Handsome Podcast: Pretty Little Episode #54

Date: August 29, 2025
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Mae Martin (Fortune Feimster not present in this episode)
Theme: Listeners' questions spark heartfelt and humorous conversations about grief, parasocial relationships with artists, family routines, and reconnecting with joy after loss.

Episode Overview

In this "pretty little episode," Tig and Mae share candid reflections on grief and the power of art to foster connections—both real and imagined. Responding to thoughtful listener questions, they discuss the intimacy of parasocial relationships, childhood routines (like doing the dishes), and the delight in simple acts of silliness and self-care. Amidst playful banter, personal anecdotes, and their trademark humor, the hosts cultivate a welcoming space for laughter as well as vulnerability.

Key Discussion Points

1. Theme Song & Technical Hiccups (00:51–01:06)

• Mae and Tig joke about Tig not being able to hear the theme song, setting a light, bantering tone for the episode.
  • Mae: "It's so weird that I am the one that can't hear it, but either way, welcome to a pretty little episode." (01:06)

2. Reflections on Grief and Legacy (02:01–04:28)

• Grieving Andrea's Passing
  • Tig discusses the waves of grief after losing their friend Andrea, and the heaviness it sometimes brings.
    • "As grief goes, it goes up and down and sideways, and I definitely feel, like, a heaviness in my chest today." — Tig (02:27)
  • Both hosts are moved by the strong listener response to a recent episode about Andrea and the afterlife, with many sharing tears and a renewed appreciation for Andrea’s poetry.
    • "So many people were saying that they were crying and that they were then doing a deep dive into Andrea's work." — Mae (02:54)
    • "All are welcome on the bandwagon…let's get more eyes on." — Mae (03:46)
    • "How great that Andrea's poetry is just spreading like wildfire." — Tig (03:51)
• The Personal Connection to Artists
  • Mae reflects on how art forms bonds with people you've never met, sharing how she commemorated Elliott Smith's birthday, despite never having known him.

3. Everyday Life Updates & Humor (04:28–09:17)

• Mae shares her plans for a Lake Arrowhead vacation, brainstorming ways to actually "unplug" and relax:
  • Plans to stock up on groceries, set up painting and music stations, and experiment with a phone-locking box.
  • "I bought this box that you lock your phone in for, like, five hours..." — Mae (07:29)
  • Tries a Dr. Joe Dispenza sleep meditation, sleeps ten hours for the first time in ages, jokes about being "subliminally messaged."
    • "I honestly feel great." — Mae (08:09)
• Tig recounts a Dodgers charity event, sharing a sweet story about her kids' reactions to meeting the players.
  • "Finn... saw a ghost the whole night... but he talks incessantly... just shut down a little bit." — Tig (09:45–10:17)
• Mae relays a funny anecdote from friend Sabrina about her son’s midnight emotional outburst.
  • "He goes, I thought you were offending me. That's so good." — Mae (11:12)
• Memorable quote: "The reaction to thinking someone is offending you is to go and cry hard and loud." — Mae (11:23)

Audience Questions Segment

4. Parasocial Relationships: Feeling Friends with People You’ve Never Met (12:18–17:36)

Listener Question from Anna (12:18): "Is there anyone real or fictional that you've never met, but you feel like you're friends with them, and if so, who are they and how have they impacted your life?"

• Tig: Relates this idea to Andrea, referencing the intimacy people feel with her poetry and art.
  • "I feel like everyone that has gotten into Andrea feels like they know Andrea so deeply." — Tig (12:36)
• Mae: Jokes about wanting to be pals with "Mr. Christ" (Jesus), then admits to feeling an imaginary friendship with comedian Benito Skinner.
  • "I'd like to think I'd get along with JC. I'd like to think he would be..." — Mae (13:36)
  • "I've met [Benito Skinner] maybe once, but in my mind, we were good friends because I just love his material." — Mae (14:14)
• Tig: Shares a story about briefly meeting Anderson Cooper in a green room and feeling like they could be friends. Looks forward to being on his podcast.
  • "I really, really enjoyed following his news stories... I'm just really familiar with him.” — Tig (15:49)
• Mae: Reflects on being nervous to meet Sarah Silverman, whose reaction was playfully underwhelming but led to real friendship.
  • "I start telling some long anecdote... halfway through, she goes, 'I'm sorry, I wasn't listening to any of that.' I was like, awesome. But now we're pals." — Mae (16:35)
• Listener Anna's Answer (17:36):
  • Anna shares how she feels connected to the hosts themselves, having listened through life milestones like pregnancy, sleepless nights, and tough days.
    • "You've joined me... on many walks, being very pregnant in the heat of Texas... on some sleepless nights with a little infant..." — Anna (17:41)
• Hosts react warmly, expressing surprise and gratitude at the long-term connection listeners feel to the podcast.
  • "It's such a fun thing too, to get into the silliness. But then again, our listeners allowing us to flip over to the grief." — Tig (18:31)
  • "It's like a long-term relationship... people really have been through..." — Mae (18:52)

