Pretty Little Episode #25

Summary

Podcast Summary: Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #25

Episode Information:

• Title: Pretty Little Episode #25
• Host/Author: Headgum (Hosted by Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin)
• Release Date: February 7, 2025

---

Introduction

In "Pretty Little Episode #25" of the Handsome podcast, hosts Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin engage in their characteristic blend of humor and heartfelt conversation. This episode primarily focuses on pre-show rituals, managing stage jitters, and what makes a house party memorable. The discussion is enriched with personal anecdotes and practical advice, providing listeners with both laughs and valuable insights into the lives of these comedians.

---

Pre-Show Rituals and Managing Stage Jitters

The episode kicks off with a heartfelt question from Tess in Oregon, seeking advice on pre-show rituals to calm nerves before performing. Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster share their personal strategies for handling performance anxiety.

• Tig Notaro emphasizes comfort and spontaneity:

  "My pre-show ritual is to not show up too early because I think that's where more of the nerves could start if I'm sitting there thinking too much about it. I like to pull up, get out of the car, walk in the back door, grab my drink, and within five minutes I'm on stage." (07:30)

• Fortune Feimster outlines a more structured approach, especially when developing new material:

  "If I'm filming something, I'm more nervous. We'll go to the gym to get energy going and get a coffee." (10:47)

The hosts discuss the balance between experience and nerves, with Tig noting that after 28 years in stand-up, she feels more comfortable and less nervous, allowing her to perform with ease.

---

The Stand-Up Process: Writing and Developing Material

A significant portion of the conversation delves into the creative processes behind stand-up comedy.

• Fortune Feimster describes her methodical approach:

  "I think of a story and I kind of talk it out loud and then I'll sit down and write it out, like what I think the structure might be, and then I'll put it on its feet. I'll try to memorize that, put it on its feet, and then discover punchlines as I go." (03:19)

• Tig Notaro contrasts her spontaneous style:

  "My process is I'll go about my life and then something will happen. I'll make a note on a napkin and then I'll misplace the napkin... I don't think anything through beforehand." (03:50)

This exchange highlights the diverse approaches comedians take in crafting their routines, from structured writing to spontaneous inspiration.

---

Creating Memorable House Parties

Annie from California poses the next question, asking what elements make a house party noteworthy. Tig and Fortune share their preferences, focusing on ambiance and guest interaction.

• Fortune Feimster prioritizes snacks and social interactions:

  "I'm always into the snacks. If there's really good snacks, I'm like, this party's amazing." (13:00)

  She further elaborates on the importance of having a dedicated bartender and quality food:

  "It's helpful instead of a bunch of free-for-all tables, ginger ale anywhere." (13:38)

• Tig Notaro adds her perspective on music and socializing:

  "I cannot stand loud music at a party... I prefer to be able to talk to people." (14:10)

Fortune recounts a memorable house party featuring a talented pianist, Craig Robinson, whose live music created an engaging and inclusive atmosphere:

"He just started playing piano and all these lesbians circled around them and started having a karaoke sing-along... it was so much fun." (15:36)

Together, they emphasize that good snacks, interactive activities like live music, and a comfortable environment where guests can engage in meaningful conversations are key to hosting a standout house party.

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Personal Anecdotes and Final Thoughts

Towards the end of the episode, Tig and Fortune share personal stories and musings about sleep and dreams, maintaining their lighthearted and relatable tone.

• Tig Notaro reflects on her sleep patterns:

  "I did sleep eight hours last night, which is a miracle." (18:30)

• Fortune Feimster contemplates the utility of sleep-tracking rings:

  "If you're sleep, I will know I'm not sleeping as well as I should." (18:15)

They wrap up the discussion by encouraging listeners to submit their questions and share their own experiences, fostering a sense of community and engagement.

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Conclusion

"Pretty Little Episode #25" offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the lives and practices of Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. Through candid conversations about performance anxiety, the creative process, and social gatherings, the episode provides both entertainment and practical advice. Their shared experiences and humor make the discussion engaging and insightful, appealing to both comedy enthusiasts and anyone interested in the dynamics of personal and professional life.

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Notable Quotes:

• Tig Notaro on avoiding early arrival to reduce nerves:

  "I like to pull up, get out of the car, walk in the back door, grab my drink, and within five minutes I'm on stage." (07:30)

• Fortune Feimster on developing new material:

  "I think of a story and I kind of talk it out loud and then I'll sit down and write it out..." (03:19)

• Tig Notaro on preferring manageable music levels at parties:

  "I cannot stand loud music at a party... I prefer to be able to talk to people." (14:10)

---

Timestamp References:

• 07:30 – Tig discusses her pre-show ritual.
• 03:19 – Fortune explains her stand-up material development process.
• 03:50 – Tig contrasts her spontaneous material creation.
• 13:00 – Fortune talks about what makes a great house party.
• 14:10 – Tig shares her preferences for party music.
• 15:36 – Fortune recounts a memorable house party with live piano music.
• 18:30 – Tig reflects on her sleep patterns.
• 18:15 – Fortune discusses sleep-tracking rings.

