Trixie Mattel asks about party invitations

Summary

Handsome – Episode Summary

Episode: "Trixie Mattel Asks About Party Invitations"

Date: February 17, 2026
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Guest Question Asker: Trixie Mattel
Podcast Theme: Each week, comedians Tig, Fortune, and Mae field a question from a friend and attempt to answer it, mixing comedy, candid conversation, and often the unexpected.

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Handsome" centers on social etiquette—specifically, whether it's rude to include an end time on party invitations. The discussion is sparked by a question from superstar drag queen and comedian Trixie Mattel. Along the way, the hosts dive into stories about parties, orgies (hilariously, and repeatedly), celebrity encounters, documentary filmmaking, and the evolution of their own social habits. With the group's trademark humor, they explore the practical and emotional realities of hosting and attending social gatherings.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

1. Catching Up & Bouncing Between Tangents (01:54–13:07)

• The trio opens with playful banter about their musical collaborations and the hypothetical "Christian Handsome" podcast (“He is risen!” jokes, [02:57–03:09]).
• They riff on religious entertainment and accidentally wandering into churches for the free snacks and music ([03:19–04:49]).
• Mae shares a story about picking up a knight’s costume from a Hindu temple in London, highlighting the randomness of party prep ([04:56–06:09]).
• Fortune reveals she’s currently filming with Kim Kardashian, and the hosts discuss their own storytelling abilities (or lack thereof compared to Kardashians, [06:31–08:02]).

2. Tig's Ups and Downs: Sick Cat & Oscar Nomination (09:23–17:04)

• Tig discusses her ailing cat Fluff—a segment equal parts touching and wryly funny ([09:23–12:16]).

  “We just… fingers crossed. Thank you. Fingers, paws, toes, everything crossed.” – Tig, [11:36]

• Simultaneously, she announces getting an Oscar nomination for "Come See Me in the Good Light" ([12:16–16:58]).
  • The group reflects on the emotional rollercoaster of good and bad life news colliding.
  • Tig shares the moment she found out—sleeping with her breathing machine and eye mask when Stephanie, her wife, woke her with the good news ([15:40–16:41]).

    “I’m like pulling all my gear off my face—‘Huh? What?’…and she was like, ‘You got nominated!’” – Tig, [16:40]

  • They discuss the cutthroat, unpredictable world of documentary filmmaking and award politics.

3. Party-Throwing, End Times & Social Dynamics (38:43–44:49, 49:11–54:27)

• Trixie’s Question Introduced ([38:43–41:03]):

  “Last summer, I had a pool party and put on the invitation 2 to 5, and everyone was like, ‘Damn, bitch, jump in the water and get wet and leave.’ I don’t think it’s rude to add an end time. Do you guys?” – Trixie Mattel, [40:46]

• Mae is 100% pro end-time:

  “I love an end time because it means people arrive on time… You could tell a select group of people, ‘Hey, stick around after.’” – Mae, [41:03]

• Fortune and Tig agree, sharing that end times help with crowd control, set expectations, and make it easier to wind down.
• The hosts spiral into stories about afterparties turning into orgies, spectators, and who gets “the afterparty invite.” This becomes a consistent comedic theme, with plenty of ribbing and raised eyebrows (see [41:31–44:49]).
  • “I’m not at every party, telling people ‘stay after for an orgy’...I just slip a little card in their pocket.” – Mae, [42:32]
  • “When it starts to get salacious, I do have to leave. I can’t sit and watch—Fortune, Tig are bolting out the door.” – Fortune, [43:00]
• Discussion of the term “Fuggos” for party guests not invited to stay for after-party shenanigans (with disclaimers it’s all in jest, [45:00–46:31]).

4. Social Realities: Hosting, Parties, and Selectivity (49:11–54:27)

• Tig, once a big party-thrower, confesses she’s retired from hosting large blowouts—she now prefers intimate dinner parties.

  “I could do [dinner parties] until the cows come home…” – Tig, [54:00]

• They talk about the challenge of keeping in touch as adults, and how parties offer a way to reconnect ([50:14–50:41]).
• All agree end times are necessary, especially to avoid awkward lingering ([54:27]):

  “If you add, like, ‘Party ends at 8, but you’re having a good time,’ you can say, ‘Guys, we can go till 8:30.’” – Tig, [54:22]

5. The Wild Side of Parties (41:34–47:02, 55:06–56:47)

• The orgy party bit continues to sidetrack, with frequent references to “who stays for the afters,” awkward spectators, and lube.
• “There was one spectator, she was like, ‘I’m not gonna get involved, but I’ll pass out lube.’” – Mae, [44:33]

6. Hosting Tips and Practical Advice (57:09–57:44, 57:53–59:34)

• General consensus: Giving an end time isn’t rude. It helps guests plan, and hosts enforce boundaries.

  “It’s never who you want to stay, who stays late.” – May, [57:28]

• The hosts share party faux pas involving lingering guests and the inability to pick up on social cues:

  “[Some people] show up ten minutes before the party starts and, you’re still putting things out, and they’re just there…not helping and staring at you.” – Fortune, [57:28]

7. Comedy Bits, Bits, and Prank Energy (59:01–61:26)

• Tig shares delight in doing awkward anti-social bits, like refusing to leave a director’s house after a party ([59:01–59:44]).
• Mae recounts coaching a child to help her escape unwanted conversations at a party, only for the kid to “blow her cover” ([60:32–61:00]).

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Notable Quotes & Timed Highlights

• On Oscar Nominations:

  "You got to leak some [Kim K stories] on the pod."
  “Never. I cannot. I’m a vault. Otherwise you don’t get fun stories.”
  — Fortune, [07:07–07:13]

• On Big Parties:

  “If I knew you on some level, you were invited to some degree.”
  — Tig, [49:58]

• On Social Cues:

  “There are people who don’t read the room… it’s never who you want to stay, who stays late.”
  — May, [57:25–57:28]

• On End Times:

  “I personally don’t think that’s rude… Quality over quantity. Come over for lunch doesn’t mean you should be here at 10pm.”
  — Trixie Mattel, [57:09]

• On Comedy & Pranks:

  “I love an awkward…Wouldn’t you want to see me do that? …I need to have a prank show.”
  — Tig, [59:24–59:40]

• On Orgies (joking):

  “As they come in, I slip a little card in their pocket.”
  — Mae, [42:43] “I do not want to be the old woman in the corner.”
  — Fortune, [43:12]

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Key Segment Timestamps

• Opening Banter / Musical bits: 01:54–03:45
• Religious entertainment riff: 03:09–04:49
• Kim Kardashian stories/outdoing celebrity anecdotes: 06:31–08:02
• Tig’s cat + Oscar nom saga: 09:23–16:58
• Trixie’s party invitation question: 40:42–41:03
• Orgy after-party tangent: 41:31–44:49
• The “Fuggos” bit and party selectivity: 45:00–46:31
• Tig’s take on parties & adulthood: 49:11–54:27
• Party guest stereotypes / lingering guests: 57:09–57:44, 57:53–59:34
• Tig’s “awkward pranks” / Mae’s party escape plan: 59:01–61:26

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Recap / Final Advice

• Setting an end time for a party is not rude; it helps set expectations, ensures things don’t spiral, and gives hosts control over the event's arc.
• “Quality over quantity”—a select core can always be quietly invited to linger for the “after” (orgy or otherwise).
• When planning a gathering, it’s wise to communicate clearly, and don’t be afraid to establish boundaries—whether to manage clean-up, your own energy, or just to make sure you’re only spending your time with people who don’t try to flush their hairbands down the metaphorical (or literal) toilet.

