← Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Ep. 531: Arrive Right on Time, Benefits of Pill Organizers & the Strongest Way to Make Friends
00:27:53
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- [00:00]
Elizabeth Craft
At Great Wolf Lodge, you can take your whole family on an unforgettable adventure. It's a world of fun all under one roof. I happen to love water slides, and there are so many water slides and other amazing water attractions at Great Wolf Lodge.
- [00:17]
Gretchen Rubin
And best of all, it's just a short drive away. So bring your pack together and wolf out. Learn more@greatwolf.com greatwolf.com book now and strengthen your pack at Great Wolf Lodge.
- [00:33]
Elizabeth Craft
If you're in healthcare, you've probably heard of figs. And if you haven't tried them yet, let us just say, total game changer. These scrubs are made specifically for awesome humans, designed to handle long shifts, constant movement, and everything the job throws at you, all so you can perform at your best. Gretch, you know, I have a bunch of friends who are doctors and they all love figs. They say once you wear figs, there is no going back.
- [01:03]
Gretchen Rubin
Figs have a modern, tailored fit. These aren't your boxy, one size fits all scrubs. They're designed with precision and come in flattering styles and colors with smart pockets, secure zippers, and thoughtful details so you can perform your best. So wherever you wear figs, in the er, on rounds at the clinic, or even just running errands after a shift, make it count. Go to WearFigs.com and use the code FIGSRX to get 15% off your first order. That's WearFigs.com code FIGSRX for 15% off your first order. FIGS. Where do you wear figs?
- [01:40]
Elizabeth Craft
Lemonada.
- [01:55]
Gretchen Rubin
Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about ways to become happier. This week, we'll talk about why it can be a good idea to show up right on time for an event. And we'll share a hack that my husband Jamie recently adopted that makes everyday life much easier. I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, secrets of adulthood, human nature. I am back in my little home office in New York City after my whirlwind adventures on my book tour. And joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, seeing you in Los Angeles was one of the highlights of my trip.
- [02:32]
Elizabeth Craft
That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in la. And yes, Gretch, I have to mention, your book hit the New York Times bestseller list.
- [02:41]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah.
- [02:42]
Elizabeth Craft
Which happened the day you were in la. So that was super fun. So congratulations.
- [02:47]
Gretchen Rubin
That was super, super fun. So thank you to all listeners and readers who bought the book and pre ordered the book. I met Many people who had pre order which I very much appreciate it. In other exciting news, the puppy, Taffy. We are going to do a whole more happier about that. So stay tuned. We're just not even going to get into it today. It's all just happening and there's no perspective. So stay tuned for more on the puppy front.
- [03:12]
Elizabeth Craft
I cannot wait to meet Taffy in person.
- [03:15]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. But before we launch in, a listener sent a couple great secrets of adulthood and I am very sorry I deleted your name. So listener, you get triple gold stars for seven these thoughtful secrets of adulthood. And I very, very much apologize. Somehow when I copied it, I lost your name. So I'm very sorry about that.
- [03:35]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. But she says when my son was newborn, until about 10 months old, he used to only sleep in his car seat. We would bring his seat into his room and put it in his crib with him strapped into it. I was so distraught over this and I thought I was a terrible mom. But then something therapy helped me get a little perspective and I said to myself, he won't take his car seat to kindergarten. And that's been a refrain throughout my kids childhood. Whenever I was unable to see past the moment of stress or what they were doing seemed like they would never grow out of it, I'd remind myself, he won't take his car seat to kindergarten. Maybe this phase was necessary now, but it would change in the future. Here's another one. My husband is looking for a job now and sometimes he psychs himself out and won't take the steps to go through the process. You need to apply, interview and get a job offer before you can make any decision about your future. So I always say there's no decision to make until you get an offer, meaning don't plan your life around what may or may not happen. There's no decision until the offer is made.
- [04:45]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, I think these are both great secrets of adulthood for many people in many different situations. Very, very helpful.
- [04:52]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, really good. Reminds me Gretch, though, if you could say mom could have said, well, Elizabeth won't take her blankie to college. But then I did that.
