More Happier: Gretchen’s & Elizabeth’s Dog Decisions

Summary

Happier with Gretchen Rubin: Episode Summary

Episode Title: More Happier: Gretchen’s & Elizabeth’s Dog Decisions
Release Date: April 19, 2025
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft
Podcast: Happier with Gretchen Rubin / The Onward Project

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1. Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Gretchen and her cohost, Elizabeth Craft, delve into the pivotal decision-making process surrounding pet ownership, specifically focusing on the pros and cons of getting a dog. Celebrating the podcast’s 10th anniversary, the hosts reflect on their personal journeys with their beloved pets and engage with a listener's dilemma about introducing a dog into their family.

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2. Listener's Dilemma: To Get a Dog or Not

The episode centers around a listener who is conflicted about getting a dog. The listener shares that while their two daughters (ages 16 and 10) and husband are eager to welcome a dog into the family, she harbors reservations due to the anticipated responsibilities and time commitments.

Notable Quotes:

• Listener [02:28]: "If the dog is throwing up in the middle of the day, I'm gonna clean it up. If the dog has to go to the groomers, I'm gonna take it."
• Listener [05:24]: "It's less stress. It helps people. People have less depression. You know, it's all the joy of that unconditional love."

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3. Understanding the Reluctance

Elizabeth empathizes with the listener, recalling her own childhood with their family dog, Paddy Wag. She suggests that the listener's hesitation may stem from a fear of being the primary caregiver, similar to her mother's experience.

Notable Quotes:

• Elizabeth [03:21]: "Our dog. Yeah. Who I desperately wanted in third grade, and... we got a dog."
• Elizabeth [04:29]: "It's gonna be on you. And by the way, Eliza and Eleanor are gonna be out of the house eventually."

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4. The Benefits of Dog Ownership

The discussion shifts to the numerous benefits that owning a dog can bring, supported by happiness and health research. The listener acknowledges the positive impacts but remains anxious about the practicalities.

Insights:

• Dogs encourage more physical activity, often surpassing gym memberships in promoting exercise.
• They reduce stress levels and alleviate symptoms of depression.
• The unconditional love and companionship from dogs enhance personal relationships and overall happiness.

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5. Decision-Making Framework: Choosing the Bigger Life

Gretchen introduces a crucial decision-making tool called "Choose the Bigger Life." This framework helps individuals prioritize what will contribute more significantly to their long-term happiness and growth.

Notable Quotes:

• Gretchen [09:07]: "...the bigger life could be to have a dog."
• Gretchen [12:32]: "Choose the bigger life. Of course, this is exactly the same logic that we are using when we are deciding to get Taffy, our new dog."

Application:

• Listener [14:10]: As an Upholder in the Four Tendencies framework, she recognizes the importance of making decisions aligned with her personal values rather than succumbing to external pressures.

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6. Making the Decision and Moving Forward

After thoughtful deliberation, the listener decides to embrace the "Choose the Bigger Life" philosophy and opts to get a dog, prioritizing her family's happiness and the anticipated personal growth over her initial apprehensions.

Notable Quotes:

• Listener [12:20]: "...we are getting a dog."
• Elizabeth [16:49]: "Nacho is adorable. We all agree that. We all agree that we should go outside and play with Nacho."

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7. Hosts’ Personal Journeys and Experiences

Gretchen and Elizabeth share their own experiences with their dogs, highlighting the joy and fulfillment that pets bring into their lives. Elizabeth recounts her initial skepticism about becoming a dog person, which transformed after welcoming Nacho, a corgi, into her family.

Notable Quotes:

• Elizabeth [19:12]: "I have wanted one for, like, eight years, even before. Before we had a dog."
• Gretchen [26:59]: "It is such a huge idea. And it helps, like, in deciding to travel with the dogs."

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8. Real-Life Application: Traveling with Dogs

Elizabeth narrates a significant moment when she decided to take her dogs on a five-hour car trip to pick up their son from camp—a step she never imagined she’d take. This decision exemplifies the "Choose the Bigger Life" principle, leading to unexpected positive outcomes and strengthening the family bond.

Notable Quotes:

• Elizabeth [24:35]: "And it was like a miracle."
• Gretchen [26:47]: "It's one of the secrets of adulthood."