---

Final Note: For those interested in more episodes or to engage with the hosts, consider visiting HandsomePod.com for live show tickets, merchandise, and additional content.

Transcript

[Mae Martin]

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, you know to check you've got a cozy sweater and your comfiest soft pants on when you're settling in on the couch for a movie night.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, check in first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary terms apply Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is a Headgun podcast Friends on the Handsome Pod Chat with Friends on the Handsome Pod Pretty Little Episode.

[Tig Notaro]

Hi, it's Tig Notaro. I'm sitting here with my co host.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's me, Fortune Femur.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, we are together. We are doing a pretty little episode and I have a feeling it's going to be really pretty because Old Dead Eyes is with us.

[Fortune Feimster]

How dare you. Biggie's right here. Luckily I have my earphones on so he can't hear. You insult him like that.

[Tig Notaro]

It is not an insult. It is the cutest face. I stand by this.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was telling Tig, I posted a video of him where he was staring into the camera and he didn't blink, his tail was wagging, but he just stared. And all these people started commenting, there's.

[Tig Notaro]

Only on his dead eyes.

[Fortune Feimster]

And some people were like, she's wrong, he's adorable. And other people were like, I can see it.

[Tig Notaro]

Listen, this is nothing. Nothing about being adorable or not. You know, people claim I'm dead inside and I'm not.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yep.

[Tig Notaro]

I take it as adorable. Yeah, you should take everything as being adorable.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, I will.

[Tig Notaro]

How are you doing, Fortune? What's going on?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm doing good. Just. Yeah, chilling. Got back on stage at Largo last night.

[Tig Notaro]

Nice. How was that?

[Fortune Feimster]

It was good. It's nice to be working on material again. I feel like I took a proper break. I went about seven weeks with no performing whatsoever and had not done that in forever, so I think I needed it.

[Tig Notaro]

How long has it been since you've taken a break like that Pandemic. Oh, really? Okay. And so your process. Do you sit down and actually type out the words? Yeah, I was going to say. Seems like straight A nerd of you.

[Fortune Feimster]

The overachiever part of me. Yeah. I think of a story and I kind of talk it out loud and then I'll sit down and write it out, like what I think the structure might be, and then I'll put it on its feet. I'll Try to memorize that, put it on its feet, and then discover punchlines as I go.

[Tig Notaro]

Are you somebody that runs your new material by anyone before you go on stage or are you just like on lockdown?

[Fortune Feimster]

I have a friend who is a. Is very funny who I'll. I'll talk to her about like some of the. Those stories and we'll go through like, she'll be like, oh, that's funny. Or, you know, here, here's a good structure for that. And then I. And then I kind of go off and running with it. How about you? What's your process?

[Tig Notaro]

What is my process? My process is I'll go about my life and then something will happen. I'll make a note on a napkin and then I'll misplace the napkin and then I'll note something else and I'll just put my napkins together and then I go on stage. I don't think anything through beforehand, but I've been curious about like, what that might be like to actually sit down and write out material. Yeah, that's fascinating to me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I like it just because the writer in me needs to have the structure. I need to memorize something. I need to know where I'm going. But yeah, it's helpful to talk it out in the beginning because I don't want to waste a lot of time. And so it's helpful having that input of this is good, this isn't. And then here's where this could be better. And then I go off and do with it what it. What I make it into, what it becomes.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I haven't done stand up in several weeks now and I'm curious to get back on stage here in Toronto or, you know, in la, wherever, and see if I can get back into the swing again after taking a few weeks off. But. Well, cool. I look forward to hearing your new stuff.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a work in progress.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, yes, it is. But I'm sure it'll be a smash hit once again.

[Fortune Feimster]

We'll see.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you have a theme that's. I think I've talked about it on, on the show. I'm kind of interested in doing like a themed one person show, but I don't know if I.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not right now, I don't. I usually come up with that a year in, eight months in.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where in the beginning it's just like, here's a bunch of fun stories. And then at some point I start trying to think, what am I trying to say? What is. Is there a through line with all of this.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then at some point I start coming up with what can I bring this full circle? Are there callbacks? But that, that, that stuff all comes much later.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Playing around on stage.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. This beginning part is where I. I'm more clinical about it. And then I'm off. I'm doing my thing.

[Tig Notaro]

And then you're off to the circus. Should we get started on this circus and. Yeah, see what the. The handsome little ladies and themdies and hit us. Mr. Thomas.

