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- [00:01]
A
A mochi moment from Sadie, who writes, I'm not crying. You're crying. This is what I said during my first appointment with my physician at Mochi because I didn't have to convince him I needed a GLP one. He understood and I felt supported, not judged. I came for the weight loss and stayed for the empathy. Thanks, Sadie. I'm Mayra Ameth, founder of Mochi Health. To find your mochi moment, visit joinmochi.com
- [00:27]
B
Sadie is emoji member compensated for her story. Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life. We're your hosts. I'm Kendall Landrin.
- [00:33]
A
I'm Jordan Meyer.
- [00:34]
B
And we are two incredibly under qualified
- [00:37]
A
but deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episode, Kendall messed up the intro. That was crazy.
- [00:53]
B
That was crazy.
- [00:54]
A
That was wild.
- [00:55]
B
That feels like when you do, you know, when you, like, forget, like, what
- [00:58]
A
year it is or like you forget, like, someone's name. Like this morning.
- [01:01]
B
No, like your best friend's name. And just for like a second you're like, yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly. I had that.
- [01:07]
A
I was this morning thinking about telling you something, but I thought about saying it in my mind before I said it out loud. And I. The way I thought about it was like, rachel, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
- [01:19]
B
Okay. Who's that?
- [01:20]
A
Isn't that wild? Who's Rachel Chapman?
- [01:23]
B
Oh, that's who you were thinking of?
- [01:24]
A
Probably.
- [01:25]
B
Well, that was like, the other day, Gwynedd was over and I called her Ingrid and I told her. I was like, I. Not only are you not Ingrid, I don't know, an Ingred.
- [01:32]
A
Not only are you not Ingrid, I
- [01:34]
B
don't know a single Ingred. It's not like that's a name. I. Oh, I meant I called you my best friend Ingrid's name. I don't know. An Ingred.
- [01:41]
A
Yes.
- [01:41]
B
I used to want to name my daughter Ingrid. I thought it was classy. I think it's a cute name, but I'm over it. Oh, no. I moved on to other things, other names. Like, you know, my names that I would name my daughter if I had one. I think Ingrid. Ingrid is. You know why? Because sometimes a name I think will be cute and then it'll kind of be taken by the tradwife world.
- [02:00]
A
Sure.
- [02:00]
B
And then you're like, oh, I don't want to like the term. I used to love the name Mabel, but then I feel like the trad wife's kind of got hold of it, and then it feels like I'm naming my kid some like, evangelical name.
- [02:14]
A
What about Maple?
- [02:15]
B
I feel like they've done it with that, too. Oh, I feel like anything that feels like old school, because I love, like, an old school name.
- [02:22]
A
Sure.
- [02:23]
B
I'm really old school.
- [02:24]
A
You're so. You're such an old soul.
- [02:26]
B
Right, right. No, I love that. Like, I love. Like, I. Well, we've always talked about Winifred. Like, I love kind of old names that people.
- [02:35]
A
We've always talked about Winifred. What?
- [02:40]
B
You and I have said that we like the name Winifred because maybe this will jog your memory because we said that it. Then for short, we could call her Winnie. And that's so cute. Sure. Do you not remember this?
- [02:52]
A
I feel like it's probably come up. But to say we always talk about Winifred was very confusing.
- [02:58]
B
We have, like, five names that we've been like, oh, that'd be cute. We'd name her.
- [03:00]
A
Sure, sure, sure.
- [03:01]
B
And Winifred was one of them. Or.
- [03:02]
A
No, I guess so.
- [03:04]
B
I already. The birth certificate's already done. No, no, I. There's already tension in the studio this morning because I have a horrible sunburn. And guess whose fault it is.
- [03:14]
A
It's not my fault.
- [03:15]
B
Yes, it is, because you know why? At the beach yesterday, you said.
- [03:18]
A
I said put sunscreen on my butt. Yeah. And there's your sunburn on your upper back.
- [03:26]
B
So, no, it's not just on.
- [03:27]
A
Why would that be my fault?
- [03:29]
B
It's not. So I'm laying on my stomach reading my book. I said, babe, put some sunscreen on my. My ass. Jordan, the. My ass is not sunburned. My. My entire back and all of my legs just sunburned. So why you thought. Because what I think happened is you thought it was fun in games. You thought it was just, like, recreational time to play around back there. And now I'm in a lot of pain.
- [03:53]
A
You said, put sunscreen on my butt, and that's what I did because I assumed you had already put sunscreen everywhere else. And I watched you put sunscreen on, so I knew you put some sunscreen on, so I assumed you already put
- [04:06]
B
in every room, took it as a game. I feel like you took the sunscreen. You were too distracted by my butt.
- [04:11]
A
Well, sure, but why would I put sunscreen elsewhere if you say, specifically put it on my butt?
- [04:15]
B
Well, I'm really sunburned, and it really hurt. This morning in the shower, I, like, could hardly. I could hardly stand it.
- [04:20]
A
I don't want to be rude. You're not that sunburned, babe.
- [04:23]
B
I Literally am.
- [04:24]
A
You're really not talking about. Yes, I am. You're really not that sunburned.
- [04:27]
B
Oh, my God. You know what happened this morning?
- [04:30]
A
We've taken a couple hits this morning. Kendall and I, when we come here to record, we go by a specific fast food restaurant that's normally once a week. And this morning, we placed our mobile order, went through the drive through. I get to the window, and the woman leans almost fully out the window, and she says, we didn't see you last week.
- [04:54]
B
Yeah, we were out of town last week. So our recording schedule is a little different. And the entire staff at this restaurant. Restaurant's generous, but this restaurant really called us out and they noticed.
- [05:05]
A
Embarrassing.
- [05:06]
B
Really embarrassing.
- [05:07]
A
But it means I'm just an active member of my community, and I love to see that. I think that's really.
- [05:11]
B
I love to give back to local
- [05:13]
A
change, but I also feel like I'm very. You know. Cause Kendall was like, how do they remember us? Like, they see millions of people, but
- [05:23]
B
also probably not accurate.
- [05:26]
A
They see hundreds of millions of people every day. And I'm. But I'm like. I feel like I'm always like, hey, how are you? And I always play through the mobile order.
- [05:35]
B
Sweetie cutie.
- [05:35]
A
Is whatever a specific thing. I order a cheese biscuit, but they don't have that as an option. You can't, like, get a biscuit and add cheese.