5. Family Dishes Routine: Clean Up or Let Them Sit? (19:29–23:15)

Listener Question from Kristin (19:29): "Did you grow up in a 'dishes done after dinner' kind of family, or more a 'let them sit' kind of thing? And what are you now?"

• Tig: Grew up in a "dishes done immediately" family. Still prefers to get it done, but isn't as fast as her wife Stephanie, who attacks dirty dishes with immediate gusto. Enjoys helping with cleanup at parties.

  • "If something is really stuck on a pan or a dish, I like for it to soak." — Tig (20:03)

• Mae: More casual—dishes sometimes sit for a couple of hours, but not left too long. Growing up, it was a stricter "dishes done" rule.

  • "I'm pretty untidy, but I'm not like, filthy... but growing up, it was dishes done after dinner for sure." — Mae (21:33)

• Tig: Suggests they should sell personal items (like Mae’s stack of outgrown clothes) on the show’s website for charity.

  • "We should have personal items for sale from Handsome." — Tig (22:22)
  • "I think the first thing I'd sell is that panda in Mae's house." — Tig (22:50)

• Mae: Office has become a “dumping ground for stuff”—relatable and funny.

• Listener Kristin’s Answer (23:16):

  • Grew up with dishes done after dinner, now admits to letting them sit, saying, "I think my parents would be moderately mortified at just how much of a Let them sit person I have become."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "As grief goes, it goes up and down and sideways..." — Tig (02:27)
• "All are welcome on the bandwagon... let's get more eyes on." — Mae (03:46)
• "I will buy a flute, of course. Why wouldn't you be playing the flute?" — Tig (04:44)
• "I kept inviting people up [to Lake Arrowhead], and... I feel like I should be doing stuff all the time." — Mae (05:48)
• "I bought this box that you lock your phone in for, like, five hours..." — Mae (07:29)
• "I thought you were offending me." — Mae quoting Sabrina’s son (11:12)
• "I'd like to think I'd get along with JC. I'd like to think he would be..." — Mae (13:36)
• "Have you heard that before, Thomas? Mr. Christ." — Tig (13:51)
• "I'm just really familiar with him." — Tig on Anderson Cooper (15:49)
• "She goes, 'I'm sorry, I wasn't listening to any of that.' I was like, awesome. That's great. But it was perfect." — Mae on Sarah Silverman (16:04)
• "You all have joined me through many a time in my life." — Anna, Listener (17:41)
• "We should have personal items for sale from Handsome." — Tig (22:22)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• Grief and Andrea’s Legacy: 02:01–04:28
• Mae’s Vacation Plans & Self-Care: 04:28–09:17
• Dodgers Story & Family Anecdotes: 09:17–11:12
• Listener Q1 – Parasocial Relationships: 12:18–17:36
• Listener Q2 – Dishes at Home: 19:29–23:38

Closing

• The hosts encourage listeners to send in more advice and personal questions.
• Both promote upcoming live shows (Los Angeles, Toronto, Biloxi, Largo), and Tig urges continuing to share Andrea Gibson’s poetry.
  • "Just keep deep diving into Andrea Gibson's poetry and tell your friends. Share one of your favorite episodes of Handsome with somebody that you think will enjoy this." — Tig (24:15)
  • "Check out my social media and I'm at Largo at the end of the month." — Mae (24:38)

Summary

Episode 54 is a blend of gentle humor and heartfelt connection, moving seamlessly from life's heaviness to laughter and back. The hosts field listener questions that prompt rich discussions about missing friends, feeling close to people we've never met, the comfort of long-time companions (real or fictional), and the family quirks that shape us. There's warmth, vulnerability, lots of laughs— and a running invitation for listeners to move from passive observers to active contributors, making the Handsome podcast as much a community as it is a weekly show.