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- [00:02]
A
This is a headgun podcast.
- [00:05]
B
Hey, it's Tig Notaro from the Handsome Podcast.
- [00:08]
A
And I'm Mae Martin.
- [00:09]
C
And I'm Fortune Feimster, also from the Handsome Podcast. And we wanted to let you know that we made a very fun special episode of our show sponsored by Squarespace. That's up now on our YouTube page for you to watch.
- [00:22]
A
Handsome finally formed a band and recorded a hit song live in the podcast studio. And we documented the whole process for you to watch. It's by far the most ambitious and inspiring moment on our show to date.
- [00:35]
C
I feel like we can't say much more about it without giving too much away. So just go watch us make complete fools of ourselves and have the best time ever.
- [00:43]
B
Or become the newest pop sensations.
- [00:45]
A
That's right. Go to YouTube.com handsomepod or listen wherever you get your podcasts.
- [00:51]
C
That's YouTube.com handsomepod to hear us record a song live.
- [00:57]
D
See you at the Grammys.
- [00:58]
C
Oh, for sure, buddy.
- [01:00]
A
For sure. Get started on your dream website today. Head to squarespace.com handsome for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code handsome to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
- [01:13]
D
Handsome Chatting with friends on the Handsome.
- [01:18]
A
Pot Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod Pretty Little episode. Hello.
- [01:26]
D
Welcome to the Handsome Pods Pretty little episode. I'm Fortune Feemster.
- [01:30]
A
I'm May Martin.
- [01:32]
D
Hello. Hello, May. I don't know if you want to start off the bat with this, but we also have a special guest today.
- [01:39]
A
Oh, my God. This is huge. It's the Biggie Bear. Biggie boy. Go to YouTube. Look at this angel who's back in your arms.
- [01:51]
D
He's the best. I haven't seen him for a little bit, and we're reunited, and it feels so good.
- [01:58]
A
What was the reunion like?
- [02:00]
D
He was. Since it's been a minute, he. You know, he kind of out of sight, out of mind kind of guy. Not gonna lie.
- [02:13]
A
In his heart. He.
- [02:14]
D
But he was like. He was like that when we would, like, take him to, like, a sitter or something.
- [02:19]
A
Right?
- [02:19]
D
Whoever's feeding him has his heart, you know, And. But as soon as I got home with him, I. He was, like, running around and, like, humping my arm and.
- [02:33]
A
Right.
- [02:34]
D
Yeah. I'm like, he's back, baby back.
- [02:36]
A
And he's horny. Well, I can't. I can't wait to see him. Hopefully soon.
- [02:41]
D
I know he, like, snuggled up to me. Um, he's the best, like, cuddle buddy to sleep with. Yeah, he is. I little. But he just, like, snugs up against you. Real sweet. Yeah.
- [02:55]
A
And I always. People ask me about Biggie a lot, and I always. All the time. And I always say, you know, he's. He's more solid than you'd expect. His little legs, like, he's. You can hug him. He's like. Yeah, he's not a fragile boy.
- [03:08]
D
He's £9, but he's a sturdy boy.
- [03:11]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [03:12]
D
He is getting older, though. He only has four teeth now.
- [03:16]
A
Oh, my God. Well, is it two on top, two on the bottom?
- [03:19]
D
Yeah, his, like, little. The long, pointy ones. Those are the only ones he has.
- [03:24]
A
Oh, man. It'll be bad if it was like three on top, one on the bottom.
- [03:28]
D
It's so weird to look into his mouth because he used to. This has only been in the last, like, year and a half that he's started losing all his teeth. We had to get him some pulled, but. But I guess it's like, common with pomeranians. And he's 11 or 12 now. We're not sure. Yeah, he's older.
- [03:47]
A
It's crazy that we lose our teeth as a kid and then again when.
- [03:51]
D
We'Re old, but he's full of spunk.
- [03:53]
A
Oh, debatable.
- [03:57]
D
He's not dead eyes. You stop.
- [03:58]
A
No, he's not. I've never thought he was. There's always a twinkle. He's like, Like, Like Santa Claus.
- [04:06]
D
He's not dead eyes.