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Tone & Vibe

The hosts are quick-witted, irreverent, and keep things friendly and inclusive despite endlessly lampooning one another. The episode blends heartfelt moments (pet woes, vulnerability around awards, nostalgia) with absurd and risqué comedy, making their advice on parties as entertaining as it is relatable.

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Summary for the Uninitiated

If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s too controlling to “end” your own party (or wanted to avoid lingering guests who just won’t take the hint), you’ll find comical commiseration and actual solutions here—from Trixie Mattel and the “Handsome” crew. Just don’t expect a party invite that lasts past midnight…unless you get the special after-party card from Mae.

Transcript

[May Martin]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[Fortune Feemster]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feemster]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[May Martin]

Friends on the Handsome Pod Chatting with friends on the Handsome podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Cheers. Hey, it's your friend Tig on the Handsome pod. Sitting here with my co host, May Martin Unfortune Feamster. Together again.

[Fortune Feemster]

Together again. Three handsome friends.

[May Martin]

They said we couldn't do it and we did.

[Tig Notaro]

We said we wouldn't do it after April. We'd kept doing April. We need to put that song on our website. Has anyone looked at our website in a while?

[May Martin]

Has anyone ever looked at our website?

[Fortune Feemster]

Honestly, that jam, that Christmas jam we did was delightful. I'm gonna pat ourselves on the back for that. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Because we do have a handsome band now.

[May Martin]

Maybe we should do like an Easter jam like. Like he has risen. Oh, wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Welcome to the Christian handsome.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that would be really unexpected if you really.

[Fortune Feemster]

Where we love the Lord and we talk about our love of the Lord.

[May Martin]

I never even. It doesn't occur to me but there's like a whole other entertainment industry that's just Jesus based. Right. Like, there's bands that are big money.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

There's like stand ups. There's all kinds of people that just. It's like, we don't cross paths with that world. But they're filling up. Oh, sorry. Of course you're at Hillsong over here.

[Fortune Feemster]

On the Christian Handsome Bar.

[Trixie Mattel]

We.

[Fortune Feemster]

We know exactly what's going on.

[Tig Notaro]

You know what's up.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, well, they have all those songs that you'll be like, I'll be driving in the Midwest, you know, from one city to another, and some song will come on the radio and it's like, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. And it's like a jam. And I'm like, oh, this is gorgeous. And then it's like, Jesus, you're like.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, you got me.

[Fortune Feemster]

I thought this was a love song to a lady friend.

[Tig Notaro]

That's like Maria Bamford's joke about how, like, those churches will be like, kind of in disguise and they'll be like, come on in. There's free coffee and. And live music right now. And she's like, oh, my gosh, that's so great. And then you wander in and it's like, ah, they got me. This is a church. And. And that happened to me and Stephanie when we were in Austin the last time we were with Max and Finn and walking down the street and. And we were like, whoa, look at this. Like 10 in the morning, rocking out. I'm like, this is awesome. And. And it said free coffee and, you know, snacks. And I was like, what is this all about? I love this vibe. And then it was like, ah, they got me.

[Fortune Feemster]

Not that you can't love the Lord. No, no shade of that. It's just quickness.

[May Martin]

It'd be a real pivot for this podcast for sure. My best experience, like, dropping into a place of worship was, you know, in the Baz Luhrmann, Romeo and Juliet, Leo wears this, like, knight costume, you know. So I ordered one online, like from a woman in Germany. And then of course you did it.

[Fortune Feemster]

Somehow got love to order from that woman in Germany.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that woman who. And it was a gay woman in Germany making Leo costumes for lesbians, I guess. And then. So I ordered it and then I had to pick it up from a guy who was coordinating it. And he was like, can you meet me at my. My temple? My, like, Hindu temple? It was. So I showed up and it was like everyone quietly in prayer and this beautiful temple and this is in London on the outskirts. And I go, I'm like, should I come in? And he's like, yeah, come in and meet my family.

[Fortune Feemster]

And.

[May Martin]

And then he's like, oh, yes, this person's getting a knight's costume. And then I went into like, they took me all. I was in there for like 90 minutes. It was beautiful. Snacks and. Yeah, it was really nice. That was good.

[Fortune Feemster]

The Lord. The Lord's inviting you for coffee. Come on in.

[Tig Notaro]

Rock and roll.

[Fortune Feemster]

I can see wearing that costume that seemed like a. A good fit for you.

[May Martin]

I wore it and feel good.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. Oh. Oh.

[May Martin]

I was just trying to make my dreams come true. So transparent. Just being like, can I think of a reason why I'd have to wear this night costume? How are you guys?

[Tig Notaro]

Funny.

[May Martin]

Are you filming Fortune?

[Fortune Feemster]

I am filming. Everything's going really good. It's been going well. It's long days, but we're moving fast and I'm having. I'm having a good time with the gals.

[May Martin]

Have you come up with any games that you're into in between takes?

[Fortune Feemster]

Like, the game is have Kim Kardashian tell us as many fun stories as possible. Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

Is she a good storyteller?

[Fortune Feemster]

Yes, there are many good stories.

[May Martin]

Oh, my gosh, she must have seen it all.

[Fortune Feemster]

She is saying it all. And boy, is it fun to listen to.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, you gotta leak some of those on the pod.

[Fortune Feemster]

Never. I cannot.

[May Martin]

You're a vault.

[Fortune Feemster]

I'm a vault. Otherwise you don't get fun stories.

[May Martin]

I know.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Are you trading. Are you giving her something too? Are you telling her about when you dressed up yourself?

[Fortune Feemster]

I did tell her the other day. I said, I apologize that none of us have anything fun to give you in return. We're all very boring in comparison.

[May Martin]

Hey, don't talk about my co host that way.

[Tig Notaro]

Exactly my point.

[Fortune Feemster]

May I just don't have any crazy stories like that that she's just got so. And she's just lived out here forever. They know everyone.

[Tig Notaro]

What about your meetup days? You don't want to tell her about the Craig mistakes?

[Fortune Feemster]

What are my meetups?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, when I. Yeah, when you first moved to la.

[May Martin]

Or what about when you were went by yourself on a Sound of Music tour?

[Fortune Feemster]

You guys, she would be riveted by all of these things.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm sure she did the same in the very beginning.

[Fortune Feemster]

She like, I couldn't tell when I was joking, so she would kind of like look at me and she like, you're joking, right? I'm like, yeah. But now she's like. Just starts laughing.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's good.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, success.

[Fortune Feemster]

She's starting to figure me out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Now one day you're gonna come in and say something really sad, and she's gonna be cackling away.

[Tig Notaro]

I remember one time going to a party, meeting people, and they were like, where were you? And I was like, oh, there was a lot of traffic. There was an accident.

[Fortune Feemster]

And.

[Tig Notaro]

Huh?

[May Martin]

And what?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, no, it was like 10 car pile up and. Okay. And.

[May Martin]

Oh, there she goes.

[Tig Notaro]

No, not. Not everything's a joke. Like, I really am late because there was an accident.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feemster]

Well, in their defense, you do set up jokes in that way.

[Tig Notaro]

I. Look, I'm not. I'm not saying I'm right. I'm rarely saying I'm right.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm oftentimes wrong, even. Yeah. Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Not often.

[May Martin]

I can't think of a single time.

[Tig Notaro]

That I've been right, Wrong, wrong. Oh, right, right. You're right.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feemster]

Wrong.

[Tig Notaro]

You're right.