[Thomas Willette]

Hello, handsome. My name is Tess. I live in Oregon, but I'm from British Columbia, Canada. And my question to you is, do you guys have any pre show rituals that you do on the day of before you perform? Like anything that helps calm you down and kind of get you in the moment? I haven't performed yet, but I'm hoping to do some open mics in January. I'm in an improv class and I get super nervous the day that we do shows and I feel like I can't eat or do anything. So I was wondering if you guys had any tips for kind of pre show jitters and how you calm down and get in the moment. Anyways, thank you so much. Your podcast makes me laugh and smile weekly. I love you guys.

[Tig Notaro]

Love a weekly smile. Love a weekly laugh. We're here to dole them out. I. I don't know. I mean, I. I feel like, I mean, I'm inching up. I think I'm at 28 years of doing stand up and I don't feel like I have a huge amount of nerves around it anymore. And some people think that means like, oh, you don't care about what you're doing, but that's not it at all. It's just I feel comfortable. I think that for so long I used to show up so early and people wanted me at shows early. And then I think after I had more success, I started to feel like I think I might be calling the shots here and I'm going to show up when is most comfortable for me. And that is kind of my pre show ritual is to not show up too early because I think that that's for me, where more of the nerves could start if I'm sitting there thinking too much about it. Whereas I like to pull up, get out of the car, walk in the back door, and maybe, you know, grab my drink. And I mean, it's within like five minutes I'm on stage and then I finish, wrap up and head on out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Not too much going on for me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I don't have any kind of ritual. Tom Papa, who I do the radio show with, was joking about how I just roll into the theaters and, like, 15 minutes before and go to dinner before with, you know, sometimes by myself or with friends and. Yeah. Just don't get very nervous.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. When does Tom show up?

[Fortune Feimster]

Tom, I think, is more like maybe 45 minutes to an hour before he shows up.

[Tig Notaro]

That early?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. We were talking to Gaff again. He throws. He shows up two hours before.

[Tig Notaro]

What in the hell?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, what in the hell?

[Tig Notaro]

That is so much life gone sitting in the green room.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. I just, you know, like I said, right now in the early stages, I'm in the memorizing stage, so there's value in sitting to memorize. But when I'm in the pocket and I know what my set is, I just roll in. And it's not that, you know. Yeah. It's like 15, 20 minutes before the show starts, because there's usually. They usually start, like, 10 minutes late, and then there's an opener, so.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But if I'm filming something, I'm more nervous. And we'll go, like, to the gym to kind of get energy going and get a coffee and, you know, that kind of stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

But do you always use an opener? Because I've kind of been heading in the direction a lot recently of not using an opener. And then I just pull up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Five minutes later, I'm on stage, no opener. And I've been doing like an hour and a half, and I was touring also with my. Hello, again. Sometimes with no opener.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you like that?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I mean, to me, it's kind of the same. I've met so many great young or up and coming comedians on the road. I don't typically. I have traveled and toured with my own opener, but I also sometimes find it interesting to have locals in different cities and also to not have anyone and just walk in the door, do the show, head out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But, yeah, we're probably not very helpful, are we? I would talk to Tom Papa and Jim Gaffigan, see what they're doing with.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're more on top of it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Good luck to you, Tess.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

[Mae Martin]

Like, you know, to check that your brownie recipe calls for sugar and not salt before whipping up a big batch for the school bake sale.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Check in first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote. That could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate this content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. What else we got, Mr. Thomas?

[Fortune Feimster]

Hey, Handsomes.

[Thomas Willette]

This is Annie from California, and I'm curious, what elements, like top three elements or however many, make a house party noteworthy? Like, what's gonna make you rave about a house party over another one?

[Tig Notaro]

She's come to the two biggest partiers in town. I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

We are party people. I'm always into the snacks. You know, I go right to the snack table.

[Tig Notaro]

You and me both, kid.

[Fortune Feimster]

And if there's, like, really good snacks, I'm like, this party's amazing.

[Tig Notaro]

That's like, Mr. Thomas. Man, that guy can throw some snacks back.

[Fortune Feimster]

There you go.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Tig, you always have good snacks at your parties. Yeah, I guess I do.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it is. It is nice when I mean the bougie part of me, now that I'm older, I do enjoy. I'm not gonna lie, when someone has a bartender.

[Tig Notaro]

Huh?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's helpful. Instead of, like, a bunch of free for all, like a table, ginger ale anywhere, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But that's just me being older and. I don't know. Nice bougie.

[Tig Notaro]

Bougie about being boozy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Bougie, boozy girl right here. But, yeah, some good snacks and fun people to talk to. Even if there's nothing going on. You're just chatting. If they're fun, nice people, that makes a party.