- [04:08]
A
I have my friend Joe visiting from England, and so my. I've put this bed, this sofa that is always in the background. It pulls out into a beautiful bed.
- [04:17]
D
And look at that.
- [04:19]
A
So nice to have my buddy here.
- [04:21]
D
Oh, that's great. So you got a full house. You got your house guest in the back.
- [04:25]
A
Yep.
- [04:26]
D
And I got here and I saw that you have a new car.
- [04:31]
A
I mean, this is huge. This is, you know, on the main pod. I'm sure by now we will have talked about it, but. Yeah, we are currently recording like a week after I got my. My car and I don't even have my license yet. I. And I wasn't able to test drive it because my.
- [04:47]
D
My.
- [04:48]
A
I'd have someone else test drive it because. Oh, yeah, yeah, you need insurance. But I can drive with a. With a licensed California driver in the car.
- [04:56]
D
Oh, okay.
- [04:57]
A
So now I'm. I'm driving every day. I drove today to the reservoir, walked around.
- [05:02]
D
Doesn't it feel more like you have more independence?
- [05:04]
A
It like such a confidence booster. I feel so much happier.
- [05:10]
D
I love it. Because you were like, loading groceries, and I'm like, look at that. That would be such a pain in the ass in an Uber.
- [05:15]
A
It's. I know. And. But I do have to. I. I didn't realize. I, like, narrate as I drive to, like, soothe myself. So I'm. I'm going. Well, I'm approaching a red light, and. And behind me, it's. You know, it's. It's his problem to slow down because I'm focusing ahead, and these rules are in place to keep us safe. Like, I really have to. But I went on. For my lesson today, I went on the highway half an hour there and then half an hour back. So I'm. I'm getting more confident. I can't wait to drive you somewhere.
- [05:45]
D
I love that you're starting the new year. New you, new car, new life. Get.
- [05:52]
A
Get rid of the year of the snake. Bring on the year of the horse.
- [05:56]
D
It's a new year for you, baby. Yeah.
- [05:59]
A
I'm really into the year of the horse.
- [06:01]
D
Yeah. Yeah.
- [06:04]
A
Am I right?
- [06:07]
D
Do we know anything about what that means? Year. The year of the horse.
- [06:10]
A
Yeah, it's like, forward motion, stability, purpose. This year was all about, like, shedding and the darkness and.
- [06:20]
D
Yeah. Yeah.
- [06:21]
A
And I guess big dicks, because horses have big dicks.
- [06:25]
D
Okay, that's.
- [06:27]
A
I'm reading that into it, and I'm gonna.
- [06:29]
D
Well. Oh, my God. Well, new New Year. New year. There's. It's gonna be scandalous onward and upward moments. Yeah.
- [06:41]
A
I can't wait. Yeah. Do you think I should put stickers on my car that say, like, new driver?
- [06:48]
D
I mean, I. Listen, people will have a different opinion of this, and some of our handsome listeners, you know, they might have. They may have our own handsome sticker on their car.
- [06:59]
A
Yeah.
- [07:00]
D
I don't put stickers on my card usually because I'm doing a lease.
- [07:03]
A
Yeah.
- [07:04]
D
I'm doing a lease, and I don't know how tough it is to get stickers off.
- [07:08]
A
That's a really good point. Yeah, that's true. Okay.
- [07:11]
D
Yeah. My mom's old car had stickers all over the back of it, and I was like, really? I don't know about this.
- [07:20]
C
Yeah.
- [07:21]
A
Okay. I'm going to keep it. But it is. It's going to be my little world, my little pod. I can't wait. I'm going to, like. I got to hang something from the mirror.
- [07:29]
D
Well, yeah, you can hang something from the mirror. It might be easier if you put a sticker on the window part. That might come off easier.
- [07:36]
A
That's True. Baby on board or something.
- [07:38]
D
Baby on board. Baby's first car.
- [07:41]
A
Yeah. Or year of the horse.
- [07:45]
D
I think there is a sticker that says something like, new driver. Yeah, be careful or something. Oh.
- [07:52]
A
But in la, that would just. That would, like, incite their rage.
