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Tig Notaro
This is a Headgun podcast.
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Fortune Feimster
in good working order before flying her out on a trip.
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Big mistake. Now instead of seeing the sights, we're shopping for a new roller bag.
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Fortune Feimster
Handsome.
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Chat with friends on the Handsome Pod Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod Pretty little episode.
Tig Notaro
Hi, it's your friend Tig Notaro sitting here with my co host, Fortune Feamster. And this is a pretty little episode, is it not?
Fortune Feimster
It sure is. Feels very pretty to me. In your office, I know you have that gavel that makes your office officially an office. I have this.
Tig Notaro
Oh, Fortune. Is this new or have you had this?
Allstate Ad Voice
I.
Fortune Feimster
This is from when I guest hosted Jimmy Kimmel, and I just found it, and I was like, I think I need this in my office to make it an official.
Tig Notaro
Is it on the edge of your desk?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, it's right up here.
Tig Notaro
Love it.
Fortune Feimster
And so if anyone wants to take a meeting with me.
Tig Notaro
Huh.
Fortune Feimster
They know whose office this is.
Tig Notaro
Okay. I have my ex's parents in a coaster on my desk. Oh, my gosh.
Fortune Feimster
I just realized the people listening don't know what I held up. It's my name. A name plate of my name.
Tig Notaro
Nobody's listening.
Fortune Feimster
They could only see that on a video.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And, yeah. You have your ex's parents. That's the. Those are the parents you're close to?
Tig Notaro
Yes. They have been like parents to me. Thomas has met them. Yeah. They are just delightful elderly folk living in the middle of cornfields. And my wife and children and I go visit them on our family vacations.
Fortune Feimster
I love it.
Tig Notaro
So. Yeah. Anyway, any hoozles?
Fortune Feimster
You having a good day?
Tig Notaro
I am. I've been out of town and I have this thing that's a blessing and a curse. My assistant set up a slideshow on my laptop, so when it goes to sleep or whatever, it just plays all the hits.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Of photos.
Tig Notaro
And it is so nice to be able to see my family and cats, but it also am like, get me home.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah.
Tig Notaro
Get me home. So that's been an interesting new part of my touring life is I am. Because I. I mean, how often do you really scroll through your photos or videos? Or maybe you do not.
Fortune Feimster
Not often.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And so having that on my comp is so, so nice. So, yeah, I've been gone, I don't know, almost two weeks maybe, and got home yesterday, and then Stephanie and I went to a dinner last night, and then this morning we. Finn went to camp, and then we went to a movie with Max. I saw him.
Fortune Feimster
Huh. What movie?
Tig Notaro
That new Spielberg movie.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah. How was.
Tig Notaro
Was good. Max loved it.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I mean, aliens and all sorts of stuff. He was just, like, digging it.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But I hadn't seen a movie since Forrest Gump a few months ago.
Fortune Feimster
Wow. Well, that's cool. I love. Y' all went to. Yeah, because it's in the theater. So you went to the movies?
Tig Notaro
Yeah, we went to the movies.
Fortune Feimster
I love going to the movies.
Tig Notaro
Oh, well, we should have invited you. I was.
Fortune Feimster
I was available.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. That's been. The day is like, when they each have camp, the other one get. Has a free week and then gets special day and special time.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. So one on one time, you mean, or two on one?
Tig Notaro
However. The numbers, however, shake out. Yeah. Yeah. I'm home for, I think, until Saturday, and then I go off again for, like a week.
Fortune Feimster
But anyway, love that.
Tig Notaro
All is good. What about yourself?
Fortune Feimster
I'm good. I just filmed something. I don't think I can say what it was yet, but it. It requires you to eat food.
Tig Notaro
Oh,
Fortune Feimster
was it good? It's food I normally like, but they amp it up a lot.
Tig Notaro
Okay.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, my stomach's just in a little bit of a, like, rumble rumble.
Tig Notaro
Like it. Like you had too much or.
Fortune Feimster
No, it. It does something to your palate that messes you up.
Tig Notaro
Okay. And when do you imagine. Did they say you should be good by this time or you should be?
Fortune Feimster
I think it affects everybody's body differently.
Tig Notaro
Okay. All right. Okay.
Fortune Feimster
Well, yeah, tomorrow maybe.
Tig Notaro
If you get a good rumble. Can you move the mic down and
Fortune Feimster
so you can hear it? Yeah, I'll let you in on that.
Tig Notaro
Thank you. Did you have a good time taping?
Fortune Feimster
I had a very good time. We're doing Pressure now for the Hawk, that's coming out mid July, the golf show with Will Ferrell. So I was filming this with him and Jimmy Tatro, who's in the show as well.
Tig Notaro
Awesome.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. So it's a good day other than my tummies.
Tig Notaro
And that show also has Molly Shannon, right?
Fortune Feimster
It does, but she. I don't know if she's out of town, but she didn't. She was, I think, asked to do this, but didn't do it. But I think, yeah, she might be out of town, but.
Tig Notaro
Or she's just riding her bike around my neighborhood.
Fortune Feimster
She might be doing that, too, but we're about to all, for, like, two weeks in July, be doing a bunch of press together.
Tig Notaro
Well, gear up. Yeah, I'm sure it's a massive press tour.
Fortune Feimster
I think so. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah.
Allstate Ad Voice 2
Cool.
Fortune Feimster
So the people have to check it out when it comes out. Little cowboys in two of the episodes, I believe.
Ruth (Listener)
Oh, really?
Tig Notaro
I thought it was just one. That's great.
Fortune Feimster
I think it. Well, maybe it's one, but I thought it stretched out to two. I'm not sure. Don't quote. Don't quote me on that.
Tig Notaro
I quote you all the time.
Fortune Feimster
What? Should we get to some questions?
Tig Notaro
Yeah, let's get to some questions.
Ryan (Listener)
Hi, handsomes, this is Ryan. Love the pod. Love you guys. Funny little story is that my wife and I separately got into your podcast and. And kept it secret from each other because we didn't think it was a podcast the other would enjoy. And then we both found out that, oh, we both love it, so we're enjoying it all. Question for you. This is a question I ask lots of people in my life. If you had to summarize how to live a handsome and good life in a single word, what would that word be and why? Like, give me an explanation of what's it all about.
Fortune Feimster
Wait, so if you could live a handsome, good life.
Tig Notaro
Wait, I think we use one word to describe a handsome and good life.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I would. My immediate thought was openness.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
Tig Notaro
Because if you're open about who you are, if your communication is open with people, if you are open to change, and I don't know. That just. That was the first word that struck me, and I feel like when everything's cleared out and open. Yeah, you can be who you are and you can do your thing.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I like that. That's a good one, Tig.
Tig Notaro
Thank you, Fortune. Let's hear your good one.
Fortune Feimster
The word that came to mind for me was authenticity. Living your life.
Tig Notaro
Open.
Fortune Feimster
Open. But, yeah, being who you are. Being true to yourself.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Being, you know, just like, not living your life for other people and not always feeling like you have to do what's expected of you based on pressure or norms or anything, you're just, like, staying true to your own beliefs and what makes you happy, but, you know, also being a good person. But, yeah, I think that, you know, that song I Did It My Way kind of makes me think of that.
Tig Notaro
You wrote that?
Fortune Feimster
I did write that. I went back in time.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And you did it your way and
Fortune Feimster
I did it my way. Gave it to Frank Sinatra.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I remember that day.
Fortune Feimster
I did it my way.
Tig Notaro
Such a good song.
Fortune Feimster
Some more tunes for you.
Tig Notaro
I love that. He and his wife secretly listened to Handsome. See, that's the importance of being open. That's right. Openness.
Allstate Ad Voice
Did.
Fortune Feimster
That's right. I like that.
Tig Notaro
I'm going to bring it full circle. That's what I do well. And a whole full circle is open. Should we go to our next just, like, butthole.
Fortune Feimster
Sorry.
Tig Notaro
That's okay. It's really okay this time. Fortune Marie. It's okay.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, there's a. I had to tell you, a listener of Handsome crocheted me a cute little. I don't.
Tig Notaro
Pair of underpants.
Fortune Feimster
No, that's Pontis crocheted.
Allstate Ad Voice
This little.
Fortune Feimster
It's, like, in the shape of, like, a picture. It's framed, and it says, Fortune, Marie, exclamation mark. And it's got, like, flowers around it. And I put it on my new bar cart.
Tig Notaro
That is so cute.
Fortune Feimster
It made me laugh. The thought of, like, I have three bourbons and then that sign, and it made me think, like, fortune, Marie, are you really gonna have a dream?
Allstate Ad Voice
Fortune, Marie, don't drink.
Fortune Feimster
Not that I ever. I'm not a big drinker. I like a drink.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
But it just gave me a good chuckle to think that this sign is yelling at me to drink response.
Tig Notaro
Fortune, Marie, don't drink too much and then drive your bar cart around the house.
Fortune Feimster
That's right. So thank you to that handsome listener for that cute little Fortunerie.
Tig Notaro
There's so many handsome listeners on my tour, on all of our tours. It's wild. Wild.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Ryan (Listener)
For me, what I think of to live a good life is kindness. I think that makes everything work better. If you're kind to the people around you, good things will come your way. If you're kind to yourself, you'll be fulfilled. And at the end of the day, kindness beats everything else. All right. Thanks so much. Love you guys a lot. Fortune. We get to see you in a couple days in Portland, Maine. Very excited for it.
Tig Notaro
Awesome. I love that. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Kindness is good.
Tig Notaro
Kindness, as long as not a terrible thing. Authentic and open.
Fortune Feimster
That's right.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
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Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that my smartwatch is charged before I go out on a walk.
Fortune Feimster
Error alert.
Allstate Ad Voice 2
I'm trying to take a step back from technology and not bring my phone everywhere. But now I'm unreachable, and I don't even know what Time it is.
Allstate Ad Voice
Yeah. Checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
Tig Notaro
What else we got on the docket?
Allstate Ad Voice 2
The Dyke. It.
Fortune Feimster
Nice one.
Tig Notaro
Thank you. I still got it.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, you do.
Ruth (Listener)
Hi, Tig. And.
Fortune Feimster
Or.
Ruth (Listener)
Fortune. And. Or May. My name is Ruth. I am in North Carolina, and I desperately need your advice. So for Context, I am 33 years old, and I just finished my PhD last year, and I moved to North Carolina for a job that is perfect for me. Like, I really enjoy it. It really uses my skill sets well. It uses my PhD. It's great. However, the location I'm in is. Is not ideal. Like, I'm not very socially fulfilled. There's not a large queer community. It's not great. And previous to this, I was living in Boston, which I loved, and I started dating someone that easily could have been the love of my life. But then I got this job and moved to North Carolina, so we broke up. And so now I'm just like, what. What? Are. Are we living to work or are we working to live? And is that something that has changed for you all? Do you consciously think about it? Give me your advice. It could very easily change the course of my life, so no pressure. All right.
Tig Notaro
Thank you, guys. What do you think?
Fortune Feimster
I think you've been bitter about that lately. Right. Finding the balance.
Tig Notaro
You know, I was just talking about this at that dinner last night, about how I have been trying, and then I can't. It's so tricky because it's like I made serious changes and shifted things in my life, and then it happened to overlap with the success of the documentary, which made me so busy, you know, and so I didn't fully experience that.
Fortune Feimster
Right.
Tig Notaro
But I used to plow through and towards. Plow through my material and my tour and trying to get to the next thing, and I just. That's where it's really changed for me. Like, I'm just taking it much slower. I'm. I'm just doing a weekend a month, which I just used to not do at all.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And so that feels. That feels good. But I. I'm curious to see how this new year come, you know, like, what. What's coming? Because if I maintain that and podcasting, that's a pretty sweet gig. And the popping in and out of movies and TV shows, I'm all about it. Yeah, that is that feels like a schedule I can work with. And it. But it's not anything I fully experienced yet because of the wonderful success of the documentary. So I don't know if I can. I don't know. I don't know the answer.
Allstate Ad Voice 2
Right.
Tig Notaro
But you are from North Carolina, so I feel like you're holding the key.
Allstate Ad Voice
Oh.
Tig Notaro
To Ruth's future.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I think when you're younger, that is the time to sort of take those risks in regards to career because you want to set your life up in a way where it's comfortable. Hopefully you've done some hard work and so at some point in your life, you can take it easier and enjoy the fruits of that labor. That's kind of how I look at it. I don't know. It makes me bummed for Ruth about that relationship that, like, yeah, could have been the, you know, that person. There was clearly a strong connection there that could have been the love of her life. So I would. I would have been like, what could
Tig Notaro
that have still worked, like, and maybe it will down the road.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, maybe it's kind of like, well, why not give that long distance thing a go? I've done it in the past and some, you know, I don't know, I always kind of think, like, give it a whirl. Same. Same as, like, taking risk with work. Why not take risk there as well? And if it becomes a thing that's like, oh, this isn't working, then, you know, you've gone down that road. But, you know, with work, I'm certainly not one to give advice because I work all the time, but I work all the time because I don't work to live. I genuinely love my work. It brings me a great deal of joy. I've probably had some things in my life fall apart maybe because of that commitment to that work, but I got fulfilled in that way. Going on the road, doing shows, filming something, taping a podcast. My cup felt full because I was doing something I love. But sometimes other people's cup feels not as full because you're not around. And so, yeah, I think there are sacrifices that come with it when you've sort of dedicated your life to a certain thing. So you just have to kind of decide what is important to you is. Is do you love your work so much that you're willing to sacrifice some of those things for it, or if does that. Do you feel empty in that you've. You're working a lot and you're not being fulfilled by that and it's affecting your Personal life. Does that make sense?
Tig Notaro
Yeah, I mean, Ruth was saying she really loves her job. And so it does feel like something to. Towards for a beat, see how that. I don't know how long Ruth. Maybe I wasn't listening, but I don't know how Ruth is. How long Ruth has been at this job. But the other thing that I always like to tell people to do is if you're not meeting friends or romantic interests in your day to day life, switch up the route that you take. Go to different places, go to find a whole new coffee shop, become a regular there, find a new restaurant, find a new park to walk your dog. Just make yourself available. Because I always think of all of the different lives and worlds I could have started if I had just gone left, you know, and. And then all of a sudden you see your town in a whole different way.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I've had. I've had my course change significantly because I decided to go to one thing instead of another thing.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So you truly never know. But I think even, even I would say with work, you're young enough to like, be focused on your work and have that be a priority. But maybe like also like, I don't know what you're into, Ruth, but like say you are into tennis or soccer. Like join a league once a week so that you have, you know, something outside of work that. That you have to look forward to. I played soccer in A league for 15 years. Before COVID it was every Monday night. And that was like my sacred time for me. Like, I let no work things get in the way of it ever. And I like really loved having that thing for myself.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
So whatever that thing might be for you, I would, I would maybe also, you know, put that into your routine as well, Ruth.
Tig Notaro
Sounds like you have a soccer career coming your way or something. Let us know how it goes.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, whatever you're into, Ruth, find it so that you have balance.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Go get them, Ruth.
Fortune Feimster
Ruth, you got this.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And who knows what is ahead of for you in the love department. Nice North Carolina gal out there.
Tig Notaro
Well, thank you for the questions. They're always a delight to hear. And submit questions and advice requests to speakpipe.com handsomepod yeah, do that.