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9. Reflections and Closing Thoughts

The episode wraps up with Gretchen reflecting on one of her favorite stories from her book A Little Happier, drawing parallels between the timeless love in the story and their enduring relationship with their dog, Barnaby. The hosts emphasize that love and pet ownership are integral to their sense of family and happiness.

Notable Quotes:

• Gretchen [27:55]: "We hope you're feeling happier after this episode."
• Listener [29:48]: "We've had Barnaby always."

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10. Key Takeaways

• Decision-Making: Utilizing frameworks like "Choose the Bigger Life" can help align decisions with personal growth and long-term happiness.
• Benefits of Pet Ownership: Dogs can significantly enhance physical health, mental well-being, and familial relationships.
• Personal Growth: Embracing responsibilities, even those initially daunting, can lead to unexpected joy and fulfillment.
• Family Dynamics: Pets can serve as a unifying factor, fostering shared interests and activities among family members.

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Conclusion

In "More Happier: Gretchen’s & Elizabeth’s Dog Decisions," Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft offer a compelling exploration of the complexities involved in deciding to add a dog to the family. Through a listener’s real-life dilemma, personal anecdotes, and effective decision-making strategies, the episode underscores the profound impact that pets can have on our happiness and personal growth. The hosts' transparent discussions and heartfelt stories provide invaluable insights for anyone contemplating a similar life-changing decision.

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Note: This summary excludes all advertisement segments and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's meaningful discussions and insights.

Transcript

[Gretchen Rubin]

The weather is warming up and it is time for picnics.

[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

Visit coopsleepgoods.com happier to get 20% off your first order. That's co p sleepgoods.com happier.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Lemonada.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Hello, we're here for more Happier, a podcast where we talk about getting pep. Here. Everyone has been so supportive and enthusiastic about my new dog extravaganza that we thought it would be fun to go back to where this entire dog conversation started.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. And fittingly, in our 10th anniversary, your dog, I'll call it your dog journey, started back in 2015 when you gave yourself a demerit for being indecisive about whether or not to get a dog.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And you ended up getting Barnaby.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. Let's take a listen.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Now it's time for demerits and gold stars.

[Listener]

So, Elizabeth, I'm up for demerit. And can your gold star for this week be that you're gonna let me talk the whole time about my demerit and just, like, give me advice and solace?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Absolutely. Diving into your happiness. Demerit will give me great pleasure.

[Listener]

Okay, good.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Let's do it.

[Listener]

Okay. Pleasure and a gold star. Okay, so this is what it is. My two daughters, Eliza and Eleanor, who are age 16 and 10, desperately want a dog. And my husband's game for dog. Like, he wouldn't come home and say, hey, honey, let's get a dog. But he's like, yeah, that's cool. Let's get a dog. Amazing. And my demerit is that I am just this killjoy who does not want a dog.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, that's a big One that's, like, there's no middle ground there. You either get the dog or you don't get the dog.

[Listener]

Yeah. No, yeah. The ideal middle ground would be, like, we post a picture of a dog on a refrigerator.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Right. Well, that's. Yeah. For you. Now, I'm guessing. You know, I'm thinking back to our own childhood.

[Listener]

We had Paddy Wag, our schnauzer.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Our dog. Yeah. Who I desperately wanted in third grade, and. And I wore mom and dad down, and we got a dog.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I'm guessing the main reason you don't want a dog is because you think the same thing will happen to you that happened to mom, which is she ended up doing 99.9% the paddy whack, you know, caregiving.

[Listener]

Yeah. No, and this is what I was saying to my family is I was like, if I was gonna have a dog the way you're gonna have a dog, I'd be totally fine with having a dog. If I could walk it every once in a while and, like, put some dog food in the dog dish and then, like, buy a bone from the pet store, that'd be great. But I'm like, I'm the one realistically where that, like, if the dog is throwing up in the middle of the day, I'm gonna clean it up. If the dog has to go to the groomers, I'm gonna take it. If the dog gets sick in the middle of the day and, like, shaking with fear because the little dog hates going to the vet so much, that's gonna be me. And my husband Jamie was like, well, I'll do it. And I'm like, yeah, but look, realistically, yes. You say you're gonna do it, and if we get a dog, I'm gonna hold you to that, like, as if you signed in blood. But it's the middle of the day. You're in a suit in midtown in a meeting with 10 people. I'm in yoga clothes in my office writing a blog post. It's just gonna be the sensible solution.