- [05:42]
B
You have to get an egg.
- [05:43]
A
Cheese biscuit, no egg. And then the first couple times I did it, they gave it to me with egg, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. Can I please out with no egg? And then they started giving it to me, right? But every time I would come up to the window, they'd go, no egg. And I'm like, I know, no egg. Sorry. And now, am I crazy that wanting
- [05:56]
B
just cheese on a biscuit is really deeply normal?
- [05:59]
A
To me it is. But maybe that's a Southern thing, like a cheese biscuit or cheese toast. Like, that's very normal.
- [06:05]
B
Oh, my God. When I was growing up, my dad wanted cheese toast. That was like a breakfast of choice for him.
- [06:11]
A
Yeah, my dad, too. My dad goes through, like, cheese toast phases.
- [06:14]
B
And it was, like, stressful because you put it. I mean, I wasn't primarily the one doing it. Usually it was my mom, but ever so often, I'd be like, I was put in charge of making the cheese toast. And you put it. You have to put it on broil. Which is a dangerous game, you guys. I know that's true. You put it on broil. And the cheese is completely, completely uncooked. And then you just pop into the restroom for half a second. You come out, it's, like, charred.
- [06:37]
A
You've never been in the restroom for half a second. To be clear.
- [06:41]
B
Yeah, I said it. The cheese is fine. You pop in the restroom, you play six hours of your farm game. Your toast is all melted.
- [06:47]
A
Your toast is burnt. Your house is on fire.
- [06:49]
B
Exactly.
- [06:50]
A
Today we're doing a Q and A. What's going on with you? This morning you couldn't see it, but
- [06:55]
B
I winked at Jordan. I'm.
- [06:56]
A
Your energy's crazy.
- [06:57]
B
Wait, why did you. That was so rude. Do you know what? Okay. In the car ride over, I was, like, sharing some thoughts. I had, like, just ideas. Like, I was kind of. I don't. I was talking about a movie, and then I was talking about a different movie, and then I was talking about kind of like, my thoughts on. Basically. Okay. What I said was, do you think after the Help came out, the movie, that sales of chocolate pies went down? And Jordan said, very. You seemed so disinterested. You said, I don't think they have statistics on that. I'm just. Okay. I wasn't saying if there's a specific statistic. Statistic. I'm asking. When the movie the Help came out, do you think, like, less people ate chocolate pies? Because I know for me, I love chocolate pie, but every time I eat one, I think of the movie the Help, and it is a little bit weird right before you eat something to be like, oh, I'm remembering this scene in a movie where someone shit up high.
- [07:55]
A
Sure, yeah. I don't know. It just. I didn't know what to say.
- [08:00]
B
And then you said.
- [08:01]
A
You said, I didn't know what to say.
- [08:04]
B
You seem so disinterested. Jordan goes staring straight ahead, 10 and 2, hands at 10 and 2. Well, I saw the Help a really long time ago, and I never think about it.
- [08:16]
A
I said, okay, well, sorry.
- [08:18]
B
So much for our morning comment conversation.
- [08:20]
A
Well, it was just, like, so out of nowhere. And I was like, I don't have anything to say to that.
- [08:24]
B
But you know, what a very homophobic, religious English teacher in middle school. And he was not great in a lot of ways, but he told me this thing that I will always remember, and I take it into many parts of my life. He says, I really do think about this a lot. He says,
- [08:45]
A
gay people are going to
- [08:47]
B
hell, and I think about that all the time. No, he said. He said, stupid people.
- [08:53]
A
You can't even remember it. You can't even remember the thing you think about all the time.
- [08:57]
B
That's the essence of it.
- [08:59]
A
What was it?
- [08:59]
B
He basically said, like, I'm getting it wrong. I'm sure about it. He said, like, stupid people talk about other people, smart people talk about events, and truly intellectual people talk about ideas.
- [09:15]
A
I have multiple thoughts to this. So first and foremost, you love talking about people, so keep that in mind.
- [09:20]
B
I also like talk. I think I try, though, to talk about ideas more. And I think my bringing up the fact I wonder if less people ate chocolate pies after Octavia Spencer played that character in the Help. I think that's a curious. I think that's a curious idea to explore.
- [09:41]
A
Well, thank you.
- [09:42]
B
Seen it and she doesn't care.
- [09:44]
A
I have seen it. I'm just like, I have nothing. I'm so sorry. I truly don't. I'm rarely not sure what to say. I have nothing to contribute. I have absolutely nothing to contribute.
- [09:55]
B
Wow.
- [09:56]
A
And I almost never feel that way. Wow. But we have plenty of things to talk about.
- [10:01]
B
Yeah, that's fine.
- [10:02]
A
Is this a breaking point?
- [10:06]
B
No, I just, you know, makes me feel like you're. You're. You're. What do they call it? You're.
- [10:12]
A
Oh, my God.
- [10:13]
B
You're bored of me.
- [10:14]
A
You couldn't remember the word bored.
- [10:16]
B
Okay, you know what? We're moving on to the question. Love you. No, I am just, like. You know what it is? I'm just excited to be here with you. You.
- [10:24]
A
I don't think that's it. Are you kidding me?
- [10:27]
B
What do you mean?
- [10:27]
A
I don't think that's it.
- [10:28]
B
What do you think it is?
- [10:29]
A
I don't know.
- [10:30]
B
Well, part of it is I'm curious if sales of chicken pies went down.
- [10:34]
A
Are you tired?
- [10:35]
B
No. What do you mean, am I tired? No, I'm not tired. I mean, I just. I'm really just. I feel like I'm acting completely normal.
- [10:43]
A
Am I acting crazy?
- [10:44]
B
I think so. A little. Well, not crazy.
- [10:46]
A
Drop in the comments. Who's acting crazy?
- [10:47]
B
Rude, I think, is the better.
- [10:48]
A
Drop in the comments. Who's acting rude?
- [10:50]
B
No, I'm not acting either I'm acting crazy. You're being rude. Or both, and that could be an option.
- [10:54]
A
I'm being rude.
- [10:55]
B
Okay, let's get to the question.
- [10:56]
A
You're the boy who cried rude.
