.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys don't know it neither. All right, I'm gonna tell you what garden is in the title.

[Tig Notaro]

Garden State.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nope.

[Tig Notaro]

Gray. Gray Gardens. The musical. Let's make it.

[Fortune Feimster]

It is the secret garden.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, well, people kept secret.

[Fortune Feimster]

Pumped about that. My grandmother was a gardener. I am not. But I. I don't actually mind the thought of when I'm older also having that situation.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Truth comes out. I didn't know. I thought. I thought. I thought you were just like, that's not my world. No interest.

[Fortune Feimster]

No. You know what would be, I think, a cool way to retire. I would have maybe two places because I would get bored.

[Tig Notaro]

Mm.

[Fortune Feimster]

One in a city, like in like, somewhere in la.

[Tig Notaro]

Sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

But a house in like a. Like a Napa Valley.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a lot of farm to table situations up there where people are growing stuff and they're eating good food and fresh food. I wouldn't mind a little cottage in Napa or Sonoma and get my gardening on and just drink wine all day. That sounds delightful.

[Tig Notaro]

And then how interested would Jax be in the gardening? Not at all.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or she'd be interested in the wine for sure. And the charcuterie that's gonna accompany that. She would be very into the vegetables, the fresh veggies. I think I could learn how to be butch and grow our food.

[Tig Notaro]

So it takes butchy. Cause I've seen little old pretty ladies that aren't terribly butchy. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Feels butch to me. Getting dirty.

[Tig Notaro]

Getting dirty. I'm so glitchy. Look at me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I gotta get my hands in the dirt.

[Tig Notaro]

But you have seen the women that are like 80 that are not butchy, that their gardens are really growing. Here's my other problem is I don't feel like I make a good Mrs. Notaro. You know, I feel like I'm only Mrs. Notaro when I check into hotels.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Or like, on a flight. Mrs. Notaro.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just got called sir last night.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh. Anyone you know?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. The valet. He goes, have a good night, sir. I said, thank you. I always try to make my voice higher. Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

I always say, oh, I'm female. And then I get in my car.

[Fortune Feimster]

You too?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I had this one Uber driver that kept calling me sir and buddy and I kept saying, oh, I'm female. Oh, I'm female. He did not. He didn't hear anything I said because he was looking at me going. Whatever I was saying was not.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did not track for him.

[Tig Notaro]

No. He was like, why is he saying I'm female?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, but. Yeah, that's my favorite thing to say, of course. To cause some awkwardness.

[Fortune Feimster]

You love a good awkward moment.

[Tig Notaro]

I do. I love an awkward moment.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I just go with it. Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

That's not going with it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

How often do you get called sir? Because I don't feel like you've got a sir.

[Fortune Feimster]

Look, I could do more than you think. I think it's that people, if they're not really paying attention, they just see a large presence, like. And. And so I'm not dainty like a pretty little lady. So they just see, like, the broad shoulders, and they just assume.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, man, that dude treads water. Look at those shoulders.

[Fortune Feimster]

Once every couple weeks, maybe.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, once. He mines every few days.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, really?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Probably your short hair, for sure. I have these long locks. Look how feminine I am right now.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, Fortune's got her hair flung to one side. She's twirling. I would say you're even making eyes at me. Fortune, what would it take you and I know we've already talked about this in many different ways, but really, what would it take for you to hook up with me?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Why do you keep asking me? Well, you can't start twirling your hair and making eyes at me, and it's not. Oh, it's not gonna cross my mind.

[Fortune Feimster]

You and I would start giggling the whole time. There's no way.

[Tig Notaro]

But what is it, like a money amount? Like, what is. What.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is it gonna take to pay me?

Come on.

That's a delight right there.

[Tig Notaro]

A delight.

[Fortune Feimster]

Delight. Delightful hookup.

[Tig Notaro]

Jax and Stephanie walk in, and they're like, oh, God, what are you two doing?

[Fortune Feimster]

I like these two.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, let's go have a hot chocolate by the fire.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's Right. Well, vino.

[Tig Notaro]

So you won't put out a number?

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, I wouldn't have. You wouldn't have to pay me.

[Tig Notaro]

You would just do it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Heck, yeah. What a fun time.