- [05:00]
Gretchen Rubin
Then you did. That's true. Well, the opposite of a profound truth is also true. And speaking of secrets of adulthood, Mother's Day is coming up on May 11th here in the United States and many people have been telling me that they are giving secrets of Adulthood as a gift. I ran into many people who were giving Secrets of Adulthood as a gift on my tour. And so if you want to get a copy for Your mother or a mother in your life. If you go to happiercast.com secrets, you can personalize the book with a signed book plate, which you can request on that page, or you can just order the book there. So that can be a fun Mother's Day gift.
- [05:36]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, great gift.
- [05:38]
Gretchen Rubin
And this week's try this at home suggestion is to show up right on time for an event.
- [05:45]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. I think this is a great idea.
- [05:47]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, Elizabeth, it was you who surfaced this idea again. We talked about it a long, long time ago, but you and Sarah were talking about it in Happier in Hollywood when you were talking about networking and why showing up right on time had worked out really well for you. Networking is something that a lot of us recognize as valuable but maybe struggle to do. And I thought this was such a helpful way to think about it.
- [06:11]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. I was at a networking event and someone said, will you please on your podcast, talk about networking for introverts? So Sarah and I did a whole discussion about it. But Gretchen, I actually used this myself. Let's try this at home so I can speak to its effectiveness. When I went to another networking event, you know, Sarah and I have a Substack newsletter, which of course we'd love everyone to sign up for. It's free. Go to happierinhollywood.com and scroll down to sign up. But anyway, you know, I have to say that every time I mentioned.
- [06:44]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes, of course, naturally.
- [06:45]
Elizabeth Craft
So Substack was holding a networking party. The actual people of Substack and Sarah couldn't go, but I really thought I should be there. But of course, I wasn't going to know a soul. So what I did is I got there exactly at the start time. So it started at 7. I got there at 7pm and what was great is that of course, I was one of the very first, if not the first person there. So the hosts were all there ready to talk to me. So I went in, I met all of the people of Substack, had lovely conversations, and then when other people would come in, they would go, oh, this is Liz. She has a substack. So when you're there right on time, well, one parking is a lot easier.
- [07:31]
Gretchen Rubin
Oh, that's a good point.
- [07:32]
Elizabeth Craft
But also the hosts will talk to you. Especially if it's a networking event and you really are having a goal in mind of connecting with people, it's easier to connect. And then because there aren't all these people, you don't have to shove your way in. They're happy to come talk to you.
- [07:49]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, and then you even know who they are, because sometimes people aren't wearing name tags or you don't know what name to look for. And so the fact that five people are already there standing around looking expectant, you might be like, okay, let me go to them. But if the room is half full of people, then you might not be able to even figure out who that person is.
- [08:06]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, exactly.
- [08:08]
Gretchen Rubin
Well. And then this is networking in a professional setting. But our father made this point more a social occasion. Let's say you're going to a party and it's really important to you to connect with your host for whatever reason. Maybe it's a really important gathering or they're getting married or something where you really do want to have time to have a significant exchange or moment of connection with your host. If you go earlier, then they're not so distracted and you can have that moment of connection. Whereas if you go at the height of the party, you talk to them for one second and then they're immediately pulled away, or you don't feel like you can monopolize them for even 10 minutes. And then also, he pointed out, if you don't think you want to stay very long, if you go right at the beginning, they see you, they talk to you, and then you can slip away. Whereas if you go later, you might feel like you need to hang around longer in order for them to register your presence.
- [09:01]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. And Susan Cain talks about this being good for introverts. We talked about this.
- [09:07]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. Way Back in episode 107, we interviewed Susan Cain, who wrote the book the Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. And Elizabeth, it was a long time ago, but as I recall, she made the point that let's say you have an introverted child and let's say they have to do something like go to a swimming lesson. Now, my instinct was, okay, let's wait until the very last minute because your introverted child, who might be anxious at this occasion, go show up. And then the class starts. And so there's not that awkward time before. But what Susan said is, no, actually go earlier because then it's quieter. Your child is entering a much quieter environment, isn't overwhelmed with personalities and noise. They can probably connect easily with the teacher, which, again, that's a way to connect and feel settled. And then as more people come in, the child is situated and can take in that gradually. And I think this is just as good advice for adults as well. And what was striking to me, because it was exactly the opposite of my instinct.
