Pretty Little Episode #69

Summary

Handsome Podcast - Pretty Little Episode #69

Date: December 12, 2025
Hosts: Mae Martin, Fortune Feimster
Summary by Time Markers

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic “Handsome” conversation between two of the three “pretty little hosts”: Mae Martin and Fortune Feimster. The episode features Mae’s continuing saga with learning to drive in LA (!), a hilarious and slightly surreal debate about which animals they’d choose to ride if cars didn’t exist, and a question about Justin Trudeau’s legacy—now oddly entwined with pop star Katy Perry.

Listeners from around the world send in questions big and small, and the hosts weave their answers through stories, tangents, and plenty of self-deprecating humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mae’s Driving Lessons in LA ([01:39]–[04:47])

• Mae’s Driving Adventures: Mae recounts her third driving lesson, including her terrifying virgin trip on LA freeways (405 and 101) in a convertible with a new instructor named Robert—who is apparently a bit too chatty and phone-happy for Mae’s taste.
• Highway Fears: Mae: “When I look over my shoulder before I change lanes, the minute my eyes leave the road the car starts to drift.” ([02:51])
• Practicing for the License: Mae’s test is set for December 8, and she muses about needing her own car to truly gain independence.
• Fortune’s Advice: Fortune encourages patience and practice: “You’ll get more comfortable in time, but it just… it does take time, you know? So give yourself some grace, my friend.” ([05:23])
• Banter about Safety and Learning Curves: Fortune lightly dodges Mae’s request for a passenger confidence check: “I want you to practice for a little bit longer.” ([05:00])

2. Sports Fandom in LA ([05:33]–[06:45])

• Baseball and Soccer: Fortune’s Dodgers hat prompts some friendly cross-border ribbing about the World Series and the Blue Jays vs. Dodgers.
• Looking Forward to the World Cup: Both hosts discuss the upcoming soccer World Cup, with Mae rooting for England and Fortune expressing sticker shock at ticket prices. Mae jokes about getting the World Cup to sponsor their podcast ([06:08]).

3. Listener Question: What Would You Ride if Not Cars? ([06:52]–[12:48])

Question from Naomi (South Korea):
“If we lived in a world where instead of cars, we all rode on mounts, and whichever mount you have, no one else could have that mount—which one would you choose? It can be any creature, full size if necessary.” ([06:52])

Hosts’ Deliberation:

• Mae Jumps to Big Cats:
  • “I want fast but safe… and maybe a little sexy. Like a—I'm still—I'm gonna go leopard, you know, like Bagheera in Jungle Book.” ([08:17])
• Fortune Recounts Camel Riding:
  • Stories about riding camels in Dubai, and the physically demanding “forward and back” sway of a camel getting up. “It's not the most comfortable… it whooshes you forward.” ([10:05])
• Comparing Animal ‘Vehicles’:
  • Mae: “If I’m going down the highway on my leopard and then you’re clomping along on your camel—you know, I’m zooming.” ([11:12])
  • Fortune: “I would probably do like a cheetah or something. I want to be fast.” ([11:44])

Naomi’s Answer ([12:06]):

• “I would choose a moose because they’re very strong and fast and they’re also very comfortable, I imagine… And if I ever got into some sort of battle, I think a moose would be really strong and fast.”
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Mae doubts moose comfort but is amused.
  • Mae brings out a classic “Handsome” tangent: “Wasn’t there a guy who had a pet moose that was an alcoholic?” ([13:01])
  • The two recount the story of Tycho Brahe’s drunk moose, which met a sorrowful end (“…became so inebriated on beer at a banquet that it fell down a flight of stairs and died.” [14:14]).

4. Listener Question: Justin Trudeau’s “Legacy” and Katy Perry ([14:59]–[21:28])

Question from Mallory (Tennessee):
“Mae, you told Justin Trudeau that his legacy would be great, and now he is dating Katy Perry. Is that the great legacy you envisioned for him?” ([14:59])

Hosts’ Responses:

• Mae’s Trudeau Encounter:
  • Mae recalls meeting Trudeau and, despite intending to grill him politically, blurting out: “your legacy will be great.” ([15:27])
• On Trudeau's Image:
  • Mae: “He’s so classically good-looking, Trudeau, that… I don’t know.” ([16:57])
  • Fortune: “They're both good looking and they're both Zoolander 2—ridiculously, ridiculously good looking people.” ([16:42])
• Celebrity PR & Paparazzi:
  • Discussion of famous couples (Trudeau/Katy Perry, JLO/Ben Affleck) apparently inviting paparazzi attention.
  • Fortune: “There are some celebrities who 1000% call the paparazzi… those pictures are there because they wanted those pictures to be there.” ([18:50])
• What Paparazzi Shot Would You Stage?
  • Mae: “I wouldn’t mind staging a whole kind of hero situation for myself where I get actors to do a fake… brawling on the street, and I go up—‘hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, come on.’” ([20:34])
  • Fortune: “I would just… actually brush my hair… have a little makeup on... a nice jacket’s hiding the rolls a little bit.” ([21:03])

Mallory’s Follow-up ([21:28]):

• “Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought.” Mallory confirms she foresaw Trudeau’s celeb-dating turn as “legacy-worthy.”

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Memorable Quotes & Comic Beats

• Mae on New Driving Instructor:
  “I have a new guy called Robert, and today I drove out to the hills… He chats, he'll show me stuff on his phone.”—[02:18]
• Fortune’s Camel Ride Tale:
  “You get on it and it whooshes you forward… I almost like chipped a tooth banging into Jack's head.”—[10:37]
• Mae on Mount Choices:
  “I want fast but safe, basically. So I want… oh, and maybe a little sexy, like a… I'm still—I'm gonna go leopard, you know, like Bagheera in Jungle Book.”—[08:17]
• Moose on the Loose:
  “There was a guy who had a pet moose that was an alcoholic. The moose was… refers to the anecdote of Tycho Brahe, a Danish astronomer who kept a pet moose that became so inebriated on beer at a banquet that it fell down a flight of stairs and died.”—[13:45]
• Fortune on Paparazzi:
  “There are some celebrities who 1000% call the paparazzi and those pictures are there because they wanted those pictures to be there.”—[18:50]
• Mae’s Paparazzi Wish:
  “I wouldn’t mind staging a whole kind of hero situation where I get actors to do a fake… brawling on the street, and I go up—‘hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, come on.’”—[20:34]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Driving lesson anxiety/story: [01:39]–[04:47]
• World series / World Cup chat: [05:33]–[06:45]
• “What animal would you ride?” (Naomi Q): [06:52]–[12:48]
• Moose and drunken animal history: [13:01]–[14:39]
• Justin Trudeau’s “legacy” (Mallory Q): [14:59]–[21:28]
• Discussion on fame, legacy, paparazzi staging: [18:41]–[21:23]

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Tone & Style

As ever, the hosts juggle earnestness and absurdity—a little slice of therapy mixed with comic anthropology. Self-deprecating and warm, with tangents that never feel forced and a running rapport that fast-friends will enjoy.

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Final Thoughts

• Driving lessons in Los Angeles are a source of both terror and comedy.
• If cars didn’t exist, Mae is a feline speed fiend; Naomi is all about sturdy moose transport—if you can keep them sober.
• Trudeau’s new romantic legacy? It somehow fits, even if it’s not what anyone meant by “a great legacy.”
• The best celebrity photo ops might just be the ones you stage yourself—or the ones where you finally brush your hair.

Listener questions remain an episodic highlight: unpredictable, prompting thoughtful and entertaining debate, and often spinning off in delightful, weird directions.

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For more on upcoming shows, check the hosts' socials and keep those curious, wild, and oddball questions coming via speakpipe.com/handsomepod!

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois Hey Handsomes. We have a very special live show coming up for the Holidays on Monday, December 22nd. Join in the fun and festivities from anywhere in the world by getting your tickets at the link in our social media bio or@dimensional typewriter.com your ticket will.

[C]

Allow you to stream the show anytime for a full week. It's the perfect gift for you and all the handsome folks in your life.

[A]

It's going to be so fun. So go to dynastytypewriter.com or follow the link in our bio and get your ticket for our December 22nd show today.

[D]

Ho ho ho. Hey Handsomes.

[C]

Just a heads up that for your best chance of getting Handsome merch in time for Christmas, you should order by December 12th. Write it down December 12th.

[B]

So go to handsomepod.com and get your order in by December 12th. That's handsomepod.com.

[A]

Pretty Little Episode welcome to the Handsome Pod. It's a pretty little episode, and I'm a pretty little host called May Martin.

[D]

I'm joined by a pretty little host named Fortune Feimster.

[A]

Hey, bud.

[D]

What's up, bud?

[A]

Not much. Well, my nervous system's fried because I just got out of my third driving lesson. Yeah, as you know, I've had lessons in the past, but this was I have a new guy called Robert, and today I drove out to the hills. I'm driving around and he has a convertible. And I'm in my shades in my convertible.