- [10:57]
B
We. We don't have time to get into that. Are we answering email questions today? Yes. Everybody, look alive. We have an email that you can email hwhlpod questions gmail.com if you ever Want to write in. And we've been doing a lot more of these because I feel like we get so many questions sent to our email that people are indeed so juicy. We used to do one of these email questions, like once a month, but I feel like there's just so many juicy ones. I know that we've been like, we gotta do more.
- [11:28]
A
Yeah. The people need our help.
- [11:30]
B
They really do. So do you want to get into it?
- [11:34]
A
Yeah. My wife and I, both mid-20s, female, are currently planning our wedding. A section of our friend group is all devoutly Catholic. We don't find a lot of issues with this. Generally we get along and we occasionally have good discussions about their faith. They don't push anything on us and they enjoy our questions to try to understand this part of their life. They have all always been completely fine and supportive of our relationship. We asked two of them to be in our wedding party and they said they cannot because of their faith. They both said they can come to the ceremony but cannot be in the wedding party because it would be supporting a non Catholic marriage. They were clear that this would also be the case with a heterosexual wedding of a different faith. There is also the possibility that another one of our Catholic friends won't go to the ceremony at all. I've been a bit torn up about this. On one hand, I respect their faith and I know it's not just because we're gay. On the other hand, we've known them for 10 years. At this point, he is just one of our closest friends. And it upsets me that he isn't able to support our marriage like that. Part of me is thinking that I don't want to be friends with people who cannot support my marriage wholeheartedly. But cutting these friends out, there's a total of 5 to 6. Feels a bit drastic.
- [12:45]
B
That's hard.
- [12:46]
A
Yeah.
- [12:47]
B
Yeah. I mean, I think it does help that it's not just the gay thing. That feels like, kind of nice.
- [12:52]
A
Sure. I think I'm confused. I went to Catholic school for many, many years. Some of my family is Catholic. I'm very familiar with the religion. I've never heard. I'm not saying they're lying. It could just be a choice they're making. I've never heard of anyone saying they couldn't go to another wedding because it wasn't Catholic or that they can be in the wedding.
- [13:25]
B
They can't be in the wedding party, but they can be at the wedding. I think that's even more confusing.
- [13:28]
A
Yes.
- [13:29]
B
It's kind of like There was a girl. Well, they were twins in my class growing up. They were Jehovah's Witnesses. And they could eat. If someone had a birthday party at our class, they could eat the cupcakes and cake, but they couldn't sing.
- [13:46]
A
They couldn't sing Happy Birthday.
- [13:47]
B
They couldn't sing Happy Birthday. And I kind of was like. Even at that age, I remember being like, hmm. Seems like you're kinda, I don't know, picking and choosing.
- [13:56]
A
Yeah. You don't wanna do the work, you
- [13:57]
B
wanna reap the rewards. You wanna eat the cupcakes my mom
- [14:01]
A
brought, but you don't wanna sing to me. Right.
- [14:03]
B
And I was kinda like, that doesn't make sense. It would make sense if you were like, I have to leave the room for the birthday celebrations. But I'm like, why can you? Because going to a wedding is showing support for someone's marriage.
- [14:13]
A
Yes. I think it's so hard because all religion is full of double standards.
- [14:22]
B
Totally.
- [14:22]
A
But, like, there's no things like that.
- [14:24]
B
Parties aren't in the Bible.
- [14:26]
A
100%. Wedding parties are not in the Bible. That's so true. Also, this person does not say that they are of a specific religious sect. So it's also not like, necessarily their ceremony is even religious or even if it's not, it's like, I don't know. But I'm also just like. Even if it is another religion, it's like, you all believe in God, so.
- [14:48]
B
Yeah.
- [14:49]
A
I just think it's a little str. I think it's a little strange.
- [14:54]
B
You know what? I think it's like, okay, this is what I think. I. I think you can totally have friends who you're not on the same page about with everything. I have friends who are more my, like, oh, those are my. That's my friend that kind of, you know, she goes to church and she does. You know, I, like, have friends who are not. But my best friends. Not happening. You know what I mean? And so I think, like, it's totally fine to have people. These people. You don't need to cut them out, I don't think completely. Unless you feel like they're really making you feel bad.
- [15:23]
A
Yeah.
- [15:24]
B
But I think you should try to start working towards not having your core group of friends be a lot of people that you feel like you don't align with on a lot of things.
- [15:34]
A
Sure.
- [15:36]
B
Because I think that is hard for a multitude of reasons. And honestly, I think that you don't realize how much it affects you until you're not in it anymore. But I used to have very few gay friends, specifically, like, very few lesbian friends. And I didn't really realize what a bummer that was until I had. Now I feel like most of my friends are lesbians, and how different I feel around those people is really special and awesome. So I would just encourage you to start being aware of, like, oh, maybe I should seek out some other friendships that aren't with these people. And these people can still be in my life, but maybe they don't need to be my entire wedding party. And maybe you do have friends and, I don't know, the whole. Maybe you do have other friends, but I just think it's not something where it's completely not okay to have them as your friend. But I do think, just for your sake, you want to go through life with people next to you that don't. You do feel, like, wholeheartedly support you and don't feel any shame around you.
- [16:40]
A
Yeah, you.
- [16:41]
B
You do. I'm gonna say your lifestyle, but that's not what I mean.
- [16:44]
A
Your lifestyle of not having a Catholic wedding. So I googled, can Catholics go to non Catholic weddings? One thing that I think is very interesting is most of what I'm seeing is referring to weddings as valid or invalid, which is saying, if you're not having a Catholic wedding wedding, that's an invalid marriage is what this is, which is so funny. And if it's a marriage between a Catholic person and a non Catholic person, it's invalid. If it's a marriage between two Catholic people, but they don't have a Catholic ceremony in a Catholic church, it is invalid. So. And once again, there's, like, all types of stuff on the Internet about, like, everything. You never know what is right and what is wrong. Hold on, let me. Let me read this. Yeah. It seems like it's really across the board. Some people are like, it's not good. It's a sin. And some people are like, why would this ever be bad? There's nothing about this in the Bible. Okay.
- [17:40]
B
But I don't. I don't know. The not going to the wedding at all makes more sense to me.
- [17:44]
A
Sure.
- [17:45]
B
I don't get the wedding party party thing.
- [17:47]
A
Yeah, I completely agree. Why could you go to the wedding but not be in the wedding party? It's just standing versus sitting.