- [10:13]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. No. And I think that's what's so interesting about this. Try this at home, is that it does go against what you might think, which is, okay, if I'm shy about going to a party, let me get there when everyone's already there and I can just blend in. But actually, then it's harder to get into conversations.
- [10:31]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. It's even harder just to hear people.
- [10:34]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, yes. I mean, my biggest problem with events, Gretchen, is my voice. I start getting a sore throat when I'm, like, having to scream at these events. And that's kind of when I leave. When my voice really starts hurting, I'm like, okay, I'm out. I'm going now.
- [10:49]
Gretchen Rubin
We should note that, like, of course, with certain kinds of social events or certain types of things, you don't want to show up right on time. In fact, it might almost seem as rude to show up exactly on time. Jamie and I struggle with this. We always say that we're, like the super prompt. We have to. Sometimes I'll say to him, like, we need to walk around the block a few times. We can't show up at 7:01 for this kind of thing. But we're talking about a different kind of occasion.
- [11:12]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. We're talking about a time when it makes sense to show up on time.
- [11:17]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay, so, Elizabeth, here's my question for you. Let's say you walk in at whatever time and you don't see anybody that you know. If you see somebody else at loose end standing there or whatever, will you go up and start talking to them?
- [11:30]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, I will. I mean, I'll be happy to see somebody looking around like that. In fact, at the substack party I went to, when it got a little bit later into the party and my immediate strategy had played itself out, I did that.
- [11:45]
Gretchen Rubin
And it worked out.
- [11:46]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, it worked out well, first of.
- [11:48]
Gretchen Rubin
All, it seems awkward, but people are always super relieved when you do that, so it always works out.
- [11:52]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [11:52]
Gretchen Rubin
But this is reminding me of Elizabeth way, way, way back in. Happier in Hollywood. Didn't you and Sarah challenge yourself to always stay 10 minutes later than you want?
- [12:00]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, we did.
- [12:01]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. Cause it's like, maybe something else will happen. I thought that was a good idea.
- [12:05]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. And in fact, when we did that, I said to Sarah, let's just stay 10 more minutes, and then we'll go. And we ended up running into Channing Dungy, who's one of our favorite powerful executives in Hollywood, and we asked her to come on our podcast, and she said yes. So that's what prompted us to say, stay 10 more minutes.
- [12:26]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, the thing is, you can feel very self conscious and very awkward, but the fact is nobody's really paying attention to you. And so even if you're standing around awkwardly, nobody thinks anything of it. It's not a big deal. Oh, but here's a hack. This is something that I've been trying to do lately, which I feel like it makes me feel very gracious, and it seems to work really well. And so this is for the situation where, okay, you're having a conversation with somebody or a couple people, it's all going very well, and somebody kind of sidles up. Maybe they half know one of the people who's speaking, or maybe they just catch the drift of your conversation and feels like something they could leap in, but they're just trying to join as someone who's outside the conversation. This is not like, oh, here's our somebody we know well and who is trying to, like, make their way. What I will do now is I will say to them something like, oh, we're talking about how hard it is to network at an event. Or, you know, we're talking about and tell them the subject. Because then they're like, first of all, it's a way to make them feel like, oh, we welcome you to our conversation. We want you to get caught up and know what we're talking about. Then they don't feel like they're just standing there trying to figure out what's going on and catch the drift. They feel like, oh, okay, and everybody feels good. Everybody feels good when everybody feels good. Everybody feels warm when everybody feels that they're welcome to a conversation. And I feel like that's a way that you can much more easily integrate new people into a conversation when everybody's kind of unfamiliar with each other.
- [13:55]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, I do the exact same thing, Gretchen. I find it's very helpful and I appreciate it when someone does that for me.
- [14:02]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. That's how I learned to do it. Somebody did it. And I was like, oh, my gosh, that was so hospitable.
