Tig Notaro (1:56)

No, like, I think you're like eight years older.

Mae Martin (1:58)

How old are you?

Tig Notaro (2:00)

45.

Mae Martin (2:02)

I'm 55.

Tig Notaro (2:03)

Oh, okay then yeah, you're a decade older.

Mae Martin (2:05)

Why aren't you listening to me when I say I'm double nickels? I can move into a retirement.

Tig Notaro (2:11)

Oh, my God, I forgot. You reached your fort pre senior drink age.

Mae Martin (2:15)

I was 10. I was already around a decade. And then you were like, I'm born. It's me, Baby Fortune.

Tig Notaro (2:23)

Baby Fortune. I was really cute as a baby, too.

Mae Martin (2:26)

God. Let's talk about it.

Tig Notaro (2:28)

That's where I peaked.

Mae Martin (2:30)

You peaked as a newborn.

Tig Notaro (2:31)

Peaked at 5. That was my. Those were my years.

Mae Martin (2:35)

I beg to differ. I don't know, you get. You get more and more adorable as the days go on, my dear me. Yes. Little tiny baby fortune.

Tig Notaro (2:46)

Little tiny baby fortune.

Mae Martin (2:51)

Does that mean we don't really have much to talk about when you're turning every sentence into a song?

Tig Notaro (2:55)

Probably.

Mae Martin (2:56)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (2:57)

No, we have plenty to talk about.

Mae Martin (2:58)

You go first, girl.

Tig Notaro (3:00)

For example. Do you know how life has been?

Mae Martin (3:07)

Yes, life has been. Just to recap, I lost the Oscar. Star Trek was canceled, and I turned 55.

Tig Notaro (3:17)

Wow.

Mae Martin (3:17)

That was in a week.

Tig Notaro (3:19)

What a week. I was about to say a month, but I didn't know it was all in one week.

Mae Martin (3:22)

It was a week. But that's not to say that. That those are bad things. No.

Tig Notaro (3:28)

I will say it was really cool to see your big gaggle of lesbians together at the Oscars.

Mae Martin (3:37)

Lesbian Avengers is what we call ourselves.

Tig Notaro (3:39)

The. Even though I was also there as part of a different thing.

Mae Martin (3:43)

Different gaggle.

Tig Notaro (3:44)

A different gaggle. It felt, like, cool to see so many. Yeah. I don't know how else to say it. Just lesbians at the Oscars.

Mae Martin (3:54)

Yeah, it was a good, good time. And, you know, as. As Glennon said, would she'd much rather lose with all of us than win with anyone else? So I think that was the general feeling.

Tig Notaro (4:12)

Really, though, you know, she could win an Oscar. No, she chose to lose, but it would not. It would be with a different group of people. Yeah, she don't want that.

Mae Martin (4:22)

That's right. None of us do.

Tig Notaro (4:26)

We're doing this together. We're not doing it at all.

Mae Martin (4:30)

Yeah, no, it was. It was. It was. It was fun.

Tig Notaro (4:33)

It's got to be kind of. I don't know what the word even is for Meg. Have. Having, like, had this whirlwind. I mean, basically, since Andrea died, this has all been a busy time, right?

Mae Martin (4:48)

Like, yeah, very busy.

Tig Notaro (4:50)

And went straight into, like, promoting the movie and. And, like, flying and then all the awards season. That would be kind of jarring to then suddenly just be done. Right.

Mae Martin (5:02)

Well, we're done with that, but we have a couple of other things that we're working on.

Tig Notaro (5:08)

Oh, nice.

Mae Martin (5:09)

Yeah, yeah. Yes. It's some exciting, fun things that the documentary has taken us in these directions that. Yeah, I can't. I can't talk about yet, but will be announced soon. But I think it's gonna keep Meg busy and creative and being able to still celebrate Andrea.

Tig Notaro (5:42)

That's great.

Mae Martin (5:43)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (5:44)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (5:45)

And like I said, my week of turning 55 and not winning an Oscar and having the Starfleet Academy canceled, there is positivity to all of it. Yeah. You know, like, turning 55 and feeling healthy and lucky that I am alive and thriving and hanging up my spacesuit and opening the door to other possibilities is exciting.

Tig Notaro (6:14)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (6:15)

I've been in the Star Trek universe for almost a decade.

Tig Notaro (6:18)

I was going to say. Yeah, that's. I think it'll be good. I think, you know, as much as it's always a bummer to have something in, I think for you personally, it's good to be moving into something else.

