Ep. 593: Ditch Your Storage Unit, Plus How to Start a New Tradition

Summary

Happier with Gretchen Rubin – Episode 593 Summary

Title: Ditch Your Storage Unit, Plus How to Start a New Tradition
Date: July 1, 2026
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin & Elizabeth Craft

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Main Theme / Purpose

Gretchen and Elizabeth discuss two main ways to boost happiness:

1. Making New Traditions (even though it sounds like an oxymoron): How to intentionally establish meaningful routines and rituals, particularly as life changes (empty nesters, shifting family circumstances, etc.).
2. Happiness Stumbling Block – Storage Units: The psychological and financial downsides of renting storage units, reasons people fall into the "storage unit trap," and strategies to avoid or escape it.

Listeners’ questions, practical happiness hacks, and listener feedback are also woven throughout the episode, keeping the conversation lively and grounded.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Listener Travel Hack

• [02:47] Listener Leah shares a hack: using the Atlas Obscura app to find offbeat and quirky attractions when traveling or being a tourist at home.
  • Elizabeth and Gretchen both love the idea, relating it to their own to-visit list, like LA's Museum of Jurassic Technology.

Try This at Home: Making a New Tradition

[05:10]–[13:14]

Gretchen’s 4th of July Tradition

• Gretchen has crafted a new and more intentional 4th of July tradition at her lake house to bring family together, especially as children get older.
  • Special elements:
    • Music: “Fourth of July music is Dolly Parton, Sousa marches, the Great American Songbook, and the soundtrack to Hamilton” (Gretchen, 06:41).
    • Food: Emphasis on classic grilled fare plus red, white, and blue foods (e.g., berries, s’mores, themed chips).
    • Decor & Vibes: Red, white & blue napkins, sparklers, and themed decor—Elizabeth nudges for more tablescapes and platters.
    • Signature Activity: “Eliza, Eleanor, Jamie and I would all jump into the lake at the same time, no matter what the weather.” (Gretchen, 07:54).
  • A tradition is also a way to weather family changes (e.g., loss of their father): “It’ll be another milestone without Dad, but I hope this will continue to be a big family holiday for us.” (Gretchen, 08:46)

Listener & Family Examples

• Thanksmas: A listener created “Thanksmas,” a family gathering on the weekend between Thanksgiving and Christmas to ensure everyone can make it and avoid the chaos of those holidays. (Gretchen, 09:04)
• Mini-Traditions: Elizabeth shares how their family began playing "left, right, center" at Christmas—a game fun for everyone, ages 3–100 (Elizabeth, 10:21).

Practical Advice for New Traditions

• Scheduling is life: Choose a set date (e.g., a holiday weekend) for recurring traditions to make them sustainable.
• “In my observation, it’s better to nail down one thing at least, which is where are you gonna go or when are you gonna go? To make it easier to keep that new tradition going, so it becomes an old tradition.” (Gretchen, 11:00)
• Be willing to try and discard ideas: "You have to be aware that some will work and some won't." (Elizabeth, 12:06)

Invitation to Listeners

• Share new traditions, particularly those relevant to empty nesters or changing life phases.

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Happiness Hack: Treat Yourself Like... [16:30]

Listener Hack: Treat Yourself Like Your Own Daughter

• From Marianne (via a friend): When struggling in relationships, imagine if you’d want the same situation for your future daughter.
• “She found it easier to stand up for herself when she treated herself like her own daughter.” (Elizabeth, 16:42)
• Gretchen notes the value of third-person perspective and self-compassion.

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Happiness Stumbling Block: Get Out of Your Storage Unit

[17:48]–[24:48]

• Storage units are a $60 billion industry; over 12% of American households use them.
  • People get storage units for “the four Ds: downsizing, decluttering, divorce, and death.” (Gretchen, 19:15)
  • What keeps people paying for them? “Crisis, indecision, laziness, or selective forgetfulness.” (Gretchen, 19:15)
  • Many storage units are eventually auctioned off after being abandoned.
• Key question: “Do I need more time, or do I need to make a decision?”
  • Useful to apply to physical clutter and procrastination in general.
• Risks: Stuff is often forgotten; there’s a recurring financial drain; emotional cost (as when inheriting things you don’t want).
• Memorable moment: Elizabeth tells a story about overhearing someone intent on getting a storage unit and immediately intervening:
  • “Don’t get a storage unit. That is a terrible idea.” (Elizabeth, 24:05)
• Celebrity anecdote: Paris Hilton once lost valuable possessions (worth $10M to the next owner) by missing a $208 storage payment. (Elizabeth, 21:17)
• Pro tips:
  • If you must use a unit, have an explicit plan and date for emptying it.
  • Avoid being the perpetual recipient of other relatives’ stuff.

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Listener Question: Summer of No Worries

[25:01]–[30:32]

• Listener Katie asks Elizabeth for more detail on her “summer of no worries.”
  • Elizabeth is using physical reminders (bracelets reading “don’t worry, be happy”), talking about it for accountability, and distinguishing between planning vs. worrying.
  • “I'm just mentally keeping it front of mind. I have my bracelets, and it’s been fairly good so far.” (Elizabeth, 29:24)
  • She treats worry like meditation: notice, then let the thought drift by, rather than forcing herself never to worry.
  • “That’s kind of how I’m treating my worry. When it comes up, I'm just trying to let it flow by. It's not that it's not coming up and that I can block it... It’s a practice.” (Elizabeth, 30:00)

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Four Tendencies Segment

[30:32]–[32:55]

• Gretchen calls for examples from “rebels” (her framework’s most misunderstood and “different” tendency) about effective strategies for working with or as a rebel.
  • “If you are a rebel or you’re dealing with a rebel — what has worked for you? What do you wish that you could tell other people?” (Gretchen, 32:32)

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Demerits & Gold Stars

[34:41]–[38:12]

Demerit: Gretchen Neglects Foot Exercises

• [34:41] New bunion; Gretchen wants a new word for it (“We really need to rebrand it.”), started foot exercises but has trouble sticking with them before seeing a podiatrist.
• Elizabeth reminds, “Scheduling is life. You need to get the podiatrist appointment on the books.” (Elizabeth, 36:10)

Gold Star: Design Your Summer App Feature

• [36:57] Elizabeth gives Gretchen’s Happier app a gold star for the “Design Your Summer” feature, where she’s tracking her “Summer of Off White Delight” (wearing white from Memorial Day to Labor Day).
  • “I like this idea of having photos and the summer vibe all in that place. So excellent new feature. Thank you.” (Elizabeth, 37:41)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "Every tradition has to be new at some point. And you can do it yourself." (Gretchen, 05:11)
• "Scheduling is life... If I want this to be a thing, I have to make it into a thing." (Gretchen, 07:54)
• "Do I need more time, or do I need to make a decision?" (Gretchen, 18:07)
• "She found it easier to stand up for herself when she treated herself like her own daughter." (Elizabeth, 16:42)
• "If you don't acquire it, then you don't have to keep it anywhere." (Elizabeth, 24:48)
• “When you meditate, thoughts come up, right?...Just watch it flow by. That’s kind of how I’m treating my worry.” (Elizabeth, 29:52–30:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Listener Travel Hack: 02:47
• Try This at Home: Create a New Tradition: 05:10 – 13:14
• Treat Yourself Like Happiness Hack: 16:30
• Ditch Your Storage Unit Stumbling Block: 17:48 – 24:48
• Listener Q: Summer of No Worries: 25:01
• Four Tendencies (Rebel Strategies): 30:32
• Demerits & Gold Stars: 34:41

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Overall Tone & Style

• Warm, encouraging, and practical.
• Gretchen brings her signature “happiness bully” energy — relentless in nudging listeners to take concrete steps.
• Elizabeth is candid and relatable about her own struggles and successes.
• The hosts balance practical advice with empathy for real-world complexity and setbacks.

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For Further Engagement

• Listeners are invited to share experiences crafting new traditions, dealing with storage units, and navigating the Four Tendencies, especially rebel strategies.
• Resources:
  • Happier app – Design Your Summer tool
  • Habits for Happiness quiz at gretchenrubin.com/quiz

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Summary prepared for listeners who want the actionable takeaways, best moments, and genuine tone of this Happier with Gretchen Rubin episode.

Transcript

[Advertisement/Announcer]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about ways to be happier. Today we'll talk about why you might make a new tradition Oxymoron alert. And we will return to a happiness stumbling block that we have discussed before. But as a happiness bully, I return to it. I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, and human nature. I'm in New York City and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, happy almost Fourth of July and almost happy 250th to the United States.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in LA. And Gretch, I have to add Happy Birthday to our mom whose birthday is on the 4th of July, which is

[Gretchen Rubin]

an excellent day to have as your birthday. I would say it's a very celebratory day to have as your birthday.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Before we jump into this week's episode, we have a few updates.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Leah said, I always enjoy your travel hacks and I wanted to share one of my own. A few years ago, a friend introduced me to the Atlas Atlas Obscura app you can put in your location when you're traveling and it will show you strange off the beaten path things to see in the area, interesting art and architecture, caves and castles, haunted houses and lesser known museums. A lot of the recommendations are paranormal or spooky places, but not all of them. On my last trip I found an art installation in a local library of dioramas of storybook scenes made with wax figurines. It was a cool quest. I also realized it's something you can do in your own neighborhood to be a tourists in your own hometown.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh I love this and you know this is reminding me of Elizabeth is that I've been meaning in Los Angeles to go to the Museum of Jurassic Technology with you and we haven't done that. Yes, we've gotta do that. The joke there is that there is no Jurassic Technology. So it's kind of an imaginary museum which I'm dying to see. Okay, another thing, we are coming up on episode 600 which is just absolutely mind blowing and we would love to do a roundup of what are some of the ideas that have really stuck with people? What is giving you the biggest boost? What has really resonated with you?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, there are so many things, Gretchen. I feel like we never know what is gonna resonate with someone. It could be something we don't even think is a big deal, but then for someone else it makes a big difference.

[Gretchen Rubin]

No, we were just talking about how look behind you every time you get up. Who knew that was a groundbreaking idea but so many people are like, oh, that saved me from losing my phone or my wallet or whatever. Yes, it's a very good idea. That is a good happiness hack. We did not expect that that would be one of the big hitters when we talked about it. So let us [e-mail] or on social media. Plus, it is so fun to see how people are designing their summers. If you have created a summer theme or you've used the Design youn Summer tool in the Happier app, I would love to see it. If you follow me on Instagram at gretchenrubin, share a screenshot of your summer plan using the hashtag DesignYourSummer, I'm gonna be sharing some of my favor. I would love to see what you're doing. And if you haven't designed your summer yet, there's still time. We're just at halfway day. Go to happiercast.comsummer to get started.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yay.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So this week's Try this at home is to make a new tradition, which of course is an oxymoron. There should be no new tradition, but you can make a new tradition at some point. Every tradition has to be new and you can do it yourself.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So, Gretchen, you have made a new tradition, I would say, out of celebrating the Fourth of July. Yeah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Now, we always celebrated the Fourth of July just the way most people in the United States do. Plus, it was a special, as you said, it was a special holiday for our family since it was our mother's birthday. But I decided I was really going to build this out. So I've talked about how we got our weekend house, which is on a lake. And so it's a very summer fun type of place. And what I realized is that July 4th is a really good family holiday if you have older children, because it's often a day when everybody gets off work and often the whole week or at least half the week is lost. And so even if your kids have a full time job or they're doing something, it tends to be a time that they can clear out. Because our house is so set up for like, let's go kayaking, let's go swimming, let's go for a walk outside, let's grill. It just felt like a really good holiday for us. And it was like a new thing. I had always thought in the past we should have made more of it than we did, but we never did. So I just thought the 4th of July is this really good opportunity to make something of it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So what did you do to build it out? And what are the traditions, the new traditions?

[Gretchen Rubin]

So I really thought about all the different aspects and how I could do something. So I thought, okay, special music. So I decided that Fourth of July music is Dolly Parton, Sousa marches and the Great American Songbook and the soundtrack to Hamilton.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Very fitting.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And maybe I'll throw in some American folk songs, because you know how I just, I just realized how much I love American traditional songs, so that kind of thing. So that's what's playing. I put Jaws on the tv, just on mute, but just playing Jaws, because Jaws is the iconic Summer 4th of July movie. For food. It's very traditional grilled food. So burgers and hot dogs, s', mores, but also something or maybe more than one thing that's red, white and blue. So it could be salsa, sour cream, blueberries and. Well, yeah, or blue tortilla chips. That's red, white and blue kind of chips. But then, yeah, blueberries, strawberries on a white Cake for our mother's birthday. So strawberries and blueberries with whipped cream on them. So looking for red, white, and blue foods, trying to have sparklers. I bought some napkins, going for the red, white, and blue stick theme. But this is a thing where scheduling is life. And if I want this to be a thing, I have to make it into a thing. And I decided that the thing that was gonna be the highlight of it or the signature moment was gonna be that Eliza, Eleanor, Jamie, and I would all jump into the lake at the same time, no matter what the weather. You know, now I have this wetsuit because I don't like being cold and it's hard for me to get in the water. But so now I have this wetsuit, so I'm much more enthusiastic about that. I decided we needed, like, a big thing. We did fun. Yeah. We're coming up on the third time, so it's not like I've really executed on this successfully many times. But you, Adam and Jack are coming. Our mother is coming. My in laws are coming. My in laws live very close to us. We were there last year with dad. He was there, and we have many pictures of him from that. These birds. We're building a nest. We were talking about it. I don't know. It'll be another milestone without dad there, but I hope that this will continue to be a big family holiday for us.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I think it's a great idea. And, Gretchen, I'm just thinking you're gonna have to start getting some decor. That's the next step, the decor.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I've gotten some. Yeah. And there's probably a lot to explore there, like platters and tablescapes and whatnot. But, you know, you don't have to do it with the Fourth of July, obviously, and you can make your own. And one of my favorite stories. I know I've told this story before. I talked to a woman who had a really big family. I mean, lots of brothers and sisters. And so they realized that they were having a hard time all getting together. And they really liked it when they were all together, but with one thing or another, it was hard to do. And so what they did is they have Thanksmas. And Thanksmas is a weekend between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And that was their family major holiday. And the spouses liked it because that meant that a spouse's family got Thanksgiving or Christmas because this family wasn't claiming their share of that holiday. And it meant that they were traveling on a weekend that wasn't as busy as Thanksgiving or Christmas and everything was just easier. And then they could count on it because there's always a weekend between those two dates. And I just thought, this is great. They sort of thought, well, what does the holiday need to hold for us? And let's figure out our own way to create it. And then we have this really important value of all the brothers and sisters being able to be together, even though they have families of their own. And that had gotten overly complicated.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, and you can also create a new tradition within a framework. For instance, we've started when we have the family at Christmas at our house playing the game left, right, center, which is a very easy game that Anyone literally from 3 years old to 100 years old can play. It's very fast, it's very loud. And I think that's a fun tradition to have.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, right. And it elevates the tradition. Cause it's like, oh, now we're gonna play left, right, center. You gave me that, Elizabeth. We played it. It's fun. Maybe we'll play it at 4th of July too.

[Elizabeth Craft]

It's definitely more fun the more people you have. Which is a nice thing. Cause many games aren't like that.

[Gretchen Rubin]

No, that's true. That's a very good point. Just as you can do a mini tradition within a larger tradition, you can also do a tradition within a family with maybe not all members. And I was talking to a woman who wanted to have the tradition of a yearly two night mother daughter trip with her and her two daughters now that they're older. I'm thinking a lot about empty nest traditions. And so the deal was the daughters would pick the place and then she would pay for the hotel or whatever. But my suggestion for her was to pick a holiday weekend and commit to it, like President's weekend or like the last weekend in April or something to make scheduling easier. Because as we always say, scheduling is really hard. And so that's why something like 4th of July or Thanksmas is nice, because you know when it's gonna be and you can kind of plan around it. So rather than having something like, well, we don't know when we're gonna go and we don't know where we're gonna go, that starts to get hard to execute on. In my observation, it's better to nail down one thing at least, which is where are you gonna go or when are you gonna go? To make it easier to keep that new tradition going so that it becomes an old tradition.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I think you also have to be aware that some will work and some won't.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So try it out. See if everybody enjoys it, if it resonates. And then I think if there's less pressure, you know, you'll be more likely to try different things and see which ones you like, right?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Exactly. Or let it evolve as you see what's working and what's not working. So far, July 4th is working, but as I said, it's only haven't done it that many times. So let us know if you do try this at home and how making a new tradition works for you. What is a new tradition you found? Or how have you put a twist on a tradition to make it new? I am particularly interested in traditions and rituals that people are creating in the empty nest transition the way July 4th it's a tradition that works for people who might be working. Your children might be gone at summer camp for fourth of July for years, but fourth of July becomes a different thing when you have older children. Or maybe you don't have children at all, but it's a fun tradition anyway. Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook, or drop us an [e-mail] or as always, you can go to the show [e-mail] Coming up,

[Elizabeth Craft]

we've got one of our Treat Yourself Like Happiness hacks. But first, this break.

[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

That's someone who knows your goals, expects to hear from you, and helps you follow through when motivation fades. One of my readers once described MyBody Tutor as an obliger's dream, and I think that's exactly right. If you're tired of making promises to yourself and not following through, go to mybodytutor.com happier and get $50 off your first month today's episode is brought to you by Jevoty. If you've ever had blood work come back fine but still felt like something was off, this might sound familiar. What stood out to me about Jevoty is that they go beyond a standard annual physical. Their longevity panel looks at more than 100 biomarker, and instead of just handing you a report, they connect you with a longevity specialist who helps make sense of it all and builds a personalized plan around your goals.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That's the difference. A lot of services stop at the data. Gevy helps you understand what to do next with support from a clinical team and access to things like hormone optimization, peptides, genetics, and personalized supplement protocols. Ready to see what your standard physical has been missing? Head to gojevity.com and use code HAPPIER to get 15% off your Gevity membership. That's G O G E v I t I.com code happier for 15% off. Jevity's services are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Results may vary. Available in 47 states okay, Elizabeth, without

[Gretchen Rubin]

really meaning to, we have started a series of Treat yourself like Treat yourself like a toddler, Treat yourself like a factory, Treat yourself like an Olympian. And this week's hack comes somebody who has yet another suggestion for a Treat

[Elizabeth Craft]

yourself like yes, this comes from Marianne. She said, I asked my friend's permission to share this one with you. When my wife's friend Sarah was single, she sometimes found herself dating someone that wasn't a very good fit, but things in the moment were goodish. Or she'd find herself compromising on things she had previously known were important to her. She said she found it hard to break up with someone she might be enjoying spending time with over these things, even though she knew deep down it was not sustainable. So instead, she often would imagine her future imaginary daughter would I want this for her. Is this relationship worthy of her? She found it easier to stand up for herself when she treated herself like her own daughter. What a good idea.

[Gretchen Rubin]

What a good addition to the series, because, again, think of yourself in the third person. Think of yourself in this other role. What would you think? How would you treat that person? Or what would you want for them? Love it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Great one. Okay, Gretch, it is time for a happiness stumbling block. This is something you are passionate about. It's a very practical stumbling block.

[Advertisement/Announcer]

Okay?

[Gretchen Rubin]

I've talked about it before. I will talk about it again. And I've been thinking about it lately because times are tough. A lot of people are feeling a little bit strained financially. I'm such a happiness bully on this. And it is this. You have to get out of your storage unit. It is bonkers. How much money is spent on storage units and how many people have storage units? Okay, now, one of the questions that we pose, and I have to ask myself this question all the time when I'm procrastinating about something, is, do I need more time or do I need to make a decision? This is a really helpful question with storage units because let's say you're doing a major house renovation, so some of your furniture is in a storage unit. You would say, do I need more time or do I need to make a decision? You would say, I need more time because once this renovation is done, I will move the furniture back into my home, and then I will be out of my storage unit. I need more time. But if you're thinking, oh, I inherited a bunch of stuff from my great aunt, and I don't know what I'm going to do with it, so I've stuck it in a storage unit. Do you need more time or do you need to make a decision? In that case, you need to make a decision. And the fact is, this storage unit is just a huge business. More than 12% of American households have overflow stuff in rented storage spaces. It is a $60 billion industry.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Wow.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's just a lot of money is going into it. Now, what the research shows is that people turn to a storage unit for the four Ds, right? Downsizing, decluttering, divorce, and death. So that's how you have this stuff. Perhaps. But they say what keeps you in there is crisis, indecision, laziness, or selective forgetfulness. That's what keeps people in there for a long time. People just simply forget about the fact that they have them. And they are just spending so much money. In fact, more than 100,000 units are auctioned off every year because they have been abandoned. These are just people who just forgot that they had it. I had some friends where this happened to them. It was on autopay. They had stuff in there that was really important to them, but they lived in a New York City apartment, so they stuck a bunch of stuff in there. They moved, and somehow, you know how it was a credit card. They got rid of a credit card. They didn't get a notice, and they had no idea what had happened. They never got contacted. And by the time it occurred to them, like, wait, where is that stuff? It was long gone. And they're just sick about it. So you just really want to watch out. And they see why they're abandoned. It's financial hardships, divorce, extended hospitalization, untimely death, imprisonment, or people just forget about them, especially when they move. So if you're in any of those situations, stop and say, okay, we're going through a divorce. Is there a storage unit that we've forgotten about? Or whatever it is. Because, again, they can take up a lot of money. If these things are on autopay and you don't realize it and you're not paying attention, and then you hear all these stories of people who pay for it for four years, and then they finally go there and they end up donating or tossing everything that's in there.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And they could have just done that long before.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, and there's a famous story where Paris Hilton didn't keep up with her storage unit's payments, and she lost items that eventually made the next owner $10 million.

[Advertisement/Announcer]

Wow.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I think she owed something like $208 on it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, my gosh.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So here's something that I thought was very interesting. It turns out that the larger the unit, the longer the customer stays.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, that makes sense, because people don't want to figure out what to do with stuff. And the more stuff you have, the more you don't want to figure out what to do with it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. And you're just like, I don't even know what's in there now, right now, a lot of people also have stuff in their garages. Now, recent Studies suggest that 25% of people with two car garages don't park in them at all. They just use them as storage now. But the advantage of a garage is at least you're not paying for it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, Gretch, I have to admit, we are in that 25%. We use our garage for storage.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Can you. Can you park one car in it or no cars?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, one car. Yeah, we could park one car in it, but it's largely used for storage. We've done rounds of getting rid of stuff, but I'm sure if we started over, there's a lot more that could go.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, if you do have a storage unit, because sometimes you have to have a storage unit. Just have a plan for when it will all come out. Don't put it in there and say, like, well, when the dust settles all, deal with it. Give yourself a date or give yourself some kind of tripwire where you're like, okay, when this happens, then we're going to deal with it and we're going to plan to be out of it by X, Y, Z date. That's why if you use it for something like a renovation, well, you need the furniture, so it's going to come back out. One thing where a lot of people, I think, get into this issue is that they become a recipient for somebody else's stuff. So your parents leave their house, they leave a bunch of stuff to you. You don't know what to do with it, and there's so much of it. You can't just stick it in your basement or whatever. And so you put it in a storage unit. But that's when you really need to say, okay, I don't want to just leave it there indefinitely. And of course, it can be very emotionally painful to go through it or to let go of it, to say, oh, this piece of furniture was really, really important to my mother, but there's no room for it in my New York City apartment. So now I have to get rid of it. That's really, really painful, obviously, but it's going to happen sooner or later. And if you do it sooner, you just get it off your conscience and off your to do list and off your debt.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Gretch, this is reminding me of a story. Recently, I was at someone's house playing mahjong, and I heard from across the room, somebody talking about getting a storage unit, that they were thinking of getting a storage unit. And I flew across the room. I said, don't get a storage unit. That is a terrible idea.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Good.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I started talking about all these reasons why, and I was just like, don't do it. And she really took it in. She was like, oh, wow, I didn't know all that. That's a really good point. So hopefully I stopped at least one person from the storage unit trap.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, it is a trap. Well, I'm glad you channeled me as a storage unit intervention. Now, obviously, again, there are some times when it's inevitable and it can be a huge bonus and benefit and help to have that. But I've just heard from so many people, in the end it was just a question of sooner or later. And by waiting, by later, you just end up in that trap. So, so anyway, that is my happiness stumbling block, passion and always best.

[Elizabeth Craft]

You know, we say reduce, reuse, recycle and reject. If you don't acquire the stuff, sometimes you can't help it, it's given to you. But if you don't acquire it, then you don't have to keep it anywhere.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Exactly. Well, and now for a listener question. We got a great question from Katie for you, Elizabeth, about your summer of no worries. Katie says, I love the idea of summer of no worries, or at least less worry. Elizabeth, I have shared your idea with a number of friends and we are all on board. We would love to hear you talk a little bit more about this. What is your plan? How are you going to do this? How will you measure if it was a success? To start, I have changed the face of my apple watch to okay. My plan is that when my family comes to me with something good or bad, my first response will be okay. Okay will remind me that it is a summer of no worries. I'm looking forward to hearing more. So Elizabeth, what do you have to say about no worries?

[Elizabeth Craft]

First of all, listeners sent me some bracelets that say don't worry, be happy. So I'm wearing those very often and looking at them does remind me to set aside worry.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Good.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I'm really just trying to be mindful of it. I'm talking about it a lot, which helps because when you talk about it, it's stays top of mind. I was also helped by the fact that shortly after I declared my summer of setting aside worry, Sarah and I kind of had a good streak career wise.

[Gretchen Rubin]

You did so.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I felt like it was connected to that. Once I let go of my worry, then good things happen. So I feel like I was rewarded, which really helps. Now, do I still wake up in the middle of the night worrying? Yes. But I do try to tell myself, okay, wait a second, I'm sitting here worrying. Let me stop doing that. Let me set it aside. Because that's what I said, set aside worry.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And it is helping. And the other thing I'm doing is I'm trying to distinguish. If I start pondering, ruminating, worrying is I try to distinguish am I planning or am I worrying. For instance, if I'm thinking about a trip we're taking and I'm like, should we go here, should we go there, what should we do, what day, etc. And then I go, oh, I'm worrying. But I think, no, but it's got

[Gretchen Rubin]

a point to it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I'm planning. I'm going somewhere with these thoughts.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Versus I am just stewing over something that I don't have control over. So, for instance, I'm trying not to worry about getting to the airport on time. As we know, that is something to worry about. The morning that you're going to the

[Gretchen Rubin]

airport, that's a worry that is not yet ripe. Meaning there's no point in worrying about it yet, because there will be a time when, oh, it is a big worry, but then you will be acting on that worry.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. I love this idea, though, of having your response be, okay, something good or bad, so that you're not flying off the handle or going down a road too far. Because I can be reactionary, I think, at times, and I am trying to trade myself out of that. It's not easy, but, yeah, I'm loving it. And it's funny, because what I'm hoping is that my setting aside worry summer turns into setting aside worry fall. I'll take it one season at a time, right?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, let's say you're in the middle of the night and you catch yourself worrying like that, and you say, okay, no, I'm setting aside worry. Do you start listening to a podcast? Do you start counting sheep? How do you redirect your thoughts?

[Elizabeth Craft]

If it's the middle of the night, I kind of just roll over and put it aside.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And you're able to do that?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I am more able to do it now that I have this thing I'm doing. So it's probably the obliger in me that I want to be able to come on the podcast and say, yes, I successfully set aside worry, which is one reason why I wanted to do it on the podcast, so that I'd be talking about it and accountable.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Katie and her friends are like, tell us about it, Elizabeth. So you have to be doing it exactly so you can report back from the land of. Of less worry.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. But I do think for me, it also makes me nicer because I'm less tense. But am I still worrying? Of course there's going to be worry. I mean, life has worries, but there's needless worry that I just need to eject from my life. But, yeah, so that's it. I'm just mentally keeping it front of mind. I have my bracelets, and it's been fairly good so far.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Interesting. Well, I'm very curious to hear how it continues, because it sounds like it's sort of been easier than a person might have thought to just mentally set aside worry.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, part of it, Gretch, is I'm not a stickler. It's not like I am allowing for the fact that there is gonna be some worry. I'm not like, oh, my gosh, I worried about something I failed. It's like meditation. When they say when you meditate, thoughts come up, right?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. Right.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And it's okay that thoughts come up. And some people say think of them like a piece of debris flowing by in the river. Just watch it flow by.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That's kind of how I'm treating my worry. When it comes up, I'm just trying to let it flow by. It's not that it's not coming up and that I can block it because that would take a lot longer to sort of build up that stamina.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Don't think of a white elephant.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Exactly. But I can think of it and then just let it flow by mindfully. Yes, it's a practice.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Let's call it a practice.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Everything sounds better when you call it a practice.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, the no worry practice. So maybe that will help, Katie, to think of it as a practice.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I like it. Just flowing by. Exactly. And here is a question for listeners. So that was a question from a listener. Here is a question for you listeners. So we talk a lot about the four tendencies. And of course, if you don't know if you're an upholder question or obliger rebel, you can take the [e-mail] and so much will be revealed to you. You'll get a little report about what it means to be that tendency and how to put it into action in your life. But one of the things that I've realized, because I think about the four tendencies all the time and talk to people about the four tendencies all the time, is that people are often very focused on rebels and how to deal effectively with rebels. And rebels want to know how can I deal effectively with myself and how can I help other people deal effectively with me? Now, this makes sense because rebels are the most different of the four tendencies. They're the most different from the other three. And so I think it's harder for people to understand the rebel perspective and for rebels to communicate to others why doing something a certain way just is not gonna work for a rebel. And so if you are a rebel or you're dealing with a rebel? What has worked for you? What do you wish that you could tell other people about dealing with a rebel? How have you communicated successfully with a rebel? If you've faced a big challenge and found the rebel way to handle it, I would love to hear from you. Because I'm constantly trying to get more and more examples and sophistication in understanding the tendencies. Like I have this whole project that I'm doing about accountabilities for obligers because accountability is so key for obligers, and there's so many more ways to create accountability than people think. They think, oh, you take a class. I'm like, oh, there's many ways to create outer accountability that you probably haven't thought of. So I'm collecting those. But I also am really trying to deepen my understanding of practical ways to approach the rebel tendency. And of course, as an upholder, the rebel tendency is the most opposite from me. It's the one I feel like I've learned the most from rebels because it's the most different for me. But I also sometimes think that I have the hardest time imagining their response to a situation because it is just so different from mine.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. And the fact is, oftentimes it's even more important to understand other people's tendencies than your own tendency.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. So rebels and people dealing with rebels. I want to Hear from you podcastretchenrubin.com or let me know on social media.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Coming up, Gretchen gives herself a foot related demerit. But first, this break.

[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

on matchday as Doug reaches for a buffalo wing. He's got it oh, and he's gone for a can of Pepsi, too. What a finish. There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better. Match days deserve Pepsi. Okay, Gretchen, it's time for demerits and gold stars, and this week, it is your week for a demerit.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay, well, this is a new demerit, but I suspect it will become a repeat demerit. So I very unfortunately have developed a bunion. And can I just say, this is a word I do not like. We really need to rebrand it if anybody has a different. Even like a Latin term for it, because I just don't like that word.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But anyway, it's like squat versus plie. Even though we know a plie isn't technically a squat, it just sounds better.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Or you call it a sumo bend or whatever. You just find a different word for it. Okay, so I am gonna go to a podiatrist and find out what I can do to keep this one from getting worse or from developing another one. But in the meantime, somebody who I really respect was telling me about foot exercises I could do to strengthen my feet and to stretch them out and everything. It's a good idea to do them until I manage to get an appointment with a podiatrist. And so I started out very eagerly because I'm like, oh, this is a big thing, and I don't want it to get worse. There's something called yoga toes. Again, I want a podiatrist to say, should I be using these things like stretch out your feet? Those are. I'm good about you putting on, because I just put them on while I'm working or something. They don't take any energy for me other than just put them on. But the other stuff, it's like I have to go up on my toes and then back on my heels and up on my toes and back on my heels. Or I have to thread my fingers through and bend them forward and bend them back and then do it in the reverse, even though I've been telling myself, look, until I'm told not to, I should do these things because somebody I really respect suggested them, and I want to immediately start taking action.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, Gretchen, let me remind you, scheduling is life. You need to get the podiatrist appointment on the books.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, I do remember going to a

[Elizabeth Craft]

podiatrist changed my life.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That's true. That is true. See, that's good. Okay, I'm going to do that, and then maybe I will just say, I will wait to talk to the podiatrist. Because maybe part of me is saying, do I really need to do these things? If I had a doctor saying, look, if you don't want it to be worse and you don't want it to be on the other foot, this is what you need to do, I think that would give me a lot of power. Okay. So I'm going to direct my energy toward making that appointment rather than trying to get myself to do these exercises. Because you're right. In the end, that's going to be much more effective.

[Advertisement/Announcer]

Okay.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. Good suggestion. Okay. I pledge that I will do that. But, Lizzith, take us up. What's your gold star?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, Gretch, my gold star is to you and your app feature, which is new this year. Design your summer.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

On the app. I think you may have mentioned it earlier in the episode. I am using it. I have written down my things for the summer, and one of which is, I'm calling it my Summer of Off White Delight. And I am wearing as much white as I possibly can between Memorial Day and Labor Day. And so I'm taking a lot of photos of myself wearing white. They do get a bit repetitive, not surprisingly. But anyway, I'm keeping track of all that in the app because I can put the photos in the app.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So at some point, I need to do like a carousel on Instagram.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

To prove that I'm having this summer. But it's great. And also you can write down your theme there. And what is really fun is that I'm assuming you'll have this every year so I can start keeping track of all my summers in the app and then kind of look back, which is always fun. We love to look back at our past word of the year and all of that. So I like this idea of having photos and the summer vibe all in that place. So excellent new feature. Thank you.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh, good. I'm so glad you're liking it. Yeah. Go to thehappierapp.com if you want to learn more. That's so great.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. Alyssa, I love seeing all your. Sometimes you'll send me a picture. And I love seeing you in all your off white.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And the resource for this week, if you're listening to this on the day the episode goes live, halfway day is tomorrow. That is July 2nd. That is a very useful moment to ask yourself what would make the biggest difference in the second half of your year if you're not sure where to focus? I have a quiz for that. It's the Habits for Happiness quiz. In just eight questions it will help you identify the habit that's most likely to boost your happiness. And to be clear, this isn't a general answer. This is an answer that is specifically targeted to you. And how the quiz manages to do that in just eight questions is uncanny. But we have designed the quiz so that you really do get the best. It's like, what right now would move the needle for you most? So if you took it in a month, you might get a different answer if things are changing. But this, in your unique circumstances right now, this will give you your answer. If you go to gretchenrubin.com quiz you'll find it there, plus a lot of other things. It's a super fun quiz, if I do say so myself. The Habits for Happiness quiz. I created it because people would always say, if I want to be happier, what's the one habit I should do? And I was always, it depends on you. Like, I would have to ask you a thousand questions. And then finally I thought maybe I could have a quiz that would just figure that out for people. So this is my answer, if you want to know the answer to that. And Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I am reading the Wreck of the Mentor by Eric J. Dolan.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I am reading the Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes. And that's it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Create a new tradition. Let us know if you've created a new tradition. What did you create and how?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed, and everyone at Lemonada.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And here is your rhyming reminder, fan of the podcast, Review it fast. And, Elizabeth, I have been doing a better job on starting to review podcasts and books. I have really started doing it. I feel so great.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yay.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It really makes you feel good to review something that you enjoy. I have to say, good.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Gold star for that. Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Craft.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward, Elizabeth And Chuck. You know, my office is always so hot, but, Chuck, I bought that silent fan you told me about, and I have my fan going, and I don't think you two can hear it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I can. How's it working? Does it feel like it's helping you stay cool in there?

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's not that hot today, but it is nice to have the little breeze. I think it's going to make a difference. Cold start of you, Chuck.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, all right, great.