[Fortune Feemster]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Tig, how are you?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, as you know, I've been dealing with some. Some, you know, tough stuff over in Kitty City.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

And. But we're. We're staying positive. Poor little Fluff has been going downhill for a few weeks. And we just. We kind of may have. I can't remember, have you had animals or. No.

[May Martin]

Like, growing up.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

It's just.

[Tig Notaro]

It's like.

[May Martin]

It's how they.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

You know, their vibe and you're like, something's off.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. Like, Fluff is always a part of Kitty City and going upstairs, downstairs, eating with the other cats. And then it just started to seem like she was a little lethargic, you know, even though. Yes. Cats sleep all day and night. There was still. Even the way she was lying down seemed oddly lethargic. Anyway, this past week, really, things took a turn. And then, man, last night really took a turn. And Stephanie was like, I feel like we need to go right now to the emergency room. And so we did. We went to this place. So great. It's called mash. I had never heard of it, but it's an ER in la. Thomas said he used it for his puppet. And so they gave her. We had had a vet. This is a boring story, but.

[May Martin]

But now I'm imagining you at a party telling it, and people going, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, a week ago, we had a vet come over and check her out, and he took her blood and urine sample and all that, and we were waiting on that. But in the meantime, it just, like I said, took a turn. And so they gave her. They kept her overnight, gave her an IV and some steroids and some medication to help her stop throwing up. And so now we're just waiting on the scans that should be in by the end of the week. And, man, are we just hoping for the best. Yeah, because, like, right now, we just went and picked her up this afternoon, and she ate when she got home, but then she immediately got into Finn's dirty clothes basket, which that's not where she goes hiding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They hide when they're not doing well. So anyway, it's been fingers crossed. Thank you. Fingers, paws, toes, everything crossed. But also simultaneously when I got good news of being nominated for the Oscar for Come See Me in the Good Light.

[Fortune Feemster]

Incredible.

[Tig Notaro]

Which has been mainly, I, to be.

[Fortune Feemster]

Fair, always believe that you guys were gonna get nominated.

[May Martin]

I. I know.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you really? Like, 100%?

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Cuz I've never had.

[Fortune Feemster]

You were like, no, it's so hard. And we were both like, no, I think, yeah.

[May Martin]

You were like, I've never had a more affecting experience watching a documentary. So I was like, any of those voters who see it, there's no way.

[Tig Notaro]

I hear that and I appreciate it so much. If you ever make a documentary with Ryan White, the director, he will be sure to let you know there's no chance in hell the project you're working on is going to get nominated or win anything. So I've just been in. It's not actually. It's not him being negative. He really gave me some insight into how this process works.

[Fortune Feemster]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

The politics of it, the politics behind it. He said, you know, the past few Oscars, there's been no American films nominated in this category. Just. There's a lot going on.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And. And I could sit and talk to you about it for like an hour, like, into even more detail.

[May Martin]

But, girl, we want to know, where were you when you got the call? What did. Did you get giddy? Were you freaking like that is. It's. It's. It's the childhood fantasy.

[Fortune Feemster]

I saw you on a Zoom. A zoom picture with no shirt on.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Yeah, well, that'll happen, especially when you're looking for it.

[Fortune Feemster]

Did you at least have Pontis on?

[Tig Notaro]

I had Pontis on.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

But the night before, we had a Zoom call with all the producers and everyone and Meg and Ryan again was like, so, you know, I've. We've been on the short list for the Oscar nominations a few times before, and he said, the morning it's announced, it's on Oscars.com. they go on stage, in a theater, in front of a live audience and just list off the nominees, just one after the other in every category. And he said, and I've set my alarm for 5am to watch this happen, only to not hear my project called. And he said, you know, and it's a bummer. He said, I'm not sure if I'm going to actually set my alarm tomorrow. And I originally thought maybe I would. And then after he said it like that, and then he was like, and there's not been any American documentaries nominated for the last few years. I was like, oh, I don't know if I can handle. I don't know if my heart can take, like not hear this documentary announced because it's really the first time I have campaigned and really given something my all in that kind of way. And I think it's because it was easier because I'm not the star of it, you know, and because I believe in this project and my friends and all of that stuff. So anyway, when Stephanie and I went to bed, she said, are you gonna set your alarm? And I said, I don't think I am. I think I'm just gonna go to bed and I'll just hear when I hear. She was like, all right. So I put on my, my eye mask and my earplugs and my breathing machine.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, your dilator mask.

[Tig Notaro]

Snuggle into my R2D2.

[Fortune Feemster]

And.

[Tig Notaro]

And then, yeah, I went to sleep and Stephanie Woke up at 5 and she was like, oh, I'll. I'll just watch this. Even though Tig isn't. So she watched it in bed next to me.

[May Martin]

Oh my God.

[Tig Notaro]

While I was snoozing up a storm. And she said that when they said, you know, feature documentary film or. Yeah, feature. Feature length documentary. And then they said, come see me in the good light. She said it was that feeling of like thinking you're crazy and you're misunderstanding something. And she was like, okay, wait, hold on a second. This says documentary. Best documentary film. Yep, that's it. That's a category, right? And Come see me in the good light.

[May Martin]

That's it.

[Tig Notaro]

That's the name of the. And Tig, right? That's her lying next to me. And so she's like, tig, oh my.

[Fortune Feemster]

God, you got the nomination.

[Tig Notaro]

And I'm like pulling all my gear off my face.

[Fortune Feemster]

I'm like, huh?

[Tig Notaro]

What? And she was like, you got nominated? I was like, no, no, we didn't. No, we did not. And she was like, yes, you did. That's the best feeling. Yeah, it was really wild. And all of you very kindly reached out and I was up at 6:30.

[Fortune Feemster]

So I gave you a early morning.

[Tig Notaro]

You did. Yeah, you did. And it was very much appreciated. And then our producers wanted to get on a a zoom first thing in the morning. And I was like, still lying in bed in my ponties. And so I got on topless.

[May Martin]

Yeah, you got to.

[Tig Notaro]

Because I'm a pro. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking if there's actually a pool at my hotel. I even packed my suit.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oops.

[Tig Notaro]

I was hoping to tread water on this trip, but all they've got is a broken treadmill and an exercise ball.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois.

[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feemster]

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[May Martin]

We Fortune, Zootopia 2. Also nominated.

[Tig Notaro]

What do you mean, fortune? It's the three of us. I mean, we're the stars.

[May Martin]

Sorry. Yeah, we're all nominated for.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you go to the Oscars?

[Fortune Feemster]

I don't. I don't know. I. I haven't heard yet. I don't know, like, where the cut off is. I don't know how many tickets they.

[May Martin]

Get, but aren't you the first gay beaver in a Disney movie?

[Fortune Feemster]

We know. No. No sexuality.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, we do. Yes, we do.

[Fortune Feemster]

I've done a couple of Oscar things for them. They want. They wanted me to do more, but I'm filming and I unfortunately not be being able to. To be a part of it. So I don't know. I have no idea if I get to go or not. If I do, amazing. If not, I'll be. That's fine too.

[Tig Notaro]

I could take you as my date to the Oscars.

[Fortune Feemster]

I'm sure somebody would love that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[May Martin]

I'm gonna appear as one of the waiters or something. You're gonna.

[Tig Notaro]

You'll. Good.

[May Martin]

You'll go to the bathroom and I'll be the bathroom attendant going, that's right.

[Fortune Feemster]

Guys, I've never. I went as a journalist to the Oscars back in the day in the press room, but I've never been.

