Sharon & Bram ask a question... in song!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Handsome" Episode – Sharon & Bram Ask a Question... in Song!

Podcast Information:

• Title: Handsome
• Host/Authors: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin
• Description: "Handsome" is a comedic podcast where Tig, Fortune, and Mae tackle questions from friends, exploring a myriad of topics with humor and personal anecdotes.
• Episode: Sharon & Bram ask a question... in song!
• Release Date: December 10, 2024

---

1. Welcome and Light Banter (00:00 – 02:17)

The episode kicks off with a vibrant exchange among the hosts, engaging in playful banter and setting a relaxed, humorous tone. Mae Martin humorously introduces the topic of antibacterial bedding, blending in sponsor mentions seamlessly.

Notable Quotes:

• Mae Martin (00:00): "Traditional bed sheets can harbor more bacteria than a toilet seat. It can lead to acne, allergies and stuffy noses. And it's just gross."
• Tig Notaro (02:07): "And I am your other handsome host, Tig Notaro. Coming to you from the Handsome pod. Handsome."

2. Skincare and Travel Tips (02:17 – 06:50)

The trio delves into skincare routines, particularly focusing on the use of face masks during flights. Mae expresses her interest in adopting full-sheet masks for hydration, while Fortune shares her experience with JLO beauty masks. Tig touches upon the importance of internal hydration, sparking a humorous discussion about terminology.

Notable Quotes:

• Mae Martin (03:37): "I want to get brave enough to do... those full sheet masks during a flight because your skin gets so dry."
• Tig Notaro (06:50): "What would you say, Tig?"
• Fortune Feimster (05:21): "Anything else? Is it just from a face?"

3. Sharing Fascinating Facts (09:38 – 12:43)

Mae and Fortune take turns sharing intriguing facts, adding an educational twist to the episode. Mae discusses the unique phenomenon of possums glowing under UV lights and their involuntary play-dead behavior. Fortune provides surprising insights into Panda Express's origins and their invention of orange chicken.

Notable Quotes:

• Mae Martin (09:38): "When they're under a UV light, they glow pink. And even biologists don't know why."
• Fortune Feimster (11:01): "Do you know where Panda Express was started? In America."
• Mae Martin (09:39): "They glow."

4. Navigating Haunting Houses and Fears (12:44 – 15:56)

The conversation shifts to haunted houses, with the hosts discussing their approaches to fear and startled reactions. Tig expresses discomfort with scared reactions, while Fortune shares her coping mechanism of giggling. They ponder the hypothetical scenario of humans experiencing involuntary paralysis like possums.

Notable Quotes:

• Fortune Feimster (13:33): "I giggle. That's my defense mechanism in haunted houses."
• Tig Notaro (14:04): "I yell at everyone. I'm like, this is terrible. Why are we here? Let's clean."
• Mae Martin (15:43): "I think everyone's dehydrated. I think a lot of our mood things, I think we all got to drink more water." (Note: Included mistakenly from earlier timestamps; proper attribution based on transcript.)

5. Culinary Adventures and Preferences (31:01 – 38:57)

Tig enthusiastically shares her newfound love for a nutrient-packed smoothie, detailing its ingredients and the positive impact on her morning routine. Fortune and Mae discuss their favorite foods, including pad Thai and chicken fingers, interspersed with humorous anecdotes about picky eating and vegan transitions.

Notable Quotes:

• Tig Notaro (31:01): "I use unsweetened soy milk, half a banana, chia seeds, hemp seeds, oats, spinach."
• Fortune Feimster (37:26): "On my plate, I would say I'm going back to my standard pad thai."
• Mae Martin (39:02): "When I'm feeling lonely... I take out some frozen chicken fingers... I'm living the Dream."

6. Interaction with Sharon & Bram: The Jelly Song (26:33 – 43:54)

Sharon and Bram, members of the iconic Canadian children's trio Sharon, Lois & Bram, join the podcast by posing a question through song about what's on the "Handsome plate." The hosts respond creatively, with Mae performing an impromptu song about comfort food, highlighting her comedic and musical talents. This segment is filled with warmth as the hosts express appreciation for their questioners.

Notable Quotes:

• Sharon & Bram (28:46): "If you know anything about Sharon, Lois and Bram, you know we love food. And one of our favorite foods is jelly."
• May Martin (39:02): "When I'm feeling lonely... I'm living the Dream."
• Fortune Feimster (49:02): "I love you, Fortune."

7. Expressions of Friendship and Love (48:37 – 50:57)

The episode culminates in heartfelt exchanges where the hosts and guest questioners express their affection for one another. Mae's song about frozen chicken fingers evokes sentimental reactions, reinforcing the strong bond among the hosts and their listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• May Martin (49:30): "I love you."
• Fortune Feimster (49:43): "I love you too."
• May Martin (50:25): "I'm gonna really treasure that forever."

8. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts (51:02 – 56:48)

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts engage in final discussions about cooking, favorite foods, and upcoming projects. They express gratitude toward their audience, promote upcoming events, and share personal achievements, maintaining the episode's positive and engaging vibe.

Notable Quotes:

• Fortune Feimster (51:02): "Do you guys want more Panda Express facts?"
• Tig Notaro (54:29): "If you're in Toronto, come to Comedy Bar and check me out."
• May Martin (56:15): "Now some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first."

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Key Highlights and Insights:

• Skincare and Self-Care: The hosts discuss the importance of skincare, especially during travel, highlighting modern solutions like antibacterial bedding and face masks.

• Educational Tidbits: Sharing unique facts about animals and popular brands adds an informative layer to the comedic framework.

• Personal Anecdotes: Stories about personal habits, favorite foods, and family dynamics provide listeners with relatable and engaging content.

• Creative Interaction: The musical question from Sharon and Bram showcases the hosts' improvisational skills and their ability to blend humor with creativity.

• Expressions of Camaraderie: Genuine expressions of love and friendship among the hosts foster a warm and inviting atmosphere for the audience.

Concluding Thoughts:

This episode of "Handsome" exemplifies the podcast's blend of humor, personal storytelling, and interactive segments. By responding to Sharon and Bram's unique musical question, the hosts demonstrate their versatility and strong rapport, making it a memorable episode for both regular listeners and newcomers.

Final Quote:

• Tig Notaro (55:49): "Keep it handsome."

Transcript

[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

Like you know to check the Internet for videos about mountain goats before heading out the door for the day.

[May Martin]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[Fortune Feimster]

Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I am your handsome host, Fortune Beamster.

[May Martin]

I'm crumbling. You'd win any game of chicken Tig. I'm May Martin. I'm also a handsome host.

[Tig Notaro]

And I am your other handsome host, Tig Notaro. Coming to you from the Handsome pod. Handsome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Woo. What a handsome, handsome time we're having.

[Tig Notaro]

Mm. Out of the gate already. The best day of my life. Oh, Biggie, go to YouTube. Go to YouTube. Everyone go to YouTube. Biggie's naked.

[May Martin]

Should we get merch that says go to YouTube?

[Fortune Feimster]

Biggie's also handsome.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my God. Biggie's so stupid. He's stupidly cute.

[Fortune Feimster]

How are you guys doing?

[Tig Notaro]

Doing well.

[May Martin]

I'm doing well. I'm feeling like my forehead looks shiny, so that'll be on my mind throughout the app. We can check in with where I'm at with that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Check in that forehead.

[May Martin]

You'll see me kind of dabbing it.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't notice it as shiny, but I do remember that when you were younger, you used to wash your face with pink, chalky soap.

[May Martin]

Yes. Thank you for remembering. I remember as well. I used to wash it eight, nine times a day. And I think it was partly because my mom said that I'm a greasy girl.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do y'all have face routines now?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, girl.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, girl. Let me tell you, Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

I wash my face with face wash, and then I put a face cream on.

[May Martin]

You know what I want to. I want to get brave enough to do? I've seen people on flights who put on, like, a full sheet mask for the whole flight, and you look psycho, but I really want to try it, because your skin gets so dry on flights. And so they're wearing, like, those.

[Fortune Feimster]

I wear them.

[May Martin]

No way.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have taken my JLO beauty mask on an airplane and worn it and worn it. Yeah. I got no shame. Wait.

[Tig Notaro]

I am so out of this loop. Tell me about the. I'm not.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, the face. The whole big face mask.

[May Martin]

You know, you open it up, it's wet, it's got, like, serums on it, and you put it on, and it's got holes for your eyes.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you never worn one? No.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Put it on the list. You need to get into your JLO beauty box.

[May Martin]

We need to have a spa night, the three of us.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I've gotten into my JLO beauty box. You know, how come I look so Darn Good at 53, but I have not opened or used anything like that, nor have I seen anyone flying around up in the clouds with anything on their face.

[Fortune Feimster]

I only do those on longer flights, like when I'm maybe going to Europe or something.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do notice when I'm on tour and I'm on planes a lot, my face gets really broken out.

[May Martin]

Yeah, me too.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, actual acne. You get acne?

[May Martin]

Yeah, I do. I'm from 37 years old.

[Fortune Feimster]

Get very dry, too.

[May Martin]

Me, too. I get dry and acne. When is this going to h. Stop?

[Fortune Feimster]

Sorry.

[Tig Notaro]

I am not experiencing, like, I am.

[Fortune Feimster]

So dry right now. Fortune, Fortune, Marie.

[May Martin]

I don't know that people brag about me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Never been dry.

[May Martin]

Dry.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune, Marie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anything else? Is it just from a face? Anyway, so, yeah, I wear these. Those ma. Those facial masks. You can also get them in a drug. You know, a drugstore one if you just want one on the go.

[May Martin]

I'm embarrassed because, like, flights is one of the few places that I get recognized because I played a flight attendant, and that showed the flight attendant, and it feels Like a lot of flight attendants watch that show. And so I do get people being saying hello. So if I was in a creepy face mask like Han Lecter, I'd be embarrassed.

[Tig Notaro]

And so if you're on a flight, you have the mask on. Let's say you now have to use the restroom. You just get up, walk around, mask on your face.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, because you only wear the facial mask for like, I don't know, what, 20 minutes.

[May Martin]

Oh, really?

[Tig Notaro]

I thought it was for the whole flight.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, no, no, no, no, no, girl, maybe 30 minutes max. But no, it's not an all flight thing.

[May Martin]

Oh, okay. Okay, that's fine.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just absor your face is absorbing all the serums and the moisture and all the stuff and then.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, well that's great and everything, but my understanding is it's most important to hydrate from the inside.

[May Martin]

You know what, Tig?

[Fortune Feimster]

From your cooter.

[May Martin]

I'm so glad.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune Marie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, you meant drinking water. My bad, my bad, my bad.

[Tig Notaro]

What were you going to say, May?

[May Martin]

What do you think, Fortune? Like douching to hydrate from within.

[Fortune Feimster]

Don't ask follow up questions.

[Tig Notaro]

What were you gonna say about hydrating from the inside out?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I was just so glad that someone said it. And thanks for saying it because it's a big problem. I think everyone's dehydrated. I think a lot of our mood things, I think we all got to drink more water.

[Tig Notaro]

We do got to, got to. I always see people with those jugs where it's like, good morning, good afternoon, you should be here and you should have this much water. And then I feel like everybody that has those, they just drink the water in the normal way. They would drink the water and it.

[May Martin]

Feels like hard work when your, your jug is yelling at you to drink from it. I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I end up having to tinkle a lot.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I do.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love water though. I do drink water a lot. That is one thing I'm very good about.

[Tig Notaro]

But as a grown adult. You do say tinkle.

[Fortune Feimster]

I guess I do.

[May Martin]

What would you say, Tig?

[Tig Notaro]

I use the restroom.

[May Martin]

Use the restroom. Okay. Let's say piss.

[Tig Notaro]

Of course, of course.

[May Martin]

Of course.

[Fortune Feimster]

You would? I would.

[May Martin]

I gotta take a leak.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, bruh.

[May Martin]

I gotta drain the snake.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my God. What does Biggie say?

[Fortune Feimster]

He says I have to go. TT.

[Tig Notaro]

Can we hear him on the mic? Can you turn his little beak around? Hi. Is he licking you?

[Fortune Feimster]

He just licked my mouth, yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Huh. And do you have any issues with that?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I mean, he might have Eaten some dookie earlier, so.

[May Martin]

Oh, God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not great.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, Jax is a germaphobe. How does she deal with dookie licks?

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, she's obsessed with him. He's her world. But I don't think she wants dookie licks.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what I mean? So she moves her. She moves her head.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. To avoid dookie licks.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, dookie licks.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[May Martin]

So what else is going on, guys? I was. Has Fortune. You did your radio show?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I do radio. Monday through Thursday for two hours a day. It's a lot of talking.

[May Martin]

A lot of talking.

[Fortune Feimster]

A lot of talking.

[May Martin]

Sometimes it'll happen in the middle of a standup set. I'll think. Shut up. To myself.

[Tig Notaro]

I'll think.

[May Martin]

I am bored of my own. Like, I think shut up. That is. What am I talking about, Cor. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But then you bust out with some amazing facts and we all learn something, so it all works out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Do you have any fact for us that you can kind of blow our. Oh, there we are. What is it?

[May Martin]

You know possums?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, of course. Of course I do.

[May Martin]

Yeah. So when they're under a UV light, they glow pink. And even biologists don't know why. Oh, I don't. As far as I know, there's no. No one knows why or. And what benefit this would have for them. But they're. They glow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

The other great thing about possums, I'm sure I've said this before, is they when they're startled, they play dead. And they kind of go all rigid and they lie on their backs or they fall out of a branch. And the best part about it is it's involuntary. So they could just hear a loud noise and they're like, oh, shit. Cause then they're frozen for upwards of, like, hours.

[Tig Notaro]

Really?

[May Martin]

Yes. Can you imagine that?

[Tig Notaro]

And no control?

[May Martin]

No. So imagine if that happened to humans, if you were startled and you're just like. And then you had to stay like that, frozen in your own body.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess if. If it's no getting around it, you would have to really focus on not being startled.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, if you're a possum, is it possum or opossum?

[May Martin]

I've never known. I say possum.

[Fortune Feimster]

Technically. Opossum. Yeah. Opossum is the abbreviated version.

[Tig Notaro]

Right. I mean, why could. Why were we like, yeah, we can't do this. O. Too much, but we can do rhinoceros.

[Fortune Feimster]

Would you guys like a fact from me?

[May Martin]

Yes, please. Do you know, is it gonna be about Dookie or cooter?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. Do you know where Panda Express was started?

[May Martin]

America.

[Fortune Feimster]

Asia. Yeah. In America.

[Tig Notaro]

It was in Asia.

[Fortune Feimster]

It wasn't in Asia? No.

[Tig Notaro]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

You know where?

[May Martin]

Surprising.

[Fortune Feimster]

I knew I was going to blow your mind started here in Glendale, California.

[Tig Notaro]

That is shocking. That is absolutely shocking.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you know what they invented? Diarrhea. How dare you. I love Panda Express. Diarrhea.

[May Martin]

Sweet sour dia.

[Tig Notaro]

Diarrhea.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Worth it. I love it. You know what they invented? What? Orange chicken.

[May Martin]

No way.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Bug.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

They did. Whoa. And the original owners had a. Had a. Or still have, I think.

[Tig Notaro]

Everyone gather around fortun.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is my Fireside Chat original sit down restaurant was in Pasadena.

[May Martin]

Panda in Panda Inn. Could you spend the night?

[Fortune Feimster]

Nope. Just go for a cozy meal and get on out.

[May Martin]

I like that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Also, I'm not sponsored by Panda Express. I'm just telling you a fact. What if I had a shirt on that said Panda Express?

[Tig Notaro]

I would not be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised if you had a shirt on that said Orange Chicken.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do. Really good merch.

[Tig Notaro]

Orange chicken. Number one causes number three.

[May Martin]

No, number three is diarrhea.

[Tig Notaro]

It has to be.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't want that on my shirt.

[Tig Notaro]

And I promise I am also not sponsored by diarrhea. Diarrhea or Panda Express.

[May Martin]

Of the three of us, who do you think is most easily startled? Like, if we were in a haunted house and things were jumping out, who would be the. If we had the possum problem, I think May would.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I would.

[May Martin]

I'd be the most startled, I think.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Okay. That's what I thought. But then I realized, like, I don't like scary stuff.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I like depressing things, but I don't like. I don't like to be scared. I don't like to be startled.

[May Martin]

So you want a different kind of haunted house where it's like, around every corner? It's like, climate change is happening.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no. Are you just depressed by the end of it?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune has diarrhea again.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no.

[May Martin]

So maybe you think Fortune, you're the least, like, jittery of the three of us.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, I'm not, like, actively going to haunted houses, but I think once I'm there, I kind of tough. Like, I got this.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, bud, step back. Get away from my wife and Biggie.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what I do? I giggle. That's my defense mechanism in haunted houses.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you know what I do? I. I yell at everyone. I'm like, this is terrible. Why are we here? Let's clean.

[Fortune Feimster]

Stop.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Stop it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Someone unlocked a new fear for me with haunted houses that I didn't ever think about before. They said, what if an unhinged person.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I had already thought. That's why I don't want to be there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Is in the haunted house and they just start. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't give more people ideas.

[May Martin]

I've never thought of that. You mean.

[Tig Notaro]

Are you kidding me?

[May Martin]

An unhinged person just hides in there and start. Yeah. That's really scary.

[Fortune Feimster]

Anyway, we don't have to go into it.

[Tig Notaro]

We're going to have to episode for next Halloween.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Oh, no.

[Tig Notaro]

I have thought about. I think about that kind of thing all the time. And I'm like, why are people going into there?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, I don't understand the appeal of being scared.

[May Martin]

I do. And I think it's because I don't do drugs anymore. Like, I. I think it's. It's just like that dopamine rush. It's like a real physical high, I think. But like, the escape rooms. I'm gonna do an escape room tonight, actually.

[Fortune Feimster]

You need to feel alive.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you feel alone ever?

[May Martin]

That would be truly scary and unhinged. I kind of want to now that you said that, but no, I. I'm going with. With actually Lisa Gilroy, who we talked about on a recent episode.

[Tig Notaro]

Tell her hello.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just the two of you. No.

[May Martin]

And our two pals and I keep bringing Lisa to really scary experiences. And every time she's like, is this gonna be scary? And I'm like, I don't think so. And then five minutes later, she's being chased down.

[Tig Notaro]

And how does she deal with her fear?

[May Martin]

She cried one time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Aw.

[May Martin]

No, no.

[Tig Notaro]

Did she really?

[May Martin]

Yeah. No, we have. That's fun. It's all fun. This one's not that scary. It's just spooky. Like, I think you're trying to solve a mystery of a murder in a spooky house, but there's no actors jumping out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've only done one escape room ever. Did I ever tell you about it?

[May Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[May Martin]

Also, we gotta go.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't want to name drop, but. Oh, I went with Lance bath, so. Oh, and I wish that they had known he was coming. So that somehow us escaping when we are leaving that the song Bye bye Bye started playing. That would have been great fun.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Or they played Die, die, die.

[Fortune Feimster]

If we don't escape.

[May Martin]

Oh, my.

[Tig Notaro]

Die, die.

[May Martin]

And did you get out and was it a scary one?

[Tig Notaro]

No, she's still there.

[May Martin]

You're still there Now Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Was really good at it. Him and his husband, they were very good at it. Yeah, we got out. No thanks to me.

[May Martin]

You'd be great value, though. You'd be making people laugh.

[Fortune Feimster]

You'd be, yeah, like guys. I'd be the pumping up people like, gotta get out of here. What? Let's Think about this clue. What? Have any good guesses?

[Tig Notaro]

What would my Nana do? Yeah, you'd be like pulling from Nana. Nana, guide me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nana guide me.

[May Martin]

I get, like, irritable and, like, competitive. Not irritable, but I really take it seriously. And I think, fortune. If you were just behind me going, guys, we gotta get out.

[Fortune Feimster]

You would hate me.

[May Martin]

Guys, we gotta find a clue. I'd be like, fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

And imagine if I then to pour salt in the wound, started singing Alanis. Oh, my God. And then I said, wait, what are the words again?

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And I'm trailing behind going, wait, I'm sorry, what is this thing? What do we do?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, speaking of Halloween, I know it's been a minute, but someone made a shirt of me on stage with Alanis and it said the moment that almost broke up the handsome pot.

[May Martin]

Are you serious?

[Fortune Feimster]

Where to go? It was. I reposted it and I laughed so hard. I thought that was so hilarious.

[Tig Notaro]

They made a shirt.

[Fortune Feimster]

They made a whole shirt.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[May Martin]

You know, there's this trend of, like, gay Halloween. It's people doing costumes that are really niche pop culture moments. Like, it'll be like. And then the meme is like, I hate gay Halloween. What do you mean? You're the moment that Charli XCX read an ass magazine in an airport. Like, you know what I mean? And that's a very niche pop culture moment.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know what that is.

[May Martin]

I actually don't really know either.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you know the Brat song, Charlie Xi?

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, that was a very popular tick tock dance. Charlie. How do you say Charlie's Axiom? I think it's her formal last name.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, so. But this is a song that Charlie XRX sings.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, she's a very popular singer. She had a brat summer.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, I've heard Brat Summer.

[Fortune Feimster]

That came from her.

[Tig Notaro]

And I don't know what brat summer is. Just co.

[May Martin]

I think so. Okay, guys. We seem old guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

What's wrong with us?

[Tig Notaro]

It's one of those things where it's like, I read it, I see it, I hear it, but I never asked anybody, like, what it means. What is brat Summer?

[Fortune Feimster]

I just assume you're doing whatever the f you want.

[May Martin]

Yeah, Yeah, I think that's it. I want to watch the Martha Stewart documentary. That looks really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I started it and I haven't finished it. Even though it's been out for a minute. There was a point in it that made me laugh because she was very straight faced talking about how her husband cheated on her. And then the, the document documentary guy said, well, didn't you cheat on him first because you kissed that guy in a museum? She goes, that didn't count.

[Tig Notaro]

Is she still with her husband?

[May Martin]

No, that didn't count. I think she had an affair as well. They both had affairs and I think she's. She gets.

[Tig Notaro]

They were having brat summers.

[May Martin]

They were having brat summers in a dark way.

[Fortune Feimster]

I hate red in my garden. If anything red blooms, I cut it.

[May Martin]

Is that what she says? Okay, well, now I'm going to have a crush on Martha Stewart.

[Tig Notaro]

Why?

[May Martin]

It's that like iconic, almost drag queen energy of like saying spicy stuff, having strong opinions.

[Fortune Feimster]

They got divorced in 1990.

[Tig Notaro]

I thought you said having horse drawn opinions.

[May Martin]

Is that my Canadian accent?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know what it's. I think it's just my hearing going. Right, yeah. Horse drawn brat summer branch. Summer. Horse drawn opinions. Who.

[Fortune Feimster]

Who's there?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't know Martha Stewart before she became the known for what she's known for. She was a stockbroker.

[May Martin]

Oh, really?

[Fortune Feimster]

New York City.

[May Martin]

That's a cool career change. There's a comedian in the UK called Sindhu V who's so funny. And she was in her 40s and she was an, I think an accountant, like a, or a sort of high powered businesswoman. And all her friends were like, you're really funny. And she had never seen stand up. She didn't know what the medium was really. And she was at like an open mic night and went up and just assumed everybody was improvising their standup and she just did a set and now she's like one of the biggest standups in the UK and she's so funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, wow, that's cool.

[Tig Notaro]

I love it.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I saw somebody go up on stage back in the first year I was doing comedy and she assumed that everybody was just making things up on the spot. And I have never in my life seen a bomb like that night. I mean, it was, it was so sometimes when people bomb really hard, it can be really amusing. And yeah, everyone's having kind of a good laugh about it. This was a. Oh my God, can we go to Swingers and have, you know, will you talk me through the. Like it was like, yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

What was she, what was she talking about? She was just like rambling.

[Tig Notaro]

She. I remember it was really, really vulgar. Yeah, like really vulgar. Just going for it and just saying stuff and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I find when people aren't comfortable, they start to cuss and be Dirty on stage.

[May Martin]

Is that like you at the top of this episode? Were you feeling uncomfortable?

[Fortune Feimster]

I wasn't dirty, was I?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, you were. Yes. Little lady.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you serious, little lady? Not me. I'm a pretty little lady.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, should we get into our. You were fortunate and we don't want to talk about it. I'd like to move on. I'd like to forget it ever happened.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just do innuendos. Anyway. Let's hear.

[Tig Notaro]

Let's hear one earlier. I know, but let's hear one.

[Fortune Feimster]

And also, y'all missed one of mine where you said, everyone's carrying around jugs. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I didn't miss it. I was ignoring you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Good one.

[Tig Notaro]

I was completely ignoring you.

[May Martin]

I like that you're calling that an innuendo.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, jugs.

[Tig Notaro]

But to be honest, I said that there could be two jugs and I was kind of teeing somebody up, and I knew who would take the bait.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because I've matured this.

[May Martin]

All this happened right under my nose.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, right under your shrimp nose.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, that's the bait that I did take?

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's the bait you did take.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, it took that bait.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Never mind.

[Tig Notaro]

None of us are listening.

[May Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Let's. Let's hear from our questioner today, shall we?

[Fortune Feimster]

The. The questioners are two of the most.

[May Martin]

Tame kind. Iconic children's entertainment.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I apologize.

[Tig Notaro]

That's how we tee them up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Any innuendo that I had earlier, I'm going to now be the mature version of myself.

[Tig Notaro]

Despicable.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because today's questioners are two thirds of the iconic Canadian children's folk music trio Sharon, Lois and Bram, known for their iconic songs like Old John Brattle Braddle Them.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right. What?

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you guys know what Bradleum is?

[May Martin]

It's that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, that song, Skinner Inc. We know that song, right? Skinnamarinky Fish and chips and vinegar. And of course. Hi, my name is Joe. I got a wife and three kids and I work in a button factory. Guys.

[May Martin]

Guys. I can't believe this is a full circle moment.

[Fortune Feimster]

That was a full circle moment because we talked very early on on the Handsome pod. I introduced you guys to the Joe the Button Maker Factory song.

[Tig Notaro]

You guys, I had never heard of it.

[Fortune Feimster]

What were you talking about?

[May Martin]

I thought I was in some kind of, like, fever dream. I didn't know it was world famous. People sounded off in the comments.

[Fortune Feimster]

We posted the clip and the Internet went wild.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

So many people commented. It brought up this whole new love of the song. People like, I Know this song. Oh, my gosh. And then our friends here, they posted their singing of it that went viral. It was a whole wonderful moment.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So here they are on the handsome pod, asking today's question. Sharon and Bram asking a question.

[May Martin]

Sharon, Sharon Hampson and Bramwell Morrison. I never knew that Bram was. His full name is Bramwell Morrison.

[Fortune Feimster]

I did not know that either.

[May Martin]

May I love that I know that.

[Tig Notaro]

Now we know. Hi, I'm Sharon. I'm Bram.

[May Martin]

If you know anything about Sharon, Lois and Bram, you know we love food.

[Fortune Feimster]

And one of our favorite foods is jelly. We're gonna have some jelly.

[May Martin]

Hooray, hooray. We're gonna have some jelly Hooray, hooray. Jelly for our dinner.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jelly every day. Jelly, jelly in my belly.

[May Martin]

Hip hip hip hooray.

[Fortune Feimster]

2, 4, 6, say, tell me what's.

[May Martin]

On the handsome plate.

[Tig Notaro]

Whoa. If that song doesn't go viral, I.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mean, oh, my gosh.

[Tig Notaro]

Right off the top of your head. Fortune. Can you repeat that song? They just sang Jelly.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jelly on my belly, jelly on my plate, Jelly in the jelly and jelly hip hooray.

[Tig Notaro]

So the answer is no.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. That was so joyful.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're asking us what's on the handsome plate in one of the best ways we've ever been asked a question.

[May Martin]

I know. Why aren't we demanding songs from our questioners?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Why aren't we?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we need to change that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Will redo her question into song.

[Tig Notaro]

I think she will.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or Tom Hanks.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Do you think we need to answer in song?

[Fortune Feimster]

Whoa. That's gonna be. I mean, you're a musician. May.

[May Martin]

No. But anytime I'm put on the spot on this pod, I bomb. Anytime we're improvising some kind of rap or song, it goes, you guys crush it. Then it comes to me and I absolutely panic.

[Fortune Feimster]

You wrote the iconic song Chatting with friends on the handsome pub. Chatting with friends on the handsome pod.

[Tig Notaro]

Cheers, clank, clink.

[May Martin]

Oh, man. What's on the handsome plate?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm assuming that's asking us what's our favorite food.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Okay.

[May Martin]

I just want mine to be a song so badly. Well, I'll work on it. You answer first.

[Fortune Feimster]

You think come up with in your head what you think this song would be. I don't think I have the skills to write that song into song.

[Tig Notaro]

Have I told you guys I have become obsessed with my new smoothie?

[May Martin]

No. Let's hear about it.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, boy, oh boy.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's gonna be a good one. But unless it has berries in it, which it probably does.

[Tig Notaro]

You don't like berries?

[May Martin]

The seeds. Fortune hates the seeds, Right?

[Tig Notaro]

Gosh. Well, you can skip the berries.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

But I'm real into this. Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

And I haven't even been having my decaf latte or cortada or anything in the morning because I get so excited now to make this smoothie. And I feel so good that it almost feels like my taste buds. My body doesn't even want any sort of coffee beverage.

[May Martin]

Really interesting. And what, you feel energized? You feel.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, I feel really good. But I put unsweetened soy milk.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Half a banana.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mm.

[Tig Notaro]

Chia seeds, hemp seeds, oats, spinach.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Broccoli.

[Fortune Feimster]

Whoa.

[May Martin]

Broccoli.

[Fortune Feimster]

Broccoli.

[Tig Notaro]

Broccoli.

[May Martin]

Lost me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't see broccoli coming. Spinach, I know, is a thing in healthy smoothies, but broccoli is a. Whoa.

[Tig Notaro]

Or here's the other thing. One of a massive cancer fighter is broccoli sprouts.

[May Martin]

Okay. All right.

[Tig Notaro]

And broccoli sprouts. Real good to eat. And so sometimes I'll just put broccoli sprouts in there. And if I don't have broccoli sprouts, I have frozen broccoli that I put in there. I personally also add frozen wild blueberries, raspberries as well.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

And flax seeds. Just. Just a whole tornado of stuff in there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. That sounds like a healthy thing. A smoothie.

[May Martin]

Is it filling up like a. A big cup?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah. It's like a 750 calorie smoothie. It's like massive.

[May Martin]

That's a good way. I'm going to buy a blender.

[Tig Notaro]

I also will put a plant based protein powder in there. Oh, I haven't finished. I also put either peanut butter or almond butter.

[Fortune Feimster]

Ooh, I like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, that's your handsome plate. Oh, and cinnamon. I put cinnamon in there.

[Fortune Feimster]

And is this a meal?

[Tig Notaro]

I'll have that for breakfast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, whether it's my overnight oats or my smoothie. And then, you know, I love a grain bowl. Yeah, yeah. So those are the things that I love.

[May Martin]

And when you're in Toronto, are you doing that smoothie?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yes, I am. And in the. I truly, when I go to bed at night, I cannot wait to wake up and have this smoothie I got.

[May Martin]

When I was filming, I asked catering to make me like a smoothie every morning with all kinds of stuff in it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And I did look forward to it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. It makes me really excited to get up and start my day.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, for you.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're so healthy. I love it.

[Tig Notaro]

I try. But you know what? I also I landed really late. My flight was late the other night. I went to my show. I didn't have time to stop to eat and just ate a big old basket of french fries. So I also sneak in anything like that.

[May Martin]

Fortune. What's on your handsome plate?

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow. Definitely different. Definitely different.

[Tig Notaro]

Orange chicken.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, sign me up.

[Tig Notaro]

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking all state first.

[May Martin]

Like you know to work on your Australian accent before heading on a vacation down under.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary. Terms apply Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois the holidays.

[May Martin]

Are all about connecting with loved ones and there's no better way to do that than with a digital picture frame from Aura. Wirecutter called it the best digital photo frame and it's easy to see why. You can upload your favorite pics of the family to one frame and relive all those happy moments again or share big news like a new addition to the family or something.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I I got one of the aura frames for my kids godparents and they love it because they have moved to Washington state and this is the perfect way for them to get all of the updates of Max and Finn's.

[May Martin]

Live save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get 35 off Aura's best selling carver matte frames by using promo code Handsome at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code handsome. This deal is exclusive to listeners so get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is on my handsome plate? I could have been thinking about this but I was in the moment listening about your very healthy smoothie.

[May Martin]

I was not in the moment listening. I was trying to write my song.

[Fortune Feimster]

I if I'm doing a smoothie I really like almond milk, almond butter dates, banana protein powder. To me that's like a yummy, yummy tastic smoothie.

[May Martin]

This is all this is a lot more complicated than Jelly Jelly Jelly jelly jelly jelly sure is.

[Fortune Feimster]

But their jelly song did make me think of something that's not the the healthiest snack. But I do love it. I'm not going to lie. It is a uncrustable oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh the peanut butter and jelly.

[May Martin]

Yeah, Peanut butter jelly, I think you told me about.

[Tig Notaro]

We talked about that.

[May Martin]

And I. I'd never heard of it. And then I tried it, and I love it.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're amazing. You can get them on set. Usually sets have them because they're very easy, an easy snack. I'm not allowed to buy them at home because they're full of processed things, I'm sure. And.

[Tig Notaro]

Or, yeah, I'm pretty confident about that million percent.

[Fortune Feimster]

So on my plate, I would say I'm going back to. To my standard pad thai. You guys know.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's on my plate like a pad. See you in my belly. Patsy is good, too. Jack, That's Jax's favorite for Thai food. Yeah, mine's. Mine's a pad Thai. That's on my plate, y'all.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, ma'am. With some tofu in there, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I like. Yeah, sometimes I do get chicken. I know I need to be eating less meat. So.

[Tig Notaro]

When I was in Mississippi a couple of years ago, or maybe it was a year ago, who cares? One of my cousins was talking about how disgusting she thought tofu was. And my other cousin genuinely said, baby, don't say that. You're gonna hurt Tig's feelings. And she was like, what? It tastes like you're just chewing on your own thumb.

[May Martin]

Chewing on your own thumb.

[Tig Notaro]

And it made me laugh to think that I was that sensitive, that I'm like, don't talk about tofu like that.

[May Martin]

I love tofu so much.

[Fortune Feimster]

This hurts deep. It cuts me deep.

[Tig Notaro]

So painful. What you said.

[Fortune Feimster]

How. I will ask, why is the tofu in the pad Thai usually kind of hard? And then the tofu in the grocery store is really soft. Is it just different kind?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, you haven't. They haven't fried it yet. I mean, you don't have to fry it. You can roast tofu. You can. You can do many different things.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're frying that, baby.

[Tig Notaro]

Mm.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Do you guys want to hear my song?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, of course. I can't wait.

[May Martin]

Okay. Ready?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

When I'm feeling lonely the feeling sometimes lingers I get a plate and I take out some frozen chicken fingers when my soul is aching and my mood cannot be saved I put some breaded chicken into my microwave Crunchy on the outside, fluffy chicken in between I'm the happiest handsome that the world has ever seen don't care where it came from don't care don't care where it's been as long as it's frozen chicken fingers I'm living the Dream.

[Tig Notaro]

Well done, little cowboy.

[May Martin]

Thanks so much.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, why wasn't it a country song, Little Cowboy?

[May Martin]

Oh, it was kind of on the heaviest.

[Fortune Feimster]

Handsome. Yeah, it was ever seen.

[May Martin]

I went comfort food. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That was may. That's impressive. That is great rhyming.

[Tig Notaro]

You're a real talent.

[Fortune Feimster]

And very. A very short amount of time.

[May Martin]

That was so not impressive. You guys are so nice to me.

[Fortune Feimster]

It is impressive.

[May Martin]

Wow. Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

And our friends would be so impressed, too. When they hear this pod, their mind's.

[May Martin]

Gonna be blown because they're, I hope, Sharon and Bram. I mean, there's a sort of vague hint of depression running through it. There's like an. You know, you can listen. There's a. There's a darkness there. You didn't pick that up with. My soul is aching and my mood cannot be saved.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think I missed that part.

[May Martin]

I think, you guys, you just heard the jaunty melody and you didn't hear the jaunty melody.

[Tig Notaro]

I did not.

[Fortune Feimster]

How did that escape me?

[May Martin]

When I'm feeling lonely, the feeling sometimes lingers. I get a plate and I take out some frozen chicken fingers.

[Tig Notaro]

I have to be honest, when you said lingers, I knew chicken fingers was.

[Fortune Feimster]

Coming as well, and I got excited because I love. I also love chicken fingers.

[May Martin]

Love it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think I was just impressed that you were rhyming lingers and fingers. And I wasn't thinking about the. Under the undertone.

[May Martin]

I had some for lunch today. I had some frozen chicken fingers and an Amy's Microwavable frozen mushroom risotto. I gotta start cooking.

[Fortune Feimster]

Love Amy's.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Having just, like a frozen bean and rice burrito in the freezer is real helpful to just have one of those.

[Fortune Feimster]

Amy's burritos in there.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Now fortune, can you sing? My smoothie take has got a smoothie.

[Fortune Feimster]

It helps with your booty. It's got a lot of things in it that are good for you. It's got broccoli and banana and berries. No poo. Because Tig doesn't like that on her shoes.

[Tig Notaro]

That's so good.

[May Martin]

Yeah, unfortunately.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you come up with that write off?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

I just made it up, too. Wow.

[May Martin]

If I was gonna do a song about your smoothie, Tig, I'd. I'd. Really?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Me. What you got?

[May Martin]

Well, I'd luxuriate around the unsweetened soy milk. So it'd be like. It'd be more like unsweetened soy milk. Like, it'd be really kind of sexy.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Like a loud crown kind of.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, let's hear it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we're waiting.

[May Martin]

Well, if you're wondering what's in my cup, I'll tell you that attracts because I'm combining 25 ingredients with flax.

[Tig Notaro]

That's good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Good.

[May Martin]

Thanks.

[Tig Notaro]

My gosh.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think you should start running jingles.

[Tig Notaro]

Sharon and Bram are gonna feel like we're running them out of town with all this talent.

[Fortune Feimster]

One Canadian's running the other Canadians out of town.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right.

[May Martin]

They look amazing and sound amazing and their voices are so familiar to me. It's like part of my DNA. I love it. I think I saw them live when I was a kid.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, were you did?

[May Martin]

Yeah, they used to do tours and I'm certain I saw them live and I stood up and did the Skin of Merinki Dink. There's a dance that goes with it. I don't remember what it is.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thomas knows who they are too. They were big in Canada, right? I mean, they came down to the States as well. But yeah, I also saw them live as a kid.

[Tig Notaro]

That's hilarious.

[May Martin]

Imagine if you and I didn't know it, that we were next to each.

[Tig Notaro]

Other screaming your heads off.

[May Martin]

Yeah, screaming like we were seeing the Beatles. Thomas faints.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you think that's where your love of jingles and rhyming songs started?

[May Martin]

I didn't know I had a love question.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune.

[May Martin]

Yeah, great.

[Tig Notaro]

Good question.

[May Martin]

I didn't know hard hitting journalism.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. You didn't know that that was a skill you possessed?

[May Martin]

No, no, not till this very moment.

[Tig Notaro]

Look down at that paper. Yeah, because it's right there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Look down, little cowboy, and see what you're capable of.

[May Martin]

But if I listen back to this episode, I'm going to be embarrassed because I'm going to notice that when you guys are talking, I'm just like, huh. Well, yeah, we gave you that assignment. Yeah, that's true. It was an assignment. Yeah. Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

So that's okay.

[May Martin]

Do you guys show love with food? Like cooking for someone?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think they would think I was showing hate because they tasted something I made. They be like, why do you hate me?

[May Martin]

Why do you hate me?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not a good cook. I know. You said Stephanie's a good cook.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, she. She. She got into to cooking and, and.

[May Martin]

Loves her own cooking. That's what I love about.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, she loves it. So she can't believe how good every meal is that she makes. It's so funny. I mean, no notes. She has no notes for herself.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love that. That's impressive too.

[Tig Notaro]

So Great. She did make some. Some type of loaf once that was sweating.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. Did you tell her you didn't care for it?

[Tig Notaro]

No. We were laughing so hard when she took it out of the oven and is truly sweating.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And I have to say, we laugh at the house still about Thomas, because he has been around for so long in our lives, like, as an assistant and, like, when the babies were born, and he's just been around forever. And Stephanie will every now and then be like, oh, my God, I can't believe the things that Thomas ate. Like, we would just turn and be like, thomas, do you want this? And he'd be like, yes, please. But that's how, like, when you have kids and babies, you're just cleaning up scraps and, like, what they don't eat. And that was kind of our diet for a few years. It was like, I would say me, Stephanie, and Thomas lived off of, like, crust and Mac, you know, Mac and cheese and jelly and jelly.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jelly.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. But, yeah, every now and then it comes up of, like, the things that Thomas ate that Max and Finn didn't eat. But, I mean, we did, too. It's just. He's not their parent.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[May Martin]

He just.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, he was just there. We were like, do you want this?

[Fortune Feimster]

Sure.

[Tig Notaro]

Thomas, do you have that memory as well? For sure.

[May Martin]

And I. I had three younger brothers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Growing up, so I think it just.

[May Martin]

Came automatically, like, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Ollie. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Are you a picky eater?

[Tig Notaro]

Not anymore.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was as a kid.

[Tig Notaro]

I was so picky. Pickles and cheese. That was what I lived off of.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Because you were how old when you became vegan?

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, I. Like, it's been eight years, I think.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, okay.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Were you vegetarian before that?

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, you went from eating everything to vegan?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I. I ate whatever. And then after I was sick, I was still having, like, pain, and people just had recommended that I try eating plant based. And I read about it and tried it out and then never turned back.

[May Martin]

I know it's in my future. I'm just kind of holding off till the moment comes. But I know it is in my future. But right now it's these frozen chicken fingers. You can get pretty good fake chicken fingers, though.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. We have once a week, Max and Finn have these little chicken nuggets that are so good. Yes, they're so good. But it's after they have baseball practice because their friends used to all go to this little restaurant and have chicken nuggets and they had these vegan chicken nuggets And Stephanie found them in the store. The exact kind that the restaurant had.

[May Martin]

Oh, man, I wish somebody would, like, organize my life into rituals like that. Like the way when you're a kid, you're like, on Wednesday we do this. And then I have my baseball on this day.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was like a nugget day.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Time for a nugget.

[May Martin]

A nugget day. Sounds good. And. And I wish someone once a day would tell me it's bath time. That would be really good, Tig.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I just text you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. So if your derriere and the hot water, you know what time it is. It's bath time. Hey, baby, it's bath time.

[May Martin]

Please.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not gonna lie. I like a bath, too. I'm a bath person.

[Tig Notaro]

I love a bath.

[May Martin]

Love it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Love it. Bath bomb. I'll go into that expensive ass bath bomb store and pick one up.

[Tig Notaro]

With your face mask on. You don't care. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm like, this is $12. That's crazy. I'll take it.

[May Martin]

I'm doing bath bombs on the plane in that little sink.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do have a surprise for you guys. Now, I know Sharon and Bram, they. They technically asked the question and told us an answer all.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But they didn't want to leave us hanging at the end. And I don't. I don't want to spoil the surprise here in person, like the Indigo Girls. Here's a little extra treat for.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

For us.

[Tig Notaro]

Let's hear it.

[May Martin]

I love you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love you, Fortune. I love you. I love you too.

[May Martin]

I love you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love you, May.

[May Martin]

I love you too.

[Tig Notaro]

Boop, boop, boop.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

What a day.

[May Martin]

That is huge.

[Fortune Feimster]

May you have tears in your eyes.

[May Martin]

I actually do like that. That is really incredible.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did you hear? I don't know if you could hear it. Bram said a.

[May Martin]

He did.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like a Canadian.

[May Martin]

Oh, I also got. Look, I'm actually tearing up. I. I got really nervous when they did Fortune and Take. For some reason I thought they're not going to say much. They don't.

[Fortune Feimster]

Come on.

[May Martin]

They're not going to say.

[Tig Notaro]

We asked them to not include you, but they insisted.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, man.

[May Martin]

I'm gonna really treasure that forever.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you can. We'll send you the video and everything. You can have it. So whenever you're having a bad day, you can pull that out and remember that you're loved.

[May Martin]

Boop, boop, boo.

[Fortune Feimster]

I always think it's such an interesting thing, those. Those full circle moments like that where you can, like, Think of yourself like as a kid, oh my God, listening to them. And here we are, grown ass adults, seriously, still wooed by the magic of those songs.

[May Martin]

And if I could go, yeah, if I could go back in time to being at their live show and hearing them say my name, oh my God, I would have freaked. That's amazing.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just appreciate that they so fully backed me up about Joe and the Button Factory.

[May Martin]

Yeah, they were like, this is real and it's a huge hit and this is how it goes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, big hit.

[May Martin]

I thought that might be the surprise that they were going to sing the Button song. It could. Blew it out of the water.

[Fortune Feimster]

You can go. You can go on their. Their socials. And they have that video of them singing Joe and the. Joe. What is it called? Joe the Button Shrinky.

[May Martin]

Button Maker. Joe the Button Maker.

[Fortune Feimster]

My name is Joe. I think.

[May Martin]

That was the show equivalent of like if Paul McCartney sent us a video and instead of singing hey Jude, he's saying like, hey, Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, you know, hey May.

[May Martin]

Oh, I got goosebumps.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, Tig, do you know what hey Jude is about?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. Is this a tig fact?

[May Martin]

Is it about Julian Lennon?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[May Martin]

I love that he wrote about John's son, Julian.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's sweet.

[May Martin]

I love it. And did you know St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh. Did not know that either.

[Tig Notaro]

What an odd thing.

[May Martin]

There's some weird saints, man. I mean, that's a beautiful poetic one. But there' Saint Cyny is this patron saint of rabied dogs.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, that makes sense.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you guys want more Panda Express facts?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, please.

[May Martin]

Yes, please.

[Fortune Feimster]

The owners are a couple and they've been married for like 47 years and they're college sweethearts.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I love that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, everyone knows that one, though.

[May Martin]

I think I might order from there tonight.

[Fortune Feimster]

Again, not sponsored by pandexpress. Just happen to know these random facts.

[Tig Notaro]

Well. Well, I feel like we really nailed it with this episode. I mean, what a podcast, guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Share your favorite episodes with all of your favorite friends and family. And let's continue to grow the community. Subscribe. Review Rate.

[May Martin]

Pick up some. We have some wicked merch on our website. Some really good stuff.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're not selling merch for the movie Wicked. It's just Wicked. Merge.

[May Martin]

We've decided to sell merch from the movie.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love that.

[Tig Notaro]

We also have a live streaming holiday extravaganza on December 21st. Yes, we want you to be there, so get your ticket now at our social media pages or dynasty typewriter.com have a viewing party dress like a handsome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Host tag, which so many people did on Halloween, by the way.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, I love.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cool.

[Tig Notaro]

That was.

[May Martin]

I loved it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know why people were putting a pillow in their costume for me, but whatevs.

[May Martin]

I don't know why. When people were doing my hair, they were often wearing like a Princess Diana wig. Almost like it was hilarious blonde.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, yeah, I don't know why people.

[Tig Notaro]

Are dressed like their grandfather.

[Fortune Feimster]

For me, I did see some mustaches, which was hilarious.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But yeah, we're going to be in our home that, you know, Dynasty typewriter home base with all the great equipment. So it's going to be smooth sailing.

[Tig Notaro]

If you're in Toronto, come to Comedy Bar and check me out. Working out my new material. I pretty much live there.

[May Martin]

I'm at Largo a couple of times a month, so check out my Instagram. I'm also doing a benefit in Toronto on the 15th for Birdsong foundation, so check that out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you to all the people who've watched my special on Netflix. Crushing it. Please continue to watch it because any viewing helps. And yeah, watch it and then just.

[May Martin]

Like leave it playing in the background over.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, and if you don't have time.

[Fortune Feimster]

To watch it right now, just turn it on because the first few weeks are on Netflix. Very, very important. So yeah, if you know you're gonna watch it with your family over the holidays, just turn it on now. Yeah, and you can get to it then. And also, I just announced a bunch of tour dates for my new tour that will be starting in the new year.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, we did it again. And until next time, I mean, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin and Fortune Themester. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] follow us on social media at Handsome Pod what a podcast.

[May Martin]

What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Handsomes, the audio version of my comedy special hello Again is available everywhere. Just in time for the holidays. Go to tigotaro.com to get a copy for you and a loved one.

[May Martin]

Now some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

[Tig Notaro]

Like you know to check your phone for a new pretty little episode before you start your Friday.

[May Martin]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, IL from your fryer to the table It's a quick trip for.

[Tig Notaro]

Crispy fries, but how about a crosstown delivery?

[May Martin]

McCain sure.

[Tig Notaro]

Crisp fries are designed to go from.

[May Martin]

Fryer to container to carrier to passenger.

[Tig Notaro]

Seat across town during rush hour, down.

[Fortune Feimster]

A shortcut that wasn't all that short.

[Tig Notaro]

To a doorstep before they hit the table. And that first bite? The crispiness speaks for itself. To the last bite, McCain's SureCrisp fries go the distance. See how far our fries can take your [e-mail] delivery.