A Little Happier: The Parable of the Raft, or, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

Summary

Episode Summary: "A Little Happier: The Parable of the Raft, or, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There"

Introduction to Key Concepts

In this insightful episode of "Happier with Gretchen Rubin," host Gretchen Rubin delves into the timeless wisdom encapsulated in the phrase "What got you here, won’t get you there," popularized by executive coach Marshall Goldsmith. Rubin masterfully intertwines this modern aphorism with ancient teachings to explore the challenges of personal growth and the necessity of evolving beyond past successes.

The Core Message: Letting Go to Advance

Marshall Goldsmith's Insight

Rubin begins by highlighting Goldsmith's [02:30] assertion that the very skills, behaviors, and habits that have propelled us to our current achievements may become impediments as we strive for further progress. She emphasizes, "The skills that made you successful at one level can limit you at the next" (02:45), underscoring the importance of adaptability in personal and professional development.

The Parable of the Raft

To illustrate this concept, Rubin recounts the Parable of the Raft, a Buddhist teaching over 2,500 years old. [03:10] In her retelling, a man builds a raft to cross a dangerous expanse of water. Once he safely reaches the other shore, he contemplates carrying the raft with him, pondering its continued usefulness. Rubin explains the Buddha's lesson: "The raft was essential for crossing over, but it should not be clung to thereafter" (03:50). This metaphor serves as a poignant reminder that tools and methods must be contextually appropriate and that clinging to them can hinder further progress.

Adam Smith's Reflection

Rubin further enriches the discussion by referencing economist and philosopher Adam Smith from his 1759 work, "The Theory of Moral Sentiments." [04:15] Smith introduces a similar metaphor, illustrating the human tendency to develop an emotional attachment to objects or practices that have served us well. Quoting Smith, Rubin states, "We feel very loyal to it. We cling to it even when it no longer serves us" (04:45), highlighting the psychological barriers to letting go of outdated habits or tools.

Psychological Barriers to Change

Rubin synthesizes these teachings to explain why individuals often struggle to abandon practices that were once beneficial. [05:10] She notes, "When something has been very important to us, it's very hard to leave it behind. We feel very loyal to it" (05:25), capturing the deep-seated emotional ties that make change challenging despite logical recognition of its necessity.

Practical Implications for Personal Growth

Building on these insights, Rubin offers practical advice for listeners looking to embrace change and foster personal growth:

1. Identify Limiting Habits: Recognize which behaviors or practices have served their purpose and may now be holding you back from achieving new goals.

2. Cultivate Mindfulness: Develop an awareness of your attachments and assess whether they align with your current objectives.

3. Embrace Flexibility: Be willing to adapt and adopt new strategies that better fit your evolving circumstances.

Conclusion: Moving Forward with Intention

In wrapping up the episode, Rubin reiterates the importance of discernment in maintaining habits and systems that contribute to happiness and success. [06:00] She encourages listeners to thoughtfully evaluate their tools and methods, ensuring they remain effective as they journey toward new horizons. "We must leave it behind if we are to continue to reach our aim," she concludes (06:15), invoking both the Parable of the Raft and Adam Smith's observations as guiding principles for intentional and sustainable personal growth.

Final Thoughts

This episode serves as a profound exploration of the delicate balance between tradition and innovation in our personal lives. By weaving together contemporary wisdom with ancient teachings, Gretchen Rubin provides listeners with a nuanced understanding of why change is essential and how to navigate it effectively. Whether you're seeking to advance in your career, improve personal relationships, or enhance your overall well-being, the lessons from the Parable of the Raft offer invaluable guidance on letting go and embracing new paths to happiness.

Transcript

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[A]

Lemonade.

[B]

I'm Gretchen Rubin and this is a little happier. I love an aphorism, paradox, Cohen fable, parable, proverb and secret of adulthood. I also love teaching stories. One of my secrets of adulthood is important truths are too important to to be new. The same truths emerge over and over again, expressed in different words, different metaphors and different stories. Here's one example. A useful and memorable aphorism attributed to executive coach Marshall Goldsmith is what got you here, won't get you there. That phrase was the title of the bestselling book Marshall Goldsmith published in 2007, and I often hear people invoke that phrase. Goldsmith argues that the skills, behaviors and habits that help us succeed at one level of our career or life often become obstacles or limitations when we try to advance to the next level. As it happens, there's a well known Buddhist teaching story, often called the Parable of the Raft that makes the same point and has been around for more than 2,500 years. Here's my version of that story. Once upon a time, a man on a long journey came to a great expanse of water near him. The shore was dangerous, but he knew that across the water the shore was safe. He yearned to reach that distant shore, but he couldn't find a boat or bridge that would allow him to cross. So he gathered reeds, sticks and branches and bound them into a small raft in the until at last he was able to use the raft to paddle himself to the other side of the water. When he reached the other side, he looked down at the raft and thought, this raft has been so useful to me. By using it, working with my hands and feet, I reached the safety of this other shore. Shouldn't I bring my raft with me, lift it onto my head, or carry it on my shoulders as I continue my journey? The Buddha's teaching is that he should leave the raft behind. The raft was useful for crossing over, but it should not be clung to after it had served its purpose. In the same way, once we've received the Buddha's teachings, to reach a new understanding, we must let go of our former ways of thought. The Parable of the Raft reminds me of another teaching story from economist and philosopher Adam Smith's groundbreaking book The Theory of Moral Sentiments, published in 1759. Smith suggests why we might find it so difficult to leave that raft behind, and interestingly, he uses exactly the same metaphor, the metaphor of the raft. Here's a slightly edited version of what he we conceive a sort of gratitude for those inanimated objects which have been the causes of great or frequent pleasure to us. The sailor who, as soon as he got ashore, should mend his fire with the plank upon which he had just escaped from a shipwreck would seem to be guilty of an unnatural action. We should expect that he would rather preserve it with care and affection as a monument that was in some measure dear to him. I think Adam Smith's observation rings true and explains why the Parable of the Raft rings true and why Marshall Goldsmith's catchy phrase is quoted so often. When something has been very important to us, it's very hard to leave it behind. We feel very loyal to it. We cling to it even when it no longer serves us. And yet sometimes we must leave it behind if we are to continue to reach our aim. Three different teachers across the centuries have commented in their own way on an important aspect of the human experience. I'm Gretchen Rubin, and I hope this makes your week a little happier from the Onward project.