Ep. 552: Start Your 100-Day Countdown, Try Substack & the Power of Engaging

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Episode 552: Start Your 100-Day Countdown, Try Substack & the Power of Engaging

Date: September 17, 2025
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft

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Overview

In this episode, Gretchen and Elizabeth explore strategies for maximizing happiness and productivity in the final stretch of the year by launching the “100 Day Countdown.” They share personal updates from their “25 for 25” goals, introduce their next book club pick, discuss the value of creative engagement via platforms like Substack, and highlight the restorative power of community activity. Listener stories and feedback provide practical inspiration, rounding out an uplifting, actionable episode.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Book Club Announcement: Elizabeth Gilbert’s “All the Way to the River”

[01:56–05:15]

• Announcement: The next Happier Podcast Book Club pick is Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir All the Way to the River: Love, Loss and Liberation.
• Book Buzz: The memoir, already chosen by Oprah, explores themes of love, loss, addiction, recovery, and liberation. Both hosts found it “impossible to put down.”
  • “It is so compelling. And then you read it I think the next day. And we both have been talking about it ever since.” – Elizabeth, [03:13]
  • Listeners are invited to read along and submit questions for an upcoming interview with Elizabeth Gilbert.

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2. Podcast Mention in The New Yorker

[05:15–06:45]

• The hosts celebrate being favorably cited in Joshua Rothman’s New Yorker article on AI and culture:
  • “I rely on song exploder, lens work and happier with Gretchen Rubin. When I have more to do, I listen to Radiolab or the Ezra Klein or Tyler Cowen’s conversations with Tyler. I like the ideas, but also the company. Washing dishes is more fun with Gretchen and her screenwriter sister Elizabeth riding along.” – Joshua Rothman, quoted at [06:01]

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3. The Power of Learning from Regret

[06:45–07:44]

• Featured listener letter from Lily, recounted the power of acting on someone else’s regret by recording a video with her mother before she passed away—an act inspired by a friend's story.
  • “This is a beautiful example how one person’s expression of regret can really teach somebody in time to do something in a way that they’re really grateful for.” – Gretchen [07:38]

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4. Try This at Home: Start Your 100-Day Countdown

[07:45–15:46]

• Concept: From September 22nd, there are 100 days left in the year—a powerful milestone for reviewing and recommitting to personal goals.
  • “100 days is still a lot of time.” – Gretchen [08:33]
• Personal Examples:
  • Elizabeth aims to attend seven live events (including seeing Elizabeth Gilbert), try a new workout class, organize a photo shoot, and host a game night. Many are ‘one-off’ goals that remain pending.
    • “Sometimes it’s just as hard to get ourselves to do something that’s fun... as it is for something that we actually really do not want to do.” – Gretchen [10:08]
  • Gretchen plans to visit the Earth Room, watch iconic movies, clean up her photo library, and send watercolor postcards—a mix of enjoyable and daunting tasks.
  • Both hosts continue yearlong projects, like reading War and Peace and hitting fitness milestones.

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5. Happiness Hack: Try Substack

[18:18–22:18]

• Explanation: Substack is a platform for email newsletters, podcasts, and community posts—directly linking creators and readers.
  • “It’s kind of the evolution of blogging in a way. People often have sort of a free tier... and then a paid tier.” – Gretchen [19:57]
• Each host maintains a Substack (Happier in Hollywood and Secrets of Adulthood) and recommends the platform for discovering niche content otherwise missed in mainstream media.
• “It is a platform that directly connects creators with our audience… There is just a lot there for whatever is interesting to you.” – Gretchen [21:10]

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6. Listener Responses: Engaging Over Disengaging

[22:18–28:32]

• On Engagement and Anxiety:
  • Listener Sarah finds that “choosing not to disengage has massively reduced my anxiety,” after switching from eco-anxiety to active engagement by joining an environmental charity. [23:21]
  • “Action is the antidote to anxiety.” – Gretchen [23:27]
• Structuring Social Time:
  • Listener Nora shared a ‘thirds’ model for social adjustment after retirement—balancing alone time, social periphery (like coffee shops), and focused friend time to stave off disengagement.
• Community and Summer of Mahjong:
  • Listener Elizabeth turned logistical obstacles into opportunity by organizing Mahjong activities—a practical model for turning constraints into themed fun. [25:41–28:14]
  • “Having a standing Mahjong date makes it happen.” – Listener Elizabeth [26:25]

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7. Demerits & Gold Stars

[30:29–35:03]