[Tig Notaro]

What if we liked it a little too much? We had to sit down and explain Lane.

[Fortune Feimster]

It could ruin handsome.

[Tig Notaro]

We're like Jack, Stephanie. I know it was surprising, but funny to catch us, but we actually.

[Fortune Feimster]

We have very intense feelings for each other now.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, please let that happen. Okay, I feel like Thomas is ready to give us our first question. He's like, we got to break this tension and move on. It's too hot.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's too hot in here.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, Thomas. Did you hear all that? I did, yeah. Was somebody else in the room? I tried to block it out.

[Fortune Feimster]

He thought we were alone.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, give us a question.

[Simon]

Hello, Fortune, May and Tig. My name is Simon, and I'm from Canada. And I want to know, did you ever have a style era that you look back on and think, what was I doing? Just a moment in time when you tried something different. Maybe you did, you know, a crazier haircut or you went into a certain genre of fashion that you never really tried before. It was an experimental phase, and you look back and you just think, that was wild.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, man. I've had some. I've had some real bad moments, and they're all, you know, documented, because I was on tv, I was in press photos. I mean, some of the things I would. I can't believe I showed up to half the things. I showed up to wearing the things. I wore a lot of sweater vests. A lot of. A lot of.

[Tig Notaro]

What's wrong with a sweater? What is wrong with a vest?

[Fortune Feimster]

But my shirts, like, underneath were, like, either too long or too short.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, why can't you get it just right?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

Ratty jeans.

[Fortune Feimster]

Ratty jeans. My hair wasn't like. Not that my hair is not always insane, but Jax's helps me keep. Not right now. I did it myself. But she scrunches my curls.

[Tig Notaro]

I know she does.

[Fortune Feimster]

She scrunches my girl. She's the best.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm just looking for someone who will scrunch my curls.

[Fortune Feimster]

I found my person. She scrunches my curls.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

Like, you know how to check and.

[Mae Martin]

Make sure you've got marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate before heading out for S'more Camping.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the U.S. only savings, varied terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

But, man, I have even. Even Jack's laughs now. She's like, oh, my God, these outfits. And I'm like, I know. Ill fitting. I think that was it. It was a lot of ill fitting stuff. I didn't know how to get things tailored yet, or they were, like, a little too tight or a little too long or a little. Whatever. Crazy shoulders.

[Tig Notaro]

Crazy shoulders.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, like, I. Like a men's blazer, but the shoulders, like, look like a football. You gotta get that fixed. I look like a football player.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, that's so funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

What was yours?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I mean, I think the first time that I went rogue with fashion was in elementary school, and I went through a period of time where I wore a cowboy hat and cowboy boots and shorts.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nice.

[Tig Notaro]

And. And it was those, like, safari shorts because I liked having a lot of pockets. And then it had, like, a. A keychain hook on. On the safari shorts.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, not like I'm embarrassed of that, but that was the first time where I remember when I would go over to my neighbor's house to play. It was like, oh, Tig has a new fashion.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, and there's so many pockets. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure I kept cigarettes and stuff in there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I used to also wear little earrings. And I started dating this woman, like, I don't even know when. And she was like, why do you have those earrings in? And I was like, I don't know. And she said, you look like a little girl baby. You look like a little baby whose parents are trying to signal to everyone that you're a little girl.

[Fortune Feimster]

The pierce their little baby ears. All babies with pierced ears.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm like, oh, no, you do like them or you don't.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do not like them. No.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think the baby doesn't. That hurts. They don't want that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. There's no real reason. You need to signal to everyone that the baby is girl or boy bow in their hair. And it made me laugh so hard when she said that I looked like my parents were trying to signal that I was a girl.

[Fortune Feimster]

I wear little earrings. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I took them out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. You don't wear any earrings now? Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

No, not since her. Because I was like, God, that is funny, because I said. You know, now that you're saying that, I think. I think that is what I was trying to do, is signal that I. Girl. And then. And then I was just like, yeah, I. I took my earrings out and I.

[Fortune Feimster]

Who needs them?