- [14:10]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, Gretch. I also wanted to mention if people want more tips about what to do when you're uncomfortable at a networking event. Sarah and I talked about this in episode 413 of happening in Hollywood.
- [14:22]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay, good, good, good. Well, that'll be in the show notes. Well, let us know if you do try this at home and how arriving right on time for an event works for you. Let us know on Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook, drop us an email@podcastretchenruben.com or as always, you can go to the show notes. This is happiercast.com531 coming up, we've got.
- [14:41]
Elizabeth Craft
A very practical happiness hack. But first, this break Foreign.
- [14:54]
Gretchen Rubin
This podcast. We talk a lot about how we can make our lives happier, but we can't pursue our happiest lives if we're struggling with our relationship with food or with our body. Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses and they can affect people of any age, gender or body size. They have a serious negative impact on physical and mental health. Eating disorders can show up in a lot of different ways. It might look like restrictive eating, compulsive exercise, or feeling out of control when you eat.
- [15:23]
Elizabeth Craft
If you're concerned about your eating habits or worried about a loved one, we want to introduce you to Equip. Equip is a fully virtual evidence based eating disorder program that helps patients achieve lasting recovery at home. Each patient is matched with a multidisciplinary care team and gets a personalized treatment plan that helps them beat the eating disorder. If you think that you or a loved one could be struggling with an eating disorder, don't wait to get help. Visit Equip Health Happier to learn more. That's Equip Health Happier. This episode of Happier with Gretchen Rubin is brought to you by Alloy Women's Health. Aging can be tough. You can have problems sleeping, hot flashes, brain fog, weight gain and decreased libido can hit you hard. I know so many people Gretchen, talking about menopause. It is inevitable for all women and I just found out that almost half of women went three plus years before seeking relief from menopause or perimenopausal symptoms. Don't do that to yourself.
- [16:31]
Gretchen Rubin
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- [17:04]
Elizabeth Craft
Okay Gretch, we are back with a happiness hack. This is one that I love.
- [17:09]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah, so this is one that might seem incre obvious to some people, but other people may not be thinking of this or may not even really know that this exists. And this is A weekly pill case. And I thought of this hack because I have a weekly pill case. And a weekly pill case is typically. It's like a long, rectangular pill case, or maybe it's more of a square, and it has lids that pop up and it's labeled for the days of the week. And the idea is if you take daily medication, instead of trying to remember, like, oh, did I take that or not? You fill it in for the day, and that way you just open the lid, you take the pill, and you know whether or not you've taken it. And then at the end of the week, you fill it up again. And that just lowers the decision, fatigue and the need to remember. I have one of these because I travel with it, because I have pain reliever, allergy medication, whatever pills that I need, so that I have just sort of like an overnight supply, Pepto Bismol, that kind of thing. Just so that I'm not having like seven bottles of various over the counter medications rattling around. And so it's often out on the counter when I'm traveling because I'll get it out. Sure. That all of the containers are filled up with whatever needs to be there. And Jamie was sort of like, ooh, I didn't know. I forgot about these things. And he got one and now he uses it, and he thinks that it's super, super helpful.
- [18:31]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, Gretch, I've been using one of these for years because, you know, I do take a lot of medications because of my type 1 diabetes. I think I take seven different pills every day. Every day. So. And what I finally did, which changed my life, was I got two pill cases. So now I fill up two weeks at a time, which is so much easier because it is a hassle. So for those of us who really are reliant on just taking a lot of pills, I think it is so helpful.
- [19:00]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. And there's a bazillion kinds of these, and you can get them bigger or smaller, depending on how many pills you have to put in it and what kind of shape you want. But it's the kind of thing that some people just aren't even aware of them, I think, and they can be really, really helpful.
- [19:13]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. And I mean, I gave Jack one, you know, for traveling, which he also finds very helpful.
- [19:19]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. And now for a Secret of Adulthood. Yes, they are in the book Secrets of Adulthood, but they're also coming out in the podcast.
- [19:29]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. I love this new segment, Gretch.
