← Happier with Gretchen Rubin
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- [00:00]
Gretchen Rubin
Gretch, you know I am really trying to be healthier and I am succeeding. I want to say. But even though I'm trying to be healthier, that does not mean that I want to spend a ton on groceries. What I have found is that at Whole Foods Market you can save every day even without a sale.
- [00:18]
Elizabeth Craft
You can find these great prices in store and online. Shop Whole Foods Market on Amazon and get free pickup and convenient delivery on all your wellness journey essentials. Terms apply. Save on your wellness routine with great everyday prices at Whole Foods Market.
- [00:34]
Gretchen Rubin
Let's talk about a small thing that can make a big difference if you have diabetes, the Freestyle Libre 3 sensor. It's amazing how the sensor gives you real time glucose readings so you can see the impact of every meal and activity to make better choices.
- [00:49]
Elizabeth Craft
The Freestyle Libre 3 Plus sensor can help you live life with diabetes on your terms. This is progress. You can try it for free at FreestyleLibre US. Offer available for people who qualify. Visit MyFreestyle US to see all terms and conditions. Certain exclusions apply for prescription only. Safety info found at freestylelibre US.
- [01:15]
Gretchen Rubin
Lemonader.
- [01:30]
Elizabeth Craft
Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about how to be happier. This week is a very special episode because every 10th episode is a very special episode. For this episode we are doing an Ask Us Anything. We have a huge range of questions from listeners which we are going to tackle. I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, secrets of adulthood, human nature. I'm coming to you from my little home office in New York City, and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. My sister the sage, that's me, Elizabeth.
- [02:03]
Gretchen Rubin
Craft, a TV writer and producer living in la. And Gretchen, I am so excited to answer questions.
- [02:10]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, so let's just drive right in. We got so many interesting questions from listeners. Let's start with the first one.
- [02:17]
Gretchen Rubin
All right. Elena says, I'm interested to hear about your process of writing your 25 for 2025. Do you do them in one sitting or does it take several days slash weeks as ideas come to mind for next year, do you jot them down or let them go until better timing? Is the process the same or different from year to year? Has it evolved or stayed the same? And how long have you done this anyway? What is your historical success rate?
- [02:44]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, these are all good questions and we haven't been watching our metrics enough. Elizabeth, I'm not sure what our historical hit rate is. Definitely not 100% for either one of us.
- [02:53]
Gretchen Rubin
We know that no, I'd say it's maybe 75.
- [02:57]
Elizabeth Craft
I would say it's 50 to 75, depending on the year. And, Elizabeth, I don't know about you, but I would say starting October, I start keeping a list of things that I am going to consider. I often have more than 25, and then I cut it down. But then also a lot. Continue. One question is how many things I want to bump over that I didn't do the year before that I want to put into the next year. Sometimes I let things go, but sometimes, I mean, you and I both have had things that we've put on there for year after year after year until we finally get them done. So I do it at the end of the year.
- [03:28]
Gretchen Rubin
My will being one of those things.
- [03:30]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [03:30]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah, I'm the same. And the process doesn't really have any rules to it. I think this year I did categorize my list, which I'd never done before, and we'll see if I keep doing that.
- [03:43]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, it's interesting. There's no wrong way. But I do think it's hard to just sit down and bang out a list. I think it's better to let it sort of different things float to our minds at different times. So I think mulling it over a little bit before January 1st is helpful.
- [03:57]
Gretchen Rubin
And, Gretchen, we've been doing this since 2018, and it's like so many things where when we started it, we had no idea it would become this big part of our lives. We just did it on a whim because something a listener said made us think it would be a fun idea.
- [04:14]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah.
- [04:14]
Gretchen Rubin
Now it's a huge part of the podcast now.
- [04:17]
Elizabeth Craft
Some people do say, like, well, what are you going to do in 2075 where there's so many numbers? And I'm like, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. There's ways to deal with it. We'll figure it out. It's still manageable for the foreseeable future. And then, Elizabeth, Jessica has a question for you. Liz. I like that she calls you Liz. Everybody calls you Liz except for your family. I don't know how listeners know that, but they do. Liz, when you were on set filming an episode, is it filmed in chronological order as you wrote it, or are scenes filmed in a different order? Hmm, good question.
- [04:44]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes, it is not filmed in chronological order. It's filmed according to really location. So, you know, if you have a bunch of scenes in a dining room, all the dining room scenes are filmed at the same time. If you have one scene that's on a street, and then another scene is in a restaurant that happens to be near that street. You film those together. So it's really all about the cost. What is the most time efficient, cost efficient way to shoot? So the actor might have the most emotional end of the episode scene up first. It really just depends.
