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A
This is a headgun podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking. If my inspired idea for a song was original. Oops. I came up with an all time classic melody that turned out to already be an all time classic melody. Back to the drawing board. Yeah.
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Checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance could company and affiliates Northbrook, Illinois.
A
Friends on the Handsome Pod Chatting with friends on the handsome pod Pretty little episode. Welcome to the prettiest littlest episode with your prettiest little hosts. I'm May Martin and I'm Fortunate Feaster.
B
This is the Handsome Pods pre low episode.
A
Yes, it is. How are you?
B
I am coming back down to life. I have been in Europe for the last couple of weeks. We'll probably talk about it when all the details. When we all are together again. But it was really fun.
A
Are you jawline?
B
I'm so tired.
A
It's so crazy what it does to your body. It makes you feel like you're on. On the moon.
B
Yeah. I was like, I don't know that I could have done any more city. I did six countries, seven shows and I'm. I don't think I could have done any more than that. I could not get on a sleep schedule. Yeah, yeah. Mess me up. It was a. You know, because from la, it's a nine hour time difference and we're in Scandinavian countries and eight in London, I believe. And I. Every night I was like, I'm gonna go to bed, I'm gonna get my eight hours. And every night I stared into space.
A
Yeah.
B
And I averaged like five hours a night. I was so tired.
A
God, I wanna. But I can't wait to hear all about it.
B
Yeah, it was fun.
A
The shows were good.
B
I definitely have some fun stories for y' all about my mom.
A
Oh, great.
C
Great.
B
Yeah, the shows were awesome. A lot of handsome listeners in every audience.
A
Hell yeah, there are.
B
And so that was really cool. Any, like, I said something about a ghost at one point and a bunch of people were like, yeah, ghost, yeah. And then, yeah, a lot of people just in, in the airport in Dublin, someone yelled, keep it handsome. And. Oh, really? Yeah, really cool.
A
Did they yell it like, keep it handsome.
B
Keep it handsome.
A
Keep it handsome.
B
I watch out. You keep it handsome.
A
I love Ireland.
B
So, yeah, it was fun to like go to other countries and, you know, you've experienced this having lived in. In London and just being like, man, that's crazy that your comedy goes all these places.
A
I know. And also with England, I'm always surprised. Like, I'm. I get culture shock and I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot. It's a totally different culture. Like, yeah, everything is slightly different, which I. Which I like.
B
Well, it's funny. Like, London was my biggest of the shows and the quietest of the audiences.
A
Really?
B
Huh. Like, yeah, they were into it, but I. They. They were. It seemed like they were into it. Very polite listening, but just like, kind of like, we're. We're here for the ride. Like, yeah, it was funny, but then, like, Dublin was like, as expected. So rowdy.
C
Yeah.
B
They're like, come to the pub with us after.
A
I love that.
C
Yeah.
B
But I was boring. I didn't do any of that stuff.
A
Oh, yeah, well, you were with Ginge.
B
True.
A
I. My only news is that. Well, my big news is, like, I cut my. I cut a lot of my hair off late at night. You can't really tell, but it is significantly shorter.
B
So it's making you do this a lot right now.
A
Oh, yeah, always.
B
That's your favorite thing to do that.
A
You know, when I was filming Wayward, Toni Collette said, fucking stop touching your hair. And in a nice way. And. But pretty much like that.
B
She.
A
She's sassy. And I was like, I actually don't think I can stop touching it. Like, it's.
B
It's definitely an OCD thing.
A
Maybe, maybe.
B
Maybe I do that with my fingers. I have a. I have a touch of ocd. And it's not in the way. That's, like, you know, repetitive. But I. I think this is called. What is like a stem stemming. Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
I have a situation and I can't. I'm always doing this with my nails, and then if I have mine comes out in, like, weird details. Like, say, like, I'm getting a TV hung on the wall.
A
Yeah.
B
If it is even like an inch too high or short, I can't not fix eight on it.
A
Really.
B
And I will stare at it and wish it to be different. And, like, I'll take pictures. I'll send it to people. Do you think this is too high?
A
Oh, my God.
B
We're talking like an inch here. Maybe in half an inch.
A
Sometimes I gotta get you over to my house because it will be your hell. Because it is higgledy piggledy. Because I just. I hang like, look at this. Does this stress you out? So I just picked those random oh, yeah.
B
That stresses me out. That's not right.
A
How bad is that? Look at that.
B
It has to be the ones. The bottom one stays and the other one centers with that one and go up.
A
Probably like a gap between.
B
It's weird that they're touching. They don't need to be touching.
A
I just pick random spots and I'm like, oh, that's okay. Yeah.