• Demerit (Elizabeth): Procrastinated on car maintenance (tire pressure and sensor issue).
  • “I have just been ignoring it and wishing it would go away, which obviously is not gonna happen.” – Elizabeth [31:23]
• Gold Star (Gretchen): Celebrated 20 years of her children’s/YA literature book group, emphasizing the joy of shared passion and community.
  • “I can’t wait to celebrate our anniversary coming up.” – Gretchen [34:08]
• Bonus Gold Star: Sound engineer Chuck received a listener-nominated gold star for consistently excellent podcast audio quality.
  • “This is never true for your show. And I assume that is due to Chuck. Gold star.” – Listener Jenna [34:18]
  • “Chuck, well done, well done, well done.” – Gretchen [35:03]

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8. Resource Recommendation

[35:24–36:09]

• “Fall in Love with Your Next Novel Quiz”: Four-question quiz at HappierCast.com/nextnote for tailored book recommendations.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “100 days is still a lot of time.” – Gretchen [08:33]
• “Sometimes it’s just as hard to get ourselves to do something that’s fun... as it is for something that we actually really do not want to do.” – Gretchen [10:08]
• “Action is the antidote to anxiety.” – Gretchen [23:27]
• “Having a standing Mahjong date makes it happen.” – Listener Elizabeth [26:25]
• “Chuck, well done, well done, well done.” – Gretchen [35:03]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------------------|-------------| | Book Club Announcement & “All the Way to the River” | 01:56–05:15 | | Being Mentioned in The New Yorker | 05:15–06:45 | | Listener Regret Story | 06:45–07:44 | | The 100-Day Countdown | 07:45–15:46 | | Happiness Hack: Substack | 18:18–22:18 | | Engagement Listener Feedback | 22:18–28:32 | | Demerits & Gold Stars | 30:29–35:03 | | Resource Rec – Book Quiz | 35:24–36:09 |

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Conclusion

This episode is a motivating invitation to use the symbolic power of 100 days to reevaluate, recommit, and engage—whether with personal goals, creative pursuits, or social communities. The practical tips, listener stories, and resource shares provide plenty of accessible ways to boost happiness as the year winds down, all within Gretchen and Elizabeth’s signature conversational, encouraging tone.

Transcript

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[B]

Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about strategies and suggestions for how we can all live happier lives. This week we'll talk about starting the 100 day countdown to the end of the year and we'll share a hack for getting a source of great new material to read and we'll make an exciting announcement. I'm Gretchen Rubin, writer who studies happiness, good habits, human nature, and secrets of adulthood. I'm here in my little home office in New York City and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, we are very excited about this announcement.

[A]

That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in la. And yes, Gretch, this is big.

[B]

Yes. So we are announcing our next choice for the Happier Podcast Book Club and that choice is Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir, All the Way to the Love, Loss and Liberation. And you have probably been hearing about this book because, Elizabeth, would you agree that there has just been enormous buzz around the publication of this memoir?

[A]

Oh my God, there is so much buzz. The book was just chosen for Oprah, so great minds think alike.

[B]

We had already figured this out and got this in the works before. We couldn't announce it yet, but we got there first. But yes, great minds think alike.

[A]

And of course, Gretch. Elizabeth Gilbert is known for her huge memoir, the 2006 Eat Pray Love, which sold more than 30 million copies and was made into a movie starring Julia Roberts as Elizabeth Gilbert. She also has the great Books Committed Big Magic, which is all about creativity.

[B]

Plus she has novels like the Signature of All Things and the City of girls. She gave a TED Talk that had more than 20 million views. So many people follow her across social media and she is just a really, really great writer. And this book is just sparking an enormous amount of conversation.

[A]

Yeah Gretch, we got the Arc for this, an early copy. And I mean I think I read it in one day. I mean I just sat down, I could not put it down. I texted you in the middle of it, like have you started the book? It is so compelling. And then you read it I think the next day. And we both have been talking about it ever since.

[B]

Yeah, we just whipped through it. So here is a description of all the Way to the river what if.