[Tig Notaro]

Who needs them? And now, you know, everyone wears two earrings. You know, guys do. And so you're not really signaling anything. There you are. Simon, what about you?

[Simon]

For me, I think all of my fashion choices have been completely justifiable and amazing. So.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right. Yeah.

[Simon]

Especially the skirt over jeans when I was a little kid. That was probably the best. Can't wait to hear your answer.

[Tig Notaro]

Bye.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nice. My hair hasn't changed in, like, 20 years, though.

[Tig Notaro]

What was it before 20 years ago?

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't know about layering.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, layering and brushing. That it hadn't. Hadn't reached you yet.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're like curl cream.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't even know about curl cream. I just found out. When you said curl cream, I didn't.

[Fortune Feimster]

Know that you could layer hair and curve it inward so it was just a triangle. So nobody mentioned Gilda Radner? Like character.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is a triangle.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I. I've been wondering if I should just see what I look like dyeing my hair.

[Fortune Feimster]

What color?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, brown. I don't mind the gray, but I'm curious what I would look like if I didn't have gray.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

With my face aging. You know what I mean? Because I, of course, know what I look like with brown hair from years ago, but now I'm like, you know, I've got little gray patches in my ears and stuff.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm going to look like a little old cherub. Fat cheeks.

[Tig Notaro]

A little old cherub.

[Fortune Feimster]

Rosy fat cheeks with wrinkles.

[Tig Notaro]

That's great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Who also kind of looks young, but is old.

[Tig Notaro]

Do cherubs never get older? Huh?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm gonna be the first one.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow, look at you. You're gonna live so long from treading.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

Look at that old cherub. That's gonna be one of your specials down the road is old cherub.

[Fortune Feimster]

You heard it here first.

[Tig Notaro]

You sure did.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love it. All right, what's next?

[Hannah]

Hi, handsome. Pod, this is Hannah from Berlin. And my question is, what is something you've never done or tried that you think you would actually love? And what's stopping you?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, good question. Also, Hannah from Berlin does not sound.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like Hannah is from Berlin.

[Tig Notaro]

It feels like Hannah Berlin forgot to mention where Hannah was from before she got to Berlin.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's like, oh, I meant Berlin, Minnesota.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess I'm Tig from Toronto. Huh? Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Something that you've never done, but that you think you could be good at. And why haven't you done it?

[Tig Notaro]

I've got something.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

I've always wanted to do this. And fine, get ready to laugh at me, But I'm about to share a dream.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't wait.

[Tig Notaro]

I have always want. And I don't even know if I'd be good at it, but, God, I hope I am, because I want to do this one day. I want to tap dance.

[Fortune Feimster]

Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

What?

[Fortune Feimster]

This is also my dream.

[Tig Notaro]

No fortune. Tig, let's take tap dancing lessons.

[Fortune Feimster]

I swear to God, as soon as you said that. That's mine.

[Tig Notaro]

Kathleen. I have. I think tap dancing is the coolest.

[Fortune Feimster]

So great, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Thomas is laughing at us, but just, you know, let's mute his face. I think it is the coolest thing. I want to tap dance. And how many lessons do we need? Because I can do fake tap dancing really well.

[Fortune Feimster]

Here's what we should do. We should take lessons together and then host the Oscars.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like Billy Crystal.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, right. You can't host the Oscars without knowing how to tap dance. I had to tap dance.

[Fortune Feimster]

He used to tap dance in his opening monologues. They're like Hugh Jackman or something. We should do it.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. We have to. We have to find a tap dance instructor and then just take, like, what, a week of tap dance lessons?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think we need more than a week. It's not easy.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

But they do have tap lessons in Hollywood for, like, beginners. And maybe we can convince May to do it, too.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait a minute. Or we can find tap dance lessons on YouTube. We can film ourselves teaching ourselves through YouTube tutorials.

[Fortune Feimster]

I really want to learn to tap dance. And I don't know why. I've. I've said this for, like, 20 years.

[Tig Notaro]

Me, too, kid. Me too. And I'm like, why am I. Yeah. Why are we not reaching our potential here? All I want to do in life is garden and tap dance.