- [05:21]
Elizabeth Craft
Interesting.
- [05:22]
Gretchen Rubin
Diana asks, would love to hear how you maintain your sisterly relationship while working together. Well, I'd say, Gretch, working together actually helps us maintain our sisterly relationship.
- [05:34]
Elizabeth Craft
Oh, absolutely. Because we just talk to each other so often. We share so much. We've gone on sisterly adventures like our podcast tour, our hiking trip together. But, Elizabeth, I do feel very fortunate. Many people say to me, oh, I could never do something professional with my sibling. And so I feel very lucky that you are an extremely easy person to work with.
- [05:54]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes, as are you. And you are very organized, which really helps the whole situation.
- [06:00]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, you're very organized, too. I mean, it kind of looks different, but I would say you are very good at getting things done. But no, we really can rely on each other, and we have a lot of common interests. Yeah. We've just always gotten along very well, so. I totally agree. I think working together only helps amplify our sisterly relationship. So we're lucky.
- [06:18]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. That's part of why we wanted to work together in the first place.
- [06:21]
Elizabeth Craft
No, because for years we'd been saying, oh, we should do something together. Your idea was, oh, let's have a radio show together. My idea is, let's write a novel together. And neither one of those really came to pass. But then the podcast thing really worked. So we had been really trying to figure out a way to collaborate for years. And so this was sort of the excellent solution. And Elizabeth, here's another one for you. Andrea asks, would like to hear more about Liz's type 1 diabetes management.
- [06:46]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay, well, that's obviously huge subject, but I can sort of try to put it in a nutshell. The biggest thing is I have a glucose monitor, a wireless glucose monitor that I wear that on my phone. I can see at any time what my blood sugar level is. So that's really the key to diabetes, is knowing your blood sugar level, having it at a good place. I use insulin many times a day. I mean, five times a day. Anytime I eat. Not anytime I eat, but, you know, a meal, certainly, and often snacks. I take insulin. That's short acting insulin. Then I also take a long acting insulin every night. That's like a 24 hour. I watch What I eat I've added, as I've talked about on the podcast Mounjaro, which is similar to Ozempic as a shot I take once a week. That has had a huge impact on my diabetes and been extremely helpful. And then I take a bunch of other medications. I take Jardiance, which is a diabetes medication. I also, because I'm diabetic, I take a statin because that's an issue for diabetics. So I take a lot of pills, I take a lot of shots, and I monitor myself 24 7. And as such, it may not sound like it, but I live like a very normal life.
- [08:08]
Elizabeth Craft
And that's the thing is for anybody who's thinking, oh my gosh, this sounds overwhelming, you've made it so it doesn't stop you from doing anything you want.
- [08:14]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. And I just like, if I have to give myself a shot, I'm at a restaurant, I just do it right there at the table. And there are people who I've gone to dinner with for years and I've done this for years. And then I'll say, well, you know, I'm type 1 diabetic. And they'll say, what do you take? Insulin? And I'm like, yeah, didn't you see? I just took it five minutes ago and they don't even notice.
- [08:35]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, this is what they call the spotlight effect. That everybody thinks that you're much more in the spotlight and that people are paying much more attention to you than you think. And it's like, yeah, people aren't really paying as close attention. So that's interesting.
- [08:45]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah, yeah. So thanks for asking, Andrea. Jillian said I'm an unhappy lawyer and would love to be a writer. Any tips on making the switch? Well, Gretchen, you made that switch.
- [08:56]
Elizabeth Craft
I did make that switch. There is a book written by a friend of mine, so full disclosure, it's a friend, but which I think is super helpful. It's called the Creative Lawyer. I think it's useful for anybody who's switching careers, but it's really written for lawyers and it's about making any kind of switch. But being a writer would be one of the main examples in the book of how to do it in a very thoughtful and sensible way. Because I think sometimes people are like, I have to give up my full time job and quit work and spend 100% of my time writing the great American novel. And that feels too scary. And so I don't do anything. Is really talking about, well, how could you go about doing it gradually? So I would Offer that as a resource. And then I would also say, for me, what was really helpful was I had an idea of what I wanted to write and I started writing it. And then I bought a book called how to Write and Sell youl Nonfiction Book Proposal. So having something that you're working on that makes you feel like a writer because you're actually creating something. And now there's so many ways to get your work out into the world without waiting for a book, which is a whole big process. Have a substack, have a blog, start a podcast. Start getting your words out into the world. I mean, you could do it on social media with some kind of interesting thing. I think start writing and start trying to connect with people through your writing. Another helpful resource is the blog of Jane Friedman called Reporting on the Publishing Industry. She's got all kinds of resources, explainers. You may want to write a book and self publish it and just do it for your own pleasure and your own audience, and that's great. If you want to become a writer as a professional decision, then you want to understand how it works as an industry. I think reading Jane Friedman site is a. Is a really good place to start.
- [10:35]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. And Gretch, I have to add a writer's group. Having a writer's group.
- [10:39]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [10:39]
Gretchen Rubin
Puts you in that mindset. Being around other people who want to write, I think is super helpful. And they can read each other's work and that's super helpful.
- [10:48]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. And you hold each other accountable and you can share tips and insights and information. That's a great, great suggestion. Andrew asks, please explain more about your weightlifting routines. Now. I love my weightlifting. So this is high intensity weight training, which is where you work on the outer limits of your strength, so you work to failure. So instead of doing what I used to DO, which is three sets of 12 repetitions at a modest weight or medium weight, this is. You're working so that after 8 or 12, you can't do anymore. This kind of training, which is sometimes called super slow or sometimes called high intensity, it's the idea that this is more efficient. And I have to say, like, I do it for 20 minutes once or twice a week. And I remember when I first started it, I was looking at my body and I'm like, what is that? I'm like, oh, my gosh, I have a muscle.
- [11:37]
Gretchen Rubin
It's a muscle.
- [11:38]
Elizabeth Craft
I've never had a muscle before. I didn't know I could do that. So this is a great way of training. If you're pressed for time or you don't like exercise or if you don't like to sweat. Like Jamie, my husband, when he does it, he says he gets sweaty, but I never get sweaty. And so it's a great thing if, like, you don't want to have to take a shower, you'd want to have your makeup done. And yet it's incredibly intense. I had somebody at a dinner party being like, well, if you're not breaking out in a sweat, it's not exercise. And I said to him, look, you go do it. Go do it for 20 minutes. And then you tell me if you think you've had a workout. Because I have times where I just have to, like, lie down and recover myself.
- [12:14]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. I could sometimes need a nap halfway through.
- [12:17]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [12:17]
Gretchen Rubin
And I just want to mention also that it's great for bone density, so especially for women who have issues with bone density, lifting heavy weights really is one of the best things you can do for your bone density.
- [12:30]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, it's just a great, efficient way to do a lot of really good things for your body.
- [12:33]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay. Sarah asked, does it bother you if people respectfully approach you in public to express gratitude for your show? I'm visiting New York City in May and hoping I cross paths with Gretchen at the Met. Any hidden gems of Must See for my theater loving senior and my visual artist college kid. We are coming from Louisiana. Well, you love it when people say, hi, Gretch.
- [12:56]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, we both do. We both love it when people say hello. Many people have stopped me in the Met. I get the hugest kick out of it, so. Absolutely. And Melissa, I know you were voice recognized in a drugstore.
- [13:06]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes, many times. Usually when I'm in Encino, because people know I live at Encino.
- [13:10]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, and I think that's why people recognize me in the Met because they sort of think that I might be there. And in fact, I am there. So. Yes. And if there is a hidden gem, I would say. The one thing that I would say you absolutely should not miss is the Scholars Court on the second floor, which is this indoor garden with plants and water that's on the second floor of the Met. I love it. And then also something that a lot of people don't see, which is the visible storage in the American Wing. And so those are both very. There's so many beautiful things to see at the Met, but those are unusual things to see, so I would look for both of those.
- [13:43]
Gretchen Rubin
Yay.
- [13:44]
Elizabeth Craft
Betsy said, is there a habit you've struggled for years to break and still can't give up? Well, Elizabeth, you know what mine is, I bet?
- [13:50]
Gretchen Rubin
Hair twisting.
- [13:51]
Elizabeth Craft
Hair twisting, which I consider a nervous habit, which I distinguish from a habit like brushing your teeth or getting into meditation. I think nervous habits are different, but it is. It is a habit that I've had my whole life. Our mother has worked tirelessly to try to help me break this habit. And I still hair twist.
- [14:07]
Gretchen Rubin
But you're about 85 to 90% better.
- [14:10]
Elizabeth Craft
I'd say I'm much better. I am much better than I used to be, for sure. But I still at least once every day I'm twisting my hair for sure. How about you, Elizabeth?
- [14:20]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, a few things. One, I struggled not to snack at night, but the aforementioned Manjaro has really helped with that. So I think I'm a lot better about that.
- [14:30]
Elizabeth Craft
Interesting.
- [14:31]
Gretchen Rubin
And then a habit I struggle to keep is really more of an issue. And that is the flossing twice a day. I'm still struggling with floss. You know, flossing just isn't enjoyable. No, it's just not. So I try. I try.
- [14:46]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah. Yeah.
- [14:48]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay. Coming up, Susie wants to know if we've reached our happiness goals yet. That's a big question. But first, this break.
- [15:04]
Elizabeth Craft
This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts and exclusive Audible originals that'll inspire and motivate you. Just open the app and tap into your well being with advice and insight from leading influencers, experts and professionals. Whatever your focus or interest, there's a listen for it on Audible. You'll find titles on better health including personal fitness, nutrition and relaxation.
- [15:33]
Gretchen Rubin
Gretch I am all about Audible. I cannot get enough audiobooks right now I'm listening to colored television by Danzi Senna and I am obsessed with it. Plus on Audible you can find insight and expert advice on health, relationships, career, finance, so much more. Start listening today. Sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com Happier Dell Technologies is celebrating with anniversary savings on their most popular tech. For a limited time only, save on select next gen PCs like the XPS 16, powered by Intel Core Ultra processors and more. Unleash more possibilities with cutting edge systems, our most advanced features and great prices. Plus curate your dream setup with deals on select monitors, mice and more. Must have electronics and accessories.
- [16:37]
Elizabeth Craft
When you shop online@dell.com deals you'll have access to state of the art technology to match your forward thinking spirit and free shipping on everything. Anniversary savings await you for a limited time only@dell.com deals that's Dell.com deals.
- [17:01]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay, Gretch, we are back. So Susie asks, have you reached your happiness goals yet? When will you be sad, Satisfied? I think that's such an interesting question.
- [17:11]
Elizabeth Craft
I mean, the title of our podcast is Happier, because I don't think that happiness is really something that we reach. It's not, oh, now we've crossed a finish line, and now it's like, how do we stay here 24 7? I think it's really a process, and it's so. It's not a goal that I would expect to reach. It's a process that's always changing and always needs to be maintained and is always evolving. So I don't think it is a goal that could be reached. It's just something to keep thinking about and working towards. That's how I would say it. Elizabeth, how about you?
- [17:42]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, you talk about living in an atmosphere of growth, which to me, out of everything you've talked about, is the thing that resonates most with me. So I kind of see happiness as living in an atmosphere of growth, which by definition, is ongoing.
- [17:58]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [17:59]
Gretchen Rubin
So, yeah, I don't really think about.
- [18:01]
Elizabeth Craft
It that way exactly. Steph says going to Winstead's is on my 25 for 25 list. What is a must have menu item? Winstead's, of course, is our favorite diner in Kansas City. We are rarely there overnight. Before we go to Winstead's, we often go straight from the airport. Elizabeth, what do you think is the must have?
- [18:18]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, definitely a double Winstead burger with everything, to me, is the absolute must have. You have to have at least a double. You get a triple, but you don't have the bun.
- [18:28]
Elizabeth Craft
I get a plain triple. Yeah, because they're very thin and lacy. That's what makes them unusual, that the patties are very thin. Signature is the Frosty. I don't have the Frosty since I don't eat sugar. But they are delicious and played a big role in her childhood. They're like milkshakes.
- [18:43]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. And if you're going with a few people or especially kids, I think a skyscraper is really fun to have. We have them maybe once every, like, 10 years. But a skyscraper, it's like a giant.
- [18:54]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah. Giant ice cream confection. And then pay attention to the ice. No place has ice as good as Winstead's, so try the ice.
- [19:03]
Gretchen Rubin
Absolutely true. And I always get the onion rings extra crispy. Also, the fries are delicious.
- [19:08]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [19:09]
Gretchen Rubin
And that's about the whole menu, Gretch. We just kind of ran through the entire menu.
- [19:13]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, the limeade Some people really like the limeade, I think.
- [19:16]
Gretchen Rubin
True.
- [19:17]
Elizabeth Craft
We've never gone deep into the limeade situation.
- [19:20]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay, Greta wants to know, what's a book genre you haven't historically liked? Would you try it for read 25 and 25? What an interesting question.
- [19:30]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, I'm unusual in that I don't like mysteries, which is such a popular form. And I do like I read the Crow Trap because my husband Jamie loved it. My daughter Eliza loved it. And so I'm like, well, they both love it, and I really enjoyed it. But in the end, I don't care that much about mysteries, whereas I love something like science fiction and fantasy, which other people do not like. How about you, Elizabeth?
- [19:49]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, I don't love cozy mysteries. I like mysteries, but not a cozy mystery, as Sarah and I talk about on Happier in Hollywood.
- [19:58]
Elizabeth Craft
Ah.
- [19:59]
Gretchen Rubin
I don't love science fiction, and you're always trying to get me to read science fiction. Yeah, but Gretchen, I will say I'm planning to read 4th Wing in 25, which I think is a fantasy, so I am stepping out in 25.
- [20:13]
Elizabeth Craft
I read that. Yeah. Okay. Well, we will discuss. Samantha asks, did you two look similar when you were younger? For sisters, you don't look alike to me. We don't look that much alike, do we, Elizabeth?
- [20:23]
Gretchen Rubin
No. And we never have. We do not look alike. I mean, our coloring is so different, for starters, but our faces really don't look alike. Nobody's ever thought we look alike.
- [20:34]
Elizabeth Craft
No, we don't look alike.
- [20:35]
Gretchen Rubin
Chloe says, what are your top New York City department stores for lunch? And what would you like to order?
- [20:43]
Elizabeth Craft
Ooh, you love a department store lunch. And I always use this as an example of sometimes you love something without realizing you love it. And then when somebody else says, I love this thing, you're like, I love this thing, too. Because the minute you said that, I was like, oh, my gosh, I love a department store lunch. I think Bloomingdale's is probably my favorite department store lunch.
- [20:59]
Gretchen Rubin
I'm tied with Bloomingdale's and Bergdorf's. Bergdorf's has such a gorgeous place. But at Bloomingdale's, my favorite thing there historically has been their tuna fish sandwich. In fact, that's where I first learned that I liked tuna fish sandwiches. I went there with mom, and I had a tuna fish sandwich on pumpernickel, and I was just in heaven. And that, to me, is the ultimate lunch forever and ever.
- [21:28]
Elizabeth Craft
Mel asks, would you do another podcast tour, Elizabeth? We would love to do another podcast tour. We've talked about it from time to time, so. Yeah, we would love to do that.
- [21:36]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. I think that's just the stars aligning situation. Yeah, it will happen. It's just a question of when.
- [21:42]
Elizabeth Craft
With your fabulous Hollywood schedule, it can be hard to pull something like that off. But, yes, when the stars align, we would love to do it again.
- [21:50]
Gretchen Rubin
Julia said, what happened at that watercolor class? What did the watercolor teacher do or not do? Why was she such a bad teacher? I am dying to know. Yeah. So, Gretchen, this is referring to a watercolor class you took last year that you didn't like the teacher and it put you off watercolors and it's been hanging around in your mind.
- [22:18]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [22:18]
Gretchen Rubin
Tell us what was so bad.
- [22:20]
Elizabeth Craft
Okay, well, you have to come to this knowing that I'm a very systematic person. I'm an upholder. So I'm like a rules follower. I like to know all the information, and I know nothing about watercolor. Nothing. And this teacher was just throw you into the water. She didn't give a supply list. They sent us a supply list. And then she was asking us about our supplies. And somebody said, well, this is your supply list. And she goes, oh, I would never give a supply list. I'm like, well, somebody sent us a supply list. So she didn't even know what supplies we had. She never explained something like, what is the nature of the paper? What is the differences in the brushes? What is the difference between pan and tube watercolor? How do you hold a brush? How do you use a palette? How do you think about water? She would just paint and then comment on the painting. And at one point I said to her, can you explain what you're doing, like, while you're doing it? And she said to me very indignantly, well, some people don't learn through words. And I was like, well, some people do. And I can't even see what you're doing. Tell me what is going on. And so I felt like I had no foundation. And so now that I'm. Because I'm doing watercolor every single day in 2025, I've been really looking for videos where they're like, these are the main types of brushes and these are the names for them. And this is why you would use a mop brush, and this is why you would use a rigger brush, and this is why you would use a round brush. And I think for some people, that they might have been really enthralled by this. Or like one time she said to us, well, bring in an image of something that you want to paint. So then people brought in images and then she was like, oh, well, you shouldn't have brought an image that was already a paint. Okay, well, you should have said that before everybody went out and brought in an image. And now they're sitting in a class not knowing what to do with themselves. It's like she didn't want to be a teacher. She just wanted for us to watch her. And she was perfectly pleasant and nice. Like I enjoyed her company. And again, it's because I didn't want to just feel my way through it and experiment and play. I wanted to come out of it feeling like I am learning from the ground up, from the basics to then using them. And so for me, I just felt the longer the class went on, the less I enjoyed it because I just felt like I'm just throwing paint on a page. I don't even know what I'm doing. Like, we were halfway through and she's like, oh, you should use cold pressed paper. And I was like, I don't even. What does that mean? Why? It just felt like it wasn't giving me what I wanted. And it did. It really soured me. Like you said. It took up all this real estate in my brain. But the good news is, a listener pointed this out about reframing is. I think it really did make me committed to the idea. I do want to learn to use watercolor. I don't want this to stop me. And now I'm doing it in a way that's right for me. Because I'm just finding. I'm finding the information as I need it. So it takes a little bit of work. Cause I have to look for what I want. But I am gaining skills and learning what I need. And I'm really, really enjoying it. So it didn't stop me in the end. But I think for another kind of person, she might have been a good teacher. But for me, she was exactly the wrong kind of teacher.
