A (1:57)

Was great. Handsome got podcast of the year at Just for Laughs.

C (2:01)

Yeah, we did.

A (2:03)

Yeah. So I'm sure we'll mention that on the. The main pod, but, yo, May and I were there and accepted the award on all of our behalfs, and it was fun. And then I did May's show that night, so we had a 2/3 handsome situation going on.

C (2:23)

Amazing.

A (2:25)

Yeah, it was a week of hosting. I hosted Jimmy Kimmel for a couple nights.

C (2:29)

Right. How was that?

A (2:31)

It was super fun. I wore suits every night. Keeping it handsome.

C (2:36)

Ooh, I bet I saw like a picture video or something. And you looked quite sharp.

A (2:44)

Oh, thanks.

C (2:45)

And quite fit.

A (2:49)

Oh, well, that's sweet.

C (2:52)

I mean, I know you. You're a full blown gun show these days.

A (2:56)

I've been trying to be better about it. I was eating a lot this week, though, because I was.

C (3:01)

You're hungry.

A (3:02)

Hungry and working all day every day. Yeah, but I. I had a blast. It Was so fun to get to, like, dip my toe in that world.

C (3:13)

What did you enjoy the most?

A (3:14)

My mom got to be on the show, which was really cool.

C (3:18)

She is becoming a full blown star.

A (3:21)

I know.

C (3:22)

Is she flying private yet?

A (3:24)

Not yet. That's not happening. They had a last minute cancellation and someone brought it up and wow. I floated it past her and she was like, absolutely. So she literally did like five hours of chemo and then got on a flight that night.

C (3:44)

Whoa.

A (3:44)

Yeah. But had the time of her life. She.

C (3:47)

You're both workhorses.

A (3:49)

That's right. She got so much good. So many people wrote her about it. And Arnold Schwarzenegger was the other guest that night and he brought out flowers, sir. It was a really sweet moment.

C (4:02)

That's nice.

A (4:03)

And then I interviewed Mariah Carey, which was quite the treat.

C (4:08)

Are you a fan?

A (4:10)

I love her. She is a diva in the best ways and just, you know, so mysterious and iconic. And I just felt like I was living the dream of every gay man in the world. And I. Wait.

C (4:25)

Okay, go ahead.

A (4:26)

Loved it. I've commented on her boobs on the show. Yeah, they were take. They were so prevalent, you couldn't not mention them.

C (4:39)

I would not have mentioned them.

A (4:41)

I did it. It was a fun, playful way. I was just like, your boobs are look great. Now wait a minute.

C (4:50)

That's not very mysterious of her to have your boobs out.

A (4:54)

The boobs were not mysterious for sure.

C (4:56)

What is mysterious? What is mysterious?

A (4:58)

She's just an enigma, you know, like, you don't ever really know what she's doing. And you know why she's doing it? Because she's Mariah. She's infamous for her episode of Cribs where she wore high heels on a StairMaster. She just does things you don't expect.

C (5:18)

I've heard that she's famously late, which.

A (5:22)

She was late.

C (5:23)

Yeah, I heard. I've heard that she is outrageously lame.

A (5:28)

Well, I think every concert definitely starts.

C (5:30)

Like several hours late, but even me meetings. I've heard. Yes, I've heard that she shows or like interviews. I've heard that, like, she doesn't come downstairs maybe for a few hours.

A (5:42)

Yeah, she was late, but we were told she would be late, so everyone was prepped for it. But not as late as she could have. As she could have been. Yeah, it was reasonable. I had a fun interview with her and afterwards she told me it was the funniest interview she's had in decades.

C (6:02)

Oh, that's amazing.

A (6:03)

So, yeah, we really hit it off.

C (6:05)

And let Let me go back and ask you what is reasonably late?

A (6:10)

I think her call down was three, and she got there at 4:30.

C (6:13)

Okay, that's reasonable.

A (6:15)

Show started taping at four. I think we held 10 minutes. So essentially, in her mind, she was on the road.

C (6:25)

She was early. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (6:29)

But it. It was. She was a trip. I was. I was honored that she even said yes because, you know, sometimes they want the host. They want the host because the. You know, they're a big star.

C (6:42)

And yeah, she.