- [07:55]
D
Like, they'd be like, get out of the way.
- [07:58]
A
Yeah. The amount of times I've been honked at, like, when I'm in the drive, the driving school is like learner vehicle that's covered in driving school learner. And yeah, just because I'm not going above the speed limit. People are.
- [08:12]
D
People are very impatient.
- [08:14]
A
They really are.
- [08:15]
D
You're going to be great. I love this for you. I'm very, very happy for this next big step.
- [08:22]
A
Well, I'm. I mean, by. Yeah, by the time this comes out, hopefully I'll have my license. It's. I've really talked it up so much that I have to just say, I'm getting my license. If I fail, I'm going to be really bummed.
- [08:33]
D
But I think you will, because now you have a car in your mode and you see how nice it is to. To be able to do things for yourself in this way. I think it will motivate you.
- [08:42]
A
Yeah, I can drive people around, but one thing I cannot tolerate and will never have is any music in the car. No, I can't have that. No, no, no.
- [08:53]
D
I cannot think of any. Any. I don't want any noise going on.
- [08:56]
A
Pretty much.
- [08:57]
D
Yeah.
- [08:57]
A
I. I need silence.
- [08:59]
D
Well, you're gonna. You're gonna get more comfortable driving. And then your next phase will be getting so comfortable that you can take someone on a date.
- [09:06]
A
Oh, my Lord. And drop them off and have that moment where the car pulls up and you stop and you'. And I go, well, yeah, goodbye.
- [09:17]
D
I remember back in the day, in my early 30s, one of my favorite things to do would be to go on dates and smooch in the car after.
- [09:26]
A
Oh, it's the best. It's the best.
- [09:28]
D
A car smooch is really nice.
- [09:31]
A
I even have that feeling when a friend drops me off somewhere and they. And it's nighttime after dinner and they drop me off and the car stops outside of my house. There's like a pregnant pause and I'm like. Feels like we should kiss.
- [09:43]
D
Like, it's just. Now your friends are like, why haven't you kissed me? If you were thinking about it, why don't you just do it?
- [09:51]
A
I know. Listen, should we hear what our listeners want to know and what they need?
- [09:56]
D
Let's do it.
- [09:57]
A
Let's do it.
- [09:59]
E
Hello, handsome. My name is Mariana. I'm a first time caller forever listener. I'm from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and I will see May when they're here to perform their stand up. May, I think you'll find, as you know, Ottawa is better than Toronto. Recently you guys were talking and Tig said that she walks around without a lid on her coffee. And May said, isn't it super bold and cool when people dare to wander around with their kitchen mug? And I thought, oh God, I have never felt better about myself because May thinks I'm super cool. So my question is, what's something that you think is so cool and bold and confident when other people do it, but you can, you can't pull it off yourself?
- [10:42]
A
Oh, I have a list a mile long. Thank you for that question. And I do stand by that. Anyone who takes their home coffee mug out into the world like in their car or walking around. Very cool.
- [10:53]
D
Yeah.
- [10:54]
A
For me, it's winking. Like a confident, casual wink. Like I, I, I'm, I can't pull it off at all. Can you do it?
- [11:02]
D
Yeah, I mean, kind of.
- [11:05]
A
I mean, you physically can.
- [11:07]
D
I could do it, but you know, my whole face moves with it.
- [11:10]
A
Same. Yeah, but people who are really good at a little twinkly wink that everyone else misses.
- [11:15]
D
You know, I think when I do it without thinking, I can do a proper one. But like when I start thinking about.
- [11:22]
A
It, I'm like, yeah, yeah, that was good, that one. Then also people who like, instead of passing you something, throw, throw it. Like throw keys or like throw you an apple to eat. But because it's cool, because it assumes that you're going to, you're cool enough to catch it and it's just confident. I'm thinking about Aladdin. Really? In, in a lot.
- [11:47]
D
You're not confident enough to throw anything at someone.
- [11:49]
A
I would never presume that they would catch it.
- [11:52]
D
And.
- [11:52]
A
Yeah. No. Or yeah. What about you?
- [11:56]
D
I've seen a lot of women wearing like really baggy jeans and pants lately.
