Handsome Podcast: "Tom Papa Asks About Stolen Gifts"

Original Air Date: February 3, 2026
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Guest Question-Asker: Tom Papa
Episode Theme: Have you ever stolen something and given it as a gift (without telling the recipient)?

Episode Overview

This episode of "Handsome" revolves around a mischievous query from comedian Tom Papa: Have you ever stolen something and gifted it to someone without their knowledge? Tig, Fortune, and Mae take this as their jumping-off point, swapping stories about questionable gifts, childhood mischief, fake jewelry, and the ethics of gifting something with a shady backstory. Along the way, they connect over hilarious tales and more than a few tangents about party behavior, driving mishaps, and famous crushes.

Hosts’ Catch-up and Anecdotes

Fortune’s Movie Adventures and Famous Passengers

• Film Update: Fortune shares her first day filming a new "lady-led comedy" after coming off a "dude-heavy" golf show with Will Ferrell. She reflects on adjusting her comedic performance ("You want to be funny, but not annoyingly over the top." — Fortune, 03:29).
• Driving on Set: Fortune describes the nerve-racking task of driving Kim Kardashian in a truck—this time for real, not on a trailer ("Were you driving for real?" — Mae, 04:16). She also recalls driving Jennifer Garner in an ambulance ("Had all the camera people in the back," 04:47) and a speedboat with no prior experience.
• The hosts joke about the "butchest episode" (05:45), full of stories about parking, throttles, and vehicles.

Tig and Mae: Touring, Periods, and Speed Art for Charity

• Touring and Projects: Tig updates the group on her "Minor Market Tour," performances in smaller cities, and the intense promotion of her Star Trek project and an Oscar-contemplated documentary (08:15).
• Unique Tour Collab: Tig tours with Amy Berkman, a speed artist and cancer survivor, who paints live upside-down portraits for charity auctions ("She paints a portrait within under 10 minutes and then we auction it off at the show to raise money for charity. And...we raised like $15,000 a show." — Tig, 10:45).
• Keeping it Real: Tig describes balancing creative projects and the exhaustion of industry schmoozing.

Mae’s Prank Show and Personal Updates

• Surprise Show with Lisa Gilroy: Mae recounts a prank show with Lisa where each has to surprise the other. Her prank: secretly spending a day at Universal Studios with Lisa’s husband, followed by a surprise, jealousy-inducing slideshow (13:54).
• Comeuppance: Lisa retaliates by filming a romantic sketch with Mae’s own father, contacting him herself and producing a flirtatious, cringingly hilarious video. The hosts howl with laughter as Mae shares clips:
  "I'm sorry, darling. I missed you, baby. I've missed you, too." — impersonating Mae's dad, 16:57.
• Personal Progress: Mae celebrates getting more comfortable as a new driver ("I'm way better now, guys. And I'm glad you didn't get in my car when I first got it." — Mae, 21:36) and jokes about her first make-out in a car.

Memorable Conversations & Quotes

Kissing, Celebrity Crushes, and Cheese in Pockets

• Party Kisser vs. Pocket Cheese: The hosts riff on party hookups, with Tig and Fortune claiming they’re not "party kissers," and Mae expressing disbelief at anyone being able to reject Angelina Jolie.
• "I have cheese in my pocket": A spontaneous running gag emerges—Fortune declares this would be her excuse to avoid a kiss from Angelina ("That is now the let-down line." — Tig, 26:43). It soon spirals into merch ideas and possible t-shirts ("On the front: party kisser; on the back: I got cheese in my pocket." — Tig, 30:53).
• First Kisses and Public Smooches: Tig tells the romantic tale of her first kiss with her wife Stephanie at La Poubelle in LA, coincidentally on Valentine’s Day, both wearing Canadian sweaters and captured on camera (37:17–42:10).
  • "As soon as we touched each other, we started making out." — Tig, 38:29
• La Poubelle Language Goof: Mae realizes the restaurant’s name means "the garbage" in French, prompting jokes about "garbage makeouts" (56:36).

Main Theme: Stolen Gifts (Prompted by Tom Papa)

Tom Papa’s Question (43:40)

• "Have you ever at any point in your life, at any age, stolen something and then given that as a gift to someone else and you never told them?"

Hosts’ Confessions and Stories

Fortune Feimster

• Trash to Treasure: As a child, Fortune took a used cross-stitched "Bless This Home" decoration from the curb and gave it to her mother for her birthday—without washing it.
  • "It even had a little... it had gotten some dings being in the trash... I'm sure she was like, 'Thanks.' Because you could tell that was used." (46:52)
• She suspects her mother threw it right back in the trash.

Tig Notaro

• The Casual Booze Heist: At an industry party, Tig was dared to casually walk up and take a bottle of scotch from the bar to give to a friend. She did it with aplomb—no one noticed.
  • "The dare was go up and just casually pick that up, just bring it over to me..." (51:42)
• Kitten Caper: As a kid, Tig once stole a kitten from a pet store and gave it to a friend whose bedsheet matched the kitten’s fur ("She named her kitten Bedspread and she kept it." — Tig, 61:11).

Mae Martin

• The Stolen (Fake) Tiffany’s: In 7th grade, Mae’s classmate gave her a necklace he claimed was from Tiffany’s. She later learned (in front of their peers) he had stolen it from a cheap mall kiosk (52:53).
  • "I was just so deeply moved by it. And then...they all started laughing...he stole it from the mall from a crappy cart." (53:01)

Tom Papa (Answer & Story) [58:13–60:23]

• Tom confesses he once stole a small cup from a gift shop as a child to gift to his grandmother. She cherished it for decades and displayed it on her "little grandma corner shelf," and Tom still has the mug.
  • "That little mug sat on that shelf...I stole that. But it made her happy. So was I wrong?"
  • He produces the mug at the end:
    "Guess what? This is it. That's the mug." (60:04)

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• "You want to be funny, but not like, annoyingly over the top." — Fortune, 03:29
• "She paints a portrait within under 10 minutes and then we auction it off at the show to raise money for charity. And...we raised like $15,000 a show." — Tig, 10:45
• "I got cheese in my pocket." — (Recurs 26:41–28:00; running joke)
• "As soon as we touched each other, we started making out...our first kiss is captured." — Tig, 38:29
• "I was like, my mom's never going to know that this is not real, these trash gifts." — Fortune, 56:09
• "I stole a whole ass kitten." — Tig, 61:21

Listener Interaction & Merch Gags

• The hosts repeatedly brainstorm new "Handsome" merch—shirts that say "Party Kisser" or "I Got Cheese in My Pocket", and joke about the recurring absurdity of their weekly conversations (30:00–31:13).
• They reminisce about how listeners send them cross stitch and crochet items—some of which Fortune keeps on her (aspirational future) shelf (49:13).

Conclusion & Final Thoughts

• The episode wraps up with Tig sharing upcoming tour dates; Fortune and Mae do the same. Each expresses gratitude for their audience, encouraging listeners to subscribe and share favorite episodes (63:05–64:44).
• The group laughs about the theme of trash gifts, cheese, kissing, and "garbage makeouts," tying it all back to childhood lessons, odd party habits, and the joy of a little mischief when gifting someone you love.
• Tom returns to admit he did indeed steal that grandmother’s mug, "but it made her happy. Was I wrong?" (60:00).

For New Listeners: Why You Should Listen

Come for the outright silliness; stay for the surprising moments of warmth, honesty, and relatable stories about human foibles and unexpected acts of affection—even if they sometimes involve minor larceny, cheese in unexpected places, or the mystery of a trash-picked gift.