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- [00:00]
Fortune Feimster
Handsome. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pot. Chatting with friends on the Handsome pot. Pretty little episode.
- [00:14]
Tig Notaro
Hello. Welcome to the pretty little episode. It's me, your friend, Tig Notaro.
- [00:19]
Fortune Feimster
And me, your friend, Fortune Feimster.
- [00:22]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, it's us.
- [00:24]
Fortune Feimster
We're pretty little ladies. Yes.
- [00:27]
Tig Notaro
We're missing our lady today.
- [00:30]
Fortune Feimster
I know.
- [00:31]
Tig Notaro
May is filming their show, which I'm sure will be a smash hit.
- [00:39]
Fortune Feimster
That's right. It was pretty fun when we had that live show, seeing how many people get their ponties in a bunch. Oh, no, that's the wrong phrase. Ponti's in a bunch is when you're irritated. Pony's. I don't want to say. What? That's gross. I know.
- [01:01]
Tig Notaro
I'm trying.
- [01:02]
Fortune Feimster
I'm trying not to say that.
- [01:04]
Tig Notaro
You already said it.
- [01:06]
Fortune Feimster
But over May. It's very fun to see these fans lose. It just. May is a heartthrob.
- [01:15]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Yeah.
- [01:16]
Fortune Feimster
I mean, not that we're not. It's just, you know, for Mar. We're, like, married and.
- [01:22]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [01:23]
Fortune Feimster
We're not getting ponies thrown at us just because people are trying to be respectful.
- [01:28]
Tig Notaro
I'm. I'm. You know, all this talk about, you know, single cat ladies. I'm a married cat lady. I've got a wife. I come with a lot. A wife, two kids and three cats.
- [01:40]
Fortune Feimster
I mean, that's why people. People think you're sexy, too. But they're not throwing their ponies at you.
- [01:47]
Tig Notaro
No, let's be honest. You and I are not heartthrobs on this show. Okay? It's all named after May. The show is named after May. It's handsome.
- [01:59]
Fortune Feimster
May's a heartthrob. But you have that Tom Cruise thing that the pretty little ladies love as well.
- [02:08]
Tig Notaro
Sure. I'm Tom Cruise in CVS readers. Absolutely.
- [02:15]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. It was just funny to see.
- [02:19]
Tig Notaro
Are you talking about after the show or just during the show?
- [02:22]
Fortune Feimster
During and after.
- [02:23]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. How do you know all the attention was towards May? How do you know it wasn't towards your handsome face or.
- [02:31]
Fortune Feimster
Because I guess, maybe. Maybe May's fans were more verbal. There were a lot of signs of May, will you marry me? Kind of thing. I saw a lot of Fortune Marie's, but that's just more of them.
- [02:43]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [02:43]
Fortune Feimster
Doing your Fortune Marie impression.
- [02:49]
Tig Notaro
Do you. When you're wandering around Toronto, do you have people, when people approach you, are they chill? Are they, like, whether it's about your stand up or acting or the podcast, are they, like, how do they interact with you?
- [03:07]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, pretty chill. Like, because I. I run into A lot more people in Toronto because I'm on foot a lot more than in la. In la, you're, you know, just driving more places. By nature of that giant city being so spread out here, people just are very nice. I think people approach me in a way that like. Like, hey, old friend. Yeah, like, good to see you. Like, it's funny, I've. Because especially when Biggie's here, I go walk him out by the sidewalk. I've had like three people stop when I'm outside and they're like, this is so crazy, but I'm literally listening to Handsome right now and I'm like, that's so funny. And then one guy was walking down here past me and he stopped, he goes, oh, my God. And he puts his phone up to me and it's Handsome. And that tickles me the most.
- [04:00]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, that's great.
- [04:02]
Fortune Feimster
How about with you?
- [04:03]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I was going to say, it's so refreshing, the chillness where I'll be walking to get a coffee or something and, you know, a guy will walk past me and be like, tig, hey, how's it going? And I'm like, good, thanks.
- [04:21]
Fortune Feimster
You know, like a familiar thing.
- [04:22]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not this girl. Yesterday when I was walking to the store, she came up and she goes, are you Tig Notaro? And I said, yes. And she goes, well, you have a wonderful day.
- [04:40]
Fortune Feimster
It's like you as well, if you weren't signatory. I'm not wishing you a good day.
- [04:47]
Tig Notaro
I've been wanting to say no, but I get that a lot just to see, you know, how that flies.