[May Martin]

Wait, what? You were a journalist?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, May for seven years and talked about it for the first seven years of our podcast.

[May Martin]

Wait, how did.

[Fortune Feemster]

I.

[May Martin]

Did I really. I. I missed this?

[Fortune Feemster]

I don't know. That was my day job for seven years. I interviewed every celebrity in Los Angeles.

[May Martin]

I don't know how I didn't know that.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know.

[Fortune Feemster]

I definitely talked about it. Right, Tig?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God, yes. If I know and I remember.

[Fortune Feemster]

So sorry. It is something. It was. It was my day job. Like, I started it part time while I was an assistant. And then it led to a full time position. And I did it till 2010. And it was for the newspaper, a bunch of newspapers. And it was when online stuff was becoming a thing, like news online was just becoming a thing. It was syndicated. So you'd write it and it would go to like hundreds of newspapers.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

And then. Yeah. So I've. I would interview. It was entertainment journalism. So I would interview like actors on the phone, writers, directors. I would go to premieres, I would go to award shows, and I would be the person on the red carpet or in the press room.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you feel like a lot of journalists would want to be in entertainment outside of journalism?

[Fortune Feemster]

No.

[May Martin]

Like, oh, that's going to be me up there.

[Fortune Feemster]

A lot of the people I knew were like, if I had wanted to be a journalist, I would have had. That. Would have. I would have made it. That was a really cool job. But it just, they. And I worked for these amazing people. The. This. My boss, Stacy, knew I wanted to be a comedian, so she was very supportive of that. And like, I was taking Groundlings classes at the time at night, so that it was like the perfect job to like have to pay my bills. And it was cool. And it was adjacent to what I wanted to be doing.

[Tig Notaro]

Right, right.

[Fortune Feemster]

So I still got to learn a lot about the business. I run into publicists to this day who know you as a journalist. It's pretty trippy.

[Tig Notaro]

That's funny.

[May Martin]

What if I am undercover? I'm actually a journalist writing an expose on you guys. And I've done this whole podcast has been research undercover. Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I've been learning a lot.

[May Martin]

I'm playing a long game.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it's a really long game. Yeah. How much career going for someone just.

[Fortune Feemster]

Trying to be a journalist?

[May Martin]

But that's why I was going. This is not going to go past April. Right.

[Tig Notaro]

They're going to get back to work.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, and. And what's funny is I. I forgot to. I'm realizing this is mid February, that this is coming out. We're taping it a little early and I will have just been at the Independent Spirit Awards, so I wonder if I won.

[May Martin]

I wonder if you won.

[Fortune Feemster]

I've never been to that one either, but that one looks like a cool. Like a fun one.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that one looks cool.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

So I mean, imagine if we were all three of us hosting the Oscars and you were nominated. You're sprinting between your chair and the.

[Tig Notaro]

Stage and whatever has to be done.

[Fortune Feemster]

You know, we still need to get on our tap dancing lessons for whenever that day comes.

[Tig Notaro]

Maybe I'll wear tap shoes to the Oscars. And then if I win, oh my God, take, I'll take Maze into this. And then I just start tap dancing on stage.

[Fortune Feemster]

Click on, click on.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, while everyone's giving these heartfelt Andrea Gibson speeches, then I'm just like tap dancing in the background.

[May Martin]

Andrea would get, would get that.

[Fortune Feemster]

Andrea would love that.

[May Martin]

The temptation to do a bit on such a global stage like that is so.

[Fortune Feemster]

Do you think Andrea's whispering in voters ears?

[Tig Notaro]

I hope so. But you know, I have to say, and maybe I've said this to you guys before. Of course, I've heard a million times people say, oh, it's an honor to be nominated.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Not that I wasn't honored in any other nomination. This particular category is mind bending.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Have you seen the other documentaries?

[Tig Notaro]

I've seen some of them. I'm still in the process. But man, this is.

[Fortune Feemster]

And that.

[Tig Notaro]

Not to take away from like scripted or any, any other jobs in, in this business or awards or whatever, but documentary filmmakers that are working.

[Fortune Feemster]

On.

[Tig Notaro]

Passion projects for years, raising money independently and, and being in the scene because I've been on this massive, you know, press tour and festival tour and just meeting all these people. They're so interesting and talented and highly intelligent and yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's like, man, whoever wins. Yeah, sincere congrats.

[May Martin]

I met a documentary filmmaker who had been making a documentary about a kid who. But it was following him for 10 years. It was following him from age 10 to 20. And it was like they would do a couple weeks every year basically. But yeah, like a passion project. No funding, just like everyone doing it because they know they're making something amazing. And I just watched that documentary, Secret Mall Apartment on Netflix. Have you seen it? Group of artists, they are kind of trying to make a statement about like corporate, like this mall that bulldozed a bunch of old buildings in their town and like took over. And so they are really interested in this mall and they have all the plans to the mall and they find like a little pocket in the mall that you can access via one.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, well, I guess May went back to their, their investigative job.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. Whoever may have been called to hire things. That was wild.

[Tig Notaro]

That was wild.

[Fortune Feemster]

It's like you're taught you're saying too much.

[Tig Notaro]

We told you not to ever reveal you signed an NDA. Oh my God.

[May Martin]

Oh, okay, I'm back.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[May Martin]

WI Fi went out. They build an apartment in the mall. But I mean, with electricity. With. They somehow smuggle, like, a couch that they have to break into pieces and get up there. And they have it for four years where they are, like, living in the. I won't ruin it. But.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

What?

[Tig Notaro]

And this is all top secret. Nobody knows they're living in the mall.

[May Martin]

No. And there's close calls with security and all this stuff and the.

[Tig Notaro]

That would be exciting.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feemster]

That would stress me out.

[May Martin]

So stressful. But the magic of it is that they're like, we're just doing this as art, like, for no audience, no money. And they're like, life as art. Like. Like a big scale prank like that almost.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[May Martin]

And they remember it forever. And you got to watch it. It's really inspiring.

[Tig Notaro]

I would love to see it.

[May Martin]

Really good.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

I, too, am watching inspired television.

[May Martin]

What are you watching?

[Tig Notaro]

Sounds like. Sounds like maybe fortune is not watching Inspire.

[Fortune Feemster]

Tell me Lies. And it's on Hulu, and it's a bunch of people banging and being awful to each other in college reality. No, it's a real. It's scripted.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

And it. It'll really hook you.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Tig Notaro]

It's.

[Fortune Feemster]

They. They are so horny.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh.

[Fortune Feemster]

And also so awful to each other, and I don't know. Why would you, like, start watching and you can't stop. You love it. I love it.

[Tig Notaro]

And it's called what?

[Fortune Feemster]

It's called Tell Me Lies. And there's a bad boy. There's a bad boy named Steven who is. You will hate more than any character on television you've ever hated. Really? But he loves. Bang.

[May Martin]

Yeah. He's a hot bad boy.

[Fortune Feemster]

He's a bad boy that just knows how to put it down. You know what I mean?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

What did he put down?

[Fortune Feemster]

His wiener.

[May Martin]

He knows how to put his wiener down.

[Fortune Feemster]

Put his wiener down.

[Tig Notaro]

And you're saying the other contestants do not know how to put their.

[Fortune Feemster]

No, it's not contestants. It's.

[Tig Notaro]

It's.

[Fortune Feemster]

It's like a TV show.

[Tig Notaro]

Scripted. Oh, oh, oh, Whatever. Contest.

