Toni Collette asks about inappropriate songs

Summary

Podcast Summary: Handsome Episode Featuring Toni Collette's Question on Inappropriate Songs

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Podcast Information:

• Title: Handsome
• Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, May Martin
• Description: "Handsome" is a weekly podcast where comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and May Martin tackle a variety of questions from friends, sharing stories and laughs along the way.
• Episode: Toni Collette asks about inappropriate songs
• Release Date: December 17, 2024

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Introduction to the Episode

The episode begins with the hosts engaging in light-hearted banter, sharing personal anecdotes about everyday challenges and humorous situations. They set a relaxed and conversational tone, preparing listeners for an engaging discussion on the main topic posed by their guest, Toni Collette.

Sibling Relationships and Childhood Stories

Fortune Feimster shares a vivid story about pulling a prank during a spooky movie night at an Airbnb, highlighting the playful yet sometimes tense dynamics among friends and siblings. May Martin contributes by reminiscing about her rough-and-tumble relationship with her brothers, recounting instances of childhood fights and the emotional aftermath.

• Notable Quote:
  • Fortune Feimster at [04:16]: "We were at an Airbnb in Big Bear in the middle of the forest... I had my friend save my number in her phone as Mike, Airbnb owner."

May Martin and Tig Notaro further delve into their childhood experiences with siblings, sharing humorous and relatable stories about sibling rivalries, physical confrontations, and the unique bonds formed through these interactions.

Acting Experiences and Working with Toni Collette

The conversation shifts to the hosts' professional lives, with Fortune Feimster discussing her recent experience working with Toni Collette on her new show, "Wayward." She praises Collette's remarkable acting skills and describes the supportive and humorous environment on set.

• Notable Quote:
  • Fortune Feimster at [35:25]: "She's so good at playing those dramatic ladies. When we were filming, me and my co-star Sarah were getting really excited to work with Toni Collette."

Tig Notaro shares her anticipation and excitement about collaborating with Collette, highlighting the professional growth and inspiration drawn from working alongside such a talented actress.

• Notable Quote:
  • Tig Notaro at [38:20]: "I was a little like, whoa, I gotta really step it up here... But the nice thing is, so far, she's been nothing but an absolute delight."

Main Discussion: Inappropriate Songs from Childhood

The core of the episode revolves around Toni Collette's question: "Which song when you're a kid did you like, belt out at the top of your lungs only to realize later in life that it was really inappropriate because it was highly sexualized?"

Fortune Feimster, May Martin, and Tig Notaro reflect on various songs from their childhood that they now view as sexually suggestive or inappropriate. They explore the disconnect between innocent enjoyment as children and the mature understanding of the song's true meanings.

• Fortune Feimster's Response:

  • Song: "Roxanne"
  • Insight: Initially unaware of its sexual undertones, Fortune now recognizes the song's themes related to sex work.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Fortune Feimster at [43:18]: "Roxanne... You don't have to run the red light. Sell your something for money."

• May Martin's Response:

  • Song: "I'm a Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera
  • Insight: Belting out the chorus as a child, May later understood the song's explicit sexual connotations.
  • Notable Quote:
    • May Martin at [43:56]: "I'm a genie in a bottle, baby... Very horny that one."

• Tig Notaro's Response:

  • Song: "My Sharona" by The Knack
  • Insight: Initially didn’t grasp the implications of desiring a younger woman expressed in the lyrics.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Tig Notaro at [39:54]: "It's about desiring a younger woman."

Reflecting on Lyrics and Cultural Impact

The hosts discuss how certain songs, while catchy and enjoyable, carry deeper meanings that may not be immediately apparent to younger listeners. They emphasize the importance of understanding lyrical content and how societal norms influence the perception of music over time.

• Notable Quote:
  • May Martin at [48:18]: "The problem is when there's a catchy song and you... You're not really paying attention to... the main part."

Concluding Thoughts and Future Plans

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts transition to promoting their upcoming live shows and personal projects. They express excitement about engaging with their audience in person and hint at future topics and guest appearances.

• Notable Quote:
  • Fortune Feimster at [55:21]: "Wow, what a journey we've been on today. Yeah, I've really enjoyed this."

Insights and Takeaways

• Nostalgia vs. Maturity: The episode highlights the gap between the innocent enjoyment of music in childhood and the mature understanding of their meanings as adults.
• Cultural Awareness: It underscores the importance of being aware of lyrical content and how it shapes our perception of songs over time.
• Shared Experiences: The hosts' personal stories about sibling relationships and professional experiences create a relatable and engaging narrative for listeners.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Fortune Feimster [04:16]: "We were at an Airbnb in Big Bear in the middle of the forest... I had my friend save my number in her phone as Mike, Airbnb owner."
2. Fortune Feimster [35:25]: "She's so good at playing those dramatic ladies."
3. Tig Notaro [38:20]: "I was a little like, whoa, I gotta really step it up here... But the nice thing is, so far, she's been nothing but an absolute delight."
4. Fortune Feimster [43:18]: "Roxanne... You don't have to run the red light. Sell your something for money."
5. May Martin [43:56]: "I'm a genie in a bottle, baby... Very horny that one."
6. Tig Notaro [39:54]: "It's about desiring a younger woman."
7. May Martin [48:18]: "The problem is when there's a catchy song and you... You're not really paying attention to... the main part."
8. Fortune Feimster [55:21]: "Wow, what a journey we've been on today. Yeah, I've really enjoyed this."

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Conclusion: This episode of "Handsome" offers listeners a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful reflections on how childhood perceptions of music can change with maturity. The engaging dialogue among Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and May Martin, coupled with their candid sharing of experiences, makes for an entertaining and insightful listen.

Transcript

[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Handsome chatting with friends on the Handsome Pot Chatting with friends on the handsome Handsome Pod.

[May Martin]

Cheers. Cheers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I am your one of three of your handsome hosts, May Martin, joined as always by the most studly handsome people in my life.

[Tig Notaro]

It's Tig Notaro, your studly handsome co host of the podcast. And we also have somebody else who is, I mean at the moment. Gun show going on over here. Go to YouTube.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's Fortune Feaster.

[May Martin]

Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

You're really showing off your guns there. Guns meaning arms. Muscular arms. Go to YouTube.

[May Martin]

Part of it's just my jacket. I'm also showing off my headset once again.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love it. I love to see it.

[May Martin]

This is 91 1. What's your emergency, please?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm. I. I dropped. I spilled something.

[May Martin]

I can't understand what you're saying. Could you please.

[Tig Notaro]

I feel like 911 operators should be answering like hello 91 1, right? Just to kind of like join in on your Panic.

[Fortune Feimster]

And, you know, it's so, like, condescending almost. The way they're.

[May Martin]

The most infuriating ones, though, is when someone's like, there's someone in the next room. He's got a gun. And they're like, what it. What's happening?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Yeah.

[May Martin]

A guy in the next room with a gun. Ma'am, you're gonna have to calm down. I can't. Those.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah. That's why they should answer being, oh, God.

[May Martin]

He is.

[Tig Notaro]

He's in the other room. Oh, my. Do you know him?

[May Martin]

She's.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know what you should do, but is there a bed you could get under? You know, just complete and utter panic.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God, what a tough job. Who wants that?

[Tig Notaro]

No, I don't want it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I am home. Intruders is really scary.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, but I mean. Yeah, I mean, is there anyone that's like, no, it's.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I can cycle.

[May Martin]

Oh, this old guy. Come on in.

[Tig Notaro]

Or this gaggle of guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, God.

[May Martin]

I'm just going to assume it's a man.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I watched this horror movie called the Strangers, and it was basically just a nightmare. It was that. It was just a couple in a house and then two people breaking in. It was horrific. But I did a really good prank on my friends during it.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did I tell you this already?

[May Martin]

No, I'm not sure. I can't keep up with pranks.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll give it a whirl. So we were at an Airbnb in Big Bear in the middle of the forest. Everyone spooked out already, and we were watching this spooky movie, and me and my friend were in on it. They're about seven people there. And so I had my friend save my number in her phone as Mike, Airbnb owner. So then we were watching this horror movie, and then I text secretly, hi, Allie. I saw that you rented a movie on my Amazon account. Bad behavior, period. And then she was like, guys, I just got this weird message from the Airbnb owner. And so she responds, everyone's like, oh, just say you'll add it to the bill. She goes, oh, sorry about that, Mike. Just add it to our bill, please. And I wrote back, good girl, period.

[May Martin]

No creepy, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

So she's like. He said, good girl, what? And everyone's like, what? That's so gross. And then I said, my brother and I really. This property is really important to my brother and I. And I started talking about me and my brother. And then I. Then I was. Everyone was screaming, and then I was like, have you.

[May Martin]

Oh, I'm packing up the car. Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I was saying, like, have you locked the windows and doors? And then I sent a photograph of two skeletons watching a movie.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I said. I said, me and my brother are watching a movie too.

[Tig Notaro]

And when did you reveal that it was.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, what happened was this guy. No, this friend of ours got so stressed out that he. He grabbed Ali's phone. He said, I'm gonna. I'm gonna text him from my number and say, this is so inappropriate. You're messaging, you know, and so he. He starts inputting the number in his phone. And then as he put the number in, my name came up because.

[May Martin]

Hilarious.

[Fortune Feimster]

But it was really. I thought. I thought Good Girl was really inspired because that.

[May Martin]

That is creepy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Borderline. But it could be real.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah, for sure. Well, anything in a movie, in a.

[Fortune Feimster]

Scary movie, do you think?

[May Martin]

Yeah, you should write one because you like scary stuff. I know you're the. Your Netflix show. Has that been to it. Like a thriller.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's spooky.

[May Martin]

Write a full on scary movie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like a slash room. If the three of us were in.

[May Martin]

With lesbians and play fortunes, drag queens. All the, all the good stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

You should do a movie based on a Mad Libs.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. I got the plot of the movie via Mad Lib.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

By just inputting a group.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, that's it. You just fill in Mad Libs and then you write the movie.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's like a group of people are in a blank, stinky, stinky house. Who do you think would survive in a slasher situation at a remote Airbnb out of the three of us?

[Tig Notaro]

Me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I knew that before I even finished the sentence. I knew that was the truth.

[Tig Notaro]

You know why? Here's my secret to survival. If somebody were to attack me, I would just get on my back. I'd get on the ground, get on my back, and just start kicking my legs. Nobody can get to me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, that's really good.

[Tig Notaro]

Just flailing about, just kicking my leg. Just problem solved. But now I've announced it to the world.

[May Martin]

I know they're gonna know that.

[Tig Notaro]

And now. Yeah, everybody knows how to get out of a slasher film. How to live through it.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's really good.

[Tig Notaro]

Not your hands. It's your.

[May Martin]

I know. Your hands would be doing something too, right?

[Tig Notaro]

No, they'd be like behind my head, just relaxing.

[May Martin]

Just legs. You're not even fighting anyone off your face.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[May Martin]

Well, you got.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys both have strong legs because you got.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah, I got very Strong legs.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Oh, man. Maybe fortune would live through this.

[May Martin]

I do have some sexy legs. If we're giving ourselves a pat on the back for anything.

[Tig Notaro]

A pat on the calf.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Pat McCav.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's Pat McCard. Can that be somebody's drag queen name? Pat McCaffrey.

[May Martin]

Pat McAv. I got some gams.

[Tig Notaro]

And you're not a.

[May Martin]

Scared.

[Tig Notaro]

You're not scared.

[May Martin]

I'm not afraid to use them. No, I will. No, I've never thought about the laying down and flailing my legs about, but, yeah, good work.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, for sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did you guys ever. With a sibling or like, you're sitting on a couch with your feet facing each other so your backs are again. And you're just kicking each other and kicking each other's feet.

[Tig Notaro]

But your Max and Finn were just doing that last night before bed.

[May Martin]

Oh, funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what that gives me? That makes me. I'm like, okay, it still happens. Siblings are still.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

How many of that red brothers would just, like, punch me in the stomach and move on?

[Fortune Feimster]

Baseball bat to the stomach.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you ever get any good clubbing in?

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah. We would fight like, fistfights.

[Fortune Feimster]

Seriously?

[May Martin]

Yeah. I was intense.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can really picture you being like, God, guys, come on.

[May Martin]

Well, then I would cry. I would act tough, and then eventually they'd hurt me too much and I'd cry.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, same.

[May Martin]

And I'm like, I hate you. My brothers were rough and tumble. They did not give me. They did not play daintily with me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Nor did mine. Mine would beat me to a pulp. And then I would take my stuffed monkey zip, who had a plastic face and plastic hands and plastic feet, and I just swirl that at him.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. And hope that you'd, like, clip him with the.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

My mom would make them take me with them to play in the neighborhood. They're like, oh, God.

[Tig Notaro]

She'd make them take you?

[May Martin]

Yeah. And my oldest brother is almost seven years older than me, so can you.

[Tig Notaro]

Imagine what a buzzkill?

[May Martin]

Total buzzkill. I would sit in between him and his girlfriend on dates. He was like, oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

My brother was very docile and. And gentle. But then we did go through a phase where he would provoke me to the point of me hitting him. I mean, not that I'm blaming him. Victim blaming. But, like, I was like, maybe 11.

[May Martin]

Me hit you?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, he would do it. I swear. He would. He would just provoke me. He'd go. I'd go, can you pass the juice? And he'd go, yeah, sure. And then he'd pass it so slowly like that, or. And I would just lose my mind.

[May Martin]

A slow passing of the juice. Yeah. Infuriated.

[Tig Notaro]

You went through hell.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you're right. I was the bully.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess the amount of time it took for the juice to reach you.

[May Martin]

This is mean.

[Tig Notaro]

Everything about you makes sense now, mate.

[Fortune Feimster]

But he would wait until I snapped, and then he'd immediately go, I'm telling Mom. I'm telling Mom. And then I'd be bawling going, please don't tell her. And it was this, like, toxic psych.

[Tig Notaro]

Did she ever find out?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, one time she came home from dinner or whatever, and Joe said Mae kicked me, and it was a big deal. But then the one time that he did snap, it was. He used to paint these little figurines, like Warhammer, you know, like, do Max and Finn do. Like, orcs and goblins.

[Tig Notaro]

And I haven't come across an Orc or a goblin.

[May Martin]

What is it?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, guys, I don't know.

[May Martin]

I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thomas is with me. The Canadian nerds are. An orc is a. Well, Tolkien, I guess, invented the Orc, specifically. It's like a kind of. Well, they're spawned in Mordor.

[May Martin]

In the Mordor.

[Fortune Feimster]

In the bowels of a mountain. And they're kind of like ogry Vile.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm Mord.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, yeah, fair enough. Anyway, my brother painstakingly painted these figurines. And one day, I was kicking my legs, and I accidentally. It was just an accident. Accident. Knocked over the whole shelf.

[May Martin]

Oh, no.

[Fortune Feimster]

And all these freshly painted orcs, they're. You know. And he.

[May Martin]

The freshly painted Orc.

[Tig Notaro]

What a nightmare.

[Fortune Feimster]

But he had never lost his temper with me really, before. And he just walked over to me calmly put his hands around my throat and started squeezing.

[May Martin]

And I was like, my God, that's like a serial killer kind of. I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like, he's gonna kill me.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's. He always seemed. The neighbors were always so nice and quiet.

[May Martin]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tig Notaro]

And then I knocked over their Orc.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, that was.

[May Martin]

That's.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, I know Mork from Orc.

[Fortune Feimster]

Mork is an alien.

[Tig Notaro]

I know. I used to watch the show. I'm just saying, that's the only time I heard of Orc. Was Mork from Orc?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, was his planet called Orc?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, this is like.

[May Martin]

I didn't know either.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, boy. You didn't know Mork was from Orc?

[May Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow. Okay. Look at me knowing TV trivia.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

From the 70s.

[May Martin]

Those were the days.

[Tig Notaro]

So May. You were Telling us some exciting news before we started. And I said, save it for the podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I mean, I've been just closely guarding this news, so it just. But it happened yesterday, so I've only guarded it for, I guess, 12 hours, but I bought a house. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

So exciting. Thanks.

[May Martin]

Great.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, we're still. There's, like, inspections.

[May Martin]

Right, Right. You gotta get through a couple things.

[Fortune Feimster]

A couple of things? It is on the side of a cliff, and it may be not structurally sound.

[May Martin]

Oh, no. Well, then you definitely want to get the insp. Through the inspections before closing that deal.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[May Martin]

If it is not structurally sound, that's an expensive thing to fix.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

So just make sure that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I. I think the city is repairing the cliff next year.

[May Martin]

Oh, shit.

[Fortune Feimster]

So.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, well. So you have a year to hope you don't slide down. God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Fingers crossed. No earthquakes in the next year.

[May Martin]

But you're. But you love the place. You're. You must have. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Tell us about the place.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I mean, I'm 37. I've. There have been a couple of moments in my life where I felt like I should have just got a little place, got on the ladder, and instead I. Bough. Bought T shirts and.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And Ubers, and so I was like, you know, you do love an Uber.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, you love to pull up in a long, black stretch Uber.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is.

[Tig Notaro]

Even if it's a coffee.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You take those big black SUV ones. Expensive ones.

[Fortune Feimster]

I hate that you guys have noticed that about me.

[May Martin]

Are you kidding me? Just coming to our pod in a black suv. I'm like, mae's got some Monet.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Go to coffee. And the big old black SUV pulls.

[May Martin]

Up like, that's the most expensive of the Uber categories.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what the issue is? There's. They're often the ones that are fastest to come, and. And I have real time management problems. And it'll be like, we haven't noticed that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that hasn't come up.

[May Martin]

What are you. What is this?

[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

Like you know how to check and make sure your car has snow tires before heading up the mountain in the wintertime.

[Tig Notaro]

Y check in first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary. Terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois I do black cars.

[May Martin]

To the airport because they have all those rules now, but I'm not opposed to a comfort Uber.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I take an Eco Green.

[May Martin]

Oh yeah, like a Prius or something?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's nice of you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, now that I have made this larger purchase, you better believe I'm not taking any more Uber blacks. I'm scared.

[May Martin]

You got to pinch some pennies for a second because.

[Fortune Feimster]

But it's just a little bit.

[May Martin]

You got to make sure the structure is good first of all.

[Fortune Feimster]

Make sure the structure is good.

[May Martin]

Then hopefully it closes. Then you got to furnish it. How many bedrooms?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's just. It's a little two bedroom bungalow and then it has a little back house.

[May Martin]

Perfect.

[Fortune Feimster]

And it's super. It's 100 years old, I realized.

[Tig Notaro]

100 exactly.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that's.

[Tig Notaro]

This is its hundredth birthday.

[Fortune Feimster]

Happy birthday.

[Tig Notaro]

Happy birthday house.

[May Martin]

Happy birthday to you.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my gosh. It must have been eating a Blue Zone diet.

[May Martin]

I hope that you survive this hill for one more year.

[Tig Notaro]

I know when it turns 101, it just slides down the hill.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh my God. Maybe I'm picturing me in my little nightie and nightcap just sliding down that.

[May Martin]

Hill and your Pontius, if this inspection is like the house is in pretty good shape. It could fall down this hill. You might take it. You might have to pull out of this.

[Tig Notaro]

Take it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just Know myself, and I know I'll just take the risk, but I realized how little I know about any of this stuff. Like, it's got these old hardwood floors. And I was like, an old hardwood floor? I love it. And I was like, they're. My friend was like, oh, maybe you should replace them. And I was like, no, there's cracks, but we'll just get some grouting. And we got to do the grouting. She was like, you don't grout hardwood.

[May Martin]

I don't grout wood.

[Fortune Feimster]

I thought you grouted everything with cracks.

[Tig Notaro]

You get the house, you start grouting that wood.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I say wait. To make sure that the house isn't.

[Tig Notaro]

No, no, no. Go for it.

[May Martin]

We get it. Get yourself some grout report first. No, you are getting a structure, a person to come specifically to check the structure, right? Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. Get a bucket of grout.

[Fortune Feimster]

Bucket of me in a bucket. I don't even need furniture. I just.

[Tig Notaro]

I bet it's on the grout bucket.

[May Martin]

It's probably got a cool view, huh?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a really nice view of. It's in Silver Lake. And it just looks.

[Tig Notaro]

Imagine the view when you're on the. Is there a balcony?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. A little balcony? Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And imagine the view, like, when you're. Yeah. And you're on the porch, and then it, like, slides down the mountain. Like, imagine that view when you're like.

[May Martin]

How did you find this place? A real estate person found it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like a realtor. You suspect that I'm just, like, knocking on doors like, can I buy your house?

[May Martin]

I just was at a friend's house who's like, who bought a place and his friend sold it to him, and they just didn't want to deal with anybody. So he was like, hey, you want to buy a place? And he's like, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I love that. Yeah, I know.

[May Martin]

And that. That would be nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

When I went to view it the first time, there was a big spider in the bathtub. And then.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't get that house.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then when I went back, like, a week later to view it again, the spider was still there in that bathroom. So I guess he lives there, I guess.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, he's got eight legs to clean.

[May Martin]

He didn't even try to leave?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, no.

[May Martin]

When you went back, you must have been like, this is. This is it. This. This is my place. Yeah, that feeling.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just, you know, I'm like, I make decisions pretty quickly. Like, I don't get paralyzed by decision making. And even if it's the choice. I'm like, just make a choice.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not that this is the wrong choice, but I really. Yeah, I'd seen a bunch of places and I was like, I really like this. I want this to move fast, but it's, you know, it's emotional. It's like a big life thing and, you know, signifies a sort of changing of paths in a way. So.

[May Martin]

Yeah, the next step.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not what I thought I'd be doing this time of year, so. Yeah. Yeah. But it's still, you know, it's something I'm doing for myself and making a little solid base.

[May Martin]

So it's exciting.

[Tig Notaro]

That's really exciting.

[May Martin]

A really cool thing. Congrats.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll have you guys over, please.

[May Martin]

Are you gonna make the little. The back. You said there's like a back house area.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys will live there.

[May Martin]

That be a pot. Will that be a pod space or something? Something else.

[Fortune Feimster]

A good idea. You know, I got a lot of straight male friends who like to come visit me, so I got.

[May Martin]

They'll be sent to the back. You get. You're out there, buddy.

[Fortune Feimster]

All my but best wiener.

[May Martin]

Ugh.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm gonna put my boys back in the back house.

[May Martin]

Okay. Yeah, I like it.

[Tig Notaro]

Now, is this house big enough for an orgy?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh, good question, Tig.

[Fortune Feimster]

You actually would be surprised. You don't need a lot of space for an orgy. You need a king size bed. Another day.

[May Martin]

You're not familiar. Please tell us.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I would assume you just need a huge house. Everyone's going nuts all over the place.

[May Martin]

One big room. Because if someone's willing to be in an orgy, they don't need to be closed off in, like, a separate room.

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

Unless they're misbehaving. If they're breaking orgy rules. Are there orgy rules?

[May Martin]

Yeah. What are the rules?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Well, I don't know that I've. Listen, I'm not having tons of orgies all the time, but I think having had one.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Let's just say, just because you're saying I haven't had a lot, you're not saying you're not having any.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah. I don't think there's any, like, explicit rules, but there's a lot of, you know, communication. People take breaks. People.

[Tig Notaro]

People take, like, somebody sitting on the side going, that would be me.

[May Martin]

Yeah, boy. I'd be like, y'all keep. Keep going.

[Fortune Feimster]

Y'all keep going.

[May Martin]

I'm having a water break.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I might eat some Doritos in The corner.

[Tig Notaro]

Come back with your orange fingers.

[May Martin]

I don't get invited to these parties, you know, even in my single days.

[Fortune Feimster]

There'S no formal invitations. It's got to be sort of a spontaneous.

[Tig Notaro]

Like you don't send out an invite.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't send out an invite. It just happens at the end of a. Wow.

[May Martin]

I can't imagine just like going to a person's house to hang. You're just like had a dinner party and then like three hours later everyone's clothes are off.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know, but that's, you know, good for you.

[Tig Notaro]

Like I know, Isn't it something good for you, man.

[Fortune Feimster]

I guess I'm back in that era. Actually, I'm currently in up in Joshua Tree.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's an orgy. That is definitely an orgy place.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I had rent.

[Tig Notaro]

What are you doing in Joshua Tree?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm playing a music show tonight. I'm doing some tunes at Pappy and Harriet's, you know that. Cool. But I had rented initially this Airbnb to come with the woman I was heavily involved with. And now I'm with my buddy Matt up here. And there's a waterfall and a hot tub and a water slide. Like I've already been on a water slide today. It's only 9:30am Dude.

[Tig Notaro]

But I wasn't like an orgy pad.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I know, that's my thinking. Yeah.

[May Martin]

So the water slide, someone's gonna water slide down right onto a wiener or a vagina.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune Marie. Fortune Marie. You took it one slide too far.

[May Martin]

We were just talking about orgies.

[Tig Notaro]

I know, but we didn't say specifically what was involved parts. No fingers. No, no. Fortune. Fortune Marie.

[May Martin]

You know, Joshua Tree things go down in the desert because it gets really dark out there and there's no one for like miles.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. So you have to have an orgy. How else would you survive?

[May Martin]

What else do you do?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's how you survive out there.

[May Martin]

After May show, it's gonna get wild.

[Fortune Feimster]

I gotta say, my dream is that is to have an orgy with aliens. Because Joshua Tree feels like UFO town. Like people are seeing aliens.

[Tig Notaro]

Like maybe some people landing from orc.

[May Martin]

Oh, you want to be from a probe situation?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know that I want to.

[Tig Notaro]

Be probed, but I'm willing to probe you.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, I'm not nodded to it.

[May Martin]

No problemo.

[Tig Notaro]

No pro blame.

[May Martin]

I want to hear post Joshua Tree updates.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, right.

[Fortune Feimster]

So you might never see me again. I might be on a ufo.

[May Martin]

Oh, wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Having. Write, write down everything telepathic Sex.

[Tig Notaro]

Write down everything and then mail the letter to us.

[May Martin]

Mail it to us? Yes. Before you go off to whatever planet you're going as.

[Tig Notaro]

The spaceship is taking you away, just. Just drop that letter.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can imagine it floating down like that. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Right to our mailboxes.

[May Martin]

So.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. It sounds like. Yeah. You are entering into a new era.

[Fortune Feimster]

I guess I'm trying to drum up some enthusiasm for it. You know, I'm a romantic, but I got the house, so I'm gonna just.

[May Martin]

That's huge.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'd be doing some paintings and.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, nurturing my tender spirit.

[May Martin]

Time for you to. Yeah. Just live your life.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, man.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune. Can I write that down? That's a really good idea.

[May Martin]

Like, May's gonna write down their weekend. Write down. Just live your life.

[Tig Notaro]

Just live.

[May Martin]

Even say, live, laugh, love.

[Tig Notaro]

Life. Ooh. Live, laugh, love. I'm gonna write that down.

[May Martin]

Put that in your kitchen. Yeah. I hope there's a little left. Love sign.

[Fortune Feimster]

Would you guys. If. If a UFO came down and an alien said. And the alien's not.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, boy, here we go.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's not. Not attractive, but it's definitely an alien. It looks like sort of large eyes and. And. And. Yeah. And it said, would you like to have an alien sexual encounter?

[May Martin]

Oh, you think they ask? Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I think maybe they. But would you guys be interested if you're single and. And, like. And the aliens, like, trust me, it's gonna be good.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, they're aggressive. They're not, like, shy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, would you prefer shy? You want, like, a koi? Yeah.

[May Martin]

Koi alien.

[Fortune Feimster]

It starts.

[Tig Notaro]

I would. Big eye, like a koi alien than, like, an aggressive alien showing up, telling me what's up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you're.

[May Martin]

Hey, I've just come from my planet, and I don't know anybody around here. I am. I thought we could hang out, chat about my world and your world and how our two worlds could come together.

[Fortune Feimster]

Take us out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, sure. I'm game.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

As long as you remain Coyote.

[May Martin]

I can answer this. No. I don't have any desire to hang out with an alien or hook up with an alien.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, May wants to have an orgy with aliens.

[May Martin]

Well, obviously, I'm open. I think May's open to more experiences than I'm open to. And that's all right. That's why we love May, because May's open.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thanks.

[Tig Notaro]

And Fortune is shut off.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fortune is shut off. But with. But then with, like, clearly the filthiest of the three of us, I think.

[May Martin]

I just Say funny words.

[Tig Notaro]

Biggest muscles.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. The biggest gun show.

[May Martin]

I'm the. Probably the squarest of us all.

[Tig Notaro]

You think you're squarer than me?

[May Martin]

I think we're both pretty square. Just the fact that I'm using the.

[Fortune Feimster]

Word square, but I think I'm actually the biggest like nerd of the three. Like classic definition of a nerd. Like the. With sort of fixation, interest. I like nerdy things.

[Tig Notaro]

I am the least nerdy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I think that's like, I didn't make.

[Tig Notaro]

Announcements in my junior high school or whatever. Fortune, you know, Hi, everybody.

[May Martin]

Meeting Mrs. Rumfeld's class at 3pm for chess club.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune made great grades and I was just smoking and running around in cowboy boots and shorts and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, 100% the least nerd of the three of us. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Million. Playing guitar when I was nine as a rule follower. Yeah. Not me. Well, but anyway.

[May Martin]

But you know what? We all seem to be happy with our lanes.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right. The end.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow. We kind of. We reached the end of the Handsome podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

That was the very end.

[Fortune Feimster]

That was the finale.

[Tig Notaro]

The show just ended for good. Should we get our question for.

[May Martin]

We should because it's very exciting who our guest is today.

[Fortune Feimster]

A very, very exciting one. I have just been working with this person for months. She is, she plays well, I would say, I'm not going to say villain, but she plays the, the antagonist in my new show Wayward. Today's questioner is a Golden Globe, an Emmy winning Oscar nominated Australian actress with iconic roles in films including Muriel's Wedding, the Sixth Sense and Hereditary. Yeah. We had such a good time this summer. Me and. Well, I'm talking about Toni Collette. We had the best time. We went kayaking. She's like truly a remarkable and funny person. Yeah. And I think has listened to the pod and question like was like, I have my question. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. That's awesome.

[Fortune Feimster]

Tony Colette is asking today's question. Hello, handsome pod.

[Tig Notaro]

Handsomes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hello. May. I love you. I miss you so much already. Okay, I have a question. Which song when you're a kid, which song did you like, belt out at the top of your lungs only to realize later in life that it was really inappropriate because it was highly sexualized. I have one for sure.

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't know. I thought she was from the States.

[Fortune Feimster]

You did?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

She always plays an American, does an incredible American accent.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But no, Muriel's Wedding. Very Australian.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't see that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh my God.

[May Martin]

So many huge movies.

[Fortune Feimster]

Muriel's Wedding is so, so good and has not aged at all. Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Have you ever asked her to say raise?

[May Martin]

Rise up light.

[Tig Notaro]

Rise up lights.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, that's. I gotta do that.

[Tig Notaro]

I got it.

[May Martin]

My name's Tony Klit Rice.

[Fortune Feimster]

A place.

[May Martin]

Add a question mark at the end of everything. I'm from Australia.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh man. It's nice.

[May Martin]

I have a question.

[Fortune Feimster]

She'S gonna love that for.

[May Martin]

Do you want me to ask a hand some question?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't understand why you haven't been cast as an Australian yet.

[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

Finding the perfect gift can be pretty overwhelming. I always want to make sure I'm giving gifts that people actually want. This year I found the perfect spot for timeless gifts made from premium materials. So you've got to check out Quinn's.

[May Martin]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

Other countries nail the American accent, but the rest of us trying to do theirs, not so great. Yeah, the Sixth Sense was such a good movie too.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, oh, my God, that scene.

[May Martin]

When you watched it, the end, the twist, for the first time, it blew everyone's ponties off.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everyone's ponties.

[May Martin]

You remember, like in theaters, people were like. I mean, everyone lost their minds. Once you've seen it the first time, it doesn't have the same effect. But that was the first time a movie just totally messed with you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

For the whole movie. And it made you go back and be like. And then it shows you the flashbacks. You're like, oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Also her performance, she's. And Haley Joel Osman, I think she was only 25 or something in that movie.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, playing his mom, doing this New York accent. And the scene where they're in the car and he goes, grandma says hi. And she's like, cole, that's very wrong. Grandma's dead. You know that. And then he's like. And he goes, she wants me to say she saw you dance. And she starts freaking out. And then he goes, when you visited her grave, you asked her a question. The answer is every day, what did you ask her mom? And then Toni Collette goes, I asked her, do I make her proud? It's so good.

[May Martin]

She's so good at playing those dramatic ladies.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fuck, it's goosebumpy. When we were filming, we were like between takes or something, me and my. My co star Sarah, we were getting really excited to work with Toni Collette. We hadn't worked with her yet. And then we just decided to watch that scene on. On YouTube. And we watched that scene, we were both like, tears in our eyes, goosebumps, riveted. And then we had to go and act again. And suddenly we were like, oh, we don't know how to act. Like, that's acting. And we got so self conscious, we were like, God, everything we do feels fake because we just watched this, like, masterclass.

[May Martin]

Yeah, she's a whole new. A whole other level than most actors.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think she channels something, like she just gives over to it. Whereas I feel like I'm always still myself. I mean, take you've talked about. Do you feel that too, Fortune? You're just. You can't really get out of here. Yeah. Versions of us.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm definitely taking space.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're taking space.

[May Martin]

I got. I got to work with a really cool action icon, Carrie Ann Moss.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

Our season two of fubar. I mean, Trinity and the freaking Matrix.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's huge. What was she like?

[May Martin]

Awesome. Super cool. Has all these, like, remedies for things like naturopath.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, cool.

[May Martin]

Tig would be into that.

[Fortune Feimster]

There is something about, like. There is something about acting with some. Like, it's intimidating, but where you feel like, oh, fuck, I gotta raise my game. Like, when someone is so committed and you're looking into their eyes and you're like, this is. You're like, for me, this is skin deep. Like, I. If. If somebody's eyebrow twitches, I'm breaking, like. You know, I'm barely holding on to, like, commitment. But when someone opposite you is so good and into it, you do.

[Tig Notaro]

I felt that on this new Starfleet Academy because I've heard so much about from different people that worked with Holly Hunter. They're like, oh, she's really intense, and she's got her, you know, her whole way.

[May Martin]

We have to find the aliens now.

[Tig Notaro]

Exactly. I was a little like, whoa, I gotta, like, really step it up here. And then, you know, I'm definitely giving it my all. But the nice thing is, so far, she's been nothing but an absolute delight.

[Fortune Feimster]

And.

[Tig Notaro]

Just so much fun.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I thought I was going to be going on set with, like, a method, like, just, like, militant, like, intense. Oh, no. Kind of situation.

[Fortune Feimster]

The same with Tony. And it's so annoying because if I'm gonna get emotional or I'm gonna be, I'm like, I need to, you know, bef. Like, I gotta be listening to music and trying it, like. But she can just drop into it, and then between takes, she's hilarious and, like, laughing.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, it's. Yeah, it's really impressive. Okay, wait, but her question, guys, do you have a song that you would sing at the top of your lungs and you didn't know that it was horny and weird?

[May Martin]

I didn't know this song was so horny or weird. Gosh. I know that there are songs out there I didn't know had sexual connotations, but.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I remember hearing about George Bush Jr. S playlist on his ipod or whatever years ago.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

And the song My Sharona.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh.

[Tig Notaro]

Has.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh, wait, is that a sexual song?

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't realize it, but it's about, like, desiring a younger woman.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Oh, I always get it up from the touch of the younger kind. That's one of the.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I remember seeing John Stamos sing that on Full House. Uncle Jesse played it at like, the high school dance.

[May Martin]

Oh, really?

[Fortune Feimster]

And he was an. And I remember being like, what did he just say?

[May Martin]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

It's like people were making a big deal about, you know, the president. I mean, it's so insane how far we've gone with what is appropriate with presidents and what is and isn't. But. But people were like, oh my gosh, the president has my Sharona on his playlist and it talks about.

[May Martin]

And that was a thing.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Desiring a younger.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's so.

[Tig Notaro]

Girl.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is crazy though, that now we're like, electing people charged with sex trafficking and like.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

Well, it's like rape when you hear the chicks scan. The thing that got them canceled back in the day, it was so tame.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I re. Watched their documentary of what Natalie said and it's like, so tame.

[Tig Notaro]

What did she say?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, well, she.

[May Martin]

They were at a. They were about to like, do a big European run and they had like a small show in London, kind of like for press and stuff. And she. They. We had just gone to declared war or whatever, and she's anti war and so she just said, you know, oh, we don't support those. This war makes us a shame that our president's from Texas. Something like that. That's it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everyone was like, you're done.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's crazy.

[May Martin]

She got death threats.

[Fortune Feimster]

Seriously.

[May Martin]

Oh, she had to have security everywhere. She couldn't get off a plane without an escort through airports.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[May Martin]

Then their follow up album was, you know, talking about all the hate mail they received and like, people telling them, you know, mothers saying they wish they were dead and like, I mean, crazy. Good Lord went on for, I mean, years.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's so.

[May Martin]

And they were. I mean, they were. They're still like super successful and. Yeah. And you know, came. Came back with like this huge Grammy winning album. But like, they were selling out giant arenas and stadiums and then like, still. Still sell out really big things. But they were like, humongous.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Then like country radio was boycotted them, wouldn't play them. People were literally running over their. Out their CDs with like, power tools. Oh my God, craziness for that, like. And think about all the shit people talk now.

[Tig Notaro]

That's so insane.

[Fortune Feimster]

All I can think of a couple of songs. Well, Roxanne, I didn't know what that.

[May Martin]

Was that about Fortune Is it like a sex worker?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. You don't have to run the red light. Sell your something for money.

[May Martin]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Amsterdam.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And then Sweet Painted lady by Elton John, that was also about a sex worker. It was like, he'll leave the smell of the sea in your bed. Getting paid for being laid. I mean, it's pretty direct when. When you say it now, but I used to love it as a kid. A sweet painted lady.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then the one that I really used to sing a lot is Semi Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind. I know all the words and it's all about, like, crystal meth. And I didn't realize. Oh, yeah, didn't know that it goes. The sky was gold, it was rose. I was taking sips of it through my nose. And I wish I could get back there someplace back there.

[May Martin]

Smile.

[Fortune Feimster]

And the pictures you would take. Doing crystal methyl lift you. Oh, this is again, very direct.

[May Martin]

Doing crystal meth.

[Tig Notaro]

Doing crystal methyl.

[May Martin]

I guess I never knew the words.

