107: We Answer EVERY Question (Completely Unedited Episode!)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happy Wife Happy Life – Ep. 107: "We Answer EVERY Question (Completely Unedited Episode!)"
Release Date: April 20, 2026
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick

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Episode Overview

In this special completely unedited episode, comedians and partners Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick are unscripted, unfiltered, and ready to answer every question thrown their way. Foregoing their usual prep, they riff and react in real time to listener-submitted questions about relationships, intimacy, personal quirks, and pop culture, giving the audience candid advice, personal anecdotes, and plenty of laughs. This episode is especially rich in queer relationship perspectives, humor, and the couple’s signature lively chemistry.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Catching Up and Relationship Dynamics (00:35 – 05:20)

• Kendahl jokes about "deep-throating" a carton of Tillamook ice cream amid writing an extended sex scene for her book, which shifted the energy at home.
  • “I was like, I could not see you because I was working, but every time I would see you, I was like, I’m so horned up writing this sex scene. Don't look at me—I gotta get back down there and write more pornography.” (01:52, Kendahl)
• The couple reacts live to Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe’s divorce, sparking a reflection on power couples and the business logistics of divorce/separation in long-term partnerships.
• Kendahl laments breaking up due to the “nightmare” of separating finances and informs Jordan that if they ever broke up, they’d just continue running their business together.

2. Romance, Smut Fiction & Personal Growth (05:53 – 13:15)

• Jordan has become increasingly invested in romance novels and “smut,” specifically gay hockey romances (e.g., Heated Rivalry).
  • “You're on the smut train. Yeah. Choo choo, choo choo, choo choo.” (07:07, Kendahl)
• The pair debate realism vs. escapism in romance books: Jordan prefers grounded stories, Kendahl loves the pure escapism.
  • “I like it not grounded because I don't want to have anything explained to me that I genuinely don't care about.” (11:07, Kendahl)
• The importance (or not) of describing character outfits in books and the pitfalls of outdated fashion descriptions (e.g., V-neck shirts).
  • “The second you say he’s wearing a V-neck shirt, I picture Simon Cowell immediately.” (13:31, Kendahl)
• Quirks in visualization while reading: Jordan admits that, unless given strong visual cues, all book characters resemble variations of themselves.
  • “When they read books, every character has their face.” (15:55, Kendahl)

3. Queer Literature and Cover Art (17:50 – 18:26)

• Discussion about the prevalence and utility of cartoon covers identifying LGBT books—helpful for picking relevant stories without reading blurbs.
• On how exposure to queer books at a young age would have been beneficial, with both sharing about reading smutty fanfiction as teens.

4. Relationship Q&A—Candid Advice and Confessions (19:01 – 65:55)

Favorite/Notable Questions and Segments:

• Most Unhinged Place You’ve Fooled Around (21:53)

  • Kendahl: “Probably on the sidewalk outside of 30 Rock.”
  • Jordan: “In a car outside a police station…" (22:10)

• Experiences/Media That Affect Gender Identity (22:32)

  • Jordan finds gay male coming-of-age films (e.g., Moonlight, Brokeback Mountain) especially resonant and gender-questioning.

• Personal Grooming Habits (28:56)

  • Jordan calls out Kendahl for resisting nighttime tooth brushing; Kendahl jokes, “At night, it’s optional.” (29:32)
  • “Kendall has to be made to brush her teeth at night… At night!” (29:10, Jordan)

• Nail Biting Confessions (33:22)

  • Both admit to gross habits; Kendahl sheepishly owns up to dropping bitten nails on the floor.
  • “Kendall will bite one of her nails off, take it out, and just drop it on the ground.” (33:36, Jordan)

• Favorite Past Survival Jobs (34:47)

  • Kendahl loved being a janitor and would do it again for the right pay.
  • Jordan’s favorite “regular” job was working at Mexican restaurant Calexico in NYC.

• Work Quirks & Being Unprepared (39:01)

  • A tangent about HOA rules, boxes, and Kendahl’s tendency to act confidently with no basis, leading to humorous bickering.

• Scissoring Frequency in Lesbian Sex (28:33)

  • “I can't speak for the full community. For me, it’s every single [time]. For us, I would say 99% of the time.” (28:33, Kendahl & Jordan)

• Long Distance Relationship Advice (31:56)

  • Longest span: ~6 months. Tip: “Allow there to be romance through fun gestures, big and small.” (33:01, Jordan)

• Grossest Habits (33:22)

  • Reiteration of nail biting and not disposing of nail clippings tidily.
  • Brief self-reflection on getting too comfortable in a relationship.

• Dating After Losing a Partner (47:32)

  • The likelihood and timing of dating again depends on circumstances; it’s about wanting partnership, not “replacing” the person.
  • “She doesn’t want to live alone… so that’s why some people start dating sooner, because they wanted to be in a partnership.” (49:47, Jordan)

• Most Embarrassing Bathroom Emergency (59:43)

  • Both recall incidents on airplanes. Jordan: “I was flying standby… turbulence got so bad… I couldn’t get up and go to the bathroom… and I…” (61:27, Jordan)
  • Kendahl: “Every time I stood up, I hit my head on the overhead compartment, without fail, hard.” (60:16, Kendahl)

• Lingerie: Worth It or Nah? (62:40)

  • Neutral/positive, depending on confidence: “If you’re feeling sexy, I love that. So I’m, like, pro it if you like it, but it’s not something I need.” (63:20, Jordan)

• Listener Scenario: Still in Love with College Girlfriend (63:44)

  • Both recommend giving the relationship another shot, especially since they’re both single and so much time has passed. Consider why they broke up; if it was just youth, go for it.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On changing perspectives:
  “My opinions have changed if that gives you guys any confidence in listening to this podcast. But things are changing all the time…” (04:25, Kendahl)
• On why it’s hard to break up when business is involved:
  “You guys really underestimate what it would take for me to want to walk into a Chase bank and have a meeting.” (05:20, Kendahl)
• On queer and women’s fiction covers:
  “I like it. … The covers make it really easy to go, boom, boom—I'm looking through them all and I see, oh, gay.” (17:50, Kendahl)
• On intimacy and honesty:
  “Did you brush your teeth?” (31:23, Jordan, teasing Kendahl and revealing their domestic dynamic)
  • “Then we scissor for six hours.” (31:38, Kendahl)
• Tough love about wasting people’s time in dating:
  “That’s so rude. … If you really want attention, you have to find acceptable ways to get it, unfortunately. Or you’re toxic and scary.” (57:08, Jordan)
• On college love and second chances:
  “You might break up, and then you might feel sad—but you also could break up and feel sad with someone else.” (64:27, Jordan)
• On the experience of being sick in public:
  “I would rather die than shit myself slowly alone on an airplane.” (61:52, Kendahl)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• Reflections on writing (and living with a writer): 01:35 – 02:40
• Sue Bird & Megan Rapinoe breakup reaction: 03:02 – 05:38
• Book talk: Smut, taste, self-image in fiction: 07:05 – 13:38
• Fashion faux-pas in book descriptions: 13:15 – 15:32
• Confessions: Characters always look like myself in books: 15:52 – 17:49
• Queer book covers & youth reading fanfic: 17:50 – 18:45
• Opening the Q&A: 19:34
• Sexual dynamics (scissoring, etc.): 28:33 – 28:47
• Grossest relationship habits & brushing teeth debate: 28:56 – 31:33
• Favorite "survival" jobs discussion: 34:47 – 37:01
• Kendahl’s HOA box saga: 39:01 – 41:36
• Bathroom emergencies: 59:43 – 62:40
• Sexy acts and physical attraction: 54:08 – 54:58
• Listener still in love with first girlfriend: 63:44

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Tone & Language

• The episode is raw, energetic, and playful, with plenty of teasing, improv, and self-deprecating jokes. There is unguarded honesty about sex, relationships, gender, and the weirdness of shared domesticity. Both hosts switch seamlessly between giving earnest advice and roasting each other (and the audience) in classic queer comedic style. The language is candid, breezy, and sometimes explicit, always favoring wit and irreverence over formal advice.

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Summary Takeaways

Happy Wife Happy Life’s unedited Q&A showcases Kendahl and Jordan’s strengths: authentic lesbian partnership, candid advice, pop culture savvy, and a willingness to overshare the messy realities of intimacy and identity. Their episode will delight listeners who appreciate real talk about queer relationships, sex, personal growth, and the chaos of domestic life—with plenty of laughs and memorable takes along the way.

Transcript

[A]

Busca una forma masinteligente de aurra en el reducir costos con watchmark the Pacific power.

[B]

Okay, ready? Three, two, one.

[A]

Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life. We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Vandrath.

[B]

And I'm Jordan Myrick.

[A]

And we are two incredibly unqualified but

[B]

deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episode, we're doing a completely unedited episode.

[A]

That's the intro graphic.

[B]

Our picture.

[A]

Oh, I'm glad that that intro's gotten some appreciation because a couple years ago, I spent a pretty penny on that.

[B]

Oh, yeah? How much did you pay for that?

[A]

Probably like, 20 royalty free music. But it's probably like 20 bucks. But I remember being like, all right, we're doing this. All right. Never getting this $20. This podcast better be good.

[B]

And I'll go out on a limb

[A]

and say that it is good. I think it's okay. I think it's pretty good. I think it's pretty good. Jordan Myrick. I am so happy we're here today. What?

[B]

My full name?

[A]

Yeah. Jordan Lee Myrick. I have missed you. I feel like I have not seen you all month.

[B]

I know we've been working a lot, but. You've been working a lot. Locked in a room, writing your book.

[A]

I know. And we're getting there, you guys. I wrote. I wrote a very smutty scene last night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For the last three days, I've been writing the smutty scene, if that tells you anything. Insight into how long it is. It's like eight pages.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Six pages maybe, but. So I've been locked in there being a total perv. There's nothing like. There was a really weird dynamic in the home where I was like, I could not see you because I was working, but every time I would see you, I was like, I'm so horned up writing this sex scene. Don't look at me. I gotta get back down there and write more pornography.

[B]

That's really scary.

[A]

It was probably pretty scary. Did I seem insane? I had a weird gleam in my eyes.

[B]

You seemed insane. Yes, you did. Because I would just, like, never see you. And then you were like, I have to go, I have to go. And I'd be like, okay. And then you would be just, like, all over me for a second, but

[A]

then you'd be like, I'm leaving.

[B]

And so, yeah, it created a weird. A weird energy, but not one that I didn't like.

[A]

All right. And then I just Kept Deep Throat in that tillamook.

[B]

What?

[A]

That ice cream that Gwynne had brought over.

[B]

Oh. What? That's a crazy way to say it.

[A]

Well, I was eating that. It was like I kept just eating. I ate. I ate probably the full carton of tillamook over the last the two days. I don't know. I was in cookies and cream. It's pretty good. We're already in a weird place today because we just found out right before the podcast that Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe broke up.

[B]

They're getting divorced. Did you hear John? Megan Rapino. Yeah. Oh, and Sue Bird. They're separating.

[A]

Power athletes. Power athletes.

[B]

Power divorced couple now.

[A]

Power divorced couple. I feel sad about it. I'm going to be honest.

[B]

That's so interesting. Cuz you don't care about sports at all. You didn't even know Sue Bird played basketball. Goes. They're both soccer players.

[A]

Well, I would say I had no idea. I just know they're lesbians and I follow both of them.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And I don't need to know any more information than that. I'm such a fan girl when it comes to lesbians. I'm not a fan girl about anything. But a lesbian couple. I'm immediately Bodish.

[B]

You love them.

[A]

I love them. I'm obsessed. I don't need to know anything about them. I'm just like, they're so cute, they're so sweet. And sometimes when I see a couple like Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe, I feel like if I could just get five minutes alone with them, I could convince them not to break up.

[B]

You could fix it.

[A]

I think I could.

[B]

Honestly, they listen to a couple episodes of this podcast.

[A]

Yeah. And. Right. Well, I just feel like specifically sometimes you need to knock some sense into people.

[B]

What, what if they've been writing in and we've been giving them our been like, break default advice. Break up.

[A]

I know, but I think sometimes, you know what? I do give different advice. And maybe this is wrong, maybe this is bad advice. And I'm sure we'll have to do in 30 years. We'll have to do what? It'll be like season 50 of this

[B]

podcast and we'll be like, we were wrong. And then go over all of our takes that were wrong.

[A]

I'm sure. Because even like I look back last season and I'm like, oh, I. I don't really think that anymore. My opinions have changed if that gives you guys any confidence in listening to this podcast. But things are changing all the time. The longer we're in a relationship, whatever. But. And so maybe I'll change my mind on this, but sometimes when people write in and they're like, I'm 45, I give different advice. I'm like, the advice is different for a 45 year old.

[B]

I don't know how old.

[A]

I didn't even know what sports they played. So maybe they're 25, but in my head they're like 40.

[B]

They're not 25.

[A]

And sometimes I'm like, at that era in your life, what possibly could be the reason? And I want to be like, guys, let's just take a chill pill. Let's take a breather and let's just push through to the end.

[B]

So you think the problem is that they haven't taken a chill pill?

[A]

I think they haven't probably thought about it at all.

[B]

Sure. Yeah.

[A]

I'm sure they just threw caution the wind and released a breakup announcement. I bet they haven't even sat and thought about it for two seconds.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I really think you could help them.

[A]

I know. No, but you know what I mean? Sometimes I'm like, I don't know what it would take for me. I mean, especially. We can probably relate to them in a lot of ways because we have a lot of podcasts businesses. They have a podcast, they have a company together. I don't you guys really underestimate what it would take for me to want to walk into a Chase bank and have a meeting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that is a huge reason why I would never get divorced.

[B]

If we ever stop being romantically intertwined, we would just open up our relationship.

[A]

Yeah, but fully. We're fully broken up, but we just also are like, we own this company. I don't. I mean, even if that's sweet, I could be like, we're broken up every year. We meet up to do our taxes together.

[B]

Our new wives come and we all hang out.

[A]

We all hang out and we don't have to go to Chase Bank.

[B]

You're. You and I aren't broken up, but we're just like, we're partners, but we're also.

[A]

Yeah, but even if you didn't want. Even if there was. Because I don't know, of course I don't intimately know or even surface level know what happened between Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe.

[B]

Surface line.

[A]

You don't know a single thing about it.

[B]

No information.

[A]

So maybe they. There is a good reason why they need to be separated fully. Not even just opening. They need to be not partners anymore. I still think if we Were in that place, I would be like, we have to find a way to not have to separate our finances.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

We have to find wives that understand.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That I don't want to go into a bank and deal with something, and I don't want to do any more paperwork than I have to do.

[B]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[A]

That's what I believe.

[B]

Can I talk about something else, please?

[A]

I.

[B]

As everyone knows, I'm on the romance train now. Not even just romance. Like, you know, sexy, sexy romance.

[A]

Not just. You're on the smut train. Yeah.

[B]

Choo choo, choo, choo, choo, choo. And I now empathize and sympathize with a lot of what you've said. And I'm sorry in the past that I've scoffed at you.

[A]

Do you know I just got a lump in my throat because you're gonna cry. Yeah.

[B]

Your eyes literally look wet. Are you gonna cry?

[A]

No. But I.

[B]

For.

[A]

So I'm just happy for you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Because I really think that, like, for the longest time, you struggled to do things that were, like, frivolous. Yes. And now smut's not frivolous, honey. Not in my opinion.

[B]

Don't adjust your local hat.

[A]

Made me a lot of money.

[B]

Don't adjust your free pr. El pollo loco hat.

[A]

I just got you My smuts. Made me a lot of money in my day. But I. I think that now you're opening yourself up to things that are just fun. Yes. I love that for you.

[B]

I'm trying to be more relaxed.

[A]

Sorry. To make your smut conversation more serious.

[B]

My God. No, I think it's good. I think I used to be a lot of fun, and then I was too much fun, and then I had to cool it, and then now I'm trying to be more fun again because

[A]

I think that's like. Yeah, you're not. You're not really gaining anything from reading smut, and that's fine. You're just, like, enjoying it and the romances. And I also think there's something like what I love about romance. It's so people complain where they're like, they're not realistic or they're not this. And I'm like, I love that. I don't need things to be realistic.

[B]

I kind of do. I think we still have very different taste in terms of that kind of stuff.

[A]

Well, right. You like exclusively gay male smut where they play exclusively hockey. That's something I found. Jordan is now done with heated rivalry, has reread it twice, and is now looking for New. Not just other books about gay men. Books about hockey, playing gay men.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's a thing that I'm doing now, and I'm just kind of riding the wave. Do I think that's exclusively what I'm into? No, of course not.

[A]

You're skating the ice.

[B]

But I. Yeah, I'm. I'm on thin ice. But I'm like, I've just, you know, you finish, and then it's like, here's some more. And I'm like, okay. But I don't like it when it's too unreasonable. Like right now it's. I'm reading one about two best friends where one of them's gay and one of them's not, and they're both hockey players and they're both gay, and they're both. Well, and they're. And of course they're both gay. But, like, the one who's not gay is very much like, don't talk to him. He's my best friend and I come first.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, nobody acts like that as adults. That's crazy. That's too crazy.

[A]

Say it one more time.

[B]

Like, so if a gay guy talks to the gay guy, the out guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

His straight, quote, unquote best friend will be like, hey, why don't you back off? I'm his best friend, so I come first.

[A]

And you don't like that.

[B]

It just feels like stupid to me. I'm like, can you imagine, like, I don't know, like, if Lily and I were, like, out somewhere or Colin and I were out somewhere and it was like, I don't know, some, like, guy tried to hit on Lily, and I was like, hey, she's my best friend.

[A]

I know. We're the opposite. We'd be like, get fud, girl. Yeah. I feel like I'm desperate to wingman my friends. I, like, love the idea of setting them up, and they're like, hey, stop.

[B]

I'm married.

[A]

And I'm like, okay, let's just, like, like, play around the phone with your husband.

[B]

Everything's fine.

[A]

I just love. I love that.

[B]

But I don't like or, like, well, what was another thing that I, like, read recently? Oh, a guy. One that I read before this one. It's like, the guy is like, I'm retiring from hockey and I can't wait to start a life with my beautiful wife. And then, like, while he's doing this interview, someone walks up and is like, you've been served. And he opens it and it's divorce papers.

[A]

I love, like, that.

[B]

And he's like, what? And then I really liked this book, but this was like, the first three pages, I was like, what is going on?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he, like, walks off and he, like, calls her, and he's like, baby, what's wrong? And she's like, you've known this was coming. Never come back to the house. We, like, children are nasty, and you want children, and I don't. It's like, whatever. And I'm just like this. No one acts. This is crazy. No one, actually.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

So it's, like, a little too crazy for me. So I like it a little more grounded sometimes.

[A]

I like it not grounded because I don't want to have anything explained to me that I genuinely don't care about.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

This is my big Frustration with the M3GAN franchise, of course. And, you know, I was like, especially Megan 2. Well, Megan 2. I had no problem with Megan 1. It was absolutely perfect. Flawless movie. Should, famously should have won Best Picture at the Oscars.

[B]

That was tough to get that out,

[A]

honestly. It's actually fucked up of you to be like, we should do an unedited episode. I'm like, yeah, the only one who ever's edited is me. It's just me having to be like, wait, repeat that. Sorry, you have to take it back. Repeat it. Just, like, showing how unwell I am.

[B]

I'm sorry, baby.

[A]

But in Megan, too, they kept explaining the science of this thing. That I was like, hey, buddy, it's not real science anyways, and it doesn't matter. I'm not here to watch a documentary, okay? I don't care. Just get to the robot killing people.

[B]

I do agree with you. I think there needs to be, like, I need there to be a middle ground. Like, I don't need it to be like, I don't like when they're trying to do fake science. That doesn't make sense. But I also, like, just need it to be, like, a little more grounded. But anywho, all this to say is that now I'm really relating to you because I've now read in a couple of the books where they're explaining what the person looks like and what they're wearing and whatever. And I just can't. The one I'm reading right now, it's like, he was like, fuck it. I decided to, like, be who I really am. We're going out tonight with my, like, college hockey team right before the NHL draft, and we're like, I'm gay. But, like, I don't really talk about it. And so he's like, so I went into the closet and I picked out my hot pink crop top and the lowest rise jeans I could find. I'm like, that's a crazy outfit. Ew. And the lowest rise jeans you can find with a hot pink crop top that's like, not really. Like, it's such a weird. Like, gay men don't dress like that.

[A]

Or they go, but I don't want to think about it, but they do. And I see it and I say, I just, I'm going to try to forget that.

[B]

It's just so wild. It's just not a. Like, I really believe.

[A]

And when I'm reading a book, I want them to be dressed like commercial actors. No logos, just jeans and a plain T shirt.

[B]

You know what else is wild to me? And I need the straight community who's listening to this podcast. I know you're few and far between, but I need you to comment in the comments. Do you guys love V neck shirts? Because these straight ladies that are writing these man on man hockey romances, every single man is wearing a V neck T shirt.

[A]

The second you say he's wearing a V neck shirt, I picture Simon Cowell immediately.

[B]

Not what I'm picturing.

[A]

All I can picture is the cherry husk, cherry husk, cherry chest, the hairy chest of Simon Cowell peeking out. That's all I can picture.

[B]

I just, to me, it makes them feel very dated. I think that's what's hard. I'm like, okay, well, he's wearing like an old, like American Apparel, like, V neck shirt knockoff from Target that. Like what?

[A]

Like, I'm just like, you have to keep it timeless.

[B]

But I agree with you. I think it should just be like, like you're going on a go see on America's Next Top Model. White shirt, nothing on it. Jeans, you know, whatever, jeans.

[A]

And then you have options. Oh, they're a little more put together. Blazer suit. Don't explain. Don't say the color.

[B]

You can say the inseam of the shorts. And that's it. Don't tell me anything else about it.

[A]

Oop.

[B]

Did we forget to silence our phones? Was that you or me?

[A]

Yeah, that was me.

[B]

Oh, my God. Kendall.

[A]

The painter will be here around noon.

[B]

Phew.

[A]

On Monday, the painter will be here around noon. I agree. Especially because yet times change. And I like to think, you know, I'm writing my book. I say, okay, well, I have to know, in 100 years, this will be required reading in high School. Of course, people are gonna be reading the zombie smut romance.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

But I always think of Winona Earp because Winona in Winona Earp, she's supposed to be like, badass. She's really cool. But it's 2014, so. What is she wearing? She's wearing one of those pleather jackets.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's like beige.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

That Katniss Everdeen wore.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

She's wearing a necklace that has a feather dangling at the bottom. And she's wearing knee high boots. It is. It is awful.

[B]

Yeah. It's like punk rock Christian girl. Autumn is what, Giving? Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But it's so much harder on a TV show because like, how do you not date a TV show but with a book? You don't have to like, just be like, she has hair.

[A]

She. Right.

[B]

She is tall.

[A]

And I was talking to a friend, talking to Ben the other day about this.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And we were talking about how in

[B]

a book, like you my husband in law.

[A]

Yes. Yeah, he. And we won't explain the how. A lot of a book, it's like there has to be a balance of letting people just picture it. Yes. And ultimately, unless your character's wearing a blow up dinosaur costume, sure. I'm not gonna really picture what you describe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One of the most haunting things Jordan ever told me.

[B]

I think you've said this on the

[A]

podcast before and it deserves to be repeated. This actually made me question a lot of things about, like, I said, something needs to be tested. You need to go to some doctor for this. Jordan said that when they read books, every character has their face.

[B]

It's like a. It's like an inspiration of me kind of.

[A]

And then I said, because I was like, well, what's a book where there's the most like just drastically different looking characters? And I said, okay. When you read Harry Potter as a kid, Jordan said, yeah, I was Hagrid, I was Snape. I was Harry. I was. That's insane. Yeah, that's insane.

[B]

It's not me with a wig on. It's not like me with a wig on. It's like just like a little bit of an iteration of. Of me. Unless.

[A]

Do you feel that when you're reading Heated Rivalry. No. You picture Connor's story.

[B]

Well, unless it's someone distinctly different. So like with Heated Rival, obviously. Now I picture Connor and Hudson or like for Role Model, one of the other books in the Game Changer series, someone fan cast Tyreek Withers as Troy Barrett. And he is super handsome. So I Was like, okay, that's cool. So now I picture him the. The cartoon covers. Sometimes I'll. They guide you a little bit better. Because the thing about the. Listen, I was anti cartoon covers because I was like, this is weird. And. But now I throw it because I'm now having to read now that I've, like, finish so many of these gay hockey books and I'm having to, like, move to other franchises. It'll just be a picture of a generic man, no shirt on, covered in tattoos, eyes Photoshopped to be as blue as the ocean. Like. And I'm like, who is this? I don't even think this is a man. That's like, in the book.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

And I don't like that. That upsets me. He's like, uncanny Valley a little bit. Is like, what a lot of them look like.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It's upsetting.

[A]

Well, and I think it's nice because they. There's so little LGBT books that the covers make it really easy to like, boom, boom. I'm looking through them all and I see, oh, gay. Those are lesbians. And I can just pick out who it is without having to read 9,000 covers.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Of them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I like it. And I also don't think people are like, it's so bad because what if a 12 year old. If my 12 year old reads that. I don't think that's a problem. Sorry. I think they. I think that's fine. I think that's educational.

[B]

I think we were all reading stuff on the Internet.

[A]

I was reading at 12.

[B]

Watching at 12.

[A]

Wow. I didn't watch anything, but I read some real, real. Well, I didn't even really know it existed. I thought you could only read it interesting on Tumblr.

[B]

It's very analog on my computer, but

[A]

I would read, like a lot. I've said this before, but Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield, smutty fan fiction.

[B]

Oh, right. You love your fanfic.

[A]

I love fanfic. But now you love fanfic too. And we can connect on that. We're reading and it's kind of nice because we're reading different things. I w. Could recommend books to you that I enjoyed, but we ultimately don't connect on the types of books we like to read.

[B]

But nice smutty books, like, in general. I don't really feel like we have similar taste.

[A]

No. I've tried to read a couple books that you've recommended.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyways, we're having a great time. Jordan's Poor Jordan. I'm so. I'm working so much, they're having to just delve into a complete state of homosexual erotica. I'm lonely, and I'm sorry, but I love you and I miss you. And today we decided we're going to be answering completely any question you want us to answer. We went on Instagram, and I said, you guys, this is the moment you said, get perverted.

[B]

We got one hour.

[A]

You can answer anything. The ultimate truth is that we've been so busy, we're a little unprepared. So our punishment is that we have to tell you things we are not comfortable telling you.

[B]

Sorry. Sorry.

[A]

So we haven't even looked at the questions yet.

[B]

Yeah, we haven't looked at them.

[A]

I looked at one by accident, and I got absolutely annihilated in the car. Yeah.