[Fortune Feemster]

And he has a. He has a girlfriend that he breaks up with for another girl. And then they're passionate and they love each other, and then he screws her over and gets back with the other one. And then they're all lying to each other, and they're mean and they're fortunate out. I'm just saying, you guys, I've also watched important stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

And what do you suppose that, like, what do you think sparks that interest for you where. Where you're Because I'm not saying I wouldn't be interested if I watch it. I'm just curious with you have it. You having seen it?

[Fortune Feemster]

I don't know. It's like one of those shows where you can't really describe why you're into it, but you can't stop watching it. I recommended it to another lesbian friend, and she and her wife could not stop watching it.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

I don't know. I don't know. Honestly, I don't know. Give one episode a try and see if you get hooked. If you're not hooked on one, you're probably not gonna be into it. Like, you know right away if you're into this vibe or not.

[Tig Notaro]

It's called Tell me Lies.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

Grace Van Patten is the star of it.

[May Martin]

Is the theme song. Tell me lies. Tell me sweet little.

[Tig Notaro]

No, but they do tell me, tell me lies.

[Fortune Feemster]

So it starts in modern day, but modern day for them is like, 20. 15. 15. And then it goes back seven years to when they were in college.

[May Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feemster]

So they. They have a really good music in this show, but it's covers of songs that were super popular in the 90s, and that's really fun, too.

[May Martin]

I like that.

[Fortune Feemster]

Can I say, not 90s, 2000s, like, Mr. Brightside and stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

So I don't know. I'm into it. And it made me realize that I was very boring in college.

[Tig Notaro]

Well. And so you're saying this is more inspiring than, like, come see me in the good light?

[Fortune Feemster]

I mean, in a different. Different kind of way.

[Tig Notaro]

Because what I feel like my documentary has going for it is, like, positivity and hope in the world.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. This doesn't have that.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[May Martin]

This is tantalizing synthesis.

[Fortune Feemster]

Dark Horny.

[Tig Notaro]

I was like, that is your spin off podcast, Dark Horny.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yes, I know.

[Tig Notaro]

And it's just you.

[Fortune Feemster]

Welcome to Dark Corny with your host, Fortune Feemster. Wow. Yeah. Listen, I'm just saying, I'm not comparing the two like apples. More like. Well, mine is oranges.

[Tig Notaro]

Apple tv TV to orange TV is what this is.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. But we're very excited for you.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, thanks. I appreciate the support, and it's gonna be interesting. It sure will. And, you know, when you said it's a childhood dream, I. I can't say I imagined I'd ever be doing anything that would call for an Oscar nomination. But it feels. It feels good, and it feels like everybody that worked on this film did exactly the right job to make this exactly what it is.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. So it was an inspired doc.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. About living man.

[Fortune Feemster]

The in memoriam at this Oscars is gonna be. We just lost Catherine o'. Hara.

[May Martin]

I know, I know. Very sad day for Canadians. Well, for everyone. But, yeah. So awful. I'm speaking of documentaries, I'm excited. There's a documentary coming out about the Melania. Yeah, I can't wait. No, the. This production of Godspell in the 70s in Toronto. Yeah. That had like Martin Short and Catherine o' Hara and Gilda Radner, Eugene Levy, Dan Aykroyd. They were all in this one.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

So that'll be good. And also what I was going to say before and now it's not relevant, but when I first moved to England, I was so bad at comedy and I did musical comedy and all I had was I rewrote Tell me lies, Tell me sweet little lies to feed me pies, feed me chickeny pies. It was bad.

[Tig Notaro]

Chicken pies, feed me.

[Fortune Feemster]

And you just sang that on stage and people were kind of like, huh, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Or did the crowd go wild?

[May Martin]

No, it was very much, huh, yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

When.

[Tig Notaro]

How long did you do that? And then go, I think I'm gonna move beyond chicken pot pie humor.

[May Martin]

I mean, it was this good six months. I was thinking they're just not getting it.

[Fortune Feemster]

But I'm gonna keep giving it to them. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, you should record it and we'll release it on the website. Am I right?

[May Martin]

Go. I feel like it was just that joke. It was just feed me pies, feed me chicken.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

We have an entire website that can just be dedicated to any song you feel like putting out there.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, right.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah. Around Easter time. You know what I'm doing.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. You're going to be singing to the Lord.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feemster]

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[May Martin]

I mean, if you're willing to go a bit further. I do love mixing in a hot tub with the cold. So Colorado maybe, or even the desert. I got a house out there on Airbnb with some friends. It was so good. Everyone had their own room. We cooked up like family style meals in the kitchen. If you wanted somewhere closer to home, would you do Palm Springs?

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, for sure.

[May Martin]

Another reason I love Airbnb is that booking with them feels so much more special than hotels. I've stayed at hotels where I've gotten on an elevator, had to find the right floor, and then search for the pool and the hot tub and then you find out they're closed. I just love the privacy.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay, well, this inspired me to book something soon, so I appreciate it, buddy. And if you're listening out there and thinking about your next trip, I highly recommend you check out Airbnb and do some traveling yourself. The new year is here. Get back into a handsome at home routine you love and elevate your space with Wayfair. From bedding and mattresses to storage solutions for every room in the house, Wayfair is your one stop shop. Refresh your living room with accent pillows, mirrors, and my favorite faux plants for way less.

[May Martin]

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[Fortune Feemster]

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[Tig Notaro]

Happy Easter. He is risen. Should we get to our question?

[May Martin]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yes, we should, Tig. Well, today's question. Asker is a hugely famous and popular drag queen and musician who won season three of RuPaul's Drag Race all Stars and served as a judge on Queen of the Universe. She produced and starred in the docu series Trixie Motel and launched her own cosmetics brand, Trixie Cosmetics, which that line is ginormous as well. Trixie Mattel is asking today's question. I love Trixie. I don't think Trixie's in drag for this question, but have you seen Trixie's? Trixie's drag is incredible. Yeah, that would take hours to put.

[Tig Notaro]

Not for me. Yeah, I could just slap that right on.

[May Martin]

You could do that in the car on the way.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah.

[May Martin]

One hand while you're driving.

[Tig Notaro]

Slap, slap, slap. There it is.

[Fortune Feemster]

I think Trixie is one of the best drag queens there is.

[May Martin]

Definitely.

[Fortune Feemster]

Trixie has a podcast with Katya, and their podcast is very popular as well. And I could watch clips of the two of them all day long. They are so funny.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, you gotta turn off Tell Me Lies for just half a second.

[Fortune Feemster]

I know it's hard to break myself away from all those Steven the Bad Boy, Dark College.

[May Martin]

It sounded like Gossip Girl to me. Like that vibe.

[Fortune Feemster]

It's way hornier than that. Whoa. Yeah, I don't know. They're just always doing it and they're always lying to each other. That hints. Tell me Lies. Their podcast, Trixie's podcast, is called the Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya. Very, very funny pod.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, let's hear it. Give it to us.

[May Martin]

Hello, folks.

[Trixie Mattel]

Over at Handsome. I am Trixie Mattel. At least I usually am.

[Fortune Feemster]

Hello.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know all of you separately, but not all of you together. I've been thinking about this a lot. Last summer, I had a pool party and I put on the invitation 2 to 5, and everybody was like, damn, bitch, jump in the water and get wet and leave.

[Fortune Feemster]

Huh?

[Trixie Mattel]

But I don't think it's rude when you invite people to something to add an end time. Do you guys think that's rude?

[May Martin]

I have strong Feelings. I. I love an end time because it means that people will arrive on time because they know that it's not like, oh, it says start at 2, but, you know, people won't get there till 4. It's like, you know, get there at 2 and then get out.