B
Yeah. I'm like. And then other things I could care less about, I don't notice. It's like, whatever. But it's certain things where I'm just like. That is like a half an inch too short. It's too tall.
A
And what about your clothes? Do you fold your clothes?
B
No, I don't give a. About clothes or any of that stuff. Yeah, it's more like. And I know, like, in theory I could pay the guys to come back and move it down an inch or up an inch, but I'm more just like, why didn't I just figure that out the begin to begin with.
A
Yeah.
B
So you just don't know until it's up there.
A
Just sit and hate it. For months I sit and hate it. Yeah.
B
And I will stare at it. Yeah. For months. Being like, just if it was an inch lower.
A
I bought a. An outdoor hammock. Like, you don't need trees for it. It's got like the metal thing. Y Y And yesterday I did not leave my house. I didn't venture out past my front gate. I was so. I was lying in the sun on the hammock and I.
B
Smells nice.
A
Yeah. I just was like, I'm not even gonna shower till like 1pm I just lay around. It was so nice.
B
Yeah.
A
I got a couple weeks here now.
B
Oh, that's good. I know. I think I'm. I've gotta go out of town again for shows in the States. But then I'll be back after each one. Both weeks. And I'm pretty pumped.
A
Oh, that's good. Dude.
B
There's so much happening at my house. It's coming along swimmingly.
A
What's this black thing behind you?
B
Oh, this is a new. Like just a table. Table. And eventually I'm going to put things on it.
A
Yeah.
B
And then I'm going to put things on the wall. They had put this. As if I was going to hang this. I'm not. It's just one show that was sold out.
A
Oh, that's so cute. The venue gave you a poster that
B
said, like, I can't put up one random theater that was sold out on my wall. Like, that's just too random.
A
That is too random. Use the frame or paint.
B
I was about to say the frame's good. I might use the frame.
A
Yeah, yeah. Paint over the thing inside it.
B
But I'm. I'm. I'm fixing my tits out hot tub.
A
Oh, I thought you're gonna say, I'm fixing my tits.
B
And I was like, no, these are just gonna be saggy forever. Tits out hot tub is being fixed, so it will no longer be tits out.
A
How you're building up the sides or digging it down.
B
No, I'm. I'm paying for them to go in and re. I'm paying them for them to re. Re. Bench.
A
Re. Bench. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the bench is too high. Yeah.
B
I'm doing two of the benches five inches higher, five to six inches higher. So the water is actually going to come up to, like, here, which I'm pretty.
A
Chin out. Chin out tub.
B
I'm pretty pumped about, which not everyone's. Not everyone wants it that high, but I do. But then another bench is only going to be about 3 inches higher, so it will be. It will land just above the teats. I'm like, for shorter people.
A
If I had it up to me, I would be up to here in the water. I want to feel like I'm a.
B
I want to be engulfed.
A
Yes.
B
I want to be engulfed if I'm going to be in a hot tub. And you don't want it too high because the bubbles. But if it's here, it's great. Your whole body's getting. You know, I know
A
we need to be back in the womb. Let's be honest.
B
That's what we want, and that's kind of what I want. But then they were like, you should have one bench, not as deep because of the short people. And I was like, that's true. I don't know what short people will be in here.
A
Tig might be.
B
But yeah, she'll have one bench available to her.
A
Okay.
B
So, yeah, anyway. Well, should we get to our questions?
A
Yeah. I'm curious. Maybe there'll be some European listeners.
B
Mm.
D
This is Michelle Fortune, by the way. I'm also a tits out hot tub girl. So my question. In my line of work, I provide briefings to large groups of people on stage. So my question for you is, have you ever had an experience when you're doing standup where your body does something you did not plan on? Like you tripped or you fell or. Or you lost your faculties, Something happened physically that you did not know was going to happen? And how did you recover?
A
Oh, God, yeah. That just filled me with anxiety.
B
I love that she gave a shout out to the tits out.
A
So there's people out there who are like proudly. Tits out. Yeah. I like that the two. Two things came to mind. Both of them are gross and both happen in Australia. One is I had pneumonia in Australia and I was doing the festival and I was coughing all through my show and I coughed so hard that I. I felt like a crack in my ribs almost. Maybe it was muscular, but it was like a crack. And then I had to end. It's the only time I've ever ended a show early because I was like, guys, I can't. And everyone was like, thank God. We've been so uncomfortable this whole show watching you sweat and cough. So I was glad I ended it. And the other thing, same festival, I felt like I had to fart and I. And I thought I can't. So I kind of moved backwards as I was talking, like, kind of towards the back wall. Just like made up a reason. And then I did the fart and then it. And then I watched for it and it kind of followed me and I swear hit the. Hit the audience. And it was rough. Yeah. What about you?