- [12:02]
A
Yeah.
- [12:02]
D
I don't know that I can pull that off.
- [12:05]
A
I think you can, but I know what you mean.
- [12:07]
D
It feels, feels like I'm already bigger built. So like to then add a bunch of extra fabric just seems like too much.
- [12:15]
A
And people, they're so wide. The pants people are wearing now. But that is cool. Like, you'll see, Paul, it looks cool.
- [12:21]
D
On a lot of people. Yeah, but I don't think I can pull it all.
- [12:25]
A
I think you could like wide jeans and then a tighter Tee.
- [12:29]
D
Tighter tee. I can't rock a tighter tee. That's where I want. The loose extra fabric is in the tee.
- [12:36]
A
Okay, then. Then. Yeah. A structured pant.
- [12:38]
D
Yeah, I like a structured pant. And also with my gams. Why am I gonna not.
- [12:42]
A
Yeah.
- [12:43]
D
You know, highlight those? Come on.
- [12:44]
A
Exactly. Yeah.
- [12:46]
D
Trying to think if there's anything else that's. I'm sure there's a lot of things where I'm like, oh, that's so cool. But I could never do it.
- [12:53]
A
You know what I could never do? But I don't think it's cool. Vaping. I just can't. I know that because I. I still smoke occasionally and I know I shouldn't, and everyone's like, why don't you try vaping? I just can't. I can't do it. It's too in the big cloud now.
- [13:09]
D
Is it as addictive? I don't really know the science behind all of it. Is it as addictive as smoking?
- [13:14]
A
Plus got nicotine in it. Yeah.
- [13:16]
D
Right.
- [13:16]
A
I think it just is meant to not have like the tar and stuff and it doesn't smell bad after, but we're gonna find out that it's evil. Yeah.
- [13:25]
D
I have no desire to vape, but I don't have any desire to smoke either.
- [13:29]
A
No, but you often, like, will mime. Will mime a cigarette.
- [13:32]
D
I like to pretend that I'm an old fashioned broad.
- [13:36]
A
Yeah.
- [13:36]
D
The Broadway in New York City.
- [13:39]
A
Yeah.
- [13:39]
D
Smoking a cigarette.
- [13:41]
A
Timothy, did you get the alterations done?
- [13:45]
D
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee.
- [13:47]
A
Yeah.
- [13:48]
D
You know, that kind of thing. Yes, I do love that.
- [13:51]
A
It suits you.
- [13:55]
B
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you've got the right supplies when you're trying to paint a landscape, on the other hand, is quite regretful. You wanted to capture a beautiful seascape, but you forgot the blue paint at home.
- [14:13]
C
Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote. That could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
- [14:29]
A
But that was a good question.
- [14:31]
D
Yeah, that was a good thing.
- [14:32]
A
Mariana, I'll see you.
- [14:33]
D
That was a good thing.
- [14:34]
A
That was a good thing. I'll see you in Ottawa, Mariana. Let's hear Mariana's answer.
- [14:40]
E
Well, my answer is, for me, it's jumpsuits. A one piece outfit. Some kind of onesie that's super classy or super professional on a good day. I'm like 5 foot tall and I really can't pull those off. I feel just absolutely ridiculous. But I think women in particular or non binary folks wear something like that are just the coolest.
- [15:04]
A
I agree. I think it's. I think I could get into overalls, I think in a kind of like farm boy. Fetch me that picture and then I could be like the farm boy.
- [15:14]
D
Yeah, yeah, I could see that.
- [15:17]
A
But it is a one piece is very cool.
- [15:20]
D
Yeah, for sure. I cannot pull that off.
- [15:22]
A
Should we hear one more?
- [15:24]
D
Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. What's that?
- [15:27]
F
Hi, handsome pod. This is Kate from Connecticut. And my question is, do you prefer the summer or Winter Olympics? Seeing as the Winter Olympics are coming up soon and further, is there an Olympic sport that you could see each other really excelling at?
- [15:41]
A
Great question.
