Handsome – "Sarah Gadon asks about house pets"

Release Date: December 16, 2025
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Special Guest: Sarah Gadon (question via recording)

Episode Overview

In this lively and freewheeling episode, comics Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin are joined (via question) by celebrated Canadian actor Sarah Gadon, who asks, "If you had to be a house pet, what house pet would you be?" The trio riff on everything from celebrity phone contacts and Oscar blunders to wild pet stories. They discuss their experiences with animals, share personal stories, and wind up in a hilarious digression about Harrison Ford and the ultimate (mispronounced) drag name: Felista Clockhart.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Improv Troupe Names & Celebrity Contacts [03:02–09:38]

• The hosts joke about imaginary improv troupe names, with Mae pitching "Two Against One," and Fortune suggesting "Dumpster Tits."
• They trade tales about famous people in their phone contacts, including Tig's revelation that she has Warren Beatty’s phone number — much to everyone's surprise.
  • Quote: "You know whose number I have that will blow your mind?" (Tig, 05:00)
• Fortune shares her knowledge of Oscar night blunders, prompting an affectionate roast of award show moments and podcasting awards.

Language, THC, and Cultural Gaps [12:13–16:58]

• Mae recounts a story involving a THC-infused drink and her roommate’s girlfriend from China, leading to the new phrase “my soul has shrunk.”
  • Quote: “No, I don’t think I feel anything, but my soul has shrunk. And now there’s space between my soul and my body.” (Mae, 14:04)
• The conversation explores how language differences and cultural norms, like the poetic way to say “I love you” in Chinese, shape relationships.
  • “If you say something poetic about the moon, it means you’re saying, ‘I love you.’” (Mae, 15:28)

Personal Updates: Fortune’s Mom & Upcoming Projects [20:11–24:13]

• Fortune provides an update on her mother’s cancer: significant shrinkage of tumors has brought some newfound hope.
  • Quote: "She had a tumor the size of a lime that’s now the size of a grape." (Fortune, 21:25)
• Mae and Fortune discuss upcoming projects, including filming together on the Will Ferrell show and their respective approaches to on-screen glamour.

Famous Pets, Carl's Jr., and Podcast Tangents [29:01–36:46]

• Mae introduces Sarah Gadon and reveals their on-screen "wifely" connection from Netflix’s Wayward.
• The group dives into the quirks of Carl’s Jr.’s apostrophe placement, the history behind it (a typo!), and Fast Food brand trivia.
  • Quote: "It was built by the same contractor who misspelled Carl Jr. as Carl’s Jr. and so he just stuck with it." (Mae, 36:05)

The Main Question: What House Pet Would You Be? [41:42–59:03]

• After a series of detours, the gang tackles Sarah Gadon’s question:
  1. Tig: “I would be a cat…” appreciates the independence and snuggle opportunities.
  2. Mae: Agrees with cat but affirms dog person identity. Shares a story about chaotic student houses with missing snakes.
  3. Fortune: Debates birdhood but worries about cage life, ultimately settles on “a gorgeous Pomeranian” (her real dog, Biggie) after recounting a harrowing pet health scare.
     • Quote: "I’d want to be a gorgeous Pomeranian because they’re often treated like princes." (Fortune, 56:19)
• Hilarious tangents occur about pet snakes getting lost in celebrity homes (Taylor Swift!), and Dakota Johnson’s family’s pet lions.
• They wittily roast the trope of “weird” pets (snakes, spiders) and discuss the responsibilities and personalities of pet owners.

Harrison Ford, Felista Clockhart & Hollywood Pets [56:38–61:52]

• Mae dreams of being a rugged dog on Harrison Ford’s ranch, launching a riff about his rugged allure versus Kevin Costner.
• A classic Mae miscue: calling Calista Flockhart “Felista Clockhart,” which turns into an instant inside joke and drag name.
  • Quote: “Felista Clockhart. That is your new alien—that’s your drag name.” (Fortune, 57:05)
• Mae describes the surreal experience of meeting Harrison Ford and their mutual breadstick “peekaboo” across a dinner table.

Returning to Sarah’s Answer [64:23–66:26]

• Sarah Gadon responds: she’d love to be an outdoor cat but realistically is probably a turtle, leading to toad anecdotes from Wayward.
• Fortune shares her “snake scene” nightmare from “Life in Pieces” opposite Dianne Wiest.
• Quote: “Did this show called Life in Pieces ... And there was a 13-foot python on the bed with us.” (Fortune, 65:23)
• Callbacks to Indiana Jones (“Why’d it have to be snakes?”) wrap things up playfully.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “You know whose number I have that will blow your mind?”
  — Tig Notaro, [05:00]

• "No, I don’t think I feel anything, but my soul has shrunk. And now there’s space between my soul and my body.”
  — Mae Martin (recounting roommate’s girlfriend), [14:04]

• “She had a tumor the size of a lime that’s now the size of a grape.”
  — Fortune Feimster (about her mom), [21:25]

• "It was built by the same contractor who misspelled Carl Jr. as Carl’s Jr. and so he just stuck with it."
  — Mae Martin, [36:05]

• “I’d want to be a gorgeous Pomeranian because they’re often treated like princes.”
  — Fortune Feimster, [56:19]

• “Felista Clockhart. That is your new alien—that’s your drag name.”
  — Fortune Feimster, [57:05]

• “Why’d it have to be snakes?”
  — Mae Martin (as Indiana Jones), [66:18]

Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Improvised Improv Show: Mae pitches a show where each Alanis Morissette song leads into an improv scene.
• Soul Shrinking Under THC: A poetic and surreal description of a first-time high.
• Pet Trauma: Fortune’s grippingly comic account of flying with a gravely ill Pomeranian.
• Felista Clockhart: An accidental spoonerism becomes an instant comedic legend and drag name.
• Breadstick Stare-down with Harrison Ford: Mae’s dinner story about being treated “like a 5-year-old” by Ford is absurd and charming.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:02] — Improv troupe name riffing
• [05:00] — Tig reveals Warren Beatty’s number
• [12:13] — Language & THC story from Mae
• [20:11] — Fortune shares her mom’s health news
• [29:01] — Sarah Gadon is introduced; question begins
• [36:05] — Carl’s Jr. typo history
• [41:42] — Return to the main question: house pet selections
• [56:38] — Harrison Ford tangent & Felista Clockhart
• [64:23] — Sarah Gadon’s house pet answer: turtle
• [65:23] — Fortune’s snake-on-set story

Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential Handsome romp—full of playful tangents, affectionate teasing, and comic storytelling. The central question—what house pet would you be—unleashes confessions about animal personalities, pet trauma, and the psychic draw of both cats and “gorgeous Pomeranians.” Off-topic, off-kilter, but always good-natured, this is a perfect showcase of the trio's chemistry and wit.

For more:

• Find tour dates via each host’s website.
• Listen to past episodes for more "cat maulings" and legendary gaffes.
• Seek out the “Felista Clockhart” drag name at your next open mic.