B
I once was in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I just eaten a charcoots board, coughed in the middle of the set, and a giant wedge of cheese coughed up out of my mouth.
A
Oh, my God.
B
And I was like, did you guys just see that? And they were like, yeah. And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. So that was.
A
Did it come?
B
So embarrassing. I also laughed about it.
A
Yeah. Oh my God.
B
Because I think I was getting over a cold too. So it was just like.
D
Yeah.
B
And then the other time was in P Town, Provincetown, which I'm going to go back to finally in August of this year. I haven't performed there in years. I had to pee so bad. I was. I had 10 minutes left of my set and I. And it was coming. It's coming, coming, coming, coming. I was trying to like, push through, push through, push through. And at 10 minutes I was like, I'm going to piss my pants.
A
Yeah.
B
And so I had to say to the audience, I said, you guys, I. I'm gonna keep it real with you. I. I can't.
A
I.
B
Or maybe I had like five minutes. It was something like five minutes left. I go, I have five minutes left in my set, technically. I go, but I am about to pee my pants. So do we just call it now and I go pee or do you want me to pee. And I come back.
C
Oh, my God.
B
They were like, just go pee, girl.
A
And did you come back or you
B
were like, no, they were like, it's fine. Just go pee. And then I peed. And then it was a very small show. This was years funny. And then when I. And I think I went back in the room and just, like, high fived everyone. I washed my hands. But yeah, they were just like, just go pee. We're good.
A
That's really funny.
B
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking my outfit before going out the door. Oops. I accidentally wore an entire outfit of green clothes and now I look like a leprechaun.
A
Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds of. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. I have one time was doing improv with Alana Johnston and Stephanie Allen, Tig's wife. And it was the only time I've ever experienced someone on stage was. Stephanie just goes, I gotta go. I gotta go to the. And I've never. And I thought something was wrong, like maybe she's gonna puke or some emergency. And so she left. And I was really. Because I've never had that in an improv set. And then she came back out and was like, sorry, I just had to pe.
B
Pee.
A
And I was like, yeah, that's so many people's worst nightmare on stage. But then once it's happened, you're like, all right, well, that's the worst.
B
I have a very tiny bladder. And so I. If I. I have to pee more than I feel like I should be peeing.
A
Same.
B
And I don't know if that maybe I'm doing something wrong to cause that, but I pee, like, three times before I go up on every show.
A
Me too. And then before you go to bed, do you pee a lot?
B
Yeah, because I'm late. The older I get, the more I am, like, at, like, 4 in the morning, waking up, having to pee.
A
Yeah.
B
I don't know.
A
Yeah.
B
Because I drink water.
A
Yeah. Should we hear what Michelle has to say?
B
Yeah.
D
For me, unfortunately, about a year ago, as I'm taking the stage in front of 2,000 people, that's when the heel of my pump decided to give out, crack my ankle and fall flat on my pooper on the stage. And all I could do is look up, laugh, and roll over. Thank you, guys for everything. You do. I love you.
B
That's definitely embarrassing. But I was worried that she actually broke her ankle at first, but I think she was okay.
A
I think she powered through, but I've never heard pooper. So she fell on her pooper.
B
That. Yeah. Funny. There's a video out there that. This is so mean. Ch. When I was on Chelsea lately, they used to play it all the time. And it's. Kelsey Grammer is on stage doing some kind of speech, and he's talking. Talking and just suddenly falls off the stage. No, it was a stage that had like. Like, divots in it, and he didn't see it and he walked into the layer. There was like. No, the stage ended and just went, oh, my God.
A
That's good.
B
He was fine. Yeah, they used to play that all the time.
A
I'm going to have to watch that. I think we're allowed to enjoy that now that he's a trumpy.
B
Yeah.
A
So I'm going to watch that. That's the worst nightmare, though, is like. Yeah. Tumbling off.
B
Yeah.
A
Off stage.
B
My other thing I get worried about is, is my zipper down?
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Got to check that because I have a couple of jeans. I feel like the cheaper jeans are getting, the more the zipper keeps being loose.
A
Absolutely.
B
So I check that a lot and. And just, you know, bugs and stuff.
A
Bugs.
B
No. If people can see it when you're on stage.
A
Yeah. Well, that was great. Now I'm full of anxiety for my next show. Yeah, let's do another one.
C
Hi, Tig, me and Fortune. My name is Jenna. I'm calling from just outside of Ithaca, New York. If y' all have never been to Ithaca, I highly recommend visiting. We are very gay out here in the middle of nowhere.