- [04:55]
Fortune Feimster
I'm always like, really proud of, like when I do shows, when the venues are like, you're fans are so nice and kind and what a lovely vibe. I. I definitely think our, our POD has that as well. Like that positive, like we're putting out something good or at least that's our intention. And I think when you do that, you know, it comes back to you and you see that in the kind of listeners that listen and just that, like, lovely spirit.
- [05:25]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. It is such a funny feeling when the venues comment on the fan base being nice and kind and chill.
- [05:36]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. You're like, who's been in here?
- [05:38]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, that's exactly it. I'm like, what the hell? Especially with comedians. Like, I just wonder what different comedians are drawing.
- [05:50]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, what, like what rowdy crowd?
- [05:54]
Tig Notaro
Rowdy or like rude, bitchy or trashed, you know, all of that kind of stuff.
- [06:02]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, well, we appreciate the love for sure.
- [06:05]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [06:05]
Fortune Feimster
Well, should we hear what our pre. Little listeners want to. Want to ask.
- [06:09]
Tig Notaro
Absolutely. That's why I'm here.
- [06:11]
Jordan Sullivan
Hey, handsome. My name is Jordan Sullivan, and my question for you is, do you use voices for your pets? And if so, what are they?
- [06:25]
Tig Notaro
Well, I.
- [06:26]
Fortune Feimster
Does Kitty City have some voices?
- [06:29]
Tig Notaro
Just to be clear, the question is, like, do I use a voice to speak as the animal or.
- [06:37]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, because I was thinking I definitely have a voice to speak to Biggie, but I guess she's. Yeah. If your voice. If your animal had a voice, do you ever, well, make that voice?
- [06:49]
Tig Notaro
We have our cat, Linus.
- [06:53]
Fortune Feimster
Lioness Linus.
- [06:55]
Tig Notaro
There's something about his face that he destroys me. He just, like, he is the cutest little thing, and his face just breaks my heart. And he just misses us so much whenever we're not home. And so, like, whenever we come in and he is clearly being extra affectionate, I always imagine his voice being like, to Stephanie. Hi, mom.
- [07:28]
Fortune Feimster
Mom. Hi.
- [07:29]
Tig Notaro
I missed you, Mom. Oh, mom, where were you? I love you so much, mom. And so I always do that voice for Linus.
- [07:38]
Fortune Feimster
Aw, I love that. Hi, mom.
- [07:41]
Tig Notaro
Hi, mom.
- [07:42]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, mom.
- [07:43]
Tig Notaro
Where were you? I was under the bed for two weeks. So.
- [07:49]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [07:49]
Tig Notaro
What's your Biggie voice?
- [07:51]
Fortune Feimster
I was trying to think, like, have. If I've ever done a voice as him, and I haven't, actually, I. I have my voice to him where I. It's that baby voice where I'm like, hello, my biggie baby bear. I love you so much. Oh, my God, I love you. I'm always. I'm always putting my face in his, and I'm just like, I love you, my Biggie baby bear. But I've never done a. Like, I don't know what his voice would be because I don't think he's gay. I definitely think he's a straight man.
- [08:30]
Tig Notaro
When you're in his face going, hello.
- [08:31]
Fortune Feimster
Biggie baby bear, does he still do.
- [08:34]
Tig Notaro
That, like, blank stare?
- [08:36]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, he's just like, she needs this. This is for her.
- [08:46]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [08:46]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. At home, he's actually. He has that blank stare when he's out in public.
- [08:52]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [08:53]
Fortune Feimster
But when he's at home, he's running around and. And when he's playing with a toy, which is often at home, he then looks like he's smiling. But when. When he's. When there's a bunch of strangers around, he just has that, like, blank thing. It's so cute.
- [09:14]
Tig Notaro
It is so.
- [09:15]
Fortune Feimster
I wish you could see him at home, though. He has this whole, like, tray with, like, stuffed carrots. And he. He can go to town on those all day.
- [09:29]
Tig Notaro
Stuffed carrots. What do you mean, like toys? Or like actual carrots With.
- [09:34]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, toy carrots that are stuffed. Okay, Soft stuff, whatever. He loves a squeaky toy. If you it. Jax was that night of the show, she's like, ah, yeah, she forgot a squeaky toy. Because she squeaks the toy and throws it. And he comes out and he looks like he's smiling because he's so pumped about the squeaky toy.
- [09:55]
Tig Notaro
I mean, what a life, huh?
- [09:57]
Fortune Feimster
He's got a good one.
- [09:58]
Tig Notaro
So if you had to make up a voice on the spot, life or death, you gotta come up with Biggie's voice. What is it right now? Fortune Marie.
- [10:09]
Fortune Feimster
What's up, you guys? It's Bee. I'm having a great day if you're in my face. Cool. But I'm gonna need to get a little salmon out of this interaction.
- [10:22]
Tig Notaro
And I'm gonna have to nibble on the carrots.
- [10:25]
Fortune Feimster
He's a cool guy.
- [10:26]
Tig Notaro
He's real cool.
- [10:27]
Fortune Feimster
Because my favorite animal voice is kind of like, hey, guys, it's me, Biggie. But I don't think he's gay.
- [10:35]
Tig Notaro
You don't think he's gay?
- [10:36]
Fortune Feimster
No.
- [10:37]
Tig Notaro
I could see him experimenting.
- [10:39]
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I can see people being into him. He's a pretty. He's all looks. We took him to a dog party once, and Jack's dressed him up in a tuxedo.
- [10:49]
Tig Notaro
Alison dog.
- [10:50]
Fortune Feimster
Alison Dunbar had one of these.
- [10:52]
Tig Notaro
Okay. Of course.
- [10:53]
Fortune Feimster
And this was years ago, so everyone brought their dog. And this was part of her. Like, yeah, she just wanted a dog party. And Jack's dressed big up in a tuxedo and there are all these big dogs around, and he kept running up to them and going around, like, trying to, like, show his dominance. And Allison was like, he's doing this because y'all dress him up like a fucking idiot.
- [11:19]
Tig Notaro
Classic Dunbar. Is there anyone funnier than Allison Dunbar?
- [11:26]
Fortune Feimster
She's so funny. She makes me laugh.
- [11:29]
Tig Notaro
She is so painfully funny. If you're not familiar with Alison Dunbar, do yourself a favor and seek her out.
- [11:36]
Fortune Feimster
Yes.
- [11:37]
Tig Notaro
Okay. Should we hear Jordan's answer to the question?
- [11:42]
Jordan Sullivan
My wife and I. Yes, of course. We have voices for our kids, AKA dogs. Berlin's voice is very Southern. She's a German short hair pointer, but somehow she turns into a Southern bale just like this. And our other dog, Bryson, he likes to this because he's a very good boy. Yeah, Very good boy. And you all are so handsome. Thank you so much for your time.
- [12:06]
Fortune Feimster
Okay, so Handsome.
- [12:09]
Tig Notaro
That's hilarious. That makes me realize that I didn't. I didn't mention what fluff or skip, what their voices are like, but, you know, that's for another episode.
- [12:22]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Don't give it all away in this one episode.
- [12:25]
Tig Notaro
Gotta leave more to come back to. All right, what's our next question? Mr. Thomas, this one is from Nina.
- [12:38]
Fortune Feimster
Nina.
- [12:39]
Tig Notaro
Let's hear it, Nina.
- [12:41]
Nina Willow
Hi, handsome. This is Nina Willow from Seattle. Love the podcast so much. I love to be out on a walk with my ear buds in, giggling by myself. I am a total fan girl. And my question for you is, when was the last time someone surprised you with kindness?
- [13:08]
Fortune Feimster
Surprised you with kindness? It goes back to what we were talking about earlier. I do feel like I have been abundantly over blessed with kindness this summer. Being in Toronto and being on the streets. Every day, somebody comes up to me and says something kind. I mean, truly, there's not been one day I've walked outside of this apartment and someone hasn't said, love your work or keep doing what you're doing. But a man. The other day, I was walking down the street and he. He kind of clocked me, and he was like, you know, that kind of like, wait, I think I. I know you.
- [13:52]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [13:52]
Fortune Feimster
And he stopped and he, like, looked me in the eye very earnestly, and he said, you keep doing what you're doing because it's. It means a lot and it makes people happy. And he just, like, made this really beautiful eye contact and was very sincere, and I was just like, man, thank you for that. You know, it really touched me.
- [14:17]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [14:17]
Fortune Feimster
That he wanted to connect in that way and let me know that he appreciated my work. And that was really nice.
- [14:26]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, that is really nice. I can't say that mine was a surprise, but I think I'm always. I'm not surprised because it's been an ongoing thing, but I'm regularly surprised that I'm still experiencing this. But a friend of mine named Steph, who is not my wife, she has really. Not just for me, but also for our good friend Andrea Gibson, has just taken it upon herself to help us with navigating our doctor's appointments and all of our medical issues and acts as an advocate for us. And it's so helpful to have her at appointments, on phone calls, on zooms, on email threads, because when you're dealing with different medical issues that are beyond just the common cold, it can sometimes be very complicated with decisions you're making. You're talking to so many different specialists, and this is Just a friend out of the goodness of her heart.
