More Happier: Our Longest-Lasting Relationships, a New Way to Think About Our Past & a Fun Quiz

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Happier with Gretchen Rubin" Episode: "More Happier: Our Longest-Lasting Relationships, a New Way to Think About Our Past & a Fun Quiz" Release Date: May 24, 2025

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Introduction

Gretchen Rubin and her cohost, Elizabeth Craft, delve into the nuances of long-lasting relationships, reflections on personal pasts through literary lenses, and introduce engaging activities to enhance happiness. The episode seamlessly blends personal anecdotes with practical advice, offering listeners actionable insights to cultivate joy in their lives.

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Making Us Happier: Celebrating Family Connections

The episode opens with Gretchen sharing her joy over her parents' recent trip to Paris. She highlights how their experiences and shared media creations fostered a sense of connection and vicarious happiness.

• Gretchen Rubin [00:01]: "Has made me so happy. They had such a good time."
• Elizabeth Craft [02:09]: "One thing I really respect about them is they really have figured out public transportation."

Gretchen appreciates her parents' adventurous spirit in exploring Paris through self-guided walking tours, emphasizing the value of immersing oneself in different neighborhoods rather than sticking to typical tourist spots.

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Elizabeth's Happiness: Embracing Daily Watercoloring

Elizabeth discusses her commitment to watercoloring daily in 2025, sharing how taking a break from this habit rekindled her appreciation for the art form. She recounts participating in a one-day workshop, which expanded her creative horizons and reinforced her identity as a watercolor enthusiast.

• Elizabeth Craft [04:22]: "It's very grounding to have that back in my day."
• Gretchen Rubin [06:00]: "Now you're back to your everyday watercoloring."

This segment underscores the importance of maintaining creative routines for personal fulfillment and mental well-being.

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Exploring Longest-Lasting Relationships

The hosts prompt each other to reflect on their longest continuous relationships outside of family. Gretchen identifies childhood friends maintained through social media, while Elizabeth highlights a longstanding friendship from kindergarten.

• Gretchen Rubin [09:35]: "If we're counting social media, I would say Christa."
• Elizabeth Craft [12:01]: "Research shows that we really do value relationships."

They discuss the concept of "relationship layers," where some relationships remain deeply connected, while others maintain a peripheral presence. The conversation emphasizes the significance of enduring connections for a happy life.

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Reflecting on the Past Through Literary Lenses

Inspired by a slow read of Stephen King's On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft and Tolstoy's War and Peace, Gretchen and Elizabeth explore how viewing their past through the perspective of different authors brings new memories and insights to light.

• Gretchen Rubin [20:53]: "I've never heard that story."
• Elizabeth Craft [25:37]: "JLab's diverse collection of headphones has something for everyone and every moment."

Elizabeth shares a personal childhood memory of getting lost in Chicago, illustrating how Stephen King's narrative style could transform an ordinary event into a gripping tale. They discuss how different authors' perspectives can reshape one's recollection of past experiences.

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Practical Tools for Happiness: Quizzes and Reframing Techniques

Elizabeth introduces a fun quiz designed to help listeners identify which of their five senses they may be neglecting, offering a pathway to enhance sensory experiences and overall happiness.

• Elizabeth Craft [14:38]: "If you have a sense that you really appreciate, you're probably taking advantage of that sense already."
• Gretchen Rubin [16:19]: "It's going to be my quest for summer yacht rock and pineapple Dole Whip."

Additionally, Elizabeth shares a creative strategy for dealing with difficult in-laws by imagining their behavior as material for a Neil Simon play, thereby reframing challenging interactions with humor and perspective.

• Elizabeth Craft [27:03]: "I don't want to be in touch with all these people that I knew in high school."

This segment emphasizes the power of reframing and creative thinking in managing relationships and enhancing personal happiness.

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Spotlight on a Tool: Engaging with Your Senses

Elizabeth highlights a quiz that helps individuals identify which of their senses they might be neglecting. Engaging neglected senses can lead to new experiences and increased happiness.

• Elizabeth Craft [14:38]: "There's a lot of fun things that you could do to tap into that sense once it's pointed out to you."

Gretchen joins in, mentioning her newfound focus on the sense of taste, inspired by adding pineapple Dole Whip to her summer yacht rock playlist.

• Gretchen Rubin [15:38]: "I was thinking my neglected sense as yours is taste."

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Closing Reflections and Quotations

The episode wraps up with an insightful quotation from Adam Smith:

• Elizabeth Craft [27:37]: "Nothing is more graceful than habitual cheerfulness, which is always founded upon a particular relish for all the little pleasures which common occurrences afford."

Gretchen and Elizabeth affirm their happiness, tying back to the central theme of appreciating everyday joys and maintaining meaningful relationships.

• Gretchen Rubin [27:52]: "Very true."

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Conclusion

In this episode of "Happier with Gretchen Rubin," listeners are encouraged to cherish long-standing relationships, explore personal histories through creative lenses, and engage all senses to foster a more joyful life. Through heartfelt discussions and practical tools, Gretchen and Elizabeth provide a roadmap to achieving greater happiness by valuing connections, embracing creativity, and appreciating the small pleasures in everyday life.

Transcript

[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

Lemonada.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Hello, we're here for More Happier, a podcast where we talk about how to get happier. Join us for some weekend listening, observations and reflections with a looser vibe. Hey, Elizabeth.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Hi Gretch.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Today we'll talk about an interesting question for thinking about our past and a know yourself better question inspired by Stephen King. But first, something making us happier. Elizabeth, what's making you happier?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Gretch mom and Dad's recent trip to Paris.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Has made me so happy. They had such a good time. I love that mom was just sending so many pictures and videos so I felt like we were there. I think she was inspired by us because remember we sent so many videos.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

From our trip to England, our walking trip, which was so great. And so she started doing that. I mean the video of dad eating the chocolate souffle was my favorite. But it just is so nice to see them out and about in Paris.

[Elizabeth Craft]

You know one thing I really respect about them is they really have figured out public transportation. They are going all over the place.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I think a lot of people when they're in a new city don't challenge themselves to figure it out. But you feel so free when you can do it. Yeah. It was so fun just to get the daily weather report. Sometimes I would look at them and find my in my phone just to see all of the French terms and where they were. Yeah. I feel like I got a vicarious vacation myself.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. And you know something that they did, which I want to do in a city is before they left they got a book called Walking Tours of Paris and they, you know, self guided but they would pick a neighborhood and then do a walk through it. And the book Would say, here are good restaurants and shops to go to. And I thought, well, that's such a fun, different way to explore a city than just going to this museum, that museum sort of destination, but to just explore different neighborhoods.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, and that's really what they said. Like, they'd been there before, they'd done a lot of that, and they wanted just to explore the city. I mean, Paris is famous for being one of the most beautiful cities in the world. There's so much interesting things to see, like, anywhere you go, but you realize that you probably are very much limited in what you're exploring. So I thought that was great, too, that they were like, let's get out of the way, the places that we might usually go, or that we've been in the past and really push ourselves. Well, one thing that was really good, too, is they had great weather, because one time they went on a trip and it rained. And as mom always says, rain is almost the worst. If you're running around a city, snow is easier than rain. And so every time they travel, I think, okay, is it gonna rain? And it rained the first day. And I remember I texted her, it's always good when it's the first day, because, listen, remember when we were in England, it rained that first day, and we had on our pants and our jackets and our hoods and everything, and then we were sort of braced for it. And then every day that it did not rain, we really appreciated it. Whereas I think if it had never rained that first day, you take the weather for granted. You don't appreciate that you have a good day.

[Gretchen Rubin]

True.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So I think it's actually nice if it rains the first day, because then if it doesn't rain later, you feel the lift of it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So, yeah. So mom and Dad's trip to Paris has made me a lot happier. How about you, Gretch? What's making you happier?