Mae Martin (6:30)

Yeah. And. And look, losing an Oscar is. It's. It goes back to. It's an honor to be nominated and what a fun ride that was. So I just present it like I had a. A massive downfall in a week, but it was actually, it. It's all completely fine.

Tig Notaro (6:52)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (6:53)

And I'm excited about what is coming in life, you know, how are you feeling about life? And I'm feeling good.

Tig Notaro (7:04)

You know, I was so focused on work for six months.

Mae Martin (7:07)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (7:08)

Where I was filming constantly. So it actually came at, like, the perfect time because it provided a really nice distraction from my own personal situation.

Mae Martin (7:21)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (7:21)

Which, you know, I. I had had the time where I dealt with things and not to say you. You deal with. And it's done. But I had had many, many months of sitting in my own stuff.

Mae Martin (7:37)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (7:38)

That I was ready to pivot into something else for sure. And I was really grateful that it just was. Became oral. I mean, I. I had no time for anything.

Mae Martin (7:52)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (7:53)

Beyond what I was doing. And I'm coming out of that now just kind of feeling renewed. Like, I. I definitely feel like I'm heading into a new chapter of my life and some of those old doors are closing soon, and.

Mae Martin (8:17)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (8:18)

I'm just sort of focused on just sort of being, you know, trying to enjoy life and find balance and. And I feel good.

Mae Martin (8:27)

That's great. Yeah. I'm getting started on spring break right now. We got two weeks with our cubs, and.

Tig Notaro (8:34)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (8:35)

I'm just thrilled that I'm able to be home for it. And. And we're not traveling, you know, just so we can be with Fluff. And so we've planned. We all hung out and organized day trips and activities in Los Angeles. And so we're going to. We're going to take la. Like, we're, you know, the rest of the world that comes out here to visit and vacation.

Tig Notaro (9:01)

Awesome.

Mae Martin (9:01)

Yeah, it's. Max and Finn are always kind of up for whatever.

Tig Notaro (9:07)

Yes.

Mae Martin (9:07)

And that's great. Yeah. So I'm just thrilled that I'm home for this. Yeah. Yeah. It's been really nice.

Tig Notaro (9:15)

After spring break is done, you'll have to give us the update of how it went. We want all the hot goss. All the deets.

Mae Martin (9:23)

Yeah. All the details of our museums and vegan outings. We're Trying different restaurants and. Yeah. But I'm excited for your new chapter because it feels similar to what I. I mean, different, of course, but similar in that, like, what's coming. Yeah. What. What is it? Let's. Let's see it. Yeah. Let's see what life is going to reveal.

Tig Notaro (9:48)

That's right. Yeah.

Mae Martin (9:49)

I'm excited to just get.

Tig Notaro (9:52)

Get on this new path.

Mae Martin (9:55)

The fun of not knowing, like, what is it? Because you can turn a corner today or a year from now and. And a whole different world opens up. Yeah. So I bet a lot of people listening can relate to that as well. But because we're here together, should we get into some questions and see? Maybe these questions will open some doors or close some doors for us?

Tig Notaro (10:20)

It could, yeah.

Mae Martin (10:21)

Yeah.

Katie Walker (10:23)

Hi, this is Katie Walker from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and I was watching the document Lilith Fair on Netflix and just, like, seething with jealousy because it looks like such a cool freaking thing to be able to experience at that time. So it got me thinking, if you were to make your own Lilith Fair festival today, what artist would you choose and why?

Mae Martin (10:50)

Love that question. And I really want to see that documentary.

Tig Notaro (10:54)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (10:55)

In fact, I wanted to make that documentary and said that to Stephanie and she said it was just made.

Tig Notaro (11:06)

So close.

Mae Martin (11:07)

Yeah. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking your birding app for new species in the area before going on a hike. Missed opportunity. Now I'm a mile in with no service and hearing some unique bird song, but I have no clue if it's a blue winged teal or a Eurasian wigeon.

Tig Notaro (11:34)

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Mae Martin (11:50)

Do you have any? I. I feel like I know a few who would be on your list.

Tig Notaro (11:55)

Well, you know, I'm. Natalie Maines is one of my dear friends, but she was. She did a little. They did a little affair.

Mae Martin (12:02)

I saw them there.

Tig Notaro (12:04)

So I. We talk about that sometimes. About the modern version of that.

Mae Martin (12:11)

You and Natalie do?

Tig Notaro (12:13)

Yeah, I mean, they would definitely be in there, I think got to. With. Along with Brandy Carlisle would seem to be like the person that would be. Or if anyone's gonna organize something like this, it felt. Feels like a Brandy.

