Samara Weaving asks about unhinged moments

Summary

Handsome – "Samara Weaving Asks About Unhinged Moments"

Podcast Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Guest Question Asker: Samara Weaving
Release Date: June 30, 2026

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Overview

In this uproarious, candid episode of "Handsome," comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin reunite to answer a question from their friend, Australian actor Samara Weaving: “What is the most unhinged thing you’ve ever done?” What unfolds is a blend of outrageous storytelling, confessional laughs, and warm camaraderie, as each host reveals wildly different definitions of “unhinged” — from tantric adventures to high school toilet-papering and acts of low-grade teenage “stalking.” There’s also room for harmonica theft, oil wrestling invitations, and a recurring thread of Alanis Morissette-related antics. Buckle up for oversharing, supportive banter, and a fair bit of giggling as the trio explore what it means to truly let loose.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up and Recent Escapades (02:00–07:00)

• Travel Stories: Tig recounts her recent show in Kalispell, Montana, marveling at how late it stays light—"It doesn't get dark until 10 or 10:30, something like that." (03:15)
• Mae's Nighttime Habits: Mae describes bingeing survival-based reality shows with an impressive list of snacks—“Sun Chips, Oreos, an ice cream sandwich, birthday cake flavored…” (04:06)
• Parallel Parking Fails: Mae humorously shares struggles parking in Venice: “I was bumping both cars on either side of me repeatedly trying to cowboy. I couldn't get in.” (05:13)

2. Alanis Morissette: The Show’s Unexpected Through-Line (07:00–16:00)

• Tig’s Alanis Connection: Tig receives a bizarre video message via Patty Guggenheim, supposedly from Alanis Morissette but featuring Taylor Dayne, setting off confusion and laughter.
  • “All I could think is another connection with Alanis that Mae didn’t have.” (08:26)
• Mae’s Alanis Moment: Mae receives a harmonica that Alanis uses on tour, courtesy of a tech guy at Largo—though Alanis did not intentionally bestow it:
  • "I put [the harmonica] in my hand, I felt a jolt of energy...It feels like an artifact from a saint.” (11:06)
• Fortune’s Stage With Alanis: Fortune recalls sharing the stage, describing how “she provides such a soul connection...I had a tear roll down my face after locking eyes with her.” (16:43)

3. The Question: Most Unhinged Moment? (36:48 – 61:46)

Samara Weaving’s Voicemail (37:07–37:43)

• Samara, in her bright Australian accent, asks:
  • “What is the most unhinged thing you’ve ever done? You know, where you’re going, this wouldn’t say I’ve lost my mind, but I did it…” (37:07)

Mae Martin’s Revelations (38:33–51:47)

• Nepal Massage Story:
  • First “unhinged” adventure: At 19, Mae receives an erotic massage in Nepal — “He ended up going down on me. That was...from behind, guys. I was face down.” (40:39)
  • The masseuse asks consent: “‘This too, sometimes also good. Is it okay?’” (41:55, Mae Martin quoting the masseuse)
• Tantric Hotel Room Saga:
  • On tour, books a massage via app, meets a “giant man,” ends up having tantric sex for three and a half hours:
    • “This was the most amazing massage of my life...I start breathing in sync with him...I was like, please let me take you to my bed.” (46:31–48:06)
  • Describes wrestling with post-event guilt, questioning if shame is inherited from society: “I objectively just had one of the best times of my life...Those days might be through for me.” (51:17)

Tig Notaro’s Story (52:02–54:36)

• Shares a middle school "unhinged" moment:
  • After being sent out of science class, Tig toilet-papers the school with friends during class hours:
    • “We went into the bathroom, grabbed all of this toilet paper...during school hours...just toilet papering the trees and bushes.” (52:04)
  • “I lived my life as a kid thinking, like, I'm not killing anybody...is it murder? If not, then fine.” (53:47)

Fortune Feimster’s Story (54:39–58:16)

• Lonely Teenage Drives:
  • Fortune describes "stalking" her own friends by driving past their houses when left out of plans:
    • “Sometimes I would be included in things and sometimes I wouldn’t...So I would just drive by my friends’ houses, just to see…” (54:39)
  • Admits heart pounding from the surreptitious nature—“I did actually drive past a friend once...she lived on a dead end street. She was like, ‘What are you doing?’” (55:49)
• "Wild Night" With Stripper: Hosting an 18th birthday party with a stripper featuring a “pointed, crooked wiener” and “acne on his butt” (57:08) is her peak unhinged night. She also recounts crawling at a party in a Hooters outfit (58:05).

Reflections on Oversharing (58:19–58:52)

• Mae expresses some embarrassment about her candidness:
  • “I shouldn't have regret about sharing that, you think?” (58:19)
• Fortune and Tig reassure her:
  • “There’s no judgment zone. We laugh because we’re a silly pod.” (50:49)
  • "We support your endeavors, because you’re good and you’re safe.” (51:13)

4. Samara Weaving’s Own Unhinged Moment (58:59–61:12)

• The Walnut Cookie Incident:
  • Out of frustration with her husband's “picky eating,” Samara grinds up walnuts and secretly puts them in his dinner to prove he’s not allergic:
    • “Watched him eat it like a creep. And then when he finished, I waited like 10, 15, he was…and then I went, ‘Ha! You’re not allergic to walnuts!’” (60:30)
  • Admits the act is “not in line with my principles as a professor...I was mad, I went insane...I went unhinged.” (59:28–61:01)
• Hosts react with delighted horror, acknowledging it’s genuinely unhinged but also trusting her intuition.

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Memorable Quotes

• Mae Martin (On the Alanis harmonica):
  • “If you’ve ever had any belief in, like, mysticism or energy...it feels like an artifact from a saint.” (11:06)
• Tig Notaro (On being sent out of class):
  • “Why would you send the kids that are acting that way in class out into the hallway to sit alone?” (54:29)
• Fortune Feimster (On driving by friends’ houses):
  • “I was like, I want to hang out. No one’s asking me to hang out tonight...” (54:39)
• Mae Martin (On her tantric encounter):
  • “I was like, please let me take you to my bed, and he was like, ‘Okay.’ I took him by the hand, took him to my bed, really took control.” (48:06)
• Samara Weaving (On the walnut dinner incident):
  • “Watched him eat it like a creep...then I went, ‘Ha! You’re not allergic to walnuts!’” (60:30)
• Tig Notaro (On the range of unhinged):
  • “Boy, did we all have very different levels of unhinged.” (56:47)

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Other Noteworthy & Fun Segments

• Mae’s Upcoming Event: Mae is set to emcee a lesbian oil wrestling event in LA on July 3rd. “Can Parvati and I co-emcee?...And can we also wrestle?” (32:20)
• Fortune’s “Tits Out Hot Tub” & New Sauna: Fortune discusses fixing her hot tub (“We need a nips in hot tub...But I think I’ll still call it the tits out hot tub”) and installing an infrared sauna — promising to invite Tig and Mae for a group sauna session. (26:01–28:32)
• On Confidence and Stage Presence: After pulling an audience question that simply reads “BE MORE CONFIDENT!!!”, the trio reflect on performing vulnerability and why self-deprecation connects them to fans (13:13–14:09).

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Important Timestamps

• [07:07] — Tig’s Alanis / Taylor Dayne confusion
• [11:06] — Mae describes the energy of Alanis’s harmonica
• [37:07] — Samara Weaving’s voicemail/question
• [38:33] — Mae signals the wild massage stories are coming
• [46:31] — Mae describes tantric hotel massage adventure
• [52:04] — Tig’s high school toilet-papering story
• [54:39] — Fortune’s teenage “stalking” by car
• [58:59] — Samara’s walnut-cookie confession
• [60:30] — “Watched him eat it like a creep...‘Ha! You’re not allergic!’”
• [61:46] — Hosts reflect on the new depths (and heights) reached in their sharing

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Tone & Energy

The episode is raucous, playful, confessional, and warm—highlighting the trio’s trust in one another and their willing self-exposure (especially from Mae). Candid stories are met with rapid-fire jokes, genuine curiosity, and affirming support. While wild anecdotes spark shock and laughter, the hosts circle back to themes of self-acceptance, non-judgment, and humor in the face of vulnerability.

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For New Listeners

This episode encapsulates what makes "Handsome" unique: comedians feeling safe enough with each other (and their audience) to allow sincere, sometimes deeply personal, sometimes just plain goofy stories to flow. If you wondered what “unhinged” looks like through the eyes of three different comics (plus one Australian movie star)—this is the one to check out.

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Closing Note:
If you want to see Mae and Parvati potentially oil-wrestle, learn more about harmonica energy transfer, or simply delight in mutual embarrassment, keep it Handsome — and tune in to the next laugh-filled episode.

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Transcript

[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Handsome. Chatting with friends on the Handsome pod.

[May Martin]

Chatting with friends on the Handsome pot.

[Tig Notaro]

Cheers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Welcome to the two Handsome.

[Tig Notaro]

We're only three years into this.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's it.

[Tig Notaro]

That does. That doesn't make sense, does it?

[Samara Weaving]

That's.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's Tig Notaro over there.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yes, I'm Tig Notaro and that's Fortune Feimstra over there.

[May Martin]

And I'm May Martin.

[Tig Notaro]

Yep, you're there too.

[Fortune Feimster]

He's like, I got this. I'll handle this on my own.

[May Martin]

I'll take this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hi, you guys.

[Tig Notaro]

Hi.

[May Martin]

How are you?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm so good. I'm on the road with my drive thru headset.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Can I take your order?

[May Martin]

You're still in Toronto? Take.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I am. I did a show in Kalispell, Montana.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, it's pretty up there.

[Tig Notaro]

It's really pretty. And it's also really bright out until very late. Oh, yeah. When I got out of my show at 9 o' clock. It was birth chirping. Yeah, it was just bright as the day and I was so confused and I was so tired. But yeah, it doesn't get dark until

[Fortune Feimster]

10 or 10:30, something like that was how it was in Stockholm. Yeah, it got dark at like 10:45 and then it was light again at like 3:00am it's wild.

[Tig Notaro]

But I slept pretty well last night.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, good.

[May Martin]

I was unconscious until about five, five minutes ago.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, really?

[May Martin]

Because I just can't fall asleep. So I, I, well, I could, but I.

[Fortune Feimster]

What are you doing at night when you're.

[May Martin]

I'm eating snacks and I'm watching Outlast at the moment, this new show. People have to survive in the jungle and. But you have to be on a team in order to get the prize money. So people are.

[Tig Notaro]

You love to watch people survive?

[May Martin]

I love to watch people survive and suffer. I just want to see people in

[Fortune Feimster]

very uncomfortable positions have to figure out how to live.

[Tig Notaro]

But more importantly, what snacks.

[May Martin]

Oh, man. I had Sun Chips, Oreos. Oh, an ice cream sandwich, birthday cake flavored. I mean, I really went to town. I went Hogwarts.

[Tig Notaro]

And is this like, how often are you having snacks watching people survive? That's such a funny thing to think of. All these people trying to survive and you're sitting at home just eating ice cream sandwiches and they're literally.

[May Martin]

They just ate a snake that they caught and it was the first protein that they'd had in days. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my gosh.

[May Martin]

It is a crazy show. No. And when I'm left to my own devices that I have a hard time making the transition from into my bed, I'll just, I'll postpone it. I'll just sit, you know. Yeah. And I, and I drove home late last night. That doesn't matter.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, no, it doesn't. But it's good to know Wired because

[May Martin]

I've been on the highway at like 11pm which is I've, I rarely do.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And it's, I makes me really electrified.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do love that you're driving now. It makes me very happy.

[Tig Notaro]

It's like, it makes me a little nervous.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like our baby grew up.

[May Martin]

I will say last night when I parked in Venice and I was like Austin Powers trying to park his little thing, I, my, I couldn't parallel park and I was bumping both cars on either side of me repeatedly trying to cowboy. I couldn't get in. I was the worst. And a guy walked by and I went, yep. And he kind of laughed at me. It looked like.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Yep.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Did I tell you guys the time when I first moved to Los Angeles and I worked at that little Frida's coffee shop, and I was standing out in the parking lot, which was very tiny. It only. I think it only fit, like three cars. And I was. This is one of those, like, moments where I'm like, my head is so far in the clouds, I can't even believe I didn't track what was happening. I was standing there talking to another comedian after. There's a Thursday night come comedy show at the coffee shop, and I'm standing outside talking to another comedian and there was this car doing that little cowboy 50 point turn trying to get out between. And I was like distracted talking to the comedian, trying to help, only to realize my car was what was in the way. Like, I could have just gotten in my car and moved it like a foot or two. And. And I made some comment to the comedian where I was like. I was like, oh, God, I hope they don't like slam into my car. And. And they were like, that's your car.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, just move it. I was like, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Guys, I have to tell you something that happened last night.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, okay.

[May Martin]

Please.

[Tig Notaro]

I get a text. Do you know the actress Patty Guggenheim?

[Fortune Feimster]

Huh? Hunter.

[May Martin]

Patty, I feel like we've talked about.

[Fortune Feimster]

He has a role in the. In the Hawk. In the golf show coming out.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah.

[Samara Weaving]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Okay. I think I do know. I'm googling now, but yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, Well, I get a text last night before I went. Night night. Yeah, Tig, it's Patty Guggenheim. I have a message for you from Alanis.

[Fortune Feimster]

No. Oh, yeah. Because Patty. Patty helped write Atlantis's stay show. Okay.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because Atlantis was doing like a Vegas thing or something.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, I don't have those details.

[Fortune Feimster]

Patty works with Alanis.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. So I'm like, what is this? And then I press on it and it's. This.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is that Taylor Dane?

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, that is Taylor Dane. Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

And that's from Alanis.

[May Martin]

That's from Alanis.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Yes. And I'm freaking out. And I said, this is hilarious. But when you say Alanis, I assume you mean Taylor Dane. And she said, ha ha ha. No. Alanis wanted me to send you this video of Taylor Dane.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And so all I could think is another connection with Alanis that Mae didn't have.

[May Martin]

Okay, but this.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is.

[May Martin]

But this is so crazy.

[Tig Notaro]

It's like she's trying to avoid you.

[May Martin]

It's like this point I like to Think of it like she's circling me like a shark and she's just picking up.

[Tig Notaro]

No, she's not.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's just a matter of avoiding your moment.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, but May's not gonna have a moment with. I'm like, trying to go to bed and Alanis is blowing up my phone through Patty Guggenheim.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is so funny. Funny.

[May Martin]

But wait, we. Fortune and I. Well, I have an Alanis update as well, so.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is crazy. That's right. You do. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

So, Fortune, can we make Alanis the fourth co host?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think we should.

[Tig Notaro]

The amount that we talk about her and Kate Muchi.

[Fortune Feimster]

And Kate Muchi. They can, like, rotate out with each

[May Martin]

other and Ginger for sure. So I get to Largo, and, you know, Fortune's doing my Largo show two nights ago. And the tech guy at Largo, he and I have talked about Alanis before. He tours with her sometimes, and he does guitar tech and things like that. And so he goes, I got something for you, kid. And then he brings this plastic bag into the. And at first it's like just pics and stickers. And I was like, oh, cool. From the Atlantis tour. That's so cool. Then he produces this.

[Tig Notaro]

What is this?

[May Martin]

This is a small box harmonica. Yes, it's the harmonica that she plays on tour for the song. One hand in my pocket.

[Tig Notaro]

And let me tell you.

[Fortune Feimster]

And is she now like, where's my harmonica?

[Tig Notaro]

She's blown her spit into that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Someone stole my harmonica.

[Tig Notaro]

I know Martin stole my harmonica.

[May Martin]

Well, I was like. I thought, oh, she gifted this to me. Like, did you talk to her? And he goes, no, I just. I asked around and just took it from the drawer. And I guess they have hundreds of them. But she's played this on stage and it says, hand in my pocket. But listen, even if it wasn't labeled, if you've ever had any belief in, like, mysticism or energy. No, if it wasn't labeled, I would still. When I put in my hand, I felt a jolt of energy.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's powerful.

[Tig Notaro]

Also, keep in mind she did not give that to you.

[May Martin]

I think she would sanction.

[Tig Notaro]

I would love it if she were listening to this right now, being like, oh, and she.

[Jeff Tremaine]

What?

[May Martin]

Why she sues me?

[Fortune Feimster]

Why is my harmonica there?

[May Martin]

Can I. Can I play?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm looking for that thing.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, but that's my favorite one. Alanis blew her spit into that, though.

[May Martin]

I know. It's like we're kissing and she would have run. She would have run back and forth on stage. You've seen how she plays Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Harmonica.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, you're telling me she ran across the stage? Stage with that in her hand.

[Fortune Feimster]

She, like, plays it while she's, like, you know, running around. As someone who's been on stage with her.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And I'm listening because I'm someone who

[May Martin]

cares about your friend.

[Tig Notaro]

Text from her.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Through a mutual friend.

[Fortune Feimster]

She does play it as she goes across the stage.

[May Martin]

Can I.

[Fortune Feimster]

Confident walking, hair flowing back.

[May Martin]

You know what? I used it. My parents used to. We used to go to Greece a lot in the summer, and there was a church there that had, like, an artifact from a saint. It had, like, the old skeleton toe of Saint Spiritan, and it had an energy. And this feels like an artifact from a saint. Like, it feels like.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love it. May, a saint who did that?

[Tig Notaro]

Sounds like her. Okay, don't get her. Can you get up and run around?

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

While you do it?

[Fortune Feimster]

In my pocket, it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Samara Weaving]

Go to.

[Tig Notaro]

Go to Hulu. Go to Hulu right now.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love this for you. I think it's going to just take you into a new realm of.

[Tig Notaro]

May's headphones weren't on when we were saying that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, by the way, during that same ships. During that same show, T. Yes. For it was the most incredible moment because May has a thing where people will ask questions, and May pulls out stuff.

[May Martin]

Like a question. Yeah, with the audience writes questions.

[Fortune Feimster]

Flanny was just like, feel free to pull out anything if you want at any point. I was like, oh, really? Aren't they for May? And he's like, yeah, just pull one out. I'm like, okay. And so I go on stage, I do a few jokes, and then I pull one out, and it says, be more confident.

[May Martin]

I'm like, jesus, be more confident.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, what does that mean?

[Fortune Feimster]

They were telling me to be more confident, but it was like all caps with all these exclamation marks. And I was like, holy shit.

[May Martin]

Like, this is like, stop yelling at me. You know, also, I. I'm always like, I know maybe I have some vulnerability,

[Tig Notaro]

but, like, I've never seen it.

[May Martin]

You couldn't go on stage if you weren't confident. You know, I'm like, there's gotta be

[Fortune Feimster]

something you couldn't do half of.

[Tig Notaro]

So from here on out. Oh, all of our fans and listeners need to accept us for exactly who we are.

[May Martin]

Oh, I like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we accept you exactly for who you are. And let's just move forward with that.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think they just are. I think they're just probably really Into May and just, you know, See, I think this mental deprecation sometimes as.

[May Martin]

But I have a feeling if I actually was super confident my career would

[Samara Weaving]

end,

[May Martin]

like, they wouldn't like it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think you're doing just fine.

[Tig Notaro]

We all bring a little something special.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, that's right.

[May Martin]

Okay. I hope that Alanis doesn't get mad that I have this.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's furious. She's probably.

[Tig Notaro]

No, she's gonna call the police.

[Fortune Feimster]

Laughing if anything, because it's pretty funny.

[May Martin]

Oh, man.

[Tig Notaro]

She's gonna call the Canadian police that don't carry guns. Right.

[May Martin]

Be the Mounties. They're going to come on their horses.

[Fortune Feimster]

She'll probably reach out to Tig and talk about it.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. She'll be like, how do you deal with that person?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I'm going to text Patty and I'm going to be like, guess what? May stole Alanis's harmonica.

[Fortune Feimster]

Pass it on.

[Tig Notaro]

And it's confidently dancing around their office.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just love that Alanis is the. The through line of the handsome pod.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And I was also. So I, I was. I. It gave me a weird, incorrect window into Patty where I was like, how out of touch is Patty that she thinks Taylor Dane is Alanis Morissette?

[May Martin]

Oh, you thought she just got the wrong.

[Tig Notaro]

I thought she was like, oh, look at Alanis Morissette. And I was like, this is not Alanis Morissette.

[May Martin]

But also, that means Alanis really has a knowledge of your.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right. That's a Tig classic.

[Tig Notaro]

That's a Tig classic. And I'm very familiar with Alanis's work.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you are.

[May Martin]

Hell, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I don't have her harmonica yet.

[May Martin]

I mean, I'm just relieved she doesn't have your number to send you that directly.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I'm gonna get it.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're gonna make sure that Alanis has our phone number.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I'm gonna reach out to Patty. I'll say, pass these digits along to Alanis.

[May Martin]

I just want. If Alanis is listening, I want her to know she is.

[Fortune Feimster]

What up, girl?

[May Martin]

I just want her to know. It's. I wouldn't be weird. Like, I, I, I, I, you know,

[Tig Notaro]

like, you're proving yourself wrong already.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I know. I promise you it won't be weird.

[May Martin]

I won't be weird. Dude.

[Tig Notaro]

That's like people that are like, I'm not a stalker. I'm not.

[Ad Read Voice]

I'm not.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm like, I'm not.

[May Martin]

And you're like, okay, I don't.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't fly off the handle.

[May Martin]

I just think that we would get along. We have a lot in common. And yes, she is like my, my Robert plant, my, my Zeus in a way. She said a God. I mean that wouldn't make me weird. I'm. I would be really fun. Cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, again, as someone who's been on stage with her, I can attest that I, I. She provides such a soul connection when you look into her eyes that I had a tear roll. I'm not joking. Tear rolled on my face after locking eyes with her. She's a. I'm telling you, she's crying. A powerful woman.

[Tig Notaro]

I was crying when I got her indirect text to Patty Guggenheim of. You know, Alanis's footage of Taylor Dane sent to me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I wonder where Taylor was performing.

[May Martin]

Yeah, some awards show or something.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it was an award show.

[May Martin]

It blows my mind that Alanis owns a phone. It doesn't feel like, it feels like she would communicate telepathically.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh my God too.

[May Martin]

The other funny moment from the also

[Tig Notaro]

revealed that you would not be a normal friend. If you can't even imagine that this woman would have a phone.

[May Martin]

I'm sending her smoke signals. Yeah,

[Fortune Feimster]

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking for handsome fan art. When I check social media missed opportunity. Nothing puts a smile on my face like seeing the art y' all make out of our silliness. So why am I watching videos about horseshoes instead?

[Ad Read Voice]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[May Martin]

reaching for every day.

[Ad Read Voice]

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[May Martin]

Quince.comhandsome the other funny part of the Largo night was so Fortune arrived after the show had started. So I was on stage and Fortune was going to be on first and then did her set. So funny. Such a great set. And then later in the show I was on stage and I felt this like presence in the wings and I look over and like Flanny and Michael

[Fortune Feimster]

and Lars staring at me.

[Tig Notaro]

And these are all people that work at.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that work at go.

[Fortune Feimster]

And fortunately staring May down hardcore looming in the wings.

[May Martin]

And so I'm like, did I do something wrong? What's happening? And then they just come out in Fortune's like, I have to go. So we should do the photo now and just take the photo on. It was really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

They were like, May really wants a picture. And I was like, I have to be up at 4am and they were

[May Martin]

like, they said, May really wants a picture with you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or of all everyone.

[Tig Notaro]

I wasn't like, sounds like May.

[May Martin]

If I know May guys, I won't be weird. Just a picture of me.

[Fortune Feimster]

And for you know how they do the group picture in the beginning.

[May Martin]

And, yeah, it's nice to have.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I was like, well, I'm happy to do a picture, but Ma on stage. And then they were like. I was like, what if I just stand in the wings and do a thumbs up with May in the background? I thought that was a good option.

[May Martin]

That would have been great.

[Fortune Feimster]

And they were like. Or we just, like. You just go out there and take a picture. I'm like, sad.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

I said, well, not. They almost went during. You were full on talking about something. I go, let's, like, wait for applause.

[May Martin]

Thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

But what if the applause never came?

[Fortune Feimster]

No applause. But the applause for sure is coming.

[May Martin]

It was fun.

[Fortune Feimster]

They had a really good crowd.

[May Martin]

It cracked me up.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

May is beloved.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[May Martin]

Largo audiences are just so nice always.

[Tig Notaro]

It's funny because there's certain comedians and performers that get so nervous to perform at Largo.

[Samara Weaving]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, really?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

People are like, I find it to be the best place.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, it's so great. But I feel like it has this,

[May Martin]

like, lore or something or.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. Where people are like, God, I'm. I can't believe I'm at Largo. I don't. You know, I feel like this audience might be, like, too, like, snobby or sophisticated. Oh, I mean, yeah, they're. They're. They're such a great audience. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I felt super, like, starstruck by that venue. When I first moved to la, I think I'd seen Flanny, the owner. I'd seen him interviewed in, like, Elliot Smith documentaries and stuff about Elliot Smith. I was like, yeah, yeah. It blew my mind. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a cool place. It lives up to the height of your life.

[May Martin]

I got home that night, or I went to Parvs, I think, that night. Then I told Parv. Your entire set. Fortune, word for word in your. In your accent, because for. She loves the ginger anecdote. She loves. So I did, like, the whole set. And we were crying, laughing at your set.

[Tig Notaro]

That's amazing.

[May Martin]

It was great.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's so cool.

[May Martin]

I love that you were talking about your European trip with her and. Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And is that going to be part of your new material or is it just like an anecdote that you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. I. I went on stay because I didn't have a lot of new stuff to work out. And I hate, like, missing an opportunity to do a set and not put something in there new. So I just kind of chatted about it up top and I was like, there might be Something here I could because I do a whole bit about taking my mom on a gay cruise. So I feel like those things could be tied in.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where I'm going to Europe, there's some.

[May Martin]

I mean, you gotta tell about the, the carry on luggage. Being a Trader Joe's cooler bag is really good.

[Tig Notaro]

A whole hour on your mother. You could do a one woman show about ginger. You should call it Ginge

[Fortune Feimster]

Ging.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, people would talk about her a ton. I know, but like you could actually do a whole hour show that would be like in her honor and people would just devour that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But I'll produce it anyway.

[Fortune Feimster]

By the way, I just got a, I got a sauna because I want to be like, maybe, dude, sauna.

[May Martin]

Have you used it?

[Fortune Feimster]

And the title hot tub is being fixed. There's a lot going on.

[May Martin]

I knew.

[Tig Notaro]

So you went with fixing the hot tub and not your tits.

[May Martin]

You didn't, you didn't want to lower your tits?

[Fortune Feimster]

I felt it easier to do this than to fix my tits. I got a little sauna and it's infrared. I'm very excited. I haven't used it yet, but I've heard it's good for your heart health.

[May Martin]

Oh, it's good for everything. IT Inc. If you use it like four times a week, your general longevity goes up like 40%. And also maybe you could do some spells in it. That's what I do.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I don't never cast a spell.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would need your help with that. You might have to come over sometime.

[Tig Notaro]

And do you say the word spells with tits out?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, is that best?

[May Martin]

Yeah. Best to be flying free. Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, so I wasn't. Do I want to fix the T T out hot tub? I do love it. It's called a tits out hot tub. So there's that.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my God. Yeah. You could start a company for sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then the guy that's helping me do some interior design, he, he measured it and he goes, oh my God, this is, this bench is really high. I go, I know. That's why it's the tits Al hat. My tits are out. And he goes, we need a nips in hot tub. And I was like, I know. So we, we got a quote and it wasn't too bad. So they are, they lowered it quite significantly though. So the water's now going to come up to like almost my shin. But I did do a, a bench at one bench higher so that if any short people come over, they won't drown. But I think I'll still call it the tits out hot tub though.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my God. Of course.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I just love the idea of you driving a van around that says tits out hot tub by Fortune. Get out of comedy. Get into hot tubbing.

[May Martin]

It's pretty funny you had to pay for it though. The company should fix either.

[Fortune Feimster]

I had to? Yeah. I should have to pay for it because it's a personal preference and it's

[Tig Notaro]

a personal problem with your tits.

[Fortune Feimster]

And my tits are low hanging fruit. So now it's going to be nips in. It is funny though on tour how many people bring up the Tintel Hotel.

[Tig Notaro]

I bet it's.

[May Martin]

The image is really striking.

[Tig Notaro]

I was going to say there's no better thing to think about. And I'm like flying through the sky, heading to a new town. I just think about Fortune's tits out. But.

[May Martin]

So what do you get? So what kind of. Is it a barrel sauna?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, it's. It's just the box. It's a two person. It's technically three person, but there is no world in which three people would fit in that. It's. It's a two. A tour, an infrared. I can't have a friend join me. If any of the handsome pod wants to go in there.

[Tig Notaro]

What if they sit on your lap?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, three of us did it. One of us is sitting on a lap.

[Tig Notaro]

Great. Let's.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm okay with that.

[Tig Notaro]

Put that on the list, Thomas. All three.

[May Martin]

Triple sauna and then tits out to a handsome sauna.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

You're gonna really. I think if you do it before bed. But you'll need the best time. Yeah. Because it increases melatonin and stuff.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, okay.

[May Martin]

But you'll have to shower after or something because you'll be real sweaty.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. You know, Fortune doesn't like to clean.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm putting ficus up in front of it so that I can go in there. Cooter out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So the paparazzi doesn't like aren't seeing this, you know. I want to go cooter out in this thing.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

This. Yeah, your backyard. Tits out, Cooter out.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's. It's.

[May Martin]

The ficus is better.

[Fortune Feimster]

Better and necessary. Trust me.

[Tig Notaro]

Gams. A blazing gams are gammons. Tig gams, cooters. All going on in Fortune's backyard.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm a piece of meat in my backyard.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, girl.

[Fortune Feimster]

A filet mignon. Anyway, that's what's happening in my life.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Very excited.

[Tig Notaro]

Getting texts from Atlanta.

[May Martin]

So I'm about to have A weekend where I have. Oh, never mind. Actually, I have no plans. But then I remembered I'm going to go to Dyke Day at Pride tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

They do two different Prides now in la, so I get very confused.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't they have the West Hollywood?

[Fortune Feimster]

They have the West Hollywood one now and then they have the LA one. They used to all be one and somehow the organization split, so now there's two. But I like that you're going to Dyke Day.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I thought, yeah, I'm gonna go. I. Well, I have a couple single friends who want to go, and so I'm. I'm gonna go and try to make it. Yeah, yeah. And try to sort of.

[Tig Notaro]

And is Dyke Day like.

[May Martin]

I think it's inclusive of just, like, people with vaginas. I think it's like the focus is like, AFAB people. I just started using that term. Afab.

[Tig Notaro]

What is.

[May Martin]

It's assigned female at birth. Oh, so it's. So it could be non binary people. It could be.

[Tig Notaro]

Is it like a butcher type situation? No, it's literally just.

[May Martin]

Yeah, just like the way West Hollywood's kind of more gay guy focused. This is more like. Yeah, I see. I went one year and it was. It's. It's so the way, like, West Hollywood is like. And it's. This is like barbecues, dogs.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everyone's reading, kids each other.

[Tig Notaro]

Not barbecued dogs.

[May Martin]

Barbecued dogs.

[Fortune Feimster]

Barbecue space. Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, classic dyke. You know, barbecued dog.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, they're over there rescuing dogs, if anything.

[May Martin]

Oh, I have something cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

What?

[May Martin]

Well, so I had. I. I had followed this. I saw on Instagram this thing that was lesbian oil wrestling, and they do events that look really cool. And I followed them, so. And then they DM me and I said, what's your next two for you to wrestle? Yeah, they. Or they just said, thanks for the follow. And then I said, when's your next event? I want to come. It looks like a party. And they go, we'll have one. They messaged back, they said, we'll have one. Whenever you want to have one. We'll organize one.

[Fortune Feimster]

That feels like a May party if I've ever heard it.

[Tig Notaro]

I was gonna say, this is like.

[May Martin]

So I said, I don't. I don't. I just want to come watch. Like, I don't want to. You don't want to co produce. But then they just emailed me and they said, would you like to emcee the lesbian oil wrestling event in LA on July 3rd? And I said, of course. I said, can Parvati and I co. Emcee it.

[Ad Read Voice]

And can we all.

[May Martin]

Can we also wrestle? And they said yes, so we're gonna. We're getting.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm sorry.

[Fortune Feimster]

I might have to go to this.

[Tig Notaro]

When is this?

[May Martin]

July 3rd. Will you come?

[Tig Notaro]

I'm not gonna be.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know if I'll be in town.

[May Martin]

I don't know what the vibe is.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess I could helicopter in.

[May Martin]

I don't. I don't think it's bring your oil like an orgy. I think it's legit. Like.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I don't think anyone's having a wrestling.

[Tig Notaro]

What do you mean you don't think it's an or. Why? I wasn't even thinking about. Oh. Oh, my God. Classic May. And by the way, I don't think that barbecue is going to be an orgy's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, at what point are people doing it?

[May Martin]

I just like the idea of getting that aggression out in a safe arena. Everyone covered in oil. Like, there's something really fun about it. I think you wear mouth guards and stuff, and you just. I.

[Tig Notaro]

That sounds like a living hell.

[Fortune Feimster]

I really don't want to be living hell. Really? Oil living.

[May Martin]

Well, you know, I don't like to be oily either, but I think I could get over it if it.

[Fortune Feimster]

People would pay big bucks to see you in poverty oil wrestling.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. People would pay big bucks to see you just oil your body down. Yeah, of course.

[Ad Read Voice]

Of course.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is a break. The Internet kind of video. You need to put it online after.

[May Martin]

I think I'm gonna start working out now, and I'm gonna.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is. You're already super fit.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't you already work out?

[May Martin]

I mean, I've seen her, like, in a competitive situation. I've seen her, like, on.

[Tig Notaro]

You've seen her survive on an island?

[May Martin]

Yeah, she, like. I've seen her, like, dislocate someone's shoulder by accident on Survivor or maybe that wasn't her. I think that was her. Her friend. But she can throw down.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

So she's got, like, a strong center of gravity, and I'm a bit of a noodle, so I'm gonna really. I'm gonna start.

[Fortune Feimster]

I. Too soon, then. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Can we move this?

[Fortune Feimster]

Can we move the day?

[May Martin]

Yeah, Maybe the end of December. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, July 3rd. It's got to be.

[Tig Notaro]

And then Fortune and I could do commentary.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[May Martin]

You guys will be like the two Muppets.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we could.

[Tig Notaro]

While you're wrestling, we could. Oh, my gosh. We have to do it for a live stream.

[Fortune Feimster]

Live stream?

[Johnny Knoxville]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[May Martin]

I don't know. I think I want you for the, like, Fight Club. I want this to be just for the memories.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, it would just be for the live stream. We wouldn't. We don't have to put it out anywhere else.

[Tig Notaro]

If you're doing it just for the memories, then just like oil yourself up and down and do it at home. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I think the atmosphere is going to be a lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you have the ability to do this whenever you want?

[May Martin]

We're going to emcee throughout and then I think we'll wrestle at the end and. But I think the people who participate are like, really good at this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Keep us posted.

[May Martin]

I will. I will. For sure. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Should we get to our question?

[Fortune Feimster]

Let's do it.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm gonna think about this.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Thinking about May getting all oiled up and I'm thinking about Fortune's tits out, which is my normal go to.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're giving a lot of people some good stuff today.

[Tig Notaro]

They really are.

[Ad Read Voice]

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[May Martin]

Today's question asker is an Australian actor and model who starred in movies like Ready or Not. Caroline. Caroline Babylon and Scream 6.

[Ad Read Voice]

Samara weaving is asking today's question.

[May Martin]

She and I are Instagram friends. We.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

And she seems so funny and cool, isn't she?

[Fortune Feimster]

Australia. She's. Oh, yeah. You said Australian.

[May Martin]

Australian, yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Should I do.

[Tig Notaro]

I was going to say. Here it comes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Lopez razor blades don't come for me. Toni Colette.

[Samara Weaving]

Hello, handsome pod. It's Sam Weaving here. I am absolutely honored to ask You a question. I'm a huge fan of all you Wolfy Wolfingtons. Okay, my question today is, what is the most unhinged thing you've ever done? You know where you're going? This wouldn't say, I've lost my mind, but I did it. Can't wait to hear your tales.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, wow, I do love the Australian accent.

[Tig Notaro]

What was that last thing she said?

[May Martin]

Can't wait to hear your tales.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can't wait to hear your tales.

[Ad Read Voice]

Can't wait to hear tails. Can't wait.

[Tig Notaro]

Can't wait to hear your tales.

[May Martin]

Can't wait to hear your tales.

[Tig Notaro]

Can't wait to hear your tales.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, gosh, that's gonna take me a minute to think of because I don't consider myself an unhinged person.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I love the word unhinged is so specific. So this is not like regular anecdotes that we've shared on the pod. This is like something that you're a little bit like, what does this say about me?

[Fortune Feimster]

Right, Right. Any of you guys have one off the top of your heads?

[Tig Notaro]

Off the top of your tits out.

[May Martin]

I think I have. I mean, I. Yeah, I think I have.

[Samara Weaving]

Like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, God.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, this is pretty unhinged.

[Fortune Feimster]

That laugh leads me to believe something's coming our way.

[May Martin]

I'm thinking how to. How to choose it.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, like, well, so just pretend like we are your much needed therapists.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So I guess this is. This is it. Oh, my God. So I've had, like multiple sort of erotic experiences during massages and whenever I tell people, them. Well, so the first time I was 19, I was in Nepal.

[Tig Notaro]

What do you mean the first time you were 19?

[May Martin]

Oh, no, the first time this happened, I was 19 and I was in Nepal and. And some stuff went down with the masseuse and I was sending. I was giving off signals, and then

[Tig Notaro]

he was like, what are the signals?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, how does one do this?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, you're on this.

[May Martin]

Like, you're on the table. I'm on the table. He would.

[Tig Notaro]

And you're going in wanting to give signals.

[May Martin]

No, that. No. Well, now sometimes you probably have to

[Fortune Feimster]

see if you feel the vibe with whoever the. The Massu person is.

[Tig Notaro]

How do you feel the vibe? Because the masseuse is like, giving.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I don't wanna.

[May Martin]

I don't want to come across like a creep on this.

[Tig Notaro]

Too late, Too late.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have another question. Is it usually a man or a woman or both?

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Putting the vibe up for.

[May Martin]

I've had Both.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

And. But so this was. I mean, like, when I was 19, this is when it started. And the door was kind of open. Was. I was 19, and this guy was kind of testing the waters by, like, going up very close to the area. You know what I mean?

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

And he was super handsome. And I hadn't had sex in months, and I was like. I went back.

[Ad Read Voice]

That's what it was.

[May Martin]

I went back for a massage, like, the next day, and I think that gave him the signal. And then I was, like, breathing in sync with him and whatever. He ended up going down on me.

[Fortune Feimster]

That.

[May Martin]

That was. And then afterwards, I told people and they.

[Fortune Feimster]

I thought he was going to, like, put a finger in. I didn't think he was going full mouth.

[Tig Notaro]

Guys, guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

Full mouth is, like, very personal.

[May Martin]

From behind, guys. Well, I was the face down.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Guys.

[Tig Notaro]

What is happening to our innocent podcast?

[May Martin]

Is this too much?

[Tig Notaro]

Thomas is hiding his face. I've never seen that happen.

[May Martin]

This was just the. I mean, the lead into the real unhinged story.

[Tig Notaro]

This isn't even it.

[May Martin]

This isn't even it.

[Fortune Feimster]

We'll let you continue.

[Tig Notaro]

I think we stop here.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, no, no. I think we have to continue.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait a minute.

[Fortune Feimster]

Turn it. Turn it off for now.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait a minute. How on earth does that go from massage? Does. Does he ask?

[May Martin]

Yeah, he said this was a weird experience. This was not.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Like, so I was. And I was in Nepal. He didn't speak English. And he basically was like, the second time I did. Oh, my God. Anyway, it doesn't matter. But he said. He said a funny phrase.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[May Martin]

He said this too. Sometimes also good. And then I said, what? And then he said, is it okay? And then he started going down on me. I. I come in 10 seconds because it was like I was already ready to go. And I was like, this is. But the thing is.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

[Tig Notaro]

This.

[May Martin]

Sometimes.

[Tig Notaro]

This.

[May Martin]

This too, sometimes also good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Thomas, can you write that down?

[May Martin]

This too, sometimes also good.

[Fortune Feimster]

And he wasn't down there long?

[May Martin]

No, because I was. It was like I was.

[Fortune Feimster]

It worked. It worked for you. Okay.

[May Martin]

And then we. Then he asked me on a date. We made out a bit. Then he asked me on a date, and then I didn't go on the d. Date. And then he emailed me. I'd given his story me his email. And then he said that he wanted to get married. He wanted a Canadian passport. And then I thought, how many tourists have you?

[Tig Notaro]

And anyway, so this went from this to sometimes also good to Will you marry me?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And for a passport.

[May Martin]

I wasn't planning on sharing that.

[Tig Notaro]

And this is not the unhinged.

[May Martin]

This is an unhinged one.

[Fortune Feimster]

We need to get to the unhinged one.

[May Martin]

But the reason I told that one is like. Like, after that experience, I. I skipped out of there feeling great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And then I would tell people about it. I was like, oh, my God. And they were like, are you okay? Or like, they were like, oh, wow, that's kind of bleak. And I was like, I feel good, but now I'm absorbing your things about

[Fortune Feimster]

their shame about it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

But I'm like.

[Fortune Feimster]

I went, that's fine.

[May Martin]

I don't think I do. And. And because I've had it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've had it happen to a friend before, and she was very into it.

[May Martin]

It happened.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Not the num num, num part, but.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

What did she have a finger? Oh, okay.

[May Martin]

So. So then cut to.

[Tig Notaro]

I do not give off those vibes if I'm.

[Fortune Feimster]

Me neither. I would be, like, bummed. I'd be like, I actually want massage. Can you please stop?

[May Martin]

Yes, for sure. That. I mean, most massages I have, it's regular massage, but sometimes I like. I'm a very. Like, my whole body is an erogenous zone. Like, I.

[Tig Notaro]

Right.

[May Martin]

You know, and I get relaxed. And there's something so nice about not having to perform or, like, try to be hot. You're just lying down. Anyway, so cut to. The unhinged experience was. Because I thought that was the pinnacle. I'll never have that again. And I think about it frequently.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And then I. I got on an app. I got booked a masseuse, and I was in.

[Tig Notaro]

So there's a masseuse app.

[May Martin]

There's multiple masseuse apps.

[Fortune Feimster]

But is this an app with that you're going on with the hopes of more happening or. It's a legit.

[Tig Notaro]

This too, sometimes. Also good dot com.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

No, I was just. I wanted a massage. I was super tired. I was on tour.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

And the masseuse came to my hotel room, and he's this. This giant man. He's like 6 foot 5, like, muscular. The first thing that happened was he did. He mentioned it was his birthday, and I thought, huh. And he said, yeah, I. I wasn't gonna work on my birthday, but I'll. I thought I'd take the job. And anyway, I was thinking, this guy's.

[Tig Notaro]

What if you just immediately started singing happy birthday to him?

[Ad Read Voice]

Awkward.

Birthday.

[Tig Notaro]

Happy birthday.

[May Martin]

And anyway, long story short, I ended Up.

[Ad Read Voice]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Having like tantric sex with this humongous man for. For three and a half hours in the hotel room. And then. And then he. And it was one of the wildest experiences of my life. It was. It was so connected. Like it. So.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know.

[May Martin]

And then afterwards, I. I've only told a few people this. And in fact, I swore to myself, you know, I would never tell anyone.

[Tig Notaro]

Thousands of people hear now, what is wrong? But you're unhinged.

[Ad Read Voice]

I do.

[Tig Notaro]

Simply unhinged.

[May Martin]

You think it's crazy. I mean, listen, we used.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think we were very safe and these two consenting adults.

[May Martin]

I mean, to be honest, I was the one driving the encounter.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, how did you drive the encounter? Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do have some follow up questions.

[Ad Read Voice]

Yeah.

[Samara Weaving]

How.

[Fortune Feimster]

How does this. How does this go down that. Start going down that road?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Well, I think what he expected. I'm sure he's done this before. I mean, first of all, this is.

[Tig Notaro]

I know he has.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I know for sure.

[May Martin]

This is the most amazing massage of my life. Like, he. He was a gifted bodywork, like, healer, like his giant hands. And he's like breathing. And I start breathing in sync with him and he's playing this music and so he was like a really brilliant masseuse.

[Tig Notaro]

That feels like it's a. It's. It. That's what you do is you start breathing at the same time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, the breathing is.

[Tig Notaro]

Come up a few times here.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would love to have this guy work on me without the dong.

[May Martin]

Oh, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, you don't want the dong experience of this.

[Tig Notaro]

And I want footage of you face to face with the large man saying exactly that sentence. Just.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like the massage. Just no dong, please.

[May Martin]

Well, so.

[Fortune Feimster]

So okay, let's continue our breathing in sync.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Then he's like, whatever. He's like, is this. He's. He asked consent multiple times. Because I'm like, I'm literally. I'm like, my energy is like, please go further with this. Like, I'm like. So then that happens again. I come in two seconds.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Oh.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because he's like touching. He's like touching things.

[May Martin]

He starts touching things. Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

On your body.

[May Martin]

On my body. After about half an hour of massaging.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I need a lot.

[May Martin]

And then. And then he's like gonna just keep massaging or wrap up the experience. But then I was like literally begging him. I was like, please let me take you to my bed. And he was like, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[May Martin]

I was like, took him by the hand, took him to my bed, really took control.

[Tig Notaro]

I Would love to see you leading a giant man by the hand to your bed.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that is great.

[Tig Notaro]

That is just a wonderful.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then. And then three hours. Three and a half hours.

[May Martin]

Yeah. It was like. It was wild.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's like an owie.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Owie.

[May Martin]

No, no, no, no. It wasn't. It wasn't like three hours ago. Crazy. It was just like. It was. Honestly, I. It was like.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

What may. It was what.

[May Martin]

It was just pretty wild and very sensual. Very connected. Like it. And then afterwards.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are there any breaks?

[May Martin]

Not really a lot of it. Well, he'd go back to massaging and stuff. But then, anyway, I felt conflicted about it after only because of. Well, he left. And I was like, am I out of my mind? Who was this person? And I'm in a hotel room and like, I. And then I thought, have I just internalized, like, societies? Because that was ex. That was.

[Ad Read Voice]

I was.

[May Martin]

That's the type of porn I watch. I felt like I was in my dream fantasy of like one of many dream fantasies of different dynamics, but that's one for sure.

[Tig Notaro]

What if he walked out of your hotel room and behind the door he just heard you say owie?

[May Martin]

Oh, God. No, it wasn't.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think I've done anything for three and a half hours.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

The craziest thing was then I texted my friend who I was on tour with, and I said, I. Like, I had a moment of panic after. I'm just like, am I like, I don't know what's wrong with you?

[Fortune Feimster]

Did you give him five stars?

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did. And. And.

[Fortune Feimster]

But for real. No, you were. There was no owie at any point, you're like, no.

[Tig Notaro]

Good question. Fortune. It was a follow up question.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[May Martin]

It wasn't three hours of penetrative, like, pounding. It was like, okay, that's what I needed to know. No, it was like tantric.

[Tig Notaro]

It was like I can't even share what I. What came to mind for me, that was unhinged at this point.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, we know this is not a path you're going down.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. It's like I'm listening to your story and I'm like, how do I even share mine?

[Fortune Feimster]

We are so boring. Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

No, I want to hear yours. I feel like I'm. I'm having regret about sharing, but I shouldn't.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right?

[Tig Notaro]

You shouldn't have.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, there's no.

[Samara Weaving]

I'm a.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is a no judgment zone. We laugh because we're a silly. A silly pod.

[May Martin]

I think everyone. Yeah. I'M sex positive, I think.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sex positive. We know that about you. Very.

[May Martin]

This guy was the most respectful can, like, I love that. Like, communicative. And. And if anything, I was the one driving the experience.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, listen, we could all learn from this fella.

[Ad Read Voice]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really be Sensual Month. And may we. We support your endeavors.

[May Martin]

Thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because you're good and you're safe. That's all we care about.

[May Martin]

It was interesting, though, like, the. The flash of anxiety afterwards. And I was like, where does that come from? Because I literally. I objectively just had one of the best times of my life. Like, that was crazy. And then afterwards, I was like, oh, God. But then why. But those days might be through for me. I. You know, when I'm in a relationship, I'm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, you might be able to apply some of that into your current situation, you know.

[May Martin]

Oh, very much. Absolutely.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've never been in a tantric situation. That just seems like a long time to do anything. I think I need frantic situation water.

[May Martin]

I need snacks. You could stop for.

[Fortune Feimster]

I need a break.

[Tig Notaro]

Unless you ate the snacks off of somebody.

[May Martin]

Yeah, true.

[Tig Notaro]

Here's what came to mind. For me, it was when I was in junior high school, I was, you know, cutting up in class, as I did with a friend or two, and we got sent out of science class to sit in the hallway. That was the punishment. But our classroom was at the very end of the hallway where the bathrooms were and where the doors, like, they had, like, exit doors at the end of the hall near the bathroom. And we were sitting in the hall, and I said to my friends, what if while we're out here, we go get a bunch of toilet paper and toilet paper the school? And so we went into the bathroom, grabbed all of this toilet paper, and during school hours, we were just toilet papering the. The trees and bushes out while people

[May Martin]

were just in their classrooms looking out the window.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And then another teacher came out of the classroom and caught us mid going in and out of the school. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that felt a little unhinged, but nothing compared to.

[May Martin]

Yeah. When did it get tantric?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. When did the owie part happen?

[Tig Notaro]

I know it's like, you know, I was a kid that was up to some stuff, but not.

[May Martin]

But there's real boldness there to be like, I'm already in trouble and I could get caught at any moment. I'm gonna in plain sight.

[Tig Notaro]

I lived my life as a kid thinking, like, I'm not, like, killing anybody.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, that's How I would kind of make decisions. I'd be like, is it murder? If not, then fine. Yeah. I'm not like, killing anybody.

[Ad Read Voice]

That's tr.

[Tig Notaro]

Anyway.

[May Martin]

Did you get in big trouble? Were you suspended?

[Tig Notaro]

I wasn't suspended, but I, you know, I can't remember. I was all. There was always something going on, you know, that was just another one where it's like, oh, my God, she's toilet papering the school during school hours. And it's like, but why would you send the kids that are acting that way in class out into the hallway to sit alone?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

It's like, what, we're just going to then start behaving ourselves?

[May Martin]

Yeah. Your punishment is you can't be in class.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Fortunately about you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, that was equally as exciting as Maze. I, you know, I've always been like, too responsible for my own good. Like, I. I didn't even like, really allow myself to be unhinged in my younger days and do those wild things you're kind of supposed to do when you're younger. I would say the most unhinged thing I probably did was I. I just was like, lonely a lot. When I was in high school, I had a lot of friends. I was friends with different groups of people. But I think because I was friends with a lot of different groups, like, sometimes I would be included in things and sometimes I wouldn't because you just aren't clocking people as much when you're kind of the person that's going throughout the group. And, you know, back then I was no shade, but I was left home a lot by myself on the weekends. So once I was old enough to start driving, I would just kind of drive around town and like, drive by my friend's house just to see, like, I don't know what I was looking for. If I thought like, they would magically come outside and be like, come hang out. No.

[May Martin]

So you wouldn't felt psycho door? Yeah. Because would your. Would your heart rate go up a bit because you knew you were being a little sketchy?

[Ad Read Voice]

So you were.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You were stalking your friend.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like, I want to hang out. No one's asking me to hang out tonight. Like, and then I did actually drive past a friend once and she lived on a, like, dead end street. She's like, what are you doing? I was like, ah,

[May Martin]

God, you're in. My friend.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't know if you wanted to hang out or anything thing.

[Tig Notaro]

And did you hang out?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. I think she was like, I'm going to. I'm going to. Home to bed. I was like, great.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm going where everyone else is hanging out without you.