[A]

Your most beautiful love story turned into your biggest nightmare? 20 years ago, Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love inspired millions of readers to embark upon their own journeys of self discovery. A decade, decade later, Big Magic empowered countless others to live their most creative lives. Now comes another landmark book about love and loss, addiction and recovery, grief and liberation. In 2000, a friend sent Liz to see a new hairdresser named Raya Elias. An intense and unlikely curiosity sparked between these two apparent opposites. Raya, an East Village badass who lived boldly on her own terms but feared she was a failed artist. Liz, a married people pleaser with a surpr unfettered sense of creativity. Over the years they became friends, then best friends, then inseparable. When tragedy entered their lives, the truth was finally laid bare. The two were in love, unacknowledged. They were also a pair of addicts on a collision course toward catastrophe. What if the love of your life and the person you most trusted in the world became a danger to your sanity and well being? What if the dear friend who taught you so much about your self destructive tendencies became the unstable partner with whom you disastrously reenacted every one of them? And what if your most devastating heartbreak opened a pathway to your greatest awakening? All the Way to the river is for everyone who has ever been captive to love or to any other passion, substance or craving, and who yearns at long last for peace and freedom.

[B]

There is so much to talk about in this book. So get to reading, send us your questions, send us your comments and we will be talking with Elizabeth Gilbert in an upcoming episode. I cannot wait to dive into this book. Same and then we also got a really nice mention from Joshua Rothman in the New Yorker magazine. He wrote an article called AI Is Coming for Culture and the description is we're used to algorithms guiding our choices when machines can effortlessly generate the content we consume though what's left for the human imagination? So this is a very thought provoking article that ranges very, very widely and we were both delighted to see that we and the happier podcast get a mention.

[A]

Yes, Gretch Josh writes, even as our addiction to podcasts reflects our need to be consuming media at all times, they are islands of tranquility within the algorithmic ecosystem. I often listen to them while tidying for short stints of effort. I rely on song exploder lens work and happier with Gretchen Rubin. When I have more to do, I listen to Radiolab or the Ezra Klein or Tyler Cowen's conversations with Tyler. I like the ideas, but also the company. Washing dishes is more fun with Gretchen and her screenwriter sister Elizabeth riding along.

[B]

So that's so fun.

[A]

It really is. That was such a surprise. My friend Gage alerted me to it and it was such a nice treat.

[B]

Yes. So we really appreciate that. And finally we got this note from Lily. In response to episode 546's discussion about why we might embrace regret, Lily wrote, listening to your examples of learning from regret, I remember the week before my mom died, her student came to our house to visit with her as she had stage four glioblastoma and was unable to have a third brain surgery to remove this tumor. It was nearing the end and I had reached out to friends and family to give them a chance to write and say goodbye. Mary came over that night and after visiting told me that she wished she had recorded videos of her grandma while she was alive. This prompted me to record one laying with my mom and saying I love you to each other. She died a few days after and I am forever grateful for this saved memory. This is a beautiful example how one person's expression of regret can really teach somebody in time to do something in a way that they're really grateful for. So that's a beautiful example from Lily.

[A]

It really is.

[B]

So this week our try this at home suggestion is to start your 100 day countdown. September 22nd is the day when we will have 100 days left in the year until we hit the new year. And also September 22nd is the last day of summer. So this is a day that I feel like has a lot of symbolic significance. There's a lot of power in the number 100. It's like 25, 12, 7. There's certain numbers that just have special power. So we have the day 100, we have the last day of summer and. And now we're heading towards the end of the year.

[A]

Yes. And We've both been reviewing our 25 for 25 lists and seeing how we're doing and focusing on things we want to make sure we get done in the next hundred days. 100 days is still a lot of time.

[B]

100 days is still a lot of time. And so we're not going to go through the whole list, but it is useful to review it and think, okay, and maybe there's some low hanging fruit if you want to get as many crossed off as you can. What needs to happen and what might we get done? So Elizabeth, what stands out to you on your list of things that you really wanna focus in on this last hundred days?

[A]

Well, Gretch, speaking of Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my things on my list is to go to seven live events.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So inspired by the last hundred days, I just bought a ticket to see Elizabeth Gilbert when she's in la.

[B]

Fun. That's so great.

[A]

It's in October at the Saban Theater, so I will be seeing Elizabeth Gilbert live and on our zoom. But I wanna see her live too.

[B]

And get that much closer to your list.

[A]

Yes. I still wanna try Solid Core. That's the new workout place. That's really close to me. I haven't gone. I only need to go once. So it's something I can easily cross off.

[B]

I said that I think it should count towards your orange theory. I think you should allow that to meet the definition so that you get a double benefit from it, essentially.

[A]

I think that's fair. I'm going to do that. Also, Gretch, I still really need to get new photos taken with Sarah. So we've got to plan a photo shoot. We've been talking about it, we just have not done it. We've done a little research, but we just need to commit to a day and do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then something else. I really want to do that again is a one off. So it shouldn't be too hard is host a game night. You know, I love playing games like charades and Taboo and I really want to host a game night, so I got to do that.