- [17:52]
B
Literally. Like, I. I think that's kind of absolutely made up. I think that's giving. I don't want to be in the pictures.
- [18:01]
A
Because you're scared that other Catholics will see it.
- [18:04]
B
Yeah. That your family will see it. That you in a gay wedding party. And I'm sorry, I. The more I talk about it, I do think it's because you're gay.
- [18:10]
A
You think?
- [18:11]
B
Yeah, because I think it. Otherwise it wouldn't matter about the photos because people wouldn't know if it was a Catholic wedding or not.
- [18:17]
A
Well, if it's in a forest versus in a church.
- [18:21]
B
Well, now I need to get more information on where. If it's deep in the forest or not. But I feel like sometimes these people care so much about what their family thinks. Like adults who are still. And obviously some people on their own accord find religion very important to them in their adult life. But I think a lot of people who are like, I kind of live in the regular world, but I also like still have this. I still have this connection to the religion I was raised with. I find that those people, in my experience, care deeply about what their parents think of them. And I think they don't want to have pictures taken of them.
- [18:56]
A
I hear that. I'm also just like.
- [18:57]
B
Because otherwise, literally, why would that matter?
- [19:00]
A
Yes, I hear that. I'm also just like, you can't go to a non Catholic wedding, but you can own an iPhone, right? I don't know.
- [19:08]
B
There's just a lot of haircut and you. There's just a lot of things.
- [19:11]
A
I'm like, huh? So I'm like, don't. I don't think you need to cut them out. But yeah, I would just be like, that's doesn't align with my life and I probably wouldn't be that close when
- [19:21]
B
I guarantee they're going to try to eat some of your wedding cake, even if they're not in the wedding party
- [19:25]
A
and they're not going to sing Happy birthday to you.
- [19:27]
B
If I know one thing about these types of people, they're trying to do as little work to get.
- [19:31]
A
To get as much cake as possible. They're trying to maximize the cake. My girlfriend of almost two years and I can't seem to get over one recurring issue in our relationship. She has absolutely terrible table manners.
- [19:45]
B
Oh, no.
- [19:46]
A
She talks with her mouth full and spits food bits. Shoves huge bites in her mouth while it's full of food. Leaves sauce all over her face, Wipes her hands on her pants, eats with her hands like pancakes with syrup and more. It can be really embarrassing at social events. Like this time. She took an empty chip bowl at a small party and dumped the crumbs into her mouth. Friends have made comments to me about this privately about how it's Hard to watch. Or tried to encourage her to use napkins in a roundabout way. I've gotten to the point that we are arguing about it and I feel like a nag. But I just can't spend the rest of my life suffering every time we eat together or every time we go to a social gathering with a bowl of chips involved.
- [20:30]
B
Oh, my God. Do you know what this sounds like? What's that movie that I just watched with Lauren Lapkis?
- [20:35]
A
Oh, the Other Missy.
- [20:36]
B
The Other Missy sounds like.
- [20:38]
A
Like it's just absolutely not even real. Really Wild. Wow. This person says it's made even worse that she's hungry. Basically 24 7. So it's not like I get a break meal times. She thinks I'm being ridiculous, doesn't really care. But I think her behavior is rude and not normal. I feel like I'm losing attraction to her at times because I'm so disgusted by her eating habits. Like, what kind of adult walks around with ketchup all over their face? I'm kind of at my wits end and don't know how to effectively communicate my feelings to her about this in a way that doesn't turn into a fight.
- [21:11]
B
You simply, honestly, you have to break up.
- [21:14]
A
You have to break up.
- [21:15]
B
Never heard anything like this. Sounds like you're dating like a Paddington Bear.
- [21:20]
A
You have to break up. This person wishes they were a Paddington Bear. This is crazy. This is wild behavior. Unless this person that you're dating was like abandoned in the woods and then found when they were 12 and so they don't have normal social skills. This is wild.
- [21:41]
B
I mean, I know people like this.
- [21:44]
A
I don't.
- [21:45]
B
It is deeply upsetting.
- [21:47]
A
I don't know if I know anyone this bad.
- [21:49]
B
No, no, no. Not that bad.
- [21:50]
A
Okay. Because there are things where it's like,
- [21:52]
B
I know people who talk with their mouth open and spit food and it like, actually is the most upsetting thing.
- [21:57]
A
That's what's so hard. The spitting. That's what I was going to say. Because there are things where it's like you leave sauce all over your face. That's between you and God. I don't really care about that.
- [22:05]
B
Oh, that would bother me. I would hate that.
- [22:06]
A
But I'm just like, whatever. The spitting food bits that affects other people.
- [22:11]
B
But I think it also, like, is telling about other things. Things. I'm like, you are walking with sauce all over your face. I don't even know what. Like, that's just. That's.
- [22:22]
A
You seem very careless.
- [22:23]
B
Yeah. And you, like, don't care about the way you look or the way you. I just am like, no, I'm sorry. You honestly have to break up. I don't care if they're like, run a life saving charity. And they are.
- [22:37]
A
You don't care if they run a charity.
- [22:39]
B
Yeah. And are good at eating. I think you have to break up with them.
- [22:42]
A
Well, I can only imagine the way they.
- [22:45]
B
Ketchup everywhere.
- [22:46]
A
Ketchup everywhere. Wiping their hands on their pants.
- [22:48]
B
God.
- [22:48]
A
Jesus Christ.
- [22:50]
B
Horrible.
- [22:51]
A
Really, really wild. Yeah.
- [22:53]
B
Yeah.
- [22:53]
A
I think this is a person that is not thoughtful is what it reads to me. Big picture.
- [22:59]
B
Yeah.
- [22:59]
A
This is such a strange way to act.
- [23:02]
B
I'm just like validating you that it's enough of a reason to dump someone.
- [23:08]
A
Yes, this is very strange. Pancakes with syrup with your hands, but also not using a napkin. It, like, doesn't make sense.
- [23:16]
B
Well, and I'm sorry what it would take. Now, I don't know what your friends are like, but what it would take for me to pull a friend aside
- [23:22]
A
and be like, hey, you need to use a napkin.
- [23:24]
B
And the fact that you said multiple. I mean, it has to be bad.
- [23:29]
A
It has to be really bad.
- [23:31]
B
Break up. Next question.
- [23:32]
A
Sorry, you gotta break up.