- [19:31]
Gretchen Rubin
So the Secrets of Adulthood to contemplate today is one of the best ways to find friends is to make friends with the friends of our friends.
- [19:42]
Elizabeth Craft
Very true.
- [19:43]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. Now you may think, isn't there a more elegant way to say that? And I will say, not that I could think of. And I have been trying for years because this is something that I think is really, really important. And I recently read research, even more research that supports this. So, you know, we often talk about the fact that relationships are essential to happiness. If you had to pick one thing to be the key to a happy, it would be strong bonds with other people. And friendship is such an important kind of relationship in our life. And what studies show is that quantity matters, like how many friends you have. That does matter. Quality matters, meaning how much do you get support or perceive support from a relationship, whether that's emotional or social or financial? And it's also the fact that the structure of the social relationships matter. And the fact is with structure, the density matters. Matters the level of interconnectedness among the people. So what this means is like imagine a person who has a lot of friends, but they're all just one off. Like this one's from college and this one's from work and this one's from the neighborhood and this is from my old job and this one is from the yoga studio. It works better when it's denser, when the people all know each other and are related to each other. When people are in dense social networks, they tend to feel less lonely, they tend to be happier. And the thinking is, is that dense connections give us a greater sense of security and belonging. There's kind a more of a feeling of stability when there's that density to it.
- [21:15]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, I think it feels more like a community.
- [21:17]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [21:18]
Elizabeth Craft
Whereas one friend in one place isn't necessarily a community.
- [21:22]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [21:23]
Elizabeth Craft
But five friends becomes a community, or three even.
- [21:26]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. Well, and this is why I'm such a huge fan of groups.
- [21:29]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [21:29]
Gretchen Rubin
Because with a group, if you start a group, you start a book club or something, it's like, I invite a couple friends, you invite a couple friends. Now I become friends with your friends, you become friends with my friends, all the friends become friends with each other. And now we have a dense social group. And it's also just much easier to handle, like the scheduling and everything, because, okay, I missed this week or this month, but then I'll come next month. It's easier to manage. And it also gives you that density.
- [21:53]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, and I think a good thing about the group is, so say there's a friend of a friend who I really like But I feel like that friend is very much under the aegis of my original friend. But if we start a group suddenly, now I have my own connection to that person and I don't feel, oh, I can only text her if I also am texting the other.
- [22:14]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [22:14]
Elizabeth Craft
You see what I'm saying?
- [22:15]
Gretchen Rubin
Exactly.
- [22:16]
Elizabeth Craft
So it equalizes everybody.
- [22:18]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes, exactly. I think that's a really good point because sometimes people do feel territorial or they worry that other people feel territorial or whatever. But if you're just in a group, then it all gets connected up. And so I think, like, if you do have friends looking for a way to turn them into a group, even just a fleeting group, like, let's watch the season finale of the Real Housewives every. At the end of every season or whatever, it can be really fun and really helpful.
- [22:43]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. Love this.
- [22:44]
Gretchen Rubin
Like a pickup basketball game. Or I have some friends that are in a poker game. And it's evolved. People come in and people come out, but they all seem to have a special connection to each other just from ever having been in this evolving group.
- [22:57]
Elizabeth Craft
Absolutely. Okay, Gretch. Coming up, we've got a listener question about diabetes. One of my favorite subjects, Foreign we always on this podcast talk about the importance of getting good sleep. And part of good sleep is a great pillow. There are side sleepers, back sleepers, even starfishes. I'm a side sleeper and it really matters how your pillow fits with your head, whatever position you're in. Gretchen I got a pillow from Coop Sleep Goods that is so perfect for me. I went from using like two pillows together that were not quite right to using my one coop pillow, which is perfect. And it's for cool sleepers so I don't wake up all sweaty in the middle of the night. I love it.
- [23:53]
Gretchen Rubin
And also with Coop Sleep goods, you get 100 night free trial. 86% of sleepers reported better sleep after switching their pillows to Cooper. There are more than 100,000 five star reviews and over a million happy sleepers. Visit coopsleepgoods.com happier to get 20% off your first order. That's C O O P sleepgoods.com happier.
