← Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Ep. 563: Need a One-Word Theme for Next Year? We Review and Reveal Our Words
00:38:35
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- [00:00]
A
Gretchen Adam has a new hobby which is grilling steaks. And it's so wonderful that we can get steaks from Omaha Steaks which are so delicious and we can host around the holidays with this delicious food that we're actually making. It's very satisfying. Even better, Omaha Steaks right now is having their Sizzle all the Way sale where you can get 50% off site wide at Omaha Steaks.
- [00:27]
B
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A
Lemonada.
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B
Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about becoming happier. This week we will talk about choosing your one word theme for the year. We will review our experiences with our Word for this year and reveal our words for next year. Plus we share a hack for a fun and original way to celebrate the new year. I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, human nature. I'm in a home office and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, I love picking our one word themes for the year. I love hearing what your choice is.
- [01:50]
A
That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in la. And yes Gretchen, I have come up with my word. I was having trouble as you know, but I landed on it and I'm very passionate about it.
- [02:03]
B
Excellent. But before we jump in, we got a few updates and this one is a Five Senses update. So I particularly love this because of course ever since I wrote Life in Five Senses, I love anything related to the Five Senses. Ashley writes, I recently needed a hair product with more hold for my 4 year old son and found some old Herbal Essence spray gel from the back of the bathroom cabinet after spraying it on my son's hair. My 7 year old daughter said I smell a memory. She remembers the scent from when I used to use it on her hair when she was younger. It tickled me and made me think of you so I had to share. I love that. I love. What a fun thing to say. I smell a memory. That's such a beautiful way to put that.
- [02:42]
A
I love it. And Gretchen Jane had something to say about taking the trip. We had to try this at home, which was take the trip, she said. At 7:30am the sky is starting to lighten with a rosy color over the red tile roofs. Reminds me of the rosy fingers. Dawn from the Odyssey. A new day and a fresh and young beginning of what is to come. I'm listening to your podcast at my kitchen table in my small apart hotel. Never heard that, Gretch. I guess it's an apartment hotel.
- [03:13]
B
Yeah, that's cool. A part hotel. Okay.
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A
Apart hotel. I have just started to take my trip. I am in Provence for six weeks to study French and explore the area through Road Scholar for the last 20 years. Plus, if you asked what I wanted to do in the next five years, I would have said to live for a period of time over seeds. I'm in my 70s now. I lost my cousin a few years ago. I thought I was only inheriting two quilts our grandmother made, but I also received a small inheritance that I never expected. It's taken me three years to decide what to do with it. International education was very important to her and she left most of her money to the university where she taught to the international education program. I decided this was a way to honor her and to honor myself. I also decided to take this trip by myself. My husband walked the camino by himself 10 years ago. This is my Camino. Your podcast came at a perfect time to reinforce my decision. I also love your mantra, scheduling is life. I'm learning somewhat late how important this is.
- [04:18]
B
This is so wonderful. I love this.
- [04:21]
A
Yes. Such a great way, as she said, to honor her cousin and herself.
- [04:26]
B
That's such a great reminder. Take the trip. So this week our try this at home suggestion is to choose your one word theme for the year. Now choosing the one word theme for the year is part of the design your year set. So there's the yearly challenge. This year we had read 25 and 25 and we've had rest and walk and go outside. And then there's making the yearly list like the 25 for 25 list that we've done for several years. And we will be talking about our ideas for 2026 in the upcoming episodes. Super fun to reveal those now. Elizabeth, have you finalized your 26 for 26 list yet?
- [05:04]
A
No, I have not.
- [05:06]
B
No, I have way more than 26 items. So I'm going to have to like buckle down and figure out what I want to do. But this week we're talking about the one word theme and this is when you identify kind of your overarching aim for the next year, what you want the year to hold, and you summarize it in a word or a phrase.
- [05:27]
A
Yes. I love this, Gretchen.
- [05:28]
B
Yes. And over the years, we have found a couple things about picking the one word theme. First of all, it's great if it has multiple levels of meaning. When you pick novel, and it was partly because you wanted to work on a novel, writing a novel, but you also wanted to do new things.
- [05:46]
A
Yes.
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B
So it had multiple meanings. It's great when it's something that can be visualized or if you find a way to interpret it visually so that you can have a mug or a piece of jewelry or a T shirt that helps remind you of your one word theme. And the most important thing is that it captures some aspect of what you want the future year to hold for you.
- [06:09]
A
Yes. And I like it to be a positive word or a word that, to me, feels positive and like having momentum as opposed to a just blah word.
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B
Yeah. And along those lines, I think that a concrete word is much more powerful than an abstract word. The more abstract it is, I think it just doesn't have the same punch.
- [06:28]
A
Yes.
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B
But so, Elizabeth, let's go over some of our previous years. So what have you had in previous years?