B
Yep.
C
And it's a fun time. So my question for you is, what is one cork that. Or habit that you have that other people may find strange, but you actually find great comfort in it?
B
Oh, great. A quirk about ourselves.
A
Yeah. That other people have noticed and found strange. But you.
B
That were into.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay. By the way, I have been to Ithaca. There is okay. Hiking. There is a hiking trail there with waterfalls, and it's beautiful.
A
Oh, that sounds good.
B
It was. I was driving through that area because I had shows, I think, in Rochester and Albany or. And I rolled through Ithaca.
A
Ithaca.
B
Fantastic hike.
A
It sounds like a mythical elven place. Like.
B
Sounds like Ichabod Crane.
A
Yeah. Follow the river to Ithaca. When you're there, you must. Yeah.
B
Anyway, I. Yeah. What is yours?
A
Well, I didn't realize I did this until Living with Parvati, and she noticed that when I brush my teeth, instead of moving the toothbrush, I move my head. So I move my head the way it needs to go. Like that kind of. I mean, sometimes I'll do a bit with the brush, but mainly I'm moving my head around. But I do find. I find that. Really? I didn't know I did that.
B
But, yeah. I mean, that's so funny, because my quirk would be my fingers. Like, I can't leave my hands alone.
A
Yeah.
B
And I have had people in my life, and my mom just did it the other day where she tried to grab my hand to keep me from doing it. And I've had other people be like, stop picking your hands.
A
Yeah, but you like it, but let live, girl.
B
I think I just don't want my nail bed to be up. Right. Which I understand. But it's definitely a weird quirk, and I don't necessarily love it.
A
I think it's weird that we grow nails. Like, I guess evolution was like, you might need a weapon there. But then we have these little pathetic little nails that don't do.
B
You know, someone told me.
A
I don't know why I got so.
B
I don't know. You really did.
A
They don't do shit, these fucking nails.
B
I don't know if this is true, but someone told me that your nails are like, it's waste coming out of your body or something. Is that true?
A
I don't think so.
B
That's why your nails grow is like, it's your fingers that are coming that.
A
I don't know.
B
Them growing.
A
I don't know. It must be just so you can scratch someone or dig a little hole for your shelter. Can't be waste.
B
I don't know. I guess I could Google it, but who cares?
A
Wikipedia says that a nail protects your fingers, so it has a use. Does it really protect your fingers, though?
B
It doesn't say anything about waste.
A
If anything, it's waste. I don't think it protects your fingers because it's so. I'd rather my finger was all the way around finger, because once that nail falls off, it's the most vulnerable, sensitive little part of your bod, if you. You know what I mean. It just feels like a little Achilles heel. Anyway, what does Jenna have to say?
C
My answer to that question is that when my hair is longer, I twirl it and I actually find ways to feel how smooth it is between my fingers. I did this ever since I was a little kid, and now that my hair is growing out Long again. Because, you know, I'm doing a little queer mullet situation. I'm finding myself back into that little comfort quirk of mine. So I'm not mad about it. All right. Thank you so much.
A
I love a queer mullet.
B
That's awesome. They're fun.
A
Yeah. My friend Joe is visiting right now, who I write with, and he's. He has a thing that for years, I never asked him about it because I thought maybe there's something neurological going on or something. Like something's up with Joe, but you don't. To each their own. Because he'd move. He'll be sitting there, and his head will sort of start to move, and he's looking out the window like that. And then I found out that all this time, for years, he's been. He'll find a mark on the window, and then he'll, like, line it up with something else in his vision, like he's doing this whole thing. Anyway. I thought he just was losing his mind.
B
Is that the same Joe that wrote the rom com with Brett Goldstein?
A
No, no.
B
Oh, that's a different Joe.
A
Yeah, this is. Joe wrote Feel Good With Me.
B
That's right. Okay.
A
We're writing a new show. I'm so excited about it.
B
Oh, yeah?
A
Yeah. It's spooky.
B
Oh, another thriller.
A
Well, those were thriller, but it's funnier than Wayward. And.
B
And that genre is really very popular. Oh, by the way, that's the thing right now that people are really into that what show? Off campus. You know what I'm talking about.
A
Oh, no, I haven't seen it.
B
Okay, so it's the new Young Adults.
A
Okay.
B
I don't. I have to admit, I'm. I watched a lot of the young adult content. You like Hot Teens, The Summer I Turn Pretty.
A
Yeah.
B
But that somehow it's very entertaining. It's so cheesy. But off campus is the super hot show now with the, like, college age kids. It's hockey players, but not the gay ones. Like, heated rivalry. This is straight hockey players, and they're in relationships. Lots of sex.
