A (2:05)

Yeah.

C (2:05)

I don't know.

A (2:07)

So we're do. We're do a karaoke set.

C (2:09)

We are due.

A (2:10)

We're due, dude.

C (2:11)

We're due. We're good at karaoke because we have passion.

A (2:15)

Yeah. Yeah. I sometimes get weirdly shy about it, but then that wears off pretty quick.

C (2:22)

Yeah. Yeah. You ever go to those. The karaoke rooms where you rent out a whole room?

A (2:27)

That's my favorite. That's my absolute favorite. Yeah. You get, like, 10 people, and it's so. It's just like being in control of your playlist and all nostalgia, but it's

C (2:37)

always one friend that won't give up the mic. Yeah. Yeah. And you're. And you're like, okay. All right.

A (2:44)

It's never the one that can sing the best, too. It's just the loudest. It's the loudest one.

C (2:49)

It's. Yeah. It's the one that has too much passion.

A (2:53)

Yeah.

C (2:54)

And you're like, okay, how about we. How about we pass the mic down?

A (3:00)

I just got back from the chiropractor. How does that go? That was a bit of a left turn there.

C (3:08)

Sorry. No, turn away.

A (3:11)

It was cool. I got to drive on the highway to get there. Still exciting me. And then I still, like, can't stop talking about it. So I arrived at. And I was like, guys, I just drove on the highway to get here. And they were like, okay.

C (3:23)

They're like, cool, Cool.

A (3:25)

And then. But they did an X ray of my spine, which I've seen them do that on Instagram, and I've always wanted that.

C (3:32)

Yeah.

A (3:33)

And it was very, like, validating because I was like, I swear something's up with my spine, you know? And it turns out I do have a very slight scoliosis and a very slight. I mean, it's probably nothing. But then he did some cracking, and, yeah, it was cool to see my spine. We got skeletons in us, dude.

C (3:52)

Yeah, we do. We do. These bones are important. We need them to crazy work properly and stay intact.

A (3:59)

Yeah. And it's so weird how we're like, I'm me with my personality, but then you see your skeleton. You're like, we're all just this. Like, you. Yeah, we're all just these weird bones.

C (4:11)

Now, when they told you you had these things, is. Is it. Is it a problem at all? Like, are you sore or having troubles with the. With this?

A (4:23)

Like, when I lie on my back, my right foot just goes, like. Goes out. It's hard to explain, but. And I feel like this is so boring, but I feel like it. It's like a twingy, tingling feeling in my sacrum, and I'm like, this is gonna go at some point. I'm gonna, like, five years from now, bend over, and I'll be. So I'm trying to preemptively.

C (4:46)

You're trying to. Yeah. You're trying to course correct a little bit.

A (4:50)

Yeah. Yeah. But I did have to take off my shirt to.

C (4:53)

Yeah, you did.

A (4:55)

Yeah.

C (4:55)

Hell, yeah. And

A (4:58)

it's always like, he. He wasn't sure how to handle it because, like, it's so weird that, like, if, like, he had a gown, but he was like, or you could just take your shirt off. And I was like, yeah, I'll take my shirt off. I've been working out.

C (5:10)

I. Like, I've been working out. I'd like to show you my muscles. Yeah.

A (5:15)

But I could tell he kind of felt like I was just sitting there with my tits out. It was. Yeah. You know what I mean?

C (5:21)

Like me in my hot tub.

A (5:23)

Like you in your tits out tub. Have you been in your hot tub?

C (5:27)

No, but I did finally get back to treading water today. It has been. I was on a long hiatus from it because I have been so busy.

A (5:36)

Yeah.

C (5:37)

And I was like, I gotta get my body moving again, because here we go. Talking about aches and pains. My hips been hurting. Yeah. So old today. So I was like, okay, I gotta get my body moving again. But not back in the hot tub, because, you know, it's tit out hot tub. And I just wanted to stay nice and warm. Yeah. But people have been coming up to me going, how's that tits out tub?