[Elizabeth Craft]

So, as one of my items on my 25 for 25 list is, I have dual watercolor every single day in 2025. Now, as registered, I gave myself taffy time and took two weeks off, because I was like, okay, that's just gonna overwhelm my circuits. I can't do it. But speaking of not having what you want, making you appreciate what you want, taking that break actually reminded me of how much I really do enjoy this daily practice of watercolor. And I really did miss it. And it really was fun to, like, sit back and get out my brushes and everything. But another thing that I did that reminded me of how much Fun. This is because I've talked about the fact that I'm doing this watercoloring every day. A friend of mine who lives outside of New York City was like, hey, I'm coming to New York City because I'm doing this one day workshop called Sketch and Paint Brooklyn with this teacher, Samantha Dion Baker. Would you be interested in doing it? And I was like, yes, I would. That sounds fantastic. I love a one day workshop. And so it was in Dumbo again. Beautiful weather. That's the district under the Manhattan Bridge overpass or something like that. Anyway, there's like a giant bridge overhead. It was very dramatic, extremely New York City. It was just so fun. I got to hang out with a friend. We used a kind of material that I had never used before. We got outside and went sketching. I had interesting conversations with people from all over the country. It got me just sort of outside of my usual routine, but in a very manageable way. Like, I could just take the subway there and take the subway home. Even though I think only a few people lived close to the class, a lot of people came from very far away to attend it. But I was so glad she asked me to do it. It was such an adventure, and it took me into this identity of being somebody who does watercolor.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Now you're back to your everyday watercoloring.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Now I'm back, and it feels really good for someone like me who really is all or nothing and loves familiarity and routine. It is very grounding to have that back in my day. And again, like, I have a very low bar for what counts. So some days, especially now with taffy, it's a very, very low bar of what counts. But I'm still doing it. And so, yeah, I'm really happy about that.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Good. All right, coming up, there's something that Gretchen's been meaning to ask me. But first, this break.

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay Elizabeth, I started thinking about this question for myself and I thought it was really interesting to think about and to think about the implications of it. And so I wanna ask you the same question, which is outside of your family, our family, what is your longest continuous relationship? By this I mean somebody who is still in your life. Maybe you're not seeing them once a month, but you're in contact with them. Like you have a vague sense of what they're doing. You communicate from time to time. You would say like, yes, I am in touch with that person who from your life was the first who's still there.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, I'm thinking of a couple of people. There was my friend Krista from I think preschool. Now we comment on each other's social media posts. So I sort of, I know what she's up to. I know what her kids are up to, but I haven't actually spoken to her in years and years and years. So if we're counting social media, I would say Christa.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, so that's social media only.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, so that's one kind of continuous. So there can be many flavors of. So that's one flavor. It's somebody that you're following them on social media, so you have that awareness, but you're not directly communicating or seeing each other face to face. Okay.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And then I think our family friend, Emily, Gretchen, I met her the day we moved into our house on Stratford. She lived across the street, and I was trying to remember if I was five or four or six when we moved in.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

But whatever that day was, I met Emily, and she has someone who has been in my life, and I've either talked to, seen, or texted with throughout.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Well, in fact, when our parents were in town recently in New York City, Emily came and we all had lunch, and we're friends with her mother because they were just these great neighbors that we loved so much. And so she's somebody who's been in all of our lives continuously. Right. But so, yeah, that's way back to when you were five. That's right. Maybe even four. Yeah. When we moved into that house. Wow.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And then Gretch, I think my friend Kim, who I knew, I believe, from first grade on, and I see her periodically at reunions, at funerals, unfortunately. So she's been in my life for almost the whole time. And then when I look at fourth grade, Gretchen, that's when I switch schools. There are dozens of people who I still know and still see and still talk to. I mean, I couldn't even count them all.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay. So it's interesting to think of your life as like, being almost, like, in layers, and some layers are thin and some layers are very thick.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That's interesting. I wonder if people. We didn't move that much. We didn't move far. I wonder for people who moved a lot. That would be interesting how they manage that.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. And I think it goes to maybe because we didn't move a lot. You and I have both talked about being tree people, where we like continuity. I'm very uncomfortable with, like, dropping people or dropping things. So it makes sense.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Research shows that we really do value relationships. Relationships are such an incredibly important element to a happy life. And people are very. We know how important relationships are. And, you know, sometimes you hear talk about, like, why do people stay friends with people who really aren't good for them or whatever. And it's because there is a lot of pain in ending a relationship. It's a big deal to end a relationship. And so I think just as it's a big deal to end a relationship, it's really valuable to think about, like, well, who have I hung onto?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Because maybe if you don't stop and reflect, you don't realize, like, wow, that's pretty amazing that somebody who was your next door neighbor when you were four years old is still somebody that your whole family is excited to see decades later. It's cool.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. How about you?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, mine is very clear. It's my friend Carrie. So my friend Carrie, we went to kindergarten together and I have a small group of high school friends where we do sort of these mini reunions, and I've seen her there on those. Her parents moved away from Kansas City when she was an adult, and so she doesn't go back to Kansas City. And I haven't seen her at a reunion or anything like that, but I have seen her. Otherwise. I was actually college roommates with her sister, but her sister I haven't seen forever. I follow her on social media, but this is making me think, wow, I really want to see more of Carrie and I want to see more of Jenna. But you and I both, we both switched to a school in fourth grade. We didn't switch at the same time since we're five years apart, but in fourth grade and from fourth grade, I have many people also that I'm in contact with. But, you know, people often will really. They're very down on social media and say, social media is terrible. It has all these terrible effects on us. But I do think that a positive of it is that it makes it easier to stay in touch on this very low level with many people from our past. My whole thing of, like, is it a bug or a feature? And some people are like, this is a bug. I don't want to be in touch with all these people that I knew in high school. It's the last thing I want, but I actually want that. I like that. I like having a sense of what people are up to or just feeling like it's not that they're close friends, but they still matter to me. They're still part of my past. I'm still interested. And I like the fact that with, you know, I'm not going to write them a postcard and get a postcard back, but I can still follow along in this very light way. And it makes me feel connected to my past. And, you know, this is my thing is I always feel like because my memory is so bad, I don't want to feel like I'm getting detached from the past or that I've forgotten the past. So I Like this low touch because it makes me feel like my life is coherent and, and things from the past still connect to things in the present.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, I agree. I love, I love that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

All right, Gretch, what is this week's Spotlight on a Tool?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, it is springtime here in the United States and at least in my neighborhood, there is so much to see, to hear, to smell, to taste, to touch. Having a puppy makes you realize I'm seeing and smelling things and hearing things in a whole new way. And if you are interested in your senses, but you're wondering which of your five senses might be the sense that you most neglect, you can take my quiz and all my other [e-mail] quiz and the reason why the neglected sense quiz is interesting is that if you have a sense that you really appreciate, you're probably taking advantage of that sense already. You're doing things to enjoy it or learn about it or share it with other people exploring it. But if it's a neglected sense, you probably have a lot of low hanging fruit. There's like a lot of fun things that you could do to tap into that sense once it's pointed out to you. That quiz sort of went bonkers with making just the quiz itself a beautiful experience because it just seemed appropriate for having a five senses quiz. So that is a particularly fun quiz I would say to take.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. And I just, while you were talking, I was thinking my neglected sense as yours is taste. And that made me decide I was going to add having some pineapple dole whip to my summer of yacht rock that we were talking about recently.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Now, where does one buy that?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, it used to be, I think only at Disneyland, but now you can get it other places. So it's been on my mind.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, we had that at the Missouri State Fair when we were little.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, that would be the kind of place that would have it, but I think it's gotten a little wider now.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay. Okay.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's going to be my quest for.

[Elizabeth Craft]

My taste for the summer yacht rock and pineapple dole whip. That sounds very, very appealing.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It does. Okay, Gretch, coming up, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. But first, this break crutch. We talk all the time about how important it is to get a good night's sleep. Well, I think I have figured out the hack to getting my perfect night's sleep. And it's just starts with my adjustable pillows from Coop Sleep Goods. I have the Eden adjustable, which keeps me cool. And I absolutely love it. Gretchen. Literally, when I go to sleep at night and I put my head on that pillow, I think about how much I love this pillow. It's taken the place. I used to have two pillows that I didn't like. Now I have one pillow that I love.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, after all, we spend a third of our lives in bed, so it really helps to get a pillow that's customized. And Coop Sleep Goods has a sleep quiz that makes it very easy for listeners to find the perfect pillow for them. Visit coopsleepgoods.com happier to get 20% off your first order. That's C O O P sleepgoods.com happier.

[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay Gretch, we're back. There's something I've been meaning to ask you. I'm inspired by the slow read that Sarah and I did of On Writing A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King. The book is partly about how Stephen King became Stephen King. So he talks about how he grew up and he has a lot of grotesque things that happened in his life that sort of you can see a direct line to then some of the horror he's written. But Sarah and I started thinking. Or is it vice versa? Is it that because Stephen King has the mind that he has, when he looks back on his childhood, he sees things in this grotesque horror type way. And if one looks at one's life through the lens of a certain author, do you see different things?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I see. So it's like, do all of these experiences make someone into somebody like Stephen King? Or is it the fact that Stephen King is telling the story make a childhood sound a certain way? Yes, but somebody else with a very different perspective might have like characterized the same experiences differently or even focused on completely different experiences altogether.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. And it made me realize that if I think of my past through the lens of a certain author, different memories arise, which is cool. It's a really cool way.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, like what?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, like, for instance, if I think of my past through the lens of Stephen King. I remember this experience I had getting a bunch of warts removed from my hand in third grade.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, my gosh, I remember that. I mean, and it was a bunch. This is not three. This is like all over your hands.

[Gretchen Rubin]

20. All over my hands. The doctor was not good. Mom later referred to him as a butcher. And I think of that. I could see Stephen King writing about that now.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Do I remember that? Then they were daubed with some kind of purple.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. When you came home. Right, right, right, right. Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It was horrible. So that would be a Stephen King memory. But if I think about my life through the lens of Jane Austen.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Right.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I think of doing the pacesetters where young boys and girls got together to learn to dance. Or I would think of a cookie exchange party that we had every year that Ann Rippey gave.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So different memories come to the surface. And I think that's so fun.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I think that's tremendously fun. Thinking about this childhood we grew up with, I would say a very suburban, classic childhood. And I look back on that with tremendous fondness. There's a lot about it that, to me, felt right and very appealing. And then I think of authors like John Cheever or John Updike, who are very well known for their dark visions of suburbia and, like, you know, the seething passions and the deadening weight and all that. And I'm like, yeah, you could probably tell the story of our upbringing. Just give it a very different cast than the one. But here's my question for you, Elizabeth. Now that we're doing the slow read of War and Peace, are you starting to see your own life through kind of a War and Peace lens? I feel that it is leaking into my self talk or like my self perception. Are you having that?

[Gretchen Rubin]

That's interesting. You say that I am being very aware of little pieces of human nature because I feel like that is the Tolstoy thing.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Right.

[Gretchen Rubin]

He just nails human nature and every kind of person there is.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And it's made me really aware of human nature.

[Elizabeth Craft]

No, it's just like the way that there'll be a gesture and it'll be like, and he gestured tiredly to blah, blah. And then, yes, that's exactly right. Where you're sort of like, how would he describe this particular moment or this particular expression on somebody's face or this exchange? Because it's always, like, what's going on underneath the surface? Or, like, what is somebody not recognizing that the narrator is telling us about? Oh, that's so fun.

[Gretchen Rubin]

But, Gretchen, I wanted to ask you, when you look at your past through the Stephen King lens, is there a memory that comes to mind?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, I think one of my most terrifying memories was I think I must have been, like, 8 or 10 years old. This is kind of amazing, but I flew to Chicago by myself to visit a childhood friend who had moved from Kansas City to Chicago, Hillary. And on the last day I was there, I walked with her to the bus stop so she could go to school. And then the idea was, like, I would just walk home, but I didn't pay any attention to how we got to the bus stop. Like, I just didn't know enough. Like, oh, you have to pay attention. So I started walking back, and I got completely lost. And so there I was. I was in one of the suburbs of Chicago, this very nice residential area, and I was utterly lost. I didn't know the address of the house, and I didn't know what to do. So I remember I went up to a door and, like, knocked on it, and it was like, a man answered it, and he just took one look at me and shut the door, like, ugh, I don't even want to hear it. And so then I was too scared. This is why someplace like New York City feels safer to me now, because there's people all around. Or you could just go into a store and ask a shopkeeper.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But there was nobody on the street. And I just remember walking and just thinking. And of course, it was foolish. I should have stood in one place instead of wandering off. I don't even know if I would recognize the house. Like, I wasn't paying attention, just feeling this thing, like, I have no idea what I'm doing. And then I can remember seeing down the street, her mother walking in and her mother lifting her arms, like, oh, my gosh, there you are. And just the relief that flooded through me, but it was unforgettable. And I feel like in the hands of Stephen King, maybe worse things would have happened to me, which is like, nothing happened to me. I was fine. And I learned a very important lesson, which that doesn't happen to me now. But, yeah, I think that's something that I could tell. The story of the leaves scuttling along the sidewalk and, like the gray sky and just the feeling of being so lost and so alone.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Wow. I've never heard that story.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So there you go.

