← Happier with Gretchen Rubin
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- [00:00]
Primrose Schools Narrator
Did you know that infants are ready to learn sign language, 2 year olds are ready to learn the basics of science and three year olds are ready to learn coding. Your child is ready to learn and at Primrose Schools, teachers make the most of this time by creating a joyful, purposeful learning experience unlike any other.
- [00:19]
Gretchen Rubin
For instance, have you heard of the Primrose Friends? In every Primrose School classroom, teachers use these 12 lovable puppets to make character development joyful, meaningful and memorable. From exploring generosity with Benjamin the Bear to practicing honesty with Peanut the Pony, every friend plays a special part in helping children learn important values while having.
- [00:47]
Narrator/Reader
Plenty of fun along the way. We can all use some friends like that.
- [00:52]
Gretchen Rubin
You can learn more@primroseschools.com now enrolling infants.
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Narrator/Reader
Through children age 5.
- [01:00]
Gretchen Rubin
That's primroseschools.com for more information Elizabeth when we're together for the holidays, we end up going to Whole Foods Market every day. There's so many things that we need. Like we're going to a party and one of us needs to bring a gift for the host. They have these expert curated cheeses and crackers that everybody loves. They have excellent limited time seasonal desserts like holiday Rum Cake, Creamy Buche de Noel which is one of our family's favorites, and more. Plus they have these show stopping things for the table like bone in spiral cut ham, well Gretch.
- [01:39]
Primrose Schools Narrator
I love that they have heat in each sides from the prepared foods department because you know that I am not much of a cook so heat and serve is something I can do. And they have floral Gretchen so you can bring a nice bouquet of flowers. If you're going to someone's house, shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market. Your holiday headquarters.
- [02:04]
Narrator/Reader
Lemonada.
- [02:18]
Gretchen Rubin
Hello, I'm Gretchen Rubin and this is a bonus episode of the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. As part of my ongoing exploration of happiness and human nature, I often look to great works of literature for insight. Stories help us reflect on what matters and at this time of year I especially love the tradition of reading or rereading classic holiday stories. For instance, in previous years, as a bonus in the Happier feed, I have read Charles Dickens masterpiece novella A Christmas Carol and also the haunting, timeless fairy tale from Hans Christian Andersen, his story the Snow Queen. This year, as my holiday gift to you, I am reading one of my favorite classic stories, the Gift of the Magi by O. Henry. And by the way, if you are used to pronouncing the word Magi differently, don't be surprised by my Pronunciation. It turns out there are many pronunciations for this word. The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry, is a bittersweet story that is just six pages long, but it is justly famous. It is often invoked as an example of selfless love, the true meaning of giving, and the transcendent power and mystery of sacrifice. The story was published in 1905, when O. Henry, whose real name was William Sidney Porter, was writing for the New York Sunday World. He had recently moved to Manhattan and was writing a news story every week to pay his bills. He understood what it meant to struggle. He was facing his own hardships, including time in prison for charges he always disputed. Perhaps that's why he could write with such compassion about people trying to maintain dignity in difficult circumstances. The young couple in this story, Jim and Della Dillingham Young, live in an $8 a week furnished flat. They're very young, deeply in love, and have almost nothing. And yet each desperately wants to give the other a meaningful Christmas gift. What unfolds from this very familiar situation has made this story one of the most beloved holiday stories ever, ever written. Now, as a writer, I'm always particularly interested in titles. Why does a work of art, whether it's a book or a play or a movie or a painting or a statue, why does it have the title that it has? As you listen to this story, consider the fact that its title is the Gift of the Magi. The Magi, of course, are the wise men who traveled from the east, following a star to find the baby Jesus. By tradition, they are three learned kings who brought rich, precious gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. As you listen to the story, ask yourself, why did O. Henry choose that title? At the end of the story, he himself explains the connection. I won't say more now because part of the pleasure of this story is discovering what happens. As a writer, O. Henry was famous for his ironic twist endings. So much so that the term O. Henry ending is often used to describe a story with a clever, surprising resolution. This story is brief, it's powerful, and I think it reveals something essential about what it means to love someone.
- [06:36]
Narrator/Reader
Well.