- [06:34]
A
Yeah, so I had Free Time Style, Hot Wheels. That was the year I got a car novel, as you said, Home Control Number six. That was related to being diabetic. Yeah. Lighter butterfly. That was after Covid, when I wanted to be a social butterfly.
- [06:59]
B
Yes.
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A
Right, Stephanie. And book. Yes. And then this year, Gretch, I had bounce.
- [07:06]
B
Yes. So remind us of why you chose Bounce.
- [07:09]
A
Well, bounce I like, because again, it's a very fun, positive word.
- [07:14]
B
It's almost a goofy word.
- [07:16]
A
Yes, Gretch. So many people wanted me to use Tigger as my symbol, you know, because Tigger bounces.
- [07:23]
B
Yes, that's right.
- [07:24]
A
I just don't relate to Tigger, so that didn't work for me. Okay. But here are some of the things about Bounce. It referred to me doing more cardio at Orange Theory. Bouncing up and down on the treadmill.
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B
Because on your 25 for 25, you had that. You wanted to do Orange Theory. How many times?
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A
100 times.
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B
Wow. Okay, so that's a lot of bouncing.
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A
Still working on.
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B
Okay.
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A
I also wanted to bounce back in the Hollywood situation because, you know, Hollywood has taken a tumble. So working on bouncing back.
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B
Yeah. After the strike and all that. Yeah.
- [07:57]
A
And then I like the idea of bouncing into the future because you Know, I have that thing I say of step into the future, but I thought, well, bouncing into the future is even better.
- [08:06]
B
Yes. I think a lot of what you wanted was resilience, but the word resilience is not fun. And it's also kind of overused, and it's very abstract bounce. There's an airiness to it. There's an energy to it. There's a positivity to it. That's very exciting.
- [08:22]
A
Yes. And then, Gretchen, I landed on a kangaroo for myself. Symbol for bounce. Because obviously, kangaroos bounce also like that. They box, so they punch their way forward.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And many listeners said, although it turns out not to be strictly true, that kangaroos only move forward, which. Who knew, right? So that's a fun thing, too. So that turned out to be a great symbol. And I got a beautiful handmade mug with a kangaroo on it. And what I love about it is I'll keep it probably forever, and it'll always remind me of the word bounce.
- [08:58]
B
It's funny. Elizabeth, whenever I come to your house, I'm like, let's clear the clutter in your office. This was your team theme, ROAR24. And I gave you that bookmark with the lion on it. You have all of these artifacts around, and I do, too. But I guess I notice them more when I'm at your place, because when it's your own stuff, there is a worry that things just fade into the background because you're so used to them. But when I see something in your house, I'm like, oh, I remember. Lightning bolt.
- [09:23]
A
Yes. One thing I have paid more attention to in recent times is to choose something with my symbol that I do want to keep because I like having those artifacts. So I wanna get something nice. Like last year, for Christmas, I got Sarah a really nice little tray from John Darien with her feather symbol. And I'm sure she'll keep that. And it's just kind of a nice continuity thing.
- [09:47]
B
If it was important to you one year, it's probably important to you forever. One of the points of having these artifacts is to visually remind you of this. Aim for yourself. So when you see the kangaroo, you'll remember, Okay, I wanna bounce. I wanna be resilient. I wa. Have that airiness. I want to step into the future. It carries all those ideas with it.
- [10:04]
A
Yes. But how about you, Gretchen? Let's go over some of your words and your word of 2025.
- [10:10]
B
So I have to say, Elizabeth, I learned from you over the years because I had years where they were pretty boring. And dull. And then I caught from you how to do a better job. So I think my more recent ones are better than my earlier ones. So I had upgrade, Bigger, lighten Up, Repurpose, Delegate, Infrastructure, Growth, Open, Salt, Wave, and Revisited. And the fact is, all of these really were important to me. As I see them, I'm like, I still talk about repurposing all the time. It's a huge aim of mine and it's super important, but it's not so interesting.
- [10:53]
A
Yes, I love salt and wave are my 2 favorite of yours.
- [10:57]
B
Well, speaking of the visual symbol, I picked the Great Wave, which is turns out to be the most reproduced artwork in the world right now. You know, the Great Wave by Hakusai. So whenever I would see it in the world, I would be reminded, oh, it's the wave. And people would send me, oh, what about this LEGO set? And what about this coloring book? It was a very fun thing to tap into. And of course it would remind me of my one word theme. And then I love salt. I have a really almost mystical reverence for salt that came out of writing life in five Senses and understanding. Like how truly extraordinary salt is, this magical substance. And so now I feel like even when I see a salt shaker in a diner, I'm like, I give respect to salt. So that was a really powerful word too.
- [11:42]
A
Love that. And then what was your word this year?
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B
So this year I debated and debated between stone and door, and I do love stone. Like, stone is a really powerful word. But in the end, I pick door because of course, I'm in the season of the open door, which is my rebranding of the empty nest. And to me, the word door is I can go out into the world and I can also come back. It's a word of hospitality, but it's also a word of refuge. It's a word of transition. Because I'm in a transition time, it's very physical. Like, I think doors are really interesting in mythology. Doors, thresholds, transitions, crossroads. These are often considered to be places of great power and danger and opportunity. And so it's been interesting for me to just explore the doorness of it. And so I really enjoyed that symbol. I think it was a really good symbol for me for this year, but most of all because of open door.
- [12:41]
A
And did you end up picking like one door as your personal symbol for the year or was it just all doors?
- [12:48]
B
You know, I was sort of hoping that I would find a physical thing. And I have to say on my book tour, gold, gold Gold star. Some reader gave me a frame door with a knocker and it just stands. And I'm like, very excited. I'm gonna set it up on a bookcase. I have a whole place set up for it. I haven't done it yet because of reasons that became a visual symbol and that just magically came to me during my book tour for Secrets of Adulthood. So I did actually get a physical thing that sits on a shelf that is the door. But I didn't find a necklace or, you know, a tote bag or a mug or something like that because door is just a part of something. So I was very excited to get that.
- [13:27]
A
Yes. And now when you see it, you'll remember that.
- [13:30]
B
No. And I'll have it out for the rest of my life.
- [13:32]
A
Yes. Door is one I could see myself borrowing in the future when Jack goes to college.
- [13:37]
B
Yes, that's true.
- [13:38]
A
Yes.
- [13:39]
B
You're welcome to share. Thank you.
- [13:42]
A
All right, Gretch. Coming up, we are going to reveal our words for 2026. But first, this break. This podcast is sponsored by Naked Wines. Naked Wines is a wine club that directly connects you to the world's best independent winemakers so you can get world class wine delivered straight to your door. I love to drink wine, Gretchen, but I am not well educated. It's hard for me to make picks based on anything besides the label. So I love that Naked Wines delivers to my door bottles that I know are going to be great from independent winemakers.
- [14:26]
B
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- [14:57]
A
It seems like the holidays just came on so incredibly fast. I can't believe they're here. And of course, holidays means gift giving. Gretch. Adam was asking what I might want for Christmas. I just pointed him to Wayfair and especially to some lovely candlesticks that I really wanted because, you know, I'm into my tablescape aspirations. So I know that those lovely candlesticks will be coming my way. And what's great is that Wayfair has a huge selection of home items in every style, which makes it easy to find a gift for everybody on your list, not just for yourself as I did.
- [15:35]
B
Plus there's fast and easy delivery even on the big stuff so you can get what you need when you need it. No more huge delivery fees for furniture. Get big stuff like sofas, dining tables, beds, desks and more shipped free. Get last minute hosting essentials gift for all your loved ones and decor to celebrate the holidays. For way less head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y f a I r.com Wayfair Every style Every home Gretch.
- [16:04]
A
We take gift giving seriously, but sometimes we do leave it for the last minute. It has happened to me. Sometimes there's someone I just haven't figured out what to get them. Well, I had this happen and then thank goodness I discovered aura frames. Aura frames or digital frames that look incredible and you can upload unlimited photos and video and the great thing is you could even do it before before it ships. So when the person gets already has photos and video on it and the.
- [16:36]
B
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- [17:11]
A
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- [17:30]
B
For instance, have you heard of the Primrose Friends? In every Primrose School, classroom teachers use these 12 lovable puppets to make character development joyful, meaningful and memorable. From exploring generosity with Benjamin the Bear to practicing honesty with Peanut the Pony, every friend plays a special part in helping children learn important values while having plenty of fun along the way. We could all use some friends like that. You can learn more@primroseschools.com now enrolling infants through children age 5. That's primroseschools.com for more information. Okay Elizabeth, what is your word for 2026 and for people who don't remember, explain how you were having trouble. You usually don't have trouble, but this year you did.
- [18:26]
A
Yes, Gretchen, I was talking on More happier about how I was having trouble coming up with my word. I don't know why. Normally a word just appears to me, and it's very clear, and I know what it is. This year, I really had to think about, okay, what do I want and how do I want to represent that? I told you I considered the word beauty because I wanted to, one, look better and two, appreciate the beauty around me. But again, beauty is such a kind of generic word. Didn't feel right.
- [18:58]
B
Right.
- [18:59]
A
Didn't quite get to where I wanted to go.
- [19:01]
B
Did you have, like, a long list that you were considering or was it like, no, you were just coming up with them one at a time?
- [19:07]
A
No, I didn't have a long list at all. I was just coming up with them one at a time. And then once this came to me, I immediately knew that was the word.
- [19:15]
B
Okay, so what is.
- [19:19]
A
Is X ray?
- [19:21]
B
Okay, explain. I love it. It's so concrete, and it's from a whole different part of the world of symbols. So what is the X ray? What does that mean?
- [19:30]
A
So X ray is because I really want to look within and find my peace, my happiness, all of that. I really want to look within. And that was sort of the beauty of it. You know, I wanted to appreciate beauty, but I really want to look within, inward.
- [19:48]
B
Interesting.
- [19:49]
A
Which I often don't do, despite the fact that, you know, we're always analyzing everything.
- [19:54]
B
Yeah.
- [19:54]
A
So I want to be good with self, which is looking inward. But then I also want to have X ray vision for the future, especially the future of Hollywood. I want to be able to look ahead and see what's happening and act accordingly.
- [20:09]
B
Ah.
- [20:10]
A
What I love is that it's two opposites, which is looking within, but then also looking out and ahead.
- [20:17]
B
That's so interesting because. Because it has to do with deepening perception, the perception that's going on inside yourself, but then it's also the perception of what's going out into the world.
- [20:28]
A
To me, X ray vision has a feel of future. Right. Like, again, bouncing into the future. It's envisioning the future, but at the same time being good with what is.
- [20:39]
B
But it's also about seeing below surfaces or not getting distracted by what's on the top, but really penetrating to what is the essence or what are the deeper trends, or what does it all mean? How are you diagnosing what's going on so that you're responding properly. And my whole thing is identify the problem. And this is one of the things I'm writing about in my open door book, which is if you don't identify the problem, you can't come up with the correct solution. And so it's really important to understand what's going on so that you can take the right action. And as you're navigating the changes in Hollywood, are you diagnosing what's happening?
- [21:17]
A
Yes. That is a great point.
- [21:19]
B
It's funny, I was hearing a futurist talk, and he said what we do as futurists is we don't think about the future at all. We only try to understand very clearly what is happening right now. He said most people don't really understand what's happening right now. And if you understand what's happening right now, you have a much better handle on what might happen in the future. And I thought that was so interesting. Cause it is. It's really hard to understand what is happening right now.
- [21:42]
A
Yes. Oh, that's so interesting.
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B
Well, what is the symbol gonna be?
- [21:46]
A
Okay, well, it's not gonna be an X ray, if that's what anyone is thinking.
- [21:50]
B
Okay. It's like a broken bone or like a spoon inside somebody's stomach or something.
- [21:56]
A
That's not fun. It is an X. Ooh. And that X stands to me. In addition for X ray, it's X marks the spot. An X is also a kiss, which I like. Cause that's a very positive thing. A kiss.
- [22:10]
B
Yes.
- [22:10]
A
One of my symbols this year was a B because Sarah and I had a team theme which was flower and fly 2025. And our symbol was a B and I got a B ring. So I've been looking at X rings, of which there are a selection. So I want to get a nice ring that is in the shape of an X. And I think that'll be a really nice visual reminder that I can wear. I like wearing my visual reminders in big meetings. Like I wear my B ring when.
- [22:39]
B
We pitch as like a good luck symbol.
- [22:42]
A
Yes. Yeah. Yes. It becomes a talisman. So I'm very exc. After having had trouble with it, now I'm all about my one word theme and my symbol.
- [22:54]
B
I feel like it's so imaginative. That is just not a word or a concept that I would have ever thought of in this context. And it has that multiple layers of meaning. Oh, you know what always makes me, well, maybe this is X marks the spot. But when I think of an X, I also think of like a treasure map where X is where the treasure is.
- [23:12]
A
Yes.
- [23:12]
B
This is the place to focus or this is the place where you'll find what you're looking for.
- [23:18]
A
Yes. Oh, I love that. Yes, the treasure map. See, it just keeps going.
- [23:23]
B
It just keeps going. And that is the mark of a really, really good one word theme, is that it has multiple layers of meaning and can be invoked in many different contexts. So well done, Elizabeth. It was worth the wait.
- [23:34]
A
Okay, Gretch, so What is your 2026 word?
- [23:38]
B
Okay, so this year I debated. I had two words that I really wanted to. I was really debating. So the first one, and I kind of think this is what I'm gonna pick next year. So, okay, this is maybe foreshadowing, but Flower. Ever since I wrote Life in Five Senses, I've realized how much I love flowers. They are beautiful. There's scent, which, you know, I love, the sense of smell. There's sight. It's nature. It's beautiful. I love fake flowers. I love real flowers. Should I have flower or flowers? And that I thought flower, because then it can be a noun and a verb, and I wanna grow and flourish and be beautiful and all these things. And I love that word, but it's not the word I chose. I picked the word neighbor.
- [24:23]
A
I love it.
- [24:23]
B
Yeah. And this was a word. And I'd forgotten this, except I was reviewing my one word themes and my annual lists. I was looking back through them and I realized that in 2024, this was a theme that I added in along the way. And so clearly it's been in my mind for a long time. But I feel like neighbor is what is called for now. I feel like the energy and focus that I want to put out into the world is neighbor. So I've picked neighbor.
- [24:53]
A
I like that, Gretchen. It's very transcendent and it's profound.
- [24:57]
B
The thing is, it's also. I'm kind of like, it's going to be a lot of work because one of the things that I want to do is I want to be more neighborly in my neighborhood. Talk to people in my neighborhood. Like when I'm out walking my dogs. Not just saying like, oh, hi, but really try to connect, remember their dog's name. I always act like, oh, these people are never going to show up again. I'm like, yes, they are. They live in my neighborhood and they walk a dog in the morning just like I do. Or when I'm in a store or I'm at a conference, really try to engage with people. I do tend to withdraw, kind of like in my own world. I think I'm an extroverted person, but I'm not super outgoing in a neighborly way. And yet I know that it would make me happier. All the research suggests that being close to your neighbors makes you happier. Having positive encounters is energizing for introverts and extroverts alike. So having these little moments, and then also it ties into my idea of culture. You know, how I've had all these aims about my 30 days of culture and wanting to go to the museum every day, but really a big thing of culture is just trying to be interested in how other people see the world and having that expressed in an elevated and deliberate way. And so for me, neighbor is also availing myself of that so that I do see the world through other people's eyes and I am experiencing other people's perceptions, insights, observations. I want to connect with my actual neighbors and my friends. I want to be friendlier and more open to strangers. I want to open myself up to the world to be more willing to tolerate disagreement, more open to other people's views. Love your neighbor as yourself. I really want to have that energy. I really want to go neighbor.
- [26:43]
A
I think what's interesting about that, Gretchen, is that a neighbor is someone who you connect with sort of on a human level. Right. Your neighbors on your block.
- [26:51]
B
Yes.
- [26:51]
A
What you have in common is that you're humans living on this block together.
- [26:55]
B
Yes.
- [26:56]
A
But you can still keep each other's keys and bring each other casseroles. So I love that, that as the.
- [27:02]
B
Holidays get closer, I always start thinking about ways to give gifts that feel really personal, things that connect to memories or shared experiences. And that is why I love using Shutterfly. It's such a simple way to take the photos. We already have all those great moments sitting on our phones and turn them into something lasting and meaningful. One of my favorite holiday traditions actually involves Shutterfly. Just about every year, I make custom photo mugs for my parents. It's become something we all look forward to. In my family. We drink a lot of coffee, so mugs are always welcome. I choose photos that capture special moments from the past 12 months. And it's always fun to look back and see how much has changed. It's such an easy gift to make, and it really brings joy every time. Every time I go home to Kansas City, we're all constantly using the mugs from across the years, so it's fun to see them still in rotation and be reminded of all the happy times we've shared. Also, as my sister Elizabeth often points out, any gift that has been personalized or customized feels especially thoughtful and meaningful. Now I also use Shutterfly to create photo books, which ties into one of my favorite happiness aims to be a storehouse of happy memories. Every year I make a yearly list tied to the year. So for example, in 2025 I made a list of 25 things I wanted to get done in 2025. Every year on this list I include the item make photo albums and this will be the very first thing I add to my 26 for 26 list. Around the holidays each year, I go through the pictures on my phone and pick my favorites to put into photo books. I always have so many photos that I make multiple books. It's like a mini reflection exercise, a way to celebrate all the little moments that made the year special. I use these books as a kind of family diary of the places we went and the things we did. My daughters will often pull out one of our many photo books at random and pour over the photos from the previous years. It's always fun to scroll through the photos of the previous year and be reminded of all our adventures. This past year will feature a lot of photos of our new puppy, Taffy. The reading retreat that I took with my sister Elizabeth this summer. A family vacation to Croatia with my in laws. I'm always surprised to see just how much happens in a year. I don't have a great memory, so it makes me very happy to memorialize everything in a photo album so I don't forget about the things that have happened. And Shutterfly makes it so simple. I always use their Autofill feature which arranges your photos automatically. But it's also easy to make changes if you want. So in just a few minutes you can create something beautiful. Something you'll actually look through again and again. I have dozens, dozens of these photo books. That's what I love about Shutterfly. It helps you make gifs that mean something. Whether it's a mug, a photo book, or even a holiday ornament, these aren't just things you buy. They're memories you can hold. And for grandparents, friends, or anyone you want to feel close to, a photo gift is always such a heartfelt surprise. So if you are looking for a way to make your holiday gifts much more meaningful this year, Shutterfly makes it easy to create something special from the photos you already love. Make something that means something this holiday shop shutterfly.com happier and start customizing today. Right now, you'll get free shipping on your order with promo code Happier. This promo can be stacked with any other offer. Details are on the site. That's shutterfly.com happier promo code happier. Because the best gifts don't just mark the season. They celebrate the moments that make us happiest. But so, okay, here's this idea. Side note, this is an idea where I wish I could just make this happen, because I love this idea so much. So here's my idea, and I feel like it's very neighbor. So we are coming up on the 250th anniversary of the United States. And if I were the boss of the world, what I would do is I would have a celebration of states. And so every month or however often a different state would take a turn, and there would be a celebration of that, and there would be a huge gathering where the celebrities of that state, they would perform or readers would read, singers would sing, actors would perform something. So many states have, like, a song that everybody in the country loves, like Sweet Home Alabama or whatever. We'd talk about their cuisine, and maybe there'd be, like, a documentary that would be shown that would be, like, highlights from their history and cool tourist things to do. Who knew that you could do this in Missouri, Nebraska? It's not for everyone or whatever it might be, because I think there's so much in the states that we don't even know about in the United States. And it would get everybody really excited to travel and experience different states. We'd all learn about our history as the United States. We would all feel closer because we would all know more about other states. I would just love the neighborhood of states to feel more energized. That is, my dream is to be the emcee of that, where you're just, come on down, North Dakota. It's your chance to shine. And for a month, we'll just be like, wow, who knew there was so much cool about North Dakota?
