A (3:03)

Yay hey. So fun. Yes. So today we will talk about some of the big moments from the previous year, some of our favorite ideas. But first, a few updates.

B (3:15)

Yes, this comes from Cindy. She says, love that, neighbor is your word of the year. My phrase is blue China, derived from Oscar Wilde's quote, I find it harder and harder every day to live up to my blue china. Wilde was referring to how difficult it is to make our inner worlds match the aesthetic beauty of the external, and that when you elevate one area of your life, it can be easy to feel shabby about the parts that are left the same. I chose blue China for 2026 to remind me to strive to be more generous, stronger, smarter, and mindful of all the areas of my life that should be attended to.

A (3:52)

Now, I really loved Cindy's choice because this quotation from Oscar Wilde has haunted me. Like, of course, I love aphorisms. And Oscar Wilde is one of the most famous aphorists in English. And this line that he wrote in a letter when he was an undergraduate, it caused a sensation at the time, and I think it's very mysterious. And I've often thought, like, what did he mean by that? And I think Cindy's explanation of what he meant is so profound. I thought this was a very imaginative way to pick a theme for the year. So I love that.

B (4:24)

Yes. And what a fun visual she can have, too.

A (4:27)

Oh, exactly. Yeah. And one remarkable reminder. Determination Day is coming up on February 28th. Of course, it's called Determination Day, not Discouragement Day, because we are reframing that day. Research shows that by the end of February, most people have abandoned their New Year's resolution. So Determination Day is a day to start again. And if you are tackling a big project and you are feeling stuck, check out my new Audible original project. It's called Get It Done. And it has lots of practical strategies for getting things actually done. How you. You break it into steps. You keep your momentum going. If you go to audible.com getitdone, you can find it there.

B (5:08)

Yes, Gretch, we just got a letter from someone who said, get it Done helped her finish a project.

A (5:14)

Yes, I know. I was so gratified by that. So let's just. Let's jump into our reflections of the previous year. I don't know if you thought about this, but it turns out that the 11th anniversary is the steel anniversary. I always love all the. What would you call them? The wood, the paper? What are they? They're the materials. Symbols, the materials associated with it. So I thought, oh, well, you know, maybe to symbolize the strength of our relationship was that I give you, like, a steel spinning top, or then I thought, well, maybe I'd get you a steel knife. But, you know, I'm sure you know that there's a superstition that you should never give knives as a gift because they cut your bond. Yes. If you give someone a knife, you're supposed to have them pay you a penny. So technically, they're paying for the knife instead of you giving the knife as a gift, because otherwise, that can sever your ties. But it's not spent February, so I didn't get you anything.

B (6:06)

Well, that's okay. I didn't get you anything either.

A (6:08)

Okay, good, good, good.

B (6:09)

It's the thought that counts. But happy anniversary.

A (6:13)

Yeah. Happy steel anniversary. Yes. Yeah.

B (6:15)

Gretch. I remember where I was when our first episode went live, because I was in Hawaii on vacation with Jack and Adam, and I remember checking the downloads and seeing at one point there were 12 downloads and just being absolutely thrilled and never did. Oh, 11 years from now, we'll be recording well into the 500 of our episodes.

A (6:42)

One thing that we brag about all the time, or at least I brag about all the time, listen, is that we've never taken a break. Like, we've had, you know, an original episode every week, but truthfully, it didn't occur to us. I think we were, like, in year two, year three, before somebody said, like, oh, well, what do you guys do when you take a vacation or something? And we were like, oh, can you do that? I mean, and we knew that other podcasts do that, but how is it that it didn't occur to us that we could do that?

B (7:06)

Well, I think podcasts were so new at that point. We just went with what made sense to us. But now it would feel like such a bad superstition to take a break.

A (7:18)

Oh, yeah.

B (7:18)

Even when dad was so sick.

A (7:21)

Yes.

B (7:21)

We did not take a break, Right.

A (7:23)

No, we figured out a way to do it ahead of time. But this is the power of the streak, which, of course, comes up all the time with habit formation, is that once you have a streak going, the streak itself is a powerful form of accountability. You really feel like you want to keep that streak, you want to uphold that streak, and that is definitely the truth for us. But I do remember. So now we do the More Happiers, which is like, you know, we do a couple of those every month, and we have the revisiteds, and with the More Happiers, it's looser it's less structured. Not everything has a point. So it's all supposed to be interesting. Do you remember the first time I had this idea? I was like, let's do it unplugged. Let's do one that's just like us on the phone. No ads. Like you're behind the scenes on Substack where you and Sarah are just truly talking the way you would if no one else was was in the audience. But it took us like nine months to do it because they had planned out the ads and everything so far in advance because we had never taken a break like that before. So that was funny. I was like, oh, wow, we really are on a schedule. Yeah. We're part of the systems. And that was interesting to realize that.

B (8:24)

Yeah, we should do another one of those episodes. That was fun.

A (8:27)

That was. Well, I think sometimes we do it now with the voice memos. That's kind of how we've morphed into it.

B (8:32)

Yes.

A (8:33)

Yeah. And those just throw in. Yeah. It is funny how we have our own little trends that we do. We. You know what we're overdue for is a decks episode to clear the decks coming up. Yes, we gotta do some decks. Yep.

B (8:48)

All right, Gretch. Coming up, we are going to talk about some of our favorite discussions from this year. But first, this break. With so many options for weight loss treatment plans, it can be hard to know what's the best choice, who to trust, what to know about side effects and if something is even going to work. That's why weight loss by hers really stands out. Through hers, you're connected with a medical provider who determines if treatment is right for you. And if prescribed, your plan is personalized to support you in reaching your goals. You can access a range of treatment options like oral medication kits or GLP1 injectables, plus ongoing care, dosage adjustments, lifestyle and nutrition tips, and 247 support.

A (9:40)

Feel like your best self again? Visit fourhers.com Happier to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you. That's f o r h E-R-S.com happier fourhers.com happier weight loss by hers is not available everywhere. Compounded drug products are not approved or evaluated for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda. Prescription required. See website for full details, important safety information and restrictions. Actual price depends on product and plan purchased this year. I'm all about not missing opportunities. And that starts with not missing calls. Because a missed call is money out the door. That's why today's episode is brought to you by quo spelled Q u o the Smarter Way quote lets you and your team share one business number so everyone can handle calls and texts in one place. No more missed messages or disconnected conversations. Everyone sees the full thread, which makes replies faster and customers feel genuinely cared for. It works wherever you are, right from an app on your phone or a computer, and you can keep your existing number. You can add teammates in minutes and sync your CRM as you grow.

B (10:46)

Make this the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try quo for free plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com happier that's q u-o.com happier quo no missed calls, no missed customers you know Elizabeth, I'm in the

A (11:09)

empty nest phase, which I'm also calling the open door phase. And I've talked to people a lot about that empty nest transition. And one thing that is a challenge for many people is healthy eating. When the kids are gone, it's easy to slip into really bad habits, and that's why hungryroot is such a great solution. Hungryroot takes care of the weekly meal planning, recommending healthy recipes tailored to your taste, nutrition preferences and health goals. Hungryroot makes it simple to eat healthier without overthinking it. One of my big things is that I don't eat sugar, and they have an option with less sugar.

B (11:43)

Most resolutions die within a few weeks of the new year, but hungryroot makes eating healthier so easy that you can seriously stay on track with your health goals or new diet past January. Take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time, get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for Life. Go to hungryroot.com gretchenrubin and use code gretchenruben. That's hungryroot.com gretchenRubin Code gretchenrubin to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

A (12:18)

We're back celebrating our 11th anniversary, and by far the overwhelming most important event in our life for the past year was the death of our father in December. And it was a real solace to talk about him, to hear from so many listeners about what they'd learned from him. In episode 570, we shared a lot of the advice and insights that listeners sent to us and that we had discovered ourselves or that people had told us. That was a very meaningful episode, don't you think?

B (12:51)

Oh yeah. And it's not an episode we wanted to have, but given the state that we've been in, it was so necessary and Valuable and really moving as well.

A (13:02)

Yes. Well, as we talked about, we with our mother spent a lot of time working on the obituary for our father, which ended up being sort of a. More like a eulogy. It was very long and personal. And we got this lovely note from our listener, Christina, because I read that obituary as a little happier episode for anybody who wanted to hear the whole thing. Christina wrote, I have just listened to your beautiful obituary for your father while making my morning coffee and juggling my eight month old baby. I have never found an obituary all that moving. So often they just read like a resume. So I just pressed play without thinking much of it. To my great surprise, by the end, streaming tears had turned to sobs as I cradled my beloved child to my chest. What a beautiful picture you painted. What a wonderful man you described. One who felt so real to a stranger on the other side of the country. What a loss and what a legacy. I don't have the best relationship with my parents, so I couldn't help but imagine what my new son will think of me throughout our years together and what he would write one day when I am gone. I wanted to thank you for giving me something to aspire to. And I thought it might mean something to know that the words you so carefully crafted have landed here far away, like traveling sparks landing on timber. While I'm sure the flare of intense emotions will fade, I believe the embers will stay with me as I navigate my own path through parenthood. Your father, though unknown to me, will stand as an emblem of the best of what a parent can be. What a legacy, as you put it, to feel myself beloved on this earth. Well, that is just so moving to both of us.

B (14:37)

Yes. And so beautifully said. I love the embers on a timber. And it means so much to us that others can feel Dad's energy.

A (14:48)

Yes, his energy. Yes. He talked a lot about.

B (14:50)

He likes to talk about energy.

A (14:51)

He talked about energy. Yes. That his energy, like, reached people who never even met him in person. Yeah.

B (14:57)

Well, Gretch. And then in happier news, we got a lot of response to our discussion about your new puppy, Taffy, whether you should get that second dog and the atmosphere of growth. And you did get Taffy.

A (15:11)

Yes, she arrived in April. We got many suggestions from listeners. Elizabeth, of course, you were my main inspiration because when you got your second dog, you were so happy that I thought you got a second dog. And then I started thinking, well, maybe we could get a second dog. So, yes, Taffy has made us very happy.

B (15:27)

Yes, of course, we forgot that I can just let our dogs out in the backyard and you have to walk them every single time.

A (15:35)

Yes. I did kind of overlook that. But she's worth it.

B (15:39)

She's worth it.

A (15:40)

One thing that kept coming up over and over throughout the year, and actually I saw that it had trended on Google Trends, was whimsy. We've talked about whimsy throughout the year, but now I think we want more whimsy than ever before. Yes.

B (15:52)

Like, we talked about renting a cotton candy machine, choosing your derby name, which always cracks me up.

A (15:58)

Yeah.

B (15:59)

And in fact, we did a very special episode, 5:40 on adding whimsy to our lives.

A (16:04)

Yeah. That was very fun. You're Lightning Lizzie.

B (16:08)

Yes. And you're the Arrow. Right.

A (16:09)

I know. We gotta do more with those derby names, Elizabeth. That's whimsy that we haven't exploited to the full.

B (16:14)

Yeah. You know, there's some words that people like and don't like, and I think whimsy is a word that people like.

A (16:21)

Absolutely. Well, I think another big theme, and I hadn't really focused on what a theme this was until I had reviewed the year, which is connecting with Friends. Again, this is a major element of a happy life. We talk about friends every year. But it felt like this year it kept coming up and we had all sorts of different ways for getting at it. One was raise your hand, meaning acknowledge that if something's going to happen, you have to be the one to do it, to put together the group or to move a process forward. And that it's. It's a lot of work, but that it's worth it.

B (16:53)

Yes. We also talked about starting a stamstisch,

A (16:57)

which we can't say, never pronounced.

B (16:59)

German word.

A (17:00)

Yeah.

B (17:00)

Which is. It's a German word and it means to have, like, a regular gathering that you can just show up to. You don't have to rsvp.

A (17:09)

Yeah. It's like a happy hour at a bar or. Yeah, it's a regulars meeting. Yes. We talked about the value of having a party because you and I, we're always trying to get ourselves to entertain more. This is like.

B (17:19)

Yes. It's an ongoing.

A (17:21)

We know that. We love it. We're always happy. We did it. But then flipping it on the other side. We talked about the importance of Bewaring, the impulse to disengage that sometimes when things feel hard or you feel overwhelmed, we just want to stay home, sit on the sofa, binge, watch doom scroll. And that can feel, in the moment, sort of restorative or I need to take some time for myself or I don't want to. I'm too exhausted to put myself out there. But what the research shows, and I think you and I both find over and over, is that it's when you put yourself out there, that's when you get the energy that comes from engagement.

B (17:59)

Yes. I'm so glad we talked about that. And I have to remind myself because it is very tempting to just sit on the couch.

A (18:06)

All of these. We need to remind ourselves as much as every. This is a good review. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good point.

B (18:13)

And then of course, Gretch, every year we do design your year, which is one of our favorite elements of the podcast.

A (18:20)

Yeah, love Design youn Year. This year, my word was door because I'm in the open door period. Because that's my alternative to the empty nest. Because nobody likes the phrase empty nest. Love door.

B (18:31)

And mine was bounce because I wanted to sort of bounce into the future and rebound. And I had a kangaroo for my symbol, which is one of my favorite symbols I've had.

A (18:42)

Yeah, you're really good at picking one word themes and symbols. Elizabeth, I think the reading challenge this year was to read 26 and 26. This was so great. And a highlight was the reading retreat. How had we not thought of this before, Elizabeth? I do not know. We are a two person reading retreat. We just took ourselves someplace and. And read all day and it was amazing.

B (19:05)

Yes. And now we have the concept of same day books.

A (19:08)

Now that was so fun. And people love the idea of a same day book. And now I know I look at books in a different way. Cause I'm like same day book, not same day book. And I liked your helpful breaking it into two categories. One, it's the same day book because it's short. The other is the same day book because it's just so page turning that you literally don't do anything else until you finish the book. And then sometimes they're both, which is even better.

B (19:29)

And of course, we did our slow read of War and Peace. Simon Hazel does Footnotes and Tangents, which is a series of slow reads. We did War and Peace and it was especially meaningful to us, Gretchen, because I think it is one of kind of the last activities, I guess you'd say we did with dad. And so I think it really meant even more to us than it would have.

A (19:52)

Yeah, we all talked about War and Peace like it was a TV show.

B (19:55)

Yeah.

A (19:56)

You know, because the thing about it is you read at the same pace too. So we were always more or Less at the same place. Yeah. That was very gratifying. Elizabeth, you're doing Wolf hall this year too, with Simon Hazel. Yeah. We'll put a link to footnotes and tangents in the show notes if that appeals to you. And, Elizabeth, I am doing much better at not finishing books. This is something that I've been working on for years. I always meant to not finish a book if I didn't like it, but I found it very hard actually to put a book down. And now I'm doing it much faster and I love it.

B (20:27)

That's so good because now you have more time to read more books that you want to read.

A (20:32)

Yeah, exactly. I knew all along was the case, but somehow I just.

B (20:35)

Of course.

A (20:35)

And then it's always fun to reflect on last year. We, you know, every year we make the list and it's always fun to reflect on the previous list, our 25 for 25 list, and then to come up with our 26 for 26 list. I don't think I've crossed anything off my 26 list still. But I'm making some progress. How about you, Eliza?

B (20:53)

I'm making some progress. Yeah. I think maybe a few things I'd have to look. I definitely am almost done with Mad Men.

A (21:00)

Oh, yeah.

B (21:01)

Which I thought would take the whole year, but of course, once I started rewatching it.

A (21:05)

So good. I wish I were rewatching it with you. And then along with Design youn Year, we have Design youn Summer. That was episode 486. That's always fun. Is really focusing in on it. That season feels different from the rest of the year to a lot of people. So it's fun to design your summer.

B (21:18)

And then of course, Gretchen, we had the theme of the Four Tendencies, which we talked about at least once every week, if not multiple.

A (21:27)

We had Understanding Obliger rebellion in episode 542 because that is a very common but a very mysterious phenomenon. Had a question, a questioner. That was a listener question from episode 556. I'm married to a questioner, so this is something that is of immense importance to me personally. And solving rebel resistance to something desirable in episode 548, that's something that rebels and people around rebels often have to navigate is is how to deal with rebel resistance. If you have no idea what we're talking about. This is the Four Tendencies framework. Take the quiz@gretchenrubin.com just go to my website and look for quiz. You'll find it and all will be revealed.

B (22:04)

Gretch. How many millions of people at this point have taken your quiz?

A (22:08)

Well, the last time I checked, it was three and a half million.

B (22:10)

Wow.

A (22:11)

But I haven't checked in a while, so I should check now. A lot of people. It's fast, it's free, it's fun. It will explain so much about yourself. Everybody take that quiz.

B (22:19)

Another thing we talked a lot about last year because of your phase of life is the empty nest.

A (22:26)

Yes, I am writing a book about the empty nest. If anybody has insights, observations, resources, questions, funny stories, hit me up. Email us@podcastretchenrubin.com because I'm in my phase of just gulping down anything that I can get. So we've talked about it some on the podcast, but I am still pushing forward a lot on that material, so. So I love hearing from listeners on that. And of course, we have to mention our favorite hacks. We love a hack. My favorite hack. Oh, my gosh. Is my wetsuit for swimming. This unlocked a whole world of water sports and water activities for me because I was always just so cold I couldn't bear to get wet. And finally it occurred to me, is there a way not to get cold when I'm wet? And yes, there's a whole category of product for that. And I love my wetsuit so much. One of my favorite things I've ever

B (23:18)

bought for myself, well, similar but different, Gretchen, is a gift that you gave to me, which is the heated throw blanket.

A (23:24)

Again, how did I not know that this thing existed?

B (23:27)

It's an electric blanket, but instead of, like going on your bed, it just goes over your lap on the sofa. And it's absolutely delightful. Not just physically, but mentally. It's comforting.

A (23:40)

Yes, it is. And it's very soft. I'll put a link to the one that I got. It's faux fur and it just feels good. It's not too heavy. I thought it might be really heavy. It's a really delightful thing.

B (23:50)

And then something I've talked a lot about is paddle lights. So finally, in a world of using zoom so much, instead of having a ring light, which causes rings in my glasses, I've switched to paddle lights, which are much better now. It is possible then to have the paddle reflected in your glasses, but it's much easier to deal with with. So I recommend these paddleites to everybody.

A (24:18)

Well, it's funny because you have struggled with this for years, ever since sort of we started using video more. This has been an issue for you, and it's such a relief that you have even a mostly Useful solution. One thing we talked about, and this is really fun, is to create a family. Family. And a family is the words, the vocabulary that a family develops that's just their own private language. And people really love this idea. Most families do have a famille, but maybe you didn't know that there was a word for it or people studied these. Familax.

B (24:49)

Yes. And then, Gretchen, episode 566, we talked about accountability hacks. So many of us need accountability and people have so many creative ways to create accountability.

A (25:00)

Again, listeners, I am collecting accountability. So if you have a website that you use, an app that you use, something funny that you do. I just heard about somebody who, if there's something important to do, they decide that they won't allow themselves to go to the bathroom room until they've done it. That's a form of accountability, right? Because it's like, okay, you've just got to get it done or you're just going to be sitting there with your legs crossed for the next week. Any way that you consistently hold yourself accountable so that you can meet outer expectations, please let me know. Because I want the ones that are the most popular, but also the ones that are the most ingenious. So let me know. And then we also had a lot of parenting hacks in 541, because nobody can ever have enough parenting hacks. There's just never enough enough.

B (25:41)

That is the truth. All right, Gretch. Coming up, we're going to talk about more highlights. But first, this break. Gretch, you know that I love quints. Quint is all about elevated essentials that feel effortless. It's designed for layering and mixing. Each piece helps build a timeless wardrobe made to last last. The Quint Mongolian cashmere sweaters are in my rotation almost daily. I've got black, I've got red, I've got white. I have crew neck, I have V neck. They are so soft and luxurious. I just want to have every single one.

A (26:26)

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B (27:05)

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A (27:30)

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B (28:05)

okay, Gretch, we're back. We're gonna talk about highlights for us of the year. Why don't you start us off here?

A (28:12)

Well, one I mentioned already and was the little happier episode where I read the obituary that you and I and our mother wrote for our father. That was very meaningful. I've listened to it many, many times. We've read it so many times now. I've listened to it so many times, Gretchen.

B (28:27)

You know, after Grandma Kraft died, I did a eulogy at her funeral and. And dad would listen to it over and over again and I was struck by it and I didn't understand it. Of course, now we understand that impulse so well.

A (28:44)

Yeah, no, it's a good example of how as time goes by, many things become clearer.

B (28:50)

Yes.

A (28:50)

In happier news, my book Secrets of Adulthood was published. I love Secrets of Adulthood. I love an aphorism. So super fun for me to have some time to. To put some of my favorite aphorisms out into the world and to talk about aphorisms with people. That was super fun.

B (29:05)

Yeah. Another definite highlight was talking to Liz Gilbert about her new book, all the Way to the river. That was episode 557. If you haven't read it, it is absolutely gripping.

A (29:17)

Yeah.

B (29:17)

Same day book for sure.

A (29:18)

Yeah, absolutely. My husband Jamie and I took our daughter Eleanor back to college for her sophomore year. So we did some college drop off hacks in episode 551. Again, empty nest related material, so keep it coming, Gretch.

B (29:31)

Another HAC highlight was you launched, since you asked, your podcast with Lori Gottlieb where you give advice. And we did a very special episode with Lori, number 560, and our topic was what secrets your therapists wish they could tell you.

A (29:47)

Yes.

B (29:47)

And that was so fun talking to Lori about. Cause she is a therapist.

A (29:52)

She is a therapist.

B (29:52)

Talking to her about therapist secrets, what's in their head.

A (29:55)

And it was super fun to launch since you asked that advice podcast. And, Elizabeth, you launched something too. You launched your substack in January, so it's been going now. And you sort of keep adding bells and whistles, it seems.

B (30:07)

Yes. Now we have, you know, slow reads, you know, inspired by Simon Hazel of writing books. We do a thing where Sarah and I go live on substack and just work as if nobody's there live. That's been really interesting. We also do the first five, where you can send us the first five pages of your script and we analyze them. We pick a script once a month. We have Zoom hangouts for speaking of accountability to get work done. So, yeah, we're really making it a whole community over there, Gretch, which. Your word this year is neighbor.

A (30:42)

Yes.

B (30:42)

And I think it's very neighborly there over on Substack.

A (30:46)

Yeah. Yeah, it's Liz and Sarah's neighborhood for sure. Exactly.

B (30:50)

So anyway, if anybody's interested, it's happier in Hollywood on substack.

A (30:54)

And then we got some listeners sent in their favorite moments from the previous year. And this one was from Abby. She wrote the one hard thing episode really rattled me in a good way. You were both so sincere and honestly loving in your approach. I have listened and re listened a few times, and one day will hopefully find the courage to tackle my one hard thing. Thank you for being patient with me. So this was very special episode 5:50, where we talked about sometimes to be happier, there's just one big thing that you need to do. One big, hard thing. And this was the episode where we talked about how to identify that and sort of ideas for getting started. And then in episode five, five eight, listeners shared the one hard thing that they had tackled and kind of what the consequences were. So that was good to hear that that resonated with Abby.

B (31:42)

Yes. And Susan said, I love your year list. I think it would be neat to hear you go back to the first year list that you two ever did and see how much your goals have changed since then. And Gretchen, we checked, and we've been doing these since 2018. So we started with 18 items in 2018. Now we're up to 26 items.

A (32:04)

But Elizabeth, I that this is a great idea. Maybe we should do this the next time we're together. Like I have all my lists in one place. We should just review them. I think that's it's kind of a look back, look forward. I mean, we could wait until 2028 and do it for the decade, but I kind of want to do it right away. I think it would be really interesting to see the patterns like what's been on it, what's fallen off, what we've completed and once we what we never did complete. I think that's a great idea.

B (32:27)

Yes, I'm sure as we talked about earlier, entertaining more would be probably there in 2018 routine for both of us

A (32:34)

and making photo albums. Meg said, I don't think this has been a topic for a while, but I constantly find your Moderator vs Abstainer framework useful and would love a deeper dive. Well, I love to talk about moderators versus Abstainers. This is the idea that for some people it's easier to give up a temptation altogether than to indulge in moderation. This is why Elizabeth had to declare herself free from french fries because she couldn't just have a few french fries. This is why I had to quit sugar because I had such a powerful sweet tooth. But then some people do very well having one square of fine chocolate or just a few french fries. So Meg, maybe we'll talk about that again soon. I love talking about moderators versus abstainers.

B (33:16)

Yes, Thessaly said. Oh, I really appreciated the episode about arriving just on time. And this was for introverts who perhaps, perhaps you feel self conscious about going into a party or something. Yep, she said. I've been so much better at arriving on time and it felt more like I belong in the room and at the start of a discussion rather than feeling even more awkward and anxious about trying to sneak my way into a conversation.

A (33:42)

Yeah, now this I feel like is a little bit counterintuitive, so it's good to hear. That was useful. Sue wrote your say yes to the Holidays episode in November. This phrase immediately clicked with me. I decided to enjoy the season intentionally rather than my usual habit of just floating through the holidays holidays making no real effort to enjoy them using your Deck the Halls bingo card. I had a ball exploring my favorite holiday movies, childhood treats, etc. Oh, that's so fun. We had so much fun making that bingo card.

B (34:09)

Trudy says Love anything about whimsy slash disproportionate joy and was very touched by all the comments and guidance about grief and she says congratulations. Here's to many more. So, yeah, there's that whimsy again, Gretchen, and, and the grief discussion.

A (34:26)

And disproportionate joy, which is actually something you and Sarah talk about. And happier in Hollywood, the idea that some things just give you disproportionate joy.

B (34:34)

Yes. And listeners will write in and tell us what's given them disproportionate joy.

A (34:39)

Yeah. Melanie said, I've been with y' all since the beginning. I love Happier so much. Thank you, ladies, for all your dedication. The days are long, but the years are short. I say it all the time and my husband now does too. Also that when you're looking for something, look really hard where you think the thing is. It has been so successful for me and others. It is bonkers how often this is true. And just if you have not heard this hack, if you cannot find something, go to the place where you think that thing should be. Like, you thought those keys should be in your backpack, but they're not there. Really, really, really look in your backpack. And a lot of times they're in your backpack. We just panic and start looking all over the house. So anyway, that's good to know. That hack works and it's so thank you for being with us since the beginning. That is so nice to hear.

B (35:26)

Yes. And finally, Muriel says, I love all the live segments. Live from Elizabeth's clutter clearing from the reading retreat or your recordings from England or when you did an episode that was recording how you plan an episode. That's what we were referring to earlier. And yeah, we love those off the cuff live segments.

A (35:45)

Yeah, those voice memos are really fun to do. Well, everybody, thank you for listening. This podcast is such an engine of happiness for you and me, Elizabeth. It's so wonderful to have all these people thinking and talking about happiness alongside us.

B (35:59)

Yes, it makes me happier every day.

A (36:01)

And if you would like to do something nice for us in honor of our 11th anniversary, no pressure, but if you give us five stars, that is a huge help. If you give us a review, that is also a huge help. Because when people look up a podcast, they often look to see the reviews and the ratings. Or even better, if you recommend the show to a friend, like if you would text it to a friend right this minute, that is a huge help. We've talked to so many people and it seems like that is how most people discover the show is through word of mouth.

B (36:32)

That's how I discover Podcasts.

A (36:34)

Yeah, me too. Now, at the end of every episode, I've sort of fallen into the habit of having a rhyming reminder. Maybe that's a little bit of whimsy. I don't remember how I started that, but Bonnie sent in this. She wrote, I was listening to Happier with Gretchen Rubin in the shower recently and ran out of podcasts before I ran out of hot water as Gretchen ended with a rhyming reminder, which started me thinking about what sort of rhyming reminder I could create. Here's what I came up with. Two sisters named Gretchen and Liz jumped into the podcasting biz. You don't know what you're missing. So give them a listen to find out what happiness is. How great is that?

B (37:10)

Thank you, Bonnie. I love that she writes.

A (37:13)

My sister, daughter, daughter in law and I have been doing our own joy and happiness project for the past few years and always enjoy going through our list of annual goals and discussing our one word theme. That's wonderful. Well, Bonnie, thank you for that.

B (37:25)

Yes. And finally, Gretchen, no demerit this week. Can't have a demerit on our 11th anniversary, but we have a huge gold star for our executive producer, Chuck Reed, who you know, has endless patience, is a perfectionist and a delight in every way.

A (37:47)

Yes. Yes. The corgis barking, the sirens going off, us saying like us saying our technical difficulties, technical difficulties. The microphones adjust themselves. We don't understand it.

B (37:59)

Not being able to find the link.

A (38:01)

Yes. Yes, Chuck. Thank you, Chuck.

B (38:05)

Yes, welcome. Thank you.

A (38:08)

And happy anniversary from other friend of the pod, Amanda.

B (38:12)

Thank you, Amanda.

A (38:13)

Thank you, Amanda.

B (38:14)

One of my best friends in the world.

A (38:16)

Yes. And thank you listeners. This is amazing. We love completists, all of you completists. Thank you for listening to every episode. People who have listened from the beginning. Even if you haven't listened to every episode. We love the people who were there from the beginning and we love the person who just started listening last week. You're never behind. Jump in where you are. There is no homework. Just listen as you want to. We give you so many gold stars for doing this with us.

B (38:42)

Yes.

A (38:43)

And the resource for this week on my substack. I have a substack newsletter too. It's called Secrets of Adulthood. I share my everyday observations that shape how we can make our lives happier. It's my observations about human nature. In March, I am so excited to announce I will be doing a month long exploration of color. This is my color pilgrimage. Not all of it, but part of it. Finally, I'M doing something with it. So this is an exclusive subscription for paid subscribers. You'll get a series of short essays about color, which is the most fascinating subject in the world. So if you have been thinking about subscribing or upgrading, this is a fun time. You can find out all about it if you go to secretsofadulthood.substack.com that is my substack. And of course, Elizabeth has her substack Happier in Hollywood. And Elizabeth, what are we reading?

B (39:31)

I am reading the All Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion by Fanny Flagg.

A (39:36)

And I am reading Homecoming by Cynthia Voight. And that's it for this episode of happier. It's episode 575. If you're looking for any of the links to anything that we talked about. Thank you for listening. Keep listening as we head into year 12. Elizabeth, I know need to look up. What's our material for year 12? I'm curious to know.

B (39:56)

Yes, thank you to our executive producer Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada.

A (40:01)

And here's another rhyming reminder. If you like the show, tell others you know.

B (40:05)

Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Craft.

A (40:07)

And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward, Elizabeth. I just looked it up and it Turns out the 12th anniversary is silk or linen. There feels like there's a lot of possibilities with silk or linen.

B (40:30)

Yes, a nice silk pillowcase.

A (40:33)

All right.

B (40:34)

Be a good gift.

A (40:34)

Okay, I'm making a note. From the Onward project.

B (40:46)

Hi, Gretchen. Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here. We host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you. You know, Gretchen, a lot of our

A (41:02)

listeners are going through some major life changes.

B (41:05)

What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?

A (41:13)

Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me? Me? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude, restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier with greater self knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Wherever your get podcast, you can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships Keke Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success success. Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.