← Happier with Gretchen Rubin
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- [00:02]
A
Lemonade. Today's episode is brought to you by gevoty. If you've ever had blood work come back fine but still felt like something was off, this might sound familiar. What stood out to me about jevotee is that they go beyond a standard annual physical.
- [00:19]
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It's an all in one precision health membership that goes beyond the results. You get comprehensive testing plus a dedicated three person care team, including a longevity specialist, to help you understand what your body is telling you and build a personalized protocol. That's what makes Jevoty different. Most companies give you pages of lab results and leave you to figure them out yourself. Gevy helps you put that information into action with personalized supplement packs, access to hormone optimization peptides, and ongoing Support. All in one membership. Head to Go Happier. That's G-O G-E-V-I-T-I.com and use code Happier to get 20% off your membership one more time. That's Go Happier. Code Happier for 20% off. Jevity Services are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Results may vary. Here's an interesting question. What if one small act of generosity became one of the most meaningful parts of your month? At Children Incorporated, sponsoring a child helps remove the barriers that poverty creates so children can stay in school and build brighter futures.
- [01:31]
A
And perhaps that's the surprising thing about generosity. It changes everyone involved. Learn more@childrenincorporated.org that's childrenincorporated.org. Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about strategies and solutions for making our lives happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. This week, we'll talk about why we all really should rsvp. And we will talk about the phenomenon of presentation creep. I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, and human nature. I'm in New York City, and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And, Elizabeth, I think you and I both have experienced presentation creep.
- [02:20]
B
That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in la. And yes, Gretch, I have experienced it many times, much to my dismay.
- [02:29]
A
Yeah, well, we're gonna get into it, but before we jump in, we are coming up soon on our episode, 600. Unbelievable.
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B
Yes.
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A
Elizabeth, did you think we would ever hit this milestone?
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B
I mean, I remember when we hit 100. It felt epic. Just the biggest deal ever.
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A
Yes. Yeah. So 600. I want to look up if there's any kind of significance to 600. Is it the platinum, the double platinum, or something like that? I don't know. But Anyway, for the 600th episode, if there's any significance to 600, please let us know. But also, what has stuck with you most of discussions that you've heard here on the Happier podcast? What have you tried, what has worked, what hasn't worked, but you learned something from it? We really want to know what has really resonated most with listeners.
- [03:19]
B
Yes, we're always surprised by certain things that come up and then others are things that people tell us over and over and over again. So love hearing from you.
- [03:28]
A
We got some interesting listener responses about the subject of hearing aids.
- [03:33]
B
Yes, Lisa said. I was so pleased to hear you talk about hearing aids on the podcast. I have been a great advocate of them since I started wearing hearing aids two years ago at age 54. I couldn't understand why everyone had started mumbling all the time. Well, it turns out my hearing had started to degrade. I resisted a bit, I'm too young. But as soon as I got them, I was a huge fan. I could hear voices, birds, music, tv, theater, everything. So much better. I have talked to so many people and urged them to get their hearing checked and their parents. A few hacks, Apple, AirPods Pro, second generation and above serve as hearing aids and have the ability to administer a decent hearing test. Try that if you're curious. They're not as good as prescription hearing aids at filtering background noise, but can help if you really do need hearing aids. The prescription models are best, but they are still very expensive. Too expensive in my opinion. I got my first hearing exam at a doctor but got my hearing aids at Costco and subsequent hearing tests. I am a very satisfied customer. Thank you for spreading the word.
