Little Happier: When Your Life's Work Chooses You: The Beauty and Burden of a Calling - Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Summary4 min read

Happier with Gretchen Rubin: Episode Summary

Episode Title: Little Happier: When Your Life's Work Chooses You: The Beauty and Burden of a Calling
Release Date: January 6, 2025
Host: Gretchen Rubin
Cohost: Elizabeth Craft
Sales and Distribution: Lemonada Media

Introduction: Exploring the Concept of a Calling

In this introspective episode of Happier with Gretchen Rubin, host Gretchen Rubin delves deep into the intricate concept of a "calling"—a profound, often irresistible feeling that one is destined to pursue a particular path or vocation. Drawing from personal experiences and literary references, Rubin examines both the alluring and challenging facets of feeling called to a specific life’s work.

Personal Anecdote: The Influence of Art on Understanding Calling

Rubin begins by recounting a family trip to see Sequence 8, a captivating performance by Montreal-based artist collective Seven Fingers. While the show itself—a blend of circus and dance—left a strong impression, it was the playbill that sparked her contemplation on the nature of a calling.

"Several years ago, my family and I went to see Sequence 8... But as much as I enjoyed the show, I was just as interested in the playbill."
(00:02)

This reflection leads her to explore how performers in the playbill had felt a compelling urge to join the circus, often making significant life changes to follow their passion.

The Dual Nature of a Calling: Beauty and Burden

Rubin articulates the paradoxical nature of a calling. On one hand, a calling is described as wonderful—clear, urgent, and fulfilling. On the other hand, it can also be a burden, implying no choice and causing great pain when deciding against it.

"In some ways, a call is wonderful. It's clear, it's urgent, it's fulfilling. But in some ways, and for some people, a call isn't wonderful. A call means no choice, or at least great pain in making another choice."
(05:30)

She references Flannery O'Connor's novel Wise Blood to illustrate the internal struggle and turmoil that can accompany a calling, emphasizing that for some, the desire to follow a call can lead to self-destructive behavior in resistance to it.

The Impact of a Calling on Success and Practice

Rubin contemplates whether having a calling aids in achieving success. She suggests that a calling may facilitate perseverance and dedication, making the practice of one’s craft more natural and enjoyable.

"I imagine it does help, because a call makes it easier to practice."
(10:15)

She cites Logan Pearsall Smith’s insight: "the test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves," highlighting that a true calling involves finding joy even in the mundane aspects of one's work.

Personal Reflections and Gratitude

Sharing her own journey, Rubin discusses her unwavering commitment to writing over pursuing a potentially more lucrative career in law. She expresses how the feeling of being called to write provides her with a profound sense of peace and belonging, yet acknowledges that this intense focus can also lead to certain drawbacks.

"I feel unsettled at any time when I'm not writing, and I mean that there's a sense of peace and of being in the right place that I experience only when I'm writing."
(14:50)

Despite these challenges, she conveys deep gratitude for the ability to follow her passion, recognizing how fortunate she is to have circumstances that allow her to answer her call to writing.

The Distinction Between a Call and a Moment of Obligation

Rubin explores the difference between a general sense of a calling and what she terms a "moment of obligation." Drawing from an interaction with a grant-awarding individual, she defines a moment of obligation as recognizing a specific problem and feeling personally responsible for addressing it.

"Did you feel a moment of obligation? Meaning did you spot a problem and decide that you were the one who had an obligation to fix it?"
(20:40)

She contrasts this with broader notions of a calling, suggesting that while both involve a sense of duty, a calling is often more encompassing and deeply rooted in one’s identity and purpose.

Conclusion: Reflecting on Personal Experiences with Calling

In wrapping up, Rubin invites listeners to reflect on their own experiences with calling. She poses thoughtful questions about whether they have felt a calling or observed others grappling with theirs, and whether such experiences have been sources of pleasure or pain.

"Have you ever felt a call or been around someone who felt a call? And to do what? Was it pleasurable or painful?"
(25:10)

Rubin concludes with her signature warmth, wishing listeners a happier week and encouraging them to contemplate the role that a calling plays in their lives.

"I'm Gretchen Rubin and I hope this makes your week a little happier."
(27:00)

Key Takeaways

Dual Nature of Calling: While a calling can provide fulfillment and clarity, it may also impose a sense of obligation and limit alternative choices.
Personal Identity and Vocation: Embracing a calling often becomes integral to one's identity, fostering dedication but potentially leading to internal conflict when external circumstances conflict with one's vocation.
Distinguishing Moments of Obligation: Recognizing specific instances where one feels compelled to address particular issues can differ from a broader, life-defining calling.
Reflection and Gratitude: Acknowledging and appreciating the ability to follow one's calling can enhance personal happiness and satisfaction.

This episode offers a nuanced exploration of what it means to feel called to a certain path, encouraging listeners to examine their motivations and the complexities that accompany the pursuit of their passions.

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Transcript1 lines

[00:02]
A
Lemonade. I'm Gretchen Rubin, and this is a little happier. Several years ago, my family and I went to see Sequence eight, a performance by the Seven Fingers, an artist collective based in Montreal, Canada. It was a performance that was part circus, part dance. It was beautiful and thought provoking. But. But as much as I enjoyed the show, I was just as interested in the playbill. Now, I've thought a lot about what it means to experience a call that is a powerful, practically irresistible feeling that you're meant to do a certain kind of work. I certainly felt a call to writing. It took me a while to hear it and follow it, but I remember thinking, well, at this point, I'd rather fail as a writer than succeed as a lawyer. I remember quoting Juvenal to my father, an inveterate and incurable itch for writing besets many and grows old with their sick hearts. I didn't want that to happen to me. I was struck by the evidence in the playbill that many of these performers had felt a call to the circus. Here's a sampling from Several bios in 2028, his life took a serious turn when he abandoned his studies at McGill University and entered the National Circus School of Montreal, in what was decidedly one of the best decisions of his life. Discovered circus at age 8. Immediately impassioned, he tried every circus experience he could. Was barely 5 when he entered the San Francisco School of Circus Arts. I once met a woman who'd left her family and dropped out of school in her early teens to become a juggler. When I expressed surprise, she said, I just had to do everything I could to learn to juggle. This may sound comical, as I say it, but in the moment it was a profound and almost terrifying statement. In some ways, a call is wonderful. It's clear, it's urgent, it's fulfilling. But in some ways, and for some people, a call isn't wonderful. A call means no choice, or at least great pain in making another choice. Some people don't want to be called to do the kind of work they feel called to do. This reminds me of one of my favorite novels, Flannery O'Connor's Wise Blood, where Hazel Moats destroys himself and redeems himself in his struggle against his call. Also, a call is no guarantee of success. Now, does a call help? I imagine it does help, because a call makes it easier to practice. Logan Pearsall Smith wrote, the test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves. Now, there are good and bad aspects to this. I feel unsettled at any time when I'm not writing, and I mean that there's a sense of peace and of being in the right place that I experience only when I'm writing. You can see how that attitude might have its drawbacks. I feel immense gratitude every single day that the circumstances of my life make it possible for me to answer my call to writing. I remember talking to a group of first year medical students. I was asking them how they got into medicine and they had many different answers. One said, I've always been fascinated by biology and the human body. Another said, both my parents are doctors. And another said, from the time I was a child, I've known I was going to be a doctor. The last answer sounds like a call to me. All three students could make excellent doctors, but having a call may make that experience different. Is a call the same as a Moment of obligation? I heard this term from someone who awards grants to people who start public interest projects. She explained that when they were evaluating people as possible grant recipients, they asked, did you feel a moment of obligation? Meaning did you spot a problem and decide that you were the one who had an obligation to fix it? Many of the people they funded had these moments. Like I was reading about the malaria problem and I thought someone should come up with a better way to distribute nets. And then I realized I should be the one. How about you? Have you ever felt a call or been around someone who felt a call? And to do what? Was it pleasurable or painful? It can be many things. I'm Gretchen Rubin and I hope this makes your week a little happier. From the Onward Project.