- [23:34]
B
Today's episode of Happy Wife, Happy Life is sponsored by Herobred. Trying to eat better. Start with Herobred. Herobread is high in fiber, low net carb with zero grams of sugar. Bagels and pastries for breakfast on the go, hot dog and burger buns for holidays and cookouts. Pasta and tortillas for healthy lunches and nutritious dinners, you would never know. Herobread is low net carb and high fiber. It tastes great and the texture is fantastic. In our house, Herobread is truly a staple. I probably have Herobred's pasta three to four times a week. I'm addicted to it. Put a little pesto, put a little butter, put a little parmesan. It is delicious. And I feel really responsible eating it because there's so much fiber in it, which is a thing that I struggle to eat because I just want to eat meat and bread and cheese and pasta all the time. And I'm not getting fiber. And so this is absolutely perfect for me. Herobred is offering 10 off your order. Go to Hero Co and use code Wife at checkout. That's Code Wife at Hero Co. Today's episode of Happy Wife, Happy Life is sponsored by Mint Mobile. Say goodbye to overpriced phone bills when you can switch to Mint Mobile. Same coverage, same speed, unlimited talk, text and data, all on the nation's largest 5G network. Mint Mobile plans start at just 15 bucks a month for three months my favorite thing about Mint Mobile is the price. It is so affordable I could even afford it when I was really, really struggling financially. And trust me, there was a time I was really struggling financially. There was a time that I tried to get a hundred dollars to sell a social media handle that I'd had in middle school and at that time I could have still afforded Mint Mobile. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans@mintmobile.com wife that's mintmobile.com wife upfront payments of 45 for 3 months 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to 15amonth new customer offer for first 3 months only then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. Semenmobile.com for details today's episode of Happy Wife, Happy Life is sponsored by Bilt. Do you rent or pay a mortgage? Bilt is a membership that makes those big monthly expenses work for you. With Bilt, every housing payment earns you points that you can use towards Travel, Lyft rides, Amazon.com purchases and so much more. If you know my wife, you know that she loves getting points. She is getting all the points for travel and the hotels and she's really utilizing every single center. So Bilt is absolutely a delight for our family. With Bilt's new neighborhood Concierge feature, you can make restaurant reservations, book fitness classes at places like Soul Cycle and Core Power Yoga and access exclusive members only experiences. You're literally earning rewards while you explore your neighborhood. Join the membership for where you live at. Join bilt.com wife that's J O I N B I L T.com wife make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you.
- [26:28]
A
I'm a 28 year old queer person who has been in various types of relationships ranging from casual hookups to a nearly six year long relationship. I found myself in several situations where I develop big feelings very quickly and drift into daydreams of what if scenarios about me and my partner's future. Most of my life I've been someone who tends to feel things deeply and intensely. However, in my romantic relationships it has been always often resulted in struggling to stay present and even getting told I'm not on the same page with someone after previously thinking we were. Some of these situations were with people who didn't know what they wanted. But I do think it's worth evaluating myself as well since it has come up more than once. Do you have any advice or Thoughts on how to balance staying present and communicative with someone while also letting myself be a big feelings who loves romantic things.
- [27:18]
B
I think you have to force yourself to get hobbies and do things during that early dating period that fills your schedule. Yeah, because I was like that very much and I don't think it's a problem. First of all, I think there is some things to be worked on. Like, I'm not saying that the way I was at 20 is how you should be, because it's not. But I was like that when we started dating. But I think that you also. So you can work on yourself and you can prioritize. I think that can lead to being codependent.
- [27:52]
A
Yeah.
- [27:52]
B
So you want to, like, continue to fill your life and have a nice life so that you're not just sitting there waiting for that person to think about you and text you and you're just daydreaming constantly. Like have other things to do. I think you also need to date a big feeling bitch. I can't say it, but I think you also need to date a big feelings bitch. There it is. Because I think sometimes people who are like you and like me will gravitate towards people who are chill and more slow to feel those big feelings. And so then it makes you feel like, okay, I need to be chill. I need to like, not get too excited. I need to pretend that I'm not even thinking about them. And I think what you're doing is like pretending to be something that is ultimately that is compatible with them, but you're not that person. So you're not actually compatible with this person. Because I feel like even though there was a lot of things I worked on through our relationship to help myself feel more secure, there was never a moment that I felt like we weren't on the same page. Because you also were super excited.
- [28:56]
A
Yes. And I also have a lot of big feelings. So I agree with you that you gotta find a person who's on your level. But at the same time, I have certainly done this in the past and I think it's easy to get ahead of yourself. I think it puts rose colored glasses on things so you're not seeing red flags, warning signs, because you're so busy being like, oh my gosh, this person's so fun. We could have so much fun. I can picture us traveling the world together and blah, blah. So you have to find this balance. I also think it really takes you out of the moment, so it makes you more anxious about the future. Whether or not you are actively thinking about being anxious. It puts so much on the future, which puts an incredible amount of pressure on the now.
- [29:33]
B
Yeah.
- [29:34]
A
And one thing I hear regularly from people who are in long relationships, marriages, whatever, they're like, oh, I wish I had had more fun while I was dating.
- [29:42]
B
Yeah.
- [29:42]
A
Because I was so anxious while I was dating, or I was so focused on the future.
- [29:45]
B
I feel that way. Yeah.
- [29:46]
A
I just, like, wish I had had more fun. I think that's so common that. I think that's what you have to focus on, having fun in the moment. And I think it's totally fine to daydream and be like, oh, my gosh, like, I'm going to date with a surfboarder. Like, surfboarder. A surfer.
- [30:01]
B
Surfer.
- [30:01]
A
Surf border.
- [30:02]
B
I liked it.
- [30:03]
A
That's crazy.
- [30:03]
B
I didn't even clock that it was wrong, honestly.
- [30:05]
A
Surfer. And you're like, wow. Like, I can just see us in Hawaii, like, on the beach, whatever. Like, that's a fun one. Like, let yourself have a little fun with it, but try to kind of quell it there. Like, let yourself have some big fantastical ones. But don't get down to, like, well, I wonder when we're gonna start dating. And I wonder. Da, da. And what?
- [30:23]
B
It's just.
- [30:24]
A
It becomes too much.
- [30:25]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [30:26]
A
So I think you have to relax. But this is a good thing to talk about in therapy. I think this is a form of anxiety, to be like, why'd you have big feelings?
- [30:34]
B
Yeah. Well, that's what I've always felt. Well, and my therapist always tells me that, like. Because I think there's been times where, like, I get thoughts in my head that I like, daydream about. A big daydreamer.
- [30:43]
A
Yeah.
- [30:44]
B
And then sometimes those daydreams, if I deem them kind of like, oh, that's not a good. I shouldn't be thinking about that. Or I shouldn't be thinking about. Blah, blah. It's like, I. Guilt. I'll be like, oh, my God, am I. It's. I don't know how to describe this, but it's basically like, I think I'm doing the thing I'm daydreaming about.
- [31:00]
A
Yeah.
- [31:01]
B
Does that make sense? So I feel guilt over a thing that I sure have done. Or I feel, like, pressure, like, okay, don't think about that. Don't think about that. And then you're like, it. But she's like, you think you need to think of them as just, like, a normal part of the way your brain works and be like that. Oh, that's my brain just like having a escapism fantasy, for example, and just let it pass. And just let it pass, but not give it the power to be like, yeah, you're not doing that. That isn't anything. It's a natural thing your brain does. But be aware of it, the reality of the situation, which is like, you can be like, oh my God, I'm thinking about us surfing in Hawaii. But don't think of that as a valid thing that's going to happen. Think of it as like a daydream, you know?
- [31:44]
A
Absolutely. My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We are 26 years old and have lived together for 2.5 years. Our five year anniversary is this Friday, April 24th. Okay, that's tomorrow for us.
- [31:57]
B
My God.
- [31:58]
A
So we might have an update sooner than you think. On our anniversary last year I told him I am ready to get engaged and I would like to be engaged by our five year anniversary. He was completely on board and we eventually looked at rings in October 2025. I think he bought the ring in December. Hard to tell. Turned off his locations on his phone for five hours. We both have stable careers, we just moved into a house that we will probably stand for five years or more and we are both doing decent financially. There really is no barrier stopping us to being engaged or planning a wedding in the near future. And like you mentioned in a recent episode, we're kind of at the point where we're sick of each other in a cute, lovey dovey way. However, I have a lot of anxiety and I'm also the kind of person who wants to be surprised, but also looks around the house for Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, et cetera. So I am at a point where I'm so antsy and I'm so ready to be proposed to so much that I want to scream. I love my boyfriend. He's an amazing partner, but he's very much a dilly dalier. How do I let it go and just let it happen? I have tried to let it go, but I'm just so excited at the prospect of our future and planning a wedding and planning on an engagement party and whatnot. So it's just slightly disappointing every weekend realizing it's not happening. I like to think that I'm a go with the flow kind of gal, but I would be lying to myself. There's also a possibility I put too much pressure on him because I told him I wanted to be whisked away after the proposal, which may be the delay. Who knows? By the time you read this, I could be engaged. How do I remain patient and not turn into a little gremlin waiting for this special day?
- [33:34]
B
Oh, that's so funny. Part of it could be. I told him I needed to go on a huge trip after we proposed.
- [33:40]
A
That does affect the timing of it.
- [33:42]
B
Yes. Well, because I'm like, well, do you feel like there's. Are you going on a big trip soon? Do you have time off from work soon that he would. I don't know. What do you think, Jordan?
- [33:53]
A
I think this is so hard. I think that you are too obsessed with instant gratification. That's how I feel about people that are obsessed with, like, finding out what they got for Christmas or their birthday or whatever. You can't enjoy anticipation. You said it's anxiety. To me it reads as anxiety. You have to have, like a controlling grip on whatever the thing is. So you can't let yourself be surprised. You can't let yourself enjoy the anticipation. Yeah.
- [34:17]
B
Are you excited to get engaged or are you excited for the anticipation to be over?
- [34:20]
A
Yes, and I've definitely struggled with anticipation and leading up to things big time. It's so hard for me because I like to just know so I can, you know, whatever. But that is very much my anxiety. So I think it's hard. I think you need to work on being in the moment and enjoying the anticipation. You're never going to get this back. You're never going to get the excited time leading up to your proposal back unless you get married again. And then you will. But even for most people, what best case scenario, or maybe worst case scenario, you're having this three, four times your whole life. Best case scenario or worse? I don't know. It depends on who you are. But you know what I mean, it's not like this is a regular occurrence that's happening in your life. This is like a rare and fun thing. So let yourself have fun with it.
- [35:05]
B
I totally agree. I think it just really is something that. Just think of it as almost an exercise for yourself. Like, think of this as therapy homework given to you by two unqualified therapists.
- [35:15]
A
Yes.
- [35:15]
B
Where you're like, okay, maybe it's better the longer he waits because I'm working on anticipation, enjoying the anticipation.
- [35:24]
A
There we go.
- [35:25]
B
Because also I think you're like, I'm excited for my life to start. And it's like, well, your life's already started. Yeah, like get. You can. You can already start planning your future. It seems like you guys have already started, started planning your future. The engagement really doesn't change anything in that. I understand if you're excited to throw an engagement party, but, like, that's not enough. You can't be so excited to throw an engagement party that you're not enjoying months of your life at a time because you're so stressed. Like, I think that's just not what's happening. I think you need to. Look, I think you. It's not that you're. I. I think you're right. It's just, like, you want control over everything.
- [36:03]
A
Yeah. But I hope you're engaged now. You have to write back in and tell.
- [36:07]
B
I know. I hope so, too. But it sounds like he's really sweet.
- [36:09]
A
What? Do you think they're engaged or. No?
- [36:11]
B
I think so. I think they are going to do it on the.
- [36:13]
A
On the anniversary. Yeah, I think he's going to do it on the anniversary, and then they're going to go somewhere.
- [36:18]
B
Where do you think you're going to go?
- [36:19]
A
It's so hard because it's so dependent on where they live, because I don't think they can go on, like, a cruise to Antarctica if she doesn't know about it.
- [36:25]
B
I think they're going to New York City.
- [36:26]
A
You think?
- [36:27]
B
To see a Broadway show. This is just a guess. This is a shot in the dark.
- [36:30]
A
Okay. I think they're going to go to, like, a cabin somewhere or, like, in a national park or, you know, something like that.
- [36:38]
B
Oh, I like that. I want to do that one Christmas.
- [36:41]
A
Okay.