- [15:54]
Fortune Feimster
That's awesome.
- [15:55]
Tig Notaro
It is incredible. And I'm so thankful for her, and I've told her that. But as I'm saying it on here, I'm realizing I should really be pointed with my appreciation because she really. She takes pages of notes.
- [16:14]
Fortune Feimster
Wow.
- [16:14]
Tig Notaro
She does research. She really, really is so helpful. And to me, that is just like a different level of kindness.
- [16:24]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, that's a. That's a rare bird right there.
- [16:27]
Tig Notaro
Yeah, truly, she is a rare bird. She's just so, so smart. She's so smart, and she just comprehends everything where I'm like, I don't know. What do you think? Like, I don't know, you know, with different medications and treatments and it's just. It's. I'm just very thankful for that.
- [16:50]
Fortune Feimster
Shout out, Steph, That's. That's a good person. That.
- [16:53]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [16:53]
Fortune Feimster
Truly kind.
- [16:54]
Tig Notaro
All right, let's hear Nina's answer.
- [16:57]
Nina Willow
My brother called me out of the blue to tell me how much he loved me and how much he appreciated me and that he just was so glad I was in the world. And it was such a sweet, random message. Okay, thanks. Love this new free bonus.
- [17:21]
Tig Notaro
And, yeah, I mean, that's that thing of, like, I have thanked Steph. I have expressed deep appreciation, but I should probably just randomly thank her. It's kind of like how we've talked about. In relationships, it's important to just surprise people and show your appreciation. So.
- [17:45]
Fortune Feimster
For sure.
- [17:46]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [17:46]
Fortune Feimster
All right, let's get. Let's get one more question.
- [17:49]
Tig Notaro
This next question is from Annie.
- [17:51]
Annie
So I'm from Alabama, and I was married for almost 30 years to a man. And anyways, I am gay, and it took me a long time, you know, to figure this out, I guess. But anyways, now I'm having trouble figuring out how to meet women in Birmingham, Alabama area. And also, I don't know, there's no bar. I mean, we used to go to bars, and there's not really any bars for women my age, I guess. I don't know. I just feel like I'm very old and don't have. Don't know how to start all this.
- [18:32]
Fortune Feimster
The search.
- [18:34]
Annie
Thanks.
- [18:35]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, man, I love a new gay welcome. Welcome to the gay club.
- [18:42]
Tig Notaro
Welcome to gay town.
- [18:44]
Fortune Feimster
I actually have some, I think, pretty good advice.
- [18:47]
Tig Notaro
Oh, good.
- [18:48]
Fortune Feimster
Because I discovered. And maybe Annie knows this, and I know it's not Birmingham and it's not Alabama, but in Arkansas isn't that close to Alabama, isn't it?
- [19:00]
Tig Notaro
It's on. It's on planet Earth as well.
- [19:02]
Fortune Feimster
It's, like, in that vicinity. And again, I know this isn't a perfect answer, but in Arkansas, there are gay enclaves. Fayetteville, Arkansas. Eureka Springs. They're full of lesbians. Did you know this?
- [19:18]
Tig Notaro
I didn't.
- [19:20]
Fortune Feimster
They're full of lesbians.
- [19:22]
Tig Notaro
So you're telling Annie to go date in Arkansas?
- [19:24]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I'm just telling her to leave. Just leave.
- [19:27]
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh, Annie, I have a great idea. You should go out in New York City.
- [19:35]
Fortune Feimster
No.
- [19:35]
Tig Notaro
And go to San Francisco. That's too far. West Hollywood. Oh, my gosh, Annie, do it.
- [19:41]
Fortune Feimster
Annie, do it. I'm just saying take a trip for the weekend to Fayetteville. There's some places there. And then. And then you'll meet and you'll be like, well, Heidi, one of us. Because they're Southern. Heidi, one of us should move to. You want to come to Alabama, or you want to come to Arkansas? Let's do it. Let's bump uglies in one of these a states, Merchant Marie. Well, these a states, baby. Come on, let's do it. That's my advice. It's not great. I'll come up with something better. Tig, what do you think?