- [06:38]
Gretchen Rubin
Once you hear this story, you will never forget it. So here it is, my gift to you. The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry. $1.87. That was all she had put it aside. One cent and then another, and then another. In her careful buying of meat and other food, Della counted it three times. $1.87. And the next day would be Christmas. There was nothing to do but fall on the bed and cry. So Della did it. While the lady of the home is slowly growing quieter, we can look at the home furnished rooms at a cost of $8 a week. There is little more to say about it. In the hall below was a letterbox too small to hold a letter. There was an electric bell, but it could not make a sound. Also there was a name beside the door. Mr. James Dillingham Young. When the name was placed there, Mr. James Dillingham Young was being paid $30 a week. Now, when he was being paid only $20 a week, the name seemed too long and important. It should perhaps have been Mr. James D. Young. But when Mr. James Dillingham Young entered the furnished rooms, his name became very short indeed. Mrs. James Dillingham Young put her arms warmly about him and called him Jim. You have already met her. She is Della. Della finished her crying and cleaned the marks of it from her face. She stood by the window and looked out with no interest. Tomorrow would be Christmas Day and she had only $1.87 with which to buy Jim a gift. She had put aside as much as she could for months. With this result, $20 a week is not much. Everything had cost more than she had expected. It always happened like that. Only $1.87 to buy a gift for Jim. Her Jim. She had had many happy hours planning something nice for him. Something nearly good enough. Something almost worth the honor of belonging to Jim. There was a looking glass between the windows of the room. Perhaps you have seen the kind of looking glass that is placed in $8 furnished rooms. It was very narrow. A person could see only a little bit of himself at a time. However, if he was very thin and moved very quickly, he might be able to get a good view of himself. Della, being quite thin, had mastered this art. Suddenly she turned from the window and stood before the glass. Her eyes were shining brightly, but her face had lost its color. Quickly she pulled down her hair and let it fall to its complete length. The James Dillingham Youngs were very proud of two things which they owned. One thing was Jim's gold watch. It had once belonged to his father, and long ago it had belonged to his father's father. The other thing was Della's hair. If a queen had lived in the room near theirs, Della would have washed and dried her hair where the queen could see it. Della knew her hair was more beautiful than any queen's jewels and gifts. If a king had lived in the same house with all his riches, Jim would have looked at his Watch every time they met. Jim knew that no king had anything so valuable. So now Della's beautiful hair fell about her, shining like a falling stream of brown water. It reached below her knee. It almost made itself into a dress for her. And then she put it up on her head again, nervously and quickly. Once she stopped for a moment and stood still while a tear or two ran down her face.
- [11:17]
Narrator/Reader
She put on her old brown coat.
- [11:20]
Gretchen Rubin
She put on her old brown hat. With a bright light still in her eyes, she moved quickly out the door and down to the street where she stopped. The sign said Mrs. Sofroni hair articles of all kinds up to the second floor. Della ran and stopped to get her breath. Mrs. Sofroni, large too white, cold eyed, looked at her. Will you buy my hair? Asked Stella.
- [11:50]
Narrator/Reader
I buy hair, said Mrs. Sofroni.
- [11:52]
Gretchen Rubin
Take your hat off and let me look at it. Down fell the Brown Waterfall. $20, said Mrs. Sofroni, lifting the hair to feel its weight. Give it to me quick, said Della. Oh. And the next two hours seemed to fly. She was going from one shop to another to find a gift for Jim. She found it at last. It surely had been made for Jim and no one else. There was no other like it in any of the shops and she had looked in every shop in the city. It was a gold watch chain, very simply made. Its value was in its rich and pure material. Because it was so plain and simple, you knew that it was very valuable. All good things are like this. It was good enough for the watch. As soon as she saw it, she knew that Jim must have was like him. Quietness and value. Jim and the chain both had quietness and value.
- [13:03]
Narrator/Reader
She paid $21 for it and she.
- [13:06]
Gretchen Rubin
Hurried home with a chain and 87 cents. With that chain on his watch, Jim could look at his watch and learn the time anywhere he might be.
- [13:17]
Narrator/Reader
Though the watch was so fine, it had never had a fine chain. He sometimes took it out and looked at it only when no one could see him do it. When Della arrived home, her mind quieted a little. She began to think more reasonably.
- [13:34]
Gretchen Rubin
She started to try to cover the.
- [13:36]
Narrator/Reader
Sad marks of what she had done. Love and large hearted giving, when added.
- [13:42]
Gretchen Rubin
Together, can leave deep marks.
- [13:46]
Narrator/Reader
It is never easy to cover these marks, dear friends.
- [13:50]
Gretchen Rubin
Never easy.
- [13:52]
Narrator/Reader
Within 40 minutes her head looked a little better. With her short hair she looked wonderfully like a schoolboy. She stood at the looking glass for a long time. If Jim doesn't kill me, she said to herself, before he looks at me a second time, he'll say I look like a girl who sings and dances for money. But what could I do? Ugh. What could I do with a dollar and 87 cents? At seven, Jim's dinner was ready for him. Jim was never late. Della held the watch chain in her hand and sat near the door where he always entered. Then she heard his step in the hall, and her face lost color for a moment. She often said little prayers quietly about simple, everyday things. And now she said, please, God, make him think I'm still pretty. The door opened and Jim stepped in. He looked very thin and he was not smiling, poor fellow. He was only 22 and with a family to take care of. He needed a new coat, and he had nothing to cover his cold hands. Jim stopped inside the door. He was as quiet as a hunting.