[B]

Well, this is a good example of sometimes it's just as hard to get ourselves to do something that's fun that we actually look forward to as it is for something that we actually really do not want to do and something that's fairly easy and straightforward as something that's complicated. Complicated and multi step. Like getting photos taken. Yes. They're both still lingering on your list even though they sort of occupy a very different place. So this is why it's good to have a bunch of different stuff on the. On the list.

[A]

Yes. So I'm setting my sights toward these things, and I feel very confident that I will hit these targets.

[B]

There you go. Absolutely.

[A]

How about you? What are you focusing on?

[B]

Well, on the idea that sometimes things that are easy and fun are hard. There are these iconic movies that I wanted to watch, and I haven't watched it Frozen Inside out or Boyhood. So I want to do those. I haven't visited the Earth Room, which is not that far from my apartment. I think it's literally a room full of earth, and you look at it and then that's it. So this is something I could knock out very quickly, but I haven't.

[A]

I bet Eliza would go with you to that. That sounds like something she would enjoy.

[B]

Yes. That's a really good suggestion. I'll, like, turn it into an adventure together, and then we could just go and get a cup of coffee and look at the Earth Room. That's a good idea. Making photo albums, this is something that really big and really arduous. But usually I do leave it towards the end of the year, and so I can do as much as possible. But I want to put it in my mind. And one of the things I'm thinking is maybe in my downtime, between now and when I tackle that, I should be cleaning up my photos in my phone, so that this is just requires less sifting through. And there is a way that you can have it automatically eliminate duplicates. And I need to look into that because, you know, when you have like 15 pics, people are like, oh, I took a bunch for you to choose from. I'm like, oh, no. Now I have to sort through 15 ones to see which one my eyes are opening or whatever. I am behind on my watercolor postcards. I was supposed to do one a month. I have not. I've done some, but I haven't done them one a month. So I wanna send some watercolor postcards. But I will say this, like, on the idea that we wanna look forward and think about our to dos, you also wanna give yourself some ta does. I launched that Sense Us podcast, which that got done. So I'm like, okay, I'm giving myself extra credit for that.

[A]

That is huge, Gretchen. That is a huge undertaking and it's so exciting.

[B]

Yes, everybody listen to the Senseus podcast. It's super fun twist on the advice podcast that I'm doing with Laurie Gottlieb. But then, Elizabeth, both of us have some things on our List where we're not gonna be able to consider them done until the very, very end of the year. Like our slow read of War and Peace.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The whole point of that is it's gonna take, I think we end a few days before December 31st, but it's basically gonna take the whole year. So we have to keep it up.

[A]

Yes, I am up to date on my War and Peace read to the day.

[B]

There you go. Well done.

[A]

And Orange theory. Gretchen, as you mentioned, I have my hundred orange theory classes that I'm working. That's not gonna be done until the very end. That is a tough one.

[B]

That's a tough one.

[A]

That's gonna be a nail biter. You know, I've been adding classes, but then something happens. Like I go out of town and I miss or my foot hurts and I don't wanna strain it. So it's really tough. But I am working, working to hit that.

[B]

I know I'm in suspense, but then one thing I would say another point about why it's so valuable to do this is like, it really can remind you of why you love to do something. Like if you did a game night, you might be like, oh, I wanna do game nights all the time. Like, it might remind you of how fun it is and then make it easier to keep going because you're reacquainted. So something that has been on my list for years, it's been a repeat thing, which is to work outside my office like I used to every single day, take my laptop and work in a coffee shop or a library. And then I got out of the habit of it for years because I love my three monitors. And just the nature of my work now is so much more. Do this stuff like this. I'm not just writing by all the time, but I've really wanted to be going back to it. And so I have gone a few times to work at the New York Society Library, which is one of my very favorite places in all of the world. And I love it so much. And now that I've gone back a few times, now I'm aching to go back. Now I'm like, every day I'm like, oh, my gosh, can I go? And I've timed myself. How long does it take to set up my extra monitor? No time at all, right? It felt like this big, arduous thing, but I'm like, it's not that hard, but it makes me so happy. And so I really. I'm very glad that I put it on the 25 for 25 list. Because it is reminding me of something that I value so much, but I'd forgotten how much I valued it, and now it's very active in my mind again.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe you should arrange your schedule so that you always have Wednesday morning you go to the library so you know not to schedule things.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I know it's hard. It's hard.