- [32:39]
A
Yes, every state is glorious in its own way.
- [32:41]
B
Every state is glorious in its own way. Betula says, what should my visual be for neighbor?
- [32:47]
A
Of course, the first thing one thinks of is Mr. Rogers.
- [32:50]
B
Mr. Rogers, because he says, won't you be my neighbor? Which is a beautiful theme. Question, won't you be my neighbor? So in a way, that's what I'm saying to the world, won't you be my neighbor? But also, I need to be the Mr. Rogers who is inviting that.
- [33:04]
A
So with Mr. Rogers, if you were using Mr. Rogers as your inspiration rather than Mr. Rogers himself, you could use A cardigan. He has an iconic cardigan. Or the trolley. He has the trolley that would come through every episode. And a trolley is a very neighborly.
- [33:23]
B
It is a very neighborly thing. That's good. That's not an obvious symbol for neighbors. So that's interesting. Okay. I was thinking about Mr. Rogers. So that got me thinking about Sesame Street. And if you remember the song of Sesame street, it goes, come and play. Everything's a. Okay. Friendly neighbors there. That's where we meet. Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? So there's the Sesame street neighbors. Okay. But here's another symbol, very different. A cup of sugar. Because I think of when you say, keep your keys, that's a thing neighbors do. But you also say, would you borrow a cup of sugar? And there's that great Outkast song, hey Ya, which I love. One of the lines is, lend me some sugar. I am your neighbor. I've been looking for all these incidences of neighbors. So I do think that cup of sugar is interesting. But again, you're not gonna have a ring that has a cup of sugar. You're not gonna get a T shirt that has a cup of sugar. That's not very good.
- [34:18]
A
Right?
- [34:19]
B
Yeah.
- [34:19]
A
You also were thinking about a welcome mat.
- [34:22]
B
Maybe a welcome mat is good. Now you're not gonna get a welcome mat T shirt, but I could literally get a welcome mat that says welcome. Yes, that would be good. I could get a dollhouse welcome mat and put it on my. The shelf by my desk. There's something kind of interesting about that. And what I like about welcome mat is it ties to door.
- [34:42]
A
Yes, it does. Perfect transition.
- [34:45]
B
People are saying, you don't wanna be a doormat. So I'm not a doormat. It's a welcome, Matt. Very different. But then another thing that I was thinking about, neighbor is so Giving Tuesday is an organization that I love. And the whole idea of Giving Tuesday is there's Black Friday, there's Cyber Monday, and these are all about spending and buying. But Giving Tuesday is a day where you think about, where are you going to give? Because something that can happen at any time often happens at no time. So let's pick a date. It's Giving Tuesday, this year's December 2nd. And so I was thinking, for Giving Tuesday, what would I give to that would be the most neighborly? What is the neighborly organization? So I was thinking maybe a food bank maybe. That's kind of like the cup of sugar idea. You think of neighbors like the New York Common Pantry or Something. But that was a good idea of how do you make a decision based on your one word theme? Right, right. If my theme is neighbor, I would make a different decision than if my theme were something like book. Then I would be like, no, I'll give to the New York Public Library or whatever. So I thought that was a fun thing.
- [35:48]
A
Yes. So you're still settling on your symbol? Sounds like.
- [35:53]
B
Yeah. But I'm thinking maybe a welcome mat. That might be the best because it ties to door. But I do like the way yours lends itself to the mug T shirt jewelry. So I'm going to keep thinking. Anyway, listeners, if you have any idea how would you turn neighbor into a visual symbol? Now listen, you and Sarah, you mentioned you had your team theme of flower and hive 2020. What was it?