- [04:39]
A
That's terrific to hear. And along the same lines Carrie wrote I got hearing aids a couple of years ago at the age of 48. I probably needed them a long time before. After my mom died, I decided I did not want to be like her and only hear half of conversations or in some cases nothing of a presentation due to acoustics. My audiologist is a gem and super helpful. I wear my hearing aids all the time for work and even then there are still situations in which hearing is harder for me. Even with my hearing aids, I have some situations when I don't wear them at all, like a walk with just one friend or when I'm home on the weekends. The best thing about my hearing aids is bluetooth. I can be on the phone in my car and the call automatically transfers to my hearing aids when I get out talking on the phone, hands free and no speaker is a huge bonus. With hearing aids, you basically have built in earbuds, but most people can't see them so it can be super confusing for others. It's probably one of the best health and wellness related decisions I've ever made in my life. It greatly increases one's quality of life. Thank you for addressing it on the show. Age should not be a reason someone does not get hearing aids. They are life changing. So this is great. My mother in law does this all the time. I'll say something to her and she's like, oh wait, I'm listening to a podcast or something. So she loves the Bluetooth function.
- [05:57]
B
And we also got an email about worry. Mary says, I thought it was so interesting that you reframed worry as preparation. During this episode, I actually deal with worry by contrasting it with preparation. Decades ago when I was in a prenatal class, a yoga teacher said worry is not preparation. It has stuck with me all these years. Whenever I find myself worrying, I ask myself, is all of this worrying going to help me be more prepared? And I actually find that sometimes my worrying really is indeed preparation. For example, I might be playing out how I might react if a certain highly likely scenario plays out. In these cases, seeing it as preparation helps me contain it. Once I've worked through the things I needed to work through, I can feel more prepared and set those thoughts aside. Most of the time though, the answer is that the worry is definitely not helping me be more prepared. It is often making me feel less prepared because it is depleting my energy and recognizing that helps me let it go. Interesting.
- [06:59]
A
I think this is very interesting that this distinction has emerged in this discussion because I don't know that in the past I've really understood worry versus preparation and how those are. How those are interwoven and how really breaking them into two can be so useful.
- [07:19]
B
Yes, it definitely is helping me as I try to set aside worry this summer.
- [07:24]
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Well, I think worry can feel like preparation. Almost feels like superstitiously like you're working towards something, but maybe you're not. So it's just good to ask yourself that question. So interesting. Yeah, Elizabeth, we're all learning so much from your summer of setting aside worry. Yeah, it's great. More to be discovered. Okay, this week our try this at home tip is something that we all know perfectly well that we should do and yet it does not get done. And that is to RSVP or repondai s' il vous plait Respond if you please. That is just sometimes you don't have to rsvp. It's just like, come by if you can, it's an open house, whatever. Or, you know, you can just go. But if people say rsvp, we should really feel the pressure to say whether or not we are coming. Not just we are coming, not just we aren't coming, not just not saying anything. We're supposed to respond and say, what are we doing? Yes.
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B
And it's rare that people don't want an rsvp, Gretch.
- [08:28]
A
Yeah, true. For social occasions. And the reason that they want an RSVP is the reason why this is the considerate thing to do. If they are hosting something, they need to know how much food to buy, how much drink to buy, how many table settings to put out, how many mahjong related coasters to put around the terrace. They need to be able to plan. It makes a difference. Even two extra people more or less can significantly affect your planning and how much you're spending, how many errands you're doing. And so it just, it's very, very considerate to let people know what your plans are.
- [09:07]
B
Well, yes. And if you're hosting something, as soon as that invitation goes out, you have that anxiety of like, are people gonna come? I don't think anyone ever stops worrying that no one's gonna show up to their event. And so it's very reassuring to know that, yes, people are coming. Now, Gretchen, we have to add on to this. There is a phenomenon, at least in Los Angeles, and I'm sure it's probably most places where people say they're going to come when they have no intention of going.
- [09:37]
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And why do you think they do that? Why do people give the yes when they really don't ever intend to go?
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I think they want to make the person feel good that they would like to go and they want sort of credit for going, but they actually know that the day of they're going to say, oh my gosh, I got stuck at work, or oh my gosh, something came up with my kid and I can't make it. I'm so sorry, this is such a bummer to miss this. And it's just rude. Don't do that.