[B]

I know scheduling is life and I would love to do that. And that's me being the monk. And I would love to be the monk. Maybe one day I'll get there. I hope so.

[A]

Yes. And Gretchen, if people have stopped, stopped, forgotten, fell off of doing read 25 and 25, now is the time to get back to it. You have a hundred days.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You could just say, I'm gonna read 25 minutes a day for the last hundred days of the year. Just start over. That has been so great. I feel like reading has taken on this whole new life in my life, and I love it.

[B]

Yeah, you can read a lot if you read 25 minutes a day for the next hundred days. So let us know if you do try this at home and how the 100 day countdown works for you. What are you gonna do with the last hundred days? Let us know on Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook. Drop us an [e-mail] or as always, you can go to the show notes. This is happiercast.com552.

[A]

All right, Gretch. Coming up, we've got a happiness hack. It's a place where you can get a whole bunch of great information. But first, this break.

[B]

Foreign Elizabeth. Now that the weather is cooling down and the days are getting shorter, I just have this urge to make our spaces more cozy and to make a space more cozy, Wayfair is the place to go. They have everything we need. I got some throw blankets. Because nothing makes a space feel warmer and cozier to me than having a lot of throw blankets. And what I love about Wayfair is I got them fast, free and hassle free.

[A]

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[B]

I work with a team, I realize how hard it is to hire. It's hard to hire the right people and it's extremely time consuming. You have to wait for the right candidates to apply, sort through resumes, try to get in touch with potential candidates and find candidates. Maybe those aren't even the people who are actively looking for jobs. Well, now the future of hiring looks much brighter because ZipRecruiter's latest tools and features help speed up finding the right people for every role so you can save valuable time. And now you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com happier and if you.

[A]

See a candidate you're really interested in, you can unlock their contact info instantly. Use ZipRecruiter and save time hiring. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And if you go to ziprecruiter.com happier right now, you can try it for free again. That's ziprecruiter.com happier ziprecruiter the smartest way to hire. All right, Gretch, we are back with this week's happiness hack, which is Substack. Yes, you and I talk about Substack all the time.

[B]

Because we do.

[A]

I have a substack newsletter with Sarah for happier in Hollywood. You have a Secrets of Adulthood substack newsletter, but a lot of people just don't know what Substack is.

[B]

Yeah, I was at a dinner party the other night and like this very sophisticated, well read friend we started talking about, oh yeah, do you follow that substack? And he was like, what are you talking about? I have never heard of that. And it made me realize that not so much anymore. But there was a time when we started podcasting where a lot of people were like, what's a podcast? I don't know how to listen to a podcast. And we would go open up their phone, show them the app and just say like, oh my gosh. There's this treasure trove of material. No matter what you're interested in or what you want to follow, there's so much there for you. It's really exciting because if you connect somebody with something that they're really, really interested in and engaged in, especially something that is very available, it's just a great feeling for both of you. It's like you with the audiobook or the Libby App when you're like, you can get this through your library card. And it makes you feel so good. And it makes them feel good because they're like, I had no idea I had access to this. This. So let's explain what Substack is. It's a platform. So what is it?

[A]

Yeah, Substack is an online platform. You can go to it by going to substack.com or the app. But the way most people use it is they sign up for a newsletter and then it comes straight to your email. So I get all these Substack newsletters that I love into my email, you know, once a week, twice a week. However, often people can also send live videos.

[B]

Podcasts.

[A]

Podcasts. Yeah.

[B]

I like using the app. Whatever is your preference, you can get to the material that way. It's easier than it sounds. But it is a platform that directly connects creators with our audience. And so for writers like the two of us, it's a great way to connect with people through our writing. It's kind of the evolution of blogging in a way. People often have sort of a free tier where they offer some stuff for free and then they often will have a paid tier where there's additional material or maybe there's ask me anythings or there's live videos or there's other kinds of things that might be behind a paywall or maybe are free. Everyone is a little bit different in how each creator sets it up.

[A]

Yes. And this started in 2017, so pretty recently. But it has really grown in the last few years. I remember Eliza had a substack and being like, what is substack? I've never heard of Substack. And now of course, half my life is like, what's happening on Substack? There is just so much great stuff. They also have a sort of Twitter like feed. You can post what they called notes, which is very similar to Twitter was back in the day.