- [36:17]
A
Flower and fly, 2025. And then we bee was our symbol and then we would have a hive 25.
- [36:24]
B
Yes. Which was when we would get together.
- [36:26]
A
And work for a day.
- [36:28]
B
That's right.
- [36:28]
A
And again, I think we'll keep the term hive25 because we love it.
- [36:32]
B
Sure. Yeah.
- [36:33]
A
Stay tuned. We'll be talking about our theme for 2026 on Happier in Hollywood. And how about you, Gretchen, does your team have a theme?
- [36:42]
B
Yes, our team theme is distill. So distill is to extract the essential meaning or most important aspects of something. And that relates to a lot of things that we're gonna do in 2026. So that turns out to be a really helpful team theme for us. And when I think of distill, I think of like a beaker, like a very old fashioned beaker with drops of clear liquid just dropping in, drip, drip, drip, with only the essence of something. And so I feel like that's distill. I like that word.
- [37:14]
A
There's an efficiency ele element to the word distill.
- [37:18]
B
Yes, there's an efficiency element. So let us know if you do try this at home and how choosing a one word theme works for you. What did you choose last year? How did it work for you? What are you choosing for this year? We cannot get enough love to hear these words. People come up with the most imaginative terms and I think it really gets people's imaginations firing to hear what other people have chosen. And by the way, it's completely fine to use someone else's theme as your own theme. That is absolutely permitted. Let us know on Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook. Drop us an email@podcastretchenrubin.com or as always, you can go to the show notes this is happiercast.com563 for everything related to this episode.
- [37:59]
A
All right, Gretch, coming up, we've got a New Year's Eve hack. But first, this break Foreign. Are you a trailblazer, a risk taker? Someone with countless tales of epic adventure? Well, I'm not quite there yet, but I'm working on it. Even the boldest among us started small, daring themselves to reach greater goals each day. If you're looking to take on a challenge like that, the Defender is too. It's a vehicle built for those capable of great things. Whether you're charting new territory or just escaping the city for the weekend.
- [38:41]
B
The Defender engineered to meet challenges head on so you can explore with confidence. An icon reimagined designed for a new generation of explorers. Choose from the Defender 90, 110 or 130 seating, up to eight adventurers with a tough, tested exterior, a modern and functional interior, and intelligent tech like 3D surround cameras and the Pivi Pro infotainment system. Every journey feels limitless. Because like you, the Defender is capable of great things. Build your Defender today@landroverusa.com the holidays are.
- [39:16]
A
Such a joyful time, but let's be honest, they can also be a lot. There's so much to cook, so much to clean, and unfortunately, so much food waste.
- [39:25]
B
You know, we're always thinking about the small things we can do that make an impact not just for our own happiness, but for the planet too. And that's why I'm such a big fan of my mill. Food recycling mill is odorless and fully automated, eliminating all the pain points associated with old fashioned compost pails and smelly garbage cans. It makes keeping food out of the trash as easy as dropping it in. It can be hectic in my home or on the holidays, but mill keeps me keeping my cool when I'm hosting. With all the food prep and guests arriving, I never have to stress about the trash. Plus it looks super cool and modern in my kitchen.
- [40:01]
A
Add mill to your wish list or gift one now get up to $200 off during their biggest sale of the season. Thursday, November 20th through Monday, December 1st. Miss the sale. You can still get $75 off with code happy. Visit mill.com happy that's mill.com h a p p y There is one thing that all people on Earth have in common. We move through the world in a human body. Bodies ache. They bleed. They desire. They hold the stories of our lives.
- [40:35]
B
International Planned Parenthood Federation, or ippf, is sharing some of those stories from around the world. Read them now@ippf.org everybody.
- [40:47]
A
Gretchen, it is the season of gifts. And you know I love personalized gifts. Yes. And you have been using Shutterfly many times a year for many years. And I am planning this year to make Adam a Shutterfly book of just pictures of him and Jack through the years. Shutterfly lets you easily create meaningful gifts from photos you already have. Whether it's a photo book, which is what I'm going to do, a blanket, or even an ornament. It's such a thoughtful way to connect with people you love during the holidays.
- [41:22]
B
Holidays, Yes. I often find myself making mugs, custom mugs. But there's so many things you can make. You can make something that means something. This holiday shop, shutterfly.com happier for gifts like custom mugs, photo books, calendars, blankets, and tabletop prints. Right now, you'll get free shipping on your order with promo code. Happier. This promo can be stacked with any other offer. Details are on the site. Okay, this hat comes from our listener, Misty. And there's a lot of people who don't enjoy a traditional New Year's Eve. And she. She has a different way to approach it. That sounds like a lot of fun.