[Tig Notaro]

I think it's also for my taste. I cannot stand loud music at a party. I've been to so many after parties. I'm sure you have, too. Just parties and after parties and the music that's blaring so loud. It's like, I so much prefer to be able to talk to people.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess I'm thinking in terms of having my own party, because whoever's at my party, I probably want to talk to them. But, you know, going into a loud club or somebody else's party that's really loud.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess the music could be a nice little barrier for people. But that's usually a moment where I think, I gotta. I gotta head out of here. This is not my scene. But, yeah, I love good snacks, good people to talk to, and turn the music down. The other thing I can't stand is restaurants that have music blaring.

[Fortune Feimster]

I hate that, too.

[Tig Notaro]

Talk about getting older and talk.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm like, we're here. We are here to eat. But most of us are trying to have conversations with people to Catch up. And when you can't hear. And I don't have great hearing anyway, so I'm always kind of, like, leaning in to people, like.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, same.

[Fortune Feimster]

If I'm, like, screaming over music, it's not enjoyable.

[Tig Notaro]

It's not enjoyable for us either. Fortune. When you're always screaming over music.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm thinking one of the more fun house parties I've been to was it was a group of lesbians.

[Tig Notaro]

Hello.

[Fortune Feimster]

And it was for a friend's birthday. And Craig Robinson randomly was. Who has asked a question on the pod.

[Tig Notaro]

Yep.

[Fortune Feimster]

He. He was the only man at the party. And he, you know, plays piano. And he's pretty much can play anything.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And he just started playing piano and all these lesbians circled around them and just started having this, like, karaoke, like, sing along. And just. He kept going from song to song. It was so much fun. That is one of the best house parties, I think, in recent memory.

[Tig Notaro]

That's awesome. And just all around a piano.

[Fortune Feimster]

All around the piano. So I highly recommend get you someone that plays piano.

[Tig Notaro]

Get you a Craig. And then was it all stereotypical lesbian songs or was everything. Or was it like, Jingle Bells and different era.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, it was all different eras, different songs.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Some. Something for everybody.

[Tig Notaro]

Get you a piano and get you a Craig Robinson. And get you a herd of lesbians. And turn that music down so we can hear the piano.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. All right. Well, thank you, Annie.

[Fortune Feimster]

I hope Annie's gonna have a nice, fun house party soon.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I think Annie will, if I know Annie.

[Fortune Feimster]

And we do.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And we do. All right, well, that was a splendid time. Nice to catch up with you, Fortune. And know that you're moving forward with your. It's so funny that you. When you just said. You too, bud. I just realized I had a dream last night that Max and Finn started only calling each other bud. What a weird.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's an interesting dream.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I don't. I don't remember my dreams very much, but every now and then I'll. I'll remember a little chunk that makes no sense.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I don't really ever remember my dreams either, which I don't know what psychologically that means about us.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, it might mean we are reaching some level of sleep that is or isn't good. That's all. I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. I can't decide if I want one of those rings that tells you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

If you're sleep, I'm like, will that be helpful? Or just now I'll know I'm not sleeping as well as I should.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I want to get one of those. I already know I'm not sleeping well so might as well get confirmation. But I did sleep eight hours last night, which is a miracle.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's awesome.

[Tig Notaro]

Anyway, way to end the party conversation with sleep details.

[Fortune Feimster]

And we don't like loud music.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right. Also, don't forget to submit your questions questions and [e-mail] HandsomePod I'm always curious.

[Fortune Feimster]

To hear what people ask because sometimes there's some real interesting ones in there which I never saw coming. So hit us with your best shot.

[Tig Notaro]

Or if anybody wants to submit advice, we can give you some pretty terrible advice. Likely or pretty great advice. Or great or great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sometimes we have some real gems.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, that's true.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then sometimes we talk about buttholes.

[Tig Notaro]

That is right. That is correct. Fortune is right. Also, get your merch and your tickets to our live [e-mail] check my website for shows.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah you can. I'll be doing working on this material at the club at the clubs club. So if you want to see how the sausage is made or the cauliflower is grown in digs instance.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Come see one of these club shows. Very intimate and fun and you can even tell me your own opinions about my jokes. Or if you have punchlines, I'm open.

[Tig Notaro]

She'll take them.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll take them.

[Tig Notaro]

And until next time, Fortune, what do we say?

[Fortune Feimster]

Keep it.

[Mae Martin]

Keep it pretty Handsome Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media. Ndsompod.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast.

[Thomas Willette]

What a podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

That was a hitgum podcast.

[Mae Martin]

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

[Tig Notaro]

Like you know, to check that your lava lamp has plenty of time to warm up and start flowing before having people over for that groovy 70s hangout you've been planning.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, check in first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois.