← Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
More Happier: Movies That Represent Concepts, the Pleasure of Examples & QuirkyWays of Eating
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- [00:02]
A
Lemonada.
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B
Hello, we're here for more Happier a podcast where we get more of the happier podcast. It's a weekend vibe with some easier listening. Hey, Elizabeth.
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A
Hi, Gretch.
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B
Today we'll talk about a super fun question that I've been posing to everyone I talk to and we will explore a meal related quirk. But first, something making us happier. Elizabeth, what's making you happier?
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A
Gretch, what is making me happier is using an actual physical planner. I don't really do this. Usually I'm gonna have a calendar on my phone, but I usually don't use a planner. Sarah, my writing partner, is a huge fan of planners and has been for years, but I just on a whim decided this is gonna be the year of the planner for me. It's not on my 25 or 25 list. It came out of me just realizing I have so many things I'm tracking. I wanted different ways to do it. So I track my weight every day in the happier app.
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B
Yes.
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A
But I'm now tracking reading War and Peace every day, and I wanted to be able to see that on paper. And also I wanted to see my orange theory classes on paper. So I got a legend planner, which is what Sarah likes. So I just said, okay, I'll get what Sarah has. And I have to tell you, I am loving it.
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B
Oh, that's so great. There's something about an app. There's pros and cons of an app and there's pros and cons of paper. So it's great that you sense that paper is what you want for these certain things that you're doing in 2025.
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A
Yes. And I think it has to do with if I do things at different times of day. So like the app I use every morning at like 7:30, but with the War and Peace and with my class, they're all at different times. So I'm worried I'll forget if I don't have the thing there on my desk that I see and then triggers me writing it down.
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B
Oh, well, I can't wait to hear it goes out and it'll be a great keepsake at the end of the year.
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A
Oh, yes. Cause I'm writing down books, I'm reading little ideas I might have for the podcast. It's a great place just to collect information.
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B
Oops. That's so fun.
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A
So I may now be a planner person. Gretchen, we will see.
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B
Sarah is such a planner person. Maybe it's finally just rubbed off on you. You just because she's. She's just so into it. She's such the bullet journal queen that, like, every kind of journal. The happiness project. Yeah.
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A
Yeah, yeah. The funny thing is, I accidentally got the same color journal she has, so. Yeah, I gotta put stickers on it or something.
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B
Sure. Because you do not want to drive away from Ojai with the wrong planner. You'd have to drive right back, I'm sure.
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Yes. What about you, Gretch? What is making you happier?
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Well, you know, we got this lake house. Jamie and I. Dream come true. We have this house. And, you know, for a long time, I was like, well, it's so much responsibility. There's all this time, energy, and money. I don't like work, really, like, errands and things like that, but I love it. I really, really do love it. And it's worth it.
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Yeah.
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It's like, before you get a dog, you're like, oh, it's so much work. Who can be bothered? And then you have the dog, and you're like, it's worth it. And when we were thinking about getting it, I was very worried that I would regret it, that we would feel like, oh, my gosh, we've bit off more than we can chew, and we took on this big thing, and it's just not worth.
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A
Simple before, right?
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And, you know, people did say, like, oh, well, you gotta be prepared. And I do kind of have a lot of regret. I. You know, it's interesting. Jamie just pointed this out to me. He's like, oh, you with your regrets. And I was like, you're right. I do have a lot of regrets, you know, with, like, small things. Not like getting a dog, but, like, oh, I bought this item in black instead of blue or whatever. Like, overthink things sometimes. And so I was worried that I would come to that. Jamie really wanted it, so he was definitely taking the lead on driving it. And I thought, well, I hope that we're not getting it, because he thinks it's gonna. And then the end, all of my fears will come true. But it's wonderful. It's such. We're so fortunate. We're so incredibly fortunate to be able to do it. And I feel that. Like, I really, really, truly do feel that. And so it is really making me happier. I feel so, so, so lucky. We both do.
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A
Well, and having been there, I get it. I love being there.
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Well, that's part of what made me happy, is it was so fun to have, like, all the family there, and it was just, like, so fun and so different for all of us.
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A
So, so different. You haven't lived in a house. I mean, not that you're living there full time, but just being in a house is for you.
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B
Absolutely. No, it's a completely different feeling. Yeah.
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A
All right, Gretch. Coming up, we have a fun discussion about quality screen time. But first this break.
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Elizabeth, you and I, we love our dogs, Barnaby, Nacho, Daisy, and we want to feed them a healthy diet that is an investment in their health, their longevity. It keeps them from having to make visits to the vet. And one thing I know about Barnaby is he loves his food. And with Maeve, I just poured the food out of the bag and serve it frozen. And he's excited to eat it.