A (6:44)

I don't think she knew of me. And she took a chance and did it and had a blast. And after the show, she. I went in her dress room and chatted with her, and she was so fun and was like, what are you. What's. What are you in next? I got to look up, you know, your next movie or whatever. And she just was really cool.

C (7:05)

Nice. Did you tell her about handsome?

A (7:07)

I didn't. I should have.

C (7:10)

Yeah.

A (7:10)

I felt like if I tried to explain to her and then ask her for a question, she was like, girl, get out of here.

C (7:18)

And you'd be like, well, at least she got my gender right.

A (7:22)

That's true. But, yeah, it was a good week.

C (7:27)

I was only asking, what is reasonably late? Just because I think you remember I told you about I was three minutes late to somebody's show once, and they were really upset with me.

A (7:40)

Yeah. That's an unreasonable thing to be mad about. Not an unreasonably late time.

C (7:46)

Yeah. So I was just curious if you were gonna say she was three minutes late.

A (7:52)

No, she was an hour and a half. But Arnold, on the other hand, hit the show taped at 4, and they asked him to be at rehearsal at 2, and he was there at 2.

C (8:05)

Okay.

A (8:06)

And, you know, most big movie stars, like that would be like, I'm not coming to rehearsal.

C (8:11)

Huh.

A (8:12)

And he. Because he was part of the monologue as well.

C (8:15)

I see. Okay.

A (8:16)

So it was fun.

C (8:17)

Well, good. I'm glad it was a good time.

A (8:20)

I appreciate it.

C (8:22)

And then, like, what about late night and hosting late night? Are you like, oh, I like this?

A (8:28)

Or I liked it a lot.

C (8:30)

But, like, what specific were you like? Oh, I like the monologue the most. Or, oh, I loved the sitting down, talking to the guests. Or, oh, I thought run through was really fun. Or.

A (8:40)

Yeah.

C (8:40)

You know.

A (8:41)

Well, Jimmy staff is so lovely and.

C (8:44)

Yeah.

A (8:45)

And fun and positive that the days were very. Felt very easy.

C (8:49)

Mm.

A (8:50)

I mean, I was nervous for sure, but they made me feel like, well taken care of.

C (8:55)

Did you feel nervous when you were Taping or when you.

A (8:58)

A little bit. When I first started the monologue, but then I got much looser as the week went. Went on.

C (9:05)

Uh huh.

A (9:06)

You know, it's just the. The monologue I really enjoyed. It's just getting that reading the teleprompter down.

C (9:12)

Mm. Yeah. Yeah.

A (9:14)

The interviews are fun, but they are a lot more to juggle because you're just trying to like, listen to the people. You're trying to think of the next question, listen to their answer.

C (9:24)

You're trying to care about what they're saying.

A (9:26)

Yes. And watch the time to make sure you wrap it up or get enough. You have to either get enough or wrap it up. So it's just a little bit more moving part. So I'd say the monologue is the most fun. Yeah.

C (9:42)

Do you want your own talk show?

A (9:44)

I would not be opposed to it. I don't.

C (9:46)

Yeah.

A (9:47)

I don't know that late nights, how much of a future it has.

C (9:51)

Right.

A (9:52)

With Colbert getting canceled. That feels. Feels like the beginning of some tide turning.

C (10:00)

Yeah.

A (10:00)

But it was really fun to get to. To try.

C (10:04)

Well, great. Congrats again.

A (10:06)

Should we get to some questions?

C (10:09)

I think we should get to some questions. I mean, that's why we're here. So. So why not give the people what they want?

A (10:15)

Let's do it.

D (10:16)

Hi, my handsome babies. This is Star. Like twinkle, twinkle. So you know how in the high school yearbook people vote for class clown or best hair or most likely to. What category did you want to win in high school? And what category would you want to win today? Feel free to make up new categories for today's yearbook.

A (10:38)

Huh?

C (10:40)

Well, I only made it to 9th grade.

A (10:46)

Stop bragging.

C (10:49)

I only made it to 9th grade and I dropped out. So I probably deep down wanted to be voted funniest. But in a really funny twist, my best friend.

A (11:05)

Got that.

C (11:06)

Got that. Yeah.

A (11:07)

Oh, wow.

C (11:08)

Yeah. And I think she would admit I'm funnier than her. I'm fun.

