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“Am I mad, or did it happen?” This is a question that poet Lemn Sissay regularly finds himself asking. Having grown up in care, he has no family members to bear witness to his life experiences; is his understanding of his own identity correct?

In this chat with Fearne, Lemn talks through why it’s important for us not to compare trauma, that everything’s relative, and no one deserves more or less empathy. He also exposes the reality of the care system in the UK, and offers practical ways for all of us to help those who’ve been in care better integrate into society.

Between them, they suggest how to watch out for when you’re performing to a crowd, rather than being present – that’s where a true feeling of belonging lies – and how to mitigate the negative voices that want to knock your confidence.

Lemn’s latest poetry collection is Let the Light Pour In and his memoir is My Name Is Why. Both are published by Canongate.

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Lemn Sissay: Foster care, belonging, and snake charming