A Little Happier: Do You Get Rattled Before Starting a Journey? Consider This Ritual. - Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Summary4 min read

Episode Overview

Podcast: Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Episode Title: A Little Happier: Do You Get Rattled Before Starting a Journey? Consider This Ritual.
Date: February 2, 2026
Host: Gretchen Rubin

This “A Little Happier” mini-episode explores the anxiety and chaos that often precede leaving for a trip, and proposes a gentle, meaningful Russian ritual—sitting on suitcases—as a way to bring calm, connection, and mindfulness before embarking on a journey. Gretchen reflects on her own family’s experience with this ritual, connecting it to deeper themes about transition, togetherness, and intentionality.

Main Theme

Reflecting on Journey Beginnings: Gretchen introduces listeners to a Russian custom called "sitting on suitcases" and explains how this simple ritual can transform the typically frantic moments before a trip into an opportunity for calm, connection, and reflection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Annual Reading Challenge and "War and Peace"

Personal Challenge: Gretchen shares her participation in a 2025 reading challenge:

“For the annual challenge, we challenged ourselves and readers to read for 25 minutes a day in 2025.” (02:05)
Family Connection Through Slow Reading: She describes a family project of reading Tolstoy’s “War and Peace”—reading one chapter a day with guidance from the newsletter Footnotes and Tangents.
Family Bonding:

“The War and Peace slow read was a highlight of my own reading year. I know so many people who joined in and loved it, and in fact, my mother, sister Elizabeth, and my father all did it together. And in the last months of my father's life, we often talked about War and Peace in the novel.” (02:42)

2. The Russian Ritual: Sitting on Suitcases

Origins & Purpose: Gretchen introduces the Russian tradition of everyone sitting quietly—literally on suitcases or anywhere—before leaving for a journey.

“In this ritual, before people leave the house to take a trip, all members of the house, even ones who aren't leaving, sit down in silence for a few moments.” (03:15)
Possible Origins: She cites various theories about its origin: appeasing house spirits, bringing luck, praying for safety, or ensuring nothing important is forgotten.
Contrast with Modern Chaos: Gretchen contrasts the calm of the ritual with her own family’s typically frantic trip preparations, noting:

“Getting out the door tends to involve a lot of running around, frantic double checking of necessary items, curt remarks, and banging around in hustling to get out the door. People, and by people I mean me, can get worked up and crabby…” (03:44)

3. The Benefits of Ritual for Transitions

Calm and Reflection: The act of sitting together allows for a collective pause, helping everyone to calm down, gather themselves, and potentially remember forgotten items.
Emotional Connection:

“…people who will be parted by this journey get a chance to be together, to reflect on each other, to acknowledge the transition, and to have the chance to say a few loving words.” (04:25)
Importance of Rituals:

“A ritual helps us remember to take time for what matters to us.” (04:36)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On participating in a family reading ritual:

“And in the last months of my father's life, we often talked about War and Peace in the novel.” (Gretchen Rubin, 02:49)
On the Russian ritual:

“All members of the house, even ones who aren't leaving, sit down in silence for a few moments… Perhaps people wanted to appease the house spirits before leaving… Whatever the original reason, this custom strikes me as a lovely ritual.” (Gretchen Rubin, 03:15–03:34)
On pre-departure chaos:

“Getting out the door tends to involve a lot of running around, frantic double checking…People, and by people I mean me, can get worked up and crabby.” (03:44)
On the value of ritual:

“A ritual helps us remember to take time for what matters to us.” (04:36)

Key Timestamps

02:03 – Gretchen introduces the episode’s main theme and her family’s Tolstoy reading challenge.
03:15 – Introduction and explanation of the Russian ritual “sitting on suitcases.”
03:44 – Personal reflection on family chaos before trips, contrasted with the ritual’s calm.
04:25 – The emotional and practical benefits of sharing a pause before departure.
04:36 – Final thought on how rituals help us focus on what matters.

Tone & Style

Warm, reflective, and thoughtfully practical—Gretchen Rubin’s signature approach combines literary reference, family anecdotes, and actionable wisdom while maintaining a gentle, relatable tone.

Summary Takeaway

Consider adopting the Russian ritual of sitting quietly together before a journey—whether on your suitcase or elsewhere—to bring calm, togetherness, and intention to what is so often a hectic moment. As Gretchen notes, these small rituals can make room for connection and ensure we don’t miss what really matters, even as we rush out the door.

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Transcript7 lines

[00:01]
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[00:29]
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[01:39]
A
And they also have flowers. The Whole Foods Market floral department has tons of gorgeous quality flowers with large blooms, vibrant colors and strong stems. Just the thing for a romantic night. You don't need to make a special trip to the flower shop. Taste the love all month at Whole Foods Market.
[02:00]
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Lemonade.
[02:04]
A
I'm Gretchen Rubin and this is a little happier this year on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. For the annual challenge, we challenged ourselves and readers to read for 25 minutes a day in 2025. As part of this challenge, one item on my 25 for 25 list was to complete the slow read of Tolstoy's masterpiece, War and Peace. For this terrifically enjoyable exercise, I joined the substack newsletter Footnotes and Tangents, where Simon Haysel guides readers through the novel as we all read one chapter every day for a year. The War and Peace slow read was a highlight of my own reading year. I know so many people who joined in and loved it, and in fact, my mother, sister Elizabeth, and my father all did it together. And and in the last months of my father's life, we often talked about War and Peace in the novel. I can't remember if Tolstoy mentions a particular Russian ritual that I love, one related to starting On a journey, a tradition called sitting on suitcases. In this ritual, before people leave the house to take a trip, all members of the house, even ones who aren't leaving, sit down in silence for a few moments. They can literally sit on the packed suitcase or on a chair or anywhere. There are several theories about how the custom got started. Perhaps people wanted to appease the house spirits before leaving. Perhaps people thought it brought good luck to prevent mishaps and to ensure a smooth journey. Perhaps people wanted to pray in silence for a few minutes. Whatever the original reason, this custom strikes me as a lovely ritual, at least in my family. Getting out the door tends to involve a lot of running around, frantic double checking of necessary items, curt remarks, and banging around in hustling to get out the door. People, and by people I mean me, can get worked up and crabby with this ritual. You go through that stage and then you all sit down quietly. You take a few moments to calm your mind and mentally prepare for the journey. This time might also give you the opportunity to realize that you'd forgotten to pack something important. And people who will be parted by this journey get a chance to be together, to reflect on each other, to acknowledge the transition, and to have the chance to say a few loving words. A ritual helps us remember to take time for what matters to us. I'm Gretchen Rubin and I hope this makes your week a little happier. From the Onward Project.
[04:48]
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Hi Gretchen, Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here we host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you. You know Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes. What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?
[05:15]
A
Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude, restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier. With greater self knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Wherever you get podcasts, you can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships Keke Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.