Mae Martin (12:28)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (12:29)

Alanis. You know my gal Alanis.

Mae Martin (12:33)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (12:35)

She'll probably want me to come up on stage and sing with her.

Mae Martin (12:38)

Yeah, she'll probably want me to not.

Tig Notaro (12:41)

That will always be part of handsome lore. And then, let's see. Kelly Clarkson obviously has to be a part of this. I mean, I would say Beyonce, but she's not. She's doing her own thing. She's not going.

Mae Martin (13:06)

She didn't have time for us.

Tig Notaro (13:07)

She has time for that. She's amazing.

Mae Martin (13:10)

That's Lilith unfair.

Tig Notaro (13:14)

Oh, Janelle Monae. I love her. I feel like she'd be really fun and a little fair. She has all those fun outfits, too. She's. She's such a good entertainer. I mean, if Dolly could show up and, you know, she's.

Mae Martin (13:28)

I can get her there.

Tig Notaro (13:29)

Not gonna show up for the whole thing, but, you know, a few select cities. We'd really love Dolly in a few select cities and a few select cities. Yeah. Who else? Am I forgetting? Who else? Who else? Tig.

Mae Martin (13:43)

Well, this is your dream set up. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I don't.

Tig Notaro (13:46)

I can't hear about your dream set up in a minute. I mean, Celine again, too busy.

Mae Martin (13:52)

But Celine Dion at Lilithaire.

Tig Notaro (13:55)

You know, I love Celine.

Mae Martin (13:56)

We, I mean, have a little affair with Celine and Babs and Cher.

Tig Notaro (14:03)

A diva's version of Lilith Fair. Oh, my God. Celine's not gonna do that. This is more like folk music, right? This is like. This is more.

Mae Martin (14:14)

This is your Lilith Fair. You do what you want.

Tig Notaro (14:16)

I never got to go to Lilith Fair. I wish I had.

Mae Martin (14:19)

You're too little.

Tig Notaro (14:20)

I will. Yeah. I was. It just was like. I don't even think it was on my radar to look for tickets I didn't really look for. Like, when I was in high school, we didn't really go to concerts very much.

Mae Martin (14:33)

I lived at him.

Tig Notaro (14:35)

Yeah. I don't know. That feels like a good start. That feels like a lot. What about you?

Mae Martin (14:40)

And you've. You're locked. Okay.

Tig Notaro (14:43)

I mean, you might say this is locked. That might make me remember.

Mae Martin (14:48)

Yours is locked. Of course. The Indigo Girls. For me?

Tig Notaro (14:54)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (14:54)

Yeah. No, no, no.

Tig Notaro (14:55)

You missed it.

Mae Martin (14:56)

You missed it. No, no, you can't have them.

Tig Notaro (14:58)

You're locked. Tracy Chapman.

Mae Martin (15:02)

I'm doing mine. Tracy was on my list. Tracy was on my list.

Tig Notaro (15:08)

Good. She's on my list, too.

Mae Martin (15:09)

Yeah, well, you're already locked. The Pretenders. Okay. You gotta have Edie Raquel. Got to. Absolutely. Got to. Dolly. She's gonna. She said she'd do the whole.

Tig Notaro (15:26)

The whole thing. Amazing.

Mae Martin (15:28)

For me. Yeah.

Tig Notaro (15:29)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (15:29)

Nice. Yeah. Brandi Carlisle said she's gonna be there in Sarah Bareilles, which. Oh, yeah.

Tig Notaro (15:36)

I love her, too.

Mae Martin (15:36)

Yeah. Well, you missed it.

Tig Notaro (15:38)

Well, I love her.

Mae Martin (15:39)

You miss her as well. I love you too. That's. That's my Lilith Fair.

Tig Notaro (15:43)

I love this.

Mae Martin (15:45)

Yeah. Katie, who's on yours?

Katie Walker (15:48)

And my answer is, I would choose Miley Cyrus, Olivia Rodrigo, Joan Jett, Britney Spears, and Spice Girls. I know there were more people in the Lil Fare festival, but those were just my top ones. Thank you so much for all the laughs. Absolutely. Love the pod. I've seen all three of you live, and I can't wait to see you again. Thanks for everything. Love you.

Tig Notaro (16:11)

Bye.

Mae Martin (16:12)

Thank you, Katie. And I'm gonna unlock mine. Throw Olivia Rodrigo in there. She is so good.

Tig Notaro (16:18)

Oh, I also would throw in, for nostalgia effect, salt and peppa.

Mae Martin (16:23)

Mm. Yeah. Salt and pepper.

