Pretty Little Episode #51

Summary

Podcast Summary: Handsome – Pretty Little Episode #51

Release Date: August 8, 2025

In the 51st installment of "Handsome," titled "Pretty Little Episode," hosts Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin, and Tig Notaro delve into a lively and heartfelt conversation that spans personal insights, favorite games, and quirky hypothetical scenarios. The episode, rich with humor and authenticity, offers listeners a glimpse into the camaraderie and distinct personalities of the trio.

---

1. In-Person Dynamics and Personal Insights

The episode kicks off with Fortune and Mae expressing their delight in hosting the podcast in person, highlighting the palpable energy and connection that comes from being physically present. Mae shares her deep connection with her zodiac sign:

Mae Martin [00:10]:
"I am a Cancer. July 1st was my birthday. And I would say if you looked up Cancer traits, I'm pretty full-on Cancer. Like, I align with a lot of that emotional." [01:09]

Fortune echoes similar sentiments, revealing her Cancer Moon and Gemini Rising, emphasizing their shared emotional depth and intuitive abilities to sense others' energies:

Fortune Feimster [01:31]:
"I feel energy very deeply, especially if I'm close to people. I can tell if something's off." [01:31]

The hosts discuss the importance of self-awareness and emotional processing, touching upon themes like empathy, personal boundaries, and the journey toward self-acceptance. Mae reflects on her growth through therapy:

Mae Martin [04:38]:
"I had to get to a point where I liked myself. If you don't like yourself, you do allow that." [04:44]

Fortune shares her experience with life coaching as a more manageable alternative to traditional therapy, highlighting the balance between introspection and daily functionality.

---

2. Favorite Games: From Mafia to Mexican Train

The conversation shifts to favorite party and board games, sparked by a listener question from Leticia in Melbourne, Australia. Mae advocates for the classic strategy game Mafia, reminiscing about intense and humorous sessions with fellow comedians:

Mae Martin [08:42]:
"Mafia is good. If you've got like eight people, it's ideal. I have been in some amazing mafia games, especially back in my Groundlings days." [09:02]

Fortune shares a wild anecdote involving her friends, including Abbi Jacobson and Clea Duvall, where a heated game almost led to an accidental injury:

Fortune Feimster [09:20]:
"My friend accidentally threw a knife across the table. It wasn't a good story by accident, but it almost took an eye out." [09:20]

Mae introduces the Mexican Train game, a domino-based activity that's easy to learn and perfect for gatherings:

Mae Martin [10:22]:
"I like the Mexican Train game. It's like dominoes, but you stack them in a certain way. It's easy to pick up on and fun with four or five people." [10:22]

Fortune humorously describes a whimsical game called Tissue Shoulder, where players discreetly toss napkins onto others' shoulders without being noticed:

Fortune Feimster [11:13]:
"It's called Tissue Shoulder. You take a napkin, roll it into a small ball, and try to get it on someone's shoulder without them noticing." [11:13]

The segment is filled with laughter and playful banter, showcasing the hosts' creativity and love for interactive games.

---

3. Hypothetical Ghosting: Historical Figures Edition

Listener Carrington from Pittsburgh poses an intriguing question: "Which historical figure would you most want to ghost you after one weird date, and why?" The hosts engage in a whimsical debate, contemplating the repercussions of being ghosted by iconic personalities.

Mae humorously considers the idea of Jesus ghosting her, only to reappear due to his divine nature:

Mae Martin [16:14]:
"Jesus Ghosting me would be really hard because it's for mankind." [16:14]

Fortune counters by expressing a preference for being ghosted by a more flamboyant and less consequential figure, ultimately suggesting a Roman emperor:

Fortune Feimster [17:25]:
"I think I would want to be ghosted by some twisted emperor and we just did really messed up stuff." [17:25]

The discussion takes a humorous turn as they debate the nuances of historical relationships and the potential awkwardness of such ghosting scenarios.