A (6:07)

I mean, you should be doing ads for that company.

C (6:09)

I know. Well, I just want it to be a. A wee bit deeper so that I can be. Have some coverage, you know? Yeah.

A (6:17)

Yeah.

C (6:17)

I'm gonna be cold in my hot tub.

A (6:19)

How was treading water? Do you feel like you're out of practice or you're right back to it?

C (6:23)

I like it when I have a distraction because then I. That's what I used to love about playing sports is I had a. My eye on. On the prize, so I would forget that I was like, running or. Or tired. I like it also with treading water. So my mom called and she and I ended up talking for over an hour. And I just put my phone on the side on speaker. And so the whole time I talked to her, I treaded water. And it made me, like, be able to do it for an hour without really realizing it.

A (6:59)

That's so good.

C (7:00)

So it was a good way to get back in it.

A (7:02)

Like, you know, whenever they're like, training Taylor Swift or whatever to go on tour, they make them like, sing while they're on the treadmill. Like, do their whole show on the treadmill. It's kind of like that you're having to talk while you're. Yeah.

C (7:14)

Oh, I can't imagine singing three and a half hours worth of songs. That's.

A (7:17)

I know a lot. It's heaven and hell.

C (7:20)

It's heaven and hell. But my mom loved it because I ended up. I think I ended up talking to her for like an hour 20. I. I would take little breaks here and there from the treading. So I'm gonna say I treaded for like an hour.

A (7:34)

Yeah.

C (7:36)

But, yeah, that she was. And she loved it because I'm not a big phone talker sometimes, especially if I've Been on the road and she got a whole mouthful today, so. Yeah.

A (7:49)

You were settled in lucky.

C (7:50)

Both of us.

A (7:51)

Captive audience.

C (7:52)

That's right.

A (7:54)

Yeah. Nice.

C (7:54)

Well, should we hear some questions from our lovely handsome listeners?

A (8:02)

Keep smiling. Yeah. It's gonna be in my head all night.

C (8:09)

It's a good song.

A (8:11)

Yeah. Let's hear. Let's hear what everyone wants to know.

C (8:14)

Let's do it.

D (8:15)

Hi, handsome. This is Jasmine from Hamilton, Ohio. I think May would really appreciate this question, but I just wanted to ask you guys, what is your favorite fact that you know or the. The most crazy fact that you know?

C (8:32)

That is a good question for you. I'm trying to think if I even know any fact.

A (8:37)

You know a fact.

C (8:40)

Do I know a fact? Do you have a favorite fact, a favorite Maeve act?

A (8:47)

I do have several off the top of my head. Okay. One of the things at the moment that I'm into is. Okay, go with me. Okay.

C (8:58)

I'm on this journey.

A (9:00)

So when you die, you can get your ashes made into a thing called a life gem, where they make your ashes into a diamond.

C (9:08)

I have heard that, yes.

A (9:10)

Or you can get it made into 250pencils that you can distribute to people to draw with or whatever they desire. So I was then Googling, like, how long of a straight line could you draw with one pencil before it runs out to a little stub? Like, how satisfying would that be? But it's like 30 miles, so. Or 32 miles or something. And then I was thinking about how far is outer space from Earth? And it's only like 60 miles straight up, which is crazy that you could. You could drive there less than an hour if you, you know, on a. Not even a full tank of gas. And then I was thinking, okay, that's two full pencils. And then that's about as far as I got. But basically, I'm interested. I'm interested in the life jam, the pencils, and that the guy who invented the Pringles tube has his ashes buried in a Pringles tube.

C (10:04)

I'm all that, yeah.

A (10:05)

Yeah. And then I'm still stuck on Frau Trofea and her dancing play.

C (10:10)

Yeah, of course that's important.

A (10:13)

And the Dyatlov Pass mystery is if you're looking for someone to Google and go down a rabbit hole, the Dial Dyatlov Pass, where like nine hikers in Russia went up into the mountains. They were found. One of them, their tongue was missing. One of them, their eyes were missing. They'd swapped clothes.