[B]

Right. If you want to engage. But the thing is, it's just like audiobooks or just podcasts. If you're interested in fashion, there's fashion. If you're interested in true crime, there's true crime. If you're interested in politics, there's politics. If you're interested in science, there's science. If you're interested in George Saunders and his ideas about the short story, you can follow him. There is just a lot there for whatever is interesting to you. It's just a great thing to know about and to explore. It's just this funny thing where for some people it's part of their chatter, the way they would talk about TV and podcasts and movies and then you run into the person who's like, I have no idea what you're talking about. So if that is, you, check it out. And of course be sure to check out the Happier in Hollywood substack and the Secrets of Adults, which are our substacks.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Which we highly recommend.

[A]

Yes, we do. And ours has lots of information for aspiring writers and mine Secrets of Adulthood.

[B]

It's Secrets of Adulthood where I write a short discussion about an interesting secret of adulthood. But they're really fun to do. You and I both, I think, are very creatively energized by doing it, Elizabeth, don't you think?

[A]

For sure.

[B]

And now for listener answers. So we want to highlight some responses that we got from previous episodes. We got some interesting responses, kind of like fall in two groups and the first one was people responding to episode 547. That's where we talked about Beware the Impulse to Disengage.

[A]

Yes, Sarah said. I love the recent episode on resisting disengagement. I used to have lots of anxiety about climate change and felt like there was nothing meaningful I could do. Things like recycling, whilst important, felt like a drop in the ocean. But over time I took the decision to engage more deeply rather than ignore the crisis. I met with my elected representative, campaign for policies at work to reduce unnecessary flights and now I even work for an environmental charity setting up fixing factories, community repair hubs, helping people fix broken items instead of throwing them away. Choosing not to disengage has massively reduced my anxiety. Plus it's gained me a new job, new friends and a nuisance of purpose along the way.

[B]

That's exactly why engaging is valuable. And Elizabeth, we often talk about how action is the antidote to anxiety. And that is exactly what Sarah is describing there as well. Yeah, Nora wrote. I recently retired from public school service after a 35 year career. I was blessed that it was able to meet my professional and personal needs throughout. I had been contemplating retirement for about two years when a job change for my husband sealed the deal. His new job was going to take us to the east coast after living in the Midwest my entire life life. The last several years we had spent more time in New York City when my son was at Columbia Law School, but nothing more than a long weekend. This move was going to be a huge change. Although my husband had made the move, I didn't head out until about six months later in order to fulfill my school year contract. Even though I was comfortable with my decision and had the support of our two adult sons, I would still get pangs of worry, especially when someone would say, wow, that's a big change. Shortly before the move, I watched a reel of a young adult discuss how to spend her weekend when her husband was out of town. One third was total alone time, doing such things as tasks around the house or scrolling social media. Another one third of the time would be spent socializing on the periphery, like being at a coffee shop or library or shopping, and one third of the time with friends. This model has helped me adjust to our new community. I spend some of my day solo, some of my day in activities that introduce me to new people, but no personal friendships yet, like pickleball, golf and volunteering and my evenings with my husband. He has to pick up the slack of the 1/3 socializing with friends, since I haven't made those yet. But I'm hopeful. My husband and I spend the weekends exploring or catching up with acquaintances in the area on the days I can easily choose to disengage. I keep this structure in mind. I don't follow it strictly, but it does keep me from binge watching, reading, or napping all day when I feel sorry for myself. So this is a very structured way to think about engagement so you're not overwhelmed by the feeling like I just need to engage all the time. But you're making sure that you are spending that time getting out there and building those relationships in a new place, which is very, very hard.

[A]

Yes, this is really smart. And then, Gretchen, we heard from a couple of listeners who talked about designing their summer with mahjong.

[B]

Yeah, Elizabeth, right up your alley. You're the Mah Jongg person.

[A]

Yes. And another Elizabeth says, there are countless ways that you both have made my life happier. Thank you. But I've been especially thinking about you during my summer of Mah Jong. I've always loved hearing about Elizabeth playing American Mah Jong. In 2024, I found a teacher and organized a series of classes. Our group became huge and organizing it started taking up a lot of my time. Time having awareness about my tendency reminded me not to take on too much and to ask for help. I also realized that the outer accountability of my fellow mahjong players makes me happier because I now have a social hobby that is good for my brain, lots of new friends and something fun on my calendar. It's hard to make plans with fellow moms, but having a standing Mahjong date makes it happen. I was dying to make big summertime travel plans. But right now, that is challenging with small children.

[B]

Children.