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There's something for every style in every home, no matter what your space or budget. And free and easy shipping, even on the big stuff. They'll even help you set it up.
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Give your home the refresh it needs with wayfair. Head to wayfair.com right now.
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That's W A Y-F-A-I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. Okay, it's time for quality screen time. And Elizabeth, this is a question that I am asking everybody. I think it's such a fun mental puzzle. You and I are going to talk about it and then we encourage listeners to stop and think of their own answers because it's fun to see what you can come up with and then hear what other people say. Like, every time somebody suggests something new for this list, I'm like, oh, it's another one. Like, you know, it's fun to generate examples of things. So the question for this quality screen time is, okay, thinking about movies, or it could be a TV show, but these are all movies. There are some movies that stand for a concept. Now, I've asked you this and, like, explained it to you enough so that you could be thinking about it. But I'll explain it, and then you can say the example that you gave me before, and then I will give you all the examples that I've come up with. Okay, so the idea is a movie stands for concept, so clearly. And it's a concept of something that we experience in everyday life that is so familiar that to invoke that concept to convey to somebody what you're thinking and feeling, all you do is reference a movie, and they're like, oh, I get it. So, for instance, all you have to do to somebody is say, hey, it's Groundhog Day. And everybody knows what that means. Like, I'm in a day that's just repeating over and over and over and over again, and I can't escape it. It's like, groundhog Day perfectly captures that concept. So when I explained this to you, I was like, give me an example so I know you understand that I've explained my idea. And what was the example you gave?
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A
Well, Gretchen, the first one that popped in my head was When Harry Met Sally, which to me was best friends falling in love. So you go, it's When Harry Met Sally situation.
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Yes, When Harry Met Sally. People know that that's what that means. Okay, so let's go through some examples. And, like, I've been thinking about these examples, and I've been asking everybody I know. So this is a long list. And I think it's so fun because it's true. These are movies that so masterfully convey an idea. So one is the Matrix. Everybody knows what you mean by the Matrix.
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A
Sliding Doors is a big one. People say all the time, yes.
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It's like, oh, Sliding Doors situation. You get it. This is interesting. So Eliza said Citizen Kane. And what I think that the concept of Citizen Kane is, there's something deep in your past that people don't know about that is influencing you. So if you're like, oh, well, there's a Citizen Kane situation, you're like, that to me is what that means. I felt like that was sort of an edge case. But interesting.
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Yes, Rosebud.
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Yes.
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Truman Show. And that's how the reality show of it all, of course.
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Well, in fact, Truman show is so neatly describes a concept that there is something called Truman Show Syndrome. So that is actually a syndrome that people can show because it so perfectly explains what people are thinking if they're having a Truman show set of beliefs.
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A
There's also Gretch Gaslight, which I feel like gaslight right now is one of the most popular phrases out there. People are always talking about being gaslit. And a lot of people don't know that there's a movie called Gaslight that that comes from.
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Right, exactly.
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The guy was turning the gaslights off and on and telling his wife that he was not doing that.
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Yes. Right. So it's like making someone feel like they're insane and that they don't understand reality because you're secretly tricking them. Yeah. That's kind of an example, like Kleenex, where, like, so the brand name has. Has come to stand for the place so much that it's lost its sort of brand identity and just become a name for a thing. Gaslight has just become a verb. Another one is her. I think people are talking about her a lot these days because of all of the rapid advancements in AI.
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Yes. Sophie's Choice. That's a big one.
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Yeah.
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People say that a lot.
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Yeah. For like, a gut wrenching, impossible decision where there's no choice to be made. And related to Sophie's Choice, it's kind of like a catch 22 where there's, like a no win situation with, you know, people are trapped in contradictory rules. So those are slightly different concepts, but related.
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A
Yes. There's also Freaky Friday, which is switching roles or perspectives, often through a dramatic or unexpected reverse.
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Yeah, right.
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And say it's a Freaky Friday situation.
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Yeah. Yeah. Well, that might happen to you, Elizabeth, in Hollywood, where like, someone's assistant becomes the director or something like that. And you're like, okay, Freaky Friday, Fatal Attraction. That's where someone goes. You have some kind of romantic connection. And it goes wildly wrong.
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Yes. Zelig, which is a person, somehow changes his appearance and behavior. So he fits in everywhere and pops up everywhere.