[Fortune Feimster]

Whenever I see, like, videos of people tapping, I'm just like, that looks amazing.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've just always wanted to be a part of, like, an opening monologue. It doesn't. If. If the Oscars don't want us, then, like, they still have the TV Land.

[Tig Notaro]

Award waiting for us to learn how to tap dance. They want us. They want us.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm just always picturing, like, a tuxedo, just tapping like our life depends on it.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, wait. Here's a great idea. May is doing the monologue, and you and I are just tap dancing. Our faces off while May is giving the monologue. And we're like, you know, May's all.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cool and we're just like with a top hat.

[Tig Notaro]

And May's like, guys, can you keep it down? I have. You know, they're trying to do their monologue and we're like, clickety clackity, clackety click.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're trying to introduce Angelina to Jolie. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. I think this needs to happen. We have to find a class that it's not just us and a bunch of like 8 year olds. It needs to be like that to be like an adult beginner.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. I. Okay, fine.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, if we have to do it with 8 year olds, fine. Just they need to know that we're there to host the Oscars.

[Tig Notaro]

Right. We. We have to. And then that should be the very begin of, you know, there's probably a bunch of things we have to learn.

[Fortune Feimster]

We should document it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Like, we're trying to prepare for the Oscars and we show it in their Oscar rollout opening. And we. But there's other things that we probably have to learn. And I don't know what they are, but there's things Oscar hosts do that those are. Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jokes and stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And we probably need to show us getting our. Getting fitted for our gowns and things.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, we're gonna wear.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we're gonna tap dance and gowns. But they're not gonna. They're gonna be short gowns, you know, to show off our gowns. I wanted a T maze in the tux.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay. Why don't you be in the gown and I'm in the tux?

[Tig Notaro]

Because people be like, what's that dude doing in that gown?

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, Gosh, this. I mean, if the Oscars don't tap.

[Tig Notaro]

Tap us to do this, they of course are.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're gonna. At least they could. Let's start the conversations now. Oscars. So we have a year to. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And you think we should for sure start with beginners lessons and not.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, considering we've never tapped in our life.

[Tig Notaro]

Right. Yes. Okay. Okay. It's a good plan.

[Fortune Feimster]

But we should tell the instructor, hey, just, you know, we're hoping to host the Oscars, so we're not hoping.

[Tig Notaro]

We are preparing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Preparing to host Oscars.

[Tig Notaro]

To host the Oscars.

[Fortune Feimster]

So you need to. We need to get this going.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. Fortune. It'd be such a funny video. Because if we said that we are preparing to host the Oscars, they would assume we have been tapped.

[Fortune Feimster]

No one has asked us.

[Tig Notaro]

No one has asked us, but we are no fools. So we are preparing for this and we are showing up. Ready.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is so exciting.

[Tig Notaro]

It's so exciting.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm so pumped for this.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. What's Hannah's answer?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, let's hear from Hannah. It's tap dancing.

[Hannah]

For me, it's Dungeons and Dragons because I love puzzles, board games, fantasy novels, fantasy series, all of that. So I think I would love it. I just have no idea how to break into that world. Also, I do fear it would become my entire personality and I would annoy all of my loved ones. But anyways, I really love the pod. Thank you so much for all of the laughs. Bye.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, thank you for dredging up our secret love of tap dancing. And yes, well, thank you when we host the Oscars.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, for sure. Thanks to Hannah in Berlin.

[Fortune Feimster]

Berlin, Texas. I would like to learn how to play the banjo. To me, the banjo sounds really fun and every time Steve Martin does it, I'm like, that's so cool.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, I would love to play the banjo.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, what a treat.

[Tig Notaro]

What a treat. Endless treat. Submit your questions if you want to be a part of this treat, you can submit [e-mail] HandsomePod give us your.

[Fortune Feimster]

Questions because boy, do we have answers.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we really have answers and we are the go to for any questions anybody might have. Also Share this Show subscribe to YouTube subscribe to the audio podcast wherever you're getting it. Tell your friends. And until next time, I mean, shucks, keep it.

[Simon]

Keep it pretty.

[Fortune Feimster]

Handsome Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media. ANSOMEPOD.

[Tig Notaro]

What a podcast. What a podcast that was a hit.

[Mae Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[Mae Martin]

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