A (11:14)

Well, I mean, you are a professional comedian now, so that's not hard to believe.

C (11:20)

I know. I just. I don't want to say it at a regular level, you know, because she does listen to this podcast from time to time.

A (11:28)

Well, you took yourself out of the.

C (11:29)

Running by quitting school, failing, and dropping out.

A (11:36)

Yeah.

C (11:36)

Thomas, did I tell you that Beth won the funniest person? No, I don't think I knew that.

A (11:41)

That's funny.

C (11:44)

Yeah. I mean, Beth is a very fun, funny, great sense of humor person, but I don't think anybody was like this one's. A clown right here.

A (11:53)

Right.

C (11:54)

Because she's so, like, just a good. Also a very good person and, like, earnest and kind and, you know, not that you can't be that, but she just made good grades. She, you know, she just always excels and does the right thing and. And I was not. And anyway, it was a funny twist in our friendship. That is a twist. She got it. But there you are.

A (12:27)

I actually was voted wittiest, which is our version of funniest.

C (12:33)

Oh, so you got the grand prize.

A (12:35)

I got the grand prize. I actually was voted two. I was voted wittiest and most athletic, and they asked. Told me to choose.

C (12:44)

Wow. Fortune. Overachiever.

A (12:47)

I thought, well, I. I even at the time, I was like, I would rather be known as being funny than being athletic.

C (12:54)

And why is that?

A (12:55)

Because back then I thought, well, clearly everyone knows I'm athletic. Whereas now everyone's like, well, we know you're funny. We didn't know you were athletic.

C (13:04)

And what were your soccer? Is that. What. What was that one?

A (13:09)

In high school I played. Soccer was one of my sports. I didn't play in high school, though.

C (13:14)

Softball.

A (13:15)

Softball. Basketball and tennis.

C (13:18)

My God, no wonder you got those calves.

A (13:21)

I mean, these calves have been popping my whole life.

C (13:24)

Yeah. Yeah.

A (13:25)

So, yeah, I. I got those. Superlative. That superlative then. But if I had to choose one now, would you have one that you could think of now?

C (13:36)

Oh, I just remembered a joke from the first year I started doing stand up. I used to make a joke that I was Votus in. In high school. I was voted least likely.

A (13:48)

Just least likely?

C (13:50)

Yes. That's the end of the joke.

A (13:52)

That's it. That's funny.

C (13:58)

Maybe I'll bring that back.

A (14:04)

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B (14:08)

Like, you know to check and see when your favorite bird is due to be migrating through your local area. That's when it's time to grab your binoculars and get your bird watching on.

A (14:17)

Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings. Vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

C (14:32)

What would I want now? Most likely to live to be a hundred.

A (14:42)

Oh, nice. I like that.

C (14:45)

Yeah. Well, I don't know if I told you, but Stephanie said she wants to die together, and I told her I'm 15 years older. So I have bad news. You're for sure gonna die alone and I said, the good news is you can start dating. You'll have a whole new life. And she's like, no, we have to die together so you can do it. And so that kind of did kickstart me wanting to, like, really take care of myself.

A (15:11)

Want to live.

C (15:12)

Yeah. And so I want to see if I can just how far I can go. But so her, she's. Her goal in life is always to. To live to be a hundred. And I said, well, if I have to live to be a hundred, you have to live to be 115, so that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw you crunching those numbers.

A (15:33)

I know. I was like, yeah, okay.

C (15:35)

Okay. Yeah.

A (15:37)

Well, I like it. I like that y' all love each other that much that she can't bear the thought of being on earth without you. That's very romantic.

C (15:48)

What are we gonna do, just both have a heart attack at this on the same day?

A (15:52)

There are some couples that like. Yeah, well, even Sarah Silverman's dad and her stepmom. Wasn't it like, pretty soon? Yeah, but there are some couples that, like, have been together so long that when one dies, the other one's just like, I'm out. Yeah, this is it. And they just die a couple days apart.

C (16:13)

Yeah.

A (16:14)

Well, I love that superlative. I would. Maybe the. The. The one that's the most on the nose would be best games.

C (16:22)

Oh, yes, of course.

A (16:25)

I would want. I would hope that I would win that superlative. You would for best games.

C (16:31)

Well, then I would win best dumpster tits.