A
Great.
B
So it's super popular. And all the songs are blowing up from the show too, including G Flips.
A
No way.
B
Who has asked a question on the pod Friend of the pod. G Flip is having a massive hit with their song that is on the series. But yeah, it's super. It's the show right now. And, you know, I'm watching it.
A
Of course you are. I'm gonna watch it.
B
So I'm just saying, when you f. As you write your show, throw in all that stuff. Because some teens, they love. They love when. They love when guys are shirtless.
A
Yeah.
B
They love when. And they're not teens. This is college. People, like, you're crazy.
A
Yeah.
B
They love it when they're boning.
A
Yeah. I'll do. We'll get a lot of boning in.
B
Yeah.
A
I'm excited for overcompensating season two. And also, I've been watching. I've been watching Widow's Bay on Apple. I don't know if you know, it's like, it's so effortlessly cool. It's kind of. It's about a little. A little town, coastal town, that every week there's like, a new horror thing. So, like, one week it'll be zombies, one week it'll be a serial killer, Next week it'll be like a sea monster. And it's just great actors and. Yeah.
B
Love it.
A
Reminds me of Buffy, kind of.
B
But I like overcompensating as well. We'll have to. We asked Benito, like a year ago to do a Handsome Question and never
A
followed up, so he was so pumped to do it.
B
But I like to say bonito.
A
Well, this was a joy.
B
Yeah.
A
As always, what a treat.
B
Check us out on our tours. I'll be in some fun places soon, like Red Bank, New Jersey, and I. I'm announcing a lot of dates soon, so check those out.
A
July 17th, I'm in Guelph playing a lot of my album with a band, so come and see that in Ontario at Hillside. Or then right after that, I'm going to Folk on the Rocks and Yellowknife and doing the same thing. So if you want to come rock out, please do. And please keep submitting your questions and your advice requests to speakpipe.com handsomepod we also have new merch@ handsomepod.com and we love you, and we love you, and we love each other. We love the world.
B
Until then, keep it pretty.
A
Handsome Handsome Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handomepodmail.com and please follow us on social media at Handsomepod.
B
What a podcast.
A
What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that the vintage T shirt I ordered online isn't too vintage. I'm having buyer's remorse. I'm okay with a little wear and tear, but this 80s band T shirt I bought is mostly holes. And I need a little more coverage.
B
Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
Hosts: Mae Martin, Fortune Feimster
Date: June 26, 2026
Podcast: Handsome, Headgum
This "Pretty Little Episode" of Handsome features Mae Martin and Fortune Feimster chatting about recent travels, personal quirks, and listener questions—with the usual comedic banter and candid storytelling. The episode centers on stories about onstage mishaps, self-professed quirks that provide comfort, and pop culture digressions, all with the warm, ridiculous spirit Handsome fans love.
Michelle Fortune asks if they've ever lost physical control or suffered a mishap on stage. ([09:08])
Listener Michelle’s Mishap:
Current TV Obsessions:
Personal Projects:
Fortune, on travel exhaustion:
Mae, on being called out by Toni Collette:
Fortune, on onstage mishap:
Michelle (listener):
Mae, existential about nails:
Fortune, on hot tub comfort:
| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:01 | Fortune recaps European tour, audience differences | | 03:33 | Mae & Fortune discuss compulsive quirks (hair/fingers) | | 07:55-08:05 | Fortune describes “tits out hot tub” and repair plans | | 09:08 | Listener Michelle asks about onstage mishaps | | 10:12 | Mae shares story of ending a show sick in Australia | | 11:02 | Fortune’s “wedge of cheese” story | | 11:56 | Fortune nearly peeing on stage; audience advice | | 12:46 | Mae’s improv tale of companion leaving stage mid-set for a bathroom break | | 16:02 | Listener Jenna asks about comforting quirks | | 17:15-18:02 | Mae & Fortune describe their quirks; nail talk tangent | | 19:32 | Jenna shares hair-twirling as comfort | | 21:14 | Fortune recommends "Off Campus" show | | 22:31 | Mae recommends "Widow's Bay" on Apple TV | | 23:15/23:27 | Hosts plug upcoming tour dates and album shows |
Conversational, irreverent, and full of inside jokes; the hosts blend warm encouragement for listeners with their characteristic, self-deprecating comedic honesty.
This “Pretty Little Episode” offers classic Handsome vibes: relatable mishaps, neuroses, and comforts, plus a dash of pop culture and community connection. Listeners are encouraged to send in questions, keep it handsome, and not take themselves too seriously—unless it involves hot tubs or proper wall art alignment.