[A]

This year I reframed staying home into my summer of mahjong. During my summer of mahjong, I. One, planned a mahjong tournament for 50 people.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Two, read the new mahjong book by Nicole Wong. Three, I love this. Got a floating mah Jong table and played in the pool. Four, Played at a Chinese restaurant with a mah Jong room with automated tables. They converted the tables to accommodate American Mah Jong.

[B]

5.

[A]

Brought together friends, family, and fellow moms from school to learn how to play. It's much more fun to attend an event that includes an activity especially for people who don't know each other well.

[B]

Gosh. So many great ideas.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

So fun. And it is true. It's often easier to make friends when you're doing an activity or working on something together than just talking, which can sometimes feel awkward. There's just so many great ideas.

[A]

So many. I really want to play on an automated table. They look so cool.

[B]

All of this is just like. I have no idea what it means, but it sounds great. The mahjong of it all. I get the relationships and the fun, but the actual mahjong is a little bit mysterious. And then Amy wrote, I'm so excited. I just set up a reading and mahjong retreat with my friend in Kansas City. We are going to do a field trip to the new Bam Bam Room, revisit the Rabbit Hole, and possibly try Winstead's for my first time, in addition to lots of reading, resting, and playing mahjong, and it's within driving distance from my home in Nebraska. Elizabeth, reading in mahjong retreat. That sounds amazing.

[A]

Amazing. And two of our favorite places, Kansas City and of course, Nebraska.

[B]

Yeah, we love Nebraska. That's where our grandparents are from. We love Winstead's. You gotta go to Winstead's. It's so great. The Rabbit Hole is this amazing museum dedicated to picture books, which is fabulous and like nothing you've ever visited before.

[A]

Yes. And if you're wondering, our favorite barbecue is Q39.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

She didn't ask, but I'll offer that.

[B]

But we haven't gone to the Bam Bam Room. Elizabeth. I haven't even heard of the Bam Bam. It's an intriguing thing. Okay, we'll have to look that up.

[A]

Yes. Okay. Coming up, I give myself a car related demerit. But first, this break. It's important to recharge, but when you go on vacation, please don't hide the key under the mat. And that's safe ish. We know safe ish. Home security hacks don't actually work. We just use them because they're easy. ADT's systems help keep you safe and secure and are customizable to your needs.

[B]

ADT offers tools and services like 247 monitoring and cameras. You can check from virtually anywhere with the ADT plus app. Visit ADT.com or call 1-800-ADT ASAP. Don't settle for, say fish. Get ADT. If you've been keeping up with the podcast, you know that last month Elizabeth and I went on our first ever reading retreat, which was amazing. It was so fun. Just eating, reading, and sleeping all day every day. No sightseeing, no scheduling, no stress. And it got us thinking that you could really turn anything into a themed retreat. You could go biking, you could go hiking, you could do a board game retreat with friends.

[A]

Friends.

[B]

Or a binge watching retreat. Whatever you're into, it's all about blocking out time and dedicating yourself to something you love.

[A]

And while you're away, why not host your home on Airbnb? It's an easy, flexible way to take in some extra cash and make the most of your space. And who knows? That cozy reading nook that you enjoy in your house day to day could be the site of someone else's first annual reading retreat. Treat your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host.

[B]

Okay, Elizabeth, it's time for demerits and gold stars. And this is an even numbered episode. And so that's your turn for a demerit.

[A]

Okay, Gretchen, this is something car maintenance. We all hate it. Those of us who have cars. And I'm not great about it. And I have to tell you, the tire pressure sensor on one of my tires just disappeared. It just went blank. And also, I think my pressure is low in the other tires. So essentially, I have got to deal with this. I have to figure out. I didn't even know that was a thing that happened. I think it's probably not that big of a deal. You know, it's either just getting something small or maybe I need a new tire, but I just have been ignoring it and wishing it would go away, which obviously is not gonna happen.

[B]

Yeah, you're like, maybe that'll magically fix itself. And then you're like, nope, exactly.

[A]

So that's my demerit. Hopefully, by mentioning it, I will get myself to deal with it. Or perhaps to beg Adam to deal with it, which is entirely possible.

[B]

Yeah, delegation counts. That's a way to get something done for sure.

[A]

What is your gold star?