C (10:33)

They.

A (10:33)

They were radioactive there are radioactive?

C (10:37)

Yeah.

A (10:37)

They had radioactivity on their clothes. So many weird details about it, and it's never really been solved, like, uhhuh. So you can do a deep dive on that.

C (10:46)

Okay.

A (10:46)

Yeah.

C (10:47)

Wow. I've never heard about that.

A (10:51)

How about you?

C (10:53)

I just kept thinking, did you know that the human head weighs eight pounds?

A (10:57)

That's my vibe, let's be honest.

C (11:00)

Is it eight pounds or. I can't remember.

A (11:02)

You know, it's a huge human w. Yeah. Jonathan lit Nikki. Remember him in Jerry Maguire, right? That little kid.

C (11:09)

Yep. Gosh. Are there any facts.

A (11:13)

Do you know any facts about cooters or that they're.

C (11:16)

That they're turtles? Turtles are called cooters.

A (11:20)

Oh, that's crazy. Okay. Is that where that comes from?

C (11:24)

I'm trying to think if you got a snapping cooter. Somebody gave me coasters this weekend at one of my shows, and it has a turtle on it, and she called them cooter coasters. Yeah, perfect. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking what you're unplugging when you're finding a spot on the extension cord for your phone charger. Oh, my phone is now charged, but my laptop's at zero percent.

B (12:07)

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote. That could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

A (12:25)

This is what I'm saying about. We do the podcast and then we go out and do live shows. And people are getting us really on point gifts, like they know our niche interest.

C (12:35)

That's right. They're very invested in which go Golden Girls. We are.

A (12:40)

I've been having a lot of people reaching out about this, and they were

C (12:43)

very shocked that you and Tig had never watched the Golden Girls. And I said, listen, welcome to my world. Two against one or. Yeah, two against one. But me being the only one that has any sense knowing that the Golden Girls exist and have watched it and you guys have not.

A (12:59)

Yeah, yeah, it's very two against one.

C (13:02)

Fact is that those women were like in their 50s when they filmed that.

A (13:08)

Right. They were young.

C (13:10)

They look like they were 70 and they were like 50 years old.

A (13:15)

One fact is that wombats have cubed shaped poo.

C (13:18)

Cube.

A (13:19)

Yeah, they poo in cube form. And it took a really long time for scientists to figure out why. And it's like a really specific sphincter muscle thing. But, yeah, you could like pile you could use. You could pile up their poo and make a castle if you want. If you were so inclined.

C (13:37)

I think I need to learn more facts because same. Actually. Nothing's coming to me.

A (13:43)

No cooter. That one counts.

C (13:45)

Thank you. The cooter turtle fact is great.

A (13:49)

Yeah.

C (13:50)

But I wonder if only certain kind of turtles are cooters.

A (13:54)

Right?

C (13:55)

I'm googling. What is a cooter?

A (13:58)

No fortune. You're gonna see some stuff.

C (14:02)

It says it's a North American river turtle with a dull brown shell and typically has yellow stripes on the head.

A (14:10)

That doesn't sound like what we know, but this.

C (14:13)

But then right underneath it says, what is a cooter slang. And it says a turtle. Women's genitalia or vehicle.

A (14:25)

Vehicle.

C (14:26)

This says cooter is a vagina. Typically a lower class one.

A (14:31)

What? A lower class vagina. Oh, my God. What's a high class vagina? Like a. Like a pearl.

C (14:40)

A vagene.

A (14:41)

A V. That's so funny.

C (14:44)

There you go.

A (14:44)

Should we hear Jasmine?

C (14:46)

Yeah. Does Jasmine have anything?

A (14:47)

I think we might get hit with a good fact right now.