[Gretchen Rubin]

See, right here, Gretch, we've brought up a memory.

[Elizabeth Craft]

We've brought up a memory, a new.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Memory that I never heard by doing this exercise. I think it's a really fun exercise.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Right. What would Judy Blume say about my childhood?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But here, this reminds me of one of my favorite quotations from Stephen King. And it really goes to his imagination. Cause you're sort of like, is Stephen King? Is he. Is his imagination? Is he his experience? And I think this is a very interesting reflection that he makes about his own work in On Writing, because I've read it many times myself. It's such a good book he wrote. And about his childhood, he writes. A block down the hill, not far from Teddy's Market, and across from Burritt's Building Materials was a huge, tangled wilderness area with a junkyard on the far side and a train track running through the middle. This is one of the places I keep returning to in my imagination. It turns up in my books and stories again and again under a variety of names. So for Stephen King, he picked that from his childhood, and that was one of the things that he took forward.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And that is not surprising.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. And here's the final thing. Okay. I thought this was a hilarious way to, like, reframe a situation. We love a reframing. Okay. So a friend of mine, lovely person who I've known for decades and is still in my life now, has truly terrible in laws. I mean, really, really bad in laws. And they made her bonkers as really difficult in laws will do. And then she hit on what I thought was a brilliant strategy. So she's somebody who's very interested in all kinds of creative writing, and she loves Neil Simon. And Neil Simon is a playwright who's very known for writing family stories that are funny but touch the heart and super popular. And she said, I decided that I would imagine my in laws and observe them as if I were going to use them as fodder to write a Neil Simon play. So whatever they. And I'm going to take notes and, like, whatever they do, this is just going to go into my Neil Simon play. So she was perceiving her own experiences as if she was going to then translate them to the stage. And she said it immediately changed everything because the worse they were, the better it was, because she was like, this is amazing material. This is gonna be amazing. Scene no one's gonna believe this. Who could have made this up? And so she said it really allowed her to have a sense of humor, have a sense of perspective, like, see it. Because she's like, if Neil Simon was telling the story of my in laws, it would be a very different story than the story that I'm experiencing.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So I will tell myself that story.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That is a brilliant idea. Others should try this. This is a great idea.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I have heard of, like, I think it was a story. Maybe it was from a listener. Like, it was like three sisters, and then they would all compare notes on who had the worst in laws, like, at Thanksgiving, and it was the worst. They were like, you wanted them to be as bad as possible so you would win.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, you and I both have delightful in laws, so we would not win that contest. And I'm fine with that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. But I thought that was a very fun way to reframe.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I love it. Okay, finally, Gretch, what is our quotation this week?

[Elizabeth Craft]

This comes from Adam Smith, the theory of Moral Sentimen. He writes, nothing is more graceful than habitual cheerfulness, which is always founded upon a particular relish for all the little pleasures which common occurrences afford.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Very true.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And so, Elizabeth, are you feeling happier?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, I am feeling happier. Thank you to Chuck. Bye, Gretch.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Bye, Elizabeth. The best time to start a happiness project is 20 years ago. The second best time is now. Hey, Gretchen and Liz, remember you were talking about everybody has a secret food that they like to hide or keep secret. I realized I had one. I keep my potato chips on the top shelf in the back so my kids. Kids don't get them so I can have them at lunch. Being a little hypocritical because I also don't want them eating potato chips. Your secret stash of chips. I love it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. Well, now, Chuck, when I'm at your house, I know where to find the potato chips.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Walk in the pantry, reach high. From the onward project.