[Tig Notaro]

Ready to party.

[May Martin]

I'm ready to party. And then you could tell a select group of people, hey, I sat on the invite 5, but stick around after. You know what I mean?

[Fortune Feemster]

I know exactly what I know. You do do that.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

By the way, are you back to doing that again? What?

[May Martin]

Orgies? No, it has to happen organically.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

But, yeah, I am in that era again.

[Fortune Feemster]

I would say you're in that era again. Okay. Because I know you have a. You're still not. Yeah, you're not in. I know. I'm. I can't do that either. I know that you have a. Like, this is the. This is the party, the beginning party. And then there's a late party.

[May Martin]

Well, you're thinking about that one party you came to that became an orgy after you left.

[Fortune Feemster]

No, no, I was not at that party. But I came to the party a few weeks later where I was told, did you know what happened at the last party? And I was like, what? And then I heard tell of that. I don't know. I don't know if you did it again. Maybe you did it again.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't think I was even invited to any of these parties.

[Fortune Feemster]

Orgies.

[Tig Notaro]

My wife. My. My wife is invited. No, you were invited.

[Trixie Mattel]

You were.

[Fortune Feemster]

You were invited. You just don't go.

[May Martin]

No, I. I'm not at every party, like, doing. Telling people, stay after for an orgy. But I do if. If you don't give an.

[Fortune Feemster]

In that little personal invitation.

[May Martin]

No. As they come in, I slip a little card in their pocket.

[Fortune Feemster]

No, I don't. But I was like this tig at the party.

[May Martin]

Fortunes was about to go down.

[Tig Notaro]

I feel like that's you at any party. I've seen you at a party where you just kind of peek around and then you'. I gotta go.

[Fortune Feemster]

I got. Yeah. Because when. When things are. When it starts to get salacious, I do have to leave.

[May Martin]

You have to bounce fortune.

[Fortune Feemster]

I can't sit and watch that fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

I are bolting out the door.

[Fortune Feemster]

I do not want to be the old woman in the corner.

[Tig Notaro]

That's me.

[Fortune Feemster]

This.

[May Martin]

That wouldn't happen, though. It wouldn't. It wouldn't start if there were two people who didn't want to be there just standing against the wall.

[Fortune Feemster]

So so when it. There were no spectators, everyone was involved.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are we.

[May Martin]

We're back to the. We're back to the construction fair question.

[Tig Notaro]

Seems like fortune's interested in origins after girl.

[Fortune Feemster]

No, this is a light, soft body, and that cannot happen in one of these situations. I don't want. I don't need people looking at me while this is happening. You know what I mean?

[May Martin]

Everyone's just worried about themselves looking, you know, and looking all around at the. At the.

[Tig Notaro]

Nobody's thinking about you. They're just thinking out their own privates.

[Fortune Feemster]

And it's still not for me. I don't know.

[May Martin]

There was a. There was one spectator who said.

[Tig Notaro]

Was it my wife?

[Fortune Feemster]

Was it my wife?

[May Martin]

There was one spectator.

[Tig Notaro]

No, there was.

[May Martin]

There was someone who said, I. I.

[Tig Notaro]

Don'T want to keep her on a tight leash or anything. It's fine if she was there peekabooing, but go on.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. Who was this per. You don't have to tell us the name, but who was this person?

[Tig Notaro]

What's her name?

[May Martin]

A friend of mine. And. And she was like, I. Yeah, I'm not. I don't think I'm. She'd been in the last orgy. She was like, I don't think I'm gonna get involved, but I'm gonna be here to help. Like, if anyone needs me to pass them lube or whatever. Or, like, just needs.

[Tig Notaro]

You did.

[Fortune Feemster]

Wait.

[Tig Notaro]

That is. The shocking part is it's that that's used in an orgy. We're just like, oh, well, this has gone a little too far.

[Fortune Feemster]

Too much. I'm going back to the Christian pod we started with.

[Tig Notaro]

He is risen.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, my.

[Tig Notaro]

Name of your other pod is he has risen.

[Fortune Feemster]

I guess that that person can stay around and watch only because they did participate before.

[May Martin]

No, anyone could stay and watch if they're. Well, I don't know. I mean, I don't think anyone.

[Tig Notaro]

What does this have to do with. Should you. What is. What does any of this have to do with.

[Fortune Feemster]

With.

[May Martin]

Should we get an animation?

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, I think it has everything to do with it because.

[Tig Notaro]

Fair enough.

[Fortune Feemster]

If you have an end time, I.

[May Martin]

Think that's good, because the people that you don't want just hanging around leave at the end time.

[Fortune Feemster]

You've given those Fuggos.

[May Martin]

No, no, Come on.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait. What? What'd you say?

[Fortune Feemster]

The Fugos get an end time Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay?

[Fortune Feemster]

They don't get to be part of the. Do you know what faggos is?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't.

[Fortune Feemster]

Like, like, that's horrible. Ugly Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

Marie. What I can't believe you call people that be given.

[Fortune Feemster]

I would be given an end time. I'm included in this.

[May Martin]

No.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yes. I'm not. I'm not ripping on anybody else.

[May Martin]

How did this question become about me excluding people that on it for an orgy?

[Fortune Feemster]

Just making a joke. Everyone's beautiful. That was a joke?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I mean, I don't get it.

[Fortune Feemster]

But it's funnier to sayos than. Than the.

[Tig Notaro]

That is a fun word and it sounds a fun word, but when you.

[Fortune Feemster]

Make me say it.

[Tig Notaro]

Say it again.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's not as nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Say it again and tell us what it means.

[Fortune Feemster]

I don't want to.

[May Martin]

Do you guys want to play a game?

[Fortune Feemster]

No.

[May Martin]

Okay. So are you giving end dates? End times for your kids birthday parties?

[Fortune Feemster]

I'm open to a game. Why? You really don't want a.

[May Martin]

Okay, the game is just. And then you can decide. I'll put a big gulp of water in my mouth. Wait, Tig's taking her?

[Fortune Feemster]

Are you not participating? Wow.

[May Martin]

Wow.

[Tig Notaro]

Listen. I'll listen.

[Fortune Feemster]

How about a little. Yes. And over here. Go ahead. No, but I'm sorry. My friends being a fugo.

[May Martin]

It's just funny.

[Tig Notaro]

You can. You can. You can just.

[Fortune Feemster]

Off.

[May Martin]

Very good.

[Tig Notaro]

Also, when do we talk about the end of the party? Trixie. Okay. Go do your game.

[May Martin]

It's not even good. But no.

[Tig Notaro]

Who cares? No game is good.

[Fortune Feemster]

Stood up for you.

[May Martin]

Okay, if I put a. I put a big gulp of water in my mouth and then you guys one by one say. You say one word out loud and. And. And try to make me laugh and spit the water out. That.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

So it's one word and neither of you say please.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, that was my word.

[May Martin]

I know it was.

[Tig Notaro]

That's not mine.

[Fortune Feemster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Okay. I'm really gonna try not to spell it.

[Fortune Feemster]

Don't hurt your mic.

[Tig Notaro]

Pony rides.

[Fortune Feemster]

Wait, we said at the same time.

[Tig Notaro]

Pony rides.

[Fortune Feemster]

Cooter rides. Cooter Rides is Good.

[Tig Notaro]

Go to YouTube. This is the most handsome I've ever seen. May. Oh, I got a word for you.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Lube.

[Fortune Feemster]

Ah, no. Butthole. Lube. We gotta laugh. But no water spilled.