[D]

Convertible? You're taking driver's lessons in a convertible? That's so insane.

[A]

And then he goes, oh, we're not going to make it back in time for you to podcast. And I was like, oh, but we have to. And he goes, well, I guess we better go on the highway. I've never been on a highway, but I drove on the 405. Yeah, and then the 101.

[D]

Another big one.

[A]

I said, robert, if we're gonna do this, like, you can't distract me. Like, because he. He chats, he'll show me stuff on his phone.

[D]

Like, no.

[A]

And I said, you do on.

[D]

On the freeways?

[A]

Well, like, once you're on, it's easier than. Yeah, but I don't know, when I look over my shoulder before I change lanes, like, the minute my eyes leave the road, the car starts to drift.

[D]

Right, Right.

[A]

Yeah. You ever have that?

[D]

Oh, yeah. I mean, well, the newer cars. I don't know about his convertible, but a lot of cars now have the, like, lights in the mirrors that they light up when. If there's a car to the. To your right. So that's helpful.

[A]

I want all of that. I'm gonna need all that. Yeah.

[D]

I mean, it is, but, you know, the freeways here are stressful. The probably the good thing is that traffic was traffic moving or. No.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I was driving 65 miles an hour.

[D]

Well, there's so much traffic here that rarely are you able to go past, like, you know, 70.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So that makes it a little less stressful. But it la. Would be a stressful place to learn to drive. For sure.

[A]

It was crazy. And then he goes, well, I just got a text. One of my students just passed his test, and he only made one mistake. And then he shows me the picture, and it's a child with braces, like, grinning like, full braces. Like, I did it. Like, I should have done this so long ago.

[D]

When are you going to take. Take the steps to do the actual driving tests of December 8th? Okay. Oh, you got a date also. It's already happened.

[A]

Yeah, but I feel like I shouldn't. Yeah, right. It should have already happened.

[D]

We're filming this a few days before that.

[A]

Yeah, so.

[D]

So people know.

[A]

God.

[D]

So we'll see. May's gonna leave us on the edge of our seats.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, because you're just ready. I mean, it is time for you to have a little more autonomy, having your own car and 100 having to depend on Ubers.

[A]

Oh, it's ridiculous. Yeah. But I think I've got to get a car so I can regularly practice and just going in the store and stuff. Like, if I get the license and don't have a car, I'm still going to stay rusty forever.

[D]

Right, Right. Yeah. At least that way you could just be driving around your neighborhood and stuff. You could, you know, still Uber to some of the bigger things. If you weren't feeling it, would you.

[A]

Feel safe with me and driving?

[D]

I want you to practice for a little bit longer. Okay.

[A]

My friend is cautious.

[D]

My Friend had. I'm at the age where I have friends with teenagers, and some of them are learning to drive, and that is funny to hear about.

[A]

Yeah, I'm gonna be good. I just won't ever be able to have, like, music playing in the car or anyone speaking.

[D]

You'll. You'll get more comfortable in time, but it just. It does take time, you know? So give yourself some grace, my friend.

[A]

Thank you, my friend. How are you?

[D]

Glad you're back in time.

[A]

I see your Dodgers hat.

[D]

Go Dodgers. Sorry. I know they. That. I know they beat your team stings the Blue Jays, but that was an amazing World Series in general.

[A]

It really was. Well, I gotta get. I'm excited for the World cup of soccer. I want to be some games.

[D]

I'm super excited for that, too, that.

[A]

You got a game.

[D]

I don't. I don't. But, like, the. I was looking at tickets. They are crazy expensive.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[A]

We got to find a way. Maybe we can, like. Can they. Can the World cup be a sponsor on Handsome or something so we can be like.

[D]

We don't need you guys.

[A]

Yeah, right? Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I. I want to see some of those games. I'll be rooting for England.

[D]

You were talking about people from all over the world wanting tickets, so that's what is. Makes them so valuable and expensive, is that it's not just like your favorite team here. It's like everyone all over the world wants to go to these things.

[A]

Yeah. Glad I'm gonna have my license for then.

[D]

That's right.

[A]

Driving in LA will be great.

[D]

It sure will.

[A]

Should we hear some questions from our angelic listeners?

[D]

Let's do it.

[E]

Hello, Tigme and Fortune. My name is Naomi, and I'm coming to you from South Korea. And I love you guys so much. I love listening to your podcast every week. I actually had tickets to see Tig right before COVID hit, and it got canceled, and I haven't been back in the States since then. But I'm looking forward to seeing you all in the future. But I wanted to ask you, if we lived in a world where instead of cars, we all rode on mounts, and whichever mount you have, no one else could have that mount. What would you choose? And it can be full size, so if you choose a fish or a turtle, it can be big enough for you to ride on it. Which one would you choose?

[A]

To clarify, this is. Which animal would you mount?

[D]

Yeah, I missed that, too. I was. I just heard. To mount.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. So we're mounting an animal we're mounting something.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

If we didn't have cars and such.

[A]

Okay, well, I mean, I feel like the obvious answer is a large cat, like a cheetah.

[D]

Well, I guess there wasn't. It wasn't specifically. Naomi didn't specifically say animals, but gave animals as an examp.

[E]

Right.

[A]

So it could be people.

[D]

It says, what would you have as a mount if there were no cars?

[A]

I've never really heard the term. And I'm like, kind of delighted.

[D]

Yeah, I haven't heard that either.

[A]

I want fast but safe, basically. So I want. Oh, and maybe a little sexy, like. Like a. I'm still. I'm gonna go leopard, you know, like Bagheera in Jungle Book. And imagine the rippling muscles underneath your. Your bear games.

[D]

Well, it does make me think of the Zootopia 2 movie that we're all in. Having it. I just watched it. So I'm thinking about all those animals from that world.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And one of the boats, the fairies, was a walrus. And so they get on the. The walrus's belly has like a seat on it. And they got on the belly of the walrus and it. And it swam them across the lake.

[A]

Yeah. That's good. I mean. I mean, you'd struggle on land.

[D]

Well, yeah. I don't think I'm going to go with a walrus. But it just made me think how funny having just seen.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Animals being used in that way.

[A]

Walruses are pretty majestic and silly creatures.

[D]

Wait, yours was a what again? Leopard. A leopard. That's good because they're fast.

[A]

Yeah. And sexy and. And they're not going to make any mistakes. And they're a little. They might be a little too autonomous, Like a little too rebellious.

[D]

Right, right. I did ride on a camel once.

[A]

Oh, you did?

[D]

Yeah, when I was in Dubai.

[A]

What was that like?

[D]

It's kind of crazy. It's not the most comfortable. I mean. And you, like, get on it. They're so tall.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And you get on it. Like, you really have to str. Like stretch your legs. Get on it. And then they say like, hold on when it gets up. Like really hold on. And. Oh, wait, really? Because it. It goes forward and then back when it stands up. So you. It's almost like a riding. Like you see the bulls at the bars that people ride. It looks like that. So you. You get on it and it whooshes you forward. So.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I almost like chipped a tooth banging into Jack's head.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

When it went forward. And then it flings you back and.

[A]

Are you like between two bumps?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

And then you're up and it's so tall. And then. And then it's like, you know, a steady walk, but it's not sound. They're giant, they're big. So the. It is not comfortable. But they ride them, you know, like people here ride horses, so.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But if you're. If I'm going down the highway on my leopard and then you're clomping along on your camel, you know, I'm zooming, I'm zooming.

[D]

You're going past me for sure. I don't. The leopard will have to be really strong for me to get on that one.

[A]

They're so strong. Nobody would with you. If you're on a rhino.

[D]

That would be too big, though, in a way.

[A]

The rhino is kind of like. What's that really ugly Tesla? That's like armored. That's kind of. The rhino is the armored Tesla of the animal kingdom.

[D]

I would probably do like a. Like a cheetah or something.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

So in the same world as you, Cougar, I want to. I want to be fast.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I just hope they don't want to eat me.

[A]

No, they know their role in this world. I want to hear Naomi's answer.

[D]

Yeah, let's see what Naomi said.

[E]

I would choose a moose because they're very strong and fast and they're also very comfortable, I imagine, and beautiful. And for day to day transport, they would be great. And also if I ever got into some sort of battle, I think a moose would be really strong and fast. Thank you all so much. I look forward to hearing your answer.

[D]

This feels like apocalyptic. Like the grid is down.

[A]

The grid's down and we've gotta. You're trying to lasso. Yeah. You've got a lot to.

[D]

A moose. Yeah. To be able to ride them. Well, let's hope we that's not the case.

[B]

You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking the weather report before heading up the mountain. You were hoping for a day of skiing, but it really helps to have snow on the ground first.

[A]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. It was a bit of a leap to say that moose are comfortable. I Don't know about that, but who knows? Actually, wasn't there a guy. There was. Oh, this is going to be a really garbled fact, but there was my fact. Yeah. There was a guy who had a pet moose that was an alcoholic. The moose was. And. Okay, yeah, I can't remember the details, but is it ringing a bell? Thomas? Guy with. Guy with a drunk moose.

[D]

I mean, Google it. To be fair, the moose was supplied this alcohol, so, yeah, the guy was an enabler for sure.

[A]

Here we go. I found it. Okay, the. The phrase drunk pet moose, that's what I Googled, refers to the historic. The historical anecdote of Tycho Brah Brahe, a 16th century Danish astronomer who kept a pet moose that became so inebriated on beer at a banquet that it fell down a flight of stairs and died. Oh, this is sad. I'm so sorry. No, that's really dark.

[D]

Oh, man. Poor moose.

[A]

Yeah, that sucks.

[D]

Suddenly the moose is an alcoholic. It just got into a batch of something.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just. Its trough was filled.

[D]

Oh, no.

[A]

All right, well, we're going to treat our.

[D]

Thank you for that tidbit.

[A]

Sorry, it was a different time.

[D]

A different time.

[A]

You had your moose at your banquet.

[D]

That's right.

[A]

I bet even at that time he was eccentric, though. Even. I bet Even in the 1600s they were like, this is probably. Yeah. They're like, don't invite Tycho to the banquet.

[D]

He's going to bring loose cannon.

[A]

Yeah. Should we hear another one?

[C]

Hey, handsome. My name is Mallory. I'm from Knoxville, Tennessee, and here is my question. May. I'm not sure if you remember this or not, but you told Justin Trudeau that his legacy would be great, and now he is dating Katy Perry. Is that the great legacy that you envisioned for him?

[D]

That's hilarious.

[C]

And if not, what did y' all think his legacy would be?

[A]

Oh, man, of course I remember. It was a really impactful moment, if you. If you don't know. I met Trudeau when he was Prime Minister, and I had all. All my friends were like, you got to challenge him on his environmental policies and all this stuff. And. And then something. I was bewitched by his charisma, and I heard myself say, your legacy will be great. And he just looked confused and was like, thanks. I think what I meant was he legalized marijuana in Canada, and he just. At the time that he was elected, he seemed like a really. A breath of fresh air.

[D]

It was hopeful.

[A]

It was like Obama. There was like a. Yeah, it was like A surge of optimism. And then, like, Obama, like, there's only so much you can do in power to live up to all your promises. And he, you know, he made. By the end of his term, basically, or his reign, would you say. People were, like, really disappointed in him, but I don't know.

[D]

But now he's dating Katy Perry, so how do we feel about that?

[A]

We feel. I mean, it makes sense somehow.

[D]

Yeah. They're both good looking.

[A]

They're both good looking and they're both Zoolander 2.

[D]

Very good looking. I can't do the accent. Ridiculously, ridiculously good looking people.

[A]

He's. I was about to. I've never called anyone a himbo. That's.

[D]

Was he a himbo?

[A]

I don't know, but he's sort of. He's like so. Like a Ken doll. He's so classically good looking, Trudeau, that. I don't know.

[D]

I, truth be told, until the Katy Perry stuff, did not know he was divorced. Wasn't he married or.

[A]

Yes, he was.

[D]

He was.

[A]

Sophie Trudeau, who is the star of my favorite YouTube video of all time, which is her on Martin Luther King Day, getting up to make a speech after these deeply moving speeches have been made. And there was a gospel choir. And then she gets up and no one's asked her to do this, and she goes, okay, I'm going to step up. This is not planned. Trust me. I'm going to sing an original song that I have written. And she sings an original tune. You just got to watch the video. And it is. I know it off by heart.

[D]

Is she French Canadian?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

She sounds like Celine Dion, but not in the singing realm, probably. Totally.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Wow. I did not know about that. I will have to look it up.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

When did they get divorced? Was that a recent thing?

[A]

Yeah, I think a couple years ago. Pretty recent.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah. I think they're gonna have a. Have a blast together, those two.

[D]

You're gonna have a blast. They were on a boat recently, and she was in a bikini and he was shirtless and jeans. I mean, everyone's living their best life over there on that boat.

[A]

Whenever I see pictures of a celebrity couple standing on the stern of a yacht and making out and getting photographed, I'm like, they must have known because do you go and stand on the roof of your boat and make it, like, remember JLO and Ben Affleck? They're famous yacht.

[D]

Well, no, I've heard various versions of this.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Not with this particular couple, but there are some celebrities who 1000% call the paparazzi.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And those pictures are there because they wanted those pictures to be there.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Now, who. How did a decipher. Who does that and who does not? I'm not sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

But I do know there are other celebrities that genuinely are just, like, doing their thing, and they're. These camera lenses are crazy. I remember filming in Toronto, actually, with Arnold.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We were on a boat in a harbor just filming, and I looked up and saw, like, pretty far distance. A guy taking pictures of Arnold in particular. And then those pictures were in the Daily Mail, like, two days later.

[A]

Imagine if you saw a walrus with the camera attached to its head.

[D]

Oh. And I know that Arnold doesn't care about that, so he's not calling.

[A]

Of course, if you were gonna call the paparazzi because you wanted a photo to get out, to project a certain image of yourself. Okay, what situation would you like to be? Fake, snapped, and, like, where you go, oh, damn, the paps are here.

[D]

I mean, all I can think about is how many horrendous photos there are of me online. My favorite thing to do back in the day was Google. Like, just my name and me walking. And I have the craziest faces because. Really? Yeah. Like, I walked out of a thing. I didn't know that there was, like, a camera person there. And I'm like, my face is, like, distorted. My belly's, like, hanging out. I have some of the worst photos. And obviously that's not a. A common occurrence. It's just once, and once in a blue moon, there's a camera.

[A]

I wouldn't mind staging a whole kind of hero situation for myself where I get actors to do a fake. They. They start brawling on the street, and I go up, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, come on.

[D]

Oh, that's a good one.

[A]

Because didn't Ryan Gosling have that? There was. He broke up a fight, and there was a photo of it, and it was real.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

I would like that.

[D]

Yeah. I would just. I mean, I would. I would do just the bare minimum of, like. I've actually, like, brushed my hair.

[A]

Oh, right. Okay.

[D]

Have a little makeup on.

[A]

You just want to circulate like that.

[D]

I can take a decent photo. My guts, like, you know, they. They. A nice jacket's hiding the. The. The Rolls a little bit.

[A]

Like, I'll take a nice jacket. All right. Yeah, well, we can arrange that.

[D]

Oh, please.

[A]

Did Mallory send an answer to that question?

[C]

The answer to that question for me is, yeah, that's pretty much what I thought. All right, thanks.

[D]

That. That you did intend for that to be his legacy, dating Katy Perry or.

[A]

That Mallory is saying that's what she expected. Trudeau's legacy to be dating a celebrity.

[D]

I see.

[A]

Yeah. I think that's kind of fair.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, I could see him kind of like living out the rest of his life, like doing speeches and stuff and going to like, galas and dinners and just dating good looking women.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. He'll probably have a podcast.

[D]

Oh, yeah, could.

[A]

He might send us a question and then we'll be sorry forever ridiculing him.

[D]

Well, what a lovely couple of questions. I always enjoy these because I never know what we're going to be asking. Neither of these things are things I have thought about.

[A]

So you never think about what your mount would be.

[D]

I know. Well, now that. Now that this apocalyptic question's been presented, maybe I'll think about it more because there could be other animals that we're just not even considering.

[A]

Oh. I mean, we didn't even touch on polar bear. I'd love to see a little mouse Mount Biggie and. And to. For Biggie to be the. The vehicle for a mouse.

[D]

That would be really cute.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it's December 12th. What do you got going on?

[D]

I'm about to do some holiday shows in Florida in Orlando and St. Petersburg, and then I'm gonna go spend some time with my mom for the holidays and then I'll end the year in Norfolk, Virginia, Seattle, Washington, on New Year's Eve, and then Vancouver. So any Canadians out there who want something to do at the end of the year, come on out.

[A]

Yeah, big time. I think I have a Largo show coming up, but if you check out my Instagram or maymartin.net for stuff, and then I'll probably be trying to chill over the holidays. But keep sending your questions, please, and advice requests or whatever you want to say to us to speakpipe.com handsomepod and I guess in the meantime, keep it.

[D]

Keep it pretty. Handsome Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune.

[B]

Feimster, Tig Notaro, and May Martin.

[D]

The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette.

[B]

Email [e-mail] and follow us on social media.

[D]

Ansomepod. What a podcast.

[A]

What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast. You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking that your plants are watered before heading out of town for the holidays. Nothing's more sad than arriving back home to wilting houseplants.

[B]

Yeah, checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.