A (16:37)

But I think the superlative for our podcast would prob someone winning most handsome or best guns.

C (16:46)

Yeah, I think we should all three wrestle at once.

A (16:49)

We should. This sounds.

C (16:51)

Put it on the list for our.

A (16:58)

The three of us just. Wrestling is wild.

C (17:02)

Mud wrestling. Mud wrestling. Thomas.

A (17:06)

Wrestling, please.

C (17:08)

In bikinis. Put it.

A (17:12)

You. And they can be in bikini.

C (17:15)

You can be.

A (17:15)

May would be top. May would be topless. So would I. Oh, yeah. Dumpster tits would be topless.

C (17:21)

Hey, don't call me that. And then you would be in a sexy bikini.

A (17:26)

I am not gonna be.

C (17:29)

Yes, you are.

A (17:30)

I will definitely have my top on. And it will be a full blown.

C (17:33)

For one second and then it's coming off.

A (17:38)

You have to be trying to rip it off. How dare you? Yeah, well, God, this sounds highly sexual.

C (17:45)

Okay, you jumped a few steps here.

A (17:49)

Dude. I'm just mud wrestling with my friends.

C (17:53)

Nothing.

A (17:59)

So funny. Well, one of these days when we have our hands, we'll have a. We'll have to have A handsome cruise. Yeah, cruise. And we'll ask the ship to provide a mud wrestling stick.

C (18:12)

When you said that, I pictured the three of us talking to the actual ship, like the outside of it docked. And I was saying, can you. Should we hear what Star, as in Twinkle Twinkle has to say?

A (18:25)

Let's hear it.

D (18:26)

I won best looking. But I always wanted to be voted funniest. And in today's yearbook, I'd love to be voted most likely to die surrounded by 101 Dalmatians, because dogs are the greatest. Love, you guys.

C (18:46)

Well, I thought she was gonna say surrounded by 101 year olds. I was like, well, I guess I can push it one more year. And second of all, Star, send in a photo. Okay. You can't just be dropping I'm the hottest one in my school and then not give us a peekaboo. Am I right?

A (19:06)

I think Star wanted to ask us that question just to drop. Yeah, she was voted hottest in school for sure. Way to go, Star.

C (19:15)

What if I told you I won hottest in my school?

A (19:19)

I would love that. I would be so happy to hear that.

C (19:24)

I, I. Oh, look, when someone sent.

A (19:26)

My mom, they said this to my mom, by the way, not to me. It was too Ginger Feimster.

C (19:32)

Okay, dyke. I did. I can't see what's on the picture, though.

A (19:37)

It's you.

C (19:39)

Oh, it is.

A (19:40)

That's your picture.

C (19:42)

I have terrible eyesight of you being very handsome. Yes, Indeed. I was 19. 18, 19. Right there.

A (19:50)

So I could see, I could see this gal getting voted hottest.

C (19:54)

Wait, why does it say okay, dyke comma, let's see.

A (20:00)

It's okay. Oh, you're right.

C (20:03)

That seems like somebody made a mess.

A (20:05)

The comma is supposed to be in between the words, right?

C (20:08)

For sure, sure.

A (20:13)

They're like, I know there's a common there somewhere. Just throw it in.

C (20:17)

On what planet would Ginger Feimster wear that T shirt that said okay?

A (20:22)

Well, she, she walked out with it. And she goes, what is this? And she goes, and why is it getting sent to me? And I was like, that's Tig and it's one of takes jokes that take not even a handsome pod and life. So now people say, okay, dyke, I.

C (20:46)

Need to get some okay, dyke merch made.

A (20:49)

Yeah, you do.

C (20:50)

All right. Do we have another, another question?

E (20:55)

Hello, my name is Sid and I am from just north of New York City. I am a huge fan of the pot and all of your work individually. I am also an English language arts teacher for high school students. And my question concerns the part of Teaching ELA that I struggle with most, and that is writing personal narratives. Although my students have many interesting stories, they never seem to know how to start. And so I was wondering if you could share something, like, about your process when writing personal narratives for your standup routines or any of your work.

A (21:34)

Hmm.

C (21:36)

Here's what I'm gonna say about where to start. I always think about how it's helpful, typically, to just get into it.

A (21:48)

Yeah.