[Tig Notaro]

God, we're not good at this. Or May's really good at this. Big games.

[Fortune Feemster]

Tickle bitties. Do you have.

[Tig Notaro]

I would keep saying yeah.

[May Martin]

Swallowed the water. Should I put it back?

[Fortune Feemster]

I think we lost. No, I think we just lost.

[Tig Notaro]

That's a terrible game.

[Fortune Feemster]

You almost close, but you almost had.

[May Martin]

Me at Cuda Rides.

[Fortune Feemster]

I know. Kuda Rides was good.

[May Martin]

That was really good. I felt like I would Have I.

[Fortune Feemster]

Would have gone on a cooter ride. All right, Tig, we've been dying to know about your thoughts on the end time of a party. Yes or no?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Fortune Feemster]

Right.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I don't know if it was on here or another podcast I was doing. Who knows? We talk for a living, right? We have no idea what we're saying.

[May Martin]

No idea.

[Tig Notaro]

So I used to have, like, a big blowout, you know, I used to have, like, big parties.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, yeah. Because your birthday's coming up.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I'm done. I'm done. You're not gonna do it?

[May Martin]

What do you mean?

[Fortune Feemster]

I don't like that you're done. Because I never got to go to any of these places because I was.

[Tig Notaro]

Always gonn town invite you.

[Fortune Feemster]

You did, but I was out of town.

[May Martin]

I never been invited.

[Tig Notaro]

I. You know, maybe weird thing will happen and I'll do it again, but, like, I would go wide, big and wide with the party.

[Fortune Feemster]

What does that mean?

[Tig Notaro]

Like, just, like, bartenders and food and, like, every. Like, if I knew you on some level, you were invited to some degree. I mean, it's like. It's hard to invite everyone because not.

[Fortune Feemster]

Everyone from the orgies getting an inv.

[Tig Notaro]

No. Do you find it hard? I think we've talked about this, like, having moved so many times in life and being the ages that we are and the different professions that we've had of, like, keeping in touch with everyone. It is hard.

[May Martin]

It's really hard. And it's unnatural to have to be carrying on, like, a hundred conversations at once on your phone. Like, I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And different time zones.

[Fortune Feemster]

It's.

[May Martin]

It's really hard.

[Tig Notaro]

So hard.

[May Martin]

But that's why parties are good, because you got everyone in one place. You see them once a year, you know?

[Fortune Feemster]

I know. I don't think you should give up on parties. Yeah, you can, like, not have one this year, but then revisit it at some point.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you.

[May Martin]

Could we throw you one?

[Tig Notaro]

You could, you could, but after the Oscars and everything this year, I. Is when I'm having my first plastic surgery operation.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, my God, Yes. Back on.

[Tig Notaro]

Aren't you on my eyes?

[Fortune Feemster]

Found them in the dumpster.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, coming back. Couple of rodents hanging off of them, but they're getting sewn on, too.

[Fortune Feemster]

They both have ornaments on them, but.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I have my. We should podcast some night when I'm so exhausted because I am Popeye Face. Like nobody's business. My eyelid, the muscle of it cannot open.

[May Martin]

Can we podcast when you're recovering from the surge.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, for sure. Oh, that would be fun. Yeah, I would love to show everyone.

[Fortune Feemster]

Some kind of pill too. Yeah.

[May Martin]

With an eye patch.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Hello, everyone. It's your old sea captain Dig.

[Tig Notaro]

That's a really good impression of me.

[Fortune Feemster]

It'd be you with an eye patch because. Yeah, it would be a sea captain.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I'm for sure gonna get on, and as long as I'm feeling okay, you know, because apparently it can take a couple of weeks to really feel like you're back in your body. Hopefully it'll be sooner, but I am more than willing to get on here and be like, this is my new Hollywood face.

[May Martin]

Oh, I really want you to show up. And you've had a couple other things done too, just for fun.

[Tig Notaro]

Like what?

[May Martin]

Like Botox, so that you. I mean, not that you're, like, making crazy faces all the time as it is, but Botox, So you're really still.

[Tig Notaro]

I did Botox once for my. I have bad, like, head stuff.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And. And I was told that maybe Botox can help. And Stephanie was teasing me the other night about that. Those few months that I had Botox and how she goes. She was like, that was. She said you were one of those examples of like. You looked like a completely different person. Oh, my God. And I just said, please don't ever bring that up again. That was a mistake I made.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

But yeah, it's. I. I don't know if I can do that again. But it also didn't help my head at all. Yeah, but we all have our problems, right?

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But, yes, get out of my house by 5pm I also love an early thing. What I do enjoy more than a huge. Is just a dinner party. Oh, I love party. Eight to ten. People love that. And you hang out, start early. You have a few. Honestly. Yes. You have hors d' oeuvres and drinks and you just chat and then you move into the food when you're ready, listen to some tunes. I could do that until the cows come home.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But like a million people running around my house and property.

[Fortune Feemster]

Like, yeah, until stressful.

[Tig Notaro]

It's so stressful. And you don't get to sit down and talk to people one on one. And I just. I love that so much more. And if you add, like, the party ends at 8, but you're having a good time. You're like, guys, by the way, I wasn't sure if you'd be a fun bunch in a big group together. We can go till 8:30.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah, yeah, I, I do love an end time. I do not mind an end time at all. I will say if Trixie's friends are a little bit right in that, like, two to five for a pool party scene does seem short.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You know what?

[Fortune Feemster]

I would have added one more hour. One to five.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And pool party feels like it should be able to get a little wild.

[Tig Notaro]

Like cannonballs. What are you talking about?

[May Martin]

You gotta be doing cannonballs.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. If you'd ruined the whole part. Everybody was looking for a chill day and you're just like, belly flop.

[Fortune Feemster]

I, Yeah, I think I threw one pool party years and years and years ago and it was so much work. And I was like, never again. I'm not great at throwing. I don't throw a lot of parties, personally.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, but you want me to throw my big.

[Fortune Feemster]

I did.

[May Martin]

I did.

[Tig Notaro]

In my.

[Fortune Feemster]

From 30 to 35, I threw myself a lot of birthday parties. I did do that.

[May Martin]

Six a year.

[Fortune Feemster]

I mean, one a year.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, I was gonna say more than five in that wind time.

[Fortune Feemster]

And I had some good ones. I had one at the gay country western bar. I had one at a piano. The piano bar was really fun. I had one at my house. I had one. I don't remember, but I had some good B day parties back. Back in my single days.

[May Martin]

I miss the days where it's your birthday and, you know, I just gotta invite everyone in my class. Just the 25 kids in my class. And there's no hierarchy. It's just. Yeah. I went to a kid's birthday party on Sunday and there was a bouncy castle and pizza and then all these.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you know anyone there?

[May Martin]

No, I just was walking by, so. Looked fun.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

It was Sabrina's son's birthday and all the parents were there and it is weird that they don't know each other and they all have to socialize because their kids are there together. And then someone said to me, hey, a lot of these kids love the Beatles. You want to grab a guitar and play a Beatles song? And I, I, A part of me was like picturing this magical moment, all the kids singing along. And then I thought about what it would really be like and how I'd bomb and the kids wouldn't really want to listen and the parents would be like, what is this? And I get the. I get the lyrics wrong. And it would seem like I wanted.

[Fortune Feemster]

Attention and you didn't do it.

[May Martin]

I didn't do it. I didn't do it.

[Fortune Feemster]

You just got. When I find myself in times of trouble.