[B]

Okay, well, I just mentioned picture books. I'm a huge fan of children's literature and young adult literature. Also picture books. But because I love this literature so much, over the years, I have created a book group where we read and discuss children's literature and young adult literature. And it turned out the group got so big it had to split. So now I'm in two book groups where we read children's literature or young adult literature. And our 20th anniversary of our first meeting is coming up. For that first meeting, we read the lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. lewis. So I have decided to plan a party to celebrate. 2025 ended up being so many anniversaries for me, it was kind of bonkers. Speaking of my 25 for 25 list, one of the things I put on there was that I wanted to plan a reunion for all of the people who clerked for the Supreme Court the same year that I did. And I am doing that. I cannot cross it off the list because it has not happened, but it is underway. And I just thought, hey, I know my limitations. I cannot plan two reunion parties at the same time. And so it's gonna be. When I actually host this party, it will be 20 years plus several months. But nobody's keeping track, so I can't wait to do it. And the thing about these groups is they are just such a huge engine of happiness for me because I love this literature. I love having the chance to talk to people about it. And also, there was this funny thing that happened where a friend of mine was like, oh, look what just came in the mail for me. And she had gotten an advance copy of the Philip Pullman book that's coming out in October. It's the third volume in what is called the Book of Dust trilogy. So Philip Pullman wrote a trilogy called His Dark Material. The first book is called the Golden Compass. It's one of my all time favorite books. I've read it like a thousand times. All of the books are great. And I didn't realize that the third book was coming so soon. And I was just beside myself with joy. I was like, this is so amazing. I had no idea. Now I want to reread the first two books in that trilogy so that I'm ready for it. I was all fired up. And then I thought, you know what? I know people for whom this. This is incredibly important news. And So I sat down and I, like, I wrote an email called. It was like, alert, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. The Philip Bulman book is coming out in October. Like, get ready. And I got all these emails from people back being like, oh, my gosh, that's so great. Like, I gotta get myself ready. And it just made me so happy that I had this group of people who shared this very. You know, it's a small group, but a passionate group. And so I can't wait to celebrate our anniversary coming up.

[A]

That's so fun. Fun.

[B]

That's so fun. And we got a bonus gold star. Very well deserved, Extremely well deserved for Chuck from our listener, Jenna.

[A]

Yes, she said, I've been meaning to send this for a while. Gold star for Chuck. Like many listeners, I listen to my favorite podcast while at the gym. Cooking, cleaning, and getting ready in the morning. This means I listen attentively but want to hit play and let it just go. Many of my favorite podcasts cannot get their sound consistent, and I have to constantly adjust the volume to hear or not go deaf. The commercials, hosts, and guests are all at different volumes. This is never true for your show. And I assume that is due to Chuck. Gold star. Well, yes, it is due to Chuck, our executive producer. He works very hard on making the sound consistent, and he deserves this huge gold star.

[B]

I've had that happen many times where, like, I'm lying down, napping, and the podcast, and then all of a sudden the volume goes up to 10, or you're listening and then all of a sudden the volume drops out. So, Chuck, well done, well done, well done.

[A]

Thank you. It's so nice to be appreciated.

[B]

Yes, thank you.

[A]

Yay, Chuck. And what is the resource for this week, Gretch?

[B]

So we're talking about read 25 and 25, and lately I've been hearing from so many listeners who are looking for a great book to read this fall. Keeping on with their read 25 and 25 or just read reading, we are bringing back the quiz, the fall in love with your next novel quiz, which was super popular and now it's got a whole new batch of suggestions. I worked with the great [e-mail] to create this quiz. It's just four questions and you'll get a few recommendations tailored to your current mood and reading style. So if you're looking for a great recommendation, try [e-mail] nextnote and speaking of what we're reading next, Elizabeth, what are you reading now?

[A]

I am reading Actress of a Certain Age by Jeff Hidler.

[B]

And no surprise, I am rereading the Secret Commonwealth by Philip Pullman. And that's it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Start your 100 day countdown. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.

[A]

Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada. Remember, remember to subscribe to Lemonada Premium. You can listen ad free. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or go to lemonadapremium.com and here's your rhyming reminder.

[B]

Love the show. Leave a review to let us know. Or more to the point, to let other people know that they should listen to the show too.

[A]

Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Craft.

[B]

And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward. But Elizabeth, I can't even envision what a floating mah jong table is. Have you seen one of those with your own eyes?

[A]

Yes. Well, not with my own eyes, but on TikTok in the algorithm that has a lot of tiktoks of people playing mahjong in the pool. It's like a square raft with a hard surface and with trays for your tiles. You have to look it up.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But it looks very fun.

[B]

It looks so fun. What a fun idea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From the Onward project.

[A]

Hi Gretchen, Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here. We host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you. You know, Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes. What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?

[B]

Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude, restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier. With greater self knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Wherever you get podcasts, you can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships Keke Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.