Tig Notaro (16:26)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (16:27)

Who else did she say that I was like? Oh, yeah, Joan Jett. I mean, that's who I named my character on Star Trek after Commander Jet Reno.

Tig Notaro (16:36)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (16:37)

Well, anyway, that was fun.

Tig Notaro (16:38)

That was fun. I love that.

Mae Martin (16:40)

I love you too. All right, should we get another question?

Tig Notaro (16:44)

Yeah, we should.

Mercy (16:45)

Hello, Fortune, May and Tig. This is Mercy from Richmond, Virginia, and I have a question for you that sort of comes from a philosophical standpoint. So I'm curious if you could know exactly how many times you've done any one activity, like, for instance, how many times you have smoked a cigarette or eaten a grape or anything. Literally anything. If you could know exactly how many times you've done any one thing over the course of your entire life, what would you want to know?

Mae Martin (17:22)

I know exactly what I'd want to know.

Tig Notaro (17:23)

Oh, I love that.

Mae Martin (17:24)

You know, I would want to. I think about this often. As a vegan person, I'm very curious how many times I have accidentally eaten an animal product.

Tig Notaro (17:37)

Oh, interesting.

Mae Martin (17:39)

And because I feel like. I mean, it's hard to not accidentally eat something and then you go, oh, sometimes something tastes weird in here.

Tig Notaro (17:50)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (17:51)

Or you look at the wrapper and you're like, oh, I thought for sure this was right. And so I don't think it's a lot for me. But I'm very curious how many times that has slipped on by. Yeah.

Tig Notaro (18:07)

Because, like, you're obviously not doing it on purpose, but. No, I'm sure it slips on by.

Mae Martin (18:14)

It does. I did confirm that it does slip on by. It's rare. Yeah. As far as I know.

Tig Notaro (18:20)

But you probably have a T. Like, now that I. I mostly drink oat milk. I have not drank, like, regular milk in many. Probably six years now.

Mae Martin (18:35)

Wow.

Tig Notaro (18:36)

In my coffee. So when someone puts regular milk in my coffee, I can Taste it immediately.

Mae Martin (18:43)

Does it taste gross or are you just like.

Tig Notaro (18:45)

It has a weird taste to me. I don't enjoy.

Mae Martin (18:48)

I'm on your side with that. Yeah.

Tig Notaro (18:50)

Like, and I don't. And I don't overdo the oat milk either because I know that has sugar in it, but I just do a little bit. But I. Regular milk in coffee does not taste good to me now.

Mae Martin (19:02)

I'll tell you what, speaking of sugar, I used to have these vegan bars that I would eat and then I really kind of paid attention to, like, oh, there's a lot of sugar in this. Mm. And then I started eating these other bars. They're called well being and this is not a commercial. But do you ever love something so much like your coffee or your little morning nibbles that you can't wait to wake up in the morning and have it?

Tig Notaro (19:33)

Oh, yeah, I feel that way about coffee.

Mae Martin (19:35)

Yeah. I'm like this, this new bar, like it. It's like the chocolate, it's. But it's only whole food plant based. There's no sugar added and it's so delicious.

Tig Notaro (19:49)

Oh, that's good.

Mae Martin (19:51)

Yeah. I'm like, I cannot wait to get to tomorrow.

Tig Notaro (19:54)

I'm excited.

Mae Martin (19:55)

I am excited by tomorrow.

Tig Notaro (19:58)

Anyway, I'm trying to think of what I would want to know. I was going to say I would want to know how many times I've called my mom, but then it might make me think I need to call my mom more.

Mae Martin (20:10)

How many times a week do you do it? If a week or.

Tig Notaro (20:14)

Yeah, we talk like four times a week.

Mae Martin (20:16)

Oh, that's a good amount. Roughly every other day.

Tig Notaro (20:21)

Every other day? Yeah, it's about every other day.

Mae Martin (20:23)

That's good.

Tig Notaro (20:24)

Two in a row. Definitely more now that she's, you know, older. I try to be more diligent about that. I would. I definitely don't want to know how much cake I've eaten. Please don't anyone tell me. No one track that and tell me. I think you tell by my belly how much cake I've eaten, but maybe, maybe how much I'm on my phone because then that would make me horrified and maybe want to use it less. Okay, not the calling my mom part. I mean like the scrolling.

Mae Martin (20:59)

Do you have the notification that's like, oh, you've been on your phone two hours or three hours or nothing like that?

Tig Notaro (21:07)

No, but I've definitely been trying to. I would say in the last year,

Mae Martin (21:11)

since

Tig Notaro (21:14)

my life changed significantly, I have posted a lot less of like, just whatever I've been More. It's been more, like, deliberate, what I post, but less, like, I'm just walking down the street, you know, that kind of thing.

Mae Martin (21:36)

And why do you think that is? That's so.

Tig Notaro (21:37)

I really don't know. I don't know what shifted, because now I'm, you know, by myself here. Like, I'm here in my house by myself, and I could just, like, whip out my phone and be like, what's up, everybody?

Mae Martin (21:54)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (21:55)

But I've not been doing that very much in. In my days as an unmarried woman. I. I don't know. I don't know what the shift there is.

Mae Martin (22:07)

That's really interesting. I've noticed that since the documentary and awards season and all that kind of wound down. I just don't have anything to say.

Tig Notaro (22:21)

Yeah.

Mae Martin (22:21)

You know, like, I was. It was so around that. Like, I feel like I was on social media way more than I was comfortable with because I was having to always promote the pot. The. Not the podcast, but the documentary, which was, of course, I was happy to do. But it's definitely wound down, right? Yeah. Maybe it'll jack back up at some point.

Tig Notaro (22:48)

Jack it back up.

Mae Martin (22:49)

Yeah. But sometimes I do feel like, who am I posting this or talking to? What am I doing? Like, it's just like, into the abyss of, like, hey, guys. It's like, who are the guys?

Tig Notaro (23:01)

Who are.

Mae Martin (23:02)

Who am I talking to?

Tig Notaro (23:04)

But anyway, I think also my priorities shifted a bit, too. Like, what way? Like, I just want to work and, like, have enjoyable work experiences, but I'm not as, like, into, like, I don't really care about the Hollywood parties.

Mae Martin (23:28)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (23:28)

Anymore. Or the networky stuff.

Mae Martin (23:32)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (23:32)

I just am like, does that any of that really matter? I mean, I'll go to think, you know, like, you went to the Oscars and Golden Globes. Stuff like that. It's part of work.

Mae Martin (23:42)

But, yeah.

Tig Notaro (23:42)

I'm just like, there were a lot of parties I didn't go to this year.

Mae Martin (23:47)

Yeah.

Tig Notaro (23:48)

That. I just was like, I don't know if I'm in that space anymore.

Mae Martin (23:53)

Right.

Tig Notaro (23:53)

And maybe that will shift again as well. I don't know. Sure. Could just kind of live in my life.

Mae Martin (24:00)

You're not just itching to be at every red carpet in town?

Tig Notaro (24:03)

No, no.

Mae Martin (24:06)

Samesies. Should we hear from Mercy?

Tig Notaro (24:09)

Let's do it for me.

Mercy (24:12)

I really want to go basic and just know how many times I've blinked ever.

Tig Notaro (24:18)

That'd be a lot.

Mae Martin (24:19)

That is so basic.

Tig Notaro (24:21)

I blink when I don't even realize I'm blinking.

Mae Martin (24:24)

What if.

Tig Notaro (24:24)

What if?

Mae Martin (24:25)

Mercy blinked 182 times.

Tig Notaro (24:29)

Be a lot more than that, but

Mae Martin (24:31)

do you get it?

Tig Notaro (24:33)

Oh, Blink 182. That's right. Yeah.

Mae Martin (24:39)

Well, Fortune, I'm just going to go ahead and tell our listeners to please submit your questions and advice requests to speak pipe.com handsome podcast we love getting your questions. They're always so interesting. Like, oh my gosh, what the heck made you think of that?

Tig Notaro (25:00)

Yeah, I love it.

Mae Martin (25:01)

Yeah, I love you, too.

Tig Notaro (25:03)

And we also have our Handsome live show at the Wiltern in Los Angeles, May 4th. So if you are itching for something fun to do on a Monday night, we'll be talking to Malin Ackerman and Brittany Snow from the Honey Wives. So get your tickets for that. Don't wait.

Mae Martin (25:20)

Stop waiting. All right, well, until next time, keep it pretty.

Tig Notaro (25:25)

Handsome

Mae Martin (25:28)

Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin and Fortune Theme Ster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handomepodmail.com follow us on social media at Handsome Pod what a podcast.

Tig Notaro (25:47)

What a podcast

Mae Martin (25:51)

that was a headgum podcast.

Tig Notaro (25:54)

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking my hair before I head out the door in the morning. Oopsie daisy. Turns out I've got a case of bedhead that will be studied in medical textbooks for many years to come, and I only realized it after wondering why everyone was staring at me in the coffee shop.

Mae Martin (26:13)

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.