[May Martin]

She's like, if I wanted to hang out, I would have said so.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was just like a little bit of a wayward soul at times.

[Tig Notaro]

So that's funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just hadn't quite found my confidence yet. And just like, call. Just call your friend and be like, do you want to hang out? Like, what are you doing?

[Tig Notaro]

Boy, did we all have very different levels of unhinged. I mean.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I never got, like, crazy. I never really got crazy drunk or anything. I mean, I told y'. All. I already told you that. One time I had a party at my house for my friend's.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

18th birthday with the stripper with the acne on his butt. That might be the most unhinged.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Night I had in high school where it's just a bunch of girls covering their face while this acne butt guys, like, grinding his pointed wiener on him.

[May Martin]

Pointed?

[Ad Read Voice]

It was.

[Fortune Feimster]

Remember, it was. I don't even remember. It was like. It was, like, crooked.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Oh.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think he had something in his

[May Martin]

Speedo to make it look bigger.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. So that. That was my. My. My little toe dip of being wild. Was hosting that party. And then I didn't really drink in college. I was pretty. Pretty boring. Yeah. So college days, I don't have all these, like, wild stories that some people have. And then I think I got drunk in LA once at a Halloween party where I was wearing a Hooters outfit, and I did crawl across the floor at one point in my Hooters outfit.

[May Martin]

Like, sexy.

[Tig Notaro]

That is hilarious.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

That is so.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's maybe the extent of my. My wild days.

[May Martin]

And. And I shouldn't have regret about sharing that. You think?

[Tig Notaro]

No, I don't think at all.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're living your life.

[Ad Read Voice]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And also, I'm pro. I'm. I'm pro sex work, too. It's like, it. This guy felt like a healer. Honestly.

[Tig Notaro]

Huh.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anyway, he healed me.

[May Martin]

In fact, I told him that after, and he was like, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

You said you healed me.

[May Martin]

I said, a wizard. And I was like, you're. You're like a very gifted. Like. And he was like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anyway, you're like a wiener wizard.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Yeah. No, we had a good lull. We had a good laugh.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right. Should we. Should we hear Samara's question? I mean, answer.

[Samara Weaving]

Okay. Before I tell the story, you must know my husband is a picky eater. And there's no real logic to it. Like, he likes cheese on pizza, but doesn't like cheese on pasta. And like, we'll have nuts in a candy bar, but then, like, no nuts on the salad. Like, it's just a bit illogical, which drives me a bit nuts also, if you were, like, going to invite me to a soiree of some kind and

[Tig Notaro]

then you hear this story and you

[Samara Weaving]

go, actually, never mind. I went mad. I went insane. Okay, I'm unhinged. I went unhinged. This is not. Not in line with my principles as a professor. Okay, here we go. So we were at a picnic, and my friend offered us all walnut and chocolate cookies. And Jimmy, my husband, said, oh, no, I'm allergic to walnuts. And I just went, no, you're not. No, you're not. Just say you don't want it because you're a weird, picky eater. And he was adamant. He doubled down. He was like, no, I'm allergic. And I just knew in my heart that he wasn't. So that night, I was making dinner and I ground up walnuts.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Samara Weaving]

Like, laughing like, this could potentially kill him.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I knew it wasn't.

[Samara Weaving]

I knew it wasn't going be.

[Ad Read Voice]

To.

[Johnny Knoxville]

To.

[Samara Weaving]

He wasn't going to die. I just knew that he was lying, giggling, sprinkled it in our dinner, watched him eat it like a creep. And then when he finished, I waited like 10, 15, he was. And then I went, ha. You're not allergic for walnuts. But it was. I. I remember feeling at the time like, this is. I'm. This is.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's hilarious.

[Tig Notaro]

That's unhinged.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is unhinged.

[Samara Weaving]

Now he has a baby with me, so he's locked in.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

He probably was like, what?

[Tig Notaro]

I know.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

That could have gone a very good way.

[Fortune Feimster]

Super south cut.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Him in the hospital. Oh, my God. But I. When she says she knew in her. Her heart and gut, I believe that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that is. But there must have been a moment when she was grinding them up where she just thought, what have I become?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Yeah. But it is. It's funny when you know somebody so well and you know when they're answering something or responding to something, you're like, I know what's up. Yeah, I know what's up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, that was. I mean, we really went to a new place with each other and we really did.

[Tig Notaro]

Mainly with May.

[May Martin]

I know. I really overshared and I'm sorry, if you're listening and you fast forwarded those parts.

[Tig Notaro]

No, no.

[Fortune Feimster]

Edge of our seats, all of us.

[May Martin]

Even though Speaking of edging, you know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Anyway, what's coming up for you guys? June 30th.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I don't want to brag, but my birthday is tomorrow. July 1st.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. Of course.

[Tig Notaro]

How old will you be? 45.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, four.

[May Martin]

We can hear you.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

So, coming. So I.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, what just happened?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm in a hotel and it's time for me to check out.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I'm not doing stand up for a minute because the Hawk is coming out July 16th on Netflix. But back in. In August, I'm going to be in the in West Hampton and Foxwood casinos in Connecticut, Red Bank, New Jersey, Provincetown, Massachusetts, Greenville, South Carolina, Wilmington, Boise, Portland, Oregon, Austin, Dayton, Louisville, Durham. Tons of places. So check out my website, fortunepequeeper.com I

[Tig Notaro]

am on tour and I will see you in Colorado Springs. I will see you in Rochester and Calgary. I'll see you in Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia. The list goes on. And, oh, Fresno, Napa. Tignotaro.com. that's where you can get all the show details. There will be more shows added, and I am going to be hitting bigger cities at some point, but this is where you can see me now.

[May Martin]

Take notaro.com I am July 17th in Guelph, Ontario, playing music at the Hillside Festival. And then I'm in Yellowknife playing music on the 18th, 19th, I think. And then I'm back at Largo on July 29th.

[Tig Notaro]

Love it.

[May Martin]

And that's pretty much it.

[Tig Notaro]

Great. Make sure to rate, review and subscribe. It's so important for the show. We're also on YouTube and one day in advance on Hulu. Also, go to handsomepod.com for all the wonderful merch May will play us out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Until then, keep it Handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Wouillette. Email [e-mail] and follow us on social media at Handsomepod. What a podcast.

[May Martin]

What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast.

[Ad Read Voice]

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I've got my keys before I leave the house. Dog Nabbit accidentally locked myself out and Stephanie won't be home for another hour. Guess I'll take a little stroll around the neighborhood.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Jeff Tremaine]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show. Coming to.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Coming to. That's what it is.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Jeff Tremaine]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show now on Headgum. Woohoo.

[Jeff Tremaine]

I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions. Jeff.

[May Martin]

I've noticed that every.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Every so often with guests like Spike Jones.

[Jeff Tremaine]

I think let's commit to Jackass the Podcast.

[May Martin]

What was it gonna be called? The Jackass Podcast Podcast.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Without you, the IQ drops significantly.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Steve O. There's a strong chance that were it

[Fortune Feimster]

not for Jackass, that I would be

[Johnny Knoxville]

in clown makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius, that shot of your butt

[Jeff Tremaine]

just cruising up, I'm like, yeah, I

[May Martin]

got that on tv.

[Johnny Knoxville]

God bless us, Dave England.

[May Martin]

Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's gonna happen to me.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Wee Man.

[May Martin]

Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted

[Johnny Knoxville]

to kill me and some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning.

[Jeff Tremaine]

I had to share a room with

[May Martin]

this guy, and I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him every time.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and tick tock@jackassthepodcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes.