More Happier: Puppy! Taffy Has Arrived

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happier with Gretchen Rubin – "More Happier: Puppy! Taffy Has Arrived"

Release Date: April 26, 2025
Host/Author: Gretchen Rubin / The Onward Project
Description: Gretchen Rubin, the bestselling author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before, shares her journey toward greater happiness alongside her cohost and younger sister, Elizabeth Craft. This episode delves into the joyful yet challenging experience of welcoming a new puppy into their lives.

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1. Personal Updates: Embracing Fitness with Orange Theory

The episode opens with Elizabeth Craft sharing her newfound enjoyment of Orange Theory, a fitness class she's been attending. Initially, Elizabeth always liked attending the classes but was often filled with anticipation for them to end. However, as her strength and cardio improved, her perspective shifted.

Elizabeth Craft [01:13]: "I am getting happier because I am finding that I'm able to actually enjoy doing Orange Theory a lot more."

Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth discuss how increased competence and reduced anxiety transform experiences from burdensome to enjoyable. Elizabeth emphasizes the importance of consistency in building and maintaining habits, aiming to attend Orange Theory a hundred times in 2025.

2. Welcoming Taffy: The Joys and Challenges of a New Puppy

The heart of the episode centers on Gretchen and Elizabeth welcoming their new puppy, Taffy, into the family. Gretchen expresses both excitement and initial apprehension about the responsibilities that come with a new dog.

Gretchen Rubin [04:32]: "We have our puppy, Taffy, and the name was chosen by Eliza and Eleanor. It was hotly debated, and I have to say, like, I was very full of dread the week before." [04:32]

Elizabeth describes Taffy's adorable and determined nature, contrasting her with Barnaby, their older cockapoo. The sisters share anecdotes about Taffy's playful antics and the extra physical activity Gretchen has inadvertently incorporated into her routine by caring for the energetic puppy.

Gretchen Rubin [11:50]: "You do find yourself just gazing at. They're just so small and cute." [11:50]

3. Managing Responsibilities and Embracing Change

Gretchen delves into the emotional and logistical challenges of adding a new puppy to the household, especially after having Barnaby. As an "upholder," Gretchen naturally gravitates towards structure and rules, which can make adaptability difficult.

Gretchen Rubin [22:20]: "I'm putting myself on hiatus. I'm making mindful choices." [22:20]

She discusses strategies to balance her need for order with the unpredictability of puppy care, such as temporarily stepping back from certain habits to reduce stress and focus on training Taffy.

4. Interactions Between Barnaby and Taffy

A significant focus of the conversation is how Barnaby is adapting to Taffy's playful energy. Gretchen reassures listeners that Barnaby is handling the change well, maintaining his calm demeanor while respecting Taffy's exuberance.

Gretchen Rubin [16:01]: "Barnaby is behaving completely normally and this is just like totally fine." [16:01]

The sisters discuss their proactive approach in ensuring both dogs feel comfortable, including consulting a trainer and gradually introducing the dogs to each other for harmonious coexistence.

5. Secrets of Adulthood: Dog-Related Aphorisms

Towards the end of the episode, Gretchen shares insightful aphorisms related to dogs that tie into broader themes of adulthood and relationships.

Gretchen Rubin [27:28]: "A friendly dog makes conversation easier by smoothing over awkward pauses or supplying an excuse to change the subject." [27:28]

She highlights how pets can enhance human interactions and emotional well-being, emphasizing the importance of balancing enthusiasm for pets with attentiveness to family relationships.

6. Establishing Routines and Positive Reinforcement

Gretchen and Elizabeth touch upon the significance of routines and positive reinforcement in training Taffy. Gretchen acknowledges her initial strictness and the learning curve involved in adapting her approaches to fit the needs of a young puppy.

Gretchen Rubin [25:27]: "I'm putting myself on hiatus. I'm making mindful choices." [25:27]

This segment underscores the importance of flexibility and patience in fostering a positive environment for both the new puppy and existing family dynamics.