- [24:17]
Elizabeth Craft
Are you a trailblazer, A risk taker? Someone with countless tales of epic adventure? Well, I'm not quite there yet, but I'm working on it. Even the boldest among us started off small, daring themselves to reach greater goals each day. If you're looking to take on a challenge like that, the Defender is too. It's a vehicle built for drivers, capable of great things. Whether they're headed toward uncharted territory or just a weekend getaway, adventure seekers won't.
- [24:47]
Gretchen Rubin
Want to miss Destination Defender, an epic weekend festival designed for Defender owners and enthusiasts. Taking place In Port Jervis, New York from May 16 through 18, this unforgettable weekend includes inspiring talks, off road driving courses, chef tastings and live music. To learn more, please visit destinationdefenderusa.com Explore the full Defender lineup@landroverusa.com Now for a listener question. And Elizabeth, this is directed at you. Martha writes, I am newly diagnosed with diabetes. I want to know, Liz, how you advise your friends to support you without needing it to be all about your diabetes, where they eat, what to do for lows, the need for insulin, near meals, emotional support, carrying insulin, et cetera. So Elizabeth, I'm sure that many people are curious about that.
- [25:46]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. Well, you know, I am so dialed in now. I don't need a lot of support, but there are a few things. Sarah, for instance, is very tuned in and she knows if I say I need to eat something, she knows to like, get me some candy, get me a Coke. One thing Gretchen, you did that was really helpful was when we were in England together on our walking trip, I definitely was worried about having lows. That was a worry. Like normally I feel like I have everything under control, but because that was a different situation and we were gonna be out in the country, I was concerned.
- [26:24]
Gretchen Rubin
Pause for a minute. Maybe for people who don't really know, I think people think that what's dangerous is your blood sugar is high. Explain the difference between the danger of high and the danger of low.
- [26:33]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah. So the tricky thing about type 1 diabetes is it's not good to be too high or too low. And being too high is more of a long term problem that's going to give you heart disease, but a low. And that's when your blood sugar goes low because the problem is your insulin. You don't have insulin to regulate your blood sugar, so you can't regulate it high and you can't regulate it low is that you could literally pass out if it's too low, go into a coma and die. So it's sort of that dire. It's a very big deal.
- [27:06]
Gretchen Rubin
Is like a long term problem and one is an urgent problem.
- [27:09]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. And so a low means you need to as quickly as you can raise your blood sugar with sugar.
- [27:15]
Gretchen Rubin
And when we were hiking, that was a concern.
- [27:17]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, because hiking, obviously exercise lowers your blood sugar, but it never reacts the same way twice. So it's Always a mystery as to what's going to happen. So, Gretchen, you carried Starburst on you just so we would know. Now, I, of course, also had stuff, but just to know that we had a backup in case something happened and.
- [27:39]
Gretchen Rubin
That you also had them, because sometimes when people get really low blood sugar, they can get really disoriented. Yes, that can happen. And I knew from you that Starbursts are a good thing because they don't melt like chocolate. They're individually wrapped so they stay clean and nice. If you're carrying them around in your pockets, as I was for, like, you know, days and days, and they dissolve very quickly in the mouth, so the sugar gets into your bloodstream very quickly. So that was sort of like I asked you, should I have a bar? Or whatever? And you said, actually, if we really needed fast action, this would be a good thing to carry.
- [28:10]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, because also, they're like pure sugar, whereas, like, fat, it shouldn't.
- [28:15]
Gretchen Rubin
You have to digest it. Yeah, Gretchen.
- [28:17]
Elizabeth Craft
I mean, you know, like, all of my friends who I hike with, for instance, they know about this. So I may sometimes say, oh, hold on, I need to take a bite of a bar. I need to stop for a second. And everybody's very supportive. I'm very open with taking my insulin shots. I'll just take it right there at the dinner table. If I'm out with friends now, it can be awkward. I think for me, that's the hardest thing to sort of get over. And if I really don't know someone or in a business setting, I will try to excuse myself and go do it more discreetly. But I think in terms of your friends supporting you, I think it's just explaining to them kind of what we just explained so that they understand what's going on and hopefully you'll get a handle on this and not need a lot of support.