[Fortune Feimster]

Doing crystal methyl lift you up until you break. And it says, I gotta get back there to the place where I fell asleep inside you. And I was like, fell asleep inside you as a kid. I was like, I guess. I don't know. I guess he means his soul.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. What about you, Fortune?

[May Martin]

This is a newer song, but you know that Cake by the Ocean song?

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[May Martin]

Oh, baby.

[Fortune Feimster]

Baby, I know.

[May Martin]

Cake by the Ocean.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't.

[May Martin]

It was played, like two. Two years ago or three years ago. Joe Jonas's song. And it was, like the most played song of all the songs. It was everywhere. I'm not doing a good job singing it for you. I just. Cake by the ocean. So everyone's just sitting. Everyone's just, like, belting out. The lyrics was basically about having sex on the beach. Oh, I know you guys.

[Tig Notaro]

What?

[May Martin]

Freaking sex on the beach. And we're just, like, thinking, you're having cake.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[May Martin]

Is it cake?

[Tig Notaro]

Is it cake? Or is it sex? A new show. Is it sex? But you didn't have one as a kid where you were, like, loving it and dancing around. And then you as an adult, you're.

[May Martin]

Like, oh, I'm trying to. I'm trying to Google songs from that time because for whatever reason that's good.

[Tig Notaro]

For podcasting is a nice googling, you guys.

[May Martin]

I like to be surprised by our questions so I can give you my, like, authentic.

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't know what our question was today. I didn't.

[May Martin]

Good for you for knowing sexual songs.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I feel like there must have Been a lot.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune was too much of a nerd as a kid.

[May Martin]

I know. I'm like, what did have a sexual connotation?

[Fortune Feimster]

There must have been a lot of Beatles songs about drugs.

[Tig Notaro]

And, I mean, well, I remember there was speculation that Lucy in the sky with Diamonds was about lsd.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. And then they said, oh, no, it was just a picture that Julian Lennon drew or something. Yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh, I didn't know. Jeannie in a Bottle. What was the right way?

[Fortune Feimster]

Huh?

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah, that would be the one. Then I definitely was singing, you better Rub me the right Way. And I thought it was about, you.

[Tig Notaro]

Know, getting that genie out of there.

[May Martin]

I was like, I want a couple of wishes. I had no idea Christina either was being a freak.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah. Classic her.

[May Martin]

So that would have probably been mine. I was definitely belting that song out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, that was very horny, that one.

[May Martin]

Yeah, Very horny. What about you guys? Well, you already say, yeah, you were Googling.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I said. I said Roxanne and Sweet Painted Lady.

[May Martin]

Oh, I. I did hear those, because I didn't know about Roxanne.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Should we hear what. What Tony said?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Fortune Feimster]

So for me, I was in fourth.

[Tig Notaro]

Grade, so what does that make me? Like, Maybe I was eight.

[Fortune Feimster]

And a group of only two or three other girls, and I danced in front of.

[Tig Notaro]

The whole class, just made up a.

[Fortune Feimster]

Routine and danced to the Pointer Sisters.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm so excited.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it. I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Mortified. Oh, that's pretty innocent. But, yeah, when you think about it. I want to Google horny.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want to Google the rest of the lyrics. Pointer Sisters.

[May Martin]

Pointer Sisters are trying to get something pointed at their sister to their whole Fortune Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

Marie.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's okay. Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen Tonight we'll put all other things aside Give in this time and show me some affection we're going for those pleasures in the night I want to love you Feel you Wrap myself around you Whoa I want to squeeze you, Please you I just can't get enough and if you move real slow I'll let it go I'm so excited.

[May Martin]

She's going to orgasm.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fortune. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Fortunately, the Pointer Sister is going to orgasm.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. No, this is definitely dirty. And to be in grade four, just really losing it.

[May Martin]

The problem is when there's a catchy song and you. You're not always aware of the lyrics. And those days were when you had. In order to see lyrics, you had to buy, like, a cd and they were in the sleeve.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[May Martin]

You couldn't just Google it like I did now.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that's right.

[May Martin]

So, yeah, you're just like, oh, this is a catchy tune. I'm so excited. Like, we're all excited. Who doesn't want to have a great day of excitement? But you're not really paying attention to, like, wrapping your legs around. There's no one singing the. No one's singing the, like, the main part. They're singing the chorus.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

Like. And this is us. I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did you guys do lip syncs in front of your class?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah, in front of class I did.

[Fortune Feimster]

What?

[May Martin]

It's Raining men.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

That was about.

[Tig Notaro]

No, no, I was very aware that.

[May Martin]

Was a horny song.

[Fortune Feimster]

How old were you?

[Tig Notaro]

Can we hear it?

[May Martin]

That I might have been a little older. Like high school. Like 15, 16.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you were dancing with your friends.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I need to see that.

[May Martin]

Temperatures rising. Stop. According to all sources, the streets, the place to go. Cause tonight, for the first time, just about a half past ten, for the first time, in his mystery. It's gonna start raining, man. It's raining man. And then. And they were holding umbrellas. It's raining men. And then I bust through the umbrella.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. So you were the star.

[May Martin]

Oh, I was the star.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

Because it was my brainchild.

[Fortune Feimster]

That takes a lot of confidence.

[Tig Notaro]

And where did you do this? In front of your school?

[May Martin]

I have a bunch of friends. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, at school. As a.

[May Martin]

No, at a. Like a big party.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, okay. Is that when you got discovered and signed by your agent?

[May Martin]

I got signed by an agent. I did it. I. I redid it again in my 20s for friends in LA.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, you're gonna have to redo it.

[May Martin]

And I wore Span. A spandex outfit.

[Tig Notaro]

Thomas put it on the list.

[Fortune Feimster]

Guys, when we do our live holiday show.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, maybe.

[Fortune Feimster]

Maybe Fortune needs it. We'll get Tig. You and I can have umbrellas.

[Tig Notaro]

Of course. Forget that we said this.

[May Martin]

Yes, we'll totally forget.

[Tig Notaro]

We'll show up and will be like, wait, how come it's not raining then?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we should do.

[Tig Notaro]

It's raining lesbians.

[May Martin]

Oh, Good day?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I had. In my 20s, I had guys in short shorts holding the umbrellas.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's good. I'll do that.

[May Martin]

And I was in spandex. It was low. I mean, this. This is a performance that can be reintroduced in different eras of my life.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I think it's time. I think it's been enough times. It's got to come back.

[May Martin]

It's raining, man. Huh? And I sang to it. So excited about these men raining.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think your next standup special should open with that. I did a one in front of my middle school, and it was. All the other kids were doing, like, Spice Girls and stuff, and I was so bossy, and I made my friends do hair, you know?