D (14:51)

Mine would be that when the Romans discovered the pyramids, the pyramids were as ancient to the Romans as the Romans are to us. Now, I think that that is absolutely insane. Just how old, just how ancient those pyramids are, it's. It's literally mind blowing. But, yeah, that's it. Love you guys. Bye.

A (15:15)

Jasmine, you are barking up the right tree here because did you know also that Cleopatra lived closer to the invention of the iPhone than she did to the building of the pyramids? Like, even for Cleopatra, the pyramids were just like a crazy ancient tourist attraction.

C (15:33)

Yeah. Wow. Did you know that Julius Caesar was murdered by Brutus? Brutus. Yeah. That's two.

A (15:44)

Nice. Yeah. And. And Cleopatra.

C (15:47)

The Ides of March.

A (15:49)

The Ides of March. I mean, that is when he was

C (15:52)

murdered at the Capitol.

A (15:53)

Yeah. And. And Cleopatra was killed by a snake. An asp, I think. But maybe it was suicide. Like, she put her hand into a basket with the. We got to look these things up.

C (16:03)

I don't know. I'm pretty sure mine's true.

A (16:07)

Yours is true. Yeah. And when I'm on tour, if anyone wants to bring me some facts or your favorite facts. Please, please. I'm open.

C (16:15)

There you go. I loves it. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Jasmine. Et tu, Brute? Is that what he says?

A (16:21)

Yeah, like nu. Even you. It's very, like, Judas, like.

D (16:29)

Hey, handsomes, this is Sarah from Bainbridge Island, Washington. And my question for you today. Is when you go to the movie theaters, what's your concession order? Or if you're the type to bring a snack from home, what are you bringing?

A (16:40)

Oh, can't believe we've never talked about this.

C (16:44)

I know. That's so funny, because I was just talking about this with somebody about they were going to the movies, and I was like, I love the snacks at the movies.

A (16:54)

Yeah.

C (16:54)

Because I don't eat a lot of popcorn outside of the movies, but when I go to the movies, I have to have popcorn.

A (17:01)

Yeah. Got to. And in England, they don't. They don't pop it fresh. In England, they're delivering bags of stale popcorn and dumping it into the popcorn dump popping machine. And it's not the same. Like, the movie theaters don't even smell like popcorn.

C (17:17)

Really. No, we can't have that.

A (17:19)

You got to pop it fresh.

C (17:21)

We need a fresh popped popcorn. I love. I. Popcorn, for me, is a must.

A (17:27)

Yeah.

C (17:27)

And I do. You know, I know it's bad for you, but I do like it with that hot butter. And when they let you do the butter yourself. Oh, my God, look at. What a treat. And you need a lot of napkins, especially if I'm with my mom.

A (17:42)

Yeah.

C (17:42)

I. With popcorn. Weirdly enough, I love a Sprite.

A (17:46)

Oh, yeah. Okay.

C (17:47)

I think Sprite and popcorn taste so good together.

A (17:50)

Yeah.

C (17:51)

And I'm not. I'm not a big soda person in general, but if I'm getting popcorn, a Sprite has to come with it. Now, occasionally, I will get some either peanut M and Ms. Or Reese's Pieces, and if I'll buy them at the movie. But occasionally I'll have one at home and I'll just stick it in my pocket and bring it with me.

A (18:13)

Oh, have one at home. Like a bat.

C (18:16)

Like a bag.

A (18:17)

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're pretty aligned, dude. I was ready to be. Like, when people are really focused on sour candy and stuff, I'm like, no,

C (18:27)

not at the movies. No.

A (18:29)

We want substantial. Like, I think if I'm alone or with a friend, I'm super comfortable with. I'm. If I'm being honest. And I should just eat what I want all the time, no matter who I'm with. But I'm neurotic. So you're in a world and you

C (18:42)

can do what you want.

A (18:43)

I know, but why don't I feel that? But if I'm. And you're.

C (18:46)

And you're. And you're really a fit. So if you splurge at a movie theater, who cares?