- [25:09]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, it reminds me, Gretchen, of a cooking class I took in New York in the Village when I was in my 20s. And it was called, like, how to Boil Water 101.
- [25:19]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, yeah.
- [25:20]
Gretchen Rubin
But nobody taught me how to boil water. I expected to go in there and know what sauteing was and how to chop things. It put me completely off cooking. I remember we made Southwestern meatloaf and I had no idea what was going on. And I never went back because it wasn't what it said it was going to be. I wanted someone to Sit down and say, this is a knife.
- [25:44]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [25:45]
Gretchen Rubin
This is a fork. And it just assumed knowledge that there was no way I had. So anyway, I hear you.
- [25:53]
Elizabeth Craft
There is something called the knowledge bias, which is that people who know something find it very hard to put themselves back into the position of something. Who of people who don't know that. One example of this is like the people who design television remote controls don't realize how baffling a television, like a fancy television remote control is to the average person because they understand how it works. So it makes perfect sense to them. It feels very intuitive. It's like you have this knowledge that you're bringing to it. She's like, well, who doesn't know what cold pressed paper is? Well, obviously a round brush is the basic brush of watercolor. Who doesn't know that? And you're like, oh, I don't know that.
- [26:26]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [26:26]
Elizabeth Craft
I have no idea what you're talking about.
- [26:28]
Gretchen Rubin
So expectations.
- [26:30]
Elizabeth Craft
All's well that ends well.
- [26:31]
Gretchen Rubin
Although I never did learn to cook. You're doing better with your watercoloring than I am.
- [26:35]
Elizabeth Craft
But see, I got right back in the saddle because I was afraid of. I don't go back to this. It's sour to you on cooking just the way I got soured on watercolor. Yeah.
- [26:42]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [26:43]
Elizabeth Craft
Remember the people who know nothing.
- [26:44]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [26:45]
Elizabeth Craft
We need help. Karen says, I've searched your website and I don't see how to sign up to be a super fan. I listen to all your podcasts, live the trifecta, New Year's activities and everyone in my house knows I can just say Gretchen shared and you are a household happiness name. Oh, that is so fantastic. Well, thank you Karen for asking. Yes, it's happiercast.com superfan. No hyphen or anything, just super fan. And I love for people to join. I sometimes will send people a little bonus or ask for a little favor or give a preview of something. So thank you for asking. And everybody join the super fans if you want to be part of that.
- [27:21]
Gretchen Rubin
All right, coming up, we have a don't break the chain question. But first, this break. Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99 of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn more@discover.com credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report. Let's talk about a small thing that can make a big difference if you have diabetes, the Freestyle Libre 3 sensor. It's amazing how the sensor gives you real time glucose readings so you can see the impact of every meal and activity to make better choices.
- [28:19]
Elizabeth Craft
The Freestyle Libre 3 sensor can help you live life with diabetes on your terms. This is progress. You can try it for free at FreestyleLibre US. Offer available for people who qualify. Visit MyFreestyle US to see all terms and conditions. Certain exclusions apply for prescription only safety info found@freestylelibre us.
- [28:43]
Gretchen Rubin
All right, Gretchen, we're back with more questions. This comes from Andy. She says obliger here. I wonder if Liz or any of the listeners have a love hate relationship with the don't break the chain concept. At times I can be very motivated by tracking a habit I want to change and keeping a streak going. But once I break the chain, it's all over. It's like not going to the gym because I've already paid for it. I would love to know if anyone feels the same and has come up with a safeguard for if the chain is broken. Well, I do think a lot of people struggle with this Gretch. Once they're off, then they say, well, forget it, I'm off. I've just tried to kind of see the don't break the chain is like when you're meditating and they say if you have a thought, just keep it going down the river. Yeah, if I miss a break the chain day or moment, I just let it keep going down the river, but I'm back on.