Fortune Feimster
Us up, y'.
Ruth (Listener)
All.
Fortune Feimster
We like to hear what you got to say.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, hit us up. And also, I have new dates added to tignotaro.com. head over there, get your tickets and come see me in the flesh.
Fortune Feimster
Yes, same here. I'm doing a lot of fun shows coming up in August up in the Northeast like Provincetown and West Hampton beach and Foxwood casinos and Red Bank, New Jersey. Get on it.
Tig Notaro
Mm. And until next time, keep it pretty. Handsome Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin and Fortune Theme ster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handsomepodmail.com Follow us on social media nsomepod what a podcast Podcast.
Allstate Ad Voice
What a podcast
Ruth (Listener)
that was a hit.
Tig Notaro
Gum podcast.
Allstate Ad Voice
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if there's a museum in the town I'm visiting. Now I've got regrets. I love history and so when I missed a chance to check out some old treasures, the trip was tarnished.
Allstate Ad Voice 2
Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster (Mae Martin is not present this episode)
In this “Pretty Little Episode,” Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster bring their trademark chemistry and humor to questions from listeners about living a handsome and good life and finding balance between work, life, and love. The episode weaves in personal stories, playful banter, and practical wisdom, all with the show’s signature warmth and lightheartedness.
Show-and-Tell—Workspace Essentials
Tig’s Return Home and Family Life
Fortune’s Secret Filming Food Show
Listener Ryan asks:
"If you had to summarize how to live a handsome and good life in a single word, what would it be and why?"
Tig’s Word: “Openness” ([08:01])
Fortune’s Word: “Authenticity” ([08:37])
“Being, you know, just like, not living your life for other people and not always feeling like you have to do what’s expected of you based on pressure or norms or anything, you’re just, like, staying true to your own beliefs and what makes you happy…that song ‘I Did It My Way’ kind of makes me think of that.” — Fortune Feimster (08:56–09:25)
Tig and Fortune playfully riff about Fortune being the composer of “My Way.” (09:25–09:45)
Ryan’s Word: “Kindness” ([11:35])
“If you’re kind to the people around you, good things will come your way. If you’re kind to yourself, you’ll be fulfilled. And at the end of the day, kindness beats everything else.” — Ryan, Listener (11:36–12:02)
Tig ties the words together: “Kindness, as long as not a terrible thing. Authentic and open.” (12:06)
Listener Ruth asks:
After moving for her dream job (but sacrificing a relationship and queer community), should she prioritize work or life fulfillment? “Are we living to work or working to live?”
Tig on Changing Perspectives and Balance
Fortune’s Take: Take Risks While Young, But Consider the Big Picture
Tig’s Practical Advice for Social Fulfillment
More Balancing Strategies
| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------|-------------| | Office Chit-chat & Family Stories | 01:00–05:00 | | Fortune’s Secret Food Filming & Upcoming Show | 05:00–07:12 | | Listener Ryan’s “Handsome Life in One Word” | 07:12–12:11 | | Listener Ruth’s Work vs. Life Fulfillment | 13:02–21:12 | | Final Encouragements & Tour Plugs | 21:12–21:56 |
This episode revolves around thoughtful, comedic reflection on how to build a life that feels both handsome and satisfying—highlighting openness, authenticity, and kindness. The hosts’ advice is grounded in honesty and experience: take risks while you can, seek balance, and remember to pursue interests outside of work. Listener stories and occasional goofiness tie it all together, delivering heartfelt encouragement and real laughter.
Notable Listener Advice:
Ryan, Listener: “At the end of the day, kindness beats everything else.” (11:36)
Ruth, Listener: Looking for life balance after a big move—advised to blend career risk-taking with practical ways to build a joyful, socially fulfilling life.
For more Handsome content, episode questions, and tour info—visit tignotaro.com or follow @handsomepod. Submit questions via speakpipe.com/handsomepod.