[Tig Notaro]

That's Bob Dylan singing the Maidels.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah. Speaking words of wisdom.

[Tig Notaro]

Let it be.

[May Martin]

Should we hear Trixie's answer?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I personally don't think that's rude. I think it gives everybody an idea of when things are meant to wrap up. Quality over quantity. Come over for lunch. Doesn't mean you should be here at 10pm do you guys think that's crazy?

[Tig Notaro]

Fair.

[Fortune Feemster]

Fair point.

[May Martin]

Fair.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

Because there are people that don't read the room.

[May Martin]

Yes. God. And it's never who you want to stay.

[Fortune Feemster]

It's never the. There's always one person that shows up like 10 minutes before the party starts. And then. And you're still like putting things out and they're just there not helping and staring at you.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

And then there's always a person you don't want to stay late is not leaving.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feemster]

So it's the time. The time bookends. Helps with the people that aren't as self aware.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well. And that's the problem with being so jacked up on drugs and alcohol.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's.

[Tig Notaro]

So we end there.

[May Martin]

That you don't pick up on cues.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm just assuming, like, if you're trashed and you're just like, party continues. Did I tell you about when I went to that party years ago? It's like Nick Kroll, Jason Sudeikis, Olivia Wilde. They had done like some film and they were like, hey, we're at the director's house. Come over and hang out. And I went over there and it was very intimate and like maybe 10 people.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh. And then.

[Tig Notaro]

I said to the friends of mine in the cast, I was like, okay, when you guys leave, I'm just gonna hang out. Out at your director's house and act like I don't pick up that it's time to leave. And so they all left and I was just sitting at his kitchen table and I was like, man, so that was really fun.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. You actually went.

[Fortune Feemster]

You could.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I did it. Oh, my God. And he was like, yeah. You know, and he was like cleaning up and you could tell, he was like, what in the hell is happening?

[May Martin]

You thought you were trying to bang.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But to this day, when I see him every now and then, then we have a laugh about that.

[Fortune Feemster]

You love a bit. Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I love an awkward. Wouldn't you want to see that? Wouldn't you want to see me?

[Fortune Feemster]

I couldn't put myself through the pain of that.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, but wouldn't you want to watch me doing it.

[Fortune Feemster]

I would want to watch you do it, but it would be painful to be the person doing it.

[Tig Notaro]

I need to have a prank show.

[May Martin]

Yeah, there's no audience for that. Your friends have left. It's just you and him.

[Fortune Feemster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

It's just I do so many bits just for me, and then I share them, so that's great.

[Fortune Feemster]

That's my nightmare. Well, being in an awkward situation, you thrive.

[Tig Notaro]

I love it. I love it so much.

[May Martin]

I have something really related to that, which is I took Par's daughter Alma to the Muppets premiere, and so I kept bumping into people I knew, and I was so excited. It was just me and my Kermit.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

My buddy Kermit.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[Fortune Feemster]

Like.

[May Martin]

Like, friends coming up. And then Alma was like. Like, geez. Like, people keep distracting us from talking. And I was like, yeah, it's. People keep coming over. And she was like, are they your friends? And I was like, some of them. But I said, actually, sometimes people come over, and I don't really even want to talk to them. I don't really know them that well.

[Fortune Feemster]

So they just know you from your IMDb score.

[May Martin]

I said, amma, you could say you could make up a reef. Could go, oh, May, you. We gotta go over here. We gotta. You know. You distract me. And she was like, okay, got it. Got it. And then this guy came over, over not five minutes later and was like, may, hey. And I was like, hey. And she goes, may told me they don't want to talk to people at this party and that they want me to make up an excuse to get them out of the conversation. I was like, oh, well, she's referring to something else.

[Fortune Feemster]

That is so funny.

[May Martin]

That was really good. She was doing a bunch of bits, actually, in the bathroom. She goes, maybe I flushed my hairband down the toilet. I went, what? And she goes, yep, it fell in. I flushed it right down. I was like, she's doing a bit. She goes, come in and look. And I go, and it's nowhere to be found. And then she'd hidden it behind the door. But if she really committed for a long time.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, she gotcha. She got me good. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

She and I need to have a prank show.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feemster]

Oh, my God. What if that was my story? I was like.

[Tig Notaro]

And after everyone left, I hung my hairband on his bathroom hook behind the do.

[Fortune Feemster]

You've been tigged.

[Tig Notaro]

And he didn't know it.

[May Martin]

Well, what a podcast.

[Fortune Feemster]

What a podcast, y'. All. Well, before we get into promotions, I want to Say really quickly that the handsome pod is doing a live show. It has been a minute since we have gotten to we did our Dynasty typewriter Holly Bobs. But this will be our next one in May, May 4 as part of the Netflix is a Joke Oak Festival. It'll be at the Wiltern. We've got really cool guests, Marlon Aukerman and Brittany Snow from the Hunting Wives.

[Tig Notaro]

Yep.

[Fortune Feemster]

So get your tickets. This is going to be a really fun big show and it will not be live live stream.

[Tig Notaro]

So yeah, it's gonna be a grand old time. Grand old time. You have to get your tickets right now.

[May Martin]

Yeah. I'm excited.

[Fortune Feemster]

The link is on our social media.

[Tig Notaro]

Pages and you can also go to tignotaro.com if you want to come see me live on my doing LA dates and final push. Check out Come See me in the Good Light on Apple tv. It is a documentary full of hope and life, even though it seems like it won't be. And a lot of humor in there too. So it's so beautiful. Please check it out. You can also sign up for Apple for a trial subscription if you're like, I don't have Apple tv be trial, trial subscription.

[May Martin]

I'm going on tour real soon. If you go to maymartin.net there's still tickets left and I'm going to Oklahoma first at the end of February and then in, I'm going to Texas and I would love to see everyone there. I want to sell it out. It's going, it's selling really well. But then there's some random cities that aren't. That aren't. I mean, I've never toured before, so I'm talking about this. Like this. It's crazy. Some cities don't sell and some do. But please come and see me maymartin.net it's going to be very, very joyful.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. Have a grand old time.

[Fortune Feemster]

I'm In San Diego March 7th and then the rest of my tour picks back up in April. All those dates I had to reschedule are definitely happening. Oklahoma City, Fayetteville, Arkansas, Little Rock, San Antonio, Des Moines, Toronto, Rochester, Minnesota, Cedar Rapids, Omaha, Portland, Maine, Detroit. Those are all coming up soon.

[Tig Notaro]

Love it. And please love you. Love you too. You as well. May Rate Review subscribe to this podcast and the YouTube page and please share your favorite episodes with friends. And let's keep building this community. Also, we're up for a GLAD award.

[May Martin]

Hey. Yeah, we are.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. For best podcast of the year. Hey. Hey, hey. So that's also why you should share the podcast because we are the best. We're number one in our hearts. Yeah, in our hearts. So until next time, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig, Notaro, May Martin and Fortune theme steer. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] follow us on social media Ansomepop God, what a podcast.

[Fortune Feemster]

Podcast. What a podcast.

[May Martin]

That was a hitgam podcast.

[Fortune Feemster]

Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that there will be a bench somewhere along the way on your next walk. Ouch. Sitting on a large boulder when you need a break just isn't the same.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds of hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds and.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have a new podcast on Head Gum called Next we have now this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how we law works. Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Doughboys play a game called Meal or no Meal, and Steph, Tola and I go head to head on a thought provoking game called Guess that Sound. The show is as dumb as it sounds and we probably have more fun than we should, but it's a great time and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next we have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast, Apple.