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Yeah, somebody like that. Now, here's one that this is a movie that I barely remember, but it's being there. And in being there, like this very, very simple and naive person is sort of launched almost accidentally out into the world. And everybody around him perceives him to be having these deep insights. Cause they attribute so much to it. It's kind of like in Big, where the kid, they're like, oh, my gosh, he's got all these deep insights. Cause he's actually like a child. Or if, you know, Mr. Dick and David Copperfield, where he's this simple person, but everybody is like, oh, he's so wise. But I don't know that being there now is like. Because it's such an old movie, and it was never such a huge movie. I don't know that you could invoke that. You know, I have never, ever seen the movie Forrest Gump. Does Forrest Gump have that meaning? I don't know.
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I don't think so. I mean, he is more of a Zelig, I guess I would say.
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Okay.
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Because he pops up everywhere.
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Okay. I just think this is super fascinating. I would love if people sent us more examples, because I'm sure there's many, many more examples. But it's just. It's so satisfying. And then, Elizabeth, we were sort of also talking about how sometimes a character can stand for, like, a whole set of attributes. Or, like, you just refer to someone. Like, you just say, oh, well, someone is like Scrooge. And, you know, this is like some super mean, miserly person. Like, oh, Scrooge.
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Or a Jekyll and Hyde. They're nice half the time and really not nice the other half.
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Or you say, it's wizard of Oz. There's, like, a little man behind the curtain. It's like, not the person that it's cracked up to be.
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Another one. Gretch is Godfather. The Godfather. Someone where you have to always kiss their ring.
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Mary Poppins is like, the person who's, like, a magical caretaker of children.
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Yes.
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So anyway, I love this. I've been thinking about different pleasures, and I feel like there's a better word for this, but I'm calling it, in my mind, the Pleasure of Examples. And I notice this a lot of time when I'm doing Little Happiers where I'm talking about a principle. And then if I give two or three examples, or, like, here we've had many examples. There's like, a kind of an intellectual pleasure. I guess it's a kind of satisfaction of curiosity. Or, like, it's the pleasure of seeing examples that are exemplifying an idea or a principle. And I don't know why, but now that I'm looking for the pleasure of examples, I see it around a lot that we often are trading examples or, like, even something like, you know, have you ever done the thing where like, let's just tell riddles. Like, nobody knows any riddles. People will randomly come up with riddles. There's just something about having examples that's satisfying. I don't know. It's interesting.
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A
Yeah. The examples, to me, it's like completing a mental jigsaw. Puzzles, like making the pieces fit together. And that's just satisfying.
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Exactly. It's that thing snapping into place and, like, fitting just perfectly. You're like, yes, Groundhog Day. It perfectly exemplifies a concept. And there's just something intellectually satisfying about that. It makes me very happy.
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A
Good.
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I love identifying a new pleasure.
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A
Good, good. Well, Gretchen, what is our spotlight on a tool this week?
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B
Okay. Well, if you want to feel happier this year and you're not sure where to start, I have more than a million. Okay. Yes. I have to pause and give myself credit. There are more than a million subscribers to my newsletter. It is free. It is once a week. It's called five Things Making Me Happy. I have so much fun doing this every week. It is a highlight of my week to think of what I'm gonna put on there. And so each Friday, you get a roundup of what's making me happy. It's like observations, insights, things that are funny, funny words that I've learned, all kinds of stuff. It does things making me happy. It is free. You can sign up@happiercast.com newsletter. I love it. Elizabeth, you're starting a newsletter and I think you're really going to just enjoy doing it because I love doing my newsletter.
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A
Yes, Sarah and I are all about our new substack that we're launching. By the way, if anybody wants to sign up, it's at happier in Hollywood. Podstack.com newsletter it up.
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B
They really are an engine of happiness. It makes it much more fun to read your email if you're getting a fun newsletter. I find.
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A
Yes, I agree. Okay, Gretch, coming up, you've been meaning to ask me a question about meal time. But first, this break. You know how sometimes a meal leaves you energized and other times sluggish, foggy, or even hungrier. That may be your glucose talking foods that are sugar and carb heavy and you know my experience here, cause your body's glucose levels to spike, often followed by a crash. This matters because it turns out 88% of us have suboptimal metabolic health. So glucose could be the next big thing to track when it comes to health. That's why we're excited about Lingo, a new biowearable from Abbott that tracks your glucose in real time.
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B
I've been wearing Lingo for weeks now and I've learned that for my body. If I move around after I eat a meal, my spike is much more gradual, much lower, and so learned that I just need to get up and move around after I eat. What works for me might work very differently for you, but that's what works for my body. To see how your body responds to food and learn what you can do to improve your metabolism, try Lingo. It starts at $49 for a two week plan. No prescription needed for a limited time. Save 10% on your first order with happier@hello lingo.com the Lingo Glucose System is.
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For users 18 years and older not on insulin. It is not intended for diagnosis of diseases including diabete. For more information, please visit hello lingo.com.
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B
Us this new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts and exclusive Audible originals that'll inspire and motivate you. Just open the app and tap into your well being with advice and insight from leading influencers, experts and professionals. Whatever your focus or interest, there's a Listen for it on Audible. You'll find titles on better health, including personal fitness, nutrition and relaxation.
- [17:42]
A
Here are ways to improve your relationships, both in your work and personal life, or how to embark on a new career strategy. If you want to overhaul your financial life or hear smart talk about investing for your future, you'll find that too. Ultimately, it's all about starting good habits. Making a positive change is the best resolution you can make for yourself, and Audible can help. There's so much opportunity and more to imagine when you listen. Let Audible help you reach the goals you set for yourself. Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com happier okay Gretch, there's something you've been meaning to ask me.
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B
Yeah, so it's about meal time. So my question is when you eat a meal, do you eat one item, like all of it and then you move on to the next item? Or do you alternate among and do you just to have a little bit of this, a little bit of that? Are you like 1 2, 3, 1 2, 3? How do you eat?
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A
Gretch? I alternate. I am dedicated to alternating. Okay, I must alternate. In fact, if I'm given like part of a meal at a restaurant, but not the other part yet, I'll wait for the other part. I just need to alternate.
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Okay.
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Unless it's an actual Appetizer. But usually if I'm getting an appetizer, I say I want it at the same time as my meal. Interesting.
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B
And why is that? You like variety?
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I don't know. I just like the feeling of going around. I don't know what it is. It's just I've always been that way. I'm very dedicated to it.
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How did I not know this about you?
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Well, I assume I always think of you as being an alternator. Are you an alternator?
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I'm not like a 1, 2, 3. I just do what I feel like. I feel like my enjoyment's more when I switch back and forth. Do you do, like, one bite? One bite. One bite, or you kind of.
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No, not necessarily. I don't keep that close to track, but it probably isn't far from that.
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Yeah.
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A
Now, what I will say Adam is a person who eats one thing, then another thing, and even after all these years, I'm not used to it. And I'll say to him, like, oh, you don't want to eat your corn. Oh, you don't want to eat your sprouts? And he's like, no, I'm going to eat them. I just haven't gotten to them yet. Because he eats one at a time.
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We'll see. Okay. Does he clean his plate?
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Not. I don't know. That's a good question. I haven't honed in on that.
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B
I think one of the reasons that I alternate is that I don't want to get too full and want to stop eating and then not really enjoy something like, oh, I haven't eaten any of the broccoli because I'm too full from the salmon or whatever. And so I want to have some salmon. Have some broccoli. Have some salmon. Have some broccoli. So then if I run out of appetite. But I could imagine if you're somebody where you're like, well, I'm going to eat everything on my plate. You know, Some people just do that. Then you wouldn't care about that because you're like, well, I'm gonna eat all the sprouts anyway.
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A
Right? That's a good question. It's funny cause. Yeah. I don't know what this says about us. Yeah. Who knows you're one or the other? Nobody does. Sometimes one and sometimes the other.
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B
No, I think that's right.
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A
It's hardwired.
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B
Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. Okay. It's not a deep question, but it's an interesting question. It's funny how it's something to Notice about other people. I'm so inattentive to things. That's why I had to write my book Life in Five Senses, because it's so hard for me to pay attention to what's happening right in front of me. I want to pay attention to the people in my family. I know none of them are all of one thing and then they move on to the next because that I would have noticed. But I don't know if they have any other quirky ways of eating. So I'm going to investigate that.
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A
Yes. Pay attention at your next meal together.
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B
Yes.
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A
Okay, Gretchen, what is our quotation this week?
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B
Well, you know, I love an aphorism and this comes from Franz Kafka from the Zurow aphorisms. He writes, it is not necessary that you leave the house, remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, Only wait. Do not even wait. Be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking. It can do no other in ecstasy. It will writhe at your feet.
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A
Mmm. Thought provoking.
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B
So, Elizabeth, are you feeling happier?
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A
Yes, I am feeling happier. Thank you to Chuck. Bye, Gretch.
- [22:11]
B
Bye, Elizabeth. The best time to start a happiness project is 20 years ago. The second best time time is now.
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A
So Gretchen, do you think all of our listeners who are so bothered by us saying more happier or happy now that we said are you happy? What's making you happier?
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B
I certainly hope they are happier. Yeah.
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A
I hope we get emails now of people thanking us for taking away this irritation.
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B
Our bit.
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A
Yeah.
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B
We've learned our lesson. Our listeners care about grammar and we respect that.
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A
Yeah.
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B
From the onward project.
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C
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