[Elizabeth Craft]

It's gonna be on you. And by the way, Eliza and Eleanor are gonna be out of the house eventually.

[Listener]

Yeah. Eliza's gonn. Eleanor. I mean, it all passes so in a flash. And the thing about me is, like, I hate errands. I hate trouble. I hate, like, you know, making a. I hate calling. So I hate, like, call to make an appointment and then make an appointment and then go. And it sort of seems like it takes up the whole day. And.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, Gretch, let me ask you this. Do you like dogs?

[Listener]

If we had a dog, I would love our dog. You know, I feel confident about that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I'm sure you would love the dogs of all of our listeners who listen to us while they're walking their dogs.

[Listener]

Yes, your dog podcast listeners. Yes. Love your dogs. Yes, we love your dogs.

[Elizabeth Craft]

All right, great. So I've heard why you don't want a dog, but I know you're like the research nut, and I know you've got research about the good things about having a pet.

[Listener]

Yes. No. So I see very clearly why I don't want a dog. But I also see that it would make my family really happy. And there's so much research showing that pets make people happier and also healthier. For instance, people who own dogs get more exercise and enjoy more than people who belong to gyms. It's less stress. It helps people. People have less depression. You know, it's all the joy of that unconditional love. Relationships. We were just talking a minute ago how relationships make people happy. Relationships with dogs. So many people say, like, oh, you know, you walk in the house and your dog is so happy to see you, you know, and a friend of mine. A friend of mine said, he goes, you know, if you're thinking about whether to go to law school and you're not sure whether to go, don't go. But if you're thinking about whether to have a baby or not, yeah, have a baby. And I kind of feel the same thing about dogs. Like, people really love their dogs, and so I kind of intellectually think, if we had a dog, I would be happy with it, and I would love it, and I would be glad that we did it. It's just that teetering right now, on the edge of the decision.

[Elizabeth Craft]

You'Re filled with dread.

[Listener]

Exactly. Oh, yeah. That is. You put your finger on it. When I think about this, I'm filled with dread. I mean, you've got a pet. What do you think of it?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. Well, we have one cat, Blackjack, who I inherited when Adam and I got together. He had Blackjack before we met. Now, I have to say I am allergic to cats, so I don't know if I'm the right person to have this conversation with. I will say Blackjack is an incredibly sweet cat. And Jack, my son. Yes, we have black Jack and Jack in our house.

[Listener]

And your father's name is Jack, and my dad's name.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, absolutely. Loves Blackjack. And we've actually asked him, Jack, if he wants a dog. And his response is that he thinks Blackjack would not like us to get a dog. So I'm off the. The dog hook for the moment. But I do have a cat who makes my eyes itch. It's funny. It's one of the few times I've ever heard you go against one of your true rules, which is, you know, what's fun for everybody else might not be fun for me. You're fighting against that, and, you know, I guess my question is, where are you hoping this whole conversation ends? Are you hoping it ends with getting a dog or not getting a dog?

[Listener]

Well, I don't know. So, listeners, I don't know, like, tell me, should we get a dog? Should we not get a dog? Write us, call us. What should we think about? What should we consider? It's a huge decision. I mean, Elizabeth mom said to me, because I was saying to her, oh, you know, they want to get a dog. She's like, well, you know, we lived with Paddiwack longer than we lived with either you or Elizabeth.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Wow.

[Listener]

It's a big decision.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Wow.

[Listener]

You know, and that's part of it. You know, it's like you feel like it's not. It's not. It's not a fleeting decision. It's a big decision. And so I just. So anybody who has any advice or anything at all, please contact me immediately.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And, Gretch, I just want to go on the record as saying, controversial as this may be, I don't think you're a bad person for not wanting a dog. Dogs aren't for everyone, but I still hope you end up getting one.

[Listener]

Well, stay tuned, because I think a decision is going to be forced pretty quickly here.

[Elizabeth Craft]

All right, Gretchen, this week's Try this at Home has to do with the discussion we had in episode 24 about whether or not you should get a dog.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

There's been a lot of discussion, so I want the big reveal. What'd you decide?

[Listener]

Okay, so this is gonna be a very long winded answer. Okay. Now, I'm an upholder in the four tendencies framework, and I knew that I could say no. So I didn't feel like I had to say yes just because other people in my family wanted me to say yes. I felt that I could say no, and I knew that if I did say yes, it had to be because I was doing it for myself. And several listeners made this point, which is that if you do it for other people, you're gonna feel resentful because you'll end up doing a lot of work and you'll just feel put upon. And that's not even fair to the dog. It's not fair to you. So be very cautious. And so I knew if I did it, I had to be doing it for my own reasons, do it for myself. And so why would I do it for myself? And as I explained in episode 24, I was really caught between trying to make a decision because on the one hand, I know myself. I don't like errands, I don't like trouble. I'm not a dog person. I knew I would end up doing tons of work. Like it makes it harder to travel and make plans, on and on and on. But I also knew on the other side that all the happiness research suggests that dogs do a lot to make people happier and healthier. And it's a whole important relationship. And relationships build happiness. I knew it would make everybody in my family happy. And that's important to me. And I also really did suspect, and I do suspect that on the other side, I'll be glad that I got a dog. Like right now I'm like, eh, do I want a dog? But I thought if I had a dog, I thought I would look back and be like, yes, I'm glad I had a dog. And many listeners said that. They were like, I wasn't sure or I was scared of my dog or whatever, but now I'm glad I had my dog. So I was caught. I had these pros and cons. They felt very balanced and I didn't know what to do. And this is the try this at home, which I'm getting to slowly, which is how do you make a decision, an important decision when you feel like you're caught between the pros and the cons, you know, you've made your list on your legal pad and you can't figure out what to do. And so a friend of mine told me this thing that she thinks about and it's so helpful. So this is the try this at home tip. If you're caught trying to make a decision, choose the bigger life. And the thing that I love about this, and why choose the bigger life is so helpful, is that it's not the same for everyone. It reveals a lot about you to what you would decide was the bigger life. For some people, not getting a dog would be a bigger life because they want to travel, they want to have adventure, they want freedom, they want the money, they don't want to spend the money in that way. They have other important things that they need to do. And the bigger life would be. No, not to have the dog. But I realized that for me, the bigger life was to have the dog. Because I can only grow. I can only have the atmosphere of growth from the inside. Like, for me, it would be about a relationship. It would be like learning this whole new area of the world. You know, I've been reading all these dog books, you know, trying to think about it. It kind of opens up the world and it's going to be so important to my family. It'll be some whole new adventure, some whole new thing that we'll share.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So you are getting a dog?

[Listener]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay. We're getting a dog. We need a sound effect.

[Listener]

Yeah. Yes, we're getting a dog. Choose the bigger life. In my case and in the case of my family, that was the bigger life for us.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, choose the bigger life. Of course, this is exactly the same logic that we are using when we are deciding to get Taffy, our new dog. Our family is so happy that we made this decision 10 years ago and we're very excited to see how having another dog will change our lives, especially now in our open door era, you know, our empty nest bays. So, Elizabeth, let's come back with your dog journey.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Gretchen we always on this podcast talk about the importance of getting good sleep. And part of good sleep is a great pillow. There are side sleepers, back sleepers, even starfishes. I'm a side sleeper and it really matters how your pillow fits with your head, whatever position you're in. Gretchen I got a pillow from Coop Sleep Goods that is so perfect for me. I went from using like two pillows together that were not quite right to using my one Coop pillow, which is perfect. And it's for cool sleepers so I don't wake up all sweaty in the middle of the night. I love it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And also with Coop Sleep goods, you get 100 night free trial. 86% of sleepers reported better sleep after switching their pillows to coop. There are more than 100,000 five star reviews and over a million happy sleepers. Visit coopsleepgoods.com happier to get 20% off your first order. That's coop sleepgoods.com happier.

[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

The program will improve your kids grades. Backed by research, kids using IXL are.

[Listener]

Scoring higher on tests.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It will work for any of your kids. One in four students in the US are learning with IXL. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and happier with Gretchen Rubin. Listeners can get an exclusive 2020% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com Happier visit ixl.com Happier to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Gretch, it's hard to imagine a time when you didn't have a dog, let alone when I didn't have my two corgis.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. But Elizabeth, you surprised all of us by becoming a dog person. Nobody saw that coming. I think you least of all.

[Listener]

But you did.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I know. And now I'm a proud member of corgi nature and I love all dogs.

[Listener]

Elizabeth has a lot of news. And Elizabeth, our try this at home tip is to consider getting a dog. So tell us more.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Okay. So this obviously would not work for everyone, but I have to suggest it as a try this at home because it has worked so well for me. Gretch, we have our new puppy, Nacho.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

He is a corgi. He's about 15 weeks now.

[Listener]

Wow.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I'm not surprised by how happy Jack and Adam are with the addition of Nacho to the family.

[Listener]

They really have wanted a dog for a while.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. And they specifically were desperate to have a corgi.

[Listener]

And why. Why is that? Why the.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Why the corgi, they just love the way corgis look. Jack loves the way their faces look like fox faces.

[Listener]

They are so cute.

[Elizabeth Craft]

They had their hearts set on getting a corgi. I was very much on the fence about getting a dog much like you, Gretchen, before getting Barnaby.

[Listener]

Oh, yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But I have been so surprised by how happy Nacho makes me. And I really now am one of those people who wants everyone to get a dog.

[Listener]

And what. And specifically, what is it about having a dog that makes you happier, would you say? And your whole family?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Well, one, I must say, and I'm sure everyone feels this way about their dog. He is such a sweetheart. He's so cute and fun. But, you know, I found that it really gives us something to all rally around like we can. I had a friend who had three older children and Then he had another. A fourth. My friend Gage much later, and he would say, like, oh, everybody can agree that we love Nico. Everybody can agree that. That we just dote on Nico. And that's how I feel about Nacho. Like, we all agree that Nacho is adorable. We all agree that we should go outside and play with Nacho. And so it just gives us something as a family to do together that is just fun, and it's a great common interest.

[Listener]

Yeah. Well, I find that, like, when Eliza, you know, now she's got her own apartment and when she was in college and stuff, like, I could just send her a picture of Barnaby, and that would always make her happy. Or just all of us are always sending funny pictures of Barnaby. And it is. It's something that everybody's interested in.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Listener]

And I love cute photos of Nacho.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Listener]

Eliza and Eleanor are like, tell Elizabeth she needs to send more videos of Nacho.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Listener]

Everybody loves it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. We can send cute photos to each other and videos. Adam had a Halloween costume for Nacho. We're always, like, thinking of, what ball would Nacho like.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So it's just fun and it's. I don't know, it's just something active for us to do together.

[Listener]

Yes. Well, one of the things that the research shows about happiness is that for happiness, we need to be able to get support, but also give support. And I think one of the things about a dog is it gives you a being to care for and love and be responsible for, and that fosters love. So it's a relationship, but it's also a relationship where you really are supporting Nacho or Barnaby or whoever, and that itself is a source of happiness.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Especially as Jack gets older. It's nice to have a little being.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Who needs me now? I will say Gretchen, and I also recommend this to anyone who's getting a dog that sheds a lot, like we did. I said, okay, if we're getting a dog that sheds a lot, I am getting a Dyson Pet Vac.

[Listener]

Because you're just gonna splurge and, like, deal with it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I have wanted one for, like, eight years, even before. Before we had a dog. And so I just said, okay, this is my. Yeah, this is my splurge for getting the dog.

[Listener]

Right.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And the other funny thing, Gretch. So we've got our pet back, and then I have to apologize to everyone out there who's been talking to me about their dogs for the last 25 years, because I've never been interested in their Dog conversation. My eyes would just glaze over. And now I am one of those people who's interested in talking about dogs. Yeah. I find it fascinating now.

[Listener]

Yeah. I remember when we were getting Barnaby, I read, like, all these dog memoirs. There's all these really, really great dog memoirs. And it was like this whole part of the library, like, activated for me, which I had never paid any attention to before, that I would never have any interest in. And then I'm like, pack of two. Oh, it's a book I have to read.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. No, I'm like, and what. And which teething rings do you use? And what method? And do you close the crate door? Do you not close the crate door? I'm interested in every. No detail too.

[Listener]

Well, it's funny, because I know you and Sarah, your writing partner, Sarah, and in Happier in Hollywood, this is like a running theme. And you have that segment called Liz versus Sarah where you talk about things where you disagree. And this has always been one of these, like, Liz versus Sarah, where you were absolutely, like, no way, no how. I don't want a guinea pig. I do not. You know, like, I don't understand why you're even considering getting a giant Welsh rabbit. Yeah. Cause she's such a dog and animal person. But then in episode 234, I heard that you just said to Sarah, you win.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, I gave it up to her. I said, you know what? After all these years, I'm giving you this one. You're right about a pet making you happier.

[Listener]

But you know what? Speaking of Sarah and her pets, I did. It was hilarious, because I was asking about Nacho and whether he, like, jumped up on the furniture. Because, by the way, Barnaby is all over our furniture. We didn't even try to keep him off the furniture. And you said, well, I don't. Nacho can't jump up, and I don't know that he'll ever be able to jump up. And I was flashing back to the thing that I laugh at so hard from Happier in Hollywood when you said of the rabbit. Does it hop? Can it hop? You know, I have dog gates throughout.

[Elizabeth Craft]

My house, so keep the rabbit in.

[Gretchen Rubin]

A room that doesn't have a bunch of cords around.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So it won't be in a cage. It'll just be hopped. Does it even hop? Hop? Can it hop? Does it shuffle? I assume it hops. No, it'll have an indoor cage and an outdoor cage. Okay.

[Listener]

The Welsh giant rabbit.

[Elizabeth Craft]

They are very large rabbits. They do not look as if they could hop.

[Listener]

Yeah. Well, and corgis are not built for scaling high furniture. I would say they are not. Yeah, Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I will say they're the smallest of the herding dogs, which is interesting because he likes to herd the soccer ball. See, this is exactly the kind of conversation I would have had no interest in a few weeks ago. And now I'm sharing, so I have to keep an eye on myself so I don't bore anybody with my dog talk.

[Listener]

You gotta find your fellow pet fascinated, people.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Elizabeth, I know there's something you've been meaning to tell me.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Okay. Gretchen, this is, for me, huge. It may not sound huge to listeners, but for me, it is so big. So Adam and I went to pick up Jack at camp, which is about five hours north of where we are, so we stay over. So we drove up on a Friday, picked him up Saturday morning. And what I've been meaning to tell you is that we took Daisy and Nacho, our two corgis, with us.

[Listener]

Wow.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That is bold. And had they ever been on a car trip before?

[Elizabeth Craft]

No. No. I mean, I think the longest they'd been in a car was maybe, like, 45 minutes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So Adam brought this up because I'm like, we have to figure out what we're doing with the dogs. And he goes, actually, I thought we could take them with us. And I just said, no. I said, absolutely not. That will not go well. They'll be barking. We have a ton of stuff for Jack, like his trunk and his bag, and we don't know if they can travel, and on and on. And I just said, we can't do it. I mean. And I was so adamant that Adam was like, okay, I guess we're not bringing them. That was at night. I went to sleep, and I woke up in the morning, and true story. I was like, choose the bigger life. Your phrase that you say, which I think you have, like, on a pouch that you can buy.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Which I have.

[Listener]

I'll post. I'll post a link.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, I truly. I was like, choose the bigger life. And I was like, just do it. And it may not seem like a big deal, but I was just like, I've got to do this. It's an adventure. Think of it as an adventure and doing something new. It's one night, so it really is the perfect experiment because it's only one night. So I told Adam, yes, I will do it. He was thrilled. Now, of course, with such a to do, it's like having an infant. It requires so much extra stuff.

[Listener]

Yeah. Well.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And And.

[Listener]

And you were staying there overnight. So did.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It was fine to have dogs where you were staying.

[Listener]

How'd that work?

[Elizabeth Craft]

So I had to book a place where we could take dogs. Of course, there was a charge for that, but anyway, yeah, we booked a place near Jack's camp, the Shaver Lake Hotel. It had a little cabin. And we had to get all this stuff, like something for the back seat. We got extra toys and shoes and all this stuff just. Just in case we needed it. Packed up their food, all extra water. So much stuff.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And spoiler alert, they did great. And it was so much more fun to have them. So they did great. They didn't get, you know, they didn't throw up in the car or anything. And we got to this hotel, which is like, it's a, you know, very. It's a place where people come to, like, fish. So, you know, it's cabins and that kind of environment. And the dogs did not bark in the cabin at all. And it was like a miracle.

[Listener]

That is because they bark. They do bark.

[Elizabeth Craft]

They bark. As we sometimes hear on this podcast, they bark, but they didn't bark. They were just so in love with being somewhere new. And then what was great is in the, you know, we didn't tell Jack in our emails to him that we were bringing the dogs. So that was a great surprise for him. And then, and I'm sorry to be one of these people talking about my dogs, but the next day we had them out at a cafe, you know, after we picked up Jack and had breakfast, and they didn't bark at anybody. So it was just this great thing. And again, and I know I keep saying this, I am just so not the type of person who I ever thought would have dogs, much less travel with dogs. And it's like this unfolding thing of discovering, like, my new identity and new things that I like, and it just. And I. I've said this, it makes me feel so much more, like, hopeful and more happy about life in general and a reminder to choose the bigger life. You know, sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, but sometimes it does.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Elizabeth, it's interesting how this idea of choosing the bigger life comes back over and over again. It's one of the secrets of adulthood. I included that in my Secrets of Adulthood book. And just. We talk about it all the time.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, it is such a huge idea. And it helps, like, in deciding to travel with the dogs. You know, like, so much of me will say, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't but then if you think, well, choose a bigger life, sometimes having something more complicated or harder actually makes it bigger and better.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Absolutely. And we will be back with one of my very favorite episodes of A Little Happier, which was a story that I told that included a discussion of our dog, Barnaby. Welcome back to More Happier. It is so much fun to revisit our dog journeys. And this whole subject of getting a dog reminds me of one of my very favorite episodes of A Little Happier that I wrote about the arrival of our dog, Barnaby.

[Listener]

So, as I discussed on the Happier podcast, I went through a long debate with my family about whether we should get a dog. And of course, we did get a dog. We got our dog Barnaby. And we just had the second anniversary of getting Barnaby. It's hard to remember what life was like without him. It seems like he's been with us forever. And this thought, this observation, reminded me of the final paragraph of a beautiful children's book that I love called the Animal Family. This is a 1965 children's book by the poet and critic Randall Durrell, and it has breathtaking illustrations by Marie Sendak. It is a beautiful, timeless, quiet book. If you or your child has jangled nerves, read this book. I simply cannot resist reading the first few lines to give you a sense of the book. And the book opens, once upon a time, long, long ago, where the forest runs down to the ocean, a hunter lived all alone in a house made of logs he had chopped for himself and shingles he had split for himself. The house had one room, and at the end, closest to the ocean, there was a fireplace of pink and gray and green boulders. The hunter had carried them home in his arms from the cliff where the forest ended. So that gives you an idea of the book. So the hunter lives all alone, and then one night he hears singing and he sees that it's a mermaid singing, and he makes friends with a mermaid. And eventually the mermaid comes to live with him in his house made of logs. And the logistics of this are a little bit murky, but whatever. The mermaid comes to live with the hunter, and then some years pass and then they find a bear cub and they bring the bear to live with them. And some years pass and they have all these little adventures with the bear, and then they find a baby lynx, and the baby lynx comes to live with a family. And some years pass and they have a lot of little adventures with a bear and the lynx. And then there's a terrible storm and a shipwreck and a lifeboat floats up to the beach and they rescue a little baby boy. And so the boy comes to live with the family. And years pass and they have little adventures with the boy. And this is the final passage from the Animal Family. And the family is playing a game about the story about how the boy came to live with the family. The hunter said, the very first day your mother and I came to the house, there you were in the corner, fast asleep. That's right, fast asleep with him, said the boy, giving the bear a big push. Oh no, said the mermaid. That was years before the bear came. We've had you always. And this is how we feel about Barnaby. And here's the thing about love. It's easy to see how it stretches into the future. But the funny thing, it also changes the past. We've had Barnaby always.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, we hope you're feeling happier after this episode. Thanks for being on our dog journey now and over the years. Remember, remember, the best time to start a happiness project is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

[Listener]

From the onward project.

[Tamsin]

Life sure doesn't come with a roadmap, but what if you had a guide? I'm Tamsin, and on the Tamsen Show, I'm here to help you navigate midlife, menopause, career shifts and everything in between. Like a best friend or a big sister who's been there. With expert guests, real conversations and actionable advice. This is your go to podcast for living better, loving stronger and taking charge of your well being. Listen to the Tamsen show wherever you get your podcasts because it's time to own it.