- [15:42]
D
I love the Olympics. I love. I am more of a summer gal though. I get very excited about it. I watch the opening ceremony. I'm super into it. I feel very into like rooting the teams on Winter Olympics. I, I do. I will watch some of them because I want to support the. The. These athletes, they work so hard to get to this point. But I'm not a winter sport gal. Yeah, I'm more of the summer. I love the like. I love to watch gymnastics. I love to watch swimming, which is weird because I don't watch any of this any other time. Yeah, I'll watch track and field. I'll watch soccer, tennis. I love it. There's so many good things.
- [16:31]
A
Yeah, I agree. I'm. I'm a summer guy, but I don't really watch it. But I do. I love the opening ceremonies. Like the. The one in England where the Queen met James Bond. That was great. And I. Yeah. And I like to. I like like kayaking and things. Things that Canada is good at. I like. And then winter sports. I don't know. I get so those sk. Doing the flips. It's so insane. Yeah. I don't know.
- [16:58]
D
I imagine your. Your country of Canada does very well in the winter sports. That's like where they shine, right?
- [17:07]
A
Do we, Thomas? Yeah. Canada is always in the top like three or so countries in the Winter Olympics.
- [17:13]
D
Yeah. A wintry. Have a big winters.
- [17:18]
A
Big winters. I should get into it then because it's. I mean I'm still recovering from the. The World Series and I'd like to see Canada win something. So. Maybe some skiing. Yeah, I think you would be very good fortune at Olympic. Olympic. Is there some I'm trying to think about your games and is there something like, you know how dressage with horses where they kind of trot and prance and if you were just trotting and prancing with your.
- [17:47]
D
I could trot and prance. I was thinking I would be a ballroom dancer with short hurts. Is that in the Olympics?
- [17:54]
A
Gotta be.
- [17:55]
D
Probably not.
- [17:56]
A
Yeah. I love watching figure skating, though.
- [17:59]
D
I will say, figure skating's fun.
- [18:01]
A
Oh, my God.
- [18:02]
D
I like. I like a floor routine in gymnastics with the. With the ribbons. Yes. I like to do that.
- [18:08]
A
Yeah.
- [18:09]
D
I could see you, Curling.
- [18:11]
A
Thank you.
- [18:12]
D
You're welcome.
- [18:12]
A
I'll take it. I. If there was like, an Olympic sport for, like, apologizing for not being able to come to something, that would be you. That would be me. Yeah.
- [18:24]
C
Yeah.
- [18:25]
A
Curling. I would like. Or. Yeah. I. There's a documentary that my friend made a documentary comedy series called I have Nothing that's in Canada. It's on Crave and it's on Peacock everywhere else. And it's about her trying to choreograph an Olympic level pairs figure skating routine. But she's never skated or danced. And it's her crazy dream. And I'm in it. And it's. I really recommend it if you like winter sports.
- [18:53]
D
Yeah. LA is going to be hosting the Olympics.
- [18:57]
A
I know.
- [18:58]
D
And was it 27? 20, 28. 28. But, you know, every city that hosts it freaks out because they're never ready for it. No.
- [19:06]
A
There's no public transport in this city.
- [19:08]
D
Yeah. And then every. And then everyone shits on that city during the Olympics. Like, they really did like to pay. Well, we just had Paris and everyone was like, oh, he's. The housing's awful. The food's so bad.
- [19:22]
A
I know. And I just learned to drive and I'm gonna be on the roads during the Olympics here.
- [19:28]
D
They got a lot of work to do to get ready. They're still. I mean, they've been doing things, trying to, like, get things prepared already, but I feel like they're behind.
- [19:39]
A
We got a lot of work to do to get ready for those Olympics. We got to start training in our tap dancing, prancing and curling.
- [19:47]
D
We have to get ready for the Oscars. And the Olympics surely will be featured.
- [19:52]
A
In the opening ceremony. I'll be shocked.
- [19:56]
D
We'll run through the city with the. The torch. The Olympic torch. Right.
- [20:02]
A
God, how good would that be? Or like, descend on wires into the stadium.
- [20:06]
D
I mean, I will say that they have to do some sort of, like, Hollywood stunt person type. Yeah.
- [20:14]
A
Oh, it'll be Tom Cruise.