- [29:40]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, I think with habits we have to keep two things in mind at the same time that are intention. One is you really, really don't want to break the chain because habits form most easily and most strongly when you're very, very consistent. But at the same time you want to show compassion for yourself if you screw up or you miss a day here or there or something goes wrong. And research shows that if you show more compassion to yourself, you're better able to reengage. So it's not helpful to be super, super hard on yourself. So I think the thing is to say, and this is something that I've done in the past, which is like, maybe I can miss one day, maybe I can miss two days, but on the third day I have to go to extraordinary lengths to do it. And so a lot of times you're like, well, I missed a day, but now I want to get right back into it because If I miss two in a row, then it's going to be a big, big hassle. And also to remind yourself that what we do most days or every day matters more than what we do once in a while. And this works and it works against you. So it's like if you go for an eight mile run once a month, that's not as good as a two mile run every day. But also if most days you're going for a two mile run on the day that you break the chain, that's okay because you're doing it most days.
- [30:53]
Gretchen Rubin
So yeah, I went through this Gretchen, recently because when I had to evacuate for a week during the Los Angeles fires, I didn't go to Orange Theory. You know, I. My thing is to do orange theory 100 times in 2025, which means going twice a all year. And I could have gone. I mean, I was near an Orange Theory, but I just couldn't cope with going. It was just too much. And I had the thought of, okay, there's a version of this where I just don't go to Orange Theory anymore, where I'm done with it. I said, I cannot let that happen. So I picked a day and I said, on this day I'm going back. And I went back that day and since then I'm back to going twice a week. But it was like I had to make that decision not to let it happen.
- [31:40]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, that is key because it's one thing to have it broken, but it's another thing to be like, well, now that it's broken, it's ruined. It's not ruined, right? It is not ruined. You can go right back and pick it up and yeah, that's a very, very important reminder. Brianna asks, I want to tackle my photo albums this year. You've mentioned you have used Shutterfly in the past. Do you still use this online service for your photos? And if you do, what option do you use? Just looking for tips as I am feeding Feeling the overwhelm. Okay, so this is so common that people feel overwhelmed by digital photos, right? Because we have so many photos and they're so precious. So this is what I do. And it is the simplest way. It's the way I've always done it. And I do it as fast as possible because otherwise I won't get it done. I use Shutterfly. So on my phone I have the app and I upload the photos into Shutterfly. And then from my desktop I go through and make photo albums and I make physical photo albums and I use the feature where it's like auto fill, and then you can go through the pages. If there's one you don't like, you can take it out. Or if there's two pictures you want to have together, you can kind of move them around. If there's a giant image and you want it to be smaller, you can change the size so you can tinker with it, but it basically auto fills for you. And I don't add captions. I had a title on the COVID but I don't add captions. I just do this as fast as I can. I tend to do it at the end of the year when I'm doing my 24 for 24 list. I'm like, oh, my gosh, it's almost the end of 2024. I have to catch up. So I'm doing a bunch at once. Then they come, and then I take a Sharpie and I go through and I write captions. So I'll be like, this is the name of the hotel, or notice that Barnaby is with his favorite toy or whatever, whatever captions, just to help bring back the moment. And then if I can, I also get Eliza and Eleanor to add their own captions, because they'll have their own take and their own information. And it's fun to see things in different people's handwriting. This is very messy, but this is how I do it, and this is what gets done. So for me, this is don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I could imagine myself doing a beautiful, elegant, really thoughtful photo album, and I just wouldn't do it. So I do this in the quickest way because, like, I'm writing captions while I'm watching reruns of the Office or something like that, because it's very tiresome to sit at the computer and, like, fiddle with it, I find. So this is a way that, like, I can be just stretched out on the sofa watching the office as I'm writing my captions, and just that's how I do it. And there's many, many ways to do this, but that's how I do it.
- [34:08]
Gretchen Rubin
And I think ultimately you'd rather see Eliza's handwritten note as opposed to a nice, clean typeset.
- [34:16]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, yes, exactly.
- [34:18]
Gretchen Rubin
Jamie said, I am trying to retain information I have read in books and organize it. Can you give me some helpful tips and hints from your own experience of reading and researching? How do you document things you have read, and how do you find that information later? Well, Gretch, I feel like this has Been something you've been working on since you were seven?
- [34:38]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. I used to do handwritten notes, but now I do it in the computer because my handwriting is so bad that I try to type everything. And this is a big part of my process, which is I'll read books, mark them up or dog ear them, or use sticky tabs as I'm reading. And then I go back and process the notes. So I have these giant documents that are all notes, and that's how I do it. And then I often have documents for, like, books that I want to read or books that I want to write. I've got a whole strange process, but it is a big part of my day. It's kind of one of my favorite things that I do. But, Elizabeth, you have a new tool that you and Sarah have been talking about for sort of tracking ideas and research, and I'm very intrigued by this. I haven't tried it myself, but I know you guys are having a lot of fun with it.