---

4. Embracing Chores: From Laundry to Yard Work

Another caller, Roxy from Ohio, asks the hosts about their favorite chores—tasks that others might shy away from but they find oddly satisfying. Fortune admits a weakness for decluttering her closet:

Fortune Feimster [21:19]:
"My favorite chore is going through everything in my closet and making a pile to donate. It ensures I only have stuff that I wear and like." [21:19]

Mae shares her fondness for outdoor chores, reminiscing about her childhood experiences with yard work and using a hedge trimmer:

Mae Martin [22:20]:
"I love going out there with the trimmer. We have these unruly bushes, and I feel very productive when I’m trimming them." [22:20]

The hosts emphasize the therapeutic benefits of these chores, connecting them to feelings of accomplishment and mental clarity.

---

5. Engaging with the Audience and Community

Throughout the episode, "Handsome" maintains a strong connection with its listeners, encouraging them to send in questions and share their thoughts. The hosts express gratitude towards their audience, fostering a sense of community and inclusivity.

Mae Martin [25:02]:
"Keep sending us your amazing questions at speakpipe.com.handsomepod." [25:02]

They also highlight the importance of feedback and participation, inviting listeners to engage more deeply with the show.

---

Conclusion

"Pretty Little Episode #51" of "Handsome" is a testament to the hosts' ability to blend humor with heartfelt conversations. From astrological insights and favorite games to whimsical hypotheticals and daily chores, Fortune, Mae, and Tig create an inviting space for both entertainment and genuine connection. Their dynamic interactions and willingness to share personal stories make this episode a standout, offering listeners both laughter and relatable moments.

Whether you're a longtime fan or a newcomer, this episode encapsulates the charm and wit that "Handsome" consistently delivers, making it a must-listen for anyone seeking a delightful blend of comedy and conversation.

Transcript

[Fortune Feimster]

This is a headgum podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

[Mae Martin]

Like, you know, to check that your lighter is ready to go before heading to that concert in a big stadium. You want to be able to hold it up high during that slow song. You know the one.

[Tig Notaro]

Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance company and affiliates Northbrook, Illinois.

[Fortune Feimster]

Pretty little episode.

[Mae Martin]

Welcome to the handsome pod for our pre little episode episode.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's fortunate and me I may here in person.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I like doing these with you in person.

[Fortune Feimster]

Me too.

[Mae Martin]

You can like, feel each other's energy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Your energy is good right now.

[Mae Martin]

I'm a big energy person. Did you know this?

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I am a cancer.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

July 1st was my birthday.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And I. I would say if you looked up cancer traits.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I'm pretty full on cancer. Like they're full on cancer. Like, I line up with a lot of that emotional.

[Fortune Feimster]

What else?

[Mae Martin]

I feel energy very deeply.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Especially if I'm close to people. I can. I can tell if something's off.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Mae Martin]

I can walk into a home and tell if there's like bad energy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I can tell if there's good energy.

[Fortune Feimster]

I wonder. It's part of that, like, learned hyper vigilance.

[Mae Martin]

I don't know. From childhood, I've had a psychic tell me that I have to consciously like, like let go of people's energy when I. After I walk out of a room.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think I'm similar. I'm a cancer moon.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I. I feel similarly like people. And I've really tried to, like, in my life be like, which. Who do I feel really good after I hang out with them and feel energized.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And who do I feel? Anxious.

[Mae Martin]

It's important. Yeah. And like, I. It takes me a while to process. I'm emotional. Like, not. Let me just start that over. I'm not an emotional person. I'm very even. But I have deep emotions.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[Mae Martin]

If that makes sense.

[Fortune Feimster]

The rivers run deep.

[Mae Martin]

The rivers run deep. But it takes me a while to process the emotions.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I don't know what I'm feeling. If you were to like, press me, I'm like, I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh.

[Mae Martin]

But I will show you an action.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

That my. What those emotions are and will you take.

[Fortune Feimster]

We say I need time to figure out What I'm feeling.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I'll be like, I just need a minute to be like, how do I feel about this thing? You know? And I just have to, like, internalize it and think about it. I'm a thing. I think a lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I probably overthink.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

But I care about people and. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

A lot of empathy. Keen sense of justice.

[Mae Martin]

I would say, like, a lot of just. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, when someone's wrong.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I'm not. I don't hold grudges or like, anything like that. But if somebody does something I don't think is right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Mae Martin]

I don't like that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm also an overthinker, but I. I'm like, I won't. I won't take time to process. I'll send an essay of my thoughts and feelings, but I'm getting better at processing it.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, I will write things out and give it a minute.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, that's smart. I'm doing that now because then I'll.

[Mae Martin]

Realize the next day, like, oh, you don't need to share all that and you don't need to say all that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Also, people know. People know how you're feeling a lot of the time.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I don't shy away from, like, if I like telling someone, like, a thing about them that's cool. Or like a friend, if I appreciate something about them.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Like, I want to tell you the thing. Like, I. I don't have an ego in, like. Oh, well, it. Look, if I tell someone a nice thing, will I look silly?

[Fortune Feimster]

And the opposite, too. Like, not saying, this is what I don't like about you, but I think you stand up for yourself.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Which is.

[Mae Martin]

I mean, sometimes when you're like, a. Considered a nicer person.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

That's assumed that you let people walk all over you, and I do not.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

You don't suffer, fool. I do not. Well, people can be foolish, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you suffer fools, but you don't suffer. Yeah. Injustice.

[Mae Martin]

I just don't. Yeah. I just don't put up with being treated poorly.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love that. Love that.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. But that took time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

You know, I. I had to get to a point where I liked myself.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I think if you don't like yourself, you do allow that. And I have certainly had years of my life where I have let people walk on me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

But with age and time and therapy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I genuinely like myself.

[Fortune Feimster]

I haven't seen a life coach.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. How's that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Well, great. Because I often start therapy and then it tapers off or I don't. I dread it. And it's like I find it really intense sitting across from somebody and diving into, like, the hardest, deepest stuff. And I also feel like I know so much of it. But this is a more roundabout way. This life coach who is a qualified therapist and psychotherapist as well. But it's just a lot more manageable for me because it's like I could do arts and crafts while we talk.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And we're talking about my day to day life and we made a pie chart of my life and all the different areas.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And it seems more functional and practical and then we can talk around the deeper issues and the things and. And. But for now, I'm finding it less scary than. Than therapy.

[Mae Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm still gonna go to therapy.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I have been.

[Mae Martin]

But I mean, I'm not judging.

[Fortune Feimster]

You looked at me like.

[Mae Martin]

But I'm going through. That's on everybody's own time, you know?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And people go in and out of it sometimes too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Like you said, you go. If you're.

[Mae Martin]

If you're dealing with stuff, you feel like there's more pressing things, and sometimes you need a break from it. You don't want to overanalyze things too. You know, I find that sometimes people get too in their head about things and situations and relationships and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Sometimes you just need to chill.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Yeah. Because if you're just constantly repeating the same stories, I guess that therapy would help you break those stories. But. Yeah. Anyway.

[Mae Martin]

But. Yeah. What is your sign?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm Taurus.

[Mae Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

With cancer moon and Gemini rising. I want to say I don't know.

[Mae Martin]

What my other things are.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think the moon is like your emotional world.

[Mae Martin]

Okay. Well, I'll have to find that out. But I do feel pretty through and through. Cancer.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And I. They say we're moody, too, but I. My mooding is just. I'm not a moody person. I don't find you moody. I just get quiet sometimes. Right. That would be the moodiness. My mom would say I get moody sometimes with her, but that's.

[Fortune Feimster]

You got license to get moody with your mom. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

You regress, but that's just a parent kid thing, I think.

[Fortune Feimster]

But you. Yeah, you. You are a steady person. I mean. Yeah. And you handled fatigue really well. Or you just don't seem to run out of energy. I guess not. What's up with that? Dude?

[Mae Martin]

I don't know. Because. Yeah. I needed To. I'm taking better care of myself right now, which is helpful.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I like that.

[Mae Martin]

My last tour I got very out of hand, then gained a ton of weight and I felt super lethargic. But right now I'm just eating a lot less and trying to work out. And that helps with the energy.

[Fortune Feimster]

It helps with everything.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Although I will get gelato after this recording.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, at that place next door?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Come on.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I'll get a gelato. Sure. Oh my God. What Flav.

[Mae Martin]

I don't know. I gotta see what they have.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cuz there's a place around here that has weird things like bacon flavored ice cream and stuff that I. I'm not into that. No, I want. I want a classic. I'd like a mango sor Sorbet.

[Mae Martin]

They have that at the. I. I like glanced down the way here I have a mango sorbet.

[Fortune Feimster]

Great.