- [20:14]
Tig Notaro
I mean, it's hard to argue with fortune's idea of someone in Alabama dating in Arkansas. I do love that you lit up with excitement like you had solved the.
- [20:26]
Fortune Feimster
Problem, because I couldn't believe there are all these gays in Arkansas.
- [20:30]
Tig Notaro
Well, they're everywhere. That's why the saying is we're everywhere.
- [20:35]
Fortune Feimster
But a concentrated big community full of gays.
- [20:39]
Tig Notaro
Well, here's another option, Annie.
- [20:42]
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
- [20:43]
Tig Notaro
There are gay cruises.
- [20:47]
Fortune Feimster
Oh.
- [20:49]
Tig Notaro
You know, like, gay resort weekend type things that I think have been really helpful for people that are. It's not just like, meet somebody online. It's like, oh, go. If you can afford it. Obviously. But it's an option. I mean, look, if you're going to.
- [21:06]
Fortune Feimster
Be traveling to freaking Arkansas.
- [21:09]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Then why not just get a. You know, a cabin on a cruise and.
- [21:15]
Fortune Feimster
Okay, first off, I said drag Arkansas. You're telling her to go to a port and travel to Mexico. I mean, I feel like mine was the better option here.
- [21:24]
Tig Notaro
Okay, so you either drive to Arkansas alone and what? Drive around with your windows down.
- [21:36]
Fortune Feimster
I've got a better idea. Fly to Miami and get on a cruise.
- [21:40]
Tig Notaro
Okay. Drive to Miami. I know you love driving everywhere, so we'll get. Annie, you can either drive or fly to a port and get on a gate cruise. Or go to a gay resort.
- [21:55]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [21:55]
Tig Notaro
Week or weekend Those are fun.
- [21:57]
Fortune Feimster
And people make a lot of friends and sometimes more than friends.
- [22:01]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And there are people from all around the world on those things. All around the country and. Yes. Including Arkansas and Alabama. Just because the states are in the south, starting with an A, doesn't mean that you have to date in that.
- [22:17]
Fortune Feimster
That's true. You don't have to date in that. A state.
- [22:21]
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
- [22:22]
Fortune Feimster
But also, tell your. Speaking of friends. Tell your friends, hey, I'm looking. You know, he. Gays hooks a sister up.
- [22:30]
Tig Notaro
Isn't there a handsome.
- [22:33]
Fortune Feimster
Good point.
- [22:34]
Tig Notaro
Page on some social. Like on Facebook or something?
- [22:36]
Fortune Feimster
On Facebook. Yeah.
- [22:38]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. So what it. I don't know what it's called, but I think you can go. I don't even.
- [22:44]
Fortune Feimster
Someone wrote me and told me on one of our episodes where we were singing. They're like, I think Tig wanted to kill Fortune because I was singing a lot, and I'm like, tig was fine. Everybody calm down.
- [22:56]
Tig Notaro
I know. Why do people think people write being like, I saw so and so getting irritated or rolling their eyes?
- [23:05]
Fortune Feimster
We're fine.
- [23:07]
Tig Notaro
We're doing a comedy podcast. Nobody's irritated with anybody.
- [23:12]
Fortune Feimster
These are bits.
- [23:13]
Tig Notaro
These are jokes and silliness. But yeah, Thomas just put this up. The Handsome podcast fan page. That might also be a place to.
- [23:25]
Fortune Feimster
Go to and ask them, do you guys know any lesbians in Birmingham? No gays in Birmingham. So it's a lot of gays in Birmingham.
- [23:36]
Tig Notaro
But do go to the fan page or go book yourself a ticket on a cruise or get in the car.
- [23:43]
Fortune Feimster
And drive freaking Arkansas.
- [23:45]
Tig Notaro
Make it happen.
- [23:47]
Fortune Feimster
We wish you the best of luck, Annie, and we're excited for your new lesbian journey.
- [23:53]
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Keep us posted. Please send in a picture when you meet that special someone in the hills and mountains of Arkansas.
- [24:02]
Fortune Feimster
Eureka Springs. All right, well, thank you guys for. For tuning in and for your questions.
- [24:08]
Tig Notaro
Yes. And definitely tell your friends and your loved ones about this ridiculous, silly show where we are having a good time. And. Yeah, subscribe, and until next time, keep it pretty.
- [24:28]
Fortune Feimster
Handsome Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us at handsomepod@gmail.com and please follow us on social media @HANDSOMEPOD. What a podcast.
- [24:48]
Tig Notaro
Podcast. What a podcast.