- [35:24]
Gretchen Rubin
Oh, the Muse app. We've been using the Muse app, which is something Sarah found or someone told her about. And it is a way of organizing your thoughts that we find very useful. So we have part of it for our Happier in Hollywood podcast, where we're keeping track of, you know, our segment ideas. And then for our sub stack, which we now have a substack.
- [35:47]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah.
- [35:48]
Gretchen Rubin
We are tracking it there both. We have like, a section for ideas, and then we have like, a section for how we want to promote it and a section for, you know, how we want to look toward the future. And it's been really helpful for us because it's easy to access visually. You can see the information and we can share it, which for us is key.
- [36:10]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, See, for my stuff, it's all just in word. It's not even like in a Google Doc. So it's all private to me, which is fine because nobody else would even be able to make sense of it because it's all just so idiosyncratic to the way my mind works. But you're collaborating all the time with all the things you do. So you need something where it's easy to use and it's easy to share.
- [36:30]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. So I would take a look at that. Jamie, you might find it useful. And finally, Julie says, Liz, did you ever finish the Barbra Streisand memoir? I love celebrity autobiographies on Audible. And Babs is fascinating, but 48 hours seemed like overkill. Gretchen, I never expect to hear it on the podcast, but I've always wondered if you use curse words in your regular life. I love a well placed swear, but I feel like maybe that's not your jam. If I'm wrong, will you humor me and tell us your favorite word? Well, on the Barbra Streisand memoir front, Gretchen, I listened to the first 24 hours.
- [37:08]
Elizabeth Craft
Wow.
- [37:08]
Gretchen Rubin
And I'm taking a break. Okay. Yes, it's a long break. It's been a few months now. But I do fully intend to go back and finish the second 24 hours. It was very interesting. I mean, she, she's so smart. She really goes into details that I happen to find really fascinating because a lot of it's about, you know, movie making in Hollywood. But it is a lot. 48 hours is a lot. Although now I'm listening to War and Peace, which is like 60 hours. So, you know.
- [37:37]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, but that you're listening to a little bit at a time. Whereas that's like a lot of Barbra Streisand just in one big download. Yes.
- [37:44]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. Okay, Gretchen, I want to hear your answer to the swear question.
- [37:50]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, Elizabeth, you know, I do swear in regular life. I do swear.
- [37:53]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes, you do.
- [37:54]
Elizabeth Craft
I do swear. I wouldn't say that I do not curse like a sailor, but I will, I will drop the usual here and there.
- [38:00]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes, you swear at a times.
- [38:03]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, I swear judiciously.
- [38:05]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [38:05]
Elizabeth Craft
But this was so fun. But we have so many questions that we're going to do a part two next week because there were just so many questions that we couldn't get to that we thought were really interesting. I learned a lot about you myself.
- [38:18]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes, we always learn more about each other. We think we know everything. And then there's more.
- [38:23]
Elizabeth Craft
Then there's more. I did not know when you came to your love of tuna fish salad. So there we go. So we hope you enjoyed this. Ask us anything. You can follow us on social media. You can email us@podcastretchenrubin.com or as always, you can go to the show notes. This is happiercast.com520 for everything related to this episode and the resource for this week. I already mentioned it. It was so nice that a listener asked if you want to sign up to be a super fan, which I very much appreciate. I love the and enthusiasm of the superfans. You can go to happiercast.com superfan and finally, what are we reading? Elizabeth, what are you reading?
- [38:58]
Gretchen Rubin
I am reading Colored Television by Danzi Senna.
- [39:02]
Elizabeth Craft
And I am reading A Stitch in Time by Penelope Lively. And that's it for this episode of Happier. We hope you enjoyed this. Ask us anything. There will be more next week.
- [39:15]
Gretchen Rubin
Thank you. To check Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada.
- [39:18]
Elizabeth Craft
And here's your rhyming reminder, fan of the podcast. Review it fast. Those reviews really make a difference because people really look at the reviews.
- [39:28]
Gretchen Rubin
Until next week. I'm Elizabeth Craft.
- [39:30]
Elizabeth Craft
And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward, Elizabeth. The thing that's funny to me is I feel like I know you so well. I'm like, what possibly could there be more to know? And yet we answer these questions. I read your substack. I listen to the Happier in Hollywood podcast. I'm like, she has having all these adventures that I don't know about. It's funny to me. I'm like, what are you doing with your time?
- [40:05]
Gretchen Rubin
I know. I tell you, that's how I always feel when I read your newsletter. Like, I'm like, she did this and this and this. Well, I didn't hear about that.
- [40:12]
Elizabeth Craft
I know. Oh, it's funny. From the onward project.