- [41:57]
A
Yeah, she said. Hey, y'. All. I was just listening to the episode about different reasons to throw a party. I'm not much of a party thrower. I am a bit of a homebody and an introvert. But every year for New Year's, I get two or three of my closest friends together. We draw tarot cards for the upcoming year, one for each month and one card as the theme of the year. And then we review our cards from the year before. We spend time talking about our goals, our struggles and achievements. I make a huge pot of from scratch beef stew, and we drink wine and just celebrate the turning of a new year. Even though there are only a few people, it still feels like a party because it's a tradition we've done for several years in a row. Well, Gretchen, I would love to spend my New Year's Eve this way.
- [42:43]
B
Yes, we had said that it took eight people to be a party, but I think maybe you don't need eight people. It's more like the party spirit is the party spirit. And I think this sounds like so much fun. I love the tradition, and it's a great way to look back, look forward, which is such a great way to head into the new year.
- [42:59]
A
Yes, Misty, we love it.
- [43:01]
B
And now for demerits and gold stars.
- [43:04]
A
Gretch, it's your Turn this week for happiness demerit.
- [43:07]
B
Okay, so this is a demerit that I've given to myself before, but I have to give it to myself again so that I remember not to do it. So I was in bed and I had a thought of something really important and I was like, oh, this is a really important, useful idea. It's so important and so useful that there's no way I'll forget it. And Elizabeth, you can guess what happened.
- [43:29]
A
You forgot.
- [43:31]
B
I forgot it. I distinctly remembered having the thought, oh, this is so important that I won't forget it. And then I forgot it. And so my demerit is that I didn't write it down. And Elizabeth, one of the things that you happiness bullied me into was watching Mad Men and you said it was great and that I would love it. And you were 1,000% correct. I love, love, love Mad Men. And there is an amazing scene in Mad Men I' where the character Paul Kinsey forgets to write something down and a whole scene comes. It's about an ad campaign that they're trying to do for Western Union Telegram. It's amazing. So I'll put that link in the show notes. But it's a good reminder. There is no idea that is so big that you will not forget it. That is just the truth.
- [44:15]
A
Yes. True, true lesson I learn over and over again.
- [44:19]
B
Oh, yeah. So, Elizabeth, take us up. What's your gold star?
- [44:21]
A
Okay. I am giving my gold star to a television show. It is to Squid Game The Challenge Season 2 on Netflix. Gretch, you know, I love a good reality competition like Survivor.
- [44:35]
B
Yeah.
- [44:35]
A
I thought, how could they come up with something totally different and fresh and new? But that's compelling and great characters. Will Squid Game the Challenge season two. I haven't seen season one. I will see it. It is absolutely fantastic. It is based on, as you might guess, the drama show Squid Game. It is adults vying for over $4 million.
- [45:03]
B
Whoa.
- [45:03]
A
Playing games similar to what they play in Squid Game. Instead of being killed, they are shot with a paintball. And it is just edge of your seat, yelling at the tv, loving the people, hiding your eyes. Binge worthy. It's fantastic.
- [45:24]
B
Oh, my gosh. You've gotten me wanting to watch it and I don't usually like that kind of show, but it sounds so good.
- [45:29]
A
It's great. I love it. So if you're looking for something over the holidays to watch with the family, this is super fun.
- [45:36]
B
Excellent. Well, the resource for this week, if you are still searching for the right gifts to give to the people in your life. If you take 10 minutes and go through my new Gift Idea Generator worksheet, there's a few prompts and you will come away with some real personal ideas tailored to each recipient. And if you need more help, there are five gift guides and the gift appreciation quiz@happiercast.com giftgiving. Lots of ideas and guidance there. Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading?
- [46:05]
A
I am right now just keeping up with my daily War and Peace reading by Leo Tolstoy.
- [46:11]
B
And I am reading Lake Effect by Cynthia Dupree Sweeney. And that's it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Choose your one word theme for the year. Let us know what you picked. We want to know.
- [46:26]
A
Thanks to our executive producer Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada.
- [46:30]
B
And here's your rhyming reminder. And we really mean it very sincerely. If you're a fan of the podcast, review it fast. It really helps other people discover the show.
- [46:39]
A
Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Craft.
- [46:41]
B
And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward, Elizabeth. One of the things that I think about X rays is all the like funny X rays where it's like a dog's stomach with a Christmas ornament in it or whatever. There's a lot of sort of comical things with X rays. I feel like there's a lot of New Yorker cartoons with X ray jokes. I bet that you're going to find a ton of material about X rays.
- [47:15]
A
Yes. Or a lot of Gary Larson cartoons.
- [47:18]
B
We got to look up the Gary Larson X ray. I'm confident there's a Gary Larson cartoon. Yes. From the Onward project.
- [47:34]
A
Hi Gretchen, Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here. We host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you. You know, Gretchen, a lot of our.
- [47:50]
B
Listeners are going through some major life changes.
- [47:54]
A
What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?
- [48:01]
B
Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier. With greater self knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Wherever you get podcasts, you can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships Keke Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success us Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.