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Give me a certain. With hair. Long, beautiful hair from the musical.

[May Martin]

That musical is kind of a big orgy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Maybe I was an early indicator, but then I think the song morphed into everybody in Backstreet Boys. It was like a medley. But I do remember all the kids.

[May Martin]

A mashup.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was a mashup. But everyone was, like, disappointed by Hair the musical.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah. Because that's kind of a more obscure reference.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And it had to start with me alone on stage going, don't ask me why. I'm just a hairy guy. I was like, 11. I'm hairy high and low.

[May Martin]

The song most people know from Hair is Age of Aquarius.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. This is dawn and the age of Aquarius. Are we in the age of Aquarius now or what?

[Tig Notaro]

What is the age of Aquarius?

[May Martin]

Yeah, what is it?

[Tig Notaro]

Guys, Would you like me to Google May? I mean, you should be spitting out a Mayfax.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're so right.

[May Martin]

Age.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm trying. I'm searching the recesses of my mind.

[May Martin]

It's an astrological concept that refers to a period of time when the vernal equinox shifts into the sign of Aquarius.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, the vernal equinox. Yeah.

[May Martin]

The exact start and end of the Age of Aquarius is debated, but some astrologers believe it began around the 20th century, while others think it's still happening.

[Tig Notaro]

I still don't know what it is.

[May Martin]

Yeah, me neither. No idea. Okay, guys, I'm gonna continue.

[Tig Notaro]

Does it have to do with, like, being an Aquarius?

[May Martin]

I'm gonna tell you, it's associated with traits like innovation, openness, and spirituality. It's also thought to mark a time of great change with a shift in human consciousness and a move from me to we. We're definitely not in a we phase. No, we're definitely in a me phase. So I don't think we're in the Age of Aquarius right now, but you.

[Tig Notaro]

Don'T have to be. The Age of Aquarius isn't during the time period when the Aquarius birth sign is.

[May Martin]

No, it's the thought of the Age of Aquarius was kind of the 60s and 70s, kind of that Hindi new age era. That's sort of the age that. That's considered the Age of Aquarius.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. We are not in that.

[Fortune Feimster]

We had a chance, you know, like, we got so close. It was like young people had all this power and they could have mobilized into this serious movement and then what?

[May Martin]

But they didn't.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think then, like, exploitative cult leaders and the government got involved and messed it up. Because there was, I think, 1969, 250,000 young people ran away from home and went to Haight Ashbury in San Francisco. That's a lot of people in one summer. And it was like this huge. Like, out of the potential, there is so huge.

[May Martin]

You would have done well that summer of 69. It was the summer of San Francisco.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you think I would have.

[May Martin]

I would have been like, can people stop smoking weed inside?

[Tig Notaro]

God, I've got nerd alert.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would have got scooped up by some cult leader fast.

[May Martin]

Oh, you would have 1000 in the cult or the cult leader.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think I would allow the sexual cult leader.

[May Martin]

Not a bad. Not one evil one, a horny one.

[Fortune Feimster]

Now, deep down, all I want is someone to come along and tell me what to do. I think if some beautiful person had come up and been like, come with me. I see you. You're special.

[Tig Notaro]

I'd be like, we would never see May again.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, you'd never see me again.

[Tig Notaro]

Even now, you never see me. Well, guys, we did it.

[May Martin]

Wow, what a journ we've been on today.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I've really enjoyed this.

[Tig Notaro]

I have, too.

[May Martin]

It was a treat for sure. Well, guys, guess what? Our Holly Bob extravaganza is on the horizon. It is Saturday, December 21st. We're going to be at Dynasty Typewriter. It's a live show that you can stream from anywhere in the world. That link will be good for a week. We're gonna be in our home base, so all the tech will be super, super good and sharp. And we're gonna have. Sounds like we've got a whole list of things that we want to get to there.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, we got a lot going on.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we do need to put our heads together and make sure we follow through on some of. On the. It's raining, man. I've got some plans to surprise you.

[Tig Notaro]

Guys, so get your tickets@dylaxy, typewriter.com or on our social media pages. And we will very much look forward to seeing you then. And also, always important to subscribe to the podcast and the YouTube page and share your favorite episodes with friends.

[May Martin]

As a personal plug, I would love for people to keep watching my special Crushing it on Netflix. Yes, streaming now. Thanks for all the fun comments. But yeah, I'm so proud of it in my handsome pink suit. And I announced a whole new big tour. So I'm doing a bunch of shows and clubs, clubs, promote, working on my new hour. I have Pasadena in Ontario, Oxnard, California, Irvine, California, and then a whole huge new theater tour starting April 1st.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. You never stop, girl.

[May Martin]

Never stop, but never stop. I love it though.

[Fortune Feimster]

We've got some Handsome live shows right in Nashville and Austin.

[Tig Notaro]

Those tickets are going fast.

[May Martin]

In April.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[May Martin]

The first two weekends of April we have Austin, Texas first and then Nashville. Well, at the Ryman.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh my God, I can't wait.

[May Martin]

Those are going to be big, fun, awesome shows.

[Tig Notaro]

Seriously. Also, I want to plug my. The audio version of my standup special, hello again. That is out and available for all. And it is. I mean, if you need a last minute holiday gift. Yeah, that is a good. I mean, why stop there? Get my book. I'm just a person. I have a book, guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

Get that.

[May Martin]

Amazing. Get it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it is amazing. Get that.

[May Martin]

Well, I mean, this is basically right before Christmas, so I hope everyone has an amazing holiday. Yeah, Hanukkah also falls. I think of the same time as Christmas this year.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Get some rest, stay off your phone, off Instagram, and just, you know, wander around.

[May Martin]

Wander around aimlessly.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Hopefully Santa's good to you if you.

[Fortune Feimster]

If you believe.

[Tig Notaro]

I think my son still believes.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, man.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, until next time, huh?

[Fortune Feimster]

Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media at Handsome Podcast.

[May Martin]

What a podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Podcast. What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Handsomes, the audio version of my comedy special hello Again is available everywhere. Just in time for the holidays. Go to tigotaro.com to get a copy for you and a loved one.

[May Martin]

Now, some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking all stats state first.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, you know to check for your favorite snacks and treats before checking out at the grocery store.

[May Martin]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary. Terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois Lights are going up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Snow is falling down. There's a feeling of goodwill. It could only mean one thing.

[May Martin]

McRib is here.

[Fortune Feimster]

People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere, Stockings hung up by the chimney with care. It could only mean one thing.

[May Martin]

McRib is here and participate in McDonald's.

[Fortune Feimster]

For a limited time.