- [10:08]
A
Yeah. And then if you come up with a thing at the last minute, I mean, things come up at the last minute all the time. Of course, I think people think that by a fake. Yes. They sort of get all the credit and make the person feel good, but actually it really makes planning harder And I think if you want to signal that, I think the more polite way is to immediately respond no, because I think that shows consideration. And so if somebody invites me to something, it's believable because I've done it right away, and it helps them plan. Now, with some events too, it might be that then they would invite somebody else to take my place. And so by RSVPing no, now they're like, okay, well, now maybe there was somebody that I would have liked to have invited, but I didn't have room for, well, now I can extend the invitation to somebody else.
- [10:57]
B
Yeah. And I think people don't RSVP because they don't want to say no.
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A
Right.
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Even if they know they can't go or they don't want to go or whatever the case is, they don't want to give a no. And so they just keep putting it off because people don't like saying no. But you are just making it worse by not responding. It drains the fun out of something. It does when you're hosting and people aren't responding. And that's true, by the way, if you have a written invitation, a paperless post invitation, or a text invitation.
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A
Yes.
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Any of it needs to be responded to.
- [11:36]
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Yeah, this just happened to my daughter Eliza. You know, so we have this weekend house. And so she wanted to have a bunch of friends out there. And so we. We worked it out. Okay, what was a weekend where Jamie and I wouldn't go out there so that she could have her friends. And then she texted a bunch of friends and said, okay, I'm just checking in. This weekend is coming up, so just tell me yes or no if you're gonna come, and are you gonna spend the night or are you just gonna come for the day? And not one person texted her back, and she was so crestfallen. You know, it did take the fun out of it. Now, people often are, well, if it really matters, they'll email me.
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B
Right.
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But that's a lot of work for somebody who's already hosting something. So individually contact everybody to find out their sincere intentions. Also, I think part of it is this problem of, do you need more information or do you need to make a decision? Because someone might say to somebody that, hey, I don't know, my mother might be coming into town. In which case I really, I need to be with my mother, but I'm gonna find out on Friday. Can I put myself down as a maybe and let you know? That's very different from somebody just not responding.
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B
Yes, you can respond With I don't know.
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Yes. Or can I let you know at a time? I mean, I've had people respond no and come to things.
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B
Right.
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I've had people respond the morning of an event. Yes, everything's been done by now. That's not that helpful.
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B
Now here's something I will say as a responder. With the plethora of invitations coming through email, it can be hard to relocate them. So many times I have been searching, I don't know if it was Punchbowl or Paperless post or Evite and for some reason I put in the person's name and it doesn't come up because maybe it's under their married name. I mean, it does happen and things
- [13:13]
A
by text or WhatsApp or email. No, it is very hard, which is a reason, reason why it's really helpful to do it right away and get it into your flow in whatever way. Because no, I've had that exact same problem where I know that this came up but I can't locate it or I have this thing. I don't know if I respond to Paperless post. It doesn't put all the information in my calendar. It's supposed to seamlessly pop up, but a lot of times it's missing information and I don't know, I'm sure I could figure it out in the settings or something. But. And also, just one thing to remember, especially if it's something where people are hosting in any way, there probably is a cost. Either they're buying things from the grocery store or if they're hosting at a place, there might be a per head price. And so don't think, oh, if I just say yes and don't show up, they'll appreciate that. They will not appreciate that. Somebody said that to me at a wedding. They're like, oh, I respond yes to every wedding, but I only go to like a third of them. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Don't you know that's expensive? That's very expensive for somebody to have you at their wedding. That's not a kindly act.
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B
No.
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A
Yeah.
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The other thing is doing it fast responding. Even if it's a yes, if you respond yes quickly, it makes the person feel good that you responded yes quickly. They get that information and they go, oh, people are excited to come to my party.
- [14:34]
A
Yes, yes.
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So why not give them that little jolt of happiness? Why say, okay, I'm going to go, but I don't feel like pushing this button right now. I'll push it in three days. Or then you might forget.
- [14:47]
A
Right? Or lose it in your text or what? Yeah, no, I completely agree. It's so exciting when somebody's oh, this sounds like so much fun. Or oh, I can't wait. Or this sounds like so much fun. It just makes you feel good. And we talk about the fact that it's hard hosting, it's hard to put yourself out there. It's hard to do the errands and the work to entertain in any, even in the lightest lift kind of way. People put themselves out there socially by extending an invitation. They're doing errands, they're cleaning up their dining room. It's hard work. And so it's good to give those people the reinforcement that makes them happy. They did it.
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Yes. Part of the social contract.
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Part of the social contract. And sometimes people are like, oh, nobody RSVPs anymore. Yes they do. We should all be RSVPing together. So let us know if you do try this at home. And have you upped your RSVP game? Are you RSVPing faster and more consistently? It's something that is a good reminder for all of us. Threads, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook. Drop us an email@podcastretchenmovin.com or as always, go to happiercast.com for the show notes.
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Coming up, we've got a traveling happiness hack, but first, this break.
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- [17:13]
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a business means you're always reachable. Until you're not. And the moment you miss that call, that text, that follow up, someone else may get the opportunity instead. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q U O. The business phone system built so you never miss a call. What I like is that all your calls, texts and voicemails live in one place. So anyone on your team can jump in, see the full conversation history and respond quickly.
- [17:40]
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A
I have to tell you, Lola Blankets has become my go to gift. We have one at home and everybody who comes over just ends up asking about it. The first time somebody feels it, their reaction is always the same. Wow. That's when I realized this just wasn't my favorite blanket. It was the perfect gift.
- [18:36]
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- [18:55]
A
I love giving gifts that people actually enjoy and Lola works for just about anyone. It instantly makes the space feel warmer, cozier and more inviting.
- [19:05]
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For a limited time, our listeners can get 40% off select Lola Blankets products with Code Happier at checkout. Just head to lolablankets.com and use code Happier. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know we sent you. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola Blankets. All right Gretch, we are back with this week's Happiness hack.
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A
This is a simple but practical one. I think we all have those giant tote bags that don't have much structure. They're just big open tote bags and I think especially when you're traveling and you want the biggest possible carry on bag. But it's no fun to just have something that's open and everything just rolls around at the bottom I found out that if you have a bag that is lacking internal structure, you know, or flops around, you can get a purse organizer insert or a tote organizer insert. It's exactly what it sounds like. They come in all different sizes. So it could be a giant L.L. bean tote bag or it could be a medium sized handbag. And if it doesn't have that internal organization, you just put this thing in it and it's got pockets and zippered pouches and all the rest and you match it to the internal size of your bag and then you have all of that structure that you need, but you still get to use the bag that you like.
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Yes. Sarah has one of these for one of her big tote bags, Gretchen, and she loves it.
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A
Yeah. So a friend of mine told me about hers and I looked at it. It was very cool. So I will post a link in the show notes if you want to see an example. I there's many different kinds of these, but it was interesting how many sizes I saw that they had because I'm sure it works best if it fits very exactly into your size. So I thought, well, that's good, you can really get what you need. Because I love having everything in a specific place. So I don't like that rummaging around at the bottom and not knowing where anything is. So I thought this was a great solution. I did. I had never seen one of these before.
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B
Okay, now for a happiness stumbling block.
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Okay, this is the solution to a happiness stumbling block that sometimes emerges and that is to set expectations so that presentation creep doesn't set in. If you do not want presentation creep.
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So explain what presentation creep is.
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A
Okay, so I got this idea from project creep and this is a term that I love. So let's say you're renovating a bathroom. So project creep is when you think, oh, well, since we're renovating the bathroom, we might as well also renovate the hallway. And since we renovated our bathroom, maybe we should get new towels. And you start out with a project that seems very defined, but slowly it creeps and it gets bigger and bigger. And I've noticed that in everyday life, sometimes you start out with a practice or an idea. Feels like, oh, this is kind of easy and fun, but then over time, the presentation of it, the expectations around it slowly start to creep upward. And so something that felt maybe casual and easy starts to become more burdensome. Now, you may want to up your game and do something in a more elevated way, but sometimes you don't and you want to Keep something simple. And so I just think it's a good thing to watch out for. Presentation creep. If it's not something that you want to set in.
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B
Gretch. This happens with mahjong groups because at the beginning you say, okay, let's meet after dinner. We'll just have beverages and maybe a little dessert. But inevitably there's that person that puts out a dinner. And then the next person feels they have to put out a dinner. And then you can't put out the same thing the other person had. So you have to get something even more elaborate. And then it can turn into something where nobody wants to do it. Because now it's this elaborate thing rather than just, hey, come over to my house at 7:30 after dinner and we'll play a couple hours of mahjong. And it's no big deal.
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A
Right.
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And this happens with book groups. This happens with any kind of group. I feel like where there's a rotating thing, suddenly it turns into this huge thing. Now is it nice to go to a, you know, mahjong and there's this elaborate, gorgeous dinner? Well, that is enjoyable. But I do think it becomes a happiness stumbling block.
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A
Right?
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Or it can.
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A
Well, I think maybe this is your love of naming things. Maybe you call it like, this is the super casual mahjong group. Or, you know what I mean? Because we had to do this. In my book club, we have a tradition that I love, which is every new year, we draw out of a hat, pick a name, and give each member a book. Like I would give my friend Julia a book. So you buy a book for that person, and then we all discuss why we chose the book, and we read a passage of it. And then often in the coming year, we will choose books from those gifts that people gave. Cause we're like, oh, that book sounds so good. We all wanna read it in the book group. So it's a really lovely tradition. But I have a couple friends, and I think these are the people who honestly enjoy it and love it and love to elevate things. But it was starting to get the thing where instead of giving one book, it would be two books or three books. And instead of somebody just handing you the book, it was beautifully wrapped and the presentation was gorgeous. And finally we just decided, it's one book and it's not wrapped because the fun of it was starting to get overwhelmed by like, okay, now I have to come up with some beautiful theme and a packaging.
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Yeah.
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And so we said, okay, we're gonna dial this back. And you Know what this reminds me of, Elizabeth? It's kind of what's happened to Halloween, because Halloween used to be a very minor holiday, but now I think Halloween is behind Christmas in terms of how much people spend on decorations. Yes. Which is fun, if you like it. But you just have to remember, okay, maybe I don't want presentation creep to set in. Maybe I don't want to go down this road because you can end up making something again that was supposed to be easy and fun into something that's more work, and then you might not want to do it.
- [25:04]
B
Yeah.
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A
And another example that comes to my mind is I had these friends that were three families. This was when they had little kids, and it was like, okay, let's get together the three families every Sunday night. And it was fun. And at the beginning, the idea was take out pizza. But then over time, it got more and more elaborate, and then it really turned into a hassle to host it. But my friend had started this, and so she felt like she could be the one to say, hey, everyone, we've drifted away from the pizza party. Let's go back to pizza. And we've all got little kids. Let's keep it simple. And everybody's like, oh, yeah, let's do it. But I think people, they want to go that little extra mile, but then that starts compounding.
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Yes. And if you really want to do that, I think you could say, hey, heads up. I've been dying to use this new set of dishes I have.
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So this is going to be an
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extra special mahjong night or whatever. And if you say this is an exception. Yes, I think that's fine. It's just, you don't want to set a new bar.
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You don't want to constantly set a new bar, because then people are like, I have to match a raise. And then it's, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's. It's just good to be aware of it, because sometimes I think we don't notice that it's happening, and then we get backed into this situation. Yeah.
- [26:17]
B
All right, Gretch, coming up, you have a water coloring demerit. But first, this break. Have you ever noticed that some of the most meaningful moments in life come from helping someone else? It's easy to think that changing the world requires doing something extraordinary. But sometimes lasting change begins with something much smaller. Helping one child overcome the barriers that stand between them and an education. That's what Children Incorporated has been doing for more than 60 years by partnering
- [26:58]
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with trusted volunteer coordinators who know the children and families in their own communities. Children Incorporated helps provide essentials like clothing, shoes, nutritious food, school supplies and hygiene items, giving children the support they need to stay in school and build brighter futures. The surprising thing about generosity is that it changes everyone involved. If you've been looking for a simple, meaningful way to make a lasting difference, visit childrenincorporated.org to choose a child to see Sponsor today. One thing I've learned about summer dressing is that the pieces you love most are usually the simplest ones, the things you reach for again and again because they're comfortable, versatile and always seem to work. That's why we keep coming back to Quints. I've been especially loving their European linen pieces. They're lightweight, easy to wear and somehow look polished without requiring any effort.
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B
Quince makes elevated essentials using premium materials like European linen, organic cotton and washable silk, but without the traditional work up. Their linen pants, dresses and tops start at just $32 and their soft denim and organic cotton sweaters are perfect for cooler summer evenings. I also love their 14 karat gold jewelry. Simple pieces that instantly pull an outfit together make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com Gretchen for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Gretchen for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Gretchen I've been trying to say
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yes more to little adventures. Nothing huge, just getting out of the routine and going somewhere different for the day. And it really makes you appreciate having a car that feels solid and comfortable where you're not thinking about the drive, you're just focused on where you're going. That's what stood out to me about the Defender. It has that rugged design but also feels really thoughtful inside. And I like that there's a full lineup from the two door 90 to the 110 and the 130 with seating for up to eight. So it really fits different kinds of
- [29:11]
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plans and it's built with those durable purposeful materials so you can actually use it without worrying about every little thing. It also has features that make driving feel easier like Clearsight Technology and the PIVI Pro system so you can keep track of where you're going and everything you want to listen to along the way. Plus, with up to 89 cubic feet of cargo space and available three rows, it gives you a lot of flexibility depending on what you're bringing with you. Explore the full Defender lineup@land roverusa.com. all right, Gretchen, we are back with this week's demerits and gold stars. It's an odd episode, so it is your turn for a demerit.
- [29:52]
A
So this has to do with my watercoloring. So I started off saying I was going to watercolor every day. Then I realized that's too much. I'm only gonna watercolor on days when I'm not going out at night. Because if I was going out at night, it was just too much to try to watercolor. Cause I gotta go to the met every day. I gotta work all that stuff. But even still, there are some days where I get in bed, I'm like, wait, I forgot to watercolor. I've gotta do it. So I have moved some things around so that I have a visual prompt, because a visual prompt always really helps. But one of the things I wanna do is I wanna go on a retreat where I really get into it. I think that would help me really double down. Scheduling is life. And at first I was looking online and I thought, oh, there's places all over the country. And then I thought, you know what? Scheduling is life. Keep it simple. Do this in New York City. And so what I'm committing to do right now is I'm looking for a day long or an afternoon long watercolor intensive that I think would help me up my skills. Because the thing about the watercoloring is I kind of enjoy it, and I definitely enjoy having done it, and I enjoy being a person who does watercolor. But it's effortful. It's not something where I'm like, oh, la di da, I'm gonna sit down and do it. It takes time and energy and focus. And of course, that's why it gives me the atmosphere of growth. That's the feature, not a bug. So I think that maybe doing a retreat will just help me re engage more deeply and maybe up my skills a little bit, which would be very satisfying. I feel like I'm a little bit stuck in terms of my skills. I am doing the doodle sketching, and I really do love the doodle sketching. And part of the reason I love that is I do feel like I'm getting better. So anyway, by giving myself this demerit, I am helping myself to recommit to watercolor, which I do love, love those materials. But, Elizabeth, what is your gold star?
- [31:36]
B
Well, I am giving a gold star to a new friend of mine. Her name is Rebecca Coleman. She has created something that she calls trail and Talk. You know, I love naming something.
- [31:47]
A
There we go.
- [31:48]
B
And she realized there were people that she was wanting to see, specifically women that, you know, it's like, oh, let's try to do this. Oh, it's too hard. And wasn't seeing people. So she decided that she would say every Friday at 7am she was going to do Fryman Canyon and invite women to join her. And you can come or not come. It's something you don't actually have to RSVP to. You can just show up at 7:00am Interesting.
- [32:16]
A
Okay.
- [32:16]
B
Although I always give a. Like if I'm coming because I do think it's still helpful to know who's coming. And it's just this lovely thing where I'm getting to know the. These women that I didn't know. A couple of my friends are in it, but most of them I had never met before. But they're great women. And it's just so fun to get up and have done Fryman Canyon.
- [32:40]
A
Yeah.
- [32:40]
B
And have had great conversation. If you want to, you can go for coffee after. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Just depending on, you know, my schedule. And I give her great credit because she said, you know what? I have this need in my life. And she set about to do it and everybody was like, this is a great idea. And now it's this amazing new thing in my life.
- [33:03]
A
Well, it's so energizing to meet new people and make new friends. And it's energizing to see old friends. And it's energizing to hike Fryman Canyon, which is something that you always want to do. And you really like to do it with friends. You like to do it as a social thing too. So this is perfect for you. But again, this is a great example of like, she had to put herself out there. She had to risk the chance that nobody would want to do it. And she. I feel like nobody wants to do my trail and talk. It is interesting that she set it up so that it's just. It's a standing date. We've talked about the advantages of a standing date where it happens, whoever comes. And so you don't have to track RSVPs. There is something about that, because I think some people do like that. They like the flexibility of that and the serendipity.
- [33:45]
B
Yeah. And she does every Thursday say, hey, tomorrow, trail and talk. And here's the info. And you can bring a friend because one thing is you can bring a friend because you think, oh, I think these people would like this woman. Or I think this woman would enjoy this, which is how I got involved. You know, my friends invited me. So yeah, big gold star. Big gold star. Starting a group, Gretch, it's one of the surest ways to be happy is start a group.
- [34:11]
A
Start a group. The resource for this week Research shows that we can enjoy happy experiences twice. Once when they happened and again when we remember them. And so that is one reason that I love creating a five Senses portrait. Because when you think about what am I seeing? Hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, it helps you remember that. It helps you look forward to whatever you're going to experience. Summer is the perfect time for this exercise. If you would like a place to capture your own five senses portrait of summer, My Five Senses Journal is available in the shop. And as a happier listener, you can get 20% off with code HAPPIER20. Go to happiercast.com shop and search for the Five Senses Journal. Love a Five Senses portrait. Yes, Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading?
- [34:58]
B
I am reading More Than Enough by Anna Quindlen.
- [35:01]
A
And I am reading the Things We Never say by Elizabeth Strout. And remember, you can listen to our book club interview with Elizabeth Strout. We had a great time talking to her. Yes. And that's it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Please rsvp and that's. That's a double. Please. If you know your French, let us know if you tried it and if it works for you.
- [35:23]
B
Thanks to our executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada.
- [35:27]
A
And here's your rhyming reminder. If you enjoy the podcast, tell your friends fast.
- [35:32]
B
Until next week. I'm Elizabeth Craft.
- [35:34]
A
And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward,
- [35:51]
B
Gretch. I have to admit to you, I had to be reminded to RSVP to something recently and boy, did I feel guilty. Now the second I got the reminder, though, I did do it. And it was a case where I knew I'd been invited, but I couldn't find the invitation.
- [36:07]
A
Yes, I know.
- [36:09]
B
Luckily, they send out those reminders.
- [36:12]
A
Yeah, it's. There's a lot of ways to get invitations these days. Athletic Brewing Company crafts award winning non alcoholic beers for those who want to be part of every round. With over 185 flavor awards, they're exceptional NA beers that fit your lifestyle and any social occasion. Summer's full of good times and Athletic fits right in. Go to athleticbrewing.com to have brews delivered to your door or find them at a bar, restaurant or store near you. Near Beer Athletic Brewing Co. Fit for all times.