A (18:52)

It's more like the, the greasy. Like if I'm on a date.

C (18:55)

Cuz I.

A (18:56)

Because I'm like you. Like if I. I'm getting popcorn, I'm getting butter and I'm even layering the butter like.

C (19:01)

Oh yeah. Like getting the middle part somehow.

A (19:04)

Yeah. And. And then I'm feeling real sick after and I get. Yeah, it's like you can't really digest popcorn that well. And I found out that a lot of the butter has coconut oil in it.

C (19:16)

And so really, that's for you.

A (19:19)

I've been eating it.

C (19:20)

You ask them ahead. Do you ask at the movies?

A (19:23)

Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes I. Yeah, I have chanced it. But I always thought maybe I'm allergic to popcorn. But it's got to be a coconut.

C (19:32)

Some people, especially in North Carolina, are so crazy about their popcorn to butter ratio. I have seen people say, well you just fill up it to the halfway right now. Let me go get my butter and I'll be back. If they do it in the layers that way, theater people are like, yeah, sure, I like that. Get your better. So I've never done that. But props to those people.

A (19:57)

I like chocolate covered raisins and chocolate Eminem peanut mms. Like we're really, we're really aligned here. Fortune. I want us to just make sure we're acknowledging that.

C (20:08)

We are acknowledging that. I think the best combo of flavors is a sweet and salty situation. So that's why I go, popcorn and some type of chocolate.

A (20:20)

Yeah, I agree. But not candy.

C (20:23)

No. Yeah. I don't want sour candy with popcorn. I don't think they go well together.

A (20:28)

Yeah.

C (20:29)

And then if the theater, if it's also dinner time, I'll sometimes get some nachos.

A (20:36)

Me too. Me too. I love a nacho. If.

C (20:39)

Nacho sage with some cheese and jalapenos.

A (20:43)

I get really stressed though. If I arrive and, and the movie's starting and the trailers are starting, there's a big long line for the concessions. That's the worst feeling. Then usually I'll run into the movie first, drop my stuff, see if we're still in like ads before trailers, and then I'll go out. But I don't want to miss a trailer. So sometimes I'll wait till like the movie started and then I'll go, oh,

C (21:03)

you're into the trailers.

A (21:05)

Yeah, I gotta see every single.

C (21:06)

Into the trailers. I'm annoyed that like it says the movie starts at 7, but it's really starting at 7. 25.

A (21:13)

Yeah.

C (21:14)

Sometimes 7:30.

A (21:15)

I want the whole experience, but I

C (21:17)

think that's too much. Too many trailers.

A (21:19)

But if it was just the trailers, that's one thing. It's the ads that. That.

C (21:23)

Fuck you.

A (21:23)

Yeah.

C (21:24)

I want movie theaters to survive because I do think having a communal experience in film is important.

A (21:33)

Yeah.

C (21:34)

But, you know, I think the movies are a little expensive and the concessions are insanely expensive.

A (21:44)

Yeah.

C (21:44)

I mean, I think if they were to tamp those down a little bit, you might be seeing people come back to movies more.

A (21:52)

What I don't like is some of those VIP movie theaters where you can order like pad Thai or. Or stuff because it smells up the whole venue and everybody.

C (22:02)

You could do that. Yeah.

A (22:03)

There's some VIP ones where you can get like a full meal, glass of wine. I'm like, let's keep this whole meal.

C (22:09)

Wow.

A (22:10)

Yeah. Yeah.

C (22:10)

I've heard of, like, ones that have, like, alcohol, but I don't think I've heard of full meal ones. And then, you know, now a lot of the seats, they have, like, recline, recliner seats. That's pretty nice.

A (22:22)

Yeah, that's nice. I'd like to go to a drive in movie. I've never been.

C (22:26)

Oh, you haven't? No.

A (22:28)

Maybe that would be romantic.

C (22:30)

Is one of my favorite things to do. I haven't been in a long time, but my hometown actually has a drive in movie theater and I always forget about it. But it's such a treat to. Especially in the summer. I love it.