[Mae Martin]

Which is delish.

[Fortune Feimster]

Delish.

[Mae Martin]

Let's get to our questions. After all this sharing of feelings.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know, I know.

[Leticia]

Hi, handsome. My name's Leticia. I'm a longtime listener and a big fanboy of your podcast. And all three of you, I am recording here in Melbourne, Australia.

[Mae Martin]

Melbourne.

[Leticia]

Really need to come and visit and practice your Australian accent. I'd be happy to show you around. My question for you is what is your all time favorite party game and. Or board game?

[Mae Martin]

Party game or board game?

[Fortune Feimster]

Melbourne. Melbourne, Australia.

[Mae Martin]

I'm not gonna do it. Y' all put me in this trap every time where I start doing my Australian accent and Toni Collette tell me it's not good.

[Fortune Feimster]

That was.

[Mae Martin]

That was really pretty great.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, I. I don't know where to start.

[Mae Martin]

Mafia a lot. Oh, Mafia.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mafia is good.

[Mae Martin]

If you've got what traders is based on.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. So if you've got like eight people, it's ideal.

[Mae Martin]

I have been in some amazing mafia games, but especially back in my Groundlings days. Yeah, it was like all comedians and artists.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

So passionate, so dramatic.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was. My God. I played mafia with this is when this was with Parv and a group of people and with Abbi Jacobson and Clea Duvall and a bunch of other people. And it was so intense and so much fun. And Clea is absolutely an assassin. Like she. And it's just so scary to question her. Like she's like, seriously, you think I'm the mafia? And you're like, oh, like she just is. So. She's so good at it. And then. And then my friend accidentally threw a knife across the table. It wasn't a good story by accident, but it almost took an eye out.

[Mae Martin]

Dude, he's so gnarly.

[Fortune Feimster]

He was gesturing and it flew out of his hand. And imagine if that just.

[Mae Martin]

No, that you don't want a game to go that way. Yeah, yeah. Mafia is a good party game. It does take some people a minute to figure out the rules.

[Fortune Feimster]

And to fo. I get. I'm like, guys, we gotta focus. Like, I. Yeah, I can get irritable.

[Mae Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

What about you?

[Mae Martin]

I like that Mexican train game. Have you ever heard of that?

[Fortune Feimster]

What's that?

[Mae Martin]

Like dominoes, but, like, I don't know. I can't remember how it's played, but it's easy to pick up on. But it's a. You, like, stack dominoes in a certain way.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mexican train.

[Mae Martin]

There's another game that Natalie Mains taught me that's really fun with dice, but I don't remember the name of it. God dang it. I'll have to ask her, so I'll tell you next time. Yeah, but you would like that game. It's. You need to, like, four or five people. It's called.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it fast? I like a fast. Like, with dice, it's like you roll.

[Mae Martin]

And if, like, you get sixes or, like, you know, and you have to.

[Fortune Feimster]

Keep score and stuff and there's different rules.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, yeah, but that one's. I know that's not helpful to our listeners, but it's a very fun dice game.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like a game, if you're ever at. I mean, which you will be like the Emmys or you're at, like, a really swanky day, which I always am. Like, how fun would it be to get some big. Some big game going with all those amazing people there? But what. So the game that I like to play, and I played it at the baftas in England, is. It's called tissue shoulder. And all you do is you take a bit of a napkin and you roll it up into a small ball, and then the objective is to get it on the shoulder of someone without them noticing.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then let it stay as long. Yeah, as. Yeah, it's so fun.

[Mae Martin]

And you did this at the Baptist?

[Fortune Feimster]

I did it to some. Some big names people.

[Mae Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mae Martin]

So they ended up being on stage with this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not on stage because it would fall off, but it's more like people are milling around after, or you're sitting in your seat and it's just having to walk by and just play.

[Mae Martin]

Imagine getting caught, though, from like, oh, my God, some big actor they're like.

[Fortune Feimster]

What are you doing, Judi Dench? Knock knocks you out.

[Mae Martin]

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, you know, to check that you follow all the instructions carefully. When you're dog sitting, use the right scoop with the right food. Take them for a nice walk, and don't forget some cuddles on the couch as well.

[Mae Martin]

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[Fortune Feimster]

Should we hear Leticia's answer?