[B]

Because we were like. And then Kendall opens it, and she goes, oh, there's one that says this. I'm like, we just talked about not reading them. Sorry.

[A]

I got my gavel. So just so everyone knows, if you hear a clanking, that's what it is. All right. Do you want me to read one and you read one? Oh, sure, if you can mix it up a little bit. I always. I was saying the other day, sorry to bring up that hate comment again, but when Jordan was like, someone commented that you talk too much. I said, honey, I don't even know

[B]

what I'm trying to say. What are. What are you trying to say?

[A]

What point are you gonna make a joke about the fact that I was like, I tell you, you talk too much all the time, but you don't talk too much on the podcast? I really wish we could edit.

[B]

It's a rough day for you.

[A]

Anyways, my point is, someone commented that Jordan talks so much on the podcast, and I. We were saying later, we were like, it's also crazy because you read all the questions.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you have to read the question. Yeah. And then sometimes, God forbid, you want to respond to a question.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Hey, guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let's cool it. Let's cool it on talking about my wife. All right, I'm ready. You want me to ask the first one?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

All right. I'm just gonna literally scroll and stop. And I have to read it. If you had to personify the colors, which would you. Why?

[B]

Oh, that's fun.

[A]

Okay. I think I would do orange. Whoa.

[B]

What a crazy answer.

[A]

Yeah. Pinky. It feels wild. It feels different. Feels like it would have a lot of energy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. What about you?

[B]

Purple?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

It feels sexy to me. Yeah, it feels kind of like dark and mysterious and like horny. I think purple's a horny color.

[A]

It is purple and like velvet red. I feel like are really velvet red. You know what? Like red, but specifically when it's on a velvet.

[B]

I know exactly what you meant. I like that.

[A]

I think it's maybe. What does it say about me that my answer was traffic cone orange? That's what I was picturing in my head.

[B]

It's like I'm desperate to sit on one of those things.

[A]

Your turn. You have to just slide it. Stop.

[B]

Where's the most unhinged place you fooled around?

[A]

Probably on those. The. The sidewalk outside of 30 Rock.

[B]

Probably, yeah.

[A]

I've got millions of others.

[B]

Just kidding.

[A]

It's definitely that.

[B]

In a car outside a police station.

[A]

Why'd you do that?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Why'd you have to do outside the police station? Because I was asking for trouble.

[B]

We're already parked there.

[A]

Oh, because you worked there.

[B]

Because I worked there. Used to be a cop. I'm rather. But I used to be a cop.

[A]

All right, I'm going to scroll and what kind of experiences, feelings, media make you question your gender

[B]

rivalry? Any like gay male coming of age stuff, which really, you know, gives me a lot to think about. But yeah. So like that movie of an age I saw broke back Mountain Moonlight. Moonlight was also like very. I mean, Moonlight's a powerful movie in general. It's one of my favorite movies. I think it's one of the best made movies to ever exist. It also takes place in South Florida, where I grew up. And the way that they capture like the feeling like even just like being outside in south, like they just capture it so vividly. And so I really resonated with that heated rivalry, all that stuff. Like it makes me be like, I'm feeling some things.

[A]

What's going on here?

[B]

Yeah. Which I was worried about. But then someone was like, well, but don't you identify as gender non conforming? And I was like, yes. And they were like, well, then why would you worry about that? It would only be maybe something to think about if you were cisgender. And I was like, oh, okay.

[A]

I think things can be so multifaceted too. Like there's so many ways and like that's something. When I went to my gender therapist that we talked about of like all the tiny minute things that can be gender affirming and then it can be confusing because then you try something, something else that feels like it fits into the, to the world of gender non conforming and it makes you feel not good. And then you're like, wait, maybe I'm not. And then it's like, no, because it's not something you really can put into a box. Yeah.

[B]

And I think it's so hard. We've talked about this before, but once you start to, like, pick at one thing, it's like the whole thing can kind of just crumble apart when it comes to, like, gender and sexuality and all these things. And that's not to say that other people don't have extremely concrete genders and sexualities that never change. Some people do, but a lot of people don't. And I think that, as I always say, life is long, and who knows what's gonna. But I. You know, I'm just feeling stuff out. You always feel real good about yourself when you have to, like, wear kind of, like, cartoonishly boy clothes or when you have a fake beard on.

[A]

Yeah, well, because I often have to. I often have to wear, like, really horrifyingly ugly male clothes for sketches. And the other day I was playing Jojo Siwa's boyfriend. Sorry, threw up.

[B]

I just.

[A]

If you're watching, I just vomited everywhere. If you're watching, if you're listening, I mean, I just vomit everywhere. Jordan. Literally. Stop. I was playing Georgie Sue's boyfriend, and I had to put on a beard, but I just did, like, you know, summer camp talent show vibes where I did mascara down my face, and then I wore a backwards hat, and I felt so hot, and I was like, imagine if I did actual, like, drag, because this is actually hideous and the worst version of this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I felt pretty good.

[B]

Yeah. So if you were like. If you did actual drag really well, it would be. You'd be unstoppable.

[A]

I think I could look like a dude really easily. Like, I think, like, I. If I cut my hair a certain way, I think I have a face that is kind of like. And this is no hate to me, but kind of bland enough that I can really. But do you know what I mean? Like, my. My face. I think that's why I like character acting. It's like, I think I can really make my face look a lot of different ways. And if you, like, put on a wig on me, it changes my face. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Today's episode of Happy Wife, Happy Life is sponsored by Rocket Money. It's easy to lose track of your spending. Seeing all of your finances in one place can help. That's why there's Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money helps you set financial goals and stay on budget by giving you personalized insights on your spending. See all your subscriptions in one place and cancel with just a few clicks. If there's one thing Kendall Landreth has never done, it is end a subscription after a 30 day free trial. I truly cannot do it. I have so many subscriptions that it just every month it's my donation to that company and I have no idea. Sometimes I don't even know I'll get, oh, 3.99 on an app. What is the app? I have no idea. Rocket Money is so helpful if you're someone like me who really easily loses track of stuff like this. Rocket Money's dashboard makes it simple to manage checking, savings, loan and investment accounts with a clear view of your finances on one screen. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Happy that's RocketMoney.com Happy RocketMoney.com H A P P Y Spring is the perfect time to update your home with Wayfair. From April 25th through the 27th, you can score up to 80% off with free shipping on everything. Upgrade your space with quality pieces for any budget like a luxurious leather sofa or storage bench. Everything ships fast and free during Wayday. We love Wayfair. We just got the most adorable record rack I guess you could call. I'm gonna post a picture of it on my Instagram because it looks so absolutely gorgeous and we got it from Wayfair and it was really easy to set up and I feel like it looks so kind of expensive and well, it wasn't. Wayfair's huge selection makes it easy to personalize any space you're sure to find something you love. Wayday is the sale to shop the best deals in home decor. We're talking up to 80 off with fast and free shipping on everything. Head to Wayfair.com April 25th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. How often does scissoring actually happen in lesbian sex? I can't speak for the full community for me is every single for us,

[B]

I would say 99% of the time personally, 99 of the time. So everyone else you can sound off in the comments if those statistics line up with your experience.

[A]

But we're similar heights. Anyways, you move on. I guess that could. Maybe.

[B]

It really works well for us. Yeah, we're similar heights. Okay. Have you ever had to comment on your partner's grooming or hygiene habits?

[A]

Yeah. Jordan's always like, kendall pressure.

[B]

Wow. I was not gonna blow up your spot like that, Kendall.

[A]

First of all, I've never had a cat continue.

[B]

Kendall has to be made to brush her teeth at night. At night.

[A]

And I will tell you in the morning. Never missed it. And I know some people who don't brush her teeth in the morning. And only brush your teeth at night. That's gross. What happens? Look, okay, I think at night, it's optional. And.

[B]

And that is so crazy. You're gonna get your ass eaten alive in the comments for that.

[A]

I'll never. For one time that I joked about, like, not washing my hands at my house, and you made me edit it out. It was, like, early enough in our podcast that. Oh, yeah, you were like, kendall, we can't start the series like, the people

[B]

will come to the house and kill you.

[A]

But what did Andrew, our friend Andrew, what did he tell us the other day?

[B]

We can't blow up his spot.

[A]

No, it's not gross. He said that when he went to get Invisalign.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

He showed them a photo of my teeth.

[B]

Oh, sure. I don't think he told me that. Just you. Well, but that's great. So that all has nothing to do with humans working. I think you have hereditarily good teeth, which I don't really. My dad have any.

[A]

And first of all.

[B]

But your mom has good teeth.

[A]

Yeah. All right, Stop flirting with my mom.

[B]

And your dad had teeth at one point.

[A]

Oh, that doesn't mean anything. I tell you the scariest thing. This is a funny story.

[B]

And I. You might have told this already before.

[A]

I don't think I have one of the scariest moments of my life. I was, like, five years old. No, I was, like five years old, and I was, like, sitting on my dad's lap, and I don't remember what we were talking about, obviously, but he started laughing really hard. And I didn't know he had dentures. I had no idea. His teeth fully fly out of his mouth while he's laughing. And I am, like, screaming. I mean, I. I was horrified. And he just can't stop. Of course he can't stop laughing. Yeah, because it's so funny.

[B]

And he's got no teeth.

[A]

And I didn't know you mean picture. You're five. You don't Need. I don't know what dentures are, of course. Imagine if you were talking to your mom and her eyeballs just came out. Like that's how it felt. I was so fucking scared. And I always think about that. But I don't know. He. Yeah, he had dentures, but my mom's got great teeth. Anyways, I am lucky. I do know, actually. And I feel it's important to say I do know that getting cavities is hereditary because you have way better dental hygiene than I do. I'd like to think I'm still very sexy.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And appealing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not gross. Well.

[B]

And you brush your teeth every night because I make you. But you get into bed, and then I go, did you brush your teeth? And you go, yeah.

[A]

And you guys. And I just foreplay. So that's what you're. Did you. This is how we do.

[B]

And then I go, get up and brush your teeth. And you go, no. And then I go, get up and brush your teeth. And then.

[A]

And then we scissor for six hours. I'm going to hit it right here. Okay. How do you deal with the fact that you can be everything to your. What? Okay, that one. They didn't finish. It was in all caps and they didn't finish the question. So ultimately have to move on. How long did you guys do long distance for and what are your tips? We did long distance for a very short amount of time. Like six months.

[B]

That's not. I don't think that's a very short amount of time.

[A]

Maybe it's not a short time to do long distance. It's a short time. Given that in that time, I moved across the country and lived with you. You know what I mean? Like, we moved pretty quickly.

[B]

Pretty quickly.

[A]

I was like, I gotta get. I gotta get to my lady on the other side of the country.

[B]

Yeah. You're obsessed with me.

[A]

What are your. What's your number one tip for long distance?

[B]

God.

[A]

We haven't done it so long and we would do it so differently now.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I think we'd be worse at it now, to be honest.

[B]

Well, it's hard. I think we would be better at it now for the stage of life we're in now.

[A]

I think we would talk much less now. Like, I think, because we don't need to now, Right?

[B]

You're first starting to date. You need to talk a lot. I keep hitting my face on the mic when you. No, when you first get together, you need to talk a lot more. And so now, like, when I go on Tour. It's like, we're not, like, talking for two hours every night. I'm on tour because I'm, like, working and, you know, whatever. It would just be different. I would say my number one tip is allow there to be romance through fun gestures, big and small. Cute.

[A]

Like that time you sent me tiramisu.

[B]

Yeah. Or one time I ordered you. And this will get you bonus points. I ordered you and your roommate Nicole. Oh, Sushi. Because I wanted you to have someone to eat it with since I couldn't be there to eat it with you.

[A]

So cute.

[B]

And that. That'll get you big brownie points.

[A]

You're so cute.

[B]

Okay. Grossest habit you have.

[A]

Oof.

[B]

I mean, we're both nail biters.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, that. I would say that. I mean, to be honest. I mean, I. I definitely have some gross habits. I think nail biting and not throwing it away and throwing it on the ground.

[B]

Kendall will bite one of her nails off, take it out, and just drop it on the ground,

[A]

So. And I'm working on that.

[B]

Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty.

[A]

I know that's pretty gross.

[B]

Unhinged.

[A]

I know that's pretty gross, but I. I'm actually pretty embarrassed by that. Really? Yeah.

[B]

When I yell at you, you don't

[A]

care, but inside I go. Inside, I go. It's one of those moments, I think, when you bring it up to me, I go, you're letting yourself go, Kendall. You too comfortable with this lady. Yeah, you're way too comfortable. She's gonna start not wanting to. To kiss her. You're too comfortable.

[B]

This lady's very funny, but you know what I mean.

[A]

Yeah. Do you ever have that moment with your wife? It's like, you're so comfortable, and then all of a sudden, you're like, wait, wait a second. Am I not trying hard? Do I seem ugly and gross and weird?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

Or you'll do a voice. Or you. I feel like we'll have this address, too. We'll be, like, doing a baby voice with one another, and then we'll stop and be like. Like, you're still attractive.

[B]

You still think I'm hot, right? Also, I started getting my nails done, so I would stop biting and picking at my nails.

[A]

And you really did.

[B]

And, well, I can't. They're Japanese gel, and they're rock solid. I couldn't bite them off if I wanted to.

[A]

Damn. What's been your favorite job you guys have ever done? Would that be including, like, in this industry?

[B]

I would say, like, let's pick, like, jobs.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Because obviously my favorite job is being a comedian. But in terms of, like, just jobs,

[A]

I mean, I know mine. What is it? And I'm not even calling it a job. I'm not being a janitor. If I could make what?

[B]

Not a job, but you know what?

[A]

I know jobs that we did that

[B]

were, like, survival jobs.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. My job, being a janitor. If I could make what I made now, being a janitor, I'd pick it. Sorry. To this podcast. I loved being a janitor. It was awesome. And it felt like it really. It was so not stressful, and it really highlighted my strong suits, and I just felt like I excelled in that. And I would have. I would. Could see myself starting a janitorial company.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Not in the future. I just mean if I. If I literally wasn't a comedian.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I worked at a Mexican restaurant called Calexico for a long time, and I did, like, everything you could possibly do there, basically. And it's in New York. And I worked at multiple locations. I opened two of their locations.

[A]

Are they still open? Yeah.

[B]

And I. I really loved working there. And there was a time where I really liked everyone that I was working with.

[A]

That's a good feeling.

[B]

It was me. And then I had gotten Colin, our best friend, a job there. So Colin was working there with me. And then I liked, like, our bosses. Our friend Jasmine was a bartender. Our friend Makita was a server. Like, it was just, like, we all got along. And so even though the work was, like restaurant work, which is hard and sometimes sucks, it was nice because we all really liked each other. They played good music. It was always really crowded, so shifts went by really fast.

[A]

And you're, like, good at that. I feel like you're so personable, and

[B]

the food was really good. So when you got. Yeah, when you got your break, like, you just got to have, like, really good food.

[A]

If you could, I mean, like, take everything. Entertainment off the table. Tomorrow you have to do a job change.

[B]

And it has to be something, like, in the real world that I'm already good at.

[A]

Yes. Like, you couldn't be, like, a. An astronaut. Well, I don't want to tell you that.

[B]

Travel agent.

[A]

You'd be a travel agent. That's a cool job. You'd be great.

[B]

If I have to do it with the skill set I already have, because there are things where it's like, I don't want to own a company.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I could be, like, a college professor, I guess, if. If they were looking for people that wanted to teach things like improv or acting or whatever. But I love planning trips, and I'm really good at it, and I think that I would be a great, great travel planner.

[A]

Oh, I love that agent. I think I'd work at a bookstore or what. I. I do think I would work as a barista because I never worked as a barista.

[B]

Awful hours.

[A]

Oh, God, that's true. But I feel like it's one of those things. You'd get the hang of it. You say so, but I think, like, I, I. When I worked at a restaurant, I did not like working at a restaurant because of the. I worked at a very fancy restaurant. So it was. It was really stressful and everything felt like such a big deal and so intense. But. But I did enjoy that. The best I can describe it is, when you were a kid, did you ever play those video games that was like you pretend to work at a pizza restaurant or something?

[B]

No, I didn't play video games as a child. Okay.

[A]

You know that it was like, on Cool Math for Kids. Cool Math for Kids. Shout out, anybody. The crowd goes wild. The don't you love when I get insecure? While we're recording the podcast in my head, I'm going, God, you should just fucking quit.

[B]

Who did you want to respond to that? You wanted John to have a big reaction to Cool Math for Kids?

[A]

Kids. I don't.

[B]

How.

[A]

I don't think 2012 to 2015, anybody?

[B]

Yeah, John and I were like, adults then.

[A]

Yeah, you could play it as an adult. The games were fun. Anyways. It was called Papa's Pizzeria.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You could also do Papa's Taqueria. Papa's Ice Cream area. The names got a little phoned in, but it. I really enjoyed the, like, here's what I have to do, and here's. I'm trying to do as fast as I can, and I'm multitasking. And when I worked at a restaurant, I really enjoyed that being like, okay, I have one tray. I'm gonna bring these drinks, and I'm also gonna bring that side of ketchup that someone asked for, and I'm gonna do it all as fast as I like. I really loved doing that. And I think a barista feels like the chillest version of that at a local daiki coffee shop.

[B]

You know what feels like would be good for you with that is a place that had a really limited menu. Like, a place that had, like, really

[A]

flat coffee, almost quality good stuff.

[B]

Or like a matcha place or something. Like a place that really high quality, good stuff. But they only made, like, four different things, like, four drinks or whatever. And you could really, like, do a good job, because you've always said you'd be good working in a factory, which I also think is true.

[A]

Yeah. Or. I don't know if this is a job, but any. I've always been craving a job where I could just dig a big hole, like, you know what I mean?

[B]

A grave digger.

[A]

Well, but the famous Sad Timey Jones. I don't know, But I. I would. I think if someone. If someone gives me a singular task, I feel so relieved by it. Like, I feel. And I think a lot of people don't feel that way, but. For example, I just got a box cutter because we moved, and so we have thousands of boxes, and I'm not gonna get into it, but I got in trouble. The hoa. I put a box about him where I shouldn't.

[B]

Kendall was like, I'm gonna put. These boxes are too big to fit in the recycling, so I'm gonna put them, like, right next to the recycling. And I was like, don't do that. That's definitely not allowed. And she was like, you don't know what you're talking about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then what happens? The next day, we get an email from the HOA being like. Like, you're not allowed to do that.

[A]

And I sent the most embarrassing email back.

[B]

I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.

[A]

It won't happen again, sir, that's because

[B]

you were scared of me.

[A]

No, I was scared. I don't like being in trouble. I really don't. It's funny because. And you said this, and it's so true. You're like, you hate getting in trouble, but you put so little thought into things, or you'll so confidently do something you kind of know you shouldn't do. But then getting in trouble is, like, absolutely devastating.

[B]

Or just have, like, no clue. Like, you were like, this is definitely allowed. I was like, you haven't asked You. I know for a fact you have not read the HOA doc. Wait, have you read the HOA doc that they sent us?

[A]

No, of course not.

[B]

Of course not. But can look me in the eyes and be like, I know 100% for a fact that this is allowed and it's just made up.

[A]

I know. I know. And you know what? It's based on nothing. I know. And I. And seriously. But I. And I can't imagine what that's like to live with.

[B]

It's like, a level of confidence that people go to hell for. All right, that was too far. The hubris we read about.

[A]

John knows that was too far.

[B]

It's the hubris we read about in the Bible. Well, thank you. No, I don't know what hubris is, but. Oh, my God, Sounds like I'm in the Bible.

[A]

Anyways, my point is. Well, what I'll say TO that is 100, and I agree with you, and I apologize. And I really was like, I'm gonna work on it. And I am. But sometimes then I. After the fact, I look and I go, why did I do that? Like, what. What is wrong with me that I do that? That. And I think that it. I. I don't know how to say this. I. I feel as though I know so little, and I've. As. I've. As a kid having these learning disabilities, I was so confused.

[B]

Make it like this.

[A]

Yeah, I. And you're probably getting a. You probably feel pretty guilty now.

[B]

Don't make it like this.

[A]

No, I'm just. It's. But I'm trying. No, this is no excuse for me as an adult. As an adult, I got to get my together, but I'm like, why did I act like I was so confident? And I think it's like, as growing up feeling so confused, you learn to just, like, in a way that is crazy. And like, every assignment I did as a kid, at every. Like, I just bullshitted my way to.

[B]

To the top.

[A]

If I do say to myself, she

[B]

started to say that and then stopped herself and then was like, no, I

[A]

did pretty well for myself. Well, I think I did.

[B]

I think I got. No, you're doing extremely well for yourself.

[A]

I got really good at being like, I've got no idea what's going on, and I don't need to. I'm just gonna push right on through, and it's a habit that I need to. It's like, you don't need to do that anymore. And you're not bullshitting your wife. She knows you have no idea what you're doing, and you just need to, like, be like, oh, I don't know. I'm really trying to more so say now I have no idea.

[B]

Yeah, because you don't have good impulse control. I think that's part of it. I think that's why you did it. You were like, I don't want this box in our house anymore.

[A]

Yeah. I felt like if I didn't get out of my house in that moment, I was gonna absolutely explode.

[B]

Yeah. So I think you have bad impulse control. And then Also, you don't like to be told what to do.

[A]

Not by you. I. I like. I don't mind other people telling me. And then certain settings.

[B]

Just kidding. You don't like being told what to do? Yes, in certain settings. And that is.

[A]

So you think I'd be a good.

[B]

What? Annoying to me? What?

[A]

Are we still talking about what you thought I'd be good at for a little bit? Oh, bigging. Digging a hole.

[B]

Digging big holes.

[A]

Yeah, digging big holes. I always said that, but I. Oh, I. The box cutter. Oh, that's my point. So the box cutter.

[B]

She found it.

[A]

I found it. We're back. The box cutter. It's like I have thousands of boxes. What it feels like to cut down that day. Sounds like heaven. I'm like, I'm gonna turn on a pod.

[B]

My nightmare.

[A]

I'm gonna cut boxes for hours, and I will be doing what I'm supposed to do. I only have one thing I'm supposed to do, and it's the same thing over and over again. I don't have to think at all. I love it. And so for that reason, I think I'd be good in a factory.

[B]

Somebody got into an Amazon warehouse.

[A]

I know. Well, I do worry, though. I don't think I'd work in a factory because I'm worried about getting carpal tunnel. Next question. How. Oh, I. Yes, that. This says, how do you eat? Non. Binary. I don't have an answer for that.

[B]

The same as regular. I don't want to say regular. Yeah, not regular, Kendall. Well, you know, the same as always.

[A]

I don't know. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. The way you regularly do it.

[A]

The way you'd regularly do it unless

[B]

they request something else.

[A]

Right. What has. What's the most unhinged? This was supposed to be a quick kiss situation you've been in.

[B]

Like, something that was supposed to just be a kiss, and then it turned into it. Like a situation ship.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Like, oh, we're just gonna have a quick kiss, and then all of a sudden, you're, like, having sex. I don't know if we have one of those.

[B]

I. I can't think of a time when.

[A]

Sorry. We have jobs, we're working.

[B]

I don't think I'm typically kissing someone if I'm not open to the possibility of something more happening. Anytime Jordan kisses me, she's prepared, I'm ready.

[A]

That we are going to.

[B]

Absolutely. Really? No, but I mean before we were dating, because I have to assume this is about. In our lives, and I Also think,

[A]

once again, we were long distance. So I think it's like the beginning of our relationship is where that would. Maybe I'm wrong was where I feel like that would happen the most. And we were like, long distance.

[B]

But even with dating, it was like if I was on a date with someone and we kissed and then we hooked up to offer, I wouldn't be like, where?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

How did this happen?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. Next question. I laughed the first time my ex boyfriend came and I didn't mean to. Something said that.

[B]

Oh, they just wanted us to hear that. I think that's beautiful. I think that's beautiful.

[A]

I actually had that once with a guy who like, screamed because I had never. I like, was like, what the is happening? And then he was like, I just came and I was like, didn't your

[B]

mom teach you about sex?

[A]

Well, yeah, but she didn't do a degree. What? She wasn't like, showing me footage of a man ejaculating, which I don't think she went wrong. Yeah, I think I just didn't. I was already out as a lesbian at the time, and I. I literally was just kind of. Yeah. So then I. I gave a little hand job and then I. I think I just didn't know what. I don't know what I thought was gonna happen. I think it was more than I expected, if I do say so myself.

[B]

And you were just like, I should try this out.

[A]

It's complicated. I was. I. Yeah, I think I felt an emotional connection to this person, but I felt like I kept desperately trying to make it physically make sense, and it absolutely. I could not.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And they were objectively very attractive.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And I knew once again, I was already. But I. I had a moment with myself where I was like, Well, I. I think I can admit to. I had a little crush on this. This guy. And I was like, already out as a lesbian. Never had anything with a guy, and was like, well, you wouldn't. Don't hinder yourself by putting yourself in this box. Like, if you like someone who cares, you'll have to be like, oh, you have to. Jojo Siwa. What's the big deal? And so when we were just talking, I could feel that connection, but physically, it was specifically. I don't honestly know how to describe it. I've never been more sure I was gay in my life just by. Like, I couldn't kiss him. And I just felt like. Like tense and like how people describe it when they've had sex with a guy before. They Came out as gay.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But. Yeah, but I'm very. I'm very giving, so I.

[B]

You're so generous.

[A]

Before I walked out, I said, I'll give you a handy.

[B]

You're so sweet. You are so sweet.

[A]

And then I screamed in his face and I did think I said. I said, what's happening? And then like 10 minutes later, I went, I'm so sorry. I'm really, really gay. Yeah. He said, I know. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Gross.

[A]

Oh, we already did this one. Sorry. Sorry. How long would you date? How long would you wait to start dating again if you were a widowed. Man?

[B]

How'd she die?

[A]

She died sick.

[B]

You're sick.

[A]

Sick.

[B]

Long sickness, long sickness.

[A]

And then one of us got hit by of a bunch do both dead. Oh, fuck. Then we fuck his ghosts. Yeah, no, like, I think you have to do both. Like, one's a long sickness planned. One of them's like, plane crash.

[B]

I mean, I think long sickness dating probably sooner.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because it's less shocking.

[A]

Plus, you're probably in like some grief group where everyone's going through the same. You're gonna meet someone there.

[B]

Absolutely. I think that happens a lot.

[A]

It's like, you know, people whose kids are kidnapped by serial killers often date another person whose kid was kidnapped, been killed by.

[B]

Yeah, well, it's such a specific experience. Don't ever quote her on that because God knows where she got that statistic.

[A]

I know that JonBenet Ramsey's dad remarried to a woman who. So.

[B]

So that.

[A]

So when I say most of the time, I mean, I heard one story about one person and you know what? And you all for giving me a mic. Yep.

[B]

And you should know that when Kendall says most of the time, she means she heard about it one time.

[A]

Well, but when I read that, I was like, that makes sense though. I'm sure that happens.

[B]

I think a lot of people. And that's why a lot of widower end up together, because you're in the same boat and they get it.

[A]

If I was like, with someone and then we'd been together a while and I was very in love, but I started, like crying about you. They wouldn't be like, wait, do you still love you? Yes. I'm like, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna get back together with my dead wife. Exactly. No, it completely makes sense. So I think, yeah, long sickness, you're gonna date sooner. Sudden thing. I think it takes longer because you're in so much shock. But I think this is something that I always, always think about my friend, her father passed away very suddenly. And her mom started dating sooner than I think my friend felt comfortable with. And my friend's therapist was like, well, think about it. Your mom signed up to be a wife and a partner and live with someone and make decisions together with someone and all these things. And that was ripped away from her because my friend. Friend's father passed very suddenly and she was like, so your mom had those things revoked from her life. Right.

[A]

It's a lifestyle.

[B]

Yes. Without any say.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it makes sense that, yes, she misses your dad. Yes, she loves your dad, but at the same time, she doesn't want to be alone. She doesn't want to live alone. She doesn't want to have to do everything alone. So that's why some people start dating sooner because they wanted to be in a partnership and they lost that. Not just the person they love, but also, like, all the elements of their life that they actively chose.

[A]

I agree. And you'll hear people talk about that too, with kids too. Like, if they lose a kid and then they want to have a kid or they adopt or they, whatever. And people are like, that feels weird, like you're replacing your kid or what? And they're like, but I want to be a mom. And like, yeah, I wanted. I've planned my whole life around being a mom. And it's not my fault. It's not my fault this horrible thing happened. I still want. Want to be a mom. I think especially when people adopt, they're like, I have a home that's, like, desperate for a child, even if it's not that no one will replace that child, but, like, why would I not open my home when I want to do that? And I do think it's like, similar. I. I definitely feel like I would really for you want you to find someone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, quick, not quickly, but, like, I. I don't think I would feel any different about a certain timeline. Yeah. I mean, maybe wait till after. Don't. Don't hook up with someone at my funeral.

[B]

Well, we'll see who shows. Up, up.

[A]

Now, come on. You know there's going to be a lot of hot lesbians at my funeral.

[B]

Who do you think is the most famous person that would come to your funeral if you had a funeral tomorrow?

[A]

Knock on wood.

[B]

Someone knock on wood.

[A]

John KN. Most famous. This is so amazing. I posted as a clip. They respond, no, I actually, tomorrow. Who's the most. Oh, that's a good question. Who's the most famous person that would come to my funeral? Do you know anyone? I I'm trying to think.

[B]

It's like who's the most famous person? You know? I guess. Or who's your most famous fan?

[A]

Well, no, because I don't think fans would be coming to my funeral.

[B]

But if they're, if they're very famous and they're a fan of yours, they might come to pay their respects.

[A]

Pete Buttigieg.

[B]

You think Pete Buttigieg would come to your funeral?

[A]

I think Pete Buttigieg and his whole family would be at my funeral. You think? Yeah, they're fans.

[B]

Yeah, him and his husband both.

[A]

They really like me, Paula.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That can't be the most famous person though. I mean.

[B]

No, that's a good one. Because I can think of our friends that are notable.

[A]

Oh, sure, sure. That come and, and, and I'm sure Pete Buttigieg is busy.

[B]

Well, we don't know.

[A]

Who do you think is the most famous person that would come to yours?

[B]

My impulse was to be like hours.

[A]

And then I was like, wait, no,

[B]

it's not a wedding, it's a funeral. Who's the most famous person?

[A]

Jennifer Hudson, maybe?

[B]

No, she liked me, but not enough to come to my funeral.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

I know, I know. She's busy too. A daytime talk show. She films every day. She can't come to my funeral just cuz we did a segment together one time. Who's the most famous? I mean, I guess like probably people I've worked for. Like Rhett and Link. Yeah, maybe. Maybe Rhett and Link would definitely come to my funeral.

[A]

No, I'm not questioning that. I'm questioning if they're the most famous people. You know, I don't even want to give them that. I don't want to tell them that. Love you guys. But the most famous. I'm thinking big. I'm like, I was like, okay, would Obama come? Jennifer Aniston?

[B]

Why would they come?

[A]

They wouldn't. But that's the people. That's the caliber I'm thinking about. Rosie o' Donnell might come.

[B]

Come. She just follows you. Yes.

[A]

I don't have any. I, I, I. Who are lesbian icons? Haley Kyoko? I come.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Damn, this sucks. I thought we were going to have bigger people. I have to wait longer to die until someone good can come to my funeral.

[B]

Who do you think would like. Who were you hoping to think?

[A]

I was thinking like big. I was like, oh, I probably have someone really good. And now I'm just realizing it's just friends and family.

[B]

I heard a lot of the people on the Pit are dropout fans.

[A]

Oh, yeah, well, the dropout. Maybe they'll be like. But I'm not even that involved.

[B]

I was talking about mine.

[A]

Oh. But if. If they would come to yours, they'd come to mine because they know I'd be. You'd be so sad.

[B]

Oh, they'd be there for me.

[A]

Yeah, they'd be there for you.

[B]

Interesting. I think that counts. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I got Pete Booty.

[B]

Don't call him that.

[A]

Pete Booty. I really didn't mean to say that. But then I'm like, I bet that's some weird conservative thing they called him. Probably.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Huh. We're running for president anyways.

[B]

Next question.

[A]

Next question. What are the acts that make you swoon? Perhaps a cheeky wink or speaking a different language.

[B]

I mean, sure, yes, speaking a second language is hot. Kendall can't do that. But that's hot, right?

[A]

Okay, moving on. And I think a wink is hot. Okay. Yeah, I think that's really hot.

[B]

That's fun.

[A]

You know that?

[B]

Yeah. An act.

[A]

I think, like, teasing is really hard.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I think. I love when you dance, you know that?

[A]

That's hilarious, because my dancing is not what I would consider.

[B]

But you're very free when you dance.

[A]

Very free. I'm really moving from just inside, and I love that. And it brings me a lot of joy. I'm very happy. Yeah. Jordan makes me dance for them almost every single night.

[B]

I like when you, like, fix something.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Very rare. But when it happens.

[B]

Yeah, I love that. Yeah.

[A]

I like when you throw your towel over your shoulder while you're cooking. Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's a good one. That's a really good one.

[A]

That's a good one.

[B]

That's a move all poll.

[A]

Is it a bad sign that we've been on six dates and still haven't kissed? We've shared a bed, though. That's crazy. And I. What? Are you at camp together?

[B]

Yeah. Why have you shared a bed?

[A]

What in God's name.

[B]

This has to be from a lesbian. Stop doing stuff like that. Why? That's disgusting.

[A]

No, that's weird. As you're adults, honestly, unless you work at Casper Mattresses in.

[B]

And you think that's what it is. You work in store at Casper Mattresses

[A]

and you happen to fall asleep at the same time on your.

[B]

On your job. You both get fired.

[A]

Yeah. That's the only way that's acceptable. Do not. I'll tell you. You're coming to the. You're barking up the wrong tree. If you're a lesbian or you're Bi. And you tell me you're intimidated by women. Don't even try to say it to me because that's what this is giving. Why have you not kissed just a person you've shared a bed with?

[B]

I don't have an answer it. But you know, maybe it's something like. There. But we were friends first, so we shared a bed before.

[A]

You don't share beds with friends.

[B]

You don't.

[A]

Yes, you do. If I've. Yes, you do.

[B]

You've definitely shared a bed with Nicole.

[A]

Okay, but I've. Nicole and I would. No, this is what's different. Nicole and I. Okay. You can share a bed with friends. You do not share beds with friends. Means that you would kiss.

[B]

Unless you want to kiss.

[A]

Yeah, but then put on your big girl boots, honey, and kiss her as

[B]

opposed to your little girl boots.

[A]

Don't put on those little tiny light up boots that you have. Don't. I think that's crazy. I think you need to. I think you need to, like. I think that is crazy. I don't think it's a bad sign. I think you just need to, like, get it together.

[B]

Yeah. Why aren't you kissing? That's weird. Just do it.

[A]

But I think that's part of the problem here. Even the way you've posed the question. I love you so much, but is it a bad sign? There's no signs. You're in control of yourself.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So there's no signs if. Is it a bad sign we've kissed? No. You just haven't leaned in and touched your lips to hers, you weirdo. Yeah.

[B]

You said maybe try that single part of that wrong. But I respect you.

[A]

I joined a gay throuple because I was bored. I didn't like either of. I didn't like either of them. Am I an. You seem like you. You have no control over yourself. Over yourself.

[B]

It seems like you want attention.

[A]

Oh, no. And that's probably rough.

[B]

I think that's rough. I think if you really want attention, you have to find acceptable ways to get it, unfortunately. Or you're toxic and scary. And that's coming from. Kendall and I both like attention. I think you have to find something that's a socially acceptable way. Take up ice skating or something. Where. Where it's reasonable for you to want attention in that space. You can't just go around wanting attention in people's lives and wreaking havoc.

[A]

Because I think.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I'm putting a lot on you. But. So maybe this isn't your experience, but I feel like I've experienced people who are like, I just don't want to hurt their feelings or like, I don't know, they were nice. So I just like don't know how to shut up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it irritates me so much because actually you're being so, and I never use this word almost narcissistic where I'm like, like you think that their time is so invaluable that they'd rather you waste their time constantly while you to podcast being like I. And thank you for doing so. We love you so much. You write into podcast asking if you're an for not liking them. Yeah. Cuz you're wasting their time and you're wasting your time. But I'm so that's your choice if you want to waste your time. Okay. But like to think it all like, oh, I'm being so like crazy and I'm being so weird for not for dating these two guys that I don't even like. That's really rude. I have to tell you how it is because I love you and you have to stop.

[B]

So you decided this is a gay man.

[A]

Let me go to the profile.

[B]

Let me go to the profile.

[A]

I don't know what I'm hoping that the bio is. I'm a gay man.

[B]

I'm a gay man who once was in a throuple where I hated the two other people. They were also gay men.

[A]

Maybe I'm wrong. Wrong. Actually I can't tell. The, the profile picture is too small. You look very cute. But no, I can't maybe whoever it is, doesn't matter. Same advice.

[B]

I do think it's behavior and I think it's behavior to them and I think it's behavior to yourself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we love you and there's plenty of time to change. But just go be in a throuple with two people you like. At least one person you like. Right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

But that's a dangerous. I've had, I've experienced people doing that. That where they join a throuple where they only really like one of the

[A]

people that is really, really messed up.

[B]

Do not do that.

[A]

What's the most embarrassing moment when you've gotten uncontrollable. I, I, I got to the end. I don't want to talk about potty humor but where you've had to show

[B]

yourself and it's the craziest place.

[A]

What's the most embarrassing moment? You've gotten uncontrollable diarrhea.

[B]

The most embarrassing. Oh God. There's been so Many. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I was on a JetBlue flight. Front. I was at the very front.

[B]

First class.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Very front of coach. And this is years ago. I don't know what happened. I was incredibly sick. I had to get up probably every five minutes and go to the bathroom. I'm at the very front, so everyone sees what's happening. And the bathroom is right.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

They're watching me go in and out of the bathroom every five minutes. Every single time I stood up, I hit my head on the overhead compartment, without fail, hard. And that was embarrassing.

[B]

That's so you. That's so funny and cute. I love envisioning that. What fun that is.

[A]

And every time, of course, you. I turned.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

Sorry. Apologize. Got a diary again.

[B]

Sorry, sorry.

[A]

I have more diarrhea. It was super embarrassing. What about you?

[B]

You know what? Mine was probably on a flight, too. That's also what I was gonna say. I was flying back from London ON my 21st birthday, from London back to New York, work. And I was flying standby because my dad worked at the airport growing up. And so it's marked that I'm like family of an employee.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I got to sit in first class, which was so. I was like, oh, my God, my 21st birthday, whatever. And the turbulence got so bad and I got so scared. And this was before I was medicated in general and medicated for flying. And I was so scared, the flight attendant had to come over and, like, talk to me and hold my hand, and I couldn't get up and go to the bathroom. Yeah, I couldn't get up and go to the bathroom because of the seatbelt signs. The flight attendant was like, I have to go sit down in my seat and strap myself in. So I don't, like, fly up and hit the roof of the plane. And I was like, okay. And she's like, but it's gonna be okay. And then I.

[A]

You did?

[B]

Yeah. That's awful. It was really my 21st birthday. Wow. It was rough.

[A]

God, that's awful.

[B]

It was rough.

[A]

That really makes my heart break for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't like the thought of you being in the that scenario.

[B]

So scared.

[A]

You're lucky I was not on that flight. I would have been like, she's going,

[B]

well, no, because I didn't want to go in the bathroom. And then what? I fly up and hit the ceiling of the bathroom?

[A]

It would have. You think that would have been worse than what happened?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I would rather dying.

[B]

You could die that way.

[A]

I would rather Die than shit myself slowly alone on an airplane.

[B]

Wow. Okay.

[A]

I would. I really would.

[B]

Well, once you're in the situation, you let me know.

[A]

When I heard about that flight that had to be grounded because a man shit so much on the flight, it made me so. So empathetic to him, of course, that I thought about it for months.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And anytime. And even now, thinking about it, you can. You can hear my chest, my tightness in my throat. I. I'm. I hate that. I hate that. The thought of someone being sick, it gets me.

[B]

The thought of someone being sick and alone and then it ruins everything for everyone else is like a nightmare. Okay, one more quick one.

[A]

Okay. Okay. I'm trying to find a opinions on lingerie. I think you know why I picked this one. Worth it and love to see it on your partner or not worth the money. Get naked. I mean, I think you've always been like, what? Why?

[B]

Not why? I get it. But I'm like, I think to me you look sexy in everything. So you in a bra and underwear versus you in like jeans and a T shirt. It's like all sexy to me.

[A]

Yes. But don't you feel like there's a different essence? Like, like, okay, when I've worn it, yes, I feel sexier, which I love. But doesn't that feel sexier to you

[B]

if you're feeling sexy? I love that. So I'm like pro it if you like it, but it's not something in a larger context. It's not something I need. Right. It's not something where I'm like, like, oh, this is. And I think that would not just be for you, but for any. I'm kind of like, yeah, if you're into it. I love that. If you don't want to wear it, then I'm into that too. I don't feel strongly about it.

[A]

Yes. Wait, can we do one more?

[B]

Yeah. Hurry up.

[A]

Someone said that they it was too long, so they sent a dm.

[B]

Oh my God. Can we do one more quick one? That's so long it wouldn't even fit in the text box.

[A]

So I'm still in love with the first girl I've ever been with. We met in College in 2018 playing club sport together. But it was all very taught this Megan rapper know Megan Rapinoe. But it was all very toxic and emotional since day one. We went no contact for many years until a year ago when she called me out of the blue. We live states away and haven't seen each other for five years. We also Only talk when I were both single. What do I do? Help? Do we get back together and do long distance? Do we never talk again?

[B]

I think get back together and do long distance, and then if you break up again, then you'll know it wasn't right. But you're clearly having these feelings, and it seems urgent. And she's clearly having these feelings too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So.

[A]

So why not? And you're in different places. This is so long ago. I mean, if you're eight years ago. Yeah.

[B]

And if you're both single, like, who cares? What's there to lose? You might break up, and then you might feel sad, but you also could break up and feel sad with someone else.

[A]

But I also think if you ended it right now, you'd be sad. Yes, you will be sad eventually.

[B]

Well, but maybe not. Maybe if they do end up together and then they are together forever, I think. Think of the logistics of it. Think about why you broke up. Did you break up because you were young and dumb and a stupid reason? Great. Did you break up because they were, like, a chronic cheater? Investigate that, I think. But I think do it. I think with stuff like that, you're always gonna wonder. And now it's like, you know, it's not like you're like, I'm married. Should I divorce my wife to see how things go with this woman? It's like, it really seems like there's little to no baggage. That's just trying it out front.

[A]

I think you should be like, hey, I still really like you. Yeah, I would love to, but I. I don't think you should just let it. Let's give it a shot. If you play basketball, let's give it a shot. And then swish. Film a video of you shooting a swish.

[B]

Yeah. Shooting a switcher.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Megan Rapinoe.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Sue Bird, who's the football player or the basketball player. But one more thing is that I also think, though, that don't be too hard on yourself about. I mean, depending on how toxic it is. Toxic it is. Like, I know. I don't know the level of toxicity, but I think when you're in college, most people's relationships are kind of toxic. Yeah. And of course, to varying degrees. But I even think I have exes, that I'm like, we had a really toxic relationship. If, God forbid, I'm with widowed and widowed, and then we got back together. I don't think it would be toxic the same way. Because we're adults now, you know, college. You're not adults. Yeah.

[B]

It doesn't mean you're not a good match, but I think the vibe will be very different.

[A]

Yes. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed. My instinct would say praise God, which I don't know why I'm not religious, but okay. Thank God it's over. Another amazing episode.

[B]

Another amazing episode.

[A]

Thank you all so much for being here. We absolutely adore you. Make sure to listen anywhere you get your podcast if you are. Let me say that again, but we're not editing it, so you just have to hear this. If you're listening any regular podcast, make sure to like and review it. It helps us out so much. Jordan's looking at me with a great level of disappointment.

[B]

No, I'm just looking at you. I'm letting you do your spiel.

[A]

And if you are watching on YouTube,

[B]

make sure to subscribe. We just love you.

[A]

And make sure to follow us on Instagram. Bye.

[B]

And join our Patreon. Happy Monday, Yahoo. Okay, pretty good. No edits. What do we think?