- [36:41]
B
I have, like, the best. I had one of the best Christmases I ever had. I was four years old, and my parents took us to a cabin, and it was so cool. And I remember I got a. A bunch of stuffed care bears, and my sister got one of those. Do you know what I'm talking about? They're like the. You build a roller coaster.
- [37:01]
A
Sure.
- [37:02]
B
She got one of those.
- [37:03]
A
I thought you were gonna say one of the best Christmases you've ever had was when we stayed in a cabin after we got married.
- [37:10]
B
Oh, well, that wasn't technically Christmas. We.
- [37:16]
A
Yes, it was.
- [37:17]
B
We returned home on Christmas, if you remember.
- [37:19]
A
Yeah. So we woke up there on Christmas
- [37:20]
B
morning, and that was very special indeed. Also, one of the other best Christmases was the morning Jordan proposed to me on Christmas. Oh, my God. What the hell? And then whisked me away.
- [37:30]
A
I forgot about springs.
- [37:32]
B
No, I was just thinking about cabins. I mean, I. I just remember it being really special because, you know, the snows outside the window.
- [37:39]
A
No, I remember because I've had That as well after we got married with
- [37:42]
B
me and Yep,
- [37:44]
A
I am 29 years old and just left a 5 year relationship. I am really craving intimacy, physical closeness, touch, etc but I'm not sure if it's too soon to see new people. Here's some background info on the relationship and timeline. We got together in 20. They moved across the country in 2023 and we maintained a long distance relationship for about a year. I moved cross country to be with them in late 2024. I struggled to adjust and just didn't feel happy with my life or relationship. February 2026 I told them I wanted to break up and move home. I moved home early March and I'm happy with my decision now that I've been back for a month and physically and emotionally distance myself from that relationship. I'm really missing the feeling of being close with someone and some days I'm just so dang horny. I've never had a friend with benefits, random hookup, or even dated casually. I mistakenly fell into serial monogamy for my late teens until now. So I'm not even sure how to do the casual thing. But I want to. No time is too soon.
- [38:42]
B
Have you? I agree. I'm like, who cares? I really think that I'm just like, okay, it doesn't matter. Also, have you ever done friends with benefits?
- [38:49]
A
Yes. Sorry, I never did. It's not that good.
- [38:53]
B
I kind of like to think we're friends with benefits.
- [38:55]
A
Thank you, sweetheart. We are in a way.
- [38:58]
B
In a way. Best friends with benefit.
- [39:00]
A
Best friends with tons of benefits. Tons of benefits, including insurance. I think that there's no time that's too soon. Unless you break up with someone because you're like, I don't want to be in a relationship. I think you should be chill for a little bit.
- [39:14]
B
Wait, but what if you're like, I want to be casual.
- [39:17]
A
What do you mean like?
- [39:19]
B
Like if you get out of a relationship because you're like, I don't want to be in a relationship, then it's not too soon to be like, I want to start having casual sex.
- [39:26]
A
Yeah, that's fine. That's different.
- [39:27]
B
Oh, I see.
- [39:27]
A
I see. But I don't think you should immediately get into another relationship.
- [39:30]
B
But are they ask. I thought they were asking about being casual with people.
- [39:33]
A
I'm not talking about them, I'm just talking about in general.
- [39:35]
B
Oh, sorry. I'm trying to stay focused. Sorry.
- [39:38]
A
I'm just saying I think no time is too soon.
- [39:41]
B
Yeah, I agree.
- [39:41]
A
Unless you break up with someone to be Like, I don't want to be in a relationship. And then you immediately jump into another relationship. I think that's not great normally. I mean, sometimes it happens and it works out great. But I think in general, you didn't want to be in a relationship, so you got out of a relationship, and then you immediately get back into a relationship. I think it's because you like new things, exciting things, whatever. I think there hasn't been enough time for you to work on yourself.
- [40:02]
B
I Do. You know what I think when people that I think a lot of people lie about tell me. And I saw someone talking about this online recently. They were like, I just got in a new relationship. And, well, let's just say it came into my life when I was least looking for it.
- [40:18]
A
Oh, sure.
- [40:19]
B
And I'm like, shut the fuck up, bitch. You were looking for it. You've been looking for it. You know what I mean? I'm like, you, like, people will get into this relationship, and they always describe it. They're like, yet at the time, like, I'd sat myself down. I'd be like, I'm not dating anymore. Like, I'm focusing on my career. And even if, like, a beautiful, hot, sexy, gorgeous person walks in my life and they're obsessed with me, I'm gonna be like, ew, no.
- [40:40]
A
Yeah. I mean, nobody means it.
- [40:42]
B
Yeah. Just like, shut up.
- [40:44]
A
Yeah, nobody literally.
- [40:45]
B
Shut up.
- [40:45]
A
I think some people are like, I'm not gonna actively. Look, I'm not gonna be actively dating right now.
- [40:50]
B
Yeah.
- [40:51]
A
But. Yeah, I don't think.
- [40:51]
B
But I think people give. I think it's bad advice, because I think then people are like, okay, so a relationship's just gonna come to me. And I'm like, of course.
- [40:59]
A
More often than not. No. Yeah, sometimes it does.
- [41:01]
B
No, it did for me. Most of the time, you have to beg for it. Right, John?
- [41:12]
A
That's good. All men should be begging for their relationships. That's truly how I feel. I just feel like also, some people are like, don't get into a new relationship after a breakup or give yourself time to not date. And I think some people do need that advice. I really do think, for some people, they need that advice. But I also think you can grow a lot and change a lot while you're dating.
- [41:34]
B
Yeah, I agree. You know, I always say that I feel like I've come more into myself being in a relationship with you, gotten to know myself better being in a relationship with you than I have when I was single.
- [41:45]
A
I agree, because I think you're like,
- [41:47]
B
well, you didn't know me before I was single. No, not about you.
- [41:48]
A
About myself.
- [41:49]
B
Just kidding.
- [41:50]
A
Because you are like a mirror for your partner.
- [41:54]
B
Yeah.
- [41:54]
A
You know?
- [41:55]
B
Yeah. What's something you've learned about yourself while dating me?
- [42:00]
A
That I need to be more appreciative every single day of every single thing.
- [42:09]
B
Oh, I like that.
- [42:11]
A
Because. Not that I'm not, but I think, like most people, I'm just not actively thinking about it because I'm, like, going on with my life. I'm working, I'm stressed, whatever. But you always, since we met, will just be like, how lucky are we? Like, you're just, like, doing the dishes, and you're like, how lucky are we that we have such nice dishware? We're walking the dog. How lucky are we that there's a cool breeze right now? We could be somewhere way too hot. You know, it's like there's always just, like, little things, but then sometimes you're like, oh, how lucky are we to, like, have found each other? Big things, too, but even just the small things. And so I try to do that now as well, and I try to practice that. And now it's come more naturally to me. And I think it does make your life better. I think to take a second and say things out loud and really appreciate things and put that top of mind. I think it makes you feel less stressed.
- [43:03]
B
Yeah.
- [43:04]
A
I think it really does make you think about how good your life is.
- [43:07]
B
It makes your life feel better. Because if you say it, it's like your words are so powerful.
- [43:11]
A
Well. And I think it's so easy to get to a point where you're only letting yourself complain.
- [43:15]
B
Oh, yeah. Because not in our house. I think if I was a mom, that would be my biggest thing I was anal about. I would be like, no complainers. Yeah.
- [43:23]
A
Because I think it's. There's. Especially right now, there's so much bad stuff going on in the world. Things are so tough. But I think that reminding yourself that there are things that are good in your life, for most people.
- [43:39]
B
Yeah.
- [43:40]
A
That is very grounding when it's a habit.
- [43:43]
B
Because there are people and you know them, you have them in your life where it's like, everything you say, I don't even think they realize, but they're responding with a negative.
- [43:51]
A
Yeah.
- [43:52]
B
Oh, well. But, you know, this was kind of annoying. Or this. Like, they can't. Their instinct is to go to the negative. And I'm like, that is so unattractive to me. And I'm like, you are sad.
- [44:01]
A
Yeah. Well, and also to be clear, I'm not preaching toxic positivity because I think that's annoying. I think it's fine to be upset when you're upset, but sometimes it's able to just get this film of, like, stressed anxiousness and frustration over you.
- [44:15]
B
Yeah.
- [44:16]
A
That you see everything through that lens.
- [44:19]
B
Yeah.
- [44:20]
A
So I'm, like, doing a better job of being stressed or anxious or frustrated when I actually am or need to be and then letting that go when I don't need to be.
- [44:29]
B
Yeah.
- [44:30]
A
What have you learned about yourself?
- [44:32]
B
I think dating you, I've learned. Well, earlier I was talking about what I've learned, like, about myself separate from you. Because I think that's, like, what we were talking about. So I'm like. Well, I've learned a lot about my interests, and I've learned a lot about things I like, and I've learned about what I care about, and I think I've gotten more solid in my beliefs. But I think what you've taught me is how to really show up for people. Like, you've shown me how to be completely selfless as a friend and a partner in a way that I've, like, never even seen before.
- [45:03]
A
That's so nice.
- [45:04]
B
That's how I feel.
- [45:05]
A
Wow.
- [45:06]
B
Anyways. God, I rock you do. You really do. I think you're, like, genuinely the kindest person I've ever known. I'm serious.
- [45:14]
A
So nice. No, I mean that John Wayan second. Who's first? My wife.
- [45:21]
B
Why would John think you're the kindest John?
- [45:24]
A
I got him a Christmas gift.
- [45:25]
B
That's true. Selfless.
- [45:28]
A
But that's pretty good. He said second that.
- [45:30]
B
Yeah, well, he's scared to see his face right now. He's perfect. Yeah.
- [45:34]
A
I'm the kindest person in the world. And I'm also so mean. No, you are the kind.
- [45:39]
B
I think you really are genuinely the kindest person in the world. I've never seen someone so, like, you are really thinking of other people in the least. Like, the least expecting of anything in return way. Like, you just so rarely think of yourself in a way that I'm always like, jordan, you need to, like, think about yourself and your needs and what you want and what you. In time to yourself and all this. But you just give so much of yourself without expecting anything in return. And I love that. I think your parents are that way, too.
- [46:11]
A
Yeah.
- [46:11]
B
Yeah. So I think you taught it. You learned it from them.
- [46:14]
A
Yeah. We're big acts of service people.
- [46:16]
B
You are, but you really. There's no pressure in return is that you're never doing something to get something.
- [46:23]
A
Yeah.
- [46:23]
B
And I love that.
- [46:24]
A
Yeah.
- [46:24]
B
That's very cool.
- [46:25]
A
That's so sweet.
- [46:27]
B
Oh, this is gross. Let's move.
- [46:28]
A
Sorry.
- [46:29]
B
Yeah.
- [46:29]
A
Everyone's gonna know I'm soft.
- [46:31]
B
You are. I think that is.
- [46:32]
A
That's right.
- [46:34]
B
No, I'm not strong. Well, I. I am excited for this week.
- [46:42]
A
You did not know where that sentence was going when you started it.
- [46:44]
B
I'm so scared.
- [46:46]
A
What's going on?
- [46:47]
B
No, I'm just, like, you know, I've been locked in my little dungeon.
- [46:52]
A
I know.
- [46:52]
B
Reading my book.
- [46:53]
A
We're talking about this in the next episode, so save it.
- [46:55]
B
Oh, am I in trouble?
- [46:56]
A
You're in big trouble.
- [46:57]
B
Ooh. Spoiler alert for the next episode. Thank you all so much for being here. We always appreciate you sending in your questions. It is such a treat to answer them and get to hear about your lives. And if you're interested in following us on Instagram or any social media, please do so. It really helps us out. Make sure if you're listening anywhere, you get your podcast to rate and review us. And please, more than anything, have a wonderful week. The skies are clear today. High of 80. Ooh, that's too. A little too hot for me.
- [47:26]
A
But it's not high of 80 today.
- [47:27]
B
I know. I'm trying to do my radio hosting.
- [47:29]
A
Oh, God.
- [47:29]
B
It got even in Australia. Jordan, I can't pick the weather. You're just doing kind of like my radio show, Outro.
- [47:34]
A
Annette. Yeah.
- [47:36]
B
High of 80.
- [47:37]
A
Positive.
- [47:37]
B
For some of you, we got a low of 30. High wins. For some of you, no wins. And I hope that you have an awesome week.
- [47:44]
A
Another incredible episode.
- [47:45]
B
Another amazing episode.
- [47:47]
A
Bye.