[Leticia]

I have a favorite game that's just called the Hat game.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Leticia]

And it involves a lot of acting and miming and all around chaos, and I think that may you would love it. And if you ever do come to Australia, please make sure to reach out and I will teach you how to play.

[Fortune Feimster]

I hear you.

[Mae Martin]

Okay.

[Leticia]

Thanks for being amazing and keeping me company on all of my dog walks. My boy. My dog is a very bad boy. He's the goodest boy, but he's a very bad.

[Fortune Feimster]

Leticia, I'm there and I know this game, the hat games. You put names in a hat of, like, famous people. Or, I mean, you could even write fake grapes, you know, and put in the hat. And then there's three rounds timed. The first round, you can describe it without using the word. Second round, you can only use one word to describe it. But third round is just mine. But it's really fun because you got to remember all them.

[Mae Martin]

Gotcha. I also like running charades. Oh, yeah, that's fun.

[Fortune Feimster]

What do you mean, running?

[Mae Martin]

Like, you, like, run to different stations and they give you the clues and stuff.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, what? Yeah, I want to do that.

[Mae Martin]

It's fun, it's active, and. Yeah. You go to different people for it.

[Fortune Feimster]

That sounds good.

[Mae Martin]

Clues.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like that. Should we hear another one?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I spaced out. I just left my body. You know what? I just. I just had a whole thought.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where I thought, I really want to post something nice about Fortune on her birthday. And then I thought, maybe I'll get a picture with Fortune today, but I won't say it's for that. And then on the day.

[Mae Martin]

And on the day, I'll post it all. That ran through a split second.

[Fortune Feimster]

I went on a whole journey, and.

[Mae Martin]

Then I was like, I'm honored.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

The other day I was eating with and I said I was trying to think of a Word between breakfast and lunch. And I said to this person, I said, I really wish. I said, I can't believe for a second I thought, I wish there was a word between breakfast and lunch. Because it's just brunch.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's brunch.

[Mae Martin]

But I literally was like, I wish there was a word you said.

[Fortune Feimster]

I wish there was a word.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God. And I was like, what is wrong with me?

[Fortune Feimster]

That's really funny. But lunch, Blanche, we should get Blunge going. Because to me, brunch is still very breakfast focused.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Pancakes. But lunch is more breakfast, I guess.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or more lunch focused.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, yeah. Because it's more in the. The lunch blunt. More of the word.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's great. But how come there's no linear or dunch.

[Mae Martin]

Dunch.

[Fortune Feimster]

There should be a.

[Mae Martin]

Like, between a 4 o' clock situation.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mae Martin]

An aperitif. Yeah, yeah. I love an apertif.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

In Europe, when you, like, go for a drink and they give you all these snacks.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Or like an afternoon tea in England with the scone and.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, I love. Did I tell you that?

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Mae Martin]

I love afternoon teas.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, let's.

[Mae Martin]

With the. All the trays of the scones and sandwiches.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cucumber sandwiches and little pastries. Yeah, me too.

[Mae Martin]

A high tea, they call it, and I am all about it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, man, that's good.

[Mae Martin]

Let's hear our question.

[Carrington]

Hi, my name is Carrington from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. My question for you all today is which historical figure would you most want to ghost you after one weird date? And why you would.

[Fortune Feimster]

Who you would want to ghost you?

[Mae Martin]

Jesus. You'd be like, where'd he go?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that's true. But he'd come back. Jesus.

[Mae Martin]

Would you go, I was seeing this really cool guy who's in his early 30s, long hair. He had all these friends around him all the time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Preaching. He's a little preachy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

But he never judged anyone.

[Fortune Feimster]

He turned my water into wine. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And then all of a sudden, one day, he just disappeared.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait. But to be ghosted by Jesus would.

[Mae Martin]

Be really hard because it's for mankind.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I see.

[Mae Martin]

I see.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right. Okay. Yeah, that takes a sting out of it.

[Mae Martin]

He was sacrificed.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. You're right. You go, well, I gotta respect that.

[Mae Martin]

For the greater good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's a really good answer. I think I would. I want to be ghosted by. Like, if I could have a first date with someone really psycho, you know, who. Who I know would get too attached because they're.

[Mae Martin]

But you want to experience the freak.

