Happier with Gretchen Rubin: Episode 521 – Very Special Episode! Ask Us Anything, Part II
Release Date: February 12, 2025
In this engaging and insightful continuation of the "Ask Us Anything" series, Gretchen Rubin and her co-host, her sister Elizabeth Craft, delve deeper into listener questions, offering personal anecdotes, expert advice, and heartfelt discussions. This episode, steered by curiosity and sisterly camaraderie, provides listeners with a rich tapestry of topics ranging from personal habits and happiness strategies to creative endeavors and family life.
1. Introduction and Overview
Gretchen Rubin opens the episode by welcoming listeners to the second part of the "Ask Us Anything" series. Joined by Elizabeth Craft from Los Angeles, the sisters set the stage for a candid and comprehensive exploration of listener-submitted questions spanning various aspects of life and personal development.
Notable Quote:
Gretchen Rubin [01:09]: “Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about ideas and strategies for making our lives happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative.”
2. "Use It or Lose It": Embracing Practical Life Lessons
Elizabeth shares a poignant update from a listener, Nicholas, illustrating the principle of "use it or lose it" beyond personal habits and into the realm of possessions. She recounts attempts to utilize old items like a card magic map and special occasion shoes, only to find them deteriorated from disuse. This emphasizes the futility of hoarding items that never fulfill their intended purpose.
Notable Quotes:
Elizabeth Craft [02:00]: “...when we save things for a rainy day, either the rainy day never comes or when it finally does come, we either forget we have the item already, or worse, the item has deteriorated and is no longer usable.”
Gretchen Rubin [03:22]: “By saving things, we're actually wasting them. Often we're not preserving them, we're just squandering them.”
3. Living in New York City vs. Los Angeles: Personal Experiences
The conversation shifts to the sisters' personal journeys from their Kansas City roots to bustling metropolises like New York City and Los Angeles. Elizabeth discusses her transition to LA to pursue a career in TV writing, contrasting it with Gretchen’s preference for New York’s vibrant energy.
Notable Quotes:
Elizabeth Craft [04:00]: “...if you want to be a TV writer, at least then you had to be in Los Angeles.”
Gretchen Rubin [06:50]: “I love New York City's energy. I kind of can't imagine living in Los Angeles.”
4. Personality and City Synergy: NYC vs. LA
Exploring the distinct energies of New York and Los Angeles, Gretchen and Elizabeth reflect on how their personalities align with these cities. They discuss the perceived rivalry between the two locales, highlighting New York’s relentless pace against LA’s ambitious and often aggressive atmosphere.
Notable Quotes:
Elizabeth Craft [07:12]: “To me, my LA is not laid back. Although it does close earlier. Absolutely.”
Gretchen Rubin [07:08]: “I think you could picture you living in New York. Could you ever live in the other city?”
5. Raising a Family in New York City
Addressing the challenges and rewards of parenthood in a major city, Gretchen shares her positive experiences raising her daughters in New York. She touches on the safety, diverse environment, and the unique urban landscape that, despite being cramped, provides a stimulating upbringing.
Notable Quotes:
Gretchen Rubin [07:45]: “I experienced a very safe and very positive place to bring up children, for sure.”
6. Focusing on Personal Happiness Amidst Global Challenges
One of the most profound segments addresses the importance of prioritizing personal happiness even when facing widespread adversity. Gretchen underscores that happier individuals are more inclined to contribute positively to society, engage in problem-solving, and support others.
Notable Quotes:
Gretchen Rubin [09:00]: “Happier people are more likely to help, they're more likely to vote, they have healthier habits, they're better team members and better leaders.”
Gretchen Rubin [09:00]: “It's selfish for me to work on my own happiness. Well, you should be selfish, if only for selfless reasons.”
She advises maintaining physical well-being and taking actionable steps to combat feelings of helplessness, fostering both personal resilience and societal contribution.
7. Selecting and Reviewing Books: Diverse Tastes and Strategies
The sisters delve into their reading habits, discussing how they choose books and the methodologies behind reviewing them. Gretchen reveals her eclectic taste, spanning from literary fiction to children’s literature, while Elizabeth emphasizes reading widely popular or recommended books to stay aligned with current trends.
Notable Quotes:
Gretchen Rubin [11:03]: “I have very wide-ranging tastes, so I just read what I feel like. But I like everything except mysteries, thrillers, cookbooks and horror.”
Elizabeth Craft [12:12]: “I like to read the books that everybody's reading. You do the Women by Kristin Hannah.”
Gretchen shares her struggle with reviewing books she isn’t inherently interested in, highlighting her shift from daily to weekend reviews to manage her reading backlog effectively.
8. Family Planning: The Six-Year Gap Between Daughters
Responding to Linda’s inquiry, Gretchen discusses the intentional planning behind the six-year age gap between her daughters. This decision was influenced by her husband Jamie’s health concerns, particularly his battle with hepatitis C, which necessitated a cautious approach to expanding their family.
Notable Quotes:
Gretchen Rubin [20:01]: “Jamie and I had planned on a longer gap... we were very, very worried about his liver.”
Gretchen Rubin [20:55]: “I think there's, I'm a fan of the Big Gap people for whom it works. It works.”
9. Reality TV Preferences and Family Viewing Habits
Elizabeth shares her avid interest in reality TV, contrasting with some family members' viewing habits. She explains her preference for shows like "Housewives" and "Survivor," and how she balances solo and family viewing experiences.
Notable Quotes:
Elizabeth Craft [21:16]: “Most of it's solo, because I do love reality TV more than my family. So alone, I do all the Housewives and the Bachelor...”
10. Community Resilience: Addressing Local Fires in LA
In light of recent wildfires, Elizabeth provides an update on her local community's safety and the broader impact on Los Angeles. She expresses gratitude towards those fighting the fires and recommends supporting relief efforts through organizations like the Red Cross.
Notable Quotes:
Elizabeth Craft [21:43]: “...if you want to help out, you can always give to the Red Cross, because then you know that your money is going to a good cause.”
11. Creative Pursuits Beyond Writing
When asked about creative outlets apart from writing, Elizabeth candidly shares that her main engagement is through her sticker collection and tablescapes. She acknowledges the importance of visual creativity in organizing and personal expression, albeit in simpler forms.
Notable Quotes:
Elizabeth Craft [22:28]: “I mean, unless you call my sticker collection some sort of visual art. I would say absolutely not.”
Elizabeth Craft [22:46]: “...they're pretty simple, but. Okay, we'll take it.”
12. Pet Ownership: Considering a Second Dog
Addressing a question from Jay, Gretchen discusses the inspiration behind possibly adding a second dog to her family. Observing the positive impact Elizabeth’s two dogs have had on her happiness motivated Gretchen to contemplate expanding their pet family.
Notable Quotes:
Gretchen Rubin [23:02]: “I was so astonished that Alyssa's got two dogs that I was like, wow, maybe I could have two dogs because, you know, we're both so unlikely.”
13. Reflections on Unmade Opportunities: The Happiness Project Show
Danny inquires about the near-miss opportunity of turning "The Happiness Project" into a TV show starring Kristin Davis. Gretchen reflects on the potential changes such an opportunity could have brought, ultimately expressing a sense of acceptance for the path not taken.
Notable Quotes:
Gretchen Rubin [23:59]: “I never trusted it because I know from you how hard it is and how unlikely it is to get a show on the air.”
14. Selecting Locations for Book Tours
Vanessa asks about the criteria for selecting book tour locations, including Boston. Gretchen explains that the process involves collaboration with publishers and bookstores, favoring both familiar cities like her hometown Kansas City and new, enthusiastic venues.
Notable Quotes:
Gretchen Rubin [37:46]: “We usually try to go to Kansas City just because I love my hometown and so really want to go there.”
15. Engaging in Mahjong: Games and Groups
Elizabeth responds to a question about her Mahjong practices, detailing her involvement with both American and Chinese Mahjong. She emphasizes the importance of tools like the Real Mahjong app and the challenges of maintaining committed playing groups in Los Angeles.
Notable Quotes:
Elizabeth Craft [38:52]: “I play both American Mahjong and Chinese Mahjong. American has a card and Chinese does not to practice.”
Elizabeth Craft [39:59]: “I have to find people. I actually, what I'd love to do is get a Mahjong teacher to come in if I had a group that was new and really committed.”
16. Clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor: An Anecdote
Danny poses a question about Gretchen's decision to clerk for Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Gretchen recounts a humorous yet insightful story about a misdelivered offer letter, highlighting Justice O'Connor's hands-on approach and the importance of responsiveness.
Notable Quotes:
Gretchen Rubin [40:08]: “She would ask you that, did you apply to all the justices or Justice Some. So I just think that's interesting.”
Gretchen Rubin [41:08]: “...she was like, Gretchen, why didn't you answer my letter? Because of course she knew that I would.”
17. Resources: Finding Your Next Novel
Wrapping up the content-focused segment, Gretchen introduces a new quiz designed to help listeners discover their next favorite book. Partnering with bookshop.org, the quiz tailors recommendations based on personal preferences, with an opportunity to win a $25 credit by sharing results on social media.
Notable Quotes:
Gretchen Rubin [41:44]: “It's helping you to find that next novel that's exactly what you're looking for.”
18. Current Reads: Personal Recommendations
The episode concludes with the sisters sharing their current reading choices, offering listeners personal touchpoints and potential new book discoveries.
Notable Quotes:
Elizabeth Craft [42:54]: “Fruit of the Dead by Rachel Lyon.”
Gretchen Rubin [42:56]: “And I'm just about to start the Many Lives of Anne Frank by Ruth Franklin.”
Conclusion
In this episode of "Happier with Gretchen Rubin," listeners are treated to a blend of personal stories, practical advice, and thoughtful reflections. From managing possessions and fostering happiness to navigating family dynamics and creative pursuits, Gretchen and Elizabeth provide a multifaceted exploration of what it means to lead a fulfilling life. Their authentic dialogue and willingness to share vulnerabilities make this episode a valuable resource for anyone seeking to enhance their well-being and embrace life's complexities with grace and intention.
Final Notable Quote:
Elizabeth Craft [43:12]: “Until next week. I'm Elizabeth Craft.”
Gretchen Rubin [43:24]: “And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.”
Produced by The Onward Project and Lemonada Media.