7. Conclusion: Embracing the New Family Member

The episode wraps up with updates on Taffy's sleeping arrangements and Gretchen's reflections on the initial days with the new puppy. Both Gretchen and Elizabeth express their happiness and anticipation for the adventures ahead, reinforcing the podcast's theme of pursuing greater happiness through personal growth and meaningful relationships.

Gretchen Rubin [29:53]: "The best time to start a happiness project is 20 years ago. The second best time is now." [29:53]

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Key Takeaways:

• Embracing Change: Adapting to new responsibilities can be challenging but ultimately rewarding, enhancing personal growth and happiness.

• Consistency in Habits: Maintaining consistent routines, like attending fitness classes, can lead to greater enjoyment and fulfillment.

• Balancing Structure with Flexibility: Especially for individuals who thrive on rules, finding a balance between structure and adaptability is crucial in managing new challenges.

• Positive Reinforcement: Building harmonious relationships, whether with pets or family members, relies on understanding, patience, and positive reinforcement.

Notable Quotes:

• Elizabeth Craft [01:13]: "I am getting happier because I am finding that I'm able to actually enjoy doing Orange Theory a lot more."

• Gretchen Rubin [04:32]: "We have our puppy, Taffy... it brings this whole new energy into our household."

• Gretchen Rubin [22:20]: "I'm putting myself on hiatus. I'm making mindful choices."

• Gretchen Rubin [27:28]: "A friendly dog makes conversation easier by smoothing over awkward pauses or supplying an excuse to change the subject."

• Gretchen Rubin [29:53]: "The best time to start a happiness project is 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

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This episode of Happier with Gretchen Rubin offers a heartfelt exploration of adding a new member to the family, highlighting the complexities and joys that come with nurturing relationships, whether with pets or people. Gretchen and Elizabeth's candid conversation provides listeners with relatable insights and practical wisdom on cultivating happiness amidst life's transitions.

Transcript

[Gretchen Rubin]

The weather is warming up and it is time for picnics.

[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

Hello, we're here for More Happier, a podcast where we talk about getting happier. It's weekend listening, more observations and reflections, but a looser weekend vibe. Hey, Elizabeth.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Hi, Gretch.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Today we're going to talk about getting a new dog. Wow.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yay.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's huge. But first, something making us happy. What's something that's making you happier?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, Gretch, I am getting happier because I am finding that I'm able to actually enjoy doing Orange Theory a lot more. So, you know, I've been doing Orange Theory, my fitness class.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I've always been happy I'm doing it and I like it. On a meta level.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But now as I get a bit stronger and my cardio is improving, I can actually enjoy the class. So I'm not just filled with waiting for it to be over the whole time.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And do you think it's because it's physically easier or you've mastered it, so it's more of the fun of activity or what is it?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I think it's a combination. It doesn't really get easier as, you know, with exercise because then you're just pushing harder. But, yeah, I do feel more capable. So most of the time, I'm not really dying to the level that I was where you really feel, like, just sick. And I think I am getting more comfortable with sort of the different activities. So I don't have that anxiety of not understanding what's going on.

[Gretchen Rubin]

There is kind of a pleasure of knowing the routine. Like I, when I took aerobics for all those years, it wasn't like I ever really enjoyed it, but I enjoyed being able to follow along with some skill instead of just flailing about.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, no, exactly. So I'm just loving that now. One thing that I realize, if I miss so, you know, I'm going twice a week, but if I miss even one class, it's so much harder to go back. I mean, you talk about this all the time. But for sure, the more I do it, the more I like it, and the easier it is to go because.

[Gretchen Rubin]

You feel like, oh, now I remember what it's like not to go.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I don't know. It just feels. Yeah, I guess. Just seems harder to go back. So I'm really trying to use that to keep myself going, knowing, okay, if I don't go today, then Monday is really gonna feel like a burden. But if I go today, Monday will feel like, hey, no big deal.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Isn't that interesting? I think there's so much to that. It's easy to overlook that fact. I think this comes back to this thing that a lot of times we think, oh, if I lighten my load or make things easier, I. I'll be more likely to stick to it or do it. But it's just not the case.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Right.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's the rule of more. Sometimes doing more is better. And so wait, remind me, how many times for your 25 and 25. What's your aim for the year?

[Elizabeth Craft]

So my aim is to do Orange Theory a hundred times in 2025. Now, I must tell you, I need to pick it up to get there. I'm gonna have to go three times a week a bunch. Which I have not done yet. So that's another reason I'm really trying to be religious about these twice. So that I can build up.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And do three times a week, you know, a bunch of times. So.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right. Well, you got sick right at the beginning of the year, and that put you.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That was last year. Gretchen, you're remembering last year when I got sick at the beginning of the year. It was the.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That was 2024. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Time does fly.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But anyway, it's all happening. I'm doing it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That's great. That's great.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I heard from people in the Happier in Hollywood Facebook group that they've started doing Orange Theory. So that's very gratifying.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That's great.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But, Gretch, what is making you more happier? I mean, I know the answer to this question, but let's get into it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, we have our puppy, Taffy, and the name was chosen by Eliza and Eleanor. It was hotly debated, and I have to say, like, I was very full of dread the week before. I had a pit in my stomach thinking, oh, my gosh, what have we gotten ourselves into? But now she's here, and, of course, it's so exciting. We're just constantly taking pictures and videos and oohing and ahhing and, you know, it's just incredibly fun and brings this whole new energy into our household. So that is definitely what's making me happier.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, she is so cute.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, she's so cute.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. So, Gretch, tell me about the dread.

[Gretchen Rubin]

What was the dread about the dread? There are many levels of dread. Okay? First of all, I do not do well with change. Elizabeth. I don't know if you've ever noticed that about me, but I struggle with change. So that's a change. And in our minds knew what a big responsibility it would be to get a puppy. But it wasn't until, like, it was imminent that I think we really started to grasp the fact that Barnaby, who's a 10 year old dog and is easy and chill and very easy to have around and you don't have to, like, think about it that much, that we were going to have a whole new. A whole new dog that was going to require us to figure out a bunch of things. And. And it's always, you know, Elizabeth, you and I always say this to each other, like, it's never the dog's fault. It's always like us getting trained and just realizing how little we knew. And we were very swept along with Eliza and Eleanor's enthusiasm. They were so, so excited. And I think we were just like, yes, it's gonna be great. It'll be so cute. And then, of course, it was on the other side of my book tour. And do you ever have this thing where there's something big in between you and something else? It's like a fence you can't see over, so you're just like, la, la, la. That's just go in the future. That's no big deal.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Absolutely.

[Gretchen Rubin]

This happens to me with the holidays. I'm like, oh, it'll happen after the holidays. And so then it'll be no big deal because the holidays will be over and so I'll have nothing but free time and energy to devote to anything. And then it happens. And you're like, oh, wait, it's not like I'm in this vast expanse of time and freedom. And so I had my book tour, which was amazing, but it took a lot out of me. And then I came home and then the next day is when we got taffy. And I think just like, as those days were counting down, I was thinking, okay, do we have what we need right away? Do we know what we're doing? Do we have a plan? Now it is easier because we've already had Barnaby. So, like, we know a veterinary practice that's just like two blocks from our house that we love and we know the other dogs in the neighborhood because we've been paying attention to the dogs in the neighborhood. We have really great dogs in our neighborhood. So that's really nice. So it is a lot easier the second time, but it just, I think that was the dread was just the. And you know, it's a big commitment. I remember when we got Barnaby saying to Jamie, barnaby may live under our roof longer than Eliza and Eleanor did. And now we're starting all over again and it's just thinking like it's a big decision.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. Well, I have many questions about it which I am going to ask you after the break.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Foreign.

[Elizabeth Craft]

We always on this podcast talk about the importance of getting good sleep. And part of good sleep is a great pillow. There are side sleepers, back sleepers, even starfishes. I'm a side sleeper and it really matters how your pillow fits with your head, whatever position you're in. Gretchen I got a pillow from Coop Sleep Goods that is so perfect for me. I went from using like two pillows together that were not quite right to using my one coop pillow, which is perfect. And it's for cool sleepers so I don't wake up all sweaty in the middle of the night. I love it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, Gretch, we are back. And there are questions I've been meaning to ask you about having your new puppy, Taffy.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

What's it like having a puppy?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, one thing that's interesting is so Barnaby is a cockapoo. And he's very big for a cockapoo. That was kind of a surprise to us. He's like, you know, and every dog is different. And so he turned out very big. And Taffy is a kavapoo, so she's much smaller. She's really small. She can easily fit under a bed and, like, walk around under there, which she loves to do. And it's just so adorable. I mean, she's just so small and so determined, you know? Like, it's just so funny when you can see a dog. Get an idea. Barnaby has his very, very favorite toy. And every once in a while, you'll see him, like, he'll be stretched out, snoozing, and then he'll just get up and be like, huh, where's that toy? And then you'll see him go off, and then he'll bring it back and he's just like, where was that thing? Like, he's looking for his phone. And with Taffy, you throw a toy and then she's like, whoa. Okay, I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna put up a big fight. It's this stuffed alligator, and I'm just gonna shake it back and forth. And she's so tiny. So it is just incredibly endearing. You do find yourself just gazing at. They're just so small and cute. But here's something funny, because I'm constantly picking her up and putting her down. My legs were really sore and I was like, what's wrong with my legs? And then I'm like, oh, I'm getting all this exercise because, you know, I'm not leaning. I'm being very wise and not leaning over and picking. You know how you're not supposed to hinge from your back. Cause I'm always careful of my back. So I've been doing all these squats, essentially, to scoop her up. And so I'm getting good leg exercise, but it is. Is incredibly sweet.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So just for understanding. So Barnaby, is he like £60?

[Gretchen Rubin]

He's like £40.

[Elizabeth Craft]

£40. And then how big is he?

[Gretchen Rubin]

And now he seems enormous to us. It always seemed kind of like a medium sized dog. Now he looks like a giant.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So how big will Taffy be, do you think?

[Gretchen Rubin]

You know, I forgot to ask, but small. Okay, I meant to ask that. And when we go to the vet for the next set of shots, we'll ask that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

A question I have, Gretch, is you're in your empty nest slash open door phase. Of course. So is this a bonding thing for you and Jamie? I mean, I assume it's the answer is yes. I know for Adam and me, when we got Nacho and Daisy, it was super bonding for the whole family. But of course, you don't have Eliza and Eleanor there.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, can I be honest?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yesterday, Jamie said to me in, like, a very calm way, he's like, you're being very critical of me. And it's starting to get on my nerves, because you know how I am. It's like, for me, I feel like there's all these rules and you're not doing it exactly right. Like, you're supposed to do this. I'm trying to think of an example where it's just like, this is the rule. We should follow it. And Jamie's like, I don't think that rule really matters, or I think this is fine. Or like, oh, I'm gonna give her a little piece of this treat. I'm like, but we have to give her treats that are only for puppies. That's not even a real example, but it's that kind of thing. And so I was constantly sort of criticizing him for not doing it exactly right. And what I've learned from Jamie, as a questioner said, a lot of times there's a lot of ways to do something right, and, like, a lot of the things that I'm fussing about aren't mattering. So then I felt very apologetic, and I'm like, this just gets me all high strung. And he's like, yes, I get it. I understand. But it's annoying. And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna back down. But so in that way, there was a little bit of tension. And I cannot swear to you that that will not happen again, because you know how I get. I'm just like, this is the Rule, Yes. And Jamie's a questioner, but in general, I would say yes, because it's fun. It's something that we're like, oh, look at this. And he'll call and say, how's she doing? Or if I'm out and I'm coming back, I'm like, what happened while I was gone? You know, it just feels like there's this whole little family adventure. And so it does give you a lot to talk about and a lot to plan. And then we went to Petco before she came, and we wanted to get some stuff for Barnaby too, because we don't want him to feel left out. So we went and we picked out a bunch of stuff. And so that's fun. So it is bonding, but I wanna make sure that it's positive bonding and that it's not. You know how they say, like, you have to reinforce positive behavior in a dog and then the bad things, you don't wanna reinforce it. So I like in myself, I want to remember Jamie is an actor in this as well, and I do not want to give him negative reinforcement. And I appreciated that. He said it to me in a very kind of like, he wasn't reactive. He was just, you're starting to get on my nerves with this.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And I'm like, yeah, it's good he let you know.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I hear you. I hear you, man.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So how are the girls handling not being there? Because, of course, they are such dog people. Are they feeling a lot of fomo?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. So, well, Eleanor sends texts begging for videos every single day. And so it's just like, more videos, more videos, more videos. So I've been doing that and so she's very excited. So she'll be home from school fairly soon, so she'll still be home for the puppy phase. And that was something that was really important. Kaffy will still definitely be little. So of course, Eliza lives in New York City, so she came over right away when Taffy arrived and met her. And there's a day where both Jamie and I need to be out doing stuff. So she's gonna come over and she has a lot of papers to write, so she's just gonna be with Taffy. And then when Taffy's asleep or whatever, she'll be working on her papers. So that' nice. Of course, we don't have her at the ready all the time because she's got all her own stuff to do, but it is nice. And then it's fun because, you know, our in law, my in laws live right around the corner. So twice in one day, I ran into my mother in law out walking Taffy. I was out walking Taffy and my mother in law went out. And then I was, you know, an hour later I was out again. And then my mother in law was coming back. And that's really fun. They love having a dog who visits. They wouldn't want to have their own dog, but they love having a dog who visits. And it's also nice for Barnaby because Jamie took Barnaby over there so that Barnaby would get a lot of love and attention.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Gretchen, I'm so curious to hear how Barnaby is handling all this. That is the big, big question.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I know mom just texted me today, like, how's Barnaby? Everybody's very concerned about Barnaby. Nobody is neglecting Barnaby. Nobody is forgetting Barnaby, I would say. And we worked with a trainer and the trainer is like, he's behaving completely normally and this is just like totally fine. I would say he's like, you've gotta be kidding me face. And then he sort of walks away. And she's very interested in him, but he's just like, I'm over this puppy energy. And he'll sit. He rarely barks or goes woof. But he'll do it sometimes. Like if his water bowl is empty, he'll like very politely just go woof. Sort of like, can I please call your attention to something?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Right?

[Gretchen Rubin]

And now what he'll do is he'll be nearby and he'll lie down very calmly. But then every once in a while, he'll just go woof. But we do not let her run to him, like, jump all of him or anything like that. And so we basically are giving them a lot of space. But now we're starting to bring them closer together so that they can parallel play or get used to each other. And it's. Even in two days, it's gotten. It just feels much more amicable. It's not like Nacho and Daisy where they're running together and they're like this joyful pair. But I can imagine that the day will come when they will be hanging out together. But people say this is very common if you have an older dog and a younger dog. Older dogs often are not that interested in puppy energy. And puppies, of course, are like jumping all over every dog they can find. But so we did talk to a trainer to make sure that both of them, both of them felt good about it. We don't want them to have a bad experience.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, no, I bet Barnaby's gonna end up loving Taffy, and I bet they'll be together.

[Gretchen Rubin]

He's a very social dog, and he's a very chill dog. And so I think we have every reason to feel like it's gonna be fine. The one thing that Barnaby has is he has one toy that's super special. And it's funny because Elizabeth, growing up paddywhack, did not really care about toys very much. But Barnaby has a few toys he really likes. And there's one toy that is super, super special. And we're just like, okay, we need to make sure that that toy is never where she could get to it, because he would not be happy if she was just dragging it around. She's in that phase where she likes to drag things. It's so cute, you know, where, like, she'll pick up, like, a little. There was a washcloth on the floor, and she just, like, picked it up and just started dragging it. And that was like, that's a, you know, an amazing toy. It was very cute.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, it's so cute. Yes. My dogs, of course, with toys, they destroy them within five minutes. They've got the little squeaker out and they're stuffing everywhere.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Do they still. That's interesting.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, do you remember that when you first got Nacho, I think I came over and we had our back turned for, like, five minutes, and he completely emptied out the stuffing in an outdoor chair.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, I do remember that. No, they don't do that anymore. But they do destroy toys.

[Gretchen Rubin]

They do destroy toys. Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Coming up, we have a spotlight on a tool. And I have another question for you. But first, this break. Are you a trailblazer, a risk taker, someone with countless tales of epic adventure? Well, I'm not quite there yet, but I'm working on it. Even the boldest among us started off small, daring themselves to reach greater goals each day. If you're looking to take on a challenge like that, the Defender is, too. It's a vehicle built for drivers capable of great things. Whether they're headed toward uncharted territory or just a weekend getaway, adventure seekers won't.

[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, Gretch, we're back with this week's Spotlight on a Tool.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, it is read 25 and 25. We've heard from so many listeners who are loving 25 and 25. When I was on my tour, I talked to so many people who were doing read 25 and 25. And we are partnering with Bookshop, which is the online platform that serves indie bookstores. And all month long, Bookshop is offering great ways to support indies so you can learn how you can support your favorite independent bookstore and enjoy a fun perk. From Bookshop, just go to happiercast.com read 2, 5 and 25 or reading for all.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yay. All right, Gretchen, so I'm still on the subject of Taffy. Here today is all about Taffy and your new dog. So you mentioned that you're an upholder and you are a bit rigid and you don't like things to change. So how are you handling that? What are you doing?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, I do feel like this is the kind of thing that is hard for me to manage because I get very focused on what are the rules and am I following the rules right? And then, of course, a lot of it is, well, it depends on your puppy. How long should you wait before she has water? And then you take her out outside and you kind of have to learn the ways of your puppy. And so then that requires flexibility and learning and making mistakes. And that makes me tense. But one of the things I'm reminding myself, and I feel like I should turn this into a secret of adulthood, but it's still too unfocused in my mind is I remember this before Eliza and Eleanor were born. And I remember it before, when we got Barnaby, is that all these rules feel very confusing and complicated. But it does get more clear when you're actually confronted with a baby or a puppy. You start to see the point. And you can be like, okay, this works or this doesn't, or you sort of get in the groove. And I reminded myself, okay, I've got all these printouts and all these things that I'm reminding myself. And like, oh, if she's going pee outside, don't offer a treat right away because that'll distract her. So you have to wait. But then you could say, you know, whatever. And I'm trying to remember all these things. And then you're like, it gets easier once you're actually doing it. I guess that's what I would say is I think that it actually is easier once you're doing it and not just contemplating it. And that is true. And, you know, it's a big responsibility. And I don't like responsibilities. I don't like errands. I don't like chores. I'm just like, oh, my gosh. It's like, go to the vet for the vaccinations and you have to have the negative fecal sample and you have to, you know, it's just all that stuff. And here's another thing, and we kind of touched on this before. Like, I'm an all or nothing person, and I think it's easier to do things every day. And this is something that upholders, I have often heard is that we get stressed out when we can't stick to our usual habits. Some people feel like, oh, taking time off for my habits as like, a treat. And if I want to comfort myself, I'll sort of let myself off the hook. But actually, for upholders generally, often and certainly for me, I feel more comforted by keeping my habits. But I just decided it was going to be too wild. And there's all these new claims on my time and energy. And so what I decided to do was with going to the Met every day and doing watercolor every day, I was just going to for two weeks say, I'm not gonna do it. I'm taking two weeks off. One of my secrets of adulthood is what you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while. And I'm just like, I don't know what I'm gonna do at the end of two weeks, but I'm Like, I will have a lot more clarity at the end of two weeks. So I'm just. For these two weeks, I'm just putting those two things aside. And that is making me feel calmer, because I think if I were trying to wedge that in, that would just give me a lot of added stress. And this is something that upholders can do. We can tighten. We can become choked by our own red tape that we have put on ourselves. And I was like, I want to make this calm. I don't want to get high, strung, and worked up so that I'm snapping at Jamie more. This is supposed to be fun. It's all going to work out. And so I just decided, but not to feel like day to day. I didn't want to feel like I was making excuses. I wanted to feel like I'm putting myself on hiatus. I'm making mindful choices. A mindful choice.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Good.

[Gretchen Rubin]

When people talk about making a mindful exception, do you plan it in advance? Do you enjoy it when it's happening? And do you look back on it with satisfaction and you feel like, okay, I did what I said I would do? And so that's what I decided, that I would just say, like, I'm gonna take two weeks off. And of course, though, you know how it is. It's the power of the streak. Like, the end of 25, when it's like, did you do watercolor every day in 2025? I'll be like, dang it, I didn't.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But I'm proud of you. I think that was a smart idea because I think that would have been overwhelming. And I think life happens and you need to adjust to it. And you don't feel bad when you don't go to the Met or do watercolor because you're on book tour, right?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. Oh, well, that's a good analogy, right? Well, no. I did do watercolor on book tour. I did do watercolor on book tour. Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So I think this is similar. So just. This is taffy time.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's taffy time, right? It's a season of life. Well, and then also, one thing that I remembered is both with Eliza and Eleanor and with Barnaby, I remember later thinking, I didn't enjoy that super new time enough. I was so worried again about doing everything right and, like, rushing through the stages and, like, was I getting my work done that I didn't really revel in it? Because the thing is, in the long view of a person's career, if it slows down here and there, like, you can make it up and just enjoy it. This is a fleeting time, like when it's happening. The days are long, but the years are short. All these things that I've experienced before, I keep experiencing and have to keep learning the same lessons over and over again, which is, I feel like, oh, my gosh, she's never gonna be trained to go outside, but then she will and will never think about it again.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Exactly.

[Gretchen Rubin]

You'll never think Brazilian dogs learn this and she will, too.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, Gretch, finally we have some dog related secrets of adulthood. And a dog related quote.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, usually I have a quotation, but I realized that I have several secrets of adulthood that are related to dogs, which I kind of hadn't realized. So here are some of my favorite. So the first secret of adulthood is a young child. Or better yet, a friendly dog. Makes conversation easier by smoothing over awkward pauses or supplying an excuse to change the subject. Don't you find that to be true?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, of course. Absolutely.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. Be as happy to see your spouse as your dog is happy. Tell your spouse you love them as often as you tell your children. This is one thing I always think about, Jamie, is I don't want my dogs to seem happier to see him than I am happy to see him.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I think that's good advice.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And then, Elizabeth, my whole big collection of aphorisms that I wrote, some were secrets of adulthood. And those are the. The best ones of those went into the book Secrets of Adulthood. But then there were some aphorisms that I would call mere observations, where they didn't have a secret of adulthood. They didn't tell you how to make a decision or deal with procrastination or whatever. They're just observations. And funnily enough, do you remember that mom thought that maybe this should be the title of the book, Secrets of Adulthood, which is A dog doesn't gaze at a waterfall. But in the end, it didn't even appear in the book because I decided it was a mere observation. But I do think it's an interesting observation, which is what is the end.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I love that observation. Yes, I do remember that. Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. The whole conversation. A dog doesn't gaze at a waterfall. And here is an aphorism that I have to say I always thought was a folk proverb. I didn't realize that it was actually attributed to an actual person. And that is the aphorism. Even a dog distinguishes between being stumbled over and being kicked. That's a line from the Common Law by Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. And I love that. Which is sometimes you get injured by accident and sometimes you get injured on purpose. And it matters.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Absolutely. You know, I love your secrets of adulthood, Gretch.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh, thanks. So, Elizabeth, are you feeling happier?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, I am feeling happier. Thank you to Chuck. Bye, Gretch.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Bye, Elizabeth. The best time to start a happiness project is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So, Gretch, where's Taffy sleeping?

[Gretchen Rubin]

She is in an airline carrier that we have on a coffee table in our bedroom at night. And so she knows that we're there. And she has slept from 10 to 6:30 straight through the night.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Great.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And the first night, she sort of whimpered, and I just said, it's time to go to sleep, time to go to sleep. And she would go right back to sleep. And they say it's because they know you're there. And then during the day, day, when she's napping, she sleeps in the carrier in the room by herself.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, good.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Because they say it's important for them to spend time by themselves so they don't get separation anxiety. So the sleeping at night is going very, very well.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, good. That's huge.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That's huge. From the onward project.