[Fortune Feimster]

In the sheets yes. And then they. And then.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And then they worry about the aftermath.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, exactly. Like, we're talking.

[Mae Martin]

Who do you think?

[Fortune Feimster]

Some Roman emperor. Really? Not. I mean, I was gonna say Emperor Nero, but I think he was really dark and.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, I want to go too dark.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I want to just.

[Mae Martin]

What about Joan of Arc?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think Joan of Arc would be two like me.

[Mae Martin]

Like, gender wise.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, we'd be two of the same magnet.

[Mae Martin]

I think I need to go a different flavor.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Like maybe a Cleopatra.

[Mae Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I'd be sad if she ghosted me. Whereas if it was some twisted emperor and we just did really messed up stuff and, like, he put me inside, like, a giant bronze bull, you know?

[Mae Martin]

And then a bronze bull.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, bull.

[Mae Martin]

Bull.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think Nero put. Put people in a giant metal bolt and then killed them. I think, I don't want that, but I want some weird stuff and it would be fun. And then I go. He goes, I kind of want to kill you. And I go, kill me next time. And then he.

[Mae Martin]

And then he goes, yeah, you live.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Not near.

[Mae Martin]

Tell the tell.

[Fortune Feimster]

Whoever sees this and knows, oh, Alexander the Great, maybe. That would be pretty hot. And he was bi.

[Mae Martin]

He was.

[Fortune Feimster]

They all were.

[Mae Martin]

Okay, for sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

But Alexander the Great, his boyfriend died and he built this huge funeral pyre for him. And, like, it was in mourning.

[Mae Martin]

I didn't know all these guys were bi. They were, because it was of the time.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was at the time, I guess. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

No one was judging back then.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

He's murdered people. If you were.

[Fortune Feimster]

Was it Hayden done with him? What was it? Hadrian was his boyfriend, and that's where Hadrian.

[Mae Martin]

I've never heard this. Have you? Thomas, were you aware of Alexander the Gay?

[Fortune Feimster]

I. I didn't know about that. Hadrian was Antinous's boyfriend. Okay, who were you on? Wait. Alexander the Great's boyfriend, King Darius's eunuch named Bagois, was he took as his lover? Oh, I could be a unit. I've got unique energy.

[Mae Martin]

I like it when they say took as his lover.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And will you take a lover?

[Mae Martin]

Will you take a lover? Do you ever use the word lover?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I can't. I can't. And even when people go, hey, lover.

[Mae Martin]

Hey, lover.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think I can do it.

[Mae Martin]

This is my lover. That's. Did you ever see that Will Ferrell, Rachel Drouch sketch?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Be like my lover in the hot tub.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mae Martin]

It is such a word. My lover. This is my love.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, it's a really Nice way to put it, in a way. But yeah, instead of, like, what? Let's hear Carrington's answer.

[Carrington]

My answer? Nikola Tesla. I just feel like he'd show up in a weird cape over, explain his crystals, and then disappear into a puff of pigeon feathers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, this is a different, like, take on Tesla than I'm used to. Like, like.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because that he would explode into pigeon feathers and he was this sort of mystical Merlin figure. I like that. No, I did an escape room that was Tesla themed.

[Mae Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. It was a lot of wires and knobs. It was too, like, intricate. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Should we do a quick one? One quick one, Quick one.

[Roxy]

Hey, handsomes. This is Roxy from Ohio. I love listening to you, especially when I'm doing chores and different things around the house or running errands. I feel like I'm so much more productive because I feel like I'm part of the conversation and just hanging out with y'.

[Leticia]

All.

[Mae Martin]

Aww. Okay.

[Roxy]

But my question is, what is your favorite kind of chore? Something that you like to do that just kind of. It's. It's weird, but. And no one else wants to do it, but you're just like, oh, yeah, I'll do it.

[Fortune Feimster]

The name on everybody's lift is gonna be Roxy. Thanks for going with me on that.

[Mae Martin]

You're welcome.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm gonna. Scary. I have, like, a spending problem, but not for big items. So just I buy clothes, like, online late at night. Like, I'm just clicking, clicking. So I end up having a lot of stuff that I don't wear. And I'm not good at returning stuff. So my favorite is to go through everything in my closet and make a pile of stuff to donate. And then. And then, like, see that my closet only has stuff that I wear that I like.