- [29:06]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, and I think, Elizabeth, that's kind of maybe the encouraging thing, which is at the beginning, it's so overwhelming. There's so much to learn, and like you say, it's not very predictable, so you just have to learn how to manage it. But for you, it's very seamless. And I know you say that you have friends that you've had for a long time where you've had meals with them, and they have no idea that you have diabetes and don't even realize that you've actually given yourself a shot at the table because we're just not paying that much attention to each other, and it becomes second nature. So it does get easier.
- [29:39]
Elizabeth Craft
It gets so much easier. So much easier. Just like anything, you incorporate it into your life, and then it's. I won't say seamless, because you always have to think about it, but it's not overwhelming.
- [29:51]
Gretchen Rubin
And the technology is so much better than when you were first diagnosed.
- [29:55]
Elizabeth Craft
Amazing, no? For me, the wireless glucose monitor changed my life. For some people, the pump absolutely changes their life. So embrace the technology, and you will get on top of this.
- [30:11]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, and here's a final question. For the people who are the friends of somebody, is there any advice you would say to them?
- [30:17]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, to the friends, I would just say, listen, if your friend needs to vent about how frustrating it is and just understand maybe the difference between highs and lows. People will think if you're low, you need insulin, but that is the last thing you need. If you're low, insulin lowers your blood sugar.
- [30:34]
Gretchen Rubin
But, I mean, you hear that, like on TV shows sometimes they think that insulin is the solution for the low blood sugar.
- [30:40]
Elizabeth Craft
No, that drives me nuts. Happens all the time.
- [30:43]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. Yeah. So good question, and good luck dealing with it. It's a lot to manage, but hang in there.
- [30:49]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [30:50]
Gretchen Rubin
And now it's time for demerits and gold stars. But this week, we are only talking about gold stars.
- [30:56]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. So, Gretch, this is a tough one. I'm not gonna use any names. Cause everybody's under 18 here. Recently, a classmate of Jack's died at 15. It's such a tragic loss. Not sure exactly what happened. Likely an undiagnosed heart condition. Something in that world. So it's so sad, obviously, beyond devastating. But I wanted to give a gold star, because I have just been witnessing the friends and teammates of this child stepping up and really honoring their friend and their teammate in such a beautiful way, an eloquent way. And I think, like, we don't think of teen boys as being able to express themselves in that way or being thoughtful. But these kids have really stepped up. And I think that as awful as this is, it's lovely to see sort of the beauty in these teen boys.
- [32:04]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah.
- [32:05]
Elizabeth Craft
So I just wanted to acknowledge that.
- [32:07]
Gretchen Rubin
To see them have the ability to take that on themselves and to express their sorrow and to pay tribute to this child that they knew.
- [32:18]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. Anyway. Sending love to all. And this obviously is a huge event. Just sending love to everybody.
- [32:27]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. Love to all of them. Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading? Reading.
- [32:31]
Elizabeth Craft
I am reading After I Do by Taylor Jenkins Reid.
- [32:35]
Gretchen Rubin
And I am reading the Accidental man by Iris Murdoch. And that's it. For this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Show up on time for an event. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
- [32:50]
Elizabeth Craft
Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada.
- [32:55]
Gretchen Rubin
And here's your rhyming reminder. If you enjoyed the podcast, tell your friends fast.
- [33:00]
Elizabeth Craft
Until next week. I'm Elizabeth Craft.
- [33:02]
Gretchen Rubin
And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.
- [33:18]
Elizabeth Craft
So, Gretchen, am I understanding that all of your flights were on time for your whole 10 day tour?
- [33:24]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes, and not only that, but I had my 10 cities in 10 days. But then I had my week week in Florida. Every flight was on time. I didn't know that such a thing was possible. It was extraordinary.
- [33:36]
Elizabeth Craft
Wow.
- [33:42]
Gretchen Rubin
From the onward project.