- [20:15]
D
It's got to be electric, you know?
- [20:17]
A
Yeah. We need pyrotechnics. We need Katy Perry. We need all of it.
- [20:21]
D
We need Katy Perry. We definitely must have Katie.
- [20:26]
A
Actually, I think I take that back, actually.
- [20:29]
D
Justin Trudeau. Maybe they'll still be together by then.
- [20:34]
A
Yeah. Who knows? I'm rude.
- [20:36]
D
And. And he'll be holding a sign that says, your legacy will be great.
- [20:40]
A
Yeah. And she'll wink at him confidently and throw him an apple.
- [20:45]
D
Well, I think it's. I think it's fun. I. I love all these. I love all these athletes from all over the world who've trained their booties off, and this is their time to shine. I'm like, get your money, get your campaigns, get your sponsorships. This is your time, baby. You worked hard. This is your moment.
- [21:04]
A
I like seeing the human body pushed to its limits.
- [21:09]
D
Yeah. And I know when I'm watching it, I can't do what they're doing.
- [21:12]
A
Yeah, same.
- [21:13]
D
Unless it would be like. What is it called with the bow and arrow? Why can't I think archery? I would love archery.
- [21:22]
A
Really? You think you'd be good?
- [21:24]
D
I think. Didn't Gina Davis. Yeah. Become an archerist? Is that the word? Yeah. I think I could do decent, but it would take a lot of practice.
- [21:38]
A
You know, it's crazy. We watched the Olympics and we're like, God, I respect. I could never do that. Comedy is so different. After every show, someone's going, you should have done this. Someone in the audience or an Uber driver saying, yeah, you should talk about this. I feel like everyone thinks I'll do it.
- [21:54]
D
Right.
- [21:55]
A
That sounds bitter.
- [21:59]
D
Well, that's. Let's hear Kate's answer.
- [22:02]
F
My answer is, I prefer the Winter Olympics slightly because I love snow and the skiing and figure skating and all that is so impressive. And I really think Fortune and Tig would be pretty good at water polo, considering all the treading you've been doing. And May might have an innate Canadian ability to excel at ice hockey or curling. Anyway, I'm really excited. This spring, I'm going to see May on tour. It'll be my first ever comedy show. Tig, your Connecticut show was sold out. I shouldn't be surprised. And Fortune just saw Zootopia, too. You crushed it. It love the pod. Keep it handsome.
- [22:36]
A
Thank you, Kate.
- [22:38]
D
Keep it handsome, Kate. Well, it's always a treat to chat with you, my friend, and to hear from our lovely listeners.
- [22:46]
A
Yeah, I love that both those people said they were coming to my tour show. That's so amazing.
- [22:52]
D
I know. Are you excited for it? You getting pumped for this tour?
- [22:55]
A
I am and I'm writing feverishly. Yeah, I am getting pumped. I really like when people online tag us and that they've bought a ticket to all three of our shows. That's so nice. And they're, they're doing it like I checked off the trifecta, like we're Pokemon. They're collecting and I really like that.
- [23:14]
D
Well, it is nice that the people support us so much. Yeah.
- [23:19]
A
What, what do you got coming up?
- [23:21]
D
I'm just doing some stand up right now. I got, I'm in Atlanta tonight doing a show there and then coming up have Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, a bunch of shows. Fayetteville, Arkansas, Little Rock, San Diego, Oklahoma City. What about you?
- [23:40]
A
I'm just gearing up for my tour which starts end of February. So check out maymartin.net and I'm going to 35 cities in North America and that's my main vibe right now. So check that out.
- [23:53]
D
I love it and I guess awesome.
- [23:55]
A
Other than that, all that remains is.
- [23:59]
D
To keep it pretty handsome.
- [24:02]
A
Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handomepodmail.com and please follow us on social media. ANSOMEPOD what a podcast. What a podcast.
- [24:25]
F
That was a headgum podcast.
- [24:27]
C
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you read that article your mom emailed you before calling her on the phone. Ill advised. No, mom, I didn't read that very long article you sent me, but I promise I'll check it out as soon as we're done chatting.
- [24:44]
B
Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.