[Mae Martin]

White T shirts.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, basically it's this. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

You just spend all this money to.

[Fortune Feimster]

Suspend it because I get excited at night. I think I could wear that plaid.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Double breasted suit.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. That's a good one. I love clearing stuff out. That's a nice feeling. I don't like a lot of stuff.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I don't like to accumulate, so there is something very freeing about donating things and throwing things away.

[Fortune Feimster]

Marie Kondoing. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

This doesn't spark joy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And you do that voice to yourself.

[Mae Martin]

Is it sparking joy?

[Fortune Feimster]

Mae, do you, like, sweep and vacuum and do all that?

[Mae Martin]

I don't mind vacuuming. When. When Jax and I were together, she was kind of that. That she was very good about all that. Stuff. I don't mind the outdoor. Some of the outdoor stuff, because when I was growing up, that was my chore.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Was yard work. So there's. We have, like, a. Like a thing that you cut bushes with.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I don't know.

[Mae Martin]

Trimmer. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hedge trimmer.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I love going out there with that thing. We have these bushes that get unruly.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can imagine you like Edward Scissorhands whipping a foot shape of.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Very.

[Mae Martin]

There's these. These warm bushes that just grow, like, constantly. And I go out there, like, yeah, I feel very. I'm like, yeah. But. Yeah, I feel very productive in that.

[Fortune Feimster]

I tonight have nothing to do and. But I have a list of, like, 20 chores to do and, like, laundry, and I've been on tour. Like, I have stuff in my suitcase, and I'm going to put something on and do it. Like. Do you listen to a podcast or music?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, music podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think I'll listen to some really awful true crime, probably.

[Mae Martin]

All right.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't help myself. What is that about?

[Mae Martin]

I think that's just what you're into, I guess. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Maybe I'll listen to Handsome. Like, I haven't listened since.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, check us out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Honestly.

[Mae Martin]

Well.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, a friend of mine just started listening from episode one. She was like, I never listened to it. And she was saying things from episode one that I was like, that's pretty funny, I think. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Go back and listen.

[Fortune Feimster]

We could hear some of our quotes. Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Pineapple apart.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Goes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I'm trying to think. Two against one started back then.

[Fortune Feimster]

We need more quotes.

[Mae Martin]

I know it's been a minute since we've created a new one, but I don't know if Aunties.

[Fortune Feimster]

That we've stopped being quotable or that people have stopped.

[Mae Martin]

Stop quoting.

[Fortune Feimster]

Quoting us. Yeah. Or, like, stopped lifting.

[Mae Martin]

Guys, have you gone away from our quote?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Please keep it going. If there's. If there's anything in here worth quoting, anything, please, please. Let's hear Roxy's answer.

[Roxy]

Mine is folding laundry. I hate putting it away. I hate everything else about it, but I do enjoy folding laundry.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I. I find laundry very Zen.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think Tig likes laundry, too. Yeah. It smells so fresh and clean and. Yeah, but I agree. Putting it away, no good.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, leave it in a pile on the sofa.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Folded neatly.

[Mae Martin]

Well, what a treat.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a treat. As always, lovely to see you, bud.

[Mae Martin]

You, too.

[Fortune Feimster]

And thanks, everyone, for sending in your. Your amazing questions. Keep sending them in speakpipe.com. handsome pod.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, give us questions, advice Whatever you want.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. If you need advice.

[Mae Martin]

We have not gotten many advice questions and I'm asking for them every time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I would love that.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. I guess all that remains is to keep it pretty. Handsome Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Wuellette. Email [e-mail] and follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast that was a hit.

[Tig Notaro]

Gun Podcast Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First.

[Mae Martin]

Like, you know to check that you've got a bookmark with you when you're reading a long book on the plane. Nothing's worse than losing your spot and then having to spend five minutes finding your page. Again.

[Tig Notaro]

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I have a new podcast on Head Gum called Next. We have. Now this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how law works. Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Doughboys play a game called Meal or no Meal. And Steph, Tola and I go head to head on a thought provoking game called Guess that sounds. The show is as dumb as it sounds and we probably have more fun than we should, but it's a great time and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next we have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast. Apparently.