A (22:45)

I got my car now, so I

C (22:47)

know you could back your car up and then open. You could lay in the back, but you had have to do your thing where it doesn't block anybody or hatch, whatever. Oh, trunk hatch, whatever.

A (23:00)

Yeah.

C (23:01)

You can make it kind of stop lower than.

A (23:03)

Okay.

C (23:04)

Then the full way it goes up.

D (23:05)

You know what I mean?

A (23:06)

And then what, sitting your trunk?

C (23:08)

Yeah, sitting your trunk. Put some pillows back there. Whoa. A blanket.

A (23:12)

A little blankie.

C (23:13)

Yeah. Have a. Like, people take their trucks. If you have a truck, a lot of people will put the bed of. Will lay in the bed of their truck.

A (23:20)

Yeah, that sounds nice.

C (23:21)

Back your truck up.

A (23:23)

Back your truck up.

C (23:24)

Back your truck up. Movie driving, movie theater. Very fun.

A (23:29)

Yeah, yeah. Very good.

C (23:31)

I wish that for you in your

A (23:32)

near future, I want to hear what Sarah is eating at the movie theater.

C (23:36)

Okay.

D (23:37)

For me, I like a salty sweet combo. So I'm going to be doing a bunch of crunch a popcorn with no butter because I don't want to have to deal with buttery fingers during a movie. And if there's one of those freestyle machines, I'm going to be doing an aha with lime. I hope y' all are having an amazing day.

C (23:52)

What's an aha?

A (23:54)

An Aha with lime.

C (23:56)

Whoa. What is that? Do you know?

A (23:59)

It sounds fancy. Sparkling water.

C (24:02)

Oh.

A (24:02)

Aha with lime.

C (24:04)

Whoa.

A (24:04)

And what was she saying about crunchy clusters or something?

C (24:07)

Is that the bunch of Crunch?

A (24:09)

Bunch of Crunch?

C (24:10)

Yeah, with the. The Nestle, whatever that is.

A (24:13)

Okay.

C (24:13)

Yeah, some people really like the icy's too. You can get an icy at the movie theater sometimes. That's tasty. But I'm still always going Sprite and popcorn.

A (24:23)

I want to go tonight.

C (24:24)

Oh, yeah, you could.

A (24:25)

Shall we?

C (24:29)

I'm exhausted. But I would go to the movies with you sometime.

A (24:33)

Yeah, that'd be fun. No, if I'm getting you hanging out with me, I. We're not going to sit silently in a movie. We're yakking it up. I'm going to make the most of that.

C (24:42)

We're doing karaoke like we said. Yeah, we'll have to rent one of those rooms sometimes.

A (24:47)

That would be really fun.

C (24:50)

Once this movie's done, I will have a life again.

A (24:53)

Yeah, no, you're. But you're living your dream.

C (24:56)

You got to do a dream dream.

A (25:04)

Well, thank you everyone for your questions.

C (25:06)

Yeah, we appreciate it.

A (25:08)

Check out maymartin.net for my tour deets and come see me on tour. Tell me some facts.

C (25:14)

That's right. You can submit your questions and advice requests to speakpipe.com handsomepod if you want to get in on this. It's real fun to do. Yeah, I'm on. I'll be cranking my tour back up in San Diego in March and then a bunch of stuff starting in April, so you can check out my website as well.

A (25:35)

Amazing.

C (25:36)

All right, bud. Well, in that case, yes, Keep it pretty.

A (25:41)

Handsome Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handsomepodmail.com and please follow us on social media. Ansomepod.

C (25:59)

What a podcast.

A (26:01)

What a podcast.

D (26:05)

That was a Hitgum podcast.

B (26:08)

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking if you properly stored your half eaten bag of potato chips. So sad. Nothing's worse than going for a snack and realizing you've let your chips go stale.

C (26:24)

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote. That could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.