- [15:12]
Gretchen Rubin
Dog when it is near a bird.
- [15:15]
Narrator/Reader
His eyes looked strangely at Della, and there was an expression in them that she could not understand. It filled her with fear. It was not anger nor surprise, nor anything she had been ready for. He simply looked at her with that strange expression on his face. Della went to him. Jim, dear, she cried. Don't look at me like that. I had my hair cut off and sold it. I couldn't live through Christmas without giving you a gift. My hair will grow again.
- [15:48]
Gretchen Rubin
You won't care, will you?
- [15:50]
Narrator/Reader
My hair grows very fast. It's Christmas, Jim. Let's be happy. You don't know what a nice. What a beautiful, nice gift I got for you. You've cut off your hair? Asked Jim slowly. He seemed to labor to understand what had happened. He seemed not to feel sure he knew. Cut it off and sold it, said Della. Don't you like me now? I'm me, Jim. I'm the same without my hair. Jim looked around the room. You say your hair is gone, he said. You don't have to look for it, said Della. It's sold, I tell you. Sold and gone, too. It's the night before Christmas. Boy. Be good to me because I sold it for you. Maybe the hairs of my head could be counted, she said, but no one could ever count my love for you. Shall we eat dinner, Jim? Jim put his arms around his della. For 10 seconds. Let us look in another direction. $8 a week or a million dollars a year. How different are they? Someone may give you an answer, but it will be wrong.
- [17:04]
Gretchen Rubin
The magi brought valuable gifts, but that was not among them. My meaning will be explained soon. From inside the coat, Jim took something tied in paper. He threw it upon the table. I want you to understand me, Del, he said, nothing like a haircut could make me love you any less. But if you'll open that, you may know what I felt when I came in. White fingers pulled off the paper. And then a cry of joy and then a change to tears. For there lay the combs. The combs that Della had seen in a shop window and loved for a long time. Beautiful combs with jewels, perfect for her beautiful hair. She had known they cost too much for her to buy them. She had looked at them without the least hope of owning them, and now they were hers. But her hair was gone. But she held them to her heart and at last was able to look up and say, my hair grows so fast, Jim. And then she jumped up and cried. Oh. Oh. Jim had not yet seen his beautiful gift. She held it out to him in her open hand. The gold seemed to shine softly, as if with her own warm and loving spirit. Isn't it perfect, Jim? I hunted all over town to find it. You'll have to look at your watch a hundred times a day. Now give me your watch. I want to see how they look together. Jim sat down and smiled. Della, said he, let's put our Christmas gifts away and keep them a while. They're too nice to use now. I sold the watch to get the money to buy the combs. And now I think we should have our dinner. The magi, as you know, were wise men, wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the newborn Christ child. They were the first to give Christmas gifts. Being wise, their gifts were doubtless wise ones. And here I have told you the story of two children who were not wise. Each sold the most valuable thing he owned in order to buy a gift for the other. But let me speak a last word to the wise of these days. Of all who give gifts, these two were the most wise. Of all who give and receive gifts, such as they are the most wise, everywhere, they are the wise ones. They are the magi. I just love this story. When I first heard it as a child, I was struck by that final insight. Jim and Della each sacrificed their greatest treasure, which meant that the gifts they gave each other were useless. And yet, O. Henry observes, of all who give gifts, these two were the most wise. Even as a child, I appreciated the irony and the transcendence of Della and Jim's exchange. When I read this story as an adult, however, I. I'm struck by a few lines that did not jump out at me when I read it as a child. Because I bring more to the story. I get more from the story. These lines are an aside addressed to the reader when the narrator observes Love and large hearted giving, when added together, can leave deep marks. It is never easy to cover these marks, dear friends. Never easy. I love an aphorism and I spent a long time reflecting on that one. What do you think it means? Love and large hearted giving, when added together, can leave deep marks. It is never easy to cover these marks, dear friends. Never easy. So as we move through the next week of holiday festivities, perhaps we can remember Jim and Della and the true gift they shared on Christmas Eve. Thank you for joining me for this special bonus episode. However you celebrate the holidays, I hope that this season brings you love, festivity, and the joys of giving and receiving. I'm Gretchen Rubin and I hope this makes your holiday season a little happier. From the Onward Project.
- [22:28]
Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson
Hi Gretchen, Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here we host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you. You know Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes. What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of of major life transitions?
- [22:54]
Gretchen Rubin
Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude, restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier. With greater self knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Wherever your get podcast, you can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships, Kiki Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success, Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.