C (21:49)

Where does the story begin? And for sure, it can help to tee something up. Am I answering this question correctly? Yep, you are. It's certainly helpful to tee something up. And as we discussed, the brilliant Andrea Gibson passed away very sadly. And I've been on my walks in the morning. I've been thinking about what am I going to say? Because Andrea's memorial is coming up that I'm going to speak at. And what I keep going back to is, what do I want to say? And just get into it. Just start where it started at the beginning. And that doesn't necessarily mean start at the beginning of time of knowing the person, but this is what I want to say.

A (22:48)

Right.

C (22:48)

And where does that begin? Just get in. Because if you think in terms of, like, an editor. Mm. You know.

A (22:55)

Yeah.

C (22:56)

Cut it down. What do you want to say? Get into it. I don't know if that's helpful.

A (23:02)

No, I think it's very helpful because that is sometimes the hardest part is just learning where to start. When you get this, like, assignment, you're like, where do I even begin? Like, when people are going to write a book or something. And I think that is the best thing. Just like, you gotta start somewhere. So, I mean, I do the same similar thing if. Because all of my stories are based on something that happened. So I just take, like, what actually happened, and I write it out as it actually happened. This happened, then this happened, then this happened, then this happened. And so I just get it out in a way that's, like, factual. And then I start filling in the gaps with jokes or punchlines or like, oh, that's not descriptive enough. Let me change that word. And I just sort of. Yeah. Get out the. The what happened of it all and. And then elevate it later. So that's my process.

C (24:04)

I was just thinking about when I wrote my book called I'm Just a Person. I started my first chapter the moment I left the hospital after my mother died.

A (24:16)

Oh, wow.

C (24:18)

And that was. I can't even explain because if you put aside, like, you get into. You just get into it. Everything that happened in 2012 with health and death and relationship, everything that went to hell in my life. That was something that was so scarring because I was alone and I got into a taxi at three in the morning after my mother died and the taxi driver, I think, was tweaking.

A (24:51)

Oh gosh.

C (24:52)

And the craziest situation took place when I needed to just quietly drive home or I needed the comfort of a stranger and I was sent on a hell ride. Oh, jeez. And so I wanted to just start my book right there and then in using that, let that kind of open every other story about my mother, about where my health was, about where my life was. It just, I don't know, I don't know why I just felt so compelled to start there.

A (25:25)

Yeah.

C (25:26)

So I guess I'm bringing that up because you don't have to start from the beginning. You can use a jumping off point that will open the doors to the beginning, middle, end and whatever. So anyways, I love it.

A (25:39)

I think that's solid advice.

C (25:41)

Same, same. Let's. Let's hear what Sid's answer is.

E (25:45)

My answer, what I say to try to help them is don't begin at the beginning. Just start where you have an image in your mind or the writing flows easily. And who knows, maybe the introduction will grow from there. Thank you so much. And if you do answer my question, I will play it in class for my students.

A (26:05)

Aw.

C (26:07)

Well, hi students. Yeah, good luck, students.

A (26:11)

Good luck.

C (26:12)

Thank you for. And that wasn't sarcastic. It's really like, good luck, students.

A (26:17)

Good luck. You've got this.

C (26:19)

Yes, yes, yes. And Sid, so do you. And thank you for writing in or actually calling in. And thanks to everyone that has submitted questions. We love getting them. They're always fun and like, wow, I didn't expect that. Like Sids and star like twinkle, twinkle and yeah. Do you have anything that you want to share Fortune before we head out of here?

A (26:45)

No, just on the road doing a ton of shows. Some fun cities coming up like Chicago and Atlanta and Mobile and Richmond and D.C. so get your tickets.

C (26:59)

Nice. West Hampton, New York. Provincetown, Massachusetts. Biloxi, Mississippi. Go to tignotaro.com also if you like the podcast, share an episode, share your favorite episode, share this episode and help us build this handsome, handsome community. And until next time, keep it, keep it pretty.

A (27:23)

Handsome.

B (27:26)

Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin Tig Notaro and Fortune Feamster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handsomepodmail.com and please follow us on social media. Ansomepod.

A (27:42)

What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hit.

B (27:48)

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A (27:55)

Like you know to check that you have your small notebook with you when you're going on a phone free walk. That way if you have any deep, interesting